"Somebody hel-" Reiner felt nothing but confusion overtake him when he was suddenly thrust into a strange place that he vaguely recognised as Trost.
Marco was beneath him, he was crying and in pai- why is he pinning him down?!
He heard the familiar sound of ODM gear and suddenly Annie landed in front of him with a look of emotion that he'd never seen on her except for after Marcel died. Distress.
"Annie please help me!" Why was he holding Marco down like this? Why do Annie and Bertolt look so scar- no horrified at what he's doing.
His mouth moved without him having to do anything and he ordered Annie to remove Marcos ODM gear. He felt horrified by his own words, what is he doing? Why is he attacking Marco?!
"Annie remove Marcos ODM gear." He froze in horror from his own words as he momentarily forgot that he couldn't control his own body. What is he talking about?
The words that left his mouth next made him freeze in horror as he emotionally blackmailed Annie by threatening her father. What is he doing? Why is he threatening Annie like this?! What's going on?! Why can't he move?!
Annie has a terrifying look on her face as she begins to remove Marcos ODM gear, with the freckled boy himself repeatedly asking why they were doing this, why they were murdering him. Why were they murdering him?!
"This is what makes us Warriors." The words that left his mouth next made an uncontrollable surge of contradicting feeling course through his head all at once.
What is going on? And why is Marco being eaten- he's a devil, he needs to die, they all have to di- why is he killing his frie- they aren't his friends, they're all filthy Devils that deserve to be massa- what's going on?! Why is he killing his friends?!
Annie unhooked his gear and threw it threw a window that was next to the roof they'd pinned Marco down on and they quickly flew away as a Pure Titan approached them from behind, greedily leering down at its next meal.
Marco cried in pure misery." Why- Why are you so quick to kill me. We haven't even had a chance to talk things out?!" His cries of sadness were then replaced by pure terror when the mindless monster grabbed him by the waist.
What is happening?! He needs to save his fri- good riddance, one less island Devils in this wor- what the hell is going on?!
All he could think about in that moment was saving Marco- he's a Warrior, he won't let himself be corrupted by these evil devil- who is he?! A Warrior or a soldier.
He felt his mind crack as his body rooted itself from a safe distance as the Titan brought a screaming Marco to it's mouth, tears and begs for mercy flowed out of the terrified boys mouth as the Titan put him in it's mouth and slowly, painfully, bit him in half, silencing his screaming permanently.
The sight of his friend dying made his mind crack a little, and he couldn't help but ask out, this time he was able to speak.
"Why is Marco being devoured?"
Suddenly the world around him seemed to crash and fall as Annie and Bertolt both turned instantly into steam and his mind was glowing and bursting with memories that weren't his.
"Your just murderers, heartless mass murderers who snuffed out the lives of countless people who never did anything wrong!"
"Reiner, come out!"
"Reiner, I'm the same as you-"
Suddenly it all faded away as as quick as a flash and before he could react the Attack Titan was running at him with it's lip less jaws open wide and it lunged at him with two green eyes full of intense hatred, before he could react it bit dow-
"Wait!" The words erupted out of his mouth in a shout which he failed to realize was unprovoked, given that there was no Titan in front of him, there was no memories rushing through his head, he was safe.
He praised his luck that he was alone and wouldn't have to explain what exactly he was dreaming about to his fellow MP's, that would've been yet another lie he'd have to tell to keep his mission alive. He needs to complete the mission, retrieve the Founding Titan and kill the island Devils, retrieve the Founding Titan and killed the people of Paradis, retrieve the Founding Titan and kill all his frie- wait no that's not...
He grabbed his head as it throbbed and he let out a sad sigh, feeling especially sorry for himself recently. He doesn't know what to do, it'd be so much easier, so much simpler, if everyone on the island were just a bloodthirsty devil, like Marley taught them, but Annie's words ringed in his mind.
Are you sure that you just don't want to hurt your precious friends soldier boy?
His expression became resigned and tired at how confused and angry he felt. He's allowed himself to become a half hearted piece of shit, he became attached to his fellow soldiers and even became... friends with them. No wait that's not right, friends aren't meant to murder each other. When the Attack Titan stopped them he was... relieved.
Relieved that none of his friends that day would die because of his actions. Relieved that no more blood would be on his hands. Relieved that, at least for the moment, he wasn't an even bigger mass murderer than he already was, why did it have to be him? Why did he have to suffer like this? Why does he have to kill innocent people?
He numbly got up from his bed and prepared another day to spend his time pretending to be a soldier. Because that's what he is, a soldier who protects humanity, he fights to protect his friends and innocent people, he fights the Titans for the greater good. He is good. Everything is good. His life is good.
He proudly placed his Military Police uniform on and prepared himself for the coming day with the utmost seriousness, it's his job to make the Walls a better place so that's what he's gonna do. He's not a Cadet anymore, he is a soldier.
He allowed a bright smile to bloom on his face at the thrill of being able to defend the Walls and his people from the coming threats.
DRIP.
He gasped slightly in confusion as water dripped down from the ceiling and onto the floor, leaving a noticeable stain on the otherwise perfectly dry carpet. That's strange, it's a very sunny day so why-
He touched his face when he felt a dampness of his cheek and couldn't help but feel confused and bewildered when he found the source was his very own eyes. He was crying? Weird. He's got nothing to cry about.
He took his sleeve and wiped away his tears swiftly and left for the morning to complete his duty to humanity, to be the best soldier he can be. Because that's what he is.
A Soldier.
He closed his rooms door behind him and kept his eternal smile on his face, excited for the coming day. Unaware that a lone, solitary, tear was trailing its way down his face and onto his jawline.
Ignorance truly is bliss.
Bertolt did his best not to let his nerves show, though if the looks of his 'comrades' were any indication then he wasn't doing a good job of hiding it, but at this point maybe he's just too tired of hiding his real thoughts to care.
He just wants to go home. He feels dead here, walking around his victims, and he never failed to show obvious discomfort when Eren would talk about the Colossal Titan in such horrific detail, a fact that made Bertolt extremely uncomfortable, and made the lanky boy glad that he was assigned to join the Military Police. At least now he won't have to pretend that he's a loyal, decent and righteous human being.
Getting away from Eren is also a plus in his book.
Just the thought of that green eyed boy from the city that he destroyed was enough to make Bertolt frown. Eren was someone who terrified him, that's not actually all that impressive of an accomplishment on its own he's scared by a lot of things, the Maria refugee was an enigma to him, every time they talked he seemed to feel a hollow fear deep in his chest, as though he was entering fight or flight, and those devilish eyes of his-
Bertolt let out an involuntary shiver. This island might not be all Devils but he's sure of one thing. The devil does live here.
Eren has a fire in his eyes that would make weak willed individuals beg on their knees, and it seemed to be held back by something, as though it were biding its time, waiting for the perfect time to strike and the moment he let's his guard down he's done for.
He's not so much of an idiot to believe that Marley is right after this but if people like Eren are on this island then suddenly their mission doesn't seem so wrong anymore. Because Eren does seem like the kind of man who could, if push came to shove, rumble the entire world.
He has no choice in the matter. It's wrong, it's evil and there's no justification for killing so many innocent people but he just doesn't have a choice. He wants to live, he will live, he needs to live.
The mushroom headed boy besides him, Marlow if he recalled correctly, ranted on and on about reforming the MP's and stopping corruption in the interior. He wasn't really listening, because how can he reform the MP's if there isn't even an interior to begin with?
This place will be destroyed by his own hands before long, there's no helping it, he just needs to endure the pain and complete his mission.
He stared at Reiner with anxiety and fear. The leader of the Warriors has been acting strangely, he's constantly talking about honor and what it means to be a soldier, the lanky boy has been watching and hoping for a while that the blonde would snap out of it soon enough, Reiner needs to stop messing around and setting himself up for failure.
If the Attack Titan hadn't shown up maybe they'd already be back home by now, that thing just had to show up and completely destroy their plans directly after they'd been set in motion. It feels like they'll never leave this backwards hermit kingdom behind and join civilization.
"Look at them, selling ODM gear illegally in broad daylight. It's disgraceful." Bertolt listened half heartedly with a tired expression, not bothering to get attached to his fellow MP's. However Reiner seemed to have other plans.
"Your right, as soldiers it's our job to keep order in the Walls and help humanity, not add onto the corruption already in humanity. Let's go teach them a lesson."
Bertolt gaped lightly in horror at Reiners words, he couldn't help but grab the Blondes shoulder with fearful eyes at the boys hypocritical actions." Reiner what are you doing?"
The blonde actually looked genuinely confused at those words." Well I'm fulfilling my duty as a soldier, it is our job afterall. I didn't shed blood, sweat and tears with the you and the others for three years back at camp so that I could sit around and do nothing."
Bertolt felt a hollow emptiness and resentment towards Reiner all of a sudden. He wondered what the broad boy was doing, why he forces Bertolt to act like this, why his leader had to be so weak and why he couldn't follow someone more stable and reliable than the Armoured Titan.
He sighed and looked at Reiner anxiously." Your not a soldier Reiner, me and you... we're Warriors." He's getting really tired of having to say those words.
Reiners face seemed to freeze for a moment and his demeanor noticeably shifted from a carefree expression to a troubled one and he seemed to remember something extremely tragic as he came to the realisation of who they really are and with his hands burrowing their way into his hair, to cradle what the Colossal Shifter can only assume is a headache, he dryly and emotionally muttered." Right, of course... that's how it is."
Several of their fellow soldiers sent them weirded looks but Bertolt was too tired to care. He misses Annie, and not just because he was in love with her, as cold as she might have been at least she was stable and smart, she was always the most rational one of the three of them, she would have done what's necessary for him.
Bertolt doesn't know what he's doing anymore, he only knows one thing.
He wants to live.
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