I know it hs been quite a bit since I have updated this.
Unfortunatedly, I had come to quite a dead-end and didn't quite know where to go with that story anymore, so I did a lot of work on my other stories instead.
I hope you enjoy the solution I came up with though.
The format of this chapter echoes Chapter 25-27, the letters of the summer before, I wanted to at least partly revisit the idea.
Disclaimer: I don't own BSG.
Pen and Paper
From Isabelle Agathon to Laura Roslin, May 1804
Dear Laura,
Thank you so much for the invitation to Caprica, of course we would love to join you! When would it suit you? Maybe in July, when London gets so horribly stuffy and unpleasant? I would long to get out of here by then. Will it be just us or a whole party? I would not mind either, I love spending time with you but you also really know how to entertain.
I must ask though, why did you not talk to me in person before leaving Town? Why did you disappear so quickly? London society keeps wondering my dear.
Of course they all want to hear it from me, and since I am a good friend, I keep telling them it has been planned for month and you simply did not deem it necessary to inform the public. They think you are excetric and a bit arrogant anyway, it does not matter. I also made up some rumour about important work at Caprica. You can thank me appropriately by telling me what is truly the matter with you. It does not by any chance have to do with a certain man? A certain relation I was in some way warning you about? Feelings you are running from?
If it does, I must scold you, my friend, and tell you your situation serves you well. You know I love you with all my heart, but you yourself have been breaking hearts for far too long. Most men deserved it, but there were a couple of good ones in them as well. I believe he is one of them.
Commander Adama keeps snubbing London society currently, he keeps locked up in Kensington. Make of it what you want. I, personally, think he deems putting up with the fuss not worth it if you are not there. A pity for his daughter, though. A least Violet can see her anyway by calling on her, I would hate for her to lose a friend.
Let me know if I can help you in any way.
Yours etc
Isabelle
From Laura Roslin to Isabelle Agathon, May 1804
My dear Izzy,
How are your children and your husband doing? I hope you are all well.
The beginning of July would be a lovely time for you to come. Of course you are welcome to bring the children, and I might invite Isabella as well. I do not think I am in the mood of hosting a whole party, or invite my whole family. However, my dear Richard might come by. I simply cannot deny him these sort of things. I know he is a terrible rascal and flatterer and I have spoilt him, but he is also quite delightful and deserves more attention than his own parents grace him with. Not every mother is as gracious and fair with her love as you or my own have been.
My friend, how can it be that utter joy and utter despair are so close together? It is almost poetic, it seems. Caprica is as beautiful as always, but I feel there is a grey veil above everything. I feel numb, pained, and I do not know what to do about it.
Better even, I know what I could do about it, but something is holding me back, making me unable to do so. It is fear, most likely, but we both already knew that.
You are right, this whole mess serves me well, I played with fire and I got burnt. It is like the men at the gambling tables, throwing away their fortune and their daughters' dowries - only that I was throwing away my heart, it seems. How do I get it back, Isabelle?
I never wanted to hurt him, but I now see that I might have cared to little that I might.
The whole thing makes me think more and more about my Kat. Even though I have never stopped worrying about her, the hwole incident is now fresher in my mind than ever. I know, we have had a silent agreement not to talk about her, and as hard as it is for me to not acknowledge her existence most days, I still think it is the most sensible course of action.
Hertfordshire is very much as it always has been, pleasant but not much to write about. As expected and reported before, my clergyman is still breathing faithfully, but the church needs repairs. There have been a couple of private balls and I have attended most of them and even danced at a couple. Harriet Edmondson is out in society now and becoming quite a bit of a flirt, thankfully Thomas is keeping an eye on her.
I am considering buying two new young mares, I think you would like them. Both very fine little things, they will be only a bit taller than ponies when they grow up and perfect for a carriage. I am also considering getting a foal from Blackbird, but then I would not be able to ride her for such a long time. But there is a gelding here, one of my own, he is now old enough to be broken in. If he does well, I will primarily ride him for now and maybe actually get a little Blackbird after all. We will see.
The crops are growing spectacularly this early summer, I am already looking forward to a very good harvest.
Write soon!
I miss you,
Laura
From Isabelle Agathon to Laura Roslin, May 1804
Dear Laura,
The children and my dearest husband are good and little Lila and Benedict are just the sweetest. I still do not believe in any understanding of my son and Charlotte Valerii, and I sincerely hope it will stay that way. I do not care one bit for the drama and the talk it would cause.
Do not fret, all of London knows how much the Colonel admires you, despite the gall he sometimes has, and the admiration and friendship of a young, capable man is not the worse thing to have. Believe me, I have sons.
Violet will certainly come and visit you with me, though truth be told, I am not sure whether the boys will be able to join us. I hope so, but that hope is very weak indeed. I would be so happy if you were to invite my older daughter with her children as well, I am sure she would love it. She is far too caught up in the house nowadays, a bit of country air will do her well. The girl is becoming too pale, not fashionable but sickly.
Just a couple of months ago, I would have suggested to invite the Adama family as well, but now that seems out of the question, doesn't it Laura?
That feeling, that's what lovesickness is. Since you already chose a change of scenery yourself, I doubt there is much to be done.
You can only choose introspection and then either move on and come back and at least try to rebuild the bridges you have burnt in your merry wake.
I know you love her, after all, I know what she is to you, despite any denial. Which is indeed only another issue in your long line you should think about.
Hertfordshire sounds lovely, we have been at quite a couple of balls recently, but I am not sure whetehr Violet is improving. Maybe a couple of country parties will help. Two of my maids will not stop bickering, I believe I must let go of one of them if it does not stop soon.
Regarding the horses - you love Blackbird so much, so why not let her have a foal? I am sure it would be delightful.
Yours etc.
Isabelle
From Laura Roslin to Isabella Ditton, May 1804
My dear Isabella,
I hope you and your family are faring well and you are enjoying London early summer with all the pleasantries and activities.
Would you grant me the utter pleasure of joining your family and me at Caprica Manor starting July for the rest of the summer? Of course I include your family in this invitation, I would love to spoil your children rotten here in the countryside. I know they have never been here, an oversight on my account, so I am sure it would be an adventure, especially for Lila. Your son is still too little to care about more than his Mama, I suppose.
Of course you would be invited to join any party you like, while there is not much to do in terms of theatre or music, there is still quite a bit to amuse oneself here.
Let me know what you think!
All my love,
your Aunt Laura
From Isabella Ditton to Laura Roslin, May 1804
Dear Aunt Laura,
I hope you are well.
Everyone is speculating why you disappeared so suddenly, Lila is very very cross with said you had planned that all along. But why did you not tell us? We surely would not have told a soul! You certainly must not do this again, please!
Of course we would love to join you, though I am afraid it will likely mostly only be the children and me since my dear husband has to work in Town. You can spoil the little ones as much as you want, but you do not have to - Lila already thinks you are God's greatest creation. I am sure she will love it at Caprica, just as my siblings and I always have. Do you still have the ponies? Do you remember how much I loved the little brown one?
I went to the theatre yesterday, and you will not believe who I saw! Commander Adama with a woman on his arm, a woman who was certainly not his daughter! She could be though, judging by her age, she is probably only half of his. Golden hair, fair skin, and the sweetest smile. I already hear the gossip from London's rooftops. Do you know who she is? After all, the two of you are friends. Could she be a distant relation? Or maybe his daughter-in-law? She was richly dressed, I am quite certain she is from money. That would be the most sensible explanation. I do not believe he would need to marry an heiress, would he?
Write back soon!
All my love,
Isabella
From Laura Roslin to William Adama, May 1804
Dear Bill,
I am sorry. Truly, I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did, because I was careless. I was careless with both of us, but especially with you. But I was also scared. Of course you already knew that, and I do not think it makes it any better.
It is selfish, but I do not want you to be with someone else. I want you to be with me. Which, in retrospect, means I want to be with you, right?
So, I still do not know how to do this, even though I want to. Sometimes wanting is not enough, I am afraid.
There is still so much you do not know, about me, about my life, about my family. But maybe you already know? Most of London does, so why did you never asked? Does it bother you too much, or doesn't it bother you at all? And you are so honourable, and I am not sure whether you -
I just
- The letter was never sent -
From Laura Roslin to Isabella Ditton, May 1804
Dear Isabella,
I am sorry, I promise next time I will tell you in advance. Please pass on my apologies to Lila as well. I am so glad you will join us. Any time in July is absolutely agreeable, just let me know the date.
Of course I remember you and Daffie. Unfortunately, she is not among the living anymore, after having a fulfilled long life, but I have two cream-coloured ponies fairly similar that I am sure Lila will like. As I have told your mother, I recently bought two new little horses, they are still too spunky for the children I suppose, but you might want to drive the carriage when you are here, if you want a quick excursion.
Unfortunately, I cannot tell you who you saw the Commander with, I am not privy to this information. But he is a widowed and highly-decorated man, it stands to reason he is looking for another wife, though he would not need to from the aspect of wealth, as far as I know. Please tell me if anything interesting happens. I love the lack of pretentiousness here, but with regard to gossip, Hertforshire is very dull in comparison to Town.
All my love,
your Aunt Laura
From Laura Roslin to Isabelle Agathon, May 1804
My dear Izzy,
I have invited Isabella, and she agreed to come with the children as well, but you probably already know that.
Now, what have you not be telling me about the Commander? I have to scold you very much indeed!
Your daughter wrote me the most vexful thing, apparently I have been easily replaced by someone younger and prettier and he is openly parading her around. I hardly doubt Lee would leave a potential wife alone in London, so she must be of his interest. I could not make anything out of the description, so maybe she is not from here?
Oh, this is all quite tragic.
Write back soon, please.
In agony,
Laura
From Isabelle Agathon to Laura Roslin, May 1804
Dear Laura,
I did not know about this when composing my last letter. Now I have made some inquiries, and though they will pain you, I do not think I have any right to withhold them from you.
Her name is Lucy Charles, and you will likely not know her thus, but you might remember her as Lucy Benington, daughter of Robert Benington, from a couple of years ago. She made quite a ruckus when she entered London society due to her beauty and wit and education and a dowry of 8.000 pounds on top. Then she disappeared. As it turned out, she married Martin Charles from the Midlands. He had made good money in trade and speculations and improved his station through her money and investment even further, ut due to his rather unfortunate birth, they never really re-entered society. Actually, she is the reason why your Kat got away fairly cleanly. It distracted all of London from the trouble that stubborn girl made, even though she and Lucy are quite two birds of one feather.
Be it as it may, Lucy's husband is dead and her parents, devout Christians, think she has repented enough by losing her love, so they helped her to come back. I am not sure how she met the Commander, but they seemed more intimately acquainted, though not improper, but it was clear that he was the recipient of all her smiles that evening.
She is indeed very beautiful, barely touching her third decade of life, like a golden rose. Whether she is more beautiful than you though is always a question of perspective.
He seemed facinated by her, though why exactly I am not sure. Maybe he feels flattered, he is a man after all.
While I would love to visit you in July, maybe you should come back and see for yourself. If he is what you want. If he is not, let him be happy.
Yours
Isabelle
From Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam to Laura Roslin, June 1804
Dearest Aunt,
I am afraid I have to report dreadful news to you.
After you arranged my invitation to the hunting party close to St Andrews I spent a couple of generally very pleasant weeks in Scotland around the area. The game was plentiful and the majority of chaps fairly delightful, though I must say his lordship does indeed think very highly of himself. Aunt, why did you not tell me before about Mr Hemingway's incredibly charming daughters who joined us? It really took me by surprise and kept me from making my best first impression. Which is a shame, since Ellie Hemingway has a dowry of 10.000 pounds and not a penny less! Mama will likely have a word with you about it.
Of course I did not forget the original reason for my trip and I made my inquiries all around, as far as I could. That included Edinburgh, of course. There has not been much talk at all, gossip has been awfully quiet, and no recent talk matched a woman by the description of Kat. Nobody knows a Laura Katherine Roslin, or Foxcombe, or any version of that name. However, some pub owner in an area of town I would rather not talk to you about remembers a lady called Kitty Bellringer who apparently stayed there with her husband quite a while before. When I showed him the miniature you gave me, he saw a certain similarity, but could not quite remember whether it was her. After I gave him a couple of pounds, his memory improved considerably, and he knew to tell me that she had indeed lived there for a couple of weeks. She seemed in good health back then. Unfortunately, the woman, who seems to have been Kat, and that corresponding man whom the pub owner descibed as a rather unpleasant, surly, and strangely sickly fellow, moved on months ago. They never said whereto, but he thought they wanted to go south again, for the climate, since the man was not well.
So, you see, I have done everything I could. I turned around every stone. Apparently, if there is any trace at all, it leads back south.
I hope you can forgive me for staying on a bit further in Scotland, dear aunt. While fortune did not favour me in the case of Ellie Hemingway, it might do so now with Miss Linton of Cloverfield Park. Wish me luck.
Your obedient servant etc.
Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam
From Isabelle Agathon to Laura Roslin, June 1804
Laura,
You need to come back.
We were invited at a dinner party at the Adamas last night, and Lee Adama had invited a young widow he had met in London while shopping.
Apparently he had taken a liking to her after chatting for a while, and to be polite, she had agreed to come.
When she came in, I almost froze in shock. I am almost certain that I have found Kat.
That woman, she has your eyes, and very certainly your mother's lips. The nose however is fully fully Fitzwilliam, I bet you only have to put the Colonel next to her to see the resemblance. I am sure if she were to smile - which she does not seem to do - she would have Jamie's and your smile.
She seems to have fallen on hard times, if her clothing is any indication, and is currently employed as a companion to a girl of reasonably good station. Of course she is a good conversationalist and an excellent Piquet player, if a little bit brash. She keeps butting heads with Miss Thrace, though seems to have a favour for Violet and is distant but very polite to the gentlemen.
I would call on her, if you would like, but I am afraid of spooking her.
What am I supposed to do?
Isabelle