Sasuke walks out of the village after leaving Sakura's apartment. Seeing her cry because of him makes him regret that he came home that night. He regrets coming back to the village in the first place. She didn't deserve this. She was perfectly happy when he was away. He judged Toshi hardly, but he is no better.
That night he keeps thinking about the things he showed her. He didn't think he still remembered it all so clearly. It was like pulling on a string, after the first memory the others all came crashing onto him at once. These events, that happened over the span of a decade and that took him years to come to terms with, she saw them all in a second. All these feelings that he had to learn to accept, these scenes that haunted him at night, this pain that is still burning, he inflicted them upon her out of the blue. His chest is torn with disgust for himself.
Aoda has stopped asking Sasuke why he keeps summoning him out of nowhere to talk about his too-big feelings, but he still seems surprised to see him lying motionless in the grass in the middle of the night, dramatically wrapped in his black cloak like a giant insect in a chrysalis.
"Master Sasuke?"
"... I did something bad."
"Are you going back to jail?"
Maybe he should. He would stop traumatizing Sakura if he were in jail.
"What do you do when you regret doing something?" Sasuke asks.
"Once I ate a rat that was too large and it made me sick and I regretted it a lot. You should feel better in a few days once you have digested the rat."
The irrelevant advice doesn't shake Sasuke's torpor. "I hurt Sakura again."
"Why?"
"Because I was hurt."
"And she couldn't heal you?"
"I wasn't physically injured, I was… upset."
How humiliating it is to admit out loud that he lost his temper and made her cry simply because he was frustrated.
"Does she only heal physical wounds?" Aoda asks.
"... Yeah." Does she really?
"She was still upset because of the things I did and because I left. And now I've made it worse."
"Is this why you left the village tonight?"
"Maybe I shouldn't go back."
It would be much easier. He wouldn't have to face her again, she would carry on with her life without him. With enough time and distance, he would surely forget the feeling in his chest that always makes him eager to come back to her.
"She is upset because you left and you want to leave again?" Aoda asks.
"I don't know."
"Maybe you should talk to her and not to me?"
Sasuke rolls to his side and pulls his cloak higher over himself. He hates when Aoda tells him things he already knows.
He goes back to Sakura's apartment in the morning. He knocks several times but no one answers. He doesn't want to let himself in with his key if she doesn't want to see him. She's probably at work.
The apartment remains silent in the evening and he spends a second night outside wrapped in his cloak.
The next day Naruto joins him in the Hokage's office while he is waiting for Kakashi and aggressively pushes him to the side.
"What did you do?" Naruto hisses reproachfully, his face only inches away from Sasuke's. He looks genuinely mad and Sasuke flinches.
"What?"
"Hinata said Sakura was crying at work yesterday."
Sasuke's heart tightens. He knew what he did was bad but it's even worse to know that Sakura was still crying about it the next day and that other people noticed. He cannot bring himself to explain his mistake to Naruto. He is so mad at himself that he hasn't slept a minute the night before and now he is particularly irritable. "So what?" he asks.
"When she cries it's always because of you!"
"That's not true."
"So it wasn't you?"
Sasuke looks away.
"See!" Naruto snaps in frustration.
"I didn't mean to make her cry."
"What a progress!"
Sasuke is not used to Naruto being sarcastic. It's not a good feeling.
"Fix it!" Naruto says angrily.
"How?"
"You're the one with the brain, you figure it out."
Kakashi opens the door and walks in just as Naruto finishes speaking. "Something wrong?" he asks.
"Yes," Naruto says.
"No," Sasuke cuts in before Kakashi can ask, and he can feel Naruto's glare on him even when he avoids his gaze.
He waits after knocking at the door of her apartment again in the evening. This time he is sure that she is home. He picked up takeout on his way there in hopes it'd make the talk easier but his confidence is crumbling.
"Sakura?..." he calls through the door.
He could come in but he gives her the choice not to open. After a moment the handle turns and Sakura opens the door. She looks at him without a word.
"I went to the hospital, they said you were home," he says.
She shrugs. "You have a key."
She looks less angry than he expected. Instead she seems sad and tired. It feels worse, in a way.
He walks in behind her. He puts the bag of takeout he was holding on the table and they both look at it. He can see that she is not impressed. It does look quite a miserable excuse now that he sees it between them.
She looks back at him, waiting for him to talk. He takes a moment to think about his words and find the courage to say them. He should have thought about what to say earlier. Why is it so hard?
"I shouldn't have shown you… that," he starts abruptly. "It was a mistake."
Sakura doesn't move or say anything. He hoped she would help him with this conversation but she is not giving any sign of making it easier. Somehow he'd have preferred it if she had screamed at him.
"I wish I could take it back," he says. "… I'm sorry."
She stares at him in silence for a long moment and he cannot tell if she will cry or kick him out.
She does neither. Her shoulders drop and she pulls out a kitchen chair to sit down with a quiet sigh. She looks up at him again. "How much of it was real?" she asks.
He wasn't expecting this question. Something so gruesome, she thinks it can't be real, it has to be an illusion.
"It was all memories."
Sakura remains quiet for long seconds again. He wishes he could tell what she is thinking but her face doesn't let anything through. "I didn't…" she says. "I didn't think that-"
"That it was that bad?" he cuts in despite himself.
Sakura looks down.
"It's over now," he says quietly.
"You were right, I had no idea…"
He shakes his head. "You didn't have to know. It doesn't excuse anything. I shouldn't have done that."
She still seems thoughtful. After a moment she speaks again. "You don't- You don't hate him, do you?"
From the look of concern in her eyes he knows she's not talking about Toshi.
"... No."
"How?"
He doesn't even know himself. It's too complicated to explain with words. Even in his darkest moments, even at the very end of their fight, it was not hate that he felt for his brother. Even years later, he still doesn't completely understand.
"Can I show you something?" he asks.
She hesitates. She probably doesn't want to see any more horror.
"Something nice," he adds.
She nods and looks him in the eyes.
Sakura braces herself for the feeling of seeing the world through Sasuke's eyes, but it comes much softer than the first time.
He is outside by the river, where the forest opens on the water on the border of the village. The atmosphere is incredibly warm and quiet. She feels the caress of the sun of a late summer afternoon on his skin. The sky is turning pink and orange over the horizon, and the sound of the river is refreshing. The smell of the dry grass and the trees and the scent of the dust under his feet that has been in the sun all day surround her. Sasuke's knees are scratched and his clothes dirty. Through him, she feels the good exhaustion that comes after a satisfying day of training outside. He is tired but happy and proud of his progress. In front of him, Itachi smiles. He looks nothing like the cold assassin he was in the other memories. He kneels for Sasuke to climb on his back, and Sakura feels a wave of trust, of love, and affection that is almost too big for her heart to take. Itachi picks Sasuke up easily and heads back home. Her chest is filled with warmth and innocent happiness, with nothing but the joy and enthusiasm of a young kid. The contrast makes the pain of the other memories ten times worse.
When he lets her come back to herself, Sakura is stunned. She had no idea he had feelings so pure and so beautiful in him. That he could be so vulnerable. It seemed impossible that he still had such a deep love for someone who destroyed his family, but now she understands. For an instant she can believe that Uchiha feel love more strongly than other people.
She needs a few seconds to find her words. When she looks up at him again his eye is black.
"I thought… you needed to see the whole picture," he says.
Sakura struggles to speak again. "Thank you for showing me."
"Sorry I showed you the other things."
She sighs and hides her face in her hands. She doesn't know what to think anymore. It is so unlike him to apologize and open up like this. It is like it's easier for him to share his thoughts by showing her than with his words. She tries to still resent him and stand her ground but her heart is horribly soft. She cannot help but think that he looks genuinely sorry. She knows she's being too weak with him, once again, but she's tired of calculating her every move. She's exhausted. She wants to forget about it all and move on. She wants to find their simple routine again.
She removes her hands from her face. "Please don't do it again without asking me."
"I won't."
She has no reason to trust him but she does anyway. She looks at the crumpled bag of takeout that is still on the table in front of them. She stands up to open it and check the food boxes inside. "What did you get?"
"Noodles from the new place. The extra spicy ones."
She gives him a faint smile. "Did you get something for yourself?"
He nods. "There's a bowl of rice at the bottom."
The situation in the following days is not perfect but it's normal enough that Sasuke feels that he can sleep in his bedroom again without making Sakura uncomfortable. Their relationship does feel different but they both go on with their daily occupations and pretend that it's fine. They are very good at that now.
He had feared that her attitude toward him would change after seeing his memories. That she would want to talk about it, that she would bring it up to try and explain everything, that she would try and analyze each memory, as he did himself for so long, hoping to find a way to fix it. He feared she would pity him or be angry on his behalf. He had always thought that anyone hearing this story would feel repulsed. That they would hate his brother, that they would be disgusted by him for being a part of something so twisted.
But Sakura doesn't do any of this. She doesn't talk about it. He can feel how differently she looks at him when they come across each other, but she doesn't mention it again. She knows, and he knows that she knows, and it's enough.
They both carry on with their regular shifts and missions. They eat together almost every time they are home at the same time now. He tries to bring food when he knows she will be home, in a not-so-subtle attempt to make amends. Sakura doesn't complain.
Sasuke forgets about Toshi. The talk he had with Sakura has eclipsed other details of their fight, including how it originally started. He doesn't expect he will ever see him again and is very happy with this idea.
That's why when he opens the door of the apartment and finds himself towering over Toshi on the doorstep again, he almost closes the door back on him immediately. He hoped that he had scared him enough that he wouldn't come back to Sakura's apartment, but it seems that Toshi, on top of being a rude idiot, also lacks the slightest hint of survival instinct. Seeing him makes Sasuke go sour instantly, even more so since Sakura seems to be getting ready to go out with him, and Sasuke cannot understand how she is willing to see him again after what happened. Then again, Sakura lets him sleep in her apartment despite all the things he has done, so he is not in the best position to judge her indulgence toward Toshi. He holds back any comment not to repeat their argument, but he cannot hide his foul mood.
"Is Sakura home?" Toshi asks as he carefully avoids Sasuke's eyes.
"No," Sasuke lies shamelessly.
"I'm right here," Sakura shouts from her bedroom. "I'll be ready in a minute!"
Sasuke looks Toshi up and down again. He regrets that he didn't let Sakura punch the life out of him on her doorstep. He contemplates the idea for a moment as silence stretches between them.
"... Do you want to come in for a cup of tea?" he eventually asks, slowly.
Sakura rushes up to him and grabs her purse by the door. She gives him a dark glare and he knows that she's aware of what he was thinking.
"We don't have time for tea," she says, and she shakes her head but he is sure that he can see the shadow of a smile in her expression. "What's wrong with you?..." she whispers, lower, just for him. Sasuke shrugs innocently and his attitude makes Sakura smile even more. She avoids his gaze and grabs the door handle. "Don't wait up for me," she says as she closes the door behind herself.
Sasuke doesn't usually do that, waiting up for her. He is used to her coming and going at all hours and he knows that she's strong enough to defend herself at night. And yet. He knows that Sakura already had several bad dates with Toshi. He lies awake in his bed longer than usual. He rolls on his side and pulls the comforter over himself. He closes his eyes to sleep but he cannot stop wondering when she will come home. He tries not to imagine her in bed with Toshi. He makes himself upset imagining it anyway. A remote noise comes from the street, briefly disturbing the night, and he catches himself worrying that Sakura might have had a problem. He shifts to lie on his back again. It's ridiculous, she is easily capable of defending herself if anyone causes her trouble.
It's almost one in the morning when Sasuke hears the front door open and close, and his heart jumps in his chest. He listens to the familiar noises of Sakura taking off her shoes and dropping her bag in the living room. He is unreasonably relieved that she didn't spend the night with Toshi. He follows the soft sound of her bare feet to the bathroom, and finally, just a few minutes later, the door to her bedroom slides open and closed. He listens for a few more minutes and doesn't hear anything else. She must have gotten into bed straight away. His chest feels lighter now that he knows that she's home. He turns on his side and quickly falls asleep.
He only sees her again two days later, when he comes home late at night after staying out to eat. She is at the kitchen table, bent over a map that he immediately recognizes. It's the northern region of the Land of Fire, where he spent most of his time traveling since he got out of jail. The south of the country is deserts and jungles with a very sparse population. The mountains in the north are cold and dangerous but the valleys contain hundreds of towns and small villages. Sakura seems particularly focused and Sasuke first thinks that she's muttering to herself, but he notices a small white slug that leaves a slimy trail on the table next to her.
"Still working?" he asks when she doesn't look up.
She nods. "I'm planning a trip for the hospital."
"The hospital?"
She sits back and puts down her pencil. "Every year we visit remote villages to provide medical aid. Some of them are very isolated. It's not for a while though, I'm just thinking about it."
He glances at the map and the lines she has drawn over it. He frowns. "You shouldn't cut through here," he says as he points at the map. "It looks shorter but the path is too steep."
"… Really?"
He nods. "Go around here," he says as he traces a line on the map with his finger.
"It's much longer!"
"The short way's impracticable most of the year. You'd have to go back on yourself and take another route."
She hesitates. She seems to wonder if she should trust him. She eventually erases the original line on the paper. "... Thanks."
Sakura brings work home often. She spends long days and nights at the hospital and the activity doesn't slow down during the summer. As well as the care she provides for her patients she has several projects to run that take her a lot of extra hours, and she works hard to stay on top of her skills and to apply for a new promotion soon.
One evening she stays several hours after her shift to complete administrative tasks, and when she finally comes home, she draws herself a hot bath and soaks until she is sleepy. She only comes out when the night is well advanced and the water is getting cold. Just as she steps out of the tub, she sees the handle of the bathroom door move, and, before she can react, she meets Sasuke's eyes through the opening. They both freeze in their movements, Sasuke pushing the door open and Sakura getting out of the bathtub, one leg already out, her hand reaching for a towel.
Sakura yelps. Sasuke swiftly closes the door but, in her surprise, Sakura flinches hard, misses the bathroom mat, and slips on the tiled floor. Her ankle gives out and she knocks her head on the sink cabinet as she falls over the edge of the tub.
"Are you ok?" Sasuke quickly asks through the door.
She gives a weak whine of pain. She is sprawled on the floor on her back like a turtle in its shell. Her ankle is throbbing, and she slips again when she tries to get on all fours on the wet tiles.
"Sakura?" Sasuke calls again.
"Go away," she moans pitifully.
She thought he would not be home that night, and now he saw her naked, all pruny with her dirty hair in an ugly bun, and she humiliated herself in front of him once again, not even able to stand up without slipping. Her head hurts.
"Do you need help?" Sasuke asks again. He sounds annoyed. Or… concerned? Probably annoyed.
"No!"
She must have hit her head quite hard because she's struggling to focus. She cannot stop thinking about the fact that she is naked and he is right behind the door.
"Sakura?" he insists. It almost sounds like he will come in if she doesn't reply.
"… My bathrobe is in my bedroom," she eventually says.
A few seconds later his hand appears through the barely open door to give it to her. He gives her time to put it on and carefully pushes the door open wider. He gives her a hand to help her get up. She checks her forehead in the mirror. Her skin is already swelling above her eyebrow.
She limps to the couch, sits down, and props her leg up to look at it. She puts her palm on her ankle and covers it in a green glow. After a few seconds Sasuke sits next to her. He is holding two ice packs and a kitchen towel. It's unnecessary but she doesn't have the heart to push him away. She removes her hand from her leg and takes one ice pack to hold it against her forehead. She sees him look down at her ankle and she swiftly retracts her leg toward herself.
"Does it hurt?" he asks.
"No," she says, too quickly, and he gives her a strange look. "Erm... A little bit maybe," she mutters.
What is she doing? She is not really hurt, she is just shaken by her ridiculous fall. They both know that it takes much more than a little fall to take down a shinobi, they have both had far worse injuries during missions and brushed it off to keep going.
She is paralyzed as she watches him wrap the second ice pack in the kitchen towel and place it on her ankle. He twists the towel to make a knot but cannot tie it with one hand. He quickly leans in toward her leg, bites one end of the kitchen towel, and pulls on the other side with his hand to tie it around her ankle. Her heart races. He has no business doing things with his mouth between her legs while she's almost naked. She pulls on her bathrobe to try and cover herself more but it barely reaches her knees. She looks back at her ankle.
"Do you need to wrap it?" he asks.
She shakes her head. "I'm fine. I was just… startled."
He keeps looking at her with tight eyebrows. Who would have thought he could look so good when he's concerned?
"Is your head ok?" he asks, after she's been staring at him like a dead fish for long seconds without saying anything.
Her heart is beating so fast she feels out of breath. Why is she making such a big deal out of this? If he let her focus for ten seconds she could heal both her ankle and her head in a blink. Instead she keeps looking at him and her thoughts are all over the place.
"Sorry for walking in," Sasuke says. When did he start saying sorry so often?
"I forgot to lock the door," she says. "I didn't hear you come in."
"I thought you were sleeping, I tried to be quiet."
"Sorry that you saw… that."
"I'm not sorry."
She looks up and meets his eyes and for a second she is not sure that she heard him right.
"I mean, you don't have to apologize," he adds.
Yes, that's surely what he meant, nothing else. Her heart is still beating too fast, she needs a break.
She carefully tries to move her foot. It feels fine. It's numb from the ice pack. She'll deal with the bump on her forehead in her bedroom.
"I should go to sleep," she says as she gets up.
He stands up with her. "Do you need help?"
She briefly imagines him walking her to her bedroom and helping her put on her pajamas. She needs fresh air. "No, I'll be fine."
That night Sasuke lies in bed but he cannot sleep. He is sure now that he is not coming down with a fever. It's a much more serious condition. A heart disease. He tries to think about something else and fall asleep, but every time he closes his eyes he sees Sakura again, naked, wet, and slightly rosy in the steam of the bath. He barely looked at her for a fraction of a second and yet the image is clear and bright in his mind. He sees the perfect shape of her breasts, so round and sweet, the smooth shine of her damp skin down the curve of her waist, the lines of her thighs. She had her hair up in a messy bun to keep it from getting wet and the humidity in the air made the fly away hairs around her face curl in soft pink swirls. Her legs, when she was sitting on the couch next to him, made him want to caress them all the way up between her thighs. His whole body is hot and tingling. He is red with shame in the dark that such a brief and awkward incident puts him in such a flustered state. He turns on his side and presses his face into the pillow to muffle a grunt of frustration.
In the following days he tries to focus on work and training to stop daydreaming about Sakura. He is assigned an important mission with Naruto and they are away from the village for four whole days, but the images of Sakura in his mind don't seem to fade, no matter the time or the distance between them. When he and Naruto come back they stop at Ichiraku to rest and eat before going home, and Naruto mentions her again.
"I think Sakura broke up with the flower shop dude," he says with his mouth full over his bowl of ramen.
Sasuke holds back a sigh. Why does Naruto keep updating him on Sakura's life?
"Are you spying on her?" he asks.
"You live with her, you should know more than me! You really don't notice anything about her?"
Sasuke avoids his gaze. He does notice. He notices when she changes the way she ties up her hair. He notices when she switches her usual order at her favorite take-out place. He notices when she had a good day or when she is tired, when she works late, when she leaves early, when she devours her dinner because she didn't have time to have lunch, and when she lies on the couch after eating and closes her eyes and he knows she is going to fall asleep right then and there. Why does he pay attention to all these things?
"I'm just saying I don't think she'll stay single very long, you know?" Naruto says, as he sprays noodle broth around his bowl while speaking, apparently oblivious to Sasuke's reflection. "Hinata says the men at the hospital are all over her."
Sasuke nods and shrugs. "Good for her."
When he comes back home after parting with Naruto he is happy to see Sakura home. Four days away shouldn't feel that long after having been away for two years, and yet…
She looks at him curiously. "I thought you'd be back yesterday," she says.
He nods. "We got delayed."
"I worried about you."
Her words make him stop while he's taking off his shoes. She worried? About him?
"Why?"
"Wasn't it an A-rank mission?"
He shrugs slightly. "I was with Naruto."
She puts her hands on her hips. "Is that supposed to reassure me or to make me even more worried?"
He can't help a short laugh. "I don't know. We were fine."
She gives him a small smile before she heads to her bedroom for the night.
That night Sasuke's sleep is agitated. His hand tightens on the sheet and his skin burns with need. He can feel her against every part of his body and he wants her more, closer, deeper. His heart beats so fast that he is dizzy. The heat of her skin against his is too much. Her whole body is pink and glistening with a light sheen of sweat. She is sitting on him, and the warmth and the tightness of her body are overwhelming. Her breasts bounce gently with each move of her hips. Her fingers dig into his chest as she rides him. He surrenders to the bright burst of pleasure that runs through his core.
He wakes up red and sweaty. His heart is beating in his ears. The night is dark, his breathing is loud in the immaculate silence of his bedroom. He needs long seconds to come back down from his dream. It felt so real. Her smell is still all over him, her touch on his body, her lips against his skin. His chest squeezes with shame and regrets that none of it was reality. He didn't know he had such a deep need. He pulls up on his elbow and winces. The humiliation of having to clean up makes him flush even more.
On Friday evening Sakura has a night out planned with Ino and she's already late after she had to stay past her shift at the hospital. She quickly stops at her apartment, slides on a summer dress, and grabs her purse as she slips her feet into her shoes.
"Still seeing Toshi?"
She looks up. Sasuke has seen her hurry to get ready. His expression is unreadable. Why is he asking this?
"Oh no," she says. "We erm… we broke up. A while ago. That time you tried to poison him, I told him we should stop seeing each other."
They look at each other for long seconds across the living room.
"Sorry to hear that," Sasuke finally says.
She squints at him. He doesn't look sorry at all. He has never looked less sorry. He even looks very satisfied. He holds her gaze. She wants to be mad at him but isn't. She cannot help a smile. She pinches her lips and turns around to hide it but her heart is racing.
Sasuke stays in Sakura's mind all night. She doesn't let anything shine through but she keeps wondering what he is doing and if he'll be home when she comes back. She almost fears that Ino read her mind when she mentions him over their drinks at the bar.
"I heard that Sasuke's being sent on A-rank missions?" Ino says, like she expects Sakura to know more than her about it. Sakura pretends not to.
"Really?"
"Yeah," Ino says with a nod. "I can't believe they made him do D-rank ones for so long, I was sure he'd snap. I don't know when he became so patient…"
Sakura hides a smile behind her cocktail. It's true that Sasuke went through several weeks of chores and paperwork without much complaining. He is surprisingly easy to live with as well. It seems that he is actually making efforts to make his return work. It makes her feel inexplicably hopeful.
"What's he like at home?" Ino asks with curiosity. "Do you think he's different?"
Sakura shrugs and avoids the question. "I don't know."
"Come on!" Ino insists. "Do you talk to him? Do you see him without his cloak sometimes? I bet he's hot."
"No, he sleeps and showers with it," Sakura says sarcastically. "You know I'm never home, we don't see each other a lot."
It's not true. She might not see him every day but they do come across each other several times a week and even share dinner quite often. At home, he is often in a t-shirt and sweatpants, and from time to time shirtless when he wakes up or he comes out of the shower, and every time he catches her attention. She feels her face warm up at the thought of the lines of his body and guesses she had one too many drinks.
"What does he wear to sleep?" Ino asks with interest.
"How would I know?"
"Do you think he sleeps naked?"
Sakura shakes her head and finishes her drink. "You're gross."
"Come on. You need to get your head out of your books once in a while and have fun."
"I have fun"
"With Toshi?" Ino scoffs, "I don't believe you."
Sakura plays with the straw in her empty glass. When she dated Toshi, their time in the bedroom was boring at best, painful on the worst days, and the only good thing about it was that it never lasted more than a couple of minutes before he slumped to her side like a log and snored away the rest of the night.
She sighs. "I'll give you that."
When she comes home the apartment is silent. Sasuke's shoes and cloak are gone. She is slightly flushed from her last drink. She draws herself a bath, doesn't forget to lock the door, and spends a long time thinking about what Ino said. She had not realized Sasuke was still on her mind so much. He is on her mind when she's at work and she wonders if he'll be home that night. When she wakes up and she hears the shower when he is in the bathroom. When it's hot and he is shirtless in the morning and she stares at him for so long that she knows all the lines and the scars on his back. She remembers touching him the night his arm was hurting. How warm his skin was and how tense his muscles felt under her palms. She shouldn't let herself have these kinds of thoughts, he was in pain and she was providing care, but her cheeks redden anyway. She remembers the feeling of him carrying her to her bed when she was drunk. It's a blurry, fuzzy feeling, tainted by the alcohol, but she can still clearly picture the feeling of his strong body around her and his skin against hers. She feels herself get hot at this idea. Ino's voice comes up in her mind.
"What does he wear to sleep?"
Does he really sleep naked?
She giggles lightly at this idea. She spots Sasuke's shower gel on the side of the bathtub. She hesitates, but grabs it to read the label. She opens the cap. The smell is so familiar and yet still overpowering. She presses the bottle and the soapy foam that forms in the water fills the bathroom with his scent.
Her brain comes up with a much crisper, much more recent image of him. She remembers his abs. The scar on his hip bone. She gently kneads her breast in her hand and her fingers slide on her wet skin. She closes her eyes. She lets herself sink into the bath and get covered with the fragrant foam. In the warm water, surrounded by his scent, it's almost like he's holding her.
Her fingers glide down the middle line of her stomach. She opens her legs just slightly. She's already so receptive down there. She sees again in her mind the impressive stretch in his sweatpants the day he had locked himself in the bathroom. How big it looked even under his clothes. She lets her fingertips roll over her clit. It's pleasantly sensitive.
She grabs the shower head and turns it on to give a light pressure. She dips it between her legs and she tenses when the stream flows over her folds. Her fingers part her lips and glide smoothly between them, leaving her exposed to every nozzle of the shower head. She imagines him touching her, lying over her, she would feel his muscles and the weight of his body against hers. She wants him between her legs, she wants to rub against him, she wants him to press inside her, thick and heavy where he'd fill her perfectly and the stretch would be deep and intense. She would sit on his hips and feel all of him. She angles the stream of water better. It sends tingles all the way up her core in the most pleasant rush.
She hears his voice in her head, how he says her name, how he would say it against her skin. She holds the shower head closer to her clit and cants her hips at the sweet sweet pressure over her most sensitive spot. She wishes he were with her, pressing between her legs and kissing her breasts. She imagines him thrusting faster, and her taking him so deep inside her that the mix of pain and pleasure would make her come. Her legs twitch and her knees shake as her climax washes over her.
She turns the shower head off with her toes and lies back in the thick foam, limp, and flushed with pleasure and embarrassment.
Sasuke is alone in the apartment the next evening. Sakura won't be home until the morning, he will probably get up and leave before she comes back. That's why he is surprised to hear a knock at the door. He opens it to see a man standing in the hallway, holding a large bouquet of flowers. The man cranes his neck to look at Sasuke over the flowers and gives an embarrassed smile.
"Is Dr. Haruno here?"
Sasuke's mood freezes. "No."
"Are you…?"
"Her roommate."
The visitor seems relieved. Sasuke is not relieved at all. He hates the idea that Naruto was right, not only about the fact that Sakura was not dating Toshi anymore, but also that many men were ready to take Toshi's place at short notice.
"Oh, good," the man says. "Good good. We met at the hospital, it's quite funny I was one of her patients I-"
"I don't care."
Sasuke's tone is enough for the man to understand that he needs to make it really short. He shoves the flowers into Sasuke's hand. "Can you give this to her and tell her that I stopped by? There's a card. And ask her if she's free this week? You think she's free? I know she's really busy, but maybe next week? At what time does she come back from work today? Does she-"
Sasuke doesn't hear the rest of it because he turns around and closes the door on the man.
He looks down at the bouquet. The idea comes to him to burn it. The urge to make it disappear and pretend no one ever knocked spreads in his guts. Will Sakura fall in love with this guy if she sees these flowers? Does she like him? He does look much more interesting than the idiot from the flower shop.
For some reason that night Sasuke finds himself talking to Aoda about Sakura again. They used to talk about missions, about training, about Aoda's family, but lately they have almost exclusively been talking about Sakura.
"Some guy bought her flowers," he mumbles as casually as he can, like he has not been thinking about this man and his stupid flowers all night.
"Is it a request for mating?"
Sasuke shrugs. "Yeah."
"Did she accept it?"
"I don't know."
"Did you do the courtship dance for her?"
"What?"
"The courtship dance to request mating."
"No."
"How will she know that you want to spend the mating season with her if you don't do the courtship dance for her?"
Sasuke stops in his tracks. Something at the back of his head tells him that Aoda is right and that he can't keep being jealous of every man who approaches Sakura while at the same time not doing anything to get close to her.
"What will you do if other men keep courting her?" Aoda asks.
Sasuke shrugs bitterly. "I'll eat them."
When Sakura comes home the next morning, Sasuke has already left the apartment for the day. Her eyes widen at the sight of a large bouquet of flowers, in a vase on the kitchen table. Her heart races. No one else has the keys, it has to be from him. But flowers? Why? He would never do something like this.
There's a note next to the vase. It's Sasuke's handwriting. She's ready to pass out.
Sakura,
One of your patients brought these last night.
Sasuke
Her heart struggles to slow back down. She reads the card from another man. Of course Sasuke just received the flowers and put them on the table. Why did she think he'd give her flowers? Why did she want these to be from him?
They don't talk about the flowers. For some reason, she decides to take them to her bedroom so that they don't stay in the kitchen where Sasuke would see them. She accepts a date with the patient who sent them, if only to thank him and to take her mind off her job, and off her roommate.
He is so much nicer than Toshi. In fact, he is adorable. He is kind, and polite, and funny, and very good-looking. The conversation with him is great, and yet… She cannot wait to finish her dinner and go home. Go home without him.
"I haven't had much time to read lately to be honest," he says over dessert.
She nods and has a little laugh. "Yeah me neither… I can't be like Kakashi, he's always reading his porn books at work."
Her date loses his smile. "You mean… the Hokage?"
"Oh," she says, "Yeah, sometimes I forget."
"Was he… inappropriate with you?"
Sakura quickly shakes her head at the misunderstanding. "No! He was my teacher when I was a genin. He just always reads these cheap erotic novels in public… "
Her date frowns even more. "He was inappropriate with you when you were young?"
Sakura pales at the accusation. "No! He wasn't. He wasn't at all. Sorry, I didn't mean that."
He doesn't seem convinced but she fears she'll make it worse if she says anything more. Silence settles between them and Sakura feels her heart twinge as she looks down at her plate. With someone else, she wouldn't have had to explain this. With someone else, they would be talking about things they have lived through together and she wouldn't have to clarify. She looks at the man in front of her again. He is charming but she catches herself wishing he were just… a bit taller. Just a bit fitter. With darker hair. And darker eyes. Slightly less talkative.
"I had a great evening," she says when they leave the restaurant and stop on the street before parting ways.
"Me too. Do you want to do this again next week? There's a place downtown that I–"
Sakura looks down and his voice trails off. He gets the message. He gives a light sigh. "I was surprised your roommate gave you the flowers, actually," he says. "I thought he'd throw them away or pretend they were from him."
She blinks in surprise at the mention of Sasuke. She shakes her head. "He'd never–"
"I know a jealous man when I see one. I've been there."
Her cheeks burn. What is he talking about?
Before she can compose herself he pushes his hands into his pockets and steps away from her with a polite nod.
"Goodnight Sakura. Take care."
Sasuke's thoughts about Sakura don't stop either. They even get worse and he fears his heart condition has reached an incurable stage.
The weather reaches a temperature peak and Sakura switches to her summer pajamas, which consist of the flimsiest tank top and the shortest shorts and he keeps walking in on her in the morning or the evening. In the morning her eyes are small and her hair messy, her pajama top is askew on her shoulders and he becomes late for his mission watching her make herself a cup of tea.
When the sun gets hot and she's not working she wears light summer dresses that match the color of her hair or her eyes. She ties her hair up in a messy bun or a high ponytail to keep it from sticking to the sweat on her neck, and unruly strands escape and fly free around her face. She paints her toenails pastel colors and he spends far too much time thinking about it. She sets her laundry to dry on the balcony and he picks up the tiniest pinkest panties from the floor when he opens the window to let in some fresh air.
On a balmy summer night, she buys one of these two-piece popsicles and she shares it with him on her balcony. His popsicle melts on his hand while he watches her eat her own half. She makes iced tea with her favorite tea leaves and fruits and there is always a pitcher of it in the fridge. He is convinced that she puts something addictive in it every time he pours himself another glass on the hottest days. One time when he already has a glass of iced tea in his only hand, she offers him a piece of fruit she just peeled and puts it directly in his mouth with her fingers. His attempts to focus on his mission plan that day are in vain.
In the summer light her green eyes appear even brighter and contrasting under her pink lashes. The August sun bleaches her hair and warms her skin, tints her cheeks with a rose glow and dots freckles on her nose. When he closes his eyes to sleep he sees the sparkle of her eyes and the blush of her freckles, like a constellation of stars in the darkness of his dreams.
One night the pain in his arm doesn't let him sleep. Despite Sakura's pills, the burn in his shoulder keeps flaring up after training, and now the sharp pins in his arm keep his brain on edge. He has tried to tighten the band around his stump, to lie on it to muffle the ache, but nothing helps. He gets up to go to the bathroom and notices a ray of light coming out of Sakura's bedroom. She isn't asleep yet. The memory of the instant relief she provided makes him stop in his tracks. He hesitates for a few seconds, but the ache in his back and his shoulder makes him walk to her bedroom and knock at her door, two short and quiet knocks.
"Sakura?"
He hears her sheets move. "Yeah?"
He pushes her door open slowly. Sakura is sitting on her bed, her legs under the comforter. She looks like she was just about to sleep.
"Are you alright?" she asks.
He holds up the little bottle of pills she gave him a few weeks earlier. "Can I take more than two of these at once?"
He would probably need to take half the bottle at once, but after his misadventure in the bathroom, he is wary of taking more than she told him to.
She winces and shakes her head slowly. "Honestly… I don't know. You seem to resist a lot of things, but I wouldn't…"
She looks at him again and her face changes. She seems to understand. She straightens up, crosses her legs on the bed, and pats the sheet to invite him to sit in front of her. He hesitates again, but walks in.
Her mattress dips under his weight when he sits down. She helps him take off his t-shirt. Getting undressed while he is sitting on her bed makes his brain briefly wander but the pain in his shoulder keeps him grounded. He feels the goosebumps down his spine when her fingers brush against his skin to undo the band around the stump of his arm. She puts her palms on his shoulder and he forces himself not to twitch under her touch.
The green glow of her palm shines in the dim light. Soon the warmth of her hands soothes the ache. He quietly sighs with relief. He closes his eyes. The tension that almost paralyzed his left side recedes. It feels even better than the first time.
"I looked it up at the hospital," she says without removing her hands, and her voice is a whisper in the quiet atmosphere of the bedroom. "Your chakra points are disturbed, it doesn't flow like it used to, that's why it's painful after training."
The heat on his skin feels more intense than the previous time. It takes longer as well. When he opens his eyes he sees the black lines of her chakra seal run down her forehead onto her face, all the way to her palms, and onto his own skin around his shoulder. The pain is completely gone, even deep in his muscles. He watches the black lines retract and he needs a couple of seconds to look up after she takes her hands from his shoulder.
"It should last a bit longer this time," she says. "It's still not permanent though, I'm sorry."
He nods. She picks up the band to wrap his arm again but he stops her. It doesn't feel like he needs to wrap it anymore. "It's fine."
She has a satisfied smile. She looks different, with her hair down without her headband, in the dim, warm light of her bedside lamp, in just her pajamas. The scent of her, of her shampoo, of her laundry, is stronger in her bedroom. Her sheets are warm and soft. She is really close to him. For a second his thoughts stop, suspended. There is something captivating in the way she looks at him, so familiar and yet so new. Now that he has turned to face her, her face is only inches away from his. He glances at her lips. Her cheeks are pink like her mouth. The dim light enhances the shadows on her cheekbones and he cannot look away from the curve of her mouth, barely open, soft and gentle, so close to him now that he can almost feel her breathing.
Their fingers touch on the comforter and the unexpected contact makes him snap out of it. He realizes how much he unconsciously leaned toward her. She was sitting close while she healed his shoulder and the dip of the bed made it easy to lean in when he turned to look at her. He takes his hand back and looks away. His ears burn.
"Thanks," he says, and she nods in reply.
He walks back to his room mechanically, but the rush of having her so close leaves him with a burning need for more.
In the following days this feeling stays on his mind and he keeps wondering what would have happened if he had not pulled away. He tries to distract himself with missions and training, with little success.
A week after Sakura healed his arm, Sasuke trains with Naruto in the forest, and it takes much longer than usual as they both get a bit too worked up and neither of them wants to back down. It lasts until Naruto realizes that the night has fallen, remembers that he was supposed to bring dinner for his pregnant wife, and leaves on the spot.
When Sasuke makes it back to Sakura's apartment it's late and he thinks she will already be asleep, but she's watching TV. She gasps when she turns to say hi and sees the general state of him after his day outside. He is covered in cuts and bruises, mud, sand, his shirt is burnt and his pants torn at the knees. She gets up from the couch.
"Don't move, you're going to dirty the whole place!" she scolds when he takes off his shoes.
He scoffs. "Is that why you're concerned?"
"I know you were not on a mission, you were just playing idiots with Naruto."
"Training."
"Is that what you call it? No- don't put your sword on the rug- is that blood? Is it yours?"
"No."
"Is he ok?"
"He didn't even realize he was hurt."
She looks him up and down. "Go shower."
He stares at her but she doesn't back down. "Shower. You're getting dust everywhere."
When he comes out of the bathroom after rinsing off he is only wearing his sweatpants.
"What did you get yourself into…" she whispers when she sees the extent of the bruises and cuts on his chest.
"I think he's using me as a training dummy," Sasuke admits.
She sighs. "Sit on the couch," she orders.
She sits on the coffee table in front of him. She touches a cut on his cheek with her fingers, the contact sends a chill down his neck and it has nothing to do with her medical chakra.
"You're the only one he can go all out with," she says slowly with a focused frown as she looks at his other cuts. "He has to gather half of the jonins of the village to even get a decent fight. No one else is a match."
She says it as a matter of fact but his chest swells with pride. Only she and Kakashi have ever seen how powerful Naruto actually is. It makes her remark even more meaningful. The truth is that he enjoys sparring with Naruto just as much. Kakashi did ask them not to blow up the surrounding areas but they have a hard time holding back, and it feels good to try their most powerful combos every once in a while. It always leaves him with a pleasant exhaustion like a good workout. Now he has cuts and bruises just about everywhere, but he is happy about it.
She looks at the side of his chest and frowns in disapproval
"Lie down," she says.
He sighs but still does what she asks. She kneels next to the couch and touches his chest with the tip of her finger. With a green glow, she erases another small cut. It sends shivers down Sasuke's spine. She frowns and places her hand on the side of his ribcage. The contact makes his heart beat much faster than expected.
"Hold your breath a second," she requests.
"What are you doing?"
"You have a broken rib, stay still."
"I don't think it's broken it's just–"
She pokes him on the broken bone and he yelps. "Ow!"
"I said, hold your breath."
He sees her pinch her lips to repress a smile at his exclamation of pain. He takes in a breath and gets a full cloud of her scent again. Her hands are warm on his skin, he feels her heat down in his stomach.
She removes her hands from his ribs. "He didn't miss you," she notes.
"You should've seen him. I clearly won this one."
Sakura shakes her head. "Well, you still have your other arm so I believe you."
Something in her expression makes him laugh a little. The fact that she can joke about this makes him feel better. He cannot remember the last time he actually laughed. It hurts in his ribs and his cheeks.
"There you go, all patched up," she says with a satisfied smile as she pulls away from him.
"Thanks."
She stands up at the same time as he gets up from the couch and they find themselves face to face only an inch from each other, blocked between the coffee table and the couch. They exchange a glance and Sakura looks away. Her cheeks are bright pink.
Her expression wakes up memories in his mind. Memories of days where she'd follow him and fawn and blush. His heart swells at the idea that part of her might still be feeling like this for him, after all this time, despite everything.
She looks up at him again, and this time she doesn't look away. Her pink lashes flutter. Her face is only inches from his. He doesn't want her to go, but he doesn't know what to say. He looks at her lips again.
He lowers his head toward her. She raises her chin just enough to meet him.
From the moment their lips touch, the atmosphere shifts. The tension that had built over the past weeks, months, years of their lives shatters. Suddenly it's only the two of them in the present, at this very second.
His lips press against hers, too quickly, too greedily, and she kisses him back just as eagerly. The rush is so strong that his heart hurts. He pulls back slightly, just a second to catch his breath, their noses still touching. Her scent fills his brain. She kisses him again and opens her mouth. Their tongues meet. It sends warmth all the way down his stomach. She tastes soft and sweet. It feels so easy. How did he not do this earlier? Within seconds they are exchanging a deep, hungry kiss. They should pull apart but they don't. He takes her by the waist and brings her closer. The feeling of her against him makes it even more pleasant. She rests her hands on his bare chest. She's flushed.
He kisses her again and it's like they have kissed a million times before. It shouldn't feel so good the first time. He forgets to breathe. Nothing exists anymore but the taste of her lips and the warmth of her body against his. It feels so right it's like he had been craving this for weeks without realizing it. He holds her tighter, his fingers press in the softness of her hip. He gently guides her to kiss her against the wall. He can feel every curve of her body. Her hand goes down his chest over his stomach. Her fingers on his bare skin send goosebumps all over his body.
He kisses down her neck and she tilts her head back against the wall to let him kiss the line of her throat. He thinks she might stop him but her chest only heaves harder when he kisses down her cleavage. The thrill of it makes him shiver. She is wearing one of these light summer dresses that drive him crazy. She pulls down the thin straps on her shoulders to reveal her bra and sighs when he kisses the top of her breasts. She runs her hand in his hair up the back of his head and pulls him closer, pressing his nose and his mouth against the soft swell of her breasts.
He pulls back. She wraps her arms around his neck and finds his lips again. They don't break the kiss. She holds onto him and he lifts her up against the wall. She tightens her legs around him and their hips press together. He needs more. He knows she can feel him between her thighs. He looks up and he only needs to meet her eyes a second to know. She looks at him through her pink lashes, her cheeks and her mouth bright red. She gives him the briefest nod and kisses him again.
They lie down together on her bed only a few seconds later. She spreads her legs and he settles over her between them. Her dress runs up her hips and reveals her cotton panties. The line of her hips, the curve of her thighs, and this tiny piece of fabric in the middle, already pressing against him, make him strain against his pants.
She undoes her bra and her breasts fall free, exposed, so round and perfect in front of him. He takes one in his hand while he kisses the other. Her nipples are pink and hardened and she squirms against him when he takes one in his mouth. They feel better than his hottest dreams. He can feel her heartbeat against her ribs and her stomach tenses with her every breath.
He looks up at her and she nods again. He pushes her dress up around her waist and over her head. He hooks a finger in her panties to slide them down. She wiggles out of them until they are around her ankles and she lets them fall off the bed.
He had already seen her naked and yet he is still stunned. He barely has time to take in the sight of her that her legs tighten around him again. She fumbles between them to open his pants, and slides her hand into his underwear. The contact of her fingers around his length makes his breath catch. She gives a soft pump and he hisses at the feeling. He looks at her again, her face is flushed down to her neck and her chest. She pushes his pants down and he hastily takes them off with his underwear. He kisses between her breasts again and up in the crook of her neck. The scent and the warmth of her skin fill his brain with nothing but urge and need.
Her hands on his body give him tingles deep under his skin. She gently squeezes him and her thumb rolls over the head of his length. He has to focus not to let himself lose control before they even start but his brain is barely responsive. It feels like he is drunk. The only thought in his head is to hold her as close as possible and bury himself inside her.
He lowers himself to settle between her legs until their hips touch. She sighs loudly when his length rubs against her front, and the sound of her voice rushes through his spine. She rolls her hips against him. She is so wet already. His mind feels like mush. He wants to abandon himself in her embrace.
"Sakura?" he asks, and his voice is a burning breath against her skin.
She tightens her fingers in his hair. "Yes."
He holds her hip to align with her. He gently presses at her entrance and she's so tight at first that he is carefully slow. She tightens her legs around him and kisses him deeper, and he pushes slightly firmer against her and she lets out a broken moan as he enters her. Her eyes are closed, her mouth open as she takes him in and stretches open for him. She's so wet, so incredibly warm, that every inch of her feels overwhelming.
She whines softly as he sinks fully inside her. He rests his forehead against hers and she pants against his lips. Her chest heaves. Their bodies interlock perfectly. Even without moving, she is already too much. She opens her eyes, glazed with lust, her cheeks bright pink, her mouth swollen with kisses and her hair spread on the pillow. When she kisses him again, he moves inside her and pleasure simmers in every part of his body. She runs her fingers through his hair, along the curve of his neck, and down his spine, and it's like she's leaving a trail of sparks on his skin. He's out of breath already. How can she be so tight and yet feel so good? She opens her legs wider and takes him deeper. Her arms tighten around him. She hides her face in the crook of his neck. Their breathing is harsh between two kisses, they pant and gasp against each other's mouths. Their embrace is so tight, the angle just right, with each move he thrusts deeper and his body shakes with the build of pleasure. Her core tightens and it's a delicious torture not to release immediately.
She squeezes her thighs around him and rolls her hips. Her breathing gets sharper and his thrusts quicker and she presses back against him. Seeing her chase her own high brings him terribly close to his climax and he struggles to slow down.
Her whole body shudders against him and her fingers pull on his hair when she tenses. A moan forms his name on her lips.
"Sasuke–"
He holds her through it. The feeling of her, her ragged breathing, her embrace around him like she is going to fall if she lets him go, and the strength of her core tightening around him, it takes him over the edge.
She keeps holding onto him as they ride the last waves of their orgasm. His ears are ringing. It feels like all his strength suddenly left him. Her arms go limp around him and she lies back in the pillows. He lets himself slowly roll to her side, his heart painfully trying to slow down.
His high drops as quickly and brutally as it came. Without her against him, the air of the bedroom feels cold against his skin, still red with pleasure and damp with sweat. The bedroom falls silent. He catches his breath. His brain is buzzing, still basking in the physical pleasure, in the shot of hormones and excitement. His whole body is flushed and weak, full of a good exhaustion, tired but satisfied.
He stares at the ceiling. One moment they had never shared more than a hug and the next they had burned through all the steps of physical intimacy like they were about to die if they didn't get to it soon enough.
The fog in his brain only barely dissipates after long minutes in the dark. He looks to his side. Sakura is lying on her side, facing away from him. Her hair is spread on the pillow.
The image of her, laid under him, flushed pink down to her belly button, is burned in his brain when he closes his eyes.