Happy Easter!

England

Linka hadn't been herself all morning. Typically, she was a morning person, but she had seemed irritable from the time they woke up. She barely touched her breakfast, which Wheeler gladly finished for her. By the time they got to the doctor's office, her one-word answers had turned to complete silence. She was in a world of her own, distracted and distant. Wheeler had given up on attempting to cheer her up or get her to talk. He realized he was only making things worse. He quickly found that all he needed to do was be there for her. Something as simple as holding her hand in the waiting room had done wonders for her mood. She even managed to smile.

Once Linka had finished being examined, Wheeler was allowed back into the exam room with her. Again, conversation is minimal as he sits with her and takes her hand. After a while, he finally asks,

"Did Dr. Sullivan say how long?"

"Nyet. Just that he was going to personally run the tests himself since we came all this way. It led me to believe it would take longer if he had just sent everything to the lab."

"That's good, I guess."

"You do not sound sure?"

He doesn't want to worry her, so he gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I just meant that it's good that he's being so hands on…but after what happened in Russia, I guess I'm not really trusting of doctors."

"Do you think something is wrong? Did you see something that made you suspicious?"

"No Babe. You can relax," he says as he brings her hand to his lips and kisses her knuckles. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I just still feel bad about being the one to suggest going to that clinic in Russia. I know you did your research on this place. Blight's scam has been shut down and there's no evidence that she had any other facilities. I hope he's competent in the lab though…like, maybe the lab techs SHOULD be the ones who run the tests. After all, it's what they do."

"I am sure the doctor knows what he is doing. He is the expert."

"Of course…I know he's just being thorough. I'm just being paranoid."

"I need you to be positive…leave the worrying to me," she says with a half smile.

"You got it, Babe."

He puts his arm around her and pulls her to lean against his side as they wait.

Moments later, the doctor enters.

"Your results are in. I'm sorry Ms. Kovaleva, we didn't get the news we were hoping for. Unfortunately, there is nothing that we can do for you. We do have counselors here that you can speak with and discuss the other options such as adoption, surrogacy, or your partner here can still father a child using a donor egg and…"

Wheeler is surprised by how callous the doctor sounds when delivering bad news. Must be a Brit thing.

"Thank you, Doctor, I will not be needing to speak with any counselors. I am aware of my options."

"Very well then…I'll leave you two here and give you a moment to process. Take as much time as you need."

"Thanks, Doc," Wheeler says as he shakes the specialist's hand. Once the door closes and they are left in private, he goes to her and wraps his arms around her. She's rigid and doesn't return his embrace. He takes that to mean she is just in shock. "I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted this to work. I wanted it for you too…for us."

"There is no 'us,' Wheeler."

"Stop saying that," he says as he pulls back to look at her. "Not after everything we've been through together. Don't give up…not on me and not on your hopes of having a kid."

"YOU are the one who should give up on me!" She yells as she pulls out of his arms.

"I'm not giving up!" He insists. "I want this just as much as you do now."

"Which is exactly why I am not holding you to your promise. You can still be a father…and you will make a great father. I will not be the one that denies you of that. I cannot do it…being reminded every day that you have sacrificed something you want just to be with me? Nyet…I will not let you."

Immediately, he is standing in front of her once again, his hands braced on her shoulders so that she can't turn away from him.

"Don't you dare use that as an excuse to push me away. Every time we've gotten close in the past, you've pushed me away. Well, you can't this time. Too much has happened…too much has changed. There is no doubt in my mind we've got something between us and I'm not walking away from it…I won't let you do it either."

"But you just said you wanted a child just as much as I do…You cannot have that with me. You have to move on. I will not take it personally. I want you to be happy."

His tone softens and he takes a step closer to her, dropping his hands from her shoulders to her hips.

"No, you misunderstood…I wanted this to work just as much as you did…FOR YOU. Would I have loved to have a family with you? Yes. But more than anything else, I just want to be with you. You were worried that no man will want to be with you because of what you CAN'T give them? Well, you don't need to worry about that with me…I already know what you CAN give me…what you HAVE given me."

"I have been nothing but mean to you ever since we met."

"I know that's just an act…a wall that you put up. Believe me Babe, I know a thing or two about putting up walls to protect yourself. I do it too."

"I know…there is your 'tough guy from Brooklyn' persona…and then there is the Wheeler that I have come to know. You have been able to break down my wall and that scares me…but you have also changed me, in a good way...but I cannot think what it is that I have given you?"

He touches his forehead to hers and says,

"Feelings that I've never felt before…about anyone."

He leans down and brushes his lips against hers softly.

She pulls away before it goes too far.

"I cannot do this, not now."

"Right, I'm sorry…too much. I get it…but I'm not giving up without a fight. So, what do you want to do now? Tower of London? Buckingham Palace?"

"Heathrow."

"The airport?"

"Da. I just want to get out of England…It is too painful now."

"Ok. Where are we going next?"

"Away from Europe. Perhaps it is time to make our way to the next continent?"

"Australia? Antarctica?"

"North America. I have always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty."

"You want to go to New York?"

"Da…is that ok with you? I know it is not something you have never seen or done before, but it's the closest non-European place."

"Whatever you want," he says, hoping he did a good job of covering his uneasiness at going to his home. He knew it wasn't going to be as loving and warm as Linka's visit with her family.

To Be Continued…eventually. Taking a break from this one.