It has been four days, and she was growing impatient. Lisa was even starting to take it personally. It was personal; this was their big news, and four days with NOTHING. After four months of keeping this secret, she was not sure why another four days was bothering her so much, but finally, things were in place; they'd agreed to tell the family once Amy returned home. She was home, and they still hadn't shared their big news.
Oh, Lisa had tried. She'd tried to give him a lead, she'd tried to be patient, and she'd tried to be understanding. She knew that Jack should be the one to actually announce it to the family. She'd given him a lead in the night Amy had come home. He'd purposely avoided it, and to be honest, she felt like his excuse of not stealing Amy's thunder was his getting cold feet, of chickening out. Lisa had told her sister and Ben right away, even though she and her sister weren't that close. They hadn't been for a few years now, since her sister's divorce. Lisa had tried reaching out, but her sister had closed off from people, one of the reasons Lisa had taken in Ben for so long. She had thought her sister would rebound to her usual self after getting over the divorce. Lisa definitely knew that took time, her own experiences for sure, but all these years later, the sisters just didn't have that close of a relationship. Still, she had told her, and her sister had been happy for her. Ben had too, even said he really needed to plan a visit. She didn't expect that from him anytime soon; he was a young professional living abroad, but she appreciated the gesture. She'd done her part, both in telling her family and in trying to offer Jack a lead in telling everyone at home.
The thing was, Lisa was getting concerned Jack didn't want to tell everyone, and she wasn't sure why. It was starting to make her a little uncertain about everything. The last few months had been truly wonderful, the best of her life, to be honest, but the second the entire family was back home, she felt that dynamic shift. She couldn't put her finger on it. Jack had gone home to Fairfield with her Lisa's first night back from Florida, and she'd really appreciated that, exhausted as she was. The second night, the night Amy was back home, he'd asked if she wanted to stay there at Heartland. Originally, she had planned to do so, knowing the whole family would know their news by then, and it wouldn't feel like the two of them were under the microscope. After he'd avoided the conversation-their big news, she'd decided to go home for the evening, feeling a bit deflated with the entire situation. He'd had a chance to tell everyone! He hadn't done it, and instead, he'd started talking about Georgie taking on responsibilities at the ranch. No, that night, she'd been right to go home. The house was just too full, and she needed to think. Jack didn't seem to believe there was any problem, and that bothered her a little. Wasn't he excited? He didn't seem to be all of a sudden, and why was that? He'd proposed to her. He'd married her. He'd seemed to enjoy these last few months very much, just as she had. He'd spent every evening while she was in Florida talking to her on that iPad she'd set up for him. Something had changed, and she didn't know what. There were too many variables with her returning from Florida and the whole family back under one roof.
The day after Amy's return, she'd been hopeful they could share their news, but Jack had called her mid-morning to tell her that there wasn't going to be a dinner at the house. Amy had decided to have dinner with Ty, and again, she wasn't sure if that was Amy's doing or Jack avoiding the situation again. What was worse was that Jack hadn't offered any dinner suggestion for the two of them. Sure, she knew they had agreed to keep both houses and continue their lives as they had, but often, if she wasn't traveling or just completely swamped with Fairfield, she ate dinner with him. So, she'd not pressed him on dinner, and instead seemed to get more and more anxious by the minute.
The next day, Lisa had decided to take matters into her own hands, dropping by with the champagne. She'd been upfront with Jack, and he had agreed to tell everyone that night, but she certainly didn't think he was that excited about it. He'd not even been all that excited to see her, seeming more interested in his paper than the fact she'd come to the house. Well, that evening had blown up too with Amy and Ty going rounds about several things, the latest being his buying a truck. To be honest, it was all making her dizzy, the young love arguing, not that she was doing much better in that department. Apparently, "old" love, as in age and not necessarily longevity, was stubborn and not interested in change. That was the vibe she was getting. Even at dinner, she'd tried glancing at Jack, but he'd not looked her way much. No, something was off, and she'd left that evening too, going home, and Jack hadn't said much of anything.
Lisa was worried her old, stubborn, cowboy was starting to have second thoughts, and that scared her. It really scared her, and she didn't know how to talk about it with him or what to even do because the thought of that, of Jack having second thoughts and not wanting her, well, the idea of it just devastated her. She'd come back from France and taken him back again, sure this was their way forward. He'd proposed, something she hadn't expected but welcomed with every ounce of herself. They'd gotten married. The ghosts of the past seemed to be behind them, whether in the form of hauntings of Lyndy, Jack concerned about his age versus hers, their different lifestyles and fitting into each other's world-all of the things they'd conquered over the last almost eight years-she thought they'd climbed that mountain, but now, she was just so unsure of everything.
Now, though, this new day, she just wanted to spend time with Jack, to get some idea of what was going on with him. She missed spending time with him, and she hated how the last few evenings had gone. She'd felt rejected and unimportant. She'd felt left out of what was now her family too. She'd felt like just some outcast, overlooked and well, at the same time, as someone who was just always there, waiting in the wings. She didn't want to just wait in the wings. She wanted a marriage to Jack, the man despite everything that frustrated her, she adored and loved with every bone in her body. BUT-she couldn't force him to feel the same or want the same thing, and that now scared her.
So, today, she was set on spending time with him and NOT bringing up anything that was bothering her about all of this. She didn't want to fight. She didn't want an excuse. She really wanted him to step up at home with his own family and announce their news. It was almost a make or break-there shouldn't be another excuse tonight.
As Lisa drove across the field, her mind wandered to the last time she'd helped Jack with this particular task in this particular part of Heartland, and that didn't settle her stomach either. She'd texted him earlier to find out where he was, and he'd told her he was mending fencing. She actually enjoyed doing that, and she told him she'd stop out and see him. So, armed with her work gloves and in jeans and her work clothes, she pulled up alongside his truck, hopeful that today's fence mending would go better than their last time. Fence mending-ironic in that they actually were mending a fence, but maybe they had more to mend. She felt like they did, but she wasn't sure what was so off.
"Morning," she called to him after getting out of the car and walking toward him, her work gloves in hand. He stopped working and smiled over at her.
"Well, good morning to you. What do I owe the pleasure?"
She shook her head, "Just wanted to spend some time with you, and as you pointed out before, I am pretty decent with barbed wire. I can fix a fence."
He chuckled and nodded, standing up and leaning down to kiss her as she approached him. She nodded, grateful at least he seemed happy she was there. "What can I do?"
He nodded to his work belt on his waist, "If you get those fence plyers there, you can help me over here." Jack had a set of wires in his hands, so she jumped in and grabbed the plyers to get started.
The two worked quietly for a few minutes, enjoying the mid-morning summer skies. It was warm, but not hot, breezy, but not windy, and quiet, but not silent. Finally, she caught him glancing at her, and she shook her head.
"What?" Jack asked.
She shook her head again, "Nothing, just thinking of the major blowup we had the last time we mended fence out here together. That was a long time ago."
He paused, and she could tell he was replaying all of that in his mind too, finally nodding with a sheepish look at her, "I hated how we left things that day, and I hated even more that I wasn't upfront with you from the start about France. I know it's a long time ago, but I have actually thought about that same moment a few times out here mending fencing. I have to say," he offered her a small smile, "I'm really glad to see you today and replace that memory with you helping me right now."
She raised her eyebrows slightly at him, wondering how he could be so sweet but still confusing her so much right now. She'd always told people Jack wasn't a mystery; Jack was what you saw, but right now, she was convinced he was more of a mystery than she'd ever imagined because she had no idea what was going on with him.
"I'm glad to help," she snapped out of her thoughts and answered him with a small smile. She caught him just looking at her, and with her response, he turned back to twisting the barbed wire. "Oh, I brought some coffee and muffins I made if and when you are ready for a break. I'm not sure how long you've been out here."
He glanced up, raising his eyebrows now, "You have coffee and muffins?"
"Homemade," she said with a shake of her head and small smile.
He nodded and gestured to the truck, "I would love some right now if you don't mind. I've been out here since after 7. I meant to go back in and get some breakfast, but I just got to working and didn't want to stop. What time is it anyway?"
"After 10 now," she frowned at him. "Jack, with as hard as you work around here, I don't have to tell you it's important you don't skip meals."
"I know, I know," he waved his hand as he took off his gloves. Lisa handed him the wire plyers, and she started back to her car. "Had I known you hadn't eaten, I would have brought something more substantial."
"No," he grinned at her, "your muffins sound perfect." Jack walked to his truck and put down the tailgate. Lisa grabbed her bag of food and found a blanket in her trunk, and soon, they'd set out a nice little morning picnic.
"This really hits the spot," he nodded, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Thank you. Amy's been in a mood, as you've seen, and she was out at the barn by 5:30 this morning. To be honest, I started on my chores, and she was complaining how I wasn't doing things right, things I've been doing for more years than she's been alive, and I just decided to let her stew and came on out here. It's been nice and quiet out here, and I'm loving it, the quiet."
"Oh," she frowned, glancing at him and gesturing, "if I'm interrupting your peace and quiet."
"No," he shook his head, eyeing her, "I didn't say that. I'm glad to see you this morning. Things have been pretty crazy these last few days."
"Hmm, yes," she said, quietly answering and nodding. She felt like Jack had almost proposed an opening there, an opening for him to offer up his apologies of the last few days or some sort of reasonable explanation, but with a quick side eye glance, she didn't see him doing any such thing. He was quiet, looking around and eating his muffin. So, as hard as it was for her, Lisa stayed quiet too. She continued to replay their major blowup here about France, and she was determined to not say anything. Oh, what that would have done back then, had she actually stayed quiet about the house as she'd promised Jack. Sure, the truth would have come out, but well, she didn't know if anything would have really been different, but today, she was going to stay quiet.
"Mmm, these oatmeal muffins are delicious, Lise. I really appreciate you making them."
"My favorite, you know," she shrugged. "It's a comfort food for me, and I have been wanting to make them for a few weeks. Glad you are enjoying them."
He nodded, glancing at her, "You'll be at dinner tonight, yes?"
She gave a single nod, "I'll be at dinner."
"Good," he offered a soft smile. "You left quickly after dinner last night. I have missed our evenings, talking to you over wine and coffee in the evening."
Lisa leaned back, turning more to face him and nodded, "Well," she said, sipping at her coffee now, "as you pointed out, Amy has been in a strange mood, and last night when Ty showed up with that new truck, it just seemed like it was a lot for the house. The two of them seem to have plenty to work out."
"Yeah," he sighed. "I tried talking to her, and she thinks everyone has changed, everyone except herself, of course. I told her nothing stays the same, whether we like it or not. We all make choices, good and bad ones, even if they all seem good at the time. We have to live with that and adapt. I think she's trying to figure that out."
Lisa almost grimaced as Jack spoke. She didn't like the sound of it, but with a quick glance at him, she didn't notice he had any sort of ulterior motive or was directing the comment at her. Still, with the uncertainty she had right now and the fact they still had this secretly hidden marriage, she just wasn't feeling like this was going well.
"Didn't sleep well last night," Jack sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. She was studying him as he spoke, and Jack finally looked over at her, "Must have been some coyotes in the area. I kept hearing them all night."
Lisa nodded, and while that was a very good reason for Jack not sleeping, she had kind of hoped he would have been sweet and said he wasn't sleeping because she wasn't there. Instead, she offered him a sympathetic smile, "Well, maybe if we get this done, you can get in a nap this afternoon, that is if the house is quiet enough for one. It's been pretty loud with everyone these last few days. Amazing how the dynamics change with people in and out of that place."
"It is," he nodded in agreement, "and yes, a nap sounds really good right now. I'd say with my wonderful surprise helper," he patted her knee, "we should be able to finish in a half hour or so. I mean, she is very good with barbed wire. I've seen it with my own eyes, a classy lady full of surprises."
Lisa grinned with a small laugh as she nodded, "Hmm, yes, well, I'm glad I can help. I have a video meeting with a stable in Kentucky this afternoon. They are interested in possibly setting up a partnership with one of my stud horses, so I can help for another hour or so, but I'll have to get to my meeting after that."
"Okay then," he said with a quick nod. "Now that I've had some nourishment, in fact from this same wonderful helper," he winked, "we can get back to work and finish up here. Jack stepped down from the truck tailgate and turned to Lisa sitting there, stepping in between her legs and wrapping his arms around her with a soft smile. "Thank you for coming out here today." He pushed a stray hair from her face and leaned in to kiss her sweetly, stepping back with a wink at her. He started toward the fence, putting on his gloves, glancing back with a nod and a smile at her.
There he was again, the cowboy she loved with the sweet side others didn't see. Her cowboy, though, still giving off so many mixed signals. What in the world was going on? Would tonight be any different?
Oh, it would be, yes. Tonight would be different. She was determined to put everything out in the open even if she had to just blurt it out. It was high time in so many ways. She couldn't take the uncertainty anymore, and she really needed to know why Jack was suddenly so evasive with everything. No, she wasn't going to continue like this without him saying anything. It was time.