Did that really just happen? The cold water feels like ice on my skin. Was she really grinding into me? Wrapped up in my arms, pinned under me?

I'm clearly awake, I didn't imagine what just happened. I just don't understand how it happened. She was reacting to me, grinding into me.

She wanted me.

The frustration of being cock blocked just as I finally had her washed over me. I let the anger rise up through my throat in a desperate and furious scream.

I run my hands through my scalp and pull at the hair she teased through her incredible hands. The ghost of her touch still haunts me. It's driving me crazy.

The cold water doesn't do anything to calm me down or lessen the effects she had on my body. I grab the base of my dick. The image of her pinned under me, the taste of her soft supple skin, the feeling of her hands in my hair and her hips grinding circles into me; they play through my mind.

I tighten my grip and move my hands in fluid motions, knowing exactly how best to build the pleasure till I snap. With my free hand I pull at my own hair until the slight pain melds with the pleasure and pushes me further towards the edge. I'm panting and gasping for her, moaning her name as I finish.

When my body finally calms I'm left with the anger and frustration that I didn't get to cum for her. That it was my hands and not hers that were bringing me to that point.

I shut off the water and grab a towel.

I grab my clothes, throw them on, and trudge down to the town center.

As the day goes on I barely see Lucy at all. I only hear the town's people talk about her as we all work to make repairs to the town. Pride swells in my chest when I hear two gossiping women talk about how she's commanding three spirits at the same time while she herself delivers food and water to homes on the other side of town.

I've been working on basic construction work and occasionally helping with the welding efforts necessary to keep the largest buildings in town stable. It's not particularly difficult work. It keeps me too busy to really dwell on this morning. Manual labor work gives me something to do with the pent up anger I feel.

Slowly we make progress. It's clear as day why we'll be here for a week though. The storm absolutely destroyed the southern most parts of town. Everything along the water's edge experienced flooding. Some buildings lost entire sections of their roofs. Dozens of trees blew over, the knotted balls of dirt and roots lay out in the open. Families displaced with no homes, no food, and nowhere to go. The magic council dispatched pairs of wizards like Lucy and I all along the south coast of Fiore. Given that this small town is along a large bay area, it got hit especially hard.

By the time the day is over, we've worked well past sunset and Lucy and I are too exhausted to do anything but sleep. Keeping three celestial gates open for ten hours straight wore her out. By the time her head hits the pillow, she's asleep.

When I walk into our room behind her, I hesitate. We haven't even had a chance to talk to eachother since this morning. Everytime I saw her, she got swept away by someone else. Not knowing where we stand makes me feel uneasy.

I wanna curl up next to her but I don't know if that'd even be ok for me to do. Was this morning a mistake? A one time thing?

I lay down on my own bed. Uneasy thoughts swirling through my mind and I try to sleep.

I wake up feeling cold and alone. The aches from yesterday's work settle into my bones when I sit up. Yesterday was exhausting and I know it's gonna be just as much, if not more exhausting for the entire rest of the week.

Uneasiness creep's its way into my stomach when I notice Natsu asleep in his own bed.

Maybe it was just a fluke. Maybe it didn't mean that much to him. I grab a clean set if clothes, shower, and leave. I don't wake him because I don't know if I can face him. There's too much going on in my own mind.

I hate the disappointment I felt when I woke up alone. The loneliness of it all. Why cant everything just be simple? Everything is so complicated and knotted. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or stay. I just know it hurts that he didn't want to sleep in my beg again. That he never said anything or tried to find me yesterday.

We fall into a silent rythm over the next several days. He stubbornly stays in his own bed each night. Every morning that I sleep alone cuts a little deeper. Eventually every time I come anywhere near him outside the Inn he stares for a brief moment before running to the other side of town to get something done. It because really painful obviously that he's avoiding me.

We don't speak for days. I've never gone this long without talking to him. The ache of loneliness only grows until every time I see him and he refuses to approach me or talk to me, I feel sick.

It's like someone ripped me in half. Even while I'm working I feel like I'm in a daze, wondering where the rest of me went.

I walk down to the pier for a short break. The stress and anxiety is keeping me from doing my best and it's making it even harder to keep my gates open. Taurus and Virgo exchange glum looks before following me. "Are you ok princess?" Virgo asks, forgoing the usual comments about punishment.

When I sigh, I let go of the smile I've been desperately trying to keep on my face. "I'll be alright you guys, can I just have some time to myself?" They nod for a moment. Taurus's gate closes first with a flash of light and the sound of his bells. Virgo however pauses mid bow and stands up straight to give me a hug instead. "You looked like you needed a hug is all. I'll be going now. I'm here if you need me, princess."

The warmth of her hug and kindness she gave me makes my eyes sting. Tears spill over as she disappears in a flash.

I take a seat at the edge of the pier and let myself cry. The pain of watching my best friend slip through my fingers moves through me in hiccuping wave. Each sob stronger that the last.

I wrap my arms around myself in a tight squeeze.

Footsteps grow closer to me as the wooden pier creaks. I don't even care about who it is or if they see me crying. What does it matter?

I can feel the person take a seat next to me as the wood shifts underneath them. I look over to see Loki, dressed in his usual suit. I sniffle as he pulls me in for a hug.

"You need me to kick Natsu's ass for you Lucy?"

I shake my head and try to wipe away some of my tears. "How did you know that I'm upset about Natsu?"

Loki pulls back and rests a hand on my shoulder. "Because I know you Lucy. You're different when you're with him. Brighter and happier. He has always mattered to you more than anyone else does."

I stare down at my hands. "What am I supposed to do? Everything is changing. I don't want to lose him. I... I cant close him..."

Loki stays silent. Determined to listen. "I feel so lost. I feel like part of me got ripped away. Every single day that this divide between us continues, the more painful it gets." Anger wells up in my chest and I slam my fists into my lap. "How could he just turn everything upside down and walk away like that? How could he just leave me alone! Avoiding me like I'm not his best friend!" The words flow quickly. I'm too angry to think about what I'm saying or even care.

"He can't just change everything about our relationship and then leave me like that! What the hell is he thinking! I need him in my life! Who does that sort of thing to their best friend and up and walks away like it was nothing!"

I groan in frustration and stand. I pace back and forth along the pier as Loki silently watches me. "He cant just do that to me! He can't look at me like that and change the way I see him and touch me like he can't get enough of me and then not speak to me for days on end!"

I loop back around the pier glaring at the ground infront of me. "Doesn't Natsu realize how much this affects me? Does he even realize I feel like I can't breathe without him! Does it even matter to him that I fucking love him?!"

I freeze. My own words ringing in my ears. Heat rises to my cheeks and I look up and see Loki's knowing smile. "Oh shut up!" I yell. He clutches his stomach and doubles over in laughter.

I stomp over to him in a huff. I grudgingly sit back down mext to him but refuse to look at him out of principle. "I'm gonna push you into the water if you don't stop laughing at me, Loki! It's not funny."

He settles down a bit and pats me on the back. "I've been waiting a long time for you to realize how you felt about him, Lucy. I could see it clear as day when you first joined the guild and I know your bond with him has only gotten stronger over the years."

"How come you never said anything then?" I ask.

Loki rolls his eyes, "Trust me when I say a lot of people tried. You and Natsu needed to figure it out the hard way honestly. You're too stubborn to listen. I will admit that I didn't think it'd take this long."

I slump into Loki, feeling emotionally and physically drained. "What am I supposed to do? I can't exactly talk to him if he refuses to talk to me."

"Sometimes guys are stubbon, Lucy. Especially guys like Natsu. Maybe there's something on his mind or there's some kind of misunderstanding. My point is, if he means that much to you, dong give up on him."

I nod slowly. "Ok... thank you Loki. I really needed this. How did you even know I was here, anyway?"

"Virgo and Taurus were worried about you. They said you asked for space but you know me, I'm not one to listen. I gotta be there for the damsel in distress." He laughs. His arms stretch high above his head before he stands ok. "If you think you'll be alright, I'll take my leave."

I wave, "yeah, I'll be ok. Bye Loki, thanks again."

As I make my way back to the inn, I think things through. Maybe things will work themselves out afterall.

She's always asleep by the time I get back to the inn and gone by the time I wake up. It doesn't matter how close I am to her, she might as well be in Edolas. I thought I finally reached her almost a week ago but she's still distant every time I see her.

I never used to overthink shit. There was never really anything worth overthinking. Most of the important stuff I had to do in the past involved fighting and even that isn't really something I overthink. I feel like I doubt everything I do around her. I don't know how to approach her or make things right. I don't even know what went wrong.

Everytime I see her I get so lost and confused. I doubt myself until I'm too afraid to even walk up to her. I just turn around and leave, hoping she didn't see me.

I've never been so angry with myself. I feel like a spineless coward. What's worse than that is it all just hurts. I've never felt pain like this before. It's like I feel empty. There's a part of me that's just missing now... it's barely even been a week but it feels like months since I've seen her smile or just enjoyed being around her comfortably. Everything feels dull and boring now that we've become so distant.

I trudge along the road back towards the inn. The dim light of dusk fades and glowing streetlamps light the way back.

The small two story inn comes into view and I see lucy curled up with her knees to her chest on a bench on the front porch.

I stop dead in my tracks. A sick anxiety pools in my stomach. I cant keep running from her. I know I can't. The cracks in me might shatter if I do.

I take a deep breath and tentatively make my way over to her. She's wrapped up in a blanket, staring out into the woods. When she finally snaps out of her revere, I'm making my way up the steps of the porch and taking a seat next to her on the bench. The wood creaks a little as I settle in next to her.

She scoots closer to me, grabs my arm, and drapes it across her shoulders. The small gesture makes me smile as she snuggles close. Some of my anxiety ebbs away. Even just holding her helps heal the cracks in my heart and makes the world a little less dull and empty.

We settle in to a comfortable and companionable silence. Just enjoying the feeling of not being alone. When she does finally speak, her voice is soft and quiet. "I missed you..."

I give her a little squeeze and rest my head on hers. "I missed you too luce." After a while she starts to yawn every thirty seconds or so. It makes me yawn and chuckle. She's so damn cute when she's tired. I shift and wrap my arms around her, picking her up bridal style. "Lets head to bed, Luce. I know you're tired."

She nods and wraps her arms around my neck, snuggling closely into me. When I make it into our room I place her in her bed. She looks up at me with her tired brown eyes and says. "Please sleep next to me... I'm cold and I don't want to be alone..." Her voice is so timid and genuine. Every soul in my body wants to stay but my anxiety tells me to go. I look at my cold empty bed across the room and back at her. She looks up at me in earnest, the hope in her eyes breaks past my anxiety and I clammer into the bed alongside her. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her close, letting sleep and the feeling of peacefulness and safety that she brings me, pull me under.