It's My Life
After somehow managing to remove Narcissa's dark mark and breaking the magic connected to Voldemort on Lucius's mark, Harry had fallen fast asleep and remained such all night until the next morning. Harry still seemed tired and took it easy the rest of the day. It was now April 12th, and Harry was reading in the library with Draco while Severus was in the basement with the Malfoy parents, brewing. Nothing warmed Harry's heart more than knowing this man took him in and had adopted him. And not just regular adoption either, blood adoption.
The magical method that literally made them father and son without disrupting the original genetics Harry had from being Lily and James Potter's son. Severus was now Harry's father, a third parent, a second father. Harry knew that this adoption was more than just them having seen one another as parent and son, it was also the only way to prevent Albus from regaining control over Harry as a magical guardian. Albus wouldn't be able to challenge blood adoption and the only way he'd ever get custody of Harry back was if Severus died and it worried Harry to no end that Albus might actually try something against Snape.
Yes, right now, Severus was Voldemort's spy for the Order of the Phoenix, but the moment it was revealed that Severus blood adopted Harry; things could change. Albus could try to go after Severus to land Harry an orphan again. Harry's only other protection was Sirius Black as godfather, but Sirius was still a felon and wouldn't be allowed to take Harry currently. Harry didn't want to lose the father he'd gained. Not to Voldemort, and definitely not to Albus Dumbledore.
Severus just finished his brewing for the day as it was close to dinner time and he was cleaning up his space.
"Have you talked to Remus and Sirius about if either have spoken to Harry about sex, Severus? We've spoken to Draco again, not that he's revealed if anything has been happening with Harry." Narcissa spoke up.
"I have not. I planned to the night Harry did that mark thing, but he was so exhausted that night and the next day. Then I got the message from Poppy about needing a restock for the hospital wing. I should contact the wolf and mutt to see if they've had that talk with Harry yet…" The potion's master muttered.
It was a talk he never thought he'd have to have with anyone, but Harry was his son now, and that was his responsibility. Severus sat down and pulled out the two-way mirror Sirius had given him back at the start of Harry's fifth year. "Black or Lupin, either one of you there?" Severus asked.
"I'm here, Severus," Remus replied, coming into view.
"Where's the mutt?" Severus asked.
"He'll be right back. Is everything alright with Harry?" Remus inquired.
"Harry is just fine. I needed to talk to you both about a matter involving him, though." Severus informed.
"What about my godson, Snape?" Sirius came into view now.
"There you are. Would you both come through to the manor? I need a word and rather not have it over the mirror. You can floo into the basement, I'm sure you know the address." Severus requested.
"Indeed. We'll be right there." Sirius nodded.
The connection cut as Severus put the mirror into his pocket and waited by the fireplace in a chair. Sure enough, a moment or two later, the flames turned green and roared before dying down to reveal Remus and Sirius walking out.
"Oh, hello. Didn't know you had company. Now, what's all this about?" Remus smiled.
"Have a seat," Severus invited.
"Where's my godson?" Sirius wondered as he sat down next to Remus on a small couch.
"Last I checked, he was in the library reading up on defensive magic to the dark arts with Draco." Severus informed. "Now, I really just need to ask one thing…Have either of you ever had the sex talk with Harry?"
"Never me, I didn't believe it was my place." Remus admitted.
"I haven't felt it was necessary unless Harry came to me asking questions, I also planned on it when he got into a relationship and it was something to worry about. When I met Harry again, he was just thirteen and I barely saw him through fourth year, but his letters told me that the only thing he was concerned about was the tournament. I assumed anything sexual was the last thing on his mind." Sirius informed.
"Probably right about that," Severus nodded. "However, he's now fifteen and surely you've not assumed, Black, that it's not playing in his mind somewhere."
"I figured, again, he'd come asking questions. And all he's dealt with this year…I just feel like he's not worried about it." Sirius remarked.
"Worried about it or not, it's a conversation all teenagers should be having. Or have you forgotten that he's a teenager, Sirius? Wizarding savior forced to grow up early aside…You do know he's still a fifteen year old young man?" Severus reminded.
"Of course I know that." Sirius gave a slight glare. "But Harry and I are very close, Snape. He would come to me if-,"
"Did you go to someone you were close with when you were fifteen, Black? Ask about the birds and the bees, as it were?" Severus eyed the man.
"No," Sirius sighed.
"I do have to agree with Severus here, my old friend," Remus stated. "I got the talk when I was thirteen. Harry grew up with muggles who hated him, I doubt they sat the boy down to explain puberty and sex."
"But given Harry's age, he's likely already gone through puberty. I wasn't around for twelve years to prepare him for that." Sirius stated. "I suppose I'm not too late for the sex talk, I just assumed it wasn't needed until he started showing an interest in girls and he's been too busy or stressed for that."
"The problem, Black, is that it'll never happen. You'll never see him interested in girls because he's gay." Severus informed. "If that's what you were waiting on, you'd never know. Harry isn't into girls, not even a little bit."
"You know this for sure, has he told you?" Remus asked.
"He has, in fact," Severus stated. "More you're unaware of is that Harry's in a relationship."
"What? Who with?" Sirius demanded.
"Draco." Severus enlightened. "They've been together for a month now, or was, on the first."
"Why wouldn't Harry tell us?" Sirius looked at Remus softly.
"You might have learned during the Easter get together, if you had come. It was just us and the Malfoy's, and I knew the day after it happened. Harry and Draco very proudly entered the great hall together, holding hands, and shared a small kiss. I can't say I didn't expect it after catching them in the position I did the night before." Severus crossed one leg over the other now.
"Do I want to know?" Sirius muttered.
"It wasn't anything bad, but it gave away a lot." Severus said. "The snakes were bored, so Harry introduced them to some muggle games. One of them happened to be Seven Minutes In Heaven. It's a game where two names are selected at random, and those two picked enter a closet for seven minutes."
A pause, "They can do just about whatever they want in the allotted time. Draco and Harry got picked and at the end of their seven minutes, neither came out. When the door was opened, the two were rather locked into an intense make out session."
"And then the next day, they were dating?" Remus inquired.
Severus nodded. "That's correct. However, it's not the reason I'm asking if he got the sex talk. It's because during the Easter get together, Draco came over earlier than his parents and he and Harry were alone in Harry's room for a while. I had gone to the door to ask if Harry was alright because he'd fallen asleep midday for a bit, and they obviously forgot silencing charms. From the sounds of things, it wasn't your average two boys hanging out and talking. Again, I knew they were dating, but this was intimate and I do not know if it was everything or just some messing around." He paused. "I felt it was worth asking you two if either had spoken to him about sex. As you have not, I will."
"I'm his godfather, Snape…I will." Sirius remarked.
"I'm his father, I override you." Severus informed.
"I don't care what truce we called, Snivelly…Don't you dare try to take James's place just because you're Harry's guardian." Sirius warned.
"I'm not taking James's place, Black…I simply have one of my own. It's what Harry chose to regard me as to him." Severus folded his arms over one another.
"I'm still his legal godfather. What Harry chooses to see you as doesn't override my place. It doesn't make you his actual father." Sirius glared.
"But adoption does, mutt." Remus and Sirius stared in shock. "I adopted Harry on the 31st; he's my son."
"Is everything okay down here?" Came Harry's voice from the doorway. Harry stood with Draco, holding his hand.
"Harry…?" Remus and Sirius got a good long look at Harry now. How closely he resembled Severus while still holding onto his original look that held James and Lily.
"What are you doing down here? Not that I mind, but thought you were reading?" Severus now stood up.
"I got bored of reading and thought I'd come see if I could help you brew, Dad." Harry shrugged as he walked inside more. "Well, both of us."
"I've already finished for the day, but we can always brew one together, if you like?" Severus offered. "Remus and Sirius were just heading out."
"Why all the yelling? I heard it from the elevator." Draco inquired.
"You guys don't wanna stay for dinner? I missed you at the Easter get together." Harry offered.
"I want to understand why you're calling Snape dad…Why do you look like him!? Why was I not informed you'd been adopted!" Sirius began to raise his voice as he got closer to Harry, who instinctively looked a little afraid and stepped closer to Severus. The potions master pushed Harry behind him protectively as Draco got the motion from his father to step away, so Draco released Harry's hand and went to sit with his parents.
"Back off, Black…" Severus said.
"Don't tell me what to do, Snape…" Sirius snapped.
"Sirius…" Remus pulled his friend back. "You need to calm down. You're scaring Harry…"
Sirius looked at Harry, who was more or less hiding behind Severus now, and the potions master had his wand out and at his side; a manner of which to protect Harry. "Pup, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to frighten you." Sirius retracted instantly.
Harry didn't say anything as he had eyes closed tightly, almost cowering. Sirius tried to get closer and that's when Harry actually began to tremble. Severus raised his wand. "Don't make me have to force you to stand back. I'll do what I have to for Harry's safety." Snape warned.
"I'd never hurt him!" Sirius glared.
"What do you think you're doing right now?" Severus revealed. "You're making him think you're going to hurt him because it's what he's used to, Black. Anger and someone getting too close means he's going to get hurt. Step back and calm down, or you can leave. I won't have you essentially threatening my son because you're mad that I adopted him."
"Sirius, come on…Just take a few steps back, breathe. Calm down…If you push this, all you're going to do is hurt Harry and send him into a panic attack." Remus informed calmly.
Begrudgingly, Sirius did what he'd been told. Severus lowered his wand and turned his attention to his adopted son. "Harry…It's alright, son…Deep breath," Severus coached as Harry slowly relaxed. "Everything is fine, your godfather wasn't using his brain…He's not going to harm you, no matter what his mood is about the situation. You know I'll protect you as I've always done…" Harry still shook a little.
"Come here, I have you." Severus pulled Harry in and gave him a gentle hug, then patted his shoulders. "Go upstairs and calm down…We'll be right along after I deal with this." Severus told Harry, who nodded and left the basement as Severus turned back to face Sirius and Remus.
"Adoption or not, you've been an outright arse to him since his first year, Snape…Don't get all fatherly-," Sirius began.
"Shut your mouth, Mutt." Severus said firmly, his eyes narrowing.
"Wh-What? You can't talk to me like that. I don't care who you are, Harry is my godson!" Sirius remarked.
"And he is MY SON. Legally. Father trumps godfather, Black." Severus reminded. "Now be quiet while I educate you as you've clearly not learned over the years to mind your temper. I will talk to you however I see fit when it involves my son and before you even try to say that I forced myself into this place, it was Harry's decision. Shut up and sit down or I'll tell you nothing about the situation…Then you can run to the Aurors, the Order, even Dumbledore…But it won't change the adoption. That boy is mine and I'll do whatever I must to protect him, even if it has to be from you."
"Sirius, I believe we have the choice of learning what's happened or being kicked out and removed from Harry's life and not for nothing, I'd like to stay involved...So for once, sit down and be quiet." Remus sat down, then dragged Sirius to sit beside him on the couch. "Hush up, Padfoot…" He warned when Sirius was about to speak again. "Severus, if you would please explain?"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Snape started at Sirius. "Why would you ever allow yourself to get that angry and approach Harry like that?!" He demanded. "He spent years in that muggle house getting abused, Black. And it always started with his uncle getting angry and moving closer to him. Harry knew it meant he was going to get beat or whipped, so he associates all manner of the same thing as he's about to get hurt. You can't do that with Harry."
"No matter how angry you are at the situation. He puts on a very brave face, Sirius, but make no mistake that he's damaged from all those years. He suffers from depression and PTSD, which is the muggle diagnosis of literally never forgetting what he's been through." Severus continued. "The smallest things send him back to that place in his mind where he relives it, panics…Like you saw. He immediately moved away from you out of fear because you're an uncle to him and that's all his uncle ever did."
"It wasn't my best moment and I didn't know he was suffering from that PTSD. He's been away from that house for almost a year now…" Sirius stated.
"It doesn't change the facts, Black. It doesn't change what he went through. Yes, he has a great life now…But you cannot simply just forget the past. Before Hogwarts, Harry suffered being beaten and starved, working hard labor, for eight years. According to Harry, it started when he was about three years old." Severus informed.
"Then he spent his summers from eleven to fourteen years old with more of the same. That's twelve years, Black. Twelve years he suffered abuse by the Dursley's until the night Narcissa and Lucius were at their house because Lucius took over the company the uncle worked for and Narcissa, bless her heart as a mother, heard the sound of a crying child and didn't ignore it." The man went on.
"Together, they got him out and summoned me to help him recover and take guardianship. And I've mentioned to you before, over the Christmas holiday, in fact, that Harry suffers from severe depression."
Sirius looked down. "He admitted it to me, Sirius. Sitting the same distance you are from Remus, Harry admitted to me that he's considered taking his own life more than once because of everything he has to deal with. Not just the abuse, but Voldemort, now Umbridge and Dumbledore. You claim you and Harry are so close but you didn't even know he was gay. You didn't even know the depression he suffers." Severus said.
"Unfortunately, as painful as it will be for you to hear and I know it's not entirely your fault, Sirius…You have not been here for Harry." Severus stated. "But I have been. Even if I was an arse to him…He knew he could trust me to protect him, and that I would help him if he came to me with a legitimate problem or asked my help."
"Severus, I regret every day of my life that I went after Pettigrew instead of taking Harry in the night his parents died. There's nothing I can do to change it now." Sirius mumbled.
"Exactly. You can't change what happened…So don't expect Harry to be able to just get over what happened with him. Everything he went through is still there and anything can trigger flashbacks and nightmares. Did you know he still has nightmares of Cedric Diggory being killed? Still has nightmares about facing the Basilisk in second year, burning Quirrell's face in first year? Still has nightmares of when the dark lord returned to his physical body, still remembers the pain of the Cruciatus curse…" Severus went on.
"What?" Remus and Sirius asked.
"Oh, so you weren't aware?" Severus asked.
"H-Harry never told us he had been under that…" Remus mentioned.
"When was this?" Sirius asked.
"Fourth year…" Lucius interjected. "Right after the dark lord gained his body back. He put Harry under the Cruciatus curse about three times before they dueled."
"Whenever he gets attacked by a dementor, right before he blacks out, he hears his mother's scream from the night she died." Draco added in. "We got into a discussion about how dementors affected him."
"I told him they affect him more than others because he has true horrors in his past that his classmates could only imagine, and he manages to stay so happy, which is what the dementors feed on. Happiness. And Harry stayed strong and happy no matter what. Though this proves he hides so much of it deep down. The sadness and hurt." Remus informed.
"Okay, that one I didn't know. About hearing his mother's screams…But regardless, it's all there, Sirius. How much Harry suffers…He's not okay, but we're all busting our asses to make sure he recovers. If the mind were so easily repaired, the Longbottom's would have been recovered by now after being tortured to insanity." Severus mentioned.
"Yes, there's mind healing…But it can't fix everything. Harry has to be willing to face what he's been through and he's not because it never stops. He's always on guard, waiting for something to happen. Do you know what he told me after admitting his depression back at the beginning of the school year?" Severus asked.
"What?" Sirius questioned.
"He doesn't even hide it. All the people in his life that he sees daily and nobody has ever been able to see past the surface of how much he's actually hurting. That he feels like he's standing in a crowded room, screaming at the top of his lungs and no one even looks up. The night Narcissa heard Harry in his room at the Dursley's, he'd been asking someone, anyone, for help because he couldn't do it anymore and just wanted it to end." Severus informed.
"Now, I'm working with him…I ask whenever I feel like his mood has shifted if he's okay and he's pretty forthcoming about it. Like how when vacation started, he told me that he's fighting with Ron Weasley, who doesn't support him being gay and dating Draco. Told Harry that he had no family because his parents were dead…" Severus remarked.
"Why that little…" Sirius growled.
"Yes, a very low blow and I reminded Harry of just how many people care for and love him. That family isn't always blood…" Severus stated. "Now…I believe I've gotten it through your head why Harry isn't okay, why the past comes back so easily. In the future, if you ever come at him like that again…I'll ban you from the house. As long as Harry is under seventeen, I'm his guardian and legal father and I make the decisions. Am I clear?"
"Yes…" Sirius nodded.
"Can you tell us about the adoption?" Remus asked.
"If that one can keep his mouth shut long enough for the explanation, sure…" Severus warned. Sirius nodded again. "I adopted Harry on the 31st of March to protect him from Albus and because that's just how we see one another." He paused. "And it was a blood adoption."
Sirius and Remus stared with wide eyes.