A/N: While the majority of my 'Smash' stories are one-shots, this one is going to be more of a journey as I reimagine Season Three. I appreciate all who take the time to read and review.
Ivy Lynn grasped her Tony in her right hand, wondering if the 'real' Tony that would be shipped to her would look just like the display award in front of her. The Tony awards on her mother's extensive shelf were all engraved her with name on the bottom. Ivy thumbed the edge of the award, hopping that she could keep the display until her personal one was shipped to her home. Ivy quickly covered her mouth, feeling an unsatisfying urge pull her away from her revelry. Dashing past several well-wishers into the nearest ladies restroom, Ivy hid in the farthest stall. "Just this once," Ivy coached herself, bracing her body to stand up once more. Resting one hand on her stomach, Ivy whispered a 'sshhh' to the little baby growing inside of her.
"There you are!" Leigh Conroy found her daughter standing outside of the restroom. "People are looking for you? Are you alright?"
"I will be," Ivy said with her best poised smile. "Just needed a quick minute."
"Well of course you did," Leigh gushed, "Winning your first Tony. Of course I won my first Tony when I was a few years younger than you are now, but that's just ancient history."
"Right," Ivy said slowly, hugging her mother. It was often easier to let Leigh keep her version of truth and tales than to present an opposing opinion. "I am sorry you didn't win," she said quietly. "Especially since Daisy Parker wound up taking the prize."
Leigh brushed off the notion of jealousy. "You know I thought that Daisy Parker was supposed to perform tonight; I haven't seen her since her win." Leigh touched her daughter's arm. "You are positively glowing – it must be the win."
"Yeah," Ivy agreed quietly. Right now the only people that knew about her pregnancy were her team of doctors and one of her best friends, Sam Strickland.
Leigh took Ivy's arm and guided her to a set of chairs in the corner. "Maybe you should have a seat for a moment."
Ivy lifted a hand to her mouth. "I think I'm just tired."
"Is that all?" Leigh asked gently. "Not fitting into your original dress, being tired, wanting to take time off?"
"Mom, really everything is good. I just won a Tony. I…"
Leigh placed her hands on Ivy's stomach. "A mother knows. I was in your exact situation in Anything Goes."
Ivy blinked. "How, how could know…."
"Mother's instinct." Leigh kissed Ivy on the forehead. "How are you really feeling? Have you been taking care of yourself?"
Ivy nodded. "I've been taking all of my prenatals, following doctor's orders."
"You know you will be taking time off eventually."
"Eventually, but not tomorrow, not right away."
"Have you talked to Derek yet?"
"About him saying he loved me?" Ivy asked. "I haven't had a chance to…."
"About the baby," Leigh prodded. "I don't need to know your entire dating history to know that he's the father."
"I'm telling him tonight."
"Call me tomorrow," Leigh instructed, helping her daughter stand.
"I will," Ivy promised, waving goodbye to her mother. Ivy walked down the halls of Radio City Music Hall looking for the man who declared his love for her in front of hundreds of people. She felt her heart fly out of her chest at the sight of Derek Wills and Tom Levitt, talking and comparing Tony awards.
"Hey," Ivy said timidly, interjecting.
"Hey," Derek acknowledged, turning his focus to her.
"Do you want to go talk?"
"Yeah." Derek reached for Ivy' arm, guiding her to a secluded alcove in the after party area. "You look…extraordinary" he murmured after a pause, fumbling over the right words.
"I do?" Ivy tucked her hair behind her ear. "I was lucky to fit in my dress tonight, a last minute change of plans."
"That gown is perfect for you," Derek assured her.
"And you clean up very well…from this morning." Ivy moved her hands to his collar.
"I suddenly found a reason to change."
Ivy paused. "Me?"
"It's been you for months, I just never said it out loud before," he said gently, not wanting to scare her away.
"I never knew that I had that effect on you," Ivy demurred, lowering her eyes.
Derek lifted her chin gently. "I was a fool to not tell you, to let you think for one minute that I…" he trailed off, finding himself overcome.
"You don't have to say it," Ivy said gently.
"You are the love of my life."
Ivy let out a low gasp, finding herself losing her balance. "What about…"
Derek moved his hands to her waist to steady her. "There's no one else but you," he assured her, having bared his soul to Michael Riedel two weeks before. His interview with Michael confronted several years' worth of bad behavior and rumors. Rumors that had built a wall around him and those that he cared about. "You have every right to doubt me, after everything I put you through these past two years."
"I don't doubt you at all," Ivy murmured. "You're so different. From Boston," Ivy clarified for Derek's curious look.
"One of my least proud moments," Derek admitted.
Ivy shook her head. "We've both had those moments together and apart. But you are different Derek, in a wonderful way. Thoughtful, attentive, willing to tell me how you feel. It scared me at first."
"It may have scared both of us," Derek chuckled. "And I have you to thank for that."
"Me?"
"You, you make me want to be better, to do the right thing, to atone for my actions."
"That night, when you came to my stoop, drunk as I've ever seen you, it was the first time you apologized to me for anything and, even through all of the alcohol, I knew you were sincere."
"We were both broken I suppose after the pre-Broadway tryouts. But we found our way to each other."
"It took a year," Ivy laughed lightly. "But we became friends, and I'm not sure we had that down last year. Maybe that was where things went wrong."
"To be honest, I've never really had that many friendships with women."
"Well that's because they're distracted by your handsomeness," Ivy observed, moving her hand to his jawline. "I know I was when I first met you."
Derek kissed Ivy's hand. "You see through me, you see through all of the walls that I put up, and you like me anyway."
"I love you anyway," Ivy emphasized.
"I meant every single word out there tonight, I owe you everything."
Ivy felt her knees begin to buckle. "Do you, do you think we could go somewhere a little more private?" she asked.
"Well, I wouldn't exactly recommend my place at the moment," Derek chuckled, slightly embarrassed.
"My place would be perfect, if that's alright with you."
"I just want to be where you are," Derek assured her, caressing her cheek.
Ivy opened the door to her small Hell's Kitchen apartment. It was intimate, with a sitting area, a kitchenette, and a bedroom, the perfect size for one person. "I was a bit frazzled getting ready for tonight," apologizing for the mess. "My mother was here earlier, and you know how she is always wanting to give her two cents."
Derek closed the door behind her, attempting to put her at ease. "You seemed perfectly graceful to me, especially during your performance."
Ivy lowered her eyes. "You are too generous with your praise."
Derek shook his head. "I had an up close personal view, remember. You performed right after I made my winning speech."
"You declared your love for me in front of the entire theatre community."
Derek wrapped his arms around Ivy's neck. "I wouldn't change a word."
"Really? No qualifiers or exceptions?"
"I only wish I had said it sooner." He moved his hands down to the top of her zipper. "Your zipper is about ready to pop," Derek observed with a wry grin.
Ivy's body began to shake.
Derek closed his eyes in frustration. "I said the wrong thing, I always say the wrong thing," he chided himself. Derek lowered his head to meet Ivy's gaze. "Please forgive me."
"That's not why I'm crying," Ivy stammered. "I, there's something that you need to know, before we go any further."
Derek rubbed her back gently, waiting for her to continue.
"It's funny how life turns out," Ivy observed, her tears subsiding. "Right as my career begins to take off, I get the most life altering news."
"Ivy…" interjected, concerned.
"I'm healthy," she laughed. "It turns out, that I'm pregnant."
"We're going to have a baby?"
Ivy looked up at Derek. The way he said 'we' without question or reservation, made her heart melt. All she could muster out was a subtle nod.
"You must be at least…"
"Two and half months along," Ivy confirmed. "I tried so many times to tell you, I wanted you to know but…"
"I ignored your calls."
"And then I found out about everything with, you know," Ivy digressed, referring to the drama of Daisy Parker and Ana Vargas.
"That must have been very hard on you," Derek gently observed. He moved his hand to caress her cheek. "Who else knows?"
"My doctors, Sam, and my mother apparently," she added, laughing lightly. "Figured it out tonight."
Derek inhaled through his nose. "Should I be concerned?"
"Mom has always been a fan of yours," Ivy assured him. "I'd understand if you need time to think and process through everything, I know it's a lot to take in." She turned to be in front of him, placing his hands on her stomach.
"I'm not going anywhere," Derek promised, breathing into her ear, his fingers threaded through hers. "It will be you, me, and the baby. Not sure how great of a father figure I'll be. You and the child may not want me around."
Ivy squeezed Derek's fingers. "Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you'd make a pretty great dad – think of it as a directing job, but closer to home."
"Home," Derek murmured, lowering his head to kiss her shoulder. "That gives us around six and a half months or so until the baby comes."
Ivy leaned into his touch. "I've been so scared this past month, wondering if I could even keep the baby, but this past week, I've felt more sure of myself. It won't be easy managing everything – work and the pregnancy, and everything else."
"You've got an extra person in your corner now."
Ivy turned her body slightly, bringing her mouth to his. It was their first kiss in nearly two months. Derek held onto her body to keep her steady, as she deepened her gesture.
Derek carefully unzipped the rest of the dress, allowing it to fall to the floor in a heap. "I love you Ivy Lynn."
"I love you Derek Wills," she echoed as Derek scooped her into his arms, and placed her on the bed. "And I love our baby."
"We'll be just like the three musketeers," Derek smirked.
"Just as long as we're together." Ivy smoothly undid the buttons on Derek's dress shirt.
"I wouldn't have it any other way." Derek settled in next to Ivy, the most content he had been all season, even in the brink of uncertainty.