Chapter 9 - Run When You Hear That Sound (TPM)
Author's Note: A certain, familiar, tiny face shows up. ;)
~ Amina Gila
Anakin and I walk through the halls, trailing after Obi-Wan. I look around the halls, trying to take in all the sights at once, but there's far too much for me to keep track of, between the countless halls, doorways, and staircases, and the endless, towering pillars. I knew the Temple was big, but I didn't ever imagine it would be this huge. Even the very walls of the building radiate with a completely different sensation than everything else. Here it's pretty much pure light and calm, even though it's buzzing with life. Everywhere else, or at least at the place we were staying at earlier, is full of life but there certainly is no such sense of calm. It could also be the people, but I kept picking up traces of far darker emotions than here.
Finally, Obi-Wan comes to a stop in a large hall with several stairs going up to a large doorway. Qui-Gon is waiting nearby, and a slight motion draws my attention to a much smaller, orange figure waiting nearby. For some reason, the very sight of her pulls at something in my heart, and I want to forget everything else and run to her. She seems familiar... and then, those brilliant blue eyes, which I remember far too well, raise to look at me. No. It can't be, can it?
My heartbeat picks up, icy nervousness and excitement coiling up in my heart.
"Ashla," Obi-Wan's voice catches my attention, pulling me back to reality. Right. I'm supposed to be going into the Council room, to be tested. "You're going to go first. Remember to stay calm." The doors slide open and Obi-Wan motions for me to come with him. I force myself not to look back at the suspiciously familiar figure still waiting in the hall, lest I run to her anyway, and slowly walk after the Jedi into the large room.
My eyes widen as I take in the scene. There are a dozen people sitting in a semi-circle in front of a very large window. I don't recognize any of the species aside from that of a dark-skinned human, who is sitting in the center of the circle, and a Togruta sitting much farther down. A Togruta? Maybe they are commonly Jedi after all...
Obi-Wan practically peels me out from behind him to face the Council. I struggle to remember what it was he'd told me earlier. Oh, right. Stay calm. Except I'm facing a dozen strange creatures who I've never seen in my life, and I know they're supposed to be good people, but that doesn't mean I'm not nervous. What if I do something stupid so they don't want me, just like everyone else? What if they don't accept Anakin, for some reason? What if they hurt me? Good people don't hurt other people though... right?
Obi-Wan bows, and I clumsily follow suit, not daring to raise my gaze from the floor. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to dispel the nervous feelings. I cling onto his presence as if letting go would be fatal. "This is Ashla Tano, one of the children we found on Tatooine," Obi-Wan introduces me. I mentally offer a million thanks. I don't think I'd be able to get a word out of myself right now.
Wait. Tano? How does he know that? I don't even know my last name. He must have found out somehow, and I hardly even know how to feel about that. I know my name now, my full name. Ashla Tano. I don't remember it, but it – it feels right.
The Council all turn their gazes back to me, and the only thing that stops me from inching over to hide behind Obi-Wan again is when he lays a calming hand on my shoulder. I can almost hear him telling me to stay calm, even though he doesn't speak. I somehow manage to force myself to raise my head and look up at the Council members, an outer sensation of calmness suddenly brushing me. I need to stay calm. At least pretend to be calm, right?
I've seen things like this before. Slaves brought to the center of a group of people to be looked over before being sold. Show no weakness. If they see weakness, you're useless to them. I do my best to stand straight and try not to cling to Obi-Wan too much, even if I just want to throw myself into his arms and scream 'get me out of here.'
The human, dark-skinned Council member is talking, but I hardly make sense of what he's saying. It's something to the same effect as Obi-Wan was earlier, I think. He finally pulls out a viewing screen, and while I don't really understand the nature of the test, I already know I have to succeed.
Obi-Wan starts moving away from me – probably to stand in the doorway – but I react instantly, grabbing onto his robes, looking up at him with a half-panicked 'don't leave me' expression. I can't help but flinch, knowing I definitely overstepped my boundaries this time and – and – He sighs but doesn't move to disentangle me, just letting me cling to him. I force myself to let go anyway. I can't let these people – this Council – know how scared I am.
The sun is approaching the horizon in the background, the light turning golden. It's always a calming sight, so I try to focus on that and how I know Anakin is right outside the door, and if he and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are here, I should be fine... right? Closing my eyes, I try to let myself simply feel. It's largely instinctive, but I know it's what I have to do, because it's what they're telling me to do.
The strong energy of the first is surprisingly easy to pinpoint. "Ship," I state immediately, remembering the thrill of taking off despite the seriousness of the creature attacking us.
"Pod race," I add again as the familiar excitement mixed with concern hits me. Has it really been only a day since Anakin won? It could have been a year ago. I go through several more things before the human Council member finally shuts off the viewing screen, turning to the much shorter, green figure beside him.
"Good, good, young one," he says, tone portraying a note of kindness I'm not at all used to. His eyes are yellow green, staring at me, almost seeing through me. From what they were saying earlier, I think he'd said his name was Yoda. Strange name for a strange creature... and what species is that, anyway? "How feel you?"
"Um..." I trail off, hardly sure how to answer the question. It's not one I'm used to hearing from anyone but Anakin and Shmi. Is this some sort of test? They'll want me to answer honestly. "Nervous?" I offer, then flinch again. I shouldn't have said that. That's not what he's asking. Why would he care how I feel emotionally?
Over the last few days, I've lost everything, but I still have hope. Hope that I'll find Ahsoka, hope for a better future for both of us. Hope for a life of freedom. But part of me is afraid they'll reject me, or maybe even Anakin. Possibly both.
"Afraid, are you?" asks Master Yoda.
"No," I reply instantly. I'm pretty sure that's the right answer. They're supposed to be good, but it's not like I know what Jedi are like. It's a lie. I am scared. I'm afraid they won't accept us. I want Anakin here. I want him beside me. Shmi's gone, and I don't think we'll ever see her again. These people are staring at me, trying to gauge something, as if seeing through me. If they see anything wrong with me, they won't want me.
"She's just shy," offers Obi-Wan suddenly. My gaze snaps up to him. Thank you. I didn't really want to begin explaining my mental status to the Council, especially when I hardly understand it myself half the time. Especially since then I know they would think I'm weak. "She has a hard time around... strangers."
"Then continue we will," decides Master Yoda, but he doesn't seem to happy about Obi-Wan speaking, for whatever reason.
A few minutes later, I find myself exiting the Council chambers with Obi-Wan. I breathe a huge sigh of relief at finally being away from so many people. It was like some weird form of interrogation of one of those auctions so many of our close friends have been sold at. All the ones who haven't been killed, that is.
"Thanks," I whisper to Obi-Wan, before my eyes fall on the same orange figure I spotted earlier. She's a Togruta, a little younger than me. I stop in my tracks as a familiar presence hits me, one I haven't felt since leaving Shili years ago. "Ahsoka?"
She turns instantly to look at me. I was right. It's her. Ahsoka. She's here. For a moment, I forget how to breathe.
"We found your sister," Anakin informs me cheerfully, grinning. I barely spare him a glance, but I hear him disappear into the Council room. I'm distracted to the point I don't even think to warn him about how probing the Council is.
"Ashla?" Ahsoka asks finally, about as disbelieving as I feel. Maybe almost doubtful. Not surprising. She never knew me. She's just guessing based on my reaction. It's then that I painfully realize that I've missed so much of her life. Finally, almost of their own accord, my feet take me heading towards her. I pull her into a hug, taking a seat next to her. She hugs me back after a moment, though slightly awkwardly.
"I knew you'd be here," I insist, switching to our native language, Togruti. It's almost strange to talk in it after so long. Anakin knows a little, because I can never keep straight what language I talk in, and for as long as it's been. I still remember a little. Enough to talk. Better than Basic, anyway.
"I knew I'd find you," she offers, smiling, though slightly shy. She reminds me a lot of myself at that age. "Our parents..." A stab of pain hits me as I realize what they must feel like. They lost both of us, and we're probably never going to see them again. I hardly know how to act now that I finally have a younger sibling to take care of. "Where were you?" Ahsoka suddenly demands.
"Tatooine?" I supply lamely. "I met Ani there."
"He's annoying." From Ahsoka's expression, I can hardly tell which kind.
"He's great!" I correct. "He took care of me there. And he won the Pod race!"
"Pod race?" Ahsoka repeats. "What's that?"
I glance down the hall to see the older two Jedi standing at a balcony a distance away, having left us alone to our sister bonding time. There's something almost surreal about seeing them standing together like that, silhouettes against the setting Coruscant sun. "The boy will not pass the Council's tests, Master. He is far too old," I hear Obi-Wan saying, making me frown instantly. That's exactly what I was afraid of. Maybe that's why he was acting so different towards Anakin; because he thinks he's too old. I don't understand. Why would it matter?
"Anakin will become a Jedi, I promise you." I let out a sigh of relief. Good. Then there's nothing for me to worry about. If Qui-Gon says he'll make sure of it, I know he will.
"Don't defy the Council, Master. Not again," Obi-Wan sighs with a faint note of frustration.
"Ashla?" Ahsoka prods. Oh, right. I'd almost forgotten.
"It's a type of racing," I answer my sister, unable to help feeling the rush of emotion at having her beside me. I feel so much lighter now than I have in my entire life. It's a sense of calm completely foreign to me, and I instantly feel protective over her. It's a feeling of lightness hard to describe, but I instantly know nothing will ever be able to separate us. Bring Anakin into this, and the three of us will make an inseparable sibling trio. And for the first time in my life since I was taken from Shili, I feel completely whole, like the part of me that went missing then is finally back again.
"Ani's my best friend," I inform her after a few moments of silence. "You'll love him." Then another thought crosses my mind. "Did you just come here?"
"I did," Ahsoka confirms cheerfully. "Right after Skyguy's done, I'll be taken to where I'm staying."
"Skyguy?" I repeat, staring at her for a moment before bursting into giggles. Just what did Anakin do that annoyed her enough to start calling him something that horrific?
Our conversation is interrupted when Anakin steps out of the room, looking like he's practically fleeing but trying not to let it show. I wince, remembering I really should have told him. He hurries towards us, then pauses when he realizes Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan aren't in his line of sight. "Where's Qui-Gon?" he asks.
I point down the hall, releasing another string of giggles. I can't help it. It's too funny.
I don't miss the expression that flashes across his face for the briefest moment, something which painfully reminds me of how I must have looked after seeing him and Padme the first time. No. No way is he going to feel like that. I'd die before forgetting him. I can't bring myself to stand up from my position next to Ahsoka, though.
Just then, the doors slide open again, and the two Jedi hurry back towards us. "The Council has made their decision. Ani, Ashla, come," Qui-Gon says. I scramble to my feet, glancing back at Ahsoka when she gives me a dejected look.
"I'll be back," I assure her, then hurry after the other three into the room again.
The sun has set, and twilight is slowly covering the planet. It's nothing like what I'm used to on Tatooine, but in many ways, it's far more beautiful. It has the same mesmerizing colors, especially from out the windows in the Temple when we're high enough to see above much of the rest of the city. The towering buildings stand out against the orange skyline, slowly fading out to the dark nighttime sky. Despite the darkness, it remains very light, countless lights dotting the city. It's not exactly my idea of a home, but it's still not unwelcoming.
"Correct you were, Qui-Gon," Master Yoda says. Anakin and I are standing in front of the Jedi Master as he stands in the center of the room, Obi-Wan at his side and a couple feet behind.
"Their cells contain a high concentration of midi-chlorians, though the boy's are much higher," Windu continues. I shift impatiently. I want them to get to the point already. I just want to know what their decision is.
"The Force is strong with them," the Jedi with a very tall head on Windu's other side says.
"They are to be trained, then," Qui-Gon states as a way of confirmation.
They exchange glances. "The girl will be," Windu replies. It's as if a crushing weight is taken off my chest. They didn't reject me. Obi-Wan catches my relieved expression and his own softens a little.
"And Anakin?" Qui-Gon presses, reminding me that they hadn't guaranteed anything for him yet.
There is a heartbeat of silence, then – "No. He will not be trained."
The shock hits me first. The realization that after years of hope, Anakin's dream was denied. That everything he went through up until this point was purposeless. And how could I move on and become a Jedi if Anakin can't? Even if Ahsoka will be, after everything Anakin did for me, how could I abandon him? And how could the Council do this? I thought they were supposed to be caring, compassionate... so why? All of it is too much for my five-year-old mind to comprehend.
All the time I've known Anakin, I've only seen him cry once, back when we were leaving Tatooine, and he was saying his final goodbye to Shmi. And when I see his eyes filling with tears at the same realization as me, knowing that leaving Shmi had all been for nothing – and here he is now, with the only thing that he ever cares about, that's ever mattered to him being ripped away – something inside me just snaps.
"WHAT?" My shriek rings through the room, nearly drowning out Qui-Gon stunned but much more decent response. I should be afraid of how they will react. It's not in my place to speak, but right now, I just can't care. I'm way, way too angry, even if I know the dangers that speaking out of turn can have.
"He is too old," Windu replies coolly, completely unfazed. "There is already too much anger in him."
"He is the Chosen One. You must see it!" Qui-Gon protests angrily.
"Clouded, this boy's future is. Masked by his youth," Master Yoda explains, a tinge of regret in his voice.
I glance at Anakin's hurt expression, and I know what I have to do, even if it kills me. I remember how he felt earlier, and I know he needs nothing more than to know that I won't leave him no matter what the cost. That I'll always choose him over everyone. And I try not to think about how much this will hurt Ahsoka. "I not be trained unless Ani is," I decide with finality. I want to yell at them, to make them see how unfair and unjust this decision is. Anakin just gave up everything and risked his life for his friends in the past few days. It speaks to multitudes exactly how selfless he is.
Anakin's gaze darts to me, surprise flickering in his expression.
"Passionate, she is," the green Jedi says, looking at me. His voice is deep and grating, and I don't think he sounds happy, though I can't really tell. "A strong attachment, she has. Not the qualities of Jedi, these are."
"Ashla is five years old," Qui-Gon interjects, "She was a slave. It's natural for her to be protective. She would have died had she not fought back, but she is young. She can learn."
Finally, someone who understands and cares for us. I can't even say how that makes me feel. Qui-Gon doesn't know us, but he's so willing to fight for us if he has to.
Qui-Gon's expression morphs into determination, like he's also made a decision, even if it's one that he may not like. "And as for the boy, I will train him, then. I take Anakin as my Padawan learner." He pulls Anakin over to stand in front of him.
I notice the frustrated hurt flashing through Obi-Wan's expression, and it's a moment before I realize why. Of course. Qui-Gon just chose Anakin over him, since Obi-Wan isn't a Knight yet. I don't blame him, though. I just made a similar decision myself, choosing Anakin over Ahsoka. But it might not have to be that way. I look back up at the Jedi Master, making a mental note to attempt talking to the padawan about it later. He doesn't deserve to be caught in the middle of this.
We all have to make impossible choices sometime. I just did.
"An apprentice you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible to take on a second," Yoda replies.
"We forbid it," Windu says in the same cold, emotionless tone. As I look at him, I can't help but think maybe all Jedi aren't what I always thought. He shouldn't be acting like this after taking away my best friend's future.
"Obi-Wan is ready," Qui-Gon replies.
"I am ready to face the Trials," Obi-Wan says with certainty, stepping forwards.
"Ready so early, are you? What know you of ready?" Yoda dismisses the claim, looking back at his master as he and Obi-Wan exchange glares. What are they so upset about anyway? I can't help but feel rather uncomfortable. Before now, they were getting along fine, and it was obvious even to me that they were very close. Not even Anakin and I fight like that in the rare times we get mad at each other.
"He's headstrong, and he has much to learn about the living Force, but he is capable. There is little more he will learn from me."
"Our own council we will keep on who is ready. More to learn, he has," insists Yoda.
"Now is not the time for this," interjects Windu finally. "The Senate is voting for a new Supreme Chancellor." What? Why?! "Queen Amidala is returning home, which will put pressure on the Federation, and could widen the confrontation."
"And draw out the Queen's attacker," Master Yoda adds. The mention sends a shiver running down my spine. I still don't know what that creature was, but I'd be lying if I claimed I wasn't scared to death of it.
"Events are moving fast, too fast," says the Jedi Master on Windu's other side, the one with a very tall head. I couldn't possibly agree more. I'm struggling to come to terms with everything, and I still can't believe that they really decided that Anakin can't ever become a Jedi. It's plainly unfair.
"Go with the Queen to Naboo and discover the identity of the dark warrior." Dark Warrior? So, that's what they call the creature? "That is the clue we need to unravel his mystery of the Sith."
"Young Skywalker's fate will be decided later," Master Yoda concludes.
"I brought Anakin here. He must stay in my charge. He has nowhere else to go," Qui-Gon argues. A prickle of concern hits me at the sudden realization. I'm supposed to be trained, but Anakin... what will happen to me, then?
"He is your ward, Qui-Gon. We will not dispute that. The girl can stay with you as well, until their fate has been decided," Master Windu decides.
"Train him not," Yoda warns. "Take him with you but train him not!"
"Protect the Queen, but do not intercede if it comes to war until we have the Senate's approval," the dark-skinned Jedi orders.
"May the Force be with you," Master Yoda concludes.
Obi-Wan bows, and Anakin and I do a moment later. I vaguely notice that Qui-Gon doesn't, instead staring defiantly at them. Interesting. They must not get along, not that that's a surprise. I'm confused now, because the way the Jedi are acting is completely opposite of how they've always been portrayed as. How does that make any sense? Qui-Gon is amazing. He's perfect. Why aren't they?
"You will be a Jedi, Ani," I promise the moment we leave the Council chambers. He doesn't say anything, remaining staring fixedly at the floor. I hate seeing him like this, and I hate even more how strangely helpless I feel. It's always the other way around, and I frankly have no idea how to make him feel better.
Ahsoka is still waiting outside and looks up at the sound of my voice. She waves cheerfully, then grows serious at our expressions. "What's wrong?" she asks in Togruti.
I glance at Anakin, remembering he can't understand us. "They don't want to train Ani," I tell her in our language.
"What?" she squeaks, horrified and outraged.
"We're going to Naboo," I continue. "And after that... I don't know."
By the time I'm done talking, Ahsoka is glaring. "That's mean," she declares flatly, switching to Basic so Anakin can understand.
"We need to hurry," Qui-Gon reminds me, drawing my attention back to him and Obi-Wan, who haven't said a single word to each other the entire time. I frown slightly at the hostility, but don't mention it. Maybe I can talk to them about it once we get on the ship. After having a private talk with Anakin, of course. He matters far more than anyone.
"We come back," I promise Ahsoka, giving her a quick hug.
She's frowning slightly, but glances over at Anakin. "Bye, Skyguy!" she offers.
He looks up, and I see the faintest flicker of amusement. "Bye... Snips." I choke back laugher before suddenly remembering the situation again and the feeling of heaviness returns. Glancing back at Ahsoka one last time, I hurry down the halls with Anakin after the other Jedi.
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