Settling in was about as difficult as expected. Gavin thoroughly explored his rooms, intending to unpack. There was a large, homely living area, a cosy bedroom, and a simple bathroom. Upon entering the bedroom, the small hearth sparked to life to warm the cold space. He shoved a few hot coals in the metal bed warmer and left it beneath the sheets for later. His large travelling trunk had been left at the end of the bed, and he was surprised to find the contents had been put away for him already. The clothes from Madam Malkin's had been neatly hung in the wardrobe or folded away in the drawers, along with his older clothes. In the living area, his delivery of books had been left neatly stacked and tied by the stairs with the desk supplies in a neat bundle beside them.
He made a start and carried the bundles down to the office below. His wand made short work of the twine, and he was soon arranging the heavy tomes in alphabetical order on the large shelves. Rather than by author, he arranged them by title, with each shelf dedicated to a different skill level. When he was done, he had three full shelves. It wasn't much, but at least it looked a little more lived in. He sighed as he sat in the large chair. It was hard and uncomfortable. Definitely something to be replaced. He put up with it as he looked over the schedule he'd been left. The year was starting slow, giving everyone a chance to settle in. He'd have a NEWT level class in the morning, followed by an OWL and third year class. These wouldn't be too intensive, just introductions and getting to know the students mostly. That'll give me some time to explore the grounds after…
Grabbing one of the more advanced tomes, he headed upstairs to brush up on a few things for his first class. He moved one of the plush chairs closer to the hearth and settled down with his feet propped on a matching stool. As he read, he summoned a pot of coffee from the kitchen and heated his pumpkin pastie over the fire. He took his time, savouring each cinnamon bite and bitter sip. He read long into the night, and still wasn't tired when he finally snapped the book shut and headed to bed.
He removed the bed warmer and changed into his cotton pyjamas before slipping between the sheets and settling down. After waving the fire out, he set his wand on the pillow beside him on the large double bed. He always kept his wand within arm's reach. It was somewhat comforting that Hogwarts had so many enchantments keeping evil at bay. He felt safer there than he had anywhere else for a long time. Despite that, he was finding it hard to sleep. The beauty of the Scottish highlands came at a price. The wind whistled as it passed, rattling the old windows. He couldn't hear it howling through the corridors at least, not from his cosy, closed in tower room.
The double bed was large and comfortable. The mattress was firm without being too hard, and the duvet was thick, with a warm red bedspread. It felt like they'd raided the Gryffindor common room for old furnishings. Maybe they had. There was no reason to let it go to waste. Gavin nestled a little lower in the bed and nuzzled his face into the fresh cotton of the thick, downy pillow. It was comfortable, but perhaps a little too comfortable. He wasn't used to such luxury. He was more used to curling up on springy old cots or damp floors. Phck, I don't want to turn up looking raggedy on my first day…With that in mind; he twisted and shrank into a ball of brown fluff.
Sleeping as a cat was often far easier than sleeping as a human. He didn't feel the cold as much, and felt comfortable curling up almost anywhere. He stretched on his paws and padded in a circle before curling up in the dark beneath the sheets. His ears and tail flicked lazily as he soaked in the lingering warmth of the bedding. The duvet muffled the world beyond. He could barely hear the wind in the trees or the rattling of the window. The dying crackle of the fire was barely audible as he started to purr. He wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or bad that he finally drifted off.
He was pretty sure it was a bad thing as he opened his eyes to find himself back in the darkened alleyway. His lungs ached, and he gulped down air as his nose bled, sending warm floods of copper down his throat. He wasn't sure if it was broken or just bleeding, but it hurt like hell, and the blood was sickeningly warm as it gushed down his chin. His eyes felt foggy from the beating as he was forced to raise his head. He couldn't even make out the man's face. He grunted and tried to pull free of the hand in his hair, but it only pulled his head back further in response. It fucking hurt! His hands had been locked behind his back with a jinx, and he'd been forced to his knees. His breath hitched as the tip of a wand touched his chin.
"Just tell me what I want to know, Reed…I have no interest in drawing this out. All I want is the name. That's it…I'll make it quick and painless." Gavin was ninety percent sure the guy was lying. He'd blasted through a fair share of his men. He'd want revenge for that, if he and his men were friends. Do guys like this have friends? The wand pressed harder. "Tell me." Gavin stubbornly shook his head. He wasn't about to get someone else killed. If they were going to kill him, then so be it. He grunted as the back of the man's hand struck his cheek. "Back off." Gavin almost whimpered as he was released, holding his breath and curling up in preparation. "Crucio!"
An inhuman shriek tore from his lips as red sparks of energy coiled around his body like crackling bolts of lightning. His flesh burned right to the bone. His skin buzzed with energy. It felt like every pore was splitting open and spitting fire. Tears spilled down his cheeks, and he swore his eyes were melting. He could feel needles pricking his skin, but the surface was a raw, aching wound. He writhed and rolled beneath the spell, unable to even see the caster. His throat was raw and painful as he finished. He gulped down air and lay there trembling, unable to think. He felt sick and dizzy. All he could register was the absence of pain. He almost choked on bile as the hand returned to his hair and hauled him to his knees again.
"Give me the name!" Gavin blinked tears and gulped down air as he trembled. He couldn't stop. The aftershocks of pain still lingered, making his body twitch. His voice caught in his throat, coming out as a mindless groan. "The name, Reed…Tell me!" Gavin let out another mindless roar, glaring hard in a way that told him to go to hell. He couldn't even hold himself up as he was released. His temple hit the cobbled path, leaving a painful scrape and a slowly purpling bruise. That was the least of his problems. "Crucio!" He wasn't even ready for it as the pain returned.
His lungs burned as he tried to scream and breathe in at the same time. He sobbed and shrieked, foaming at the mouth as he choked on bile. He couldn't focus on anything. His mind was blank beyond the endless, searing pain. The continuous shuddering sent him into a fit. His limbs scraped the pavement as he trembled and writhed. His head bounced on stone, the pain drowned out by blinding agony. He didn't think it would ever end. His skin was flushed from endless screaming and lack of air. It glistened with stress as he bled from various injuries. It hurt so much he was surprised he hadn't passed out yet. He choked on bile as his eyes rolled back, his whole body jolting.
"Gavin! Gavin, open your eyes!" He gasped in a breath, green eyes snapping wide. Gentle hands cupped his cheeks, holding him still. He was lying on his back, tucked safely in bed. Tears spilled as he sat up, still panting as he gripped the large hands that held him so gently. "That's it, Gavin…Breathe…" He couldn't stop shaking. His pyjamas felt damp and uncomfortable. The sheets had pooled at his waist, letting the cooling air of the room caress his skin. He couldn't speak. His voice was stuck in his throat. He swallowed a small whine as he bent lower. His skin prickled as gentle fingers ran through his damp locks and gentle whispers hushed him.
"N-Ni-Nines?" Those silvery blues gazed down at him in the darkness. They almost seemed to glow, like a tiger in the night. Gavin was still trembling as he drew back and wiped his eyes and nose. There was no blood. He wiped his temple. No blood. Just sweat, snot, and tears. Relief swept through his chest at the realisation. I'm safe. He was sitting in bed, in his rooms at Hogwarts. Those men couldn't get to him. They probably didn't even know he'd recovered. "What are you doing here?" Nines had left for his own rooms earlier. It made little sense that he was now…kneeling over me? He was pretty much straddling him, and he was only half dressed. He had an upper body that was sculpted like one of those Greek statues in the muggle museums. His pecs were nicely rounded, the cool autumn air making his nipples harden. His arms were strong and toned, not exactly what he'd expected from a herbology teacher, though it probably made sense with all the soil he lugged around.
"I sensed your distress." Gavin wasn't sure what he meant by sensed, but he couldn't deny the distress part. He was grateful he'd pulled him out of it. Those dreams could last for hours. Judging by Nines' straddled position and lack of clothing, he was half convinced he was still in one. "You were in pain." That's a phcking understatement…He didn't say it. A nod was enough. Nines' expression softened sympathetically as he continued to stroke his cheeks. Gavin couldn't help shivering as he closed his eyes and greedily accepted the proffered comfort. "Let me take it from you…" Green eyes widened as soft lips found his own. He was too stunned to move at first. Nines' lips lingered, softly caressing his. He slowly leaned in, closing his silvery eyes as one hand moved to lace in his hair.
"Mm-wait…Wait, Nines…we work together!" Gavin gasped in a small breath as Nines continued littering small kisses against his objecting lips, whining quietly as Nines lowered his body. It had been a long time since he'd had another person above him like this. His lips instinctively returned the gentle affection Nines lavished on him, silently begging for more. "Shouldn't…It's unprofessional…" Another small sound escaped as he turned his head and Nines' teeth closed over the sensitive skin just below his ear. Despite his objections, his arms had already wrapped around Nines' neck to caress his skin and fist in his hair.
"There's no rule against it…" Gavin shivered at the sound of that deep, silken rumble in his ear. He could almost feel his smirk against his neck as he continued to nip and tease the sensitive skin. That there was no rule against it wasn't the issue. Sleeping with co-workers was just asking for trouble. What if they caught feelings, and it went wrong later? What if only one of them caught feelings? It could make life awkward in the long run. Then there were the students to consider. It wouldn't take long for them to cotton on somehow. "Stop thinking so much…Just relax and feel better…" The nips softened into long, lingering sucks and kisses. Gavin whined, quietly enjoying the way Nines' lips dragged up and down his throat. He moved across his collarbone and up the other side to his neglected ear, where he nipped and licked the lobe.
"Phck, Nines…" He couldn't help himself as he pulled him closer and buried his face in his naked shoulder. He smelled nice. There was something earthy and fresh about his scent. It probably shouldn't have surprised him, considering the time he spent outside in the greenhouse. His skin was warm and soft. The only roughness was in his hands where he spent his time hefting pots and lugging earth around. There wasn't a single mark on his perfect torso. Nothing but moles and freckles. Gavin was becoming more and more convinced it was a dream. No way would someone as perfect as Nines be interested in a scarred up gremlin like him.
It almost felt like Nines had heard him on some level as he greedily returned to his lips. A hand caressed his stubbled cheek as he devoured him, leaning his weight on the arm above his head as he slowly settled against him. Gavin squirmed beneath the added pressure, though he wasn't too heavy. It felt good. Having someone. Being with someone. He couldn't remember the last time he'd let someone this close. That's another reason he knew it wasn't real. He didn't let people close, and people didn't want to get close. As an auror, he'd been too secretive and too busy to care. I'm not an auror anymore…Technically, that was true. He couldn't deny the fact he was still doing them a favour though. That's right, Nines could be-
The thought cut off as sharp teeth bit his bottom lip. He didn't break the skin, but he certainly had his attention. Gavin openly moaned, the parting of his lips giving Nines the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss. He was startled as Nines' tongue stroked his own. It was an unfamiliar sensation, one he wasn't sure how to reciprocate. He was hesitant as he flicked his own tongue along the roof of Nines' mouth. A contented little hum escaped him as he continued to tease and explore. His breath was warm as he drew back enough to breathe. It was hard to understand how Nines could look so unaffected. He was panting, but his skin was still pale, while he knew his own must be an unsightly shade of red. His heart was racing a mile a minute, his skin was clammy, and his eyes were bloodshot from his previous nightmare.
"Relax, Gavin." Relax? That seemed unlikely, given the fact there was a half-naked guy straddling his hips and kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was surprised his trauma addled brain had even come up with such a scenario. I only met the guy tonight! Sure, that was long enough for him to take notice. Who wouldn't? Nines was one of the most handsome men he'd ever met. He probably had a string of girls after him. He didn't even know if Nines was sexually drawn to men like that. "Shhh…" I didn't even say anything! Nines' lips quirked in amusement as he held himself on his knees and stroked his clothed chest. He pressed small circles against his pecs and sides, doing his best to relax him.
Relaxing was easier said than done. Gavin wasn't used to intimacy like this, and he barely knew Nines at all, but there is something…comforting about him…He could feel his sore eyes getting heavy as Nines continued to stroke and tease his muscles. He felt safe. That was a rarity even when he was by himself, but it was almost unheard of around other people. Nines murmured a few words of praise and encouragement as he noticed him tire. His eyes blinked slowly as he tried to keep them open. He whined softly, shaking his head to clear the growing fog. Sleep rarely ended well these days, especially after a nightmare.
"It's alright, you're safe…" He knew he was physically safe. Hogwarts was pretty much impenetrable, one of the safest places in England. It had to be, given that it was raising the next generation of young witches and wizards. It's not my body I'm worried about. With sleep came nightmares. His skin chilled and prickled in anticipation of the pain. "You'll sleep soundly tonight." He wasn't sure why he trusted the conviction in Nines' tone, but he did. Nines' lips softened into a small smile as he leaned down to kiss him again. It was chaste this time. Slow, lingering presses that offered comfort and reassurance. "Good, Gavin…Sleep now…"
He hadn't heard him cast a spell, but he certainly felt charmed as he settled against the pillows and sank into the mattress. He blinked lazily as he looked up at him. Warm silvery eyes held his own as his blinks grew longer and longer. Soon, he couldn't open his eyes at all. They were too heavy. He hummed tiredly, turning his head and leaning into the gentle fingers carding through his hair. He felt warm and safe. Lips and fingers soothed his worries and eased his fears. Soft whispers chased away his nightmares and the lingering earthy scent lulled him into a light slumber. His mind quieted until the whole world seemed to stop.
"Good night, Gavin." He barely heard the words as he drifted, floating on a cloud until a shrill sound reached his ears. He opened his eyes with a startled blink, heart racing as he jolted upright. It was his alarm. A searching hand slapped the shrill bells until they stopped, and he dragged himself out of bed. He felt groggy but somewhat rested. He didn't even notice he'd returned to human form in his sleep at first. It happened sometimes. He stretched and cleaned up before the nerves fully hit. It struck him as he stood half naked in front of the wardrobe that this was it. His first day as a professor. He wasn't so much worried about being liked. Some of the best professors he'd ever had were the ones he'd loathed. What he worried about was doing a good job, of actually getting the right knowledge across. Would they listen to him? Would they respect him?
Considering his reputation, he wouldn't be surprised if they didn't. He'd been pardoned from a lifelong sentence in Azkaban. Most civilians didn't know the full details. Hell, the prosecution probably didn't even know that much…He was pretty sure he'd be in Azkaban if they knew the full extent of his usage. Luckily, they'd only looked into this latest torture incident and the events leading up to it. His loyal service, good reputation, and the co-workers standing up for his character had been enough to get him off. He knew many witches and wizards would resent that. They'd believe he deserved to serve that sentence, no matter the circumstances. Gavin sighed and closed his eyes as resentment filled his chest. It's easy for civilians to say that shit when they'll never experience it…They're blessed with the ignorance that comes from our protection.
He still felt jittery as he looked through his new clothes. He didn't have to be as dressy as the day before. There was no huge banquet that day. Despite that, he still wanted to make a good first impression. Something strong and mildly imposing. A look that would let them know this guy's seen some shit. He licked his lips as he grabbed a plain set of black slacks. That part was easy. He looked through the shirts and settled on a plain white one with the same slightly ruffled collar as the day before. Looking in the mirror, he fastened the cat cameo at his throat and tugged the collar. Neat. A little plain, perhaps.
He looked through the waistcoats before stopping at his old leather jacket. The brown leather was weathered and worn through years of service. He'd worn it on every mission since becoming an auror. It wasn't exactly charmed, but he always felt safe while wearing it. He could blend into unsavoury crowds, slip through the shadows, and it had limited protective capabilities. It had been patched a few times over the years and softened with wear. A comforting shroud. He pulled it on and looked in the mirror. It sort of goes…After slipping into his new boots, he turned this way and that before taking a nervous breath and huffing it out as he tugged his lapels. You can do this…
It was early yet, and there was something he needed to do before heading to class. It wasn't exactly urgent. He likely wouldn't be duelling or casting defensive spells that day, but before he was willing to unleash himself on other people, he needed some security. It was something that should have been proposed during his trial, but with his retirement, they'd seen no need. He did see a need. A glaring need. They were crazy to let him go out and buy a new wand, let alone have him working around children unchecked! He considered himself lucky that Hank understood. It had been one of their mutually agreed conditions for him accepting the position.
He'd originally planned to ask Tina. Of the two of them, she was the most skilled in charms, and you should never cast complicated spells on yourself. He honestly wasn't sure Tina would have gone along with it. Charms weren't her speciality. Transfiguration was her thing. It was also a rather extreme method of control, one that could prove fatal in certain situations. Gavin considered the risks acceptable. He was retired, and unlikely to see real combat again. It was more dangerous to leave himself unchecked and risk hurting someone else in a heated moment. There was a reason that certain curses were illegal. Despite that, he thought Tina may be reluctant to help. Luckily, Hank was an expert in charms. An expert who was on his side.
"You're here…Good." Hank didn't even look over his shoulder as he flicked through a thick tome on constricting charms. Judging by his choice of reading, Gavin assumed he already knew why he'd come. It was still early. Students were still getting out of bed and heading down to breakfast while staff were on monitoring duty in the great hall or setting up their classrooms. Gavin had done neither yet. He was too nervous. Worried. "I know we already discussed it in writing, but I want to be sure you understand what you're asking." Gavin was hesitant. He was pretty sure he knew already. His past was on record, and had even been featured in the media.
"I do. I want…" He paused. It wasn't a want. He knew himself too well to even pretend. "I need you to cast the Retineo charm on me." Hank didn't even look up from his book. He didn't make a single move to show he'd heard. The only reason Gavin knew he was listening was that he'd already said he was. He hesitated, unsure how long he should wait. Should he wait for him to ask why? Or just blindly blurt out everything? The silence was getting uncomfortable. Gavin swallowed his insecurity. "You've heard what they say about me…It's true. I'm a trigger-happy dumb phck who can't control his urges. I don't…I don't want to hurt people. In the years I spent working as an auror, I-I guess I've become too dependent on the more…extreme curses. It's a reflex. When I'm trying to survive, I take the easiest route. I know it's wrong…but I'd rather be wrong than dead." Hank's expression didn't change, though he did finally close the heavy book with a resounding thud and set it on his desk.
"Once I cast it, I can't uncast it. If you get in trouble and need those spells, it'll slow you down." And probably get me killed. Gavin nodded. He'd thought about it for a while. The spell wouldn't stop him from using them, but the searing pain would stop him in his tracks and make him think twice. The problem was that the pain would also leave him wide open to attacks. It wouldn't be a problem in a standard duel, but if he was on a mission, it could get him killed. "Alright…Roll up the sleeve of your casting arm." Gavin did as asked. He shrugged off his jacket and left it over a desk before unbuttoning his thick cuff and pulling the material to his elbow.
Hank held out his hand expectantly, prompting him to walk over. He almost felt like a student getting ready for punishment. Some would likely consider this a punishment of sorts. To Gavin, it was peace of mind. He'd feel safer knowing he couldn't hurt anyone, at least, not unconsciously. He took a breath and swallowed as he laid the back of his hand in Hank's palm, offering his forearm. Hank's hand felt worn, but surprisingly warm as he gripped his hand. Aged blue eyes looked up for permission before he slowly lowered the tip of his wand against his pale wrist. Gavin gritted his teeth and steeled himself.
"Retineo!" Gavin held his breath as the burning started. He'd heard of the spell, but seeing and feeling it in action was something else entirely. His skin warped, like veins were rising to the surface. As the bumps grew more defined, he realised they weren't veins at all. They were vines. They thickened, stretching and tearing the skin. A strained cry of agony rent the air as the vines breached the surface. Thorns pushed through his skin as the black vines wrapped around his arm and tightened. It wasn't as bad as the Cruciatus Curse. He didn't think anything could be. It was still pretty bad, though. Hank held him steady, keeping his wand pressed against the spot even as he fell to his knees. With a final, constricting squeeze, the illusion dissipated. The vines retreated, sinking beneath his flesh and leaving behind a winding black vine pattern around his forearm. It was like those tattoos he'd seen muggle sailors get.
"Th-thank you…" Gavin remained on his knees, catching his breath and cradling his arm against his chest as Hank released him and stepped back. His expression was neutral, but Gavin could see the guilt in his eyes. As the caster, he was now responsible. Whenever Gavin suffered the pain of that curse, it would be his fault. If he wasn't fast enough in overcoming the pain in an emergency, his death would be his fault. Gavin got to his feet, getting a good look at the winding black that encircled his arm in restrictive coils.
"You should probably do a test…make sure it took." Gavin licked his lips as he drew the elegant wand from his hip harness. He didn't want to get into the habit of doing this, but Hank was right. It made sense to make sure the spell was actually going to work. Hank spread his arms in invitation, making Gavin frown. He had to have a subject to cast it on, but that didn't mean he actually wanted to. He took a breath and readied himself, putting all of his bottled up hatred and intent into the spell.
"Cruci-ugh!" It hurt so much he dropped his wand. It fell with a clatter as the black vines rose across his skin. They didn't breach the surface and rend his flesh as they had before, but it certainly hurt enough to stop him in his tracks. He cradled his wrist against his chest, breathing hard as the pain suddenly disappeared. He blinked. It was astounding. The pain was blinding, and then completely gone. Its only aim was to make him pause. Once he'd paused, the choice to continue or not was up to him. He could either switch to a safe spell or push through the pain to cast. He sighed as he picked up his wand. "Lumos." A simple light appeared at the tip of his wand before floating up in an orb and dissipating. That was a relief. He could still cast regular spells. "Worked like a charm." Hank huffed at the quip, but remained less than amused.
"You haven't eaten yet." Gavin wasn't sure how he knew. His stomach wasn't rumbling or anything. "Believe me, I can tell. Go on, staff rules. Everyone eats before they teach." Hank clapped a hand on his shoulder as he walked him to the door. Gavin was pretty sure that was a rule he'd just made up, but he wasn't about to argue. He rarely ate out of habit, not because he wasn't hungry. He could go a full day, maybe two, without eating if the situation called for it. That's probably not good learned behaviour though…
"Yes, Sir, and thank you again…I mean it." Hank gave him a tight smile that said he understood before steering him towards the entrance hall and giving him a small push of encouragement. The hall was loud and bustling as students started their day. Some were almost finished, some were just coming in to sit down, and others had just entered to grab something small to take with them to the common rooms or library. A few were even going straight to class to get a head start in their studies. Chloe and Connor were on duty that morning. They walked around the hall, occasionally admonishing students here and there for being too loud or rowdy.
"So, you're the clueless halfwit my brother wouldn't shut up about…" Gavin had barely reached the dais when the voice sounded in his ear. He had three instinctive reactions when startled. His first choice was to disapparate, but that wasn't an option within the grounds of Hogwarts. The second was to transform, however, he wouldn't do that in plain view of so many people. Third was to attack. The wand was in his hand before he even thought about turning, heart leaping into his throat as he span, ready to attack. He stopped dead as he completed his turn and recognised the speaker as Connor, or someone who looked like Connor. "A little tetchy, aren't we?" He tried to hide the tremor in his hand as he returned his wand to its holster and tightened his jaw. Sixty's lips curled as he ran his eyes up and down his body as if assessing him.
"I guess I am…" Gavin left it up to him to decide which of those questions he was answering. He didn't even know himself. Maybe it was both. Sixty huffed in amusement as if he understood. There was something different about him. He seemed unbalanced. There was something in his calculating eyes. A glint of chaos that Nines and Connor lacked. Across the hall, Gavin noticed Connor watching them. His expression was somewhat unreadable as he slowly made his way down the Slytherin table. "Gavin Reed…What should I call you?" He didn't want to just start calling him Sixty or Seph without knowing which he preferred.
"What indeed…" That was less than helpful. Gavin stiffened as Sixty took another step up the dais to stand barely an inch from his face. He knew he was unsettled. His lips curled again, amusement dancing in his bright hazel eyes as he slipped by. Gavin breathed again as Sixty headed to the table and took his seat, finally able to move. He wasn't sure if he was just messing with him or deliberately trying to start a confrontation, but it had almost worked. The phck was he doing, sneaking up on me like that? They didn't even know each other. He could have just attacked right off the bat. He would have if he hadn't recognised his face.
"Good morning." Gavin gasped and reached for his hip again before remembering he'd seen Connor heading his way. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you…and I hope my brother wasn't too difficult." Gavin sighed, calming his racing heart as he turned to give Connor a small smile of greeting. Connor was giving him a similarly polite look, occasionally eyeing Sixty. Gavin could only guess that, of the three, Connor's job was damage control. He was probably the eldest. The eldest was always more responsible. It was true of Elijah and Tina, too. He'd say Tina had it the worst with three muggle brothers to wrangle. She was a force to be reckoned with, considering she couldn't use magic to do it.
"No, he was just…saying hi." Connor didn't buy it for a second. Like him, Sixty was extremely protective of Nines and, having heard about the incident in Diagon Alley, he wasn't surprised he was sizing up the newcomer. They'd done their due diligence already in checking his history. It had made sense to learn more about the man they'd be working with. Tina had, of course, defended him. Nines had also done his fair share of defending, curiously enough. He wasn't sure why. It wasn't like they had any past connection. It was also no surprise that Elijah was on his side. Gavin was his brother, and Chloe often went along with her fiancé on such things. Sixty hadn't seemed too bothered by the trial. He was more bothered by the incident in Diagon Alley, though Connor had to admit, he may have been a little hasty in his original judgement. Gavin had apologised, and so far he'd been polite. Nines had even seen him to his rooms the night before without incident.
"Don't mind him too much…He takes a while to warm up to new people." Gavin could relate to that. He was actually surprised by how easily he was settling in. Maybe it was being back at Hogwarts and the familiarity that came with it, but he'd allowed Nines, Hank, and Connor into his personal space without incident so far. Sixty unsettled him a little, but perhaps they'd both get over it in a few days. "I'd best let you eat…You wouldn't want to be late on your first day." Connor strolled off with a polite nod and continued his rounds, leaving Gavin to hurry to the table to grab some toast and eggs. He wasn't sure what kind, and he wasn't about to ask. All he knew was that they were pale blue, right down to the yolk. They tasted good though, so he wasn't about to ask questions.
By the time he returned to his classroom, the seventh years had already entered and taken their seats. He paused nervously in the doorway to watch for a few moments, getting a feel for the small group. There was only fifteen of them. Many students didn't return for the NEWT years at all, and this was an advanced class. Few got grades high enough to allow them to take NEWT level Defence Against the Dark Arts. It was one of the more dangerous topics to study, so students had to get an Outstanding at OWL level to qualify. That had been Professor Fitzgerald's rule, and Gavin saw no reason to change it.
"Well, I heard he's used all three of the unforgivable curses!" It was a Ravenclaw girl who was speaking. Her voice was low and quiet, like she was telling a horror story around a campfire. The three students around her gasped, but the student behind her, a haughty Hufflepuff, scoffed at the idea. Gavin tried not to feel too small or judged as he listened in. People talked. He knew that. He'd always known that. It didn't mean the words didn't sting.
"Don't be ridiculous! If that were true, he'd be in Azkaban right now!" Gavin huffed softly as a flurry of agreement fluttered around the room. It seemed a pretty even split. A few believed what they'd heard, and others called it hogwash. More rumours started up. He'd razed a village to the ground. Killed a group of poachers. Fought a dragon. Murdered a group of innocent travellers. He'd even saved the Minister of Magic himself. Some of these were true, of course, but many were just colourful tales.
"I think he's used all the unforgivables, even the legal ones!" Gavin chose that as his entry point. He shut the door with a loud creak and a gentle tap. A grand slam of the door was all well and good, but there was something to be said for the softer approach. It certainly seemed to get their attention, especially when coupled with his silent footsteps. His boots and years of experience meant he barely made a whisper.
"First off, there are no legal unforgivable curses, only those three, and you're right…I have used them all…Many times." Gavin took his time as he walked between the row of desks to the front, eyeing each student as he passed. They were quite subdued as they realised they'd been caught gossiping, but he wasn't about to give them shit for it. Teenagers gossiped. Hell, adults gossip! "Since you are NEWT level students, let's see how much you really know. This is one of the most important things you're going to learn this year. Why are the unforgivable curses called unforgivable?" He looked around as three or four hands jumped up and settled on the haughty Hufflepuff girl from before. She seemed confident as she shook her curly golden hair over her shoulder. "Yes."
"Because they're so terrible that no one will ever forgive you for using them." That was exactly the answer he'd expected her to give. The other students nodded their agreement. Gavin huffed softly as he perched on the edge of the large demonstration desk at the front.
"No…That's the answer they give you in the textbook for your OWLs because it's what they want most people to think, but it's not the right answer…These curses are bad, sure. Torture, mind control, death. They're three of the most extreme things you could ever do to a person, but they're not unforgiveable because of what others will think…They're unforgivable because you have to live with yourself…Whenever you use those curses you make a conscious choice…You choose to hurt someone. You choose to control someone. You choose to kill someone. Some people can live with that. They revel in it. For others, it's a matter of survival." He paused, letting his words sink in. This wasn't exactly the topic he had planned, but it seemed to be the topic they were going with. There was an unearthly silence as the students clung to his every word. There was a silent question hanging in the air. It was almost deafening.
"Which one are you?" It was a Slytherin boy who'd asked, a soft faced brunette with curly hair. Not one he recognised. He was either of mixed blood or his family was one of the lesser nobles that didn't take part in pureblood gatherings. Gavin huffed softly. It was a question he'd asked himself many times, and the answer always seemed to change. He couldn't say he'd never teetered on the edge of enjoying it way too fucking much. He shivered at the memories.
"I've only ever used them as tools to defend myself." That didn't mean he'd never enjoyed it. He didn't say that last part out loud, but he had the feeling that more than one student picked up on it. They also picked up on the shame. Gavin pushed to his feet and paced a little as he began his lecture. "A lot of the time, it's justifiable to use them, especially in dangerous careers like being an auror or an unspeakable. I worked as an auror for over a decade, and I learned pretty quickly that the fastest way to get out of a situation alive was to use those curses…The Imperius Curse is the least severe of the three…Anyone know why?" Gavin shrugged out of his jacket and left it over his desk, ignoring the way a few of the girls started eyeing his chest. Teenagers will be teenagers.
"Is it…because it doesn't hurt anybody?" It was another Hufflepuff girl. She was timid looking, quite shy and uncertain. Gavin gave her a small smile and nodded.
"Bingo! Five points to Hufflepuff. You can, of course. Someone under the Imperius Curse will obey you no matter what you tell them to do, and that includes killing themselves and others. The curse itself though? Harmless. I probably used this one the most during reconnaissance jobs. It's the easiest way to get in and out without getting caught. Use Imperius, order them to let you through or cover for you, then tell them to forget you were ever there or tell no one they saw you until you're gone. By the time the curse wears off, you're long gone, and no one got hurt." The students broke out into small murmurs, nodding at each other. That didn't sound too bad. The alternative in that case was likely fighting or killing. A little mind control seemed preferable, and it wore off. The ability to justify its use is what makes it so dangerous. Luckily, one of the Ravenclaw students voiced that very sentiment and received points in reward. "You've got a sharp mind, and you're absolutely right…That's a concern with all three curses. Regular use makes them seem so much more justifiable…I'll only use it in an emergency can easily change to I'll use it because it's easier. Before you know it, you're reaching for them without even thinking about it, and that's the most dangerous thing of all." Another flurry of chatter sounded. Gavin didn't mind that. Talking was good. Talking was healthy.
"You said you've used all of them, so what about the Cruciatus Curse?" It was a Slytherin who asked this time. A young man he recognised from a few gatherings. One of the Runcorn family. Frederick, if he remembered correctly. He had thick, dark hair with a flash of white at the front and sharp blue eyes. His mother, Lillian, had the same white streak. It didn't surprise him to hear this question from a Slytherin. Many pureblood families still regularly used that curse for recreation.
"Never for prolonged torture." He made that perfectly fucking clear. The pureblood habit of using it to play with muggles disgusted him. "It's most useful as a momentary distraction. If you're trying to get the upper hand in a duel for your life, there's no better way to completely disable someone than a burst of Cruciatus. Those of you who have read the papers likely already know I'm somewhat an expert on the subject…The pain of this curse is unreal. Whatever you're thinking right now, dial it up by ten and you're halfway there. The smallest burst will leave you writhing on the floor, which is why I put it above disarming spells. Expelliarmus will take the wand out of their hand, sure, but it doesn't take them out of the fight. If you're in a group situation, but you don't want to kill anybody, then a few short bursts of Cruciatus will leave them all squirming long enough for you to hightail it out of there. It has its uses, but again, it's very easy to justify its use. On reflex, it's the spell I'm most prone to reach for…If you can help it, don't turn out like me. Don't let it get that far." He was very serious as he gave that warning. He wasn't proud of his relationship with Cruciatus, not one bit, but it had saved his life more times than he could count.
"And the killing curse? How do you justify that?" It was a Gryffindor boy who asked this time. Of course it is. No other house was more high and mighty when it came to things like this. Some of them took bravery to laughable extremes. They considered these curses beneath them, and for most people, that was just as well. If you couldn't handle the consequences of using them, then you had no business learning them. He'd killed people, and he accepted that. He was fucking happy with that. There were some people that this world was better off without. It was naïve to think that everyone had redeemable qualities deep down. Some people didn't.
"I justify it because I'm here and they're not. That's it. Avada Kedavra is the most unforgivable curse for a reason. If you use it, you do so knowing that you're taking a life, and that's not a decision to be taken lightly. You can look down on me for using it, and that's fine. I don't blame you. The fact of the matter is, I'm alive today because I've used it. I've used it more than once…I won't tell you how many times, but I will tell you it's a lot more than anyone ever should. That's something you should consider carefully before signing up to be an auror. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's a dangerous phcking job, and it's easy, so easy, to end up dead. Knowing and using these curses won't always save you, and most civilians won't condone it, but those who are in the field, those who get it, they won't judge you." The atmosphere was so tense he could cut it with a knife. He hadn't originally intended to get so deep, but they needed to fucking know. They needed to understand that life wasn't always black and white. It wasn't always good and bad. There was an endless, murky sea with countless shades of grey between. The lines weren't always straight. They weaved and crisscrossed, and you had to tread so fucking carefully. It was so easy to fall on the wrong side, and sometimes you could never get back. He was damned lucky that there were people at the ministry who understood that. People who saw him. People who put their necks out and trusted him.
"Do you ever regret it?" It was such a quiet question he didn't even know who'd asked. It might have been a girl who spoke. He swallowed hard as his lip trembled, taking a breath as he steadied himself. As if he was about to bawl in front of his students!
"Every damned day." He rested his hands on his hips and looked down at the stone floor as he composed himself, coughing to clear his throat before returning to lean on his desk. The atmosphere eased somewhat as he put on a relaxed front. He didn't want to scare them off on their first day. Things had gotten pretty heavy, but since that was out of the way, maybe they could all settle in and have some fun for the rest of the year. His honesty had forged a level of trust between them. They had their answers and knew what they were getting. They knew he wouldn't lie to them, because he'd already confessed to the worst things anyone ever could. "Now, I know this was a heavy topic. I get it. Some grown ass adults can't handle shit like this, so if any of you want to leave or request another professor to tutor you, I won't blame you." A hesitant hand went up. "Yes."
"I-um…I-it's just…You said you were prone to reaching for these curses, especially the Cruciatus Curse." Gavin nodded to the timid Hufflepuff girl at the front. She was right. He'd said that. "W-well-um…How do we know you'll never use it on us?" He softened a little, giving her house a few points for both her wisdom in asking and her bravery in broaching the subject. It can't have been easy. He was a professor. Respected by Professor Anderson and the Ministry of Magic itself. He'd even confessed to regularly using these curses. It could be dangerous to question him like that.
"I don't blame you for asking, and I'm glad that you did…This is something that those of you taking Charms will learn about later this year. Does anyone recognise these markings?" He rolled his sleeve up and held up his arm, turning it this way and that so they could see the thorny vines creeping up his arm. Most of them looked confused and uncertain as he pushed himself up and moved closer, letting them all get a good look. He paused by the timid Hufflepuff girl, who hesitantly reached out to trace her fingers over the black markings. He let her explore. It was a purely clinical touch. She was curious, surprised to find the edges ever so slightly raised. "Anyone?"
"It is…a restraining spell?" It was a peppy redheaded girl from Gryffindor who'd asked, frowning as she leaned over her desk to get a closer look over her glasses. He gave her house points for her deductive skills and rolled his sleeve down again.
"Absolutely right. It's called Retineo, and it's exactly what it sounds like. It's a charm that was made to restrict certain behaviours. If I try to use one of the three unforgivable curses, these vines will break through the skin and literally restrain my arm…I can still choose to cast, but it'll hurt like a bitch. So, if I reach for the Cruciatus Curse on reflex, the Retineo charm will give me the reminder to stop. I requested this with the express purpose of keeping you, and everyone else here, safe. I absolutely will not hurt you." The Hufflepuff girl smiled timidly as she inclined her head in understanding. Everyone seemed to relax a little with that reassurance. He couldn't blame them. He felt more relaxed himself. "Well, it seems about time to end things, so are there any other questions? Maybe something lighter?" A few snickers sounded at that last part. "Yes?"
"Are you American?" Gavin huffed at the question. He totally got that. The Detroit accent was one of the first things he'd picked up during his missions abroad.
"Absolutely not, I just spent a lot of time out there over the past few years…Detroit, if you're curious. There's a lot of scope to work internationally at the Ministry." An excited flurry went around the room, and soon more questions came about travelling and life in America. They were amazed to learn how far one could apparate, and how floo powder worked over long distances. They wanted to know what he'd seen, who he'd met, and what his favourite part of working abroad was. He was glad to end class on such a high note. A lot of them hovered around to ask more questions and say goodbye personally before hurrying out with excited murmurs. Gavin sighed in relief as he sagged against his desk. That first class went so much better than expected.