Between the two new guests aboard the ship, the DeLorean, liquor barrels and dinosaur carcasses taking most of the space in the cargo hold, and the room taken over by Mei's experiments with Dials and the piles of junk Usopp had bought in Loguetown, the Going Merry felt cramped. Wanting to be alone for a bit, Izuku had hopped up to the crow's nest, taking a moment to update his hero notes, isekai pirates edition. Animals taking Devil Fruit just as readily as humans opened all kinds of implications, and Izuku wondered if they would qualify as support gear.

A mouth and an ear sprouted on the woodwork next to him. Izuku was halfway through sketching the sprouted body parts when Robin said, "You're the ship's medic, correct?"

"I mean, I've learned a few things from Crocus, but I never had any formal education."

"It will have to do. Mei's come down with something."

All thoughts of note-taking forgotten, Izuku leapt down to the deck and sprinted to the girls' quarters. Mei shivered in bed, delirious and ranting about making babies.

Izuku checked her temperature and winced. Her forehead felt like a cast-iron pan. He looked her over and found an insect bite on her arm.

"I can whip something up to keep her fever down," Izuku told the collected crew, "But she probably picked something up from Littlegarden. It'll take a real doctor to treat her."

"And knowing Littlegarden's fauna," Robin added, "It's likely a disease most doctors won't know how to treat. We will need an expert."

"How long does she have?" Sanji asked. The flirtatious tone had disappeared, leaving him grave and somber.

Izuku clenched his teeth. "This hit her too fast. Two days, maybe three."

"Until she dies!" Usopp shrieked. "What if it gets the rest of us too!"

"Which is why you're all getting doused with insect repellant." Izuku ground up herbs in a mortar and sprinkled in some Tear Balm. "Should've done this when we set out on the island."

With everyone reeking to high heaven and certified bug free by the medic, Nami brought out a primitive chart from Loguetown and said, "We might make it to Alabasta in a day and a half."

Vivi's expression brightened. "We've got excellent doctors at the capital. Father could have her seen to right away."

"That's if Crocodile lets us." Zoro fiddled with his sword with one hand. "Isn't there a civil war going on? No guarantee we won't get caught up in that the moment we land."

Igaram melodically cleared his throat and added, "Especially since he should be expecting us, given his top Numbers won't be reporting in."

Vivi frowned. "But we can't afford to delay. Every day means more of my people dying. It's a risk we'll have to take."

"With respect, your highness, we can't ask them to abandon a comrade for our sakes."

Vivi whirled on Igaram. "But what else would we do? We don't have any other Log Poses."

Nain adjusted the crown on his head and said, "Well, I still have the one for Whiskey Peaks. Didn't you say that Crocus guy was Roger's doctor?"

Nami shook her head. "Too far. Even with the wind, it would take a week."

Robin laid a few Eternal Poses on the table. "Crocodile gave me a few, but there's no guarantee they'll be any help."

Izuku looked them over. The one labeled "Drum Kingdom" instantly caught his eye.

"That one. There's a ton of skilled doctors there."

"Is it far?"

Izuku racked his brain. "We swung by after Whiskey Peaks, and it wasn't much longer than a week."

"It's about four days from Alabasta," Robin added.

Nami laid it out on her map and made circles signifying all the distances they knew. "So, knowing all that, it's at most two days from here."

"But that'll be another week at least!" Vivi protested. "That'll give Crocodile more time to prepare for us."

"It's fine." Luffy leaned against a wall, arms crossed, glaring out over the deck. "Doesn't matter what he does, we're going to kick his ass. Set course for Drum Kingdom."

Nami swiped the Eternal Pose off the table. "Aye, captain." As everyone rushed to get the ship turned around, Vivi stepped forward, prepare to argue against it, but Igaram put a hand on her shoulder. Shaking his head, he said, "I don't like it either, but we need to be patient."

"Our people are counting on us," she snapped.

"I know. My wife's still there, after all."

Vivi bit back her anger. With a sigh, she ran to help haul the sails into position.

After a few tense days watching over Mei, they arrived. Drum Kingdom seemed much more desolate than Izuku remembered. The snow on its streets was trampled down instead of shoveled, and the houses had loose timbers and roofs in need of patching.

As they sailed in, a tall, stocky man in a fur-lined green tunic ran out to meet them. He had a giant spade slung over one shoulder, and its edges looked sharp enough to cut. His head was wrapped in clean bandages, and one arm was in a splint.

"You better turn around. We already have enough trouble with the Blackbeard pirates, and we don't want any more."

Izuku rushed forward and said, "We're just here for a doctor. Is anyone available, like Hiriluk?"

Dalton looked surprised, but the expression morphed into quiet grief. "Dead. Just about all the other doctors are either dead or gone, with Wapol."

Izuku looked over his bandages. "Those look professionally done."

"Well, Doctor Kureha's still kicking."

Izuku grinned. "Perfect. Where is she?"

"She's in the castle atop the mountain. There's a lift up there in town, but with the Blackbeard Pirates holed up there, it's probably safer to make the climb. The Lapahns are tough, but those pirates are worse."

Zoro and Sanji held either end of Mei's stretcher, while Izuku and Luffy took the lead. Dalton showed them up the steep rocky slopes and spotted the Lapahn ambush. After a few punches, the carnivorous rabbits scurried off, leaving the Straw Hats alone for the rest of the climb.

Perched atop the mountain, Drum Kingdom's white castle loomed starkly over a blue horizon. Luffy, undaunted by the harsh mountain winds or the castle's imposing appearance, strode up to the doors and pounded until snow shook off the walls.

"Hey, old lady doctor!" Luffy roared. "My friend is sick!"

Luffy kept pounding until the door swung inward. Luffy glanced around, confused. "Old lady? Are you in there?"

"D-down here…"

Hiding his head behind the doorway but leaving the rest of his body out, a humanoid reindeer peered shyly at them.

"You said your friend is sick?"

Luffy drooled. "Food! I'm starving!"

The reindeer shrieked and slammed the door. Izuku grabbed Luffy by the collar of his shirt and slammed him face-first into a snowdrift. Knocking more gently this time, Izuku shouted, "I'm sorry about that, and I promise he won't eat you. Could you please help my friend? We were told Doctor Kureda was here. She should remember me, she stitched up my shoulder a while back."

After a moment, the door opened a crack. "Really?"

Izuku turned around and pulled down his shirt. A long scar, left by Whitebeard's naginata, drew a thick white line halfway down his back.

"If you need to go get her, she might still remember me."

Chopper studied him for a moment. Then he said, "Let me see her."

Izuku stood tense, fingers twitching, as Chopper put a hoof on Mei's head. "I don't recognize this one. Where did she pick this up?"

"Littlegarden."

Chopper hissed through his teeth. "Bring her in. I'll check the books."

The Straw Hat crew gawked at the shamanic decorations, standing in sharp contrast to the elegant carvings on the stone walls. Usopp's teeth chattered, and he rubbed his arms. "It's freezing in here! Don't you have a fireplace or something?"

"The sick bay is heated. Takes too much wood to heat up anything else."

Izuku and Chopper carefully laid Mei out on the bed. While he mixed up a poultice, Chopper grilled Izuku on everything he did for her.

"Not bad, given you didn't know what you were dealing with," Chopper said as he dabbed the green sludge over the bite on Mei's arm. "Who did you study under?"

"Crocus."

Chopper's face brightened. "Really? Doctor Kureda told me all about him. She said he's the only doctor crazier than she is. Could even give Hiriluk a run for his money."

Suddenly, Chopper's mood plummeted. He glanced nervously at the pirates crammed into the room and said, "E-excuse me. I'll go get a doctor."

As Chopper left, Nami asked, "Aren't you a doctor?"

Chopper went "Eep!" and ran even faster.

"So," Sanji said, "We came all this way, just to get a deer."

Zoro leaned against a wall and closed his eyes. "What, disappointed they weren't a busty babe?"

"I'm more disappointed we're entrusting the life of sweet precious Mei-chwan to a flea-ridden animal!"

"Chopper has fewer fleas than you mangy mutts."

The argument stopped cold as Doctor Kureha entered the room, with Chopper nervously hiding behind her. She inspected the poultice on Mei's arm and nodded approvingly at Chopper.

"Haven't had a challenge like this in a few decades. Should be fun." Her eyes trailed over the pirates until she spotted Izuku. "Well. If I didn't know better, I'd say you figured out my secret to staying youthful."

"Is your secret time travel?" Izuku asked.

Kureha blinked at that. "Haven't heard that one before. But, considering who you sailed with, I shouldn't be surprised."

Izuku looked out the window, at the run-down village at the foot of the mountain. "What happened here? This place looked much nicer last time."

"Wapol happened," Kureha said sourly. "He drove off most the doctors, killed the ones that refused his orders, and kept the ones with the weakest backbones for himself. To make matters worse, Wapol scurried off when the Blackbeard Pirates showed up and overran the town's militia. Now I'm the only doctor left, there's hundreds of wounded men in town, and the Blackbeards ransacked my hut." She gave a feral grin and cackled. "So, I moved here!"

"Do you have what you need to help her?" Izuku asked.

"Ah, don't fret. Wapol kept his doctors well supplied."

Doctor Kureha pulled back the sleeve on Mei's arm. The bite had taken on a ghastly shade of purple, spreading along her veins up her arm. "Your friend has Five-Day disease. Luckily, you made it early enough that she shouldn't have any cardiovascular damage after treatment." She flipped Mei's wrist and plunged a syringe into her vein.

"Now, let's talk payment." Nami's face scrunched up, and she gave a glance at the door. Doctor Kureha gave her a sharp look and said, "Before you get any funny ideas about running off, that was only the first dose. She'll need a few more before she flushes the disease out of her system."

"We don't have any gold," Nami said sharply.

"Good thing I don't need any then. What I need is for someone to drive off the Blackbeard pirates. Agree to do that, and I'll throw the key to the castle's armory into the bargain."

Nami's eyes lit up at the prospect of loot, and Usopp grinned upon hearing how many cannons they had.

"Blackbeard took your stuff, old lady?" Luffy asked.

"Brat. Weren't you listening?"

"Shishishi, nope!"

Doctor Kureha sighed. "Yes, he did."

"Got it. I'll kick his ass."

"As for my second request," Kureha began. Nami snapped at her, and Kureha snapped back, "Oh, pipe down. You're getting the whole armory. The least you can do is take Chopper with you as a crewmate."

"What!" Chopper roared.

"You heard me. It's time to leave the nest, brat."

"But, but-" Chopper's eyes darted around the room and fell on Izuku. "They already have a doctor, they don't need me!"

"Their 'doctor' is about as useful as a sugar pill."

Izuku winced at the insult, but he couldn't find any way to argue with her. Chopper found no arguments either. Mouth opening and closing and tears welling in his eyes, Chopper gave Kureha a long, betrayed look before shifting into deer form and leaping out the window. He landed in a disgraceful heap in the snow, scrambled out of the hole he made, and sprinted down the mountain.

"I don't think he wants to come with us," Zoro pointed out.

Kureha shook her head. "There's nothing left here for him but bad memories. He needs to learn that there's more to the world than this snowy dump."

Luffy, uncharacteristically quiet, simply stared out the window after Chopper's hoofprints. After a short while, he asked, "Old lady, can Chopper also turn into a cool giant monster?"

"He hates that word, but yes." She looked out the window and blanched. "Oh, tell me that idiot isn't attacking the Blackbeards."

"That idiot isn't attacking the Blackbeards," Luffy dutifully parroted back.

Kureha shot him a withering look and tossed Nami the key to the armory. "Take what you need and save him. Hurry."

Luffy catapulted himself out the window, and Izuku was a second behind him. Swearing to themselves, Zoro and Sanji jumped out seconds later.

Usopp and Nami, left alone with Doctor Kureha, shared a look and ran for the armory. Upon viewing the enormous arsenal of cannons, rifles pistols, swords, and other weapons, Nami said, "How are we going to fit this all on the Merry?"

"Forget that! How are we going to get this all down the mountain?"

"Take the sleigh," Kureha said. "Chopper normally pulls it, but gravity should get you down at least." As an afterthought, she added with a chuckle, "Assuming you don't run into a tree, hit a rock, or fall into a ravine."

Down in Bighorn, Chopper coughed up blood as Jesus Burgess drove a fist into his gut. Sinking to one knee, Chopper looked up with blurry vision as he struggled to rise. He hadn't known what had gotten into him, running into town to beat up the Blackbeards, but he couldn't let Doctor Kureha kick him out. Was she still mad about what he did to Hiriluk? Did she hate him like everybody else?

He reached for another Rumble Ball, but a foot kicked him in the side, knocking the medicine from his hand. "That was fun," Burgess said, smirking, "But I think it's time we taught you some manners. Lesson one, don't spill my drink!"

Chopper yelped as a foot launched him into the air.

"Lesson two, don't punch a pirate while their back is turned."

A fist crashed down on his back, driving him into the ground. Chopper coughed and weakly pushed himself up, only to get grabbed by the throat and hoisted into the air.

"And lesson three, no one messes with the Blackbeard Pirates."

Burgess squeezed, and Chopper felt his vision growing dark. Just as he was about to pass out, calculating how long he had before permanent brain damage, a fist stretched out of nowhere and punched Burgess' arm. The pirate yelped and dropped Chopper to the ground.

He took a sweet, sweet gulp of fresh air and blearily looked around for his savior. For a second, he thought he saw Hiriluk, grinning like a loon, skull and crossbones waving in the breeze and sakura blossoms drifting around him. The image faded, and the only remainder of it was the grin, plastered on Luffy's face.

Burgess rubbed the swollen lump on his cheek and smirked at Luffy. "Well, what do we have here? Some scrawny twerp thinks he can take me on?"

Blackbeard gave Luffy a more speculative look. "Burgess, be careful with that one. He's a Roger Pirate."

"The one on that fresh batch of bounty posters?" Burgess cracked his knuckles. "Sounds like fun."

Blackbeard rolled his eyes. "Don't get too cocky. You keep rubber boy busy, while I deal with the green kid."

Chopper wondered what he meant by 'green kid'. He got his answer when a viridian blur lunged out of the sky and landed neatly in front of him. Izuku cracked his knuckles and asked, "Right, which one of you am I fighting?"

Blackbeard opened a palm. A black void drank in the light around it, and Izuku planted his feet to keep from getting sucked by it.

"Incredible, isn't it, what Devil Fruits can do?" Blackbeard asked. "This is the Yami Yami no Mi, the greatest of them. Think you have what it takes to beat it?"

Izuku narrowed his eyes. The black void exerted gravity like a dark hole. If he tried attacking head-on, he'd get sucked right in like the snow and specks of dirt. Izuku glanced at the manacles on his wrists. The metal had saved him from the paint, but the wax still trapped him. He didn't dare gamble his life on the metal, but at the same time, lightning would get sucked in just like everything else.

Stars and planets exerted gravity. Izuku checked the area around them, which stood vacant. He tested himself against the artificial gravity and found he could just barely fight it.

"Thinking of running away? I thought Roger had higher standards."

Izuku checked his grip on the ground. Then he bounded towards Blackbeard, letting the gravity boost his speed. As the distance closed, the force on him grew stronger and stronger, until he couldn't stop if he tried. Instead, at the last second, he shoved himself sideways and kicked Blackbeard in the gut. Blackbeard wheezed and reached for Izuku, but his momentum carried him past and away from the black hole's gravity.

Blackbeard chuckled hoarsely and wiped blood from his mouth. "Not bad. You're definitely a man worth his bounty. But I wonder, how will you handle this?"

Blackbeard raised both hands. His crew cleared away as the surrounding buildings tore apart timber by timber, sailing into the void. Izuku dug his feet into the ground, but Chopper lost his grip. Seeing him about to get swallowed, Izuku sprinted forward. Between Soru and the strong gravity, Izuku flitted across the ground too fast for the eye to track. His feet left the ground and Izuku felt space warping around him, but just before he got sucked in, he grabbed Blackbeard's shoulders, digging the manacles into his neck.

The void faltered, and gravity returned to normal. Blackbeard buckled under Izuku's weight, but he snarled and reached for a knife. Izuku headbutted him, cracking Blackbeard's nose and making him stumble back.

"A devil fruit user wearing Sea Prism?" Blackbeard asked incredulously. "What's the point of that?"

"It worked, didn't it?" Izuku reaffirmed his statement with another headbutt. "Are you going to give up?"

"Against someone afraid of their own power?" Blackbeard grinned, his visage all the more horrifying for the blood running across it. "Not a chance. I won't lose to someone who throws away their greatest strength."

Izuku wondered what he meant when he felt a prickle behind his neck. He leapt away on instinct, just as a bullet tore through the space his head once occupied.

The Blackbeards' marksman frowned and rubbed their crosshair eye. "Almost had him."

"Thanks for the save, Van Augur!" Blackbeard held out a hand, this time targeting Chopper. Izuku scowled and ran forward, but more bullets held him back.

"You've done enough to my captain." Van Augur loaded another round into his rifle. "I'm your opponent now."

Another bullet flew down from the mountain and slammed Van Augur's rifle aside. The marksman glared up the mountain and said, "Sloppy shot. They never accounted for the Coriolis effect."

While Van Augur played cat-and-mouse with sniper Usopp in the mountains, Izuku ducked under a cane swung at him. Lafitte barred his way, only to block a sword swung at him.

"You're no swordsman," Zoro growled, "But you'll have to do."

A sick man, draped over an equally sick horse, threw an apple at Izuku. Feeling a sudden sense of danger, Izuku leapt away as the apple exploded beneath him.

Doc Q chuckled and wheezed. "A lucky dodge, that one. Let's see how well your luck holds out."

Another apple flew, and Sanji kicked it into the air. He flicked a cigarette into the snow and said, "That's an awful waste of food right there."

"Then by all means, have some. Make a pie, even." Doc Q grinned and threw another apple. "Just don't blame me if it gives you a stomachache."

Izuku glanced around the chaotic battle and saw, a second too late, that Blackbeard had grabbed Chopper by the neck and pointed a pistol just under an antler. Chopper stood still as a statue, face frozen in a terrified expression, with snot and tears dribbling down his face.

"Everyone, stop!" Blackbeard roared. "Or the raccoon dog gets it."

Luffy paused, fist frozen above Burgess' face. He pouted and backed off, letting the bruised and bloodied wrestler get back to his feet. Zoro had his swords locked against a cane, Sanji had a leg raised as an apple exploded overhead, and Van Augur kept his scope trained on the boulder Usopp had hidden behind.

Looking around at the frozen pirates, Blackbeard said, "I think we all got off on the wrong foot. Why don't we start over?"

Luffy scratched his head. "You want to start the fight over?"

"We could do that," Blackbeard said, "Or we could come to an agreement."

"Mmh, I dunno, fighting was fun."

Blackbeard cocked the pistol. Luffy glared and asked, "What do you want?"

"I want to be one of the seven Warlords of the Sea. Now, I had planned on giving the Marines a prize too good to refuse, and quite frankly, you fit the bill perfectly."

Both Zoro and Sanji tensed at this, ready to sprint for Blackbeard at a moment's notice. Blackbeard's own men moved to bar the way.

"However, the Marines aren't looking for a new Warlord right now. What I need is for one of the Warlords to have a little accident. And you, Luffy, look like an accident waiting to happen."

While Luffy looked confused, Izuku had connected the dots. "You want us to take down Crocodile."

"Couldn't help but notice you were sailing with Princess Vivi and her bodyguards, and Crocodile's right hand woman to boot. From what I see, you were gunning for him already."

"And once we're done dealing with him, then you're going to come after us?"

Blackbeard made a so-so gesture with his hand. "I had someone else in mind before your bounties showed up. And since they'll come to me, I don't see why I should go through the trouble of tracking you down. So, I give you all the information on Crocodile and his Devil Fruit, and you let me and my boys leave, then take him down. Do we have a deal?"

The Straw Hats all looked at Luffy. He had a pinched expression, and his fists balled up. He looked at Chopper and said, "And you let Chopper go."

Blackbeard looked at the reindeer quivering in his hand and rolled his eyes. "Yes, fine, you can have your pet back."

Luffy relaxed and said, "Deal."

The two crews settled down for an uneasy truce, with Sanji and Lafitte arguing over spices as they made lunch. Once Blackbeard told them all about Crocodile's weakness to water and his ability to absorb moisture right out of a person's body, a combination Izuku puzzled over, Blackbeard finished by saying, "You might want to get moving. I've been paying attention to the Marines, and there's been movement towards Alabasta. Something tells me Crocodile called in the cavalry."

Luffy laughed and said, "Then we'll beat the horses too."

Blackbeard's ship left to the quiet cheers of the locals, and with everyone wishing them well. Once Mei got back on her feet and Chopper said his goodbyes with Doctor Kureha, the Going Merry left with thunderous applause, following the heading on the Eternal Pose straight for Alabasta.

A/N: I might have chocolate stains around my mouth and another five pounds on my gut, but I got a chapter done in my standard timeframe. Operation pavlov-condition-myself-into-writing-more has thus far been a resounding success.

So, another continuity issue cropped up. When I started this, I wanted an earlier confrontation with Blackbeard for de lolz, since I remembered that they were in Drum at some point. When I came up with the outline, I thought 'with Izuku & Luffy prepared and knowing about Log Poses and all that, they can trim some time off the journey, right?' Well, I did some math. They start out at Loguetown and canonically arrive in the Grand Line on the same day. It took them one day to make it to Whiskey Peaks, they spent the night there, then pushed on to Littlegarden. That journey is an unknown length, but at the same time, they followed their Log Pose. They spent one night there, then sailed aimlessly to Drum. My thought was to argue that wandering into Drum took them a while, long enough for Blackbeard to leave. Thing is, Nami had Five Day fever. That meant the Straw Hats spent at most four days getting to Drum.

In short, I can at best shave three days off the canonical journey since they never stayed at Littlegarden in my story. So, let's just handwave and say that time travel changed the continuity of the story a bit, because I really don't want to redo my whole outline, and just doing Wapol over again sounds boring. Not to mention, Blackbeard's the perfect foil for someone reluctant to use their Devil Fruit.

I've got the week off, which either means I'll get a metric ton of writing done, or I'll spend the whole time goofing off. I might have to get a bigger bag of chocolate…