It was time for film club, and this week it was Julian's turn. The film he had chosen was IT chapters 1 and 2, since he remembered watching IT the mini-series just a couple of years before he died. The other ghosts had complained and argued until Alison suggested they each choose two films when it was their next turn.
They had just finished watching Chapter 1, with Alison signalling to Kitty, who was behind them, each time something scary was about to happen so she could hide either behind her hands or another ghost.
Alison and Mike were snuggled together on a small 2-seater sofa, with Mary, Thomas and Kitty sitting on stools behind it. Thomas had started the evening sighing dramatically since he had wanted to sit beside Alison, but had quickly forgotten what he was sulking about when he first set eyes on Pennywise and shrieked during Georgie's death scene.
Julian, Robin and both parts of Humphrey were sitting together on a second sofa. Humphrey's head had started the evening on his own lap, but had been dropped once when Robin started clinging onto his arm during a particularly scary scene. Humphrey had then been placed on Robin's lap, until another scene had disturbed the caveman, and poor Humphrey had been thrown across the room and through the TV like a rock trying to hit it's target, almost like a scene from the film. Julian was now holding Humphrey's head on his lap, which disturbed Humphrey slightly since he wasn't quite used to being so up close and personal with Julian's bare legs.
Lady B and Pat were sitting behind them, with Fanny complaining loudly about the 'vulgar language' the teens used and how a 'Lady does not behave like that,' when she saw Beverly hanging out with six boys, making Pat roll his eyes on more than one occasion. The Captain was sitting beside the second sofa on a chair, since they ran out of stools.
The Captain sat with his back straight, his stick laid across his lap and his hands loosely clasped around it. He wasn't the biggest fan of horror films, since he had seen and experienced plenty of horror during his life, but he had nothing better to do, so he stayed and continued watching.
When The Captain saw the kiss between two men, he tightened his grip on his stick, and he made a gasping sound followed by some of his endearing 'Captain noises' as the other ghosts fondly called them. The Captain quickly glanced at the others to see their reactions, but none of the ghosts looked disgusted or repulsed by the sight of two men kissing. Lady B looked as if she was sucking on a lemon, but that was probably more to do with memories of her Husband than anything in the film.
The Captain had just started to relax again when he heard the first Homophobic slur, The 'F' word, a word he was more than familiar with. He closed his eyes for a second, and bit his bottom lip, as he tried to gather his emotions.
It didn't work especially when The Captain heard the sound of someone being hit and his eyes flew open to see the violent hate crime inflicted on a young man just because he loved another. Violence The Captain remembered all too well.
The Captain flinched at each impact as if experiencing the blows himself, and his breathing hitched and then quickened. He suddenly felt overwhelmed as he felt the cold claws of panic start to scratch at his insides, and his body began to shake. The Captain knew that if he was still alive, his heart would be slamming painfully against his ribcage.
Pat was the first to notice the change in The Captain and quickly stood, before rushing over to him. "Cap? You okay mate?" He gently placed his hand on The Captain's shoulder and noticed the Soldier was trembling. "Captain?" he whispered as The Captain's wide eyes started welling up, the deep blue of his irises turning liquid with tears. "Captain?"
When The Captain still didn't reply, Pat gently squeezed his shoulder, eliciting a whimper from the war Captain, which worried Pat greatly. He turned his head and frantically called out, "Alison. Alison it's The Captain. There's something wrong with The Captain."
Alison sat up slightly, and turned her head, her expression full of confusion until she saw The Captain sitting bolt upright like a spring had triggered in his spine, staring into space with tears in his eyes, and his breathing uneven and shaky. "Oh god. Mike turn it off, turn it off now."
"What? Why? I'm watching it," whined Mike.
"Something's wrong with The Captain," Alison said as she jumped up and rushed over to The Captain, who was now surrounded by the other ghosts.
That was all Mike needed as he immediately turned it off and stood up to join Alison, who was kneeling in-front of a chair, her expression filled with panic and worry.
"Captain? Can you hear me? It's Alison." Alison reached out as if she wanted to touch The Captain's hand, and let out a sound of frustration when she remembered that she couldn't.
"What's wrong with The Captain, Alison? Is he dying?" asked a tearful Kitty, sounding terrified.
"Don't be ridiculous, Kitty," said Lady B, trying to sound like she was unbothered by the situation, but the clear fear in her eyes gave her away. "The Captain's already dead."
"But what's wrong with him then? I'm scared. I've never been scared as long as I'm in the same room as The Captain." Kitty sniffled, her hands clasped tightly to her chest. "But he's here now and he's scaring me. Why isn't he answering? What's the matter with him? WHY ISN'T HE WAKING UP?!"
"Maybe we should jab him?" suggested Robin, his own wide eyes staring at The Captain. The fear on the other ghosts faces was clearly reflected on his own. The Caveman had seen a lot in his time, but he had never seen the tough army Captain react in this way. He was probably the strongest and toughest man any of the other ghosts knew, and it clearly worried and unnerved them all to see The Captain like this.
"Nobody is 'jabbing' The Captain," said Alison in a stern voice.
"Yes. Anybody who tries will have me to answer to," said Lady B, turning her coldest glare to each ghost. The Captain was probably the one ghost she was the closest to, the one who brought out her protective instincts, and she wasn't going to stand by and let someone 'jab' him when he clearly needed love instead of violence right now.
As The Captain let out another whimper and flinched as if he had been hit, his hands clenched tightly around his stick and his breathing became more uneven. His wide eyes, which looked as haunted as Button house, were staring at nothing as tears continued to flow, like blood from a wound that can never be fully healed. The deep pain in The Captain's eyes was as clear as words on a page.
Alison could almost feel that pain in her chest as it felt like someone was squeezing her heart in a giant fist. "Oh Captain."
Mike had no idea what was going on, but knew from Alison's reactions that it had to be bad. So until Alison said that The Captain was okay, Mike was going to stay right here with his wife, giving his own silent support to a War Captain he couldn't see but who he had grown to care about.
As another whimper escaped the distraught Captain's trembling lips, an answering cry echoed from Kitty's as tears flowed into her eyes like rain filling the gutters during a storm. Kitty placed her hand gently on The Captain's damp face and wiped his tears with her thumb. "The Captain never cries. Never," she whispered, as her thumb continued its soothing motion of stroking The Captain's cheek, trying to comfort him.
"Maybes he be getting sucked off," suggested Mary, fiddling with her apron nervously.
Julian, who was as worried as the rest of them, couldn't resist trying to lighten up the atmosphere. "He wishes," he joked with a snort.
Thomas turned from The Captain and to Julian, looking unamused. "The Captain doesn't need your feeble attempt at what you call levity."
"It was just a joke," said Julian, attempting to cover up his own worried expression with his usual smirk.
"Now is not the time for your so-called 'jokes'," Thomas told him as his eyes flicked to the struggling Soldier. "The Captain is in distress, and he needs us right now. Your terrible humour is not funny on a normal day and it most certainly is not funny at this traumatic moment."
"I'm more funny than you'll ever be, mate."
Thomas opened his mouth to reply, but Pat stood from his crouch at The Captain's side and turned to the two ghosts before they could get started on one of their petty arguments. "GUYS, IF YOU PLEASE!" When he saw that he had their attention, Pat glared at the pair of them. "That's not important right now. All that matters is The Captain. If you can't be civil, then do it outside. Away from The Captain."
"Pat's right. The Captain doesn't need this right now," said Humphrey, who was being held by Robin. "He needs our support, not you two bickering like a pair of kids going off at each other."
Thomas and Julian glared at each other for a few seconds, before reluctantly nodding and turning their attention to the traumatised war Captain.
A loud cry broke free from The Captain's lips, as a violent shudder wracked his frame. More tears broke free and cascaded down his cheeks.
Alison swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and blinked rapidly as she tried to get rid of her own tears. She started waving her hand in-front of The Captain's face, but the wide teary eyes didn't even blink. She saw The Captain flinch again, but knew it was more to do with whatever memory he was trapped in than the hand waving in-front of him. "Captain? You're alright, Captain. Whatever you're seeing isn't real."
"He looks so scared." Pat was kneeling beside The Captain again, and gently placed his hand on The Captain's left one as it trembled and clenched violently around his stick. "Shh. You're okay, Cap. You're safe," he whispered in a soft voice, stroking the back of The Captain's hand with his thumb, offering his own comfort. "Alison's right, wherever you are in your head, the rest of you is here with us. With your friends... your family."
There wasn't a dry eye in the room as they watched the heart-breaking scene of The Captain struggling with whatever his mind was torturing him with. Even Mike looked teary eyed, from just watching his wife react so emotionally to whatever was happening to The Captain.
"Oh Cap. Okay, I can't watch this anymore. Someone turn me around," murmured Humphrey, his voice trembling with emotion.
"'K-Kay," whispered Robin in a voice gruffer than normal, before he carefully turned Humphrey's head around, so he was cradling him to his chest, and held him like Humphrey was his own personal teddy bear.
"If he nots be sucked off, maybes he be possessed," was Mary's next suggestion, making almost everyone roll their eyes.
"We're all here, Cap. We'll be right here as long as you need us." Pat smiled up at The Captain, even as his eyes watered behind his glasses. "Even Mike's here. He might not be able to see us, but he's here for you too."
"Come back to us, Captain," said Lady B, gently stroking her fingers through The Captain's hair. If anyone saw her, she would deny it ever happened, but if it brought The Captain some comfort, she would run her fingers through his hair all day if that's what it took. It's not like she had anything else to do; Lady B was not leaving until she knew The Captain was okay.
"Maybe I should recite a poem for him?" suggested Thomas, who was unsure of what else to say. "That always cheers me up. Maybe it will bring The Captain joy too."
"If it's one of your poems, that'll probably make the poor guy worse," started Julian.
"Guys please," pleaded Humphrey, his voice slightly muffled by Robin's chest. "Don't start again. The Captain needs us to be here for him, he needs to hear friendly voices, not you two squabbling. And frankly, I don't want to hear it either."
"Maybe one of us should kiss him?" suggested Kitty, still stroking The Captain's cheek.
"You what?" asked a shocked Pat.
"Like in that cartoon film. Sleepy pretty lady. The one Alison watched with me. A handsome prince gave her a kiss and the pretty princess woke up."
"Sleeping Beauty," corrected Alison. "And The Captain's not a Princess. I don't think he'd appreciate getting a kiss from one of you guys right now. No offense." An idea suddenly came into her mind and she hoped it helped soothe The Captain, and make him realise he was safe. It wasn't Christmas, but Alison hoped that it would remind The Captain of a happier time. The first Christmas they all had together as a family.
"In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan. Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone..."
The ghosts and Mike looked at Alison like she was insane, but they soon joined in, in an attempt to bring The Captain back from the Hell he was currently trapped in.
"Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snoo-oo-ooow on snow. In the bleak midwinter, Looo-oong ago..."
When The Captain let out a loud gasp, his breathing jumped slightly, and he finally started blinking, Alison smiled. "There we go. Come on Cap, you can do it."
"...Angels and Archangels, May have gathered there, Cherubim and seraphim throo-ooonged the aaair..."
Pat never took his eyes off The Captain's face, and a smile crossed his own when he saw recognition slowly coming to his friend's face. "Come back to us Cap."
"...If I were a Wise Man, I would do my-y part. Yet what can I give Him..."
"Giii-iiiive my heart." The Captain finished in a low, shaky voice.
"CAPTAIN!" screamed an excited Kitty, making The Captain flinch.
"Kitty!" said Alison in a stern voice. "Calm down. Speak gently. The Captain doesn't need any loud voices right now." Her voice softened as she turned back to The Captain. "Hey Cap, it's good to have you back with us. Can you hear me now?"
The Captain blinked several times as if to clear his vision, and when he saw them all there surrounding him, he cleared his throat in embarrassment and looked down. "I... I... I... Um... I apologise. I didn't mean to ruin the film."
"You didn't ruin anything, Cap," soothed Pat, before looking around at the others. "Did he?"
A chorus of 'No's echoed around the room.
"I'm terribly sorry, Julian. I know you really..."
"It doesn't matter, Captain," Julian interrupted softly. "All that matters is that you're okay."
"Yeah. We's be worried abouts you," said Mary in a whisper, following Alison's advice a little too seriously.
When The Captain opened his mouth again, Pat squeezed his hand. "Whatever you're about to say, don't. We don't care about film club been cut a little short, we care about you."
A fresh wash of tears made The Captain see the faces of his friends as if through the windscreen of a car in a rainstorm, but he quickly blinked them back.
Alison reached for The Captain, before remembering it wouldn't do any good. "Dammit. I wish I could give you a hug right now." She gently placed her hand over The Captain's right one.
The Captain could have sworn he felt the warmth of Alison's fingers. Just for a second, before Alison removed her hand and gave The Captain a smile. The Captain's eyes darted back to the TV, and his shoulders relaxed slightly when he saw the blank screen.
Alison followed The Captain's gaze with her own eyes, and swallowed heavily when she remembered what had started all this. She bit her lip for a second, before nodding to herself, hoping she wasn't going to make things worse. "Did... er... Did something like that happen to you?" Alison asked carefully in her gentlest tone, as if she was talking to a scared and wounded animal that might startle at any moment.
The Captain looked down and stared at his hands like he suddenly found them fascinating as they fiddled with his stick. After several long seconds, The Captain reluctantly gave the tiniest of nods.
Kitty gasped in horror. "Someone hurt our Captain? Oh no. That's terrible," she said as she threw her arms around The Captain's torso.
The Captain, not used to being touched, sat rigidly in his chair. He felt as if spiders were crawling all over him, and he used all his inner strength not to jump up and flee from the room. The Captain felt as if he had worried them all enough, and he didn't want them wasting anymore time on him.
Thankfully the hug didn't last too long, and Kitty reluctantly let The Captain go, and placed her hand on his arm instead.
"Captain," said Alison, and smiled when The Captain's eyes made contact with her own. "There's nothing to be ashamed of anymore and it's no longer a crime. It's safe now and it's okay to love who you want."
The Captain's eyes wandered back over to the blank TV screen. He didn't say a word, but the wounded look in those expressive eyes spoke volumes.
"Okay, there are still some arseholes around who have a problem with it, but its nothing, nothing, compared to what it was like in your time." Alison shook her head angrily. "Behaviour like that is just... it's disgusting and makes me feel sick."
The Captain hunched his shoulders and shrunk in on himself, before he closed his eyes as if he was expecting a blow. A tear slipped free and his bottom lip trembled as he let out a small wounded sound.
Pat stood and placed his arm around The Captain's shoulders comfortingly. "Alison!"
The other ghosts silently moved closer to The Captain, as if drawn by a magnet, and glared at her.
Alison's eyes went wide as she realised how that sounded. "Oh god. I didn't... I didn't mean... I meant what they did. How they attacked him and beat him almost to death just for who he loves. Love is love, Captain. No matter what. You... They can't change who they like or who they love. It's alright to love anyone of any gender. Yo... They can even get married now."
The Captain's eyes fluttered open, and he looked shyly at Alison. "L-Like Clare and Sam?" he asked in a voice as soft as a breeze.
Alison smiled. "Yeah. Like Clare and Sam."
"Really? If I... um.. if two men... if two men loved each other... I... er... They would be allowed to marry as well? That would be alright?"
Alison's smile widened, and her eyes twinkled fondly at The Captain. "Yeah. You... er... I mean... Two men can get married too."
The Captain nodded silently, and looked back down at his hands as if processing what Alison was telling him.
"You're safe here, Cap. I want... need you to remember that you'll always be safe here with us and you're surrounded by people who support you, accept you and who love you no matter what."
"I... I don't know how to. I can't talk about feelings, Alison. It's... I can't."
"It's okay. We'll wait as long as you need. We're your family, Captain and when... if you're ever ready to open up and talk to us, we'll always be here to listen. Always."
The other ghosts nodded silently in unison.
"And me," Mike piped up. "Well okay. I can't listen without Alison, but I'll be here too. I might not be able to see you, but you're just as much a part of my family as my real one. Just say the word and I'll be there like a shot."
"Thank you Michael," whispered The Captain.
Alison grinned. "See? You're safe here, Captain. We're all here for you and we won't let anybody hurt you again."
"Yeah," agreed Pat, who still had his arm around The Captain's shoulders. "Anybody tries to hurt my best mate, I'll punch their bloody lights out."
"And I'll be handing out a bunch of fives," said Julian, holding his fists up in a boxing stance.
Robin nodded enthusiastically, before turning Humphrey's head back around now that the heart breaking scene was over. "Yeah. And me hit them with stick."
"Robin, you haven't got a stick," Thomas reminded him.
"Oh yeah. Me use Captain's stick then," said Robin, pointing at the stick which was clenched tightly in The Captain's hands.
"It's I." Thomas sighed and shook his head as if exasperated by the situation.
"And apparently Thomas will correct their grammar and sigh at them," said Julian, trying to lighten up the moment again.
Thomas was about to respond when he saw The Captain's eyes no longer looked haunted or dull. He saw a light dancing in The Captain's eyes that hadn't been there since his Lieutenant left, and now seemed to shine from inside him like a beacon. For once, Thomas let Julian's comment go, not wanting that distraught, traumatised expression to make it's way back into The Captain's eyes or his face.
"I can't do much," said Humphrey, sounding apologetic. "But I could always bite their ankles while my body held them in place with a bear hug."
An amused sound escaped The Captain's lips, before he could prevent it. And he nodded once at the kind nobleman.
"YEAH! BEAR!" yelled Robin excitedly. "But Bear not be huggy. My cousin learn hard way."
"Ooh. Um... Me and Mary could um..." Kitty's expression fell as she failed to come up with something. "Ooh. I can't think of anything. I don't like fighting, but we'll join in too, won't we Mary?"
"Yes. I don't likes to start fights, but I's finish them if I has to."
"A lady doesn't participate in acts of violence, but even I would be giving them more than a stern talking to." Lady B ignored the shocked expressions turned in her direction and looked down at The Captain with kind eyes, her fingers still entangled gently in his hair. "You're our family. Our Captain and we won't stand idly by and let anybody hurt one of our own."
A fond spark ignited in The Captain's eyes as his lips twitched at the corners in a barely there smile. "Thank you Fanny."
Lady B winked, and her nose scrunched up slightly as she gave The Captain a smile back in return. It lasted only a second, before she straightened her posture and smoothed her face into her usual stern expression as if nothing had happened.
A silence filled the room as The Captain silently debated with himself. He had never opened up to these people, he always found it hard to share with others how he was feeling. A trait that had followed him from life, and continued in death.
The Captain had spent his whole life, and after, building his thick steel barrier to outside interference, locking away his feelings and emotions and barricading them, hiding them from those who tried to be his "friend," preventing them from touching his heart, preventing them from hurting him. Only one person had ever come close to getting past just one layer of that barrier. But after he left him, The Captain made sure to never let anyone get past it again and made sure to build the barrier higher and thicker than it ever was.
Emotions made him weak. 'I shall miss you, Havers'.
The Captain felt a strange sensation in his chest, and his face twitched slightly, but that was the only outward reaction he gave to the thoughts and feelings swirling inside him.
Emotions brought pain, even more than physical pain. 'I'm afraid I'm leaving you, sir.'
The Captain squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying to block out the kind smile and brown eyes that had haunted him almost as much as he haunted Button House.
Emotions made you feel things you didn't want to admit. 'I was just thinking about you, actually.'
But maybe... maybe it was time to let someone in...
Emotions should stay buried. 'You must take that emotion, and you must bury it. Never let it out.'
...Even if it was just one layer instead of a full barrier...
Emotions hurt. 'He left me.'
...Maybe it was time.
"I was seventeen. No, that was when I joined the Army. Fifteen. I was fifteen," whispered The Captain, his eyes never leaving his hands as they fiddled nervously with his stick. "There was a... someone. They were my age. We knew each other most of our lives. And as we grew older, I felt..." The Captain shook his head. "I don't know. It was something I'd never felt before, and I think I've only ever felt once since."
"What happened?" asked Alison in a watery voice, the emotion in her voice matching the emotion on her face.
If The Captain looked around, he would have seen the same expression on each face looking at him with love, compassion and sympathy. But he didn't think he could get through the story if he looked up at the others, so he kept his eyes down.
"We were always together. Always having fun, always laughing. H-H... um... They always made me laugh. I don't remember a time when I wasn't smiling around... them." The Captain's lips twitched slightly at the corners as if he couldn't help smiling just thinking about his friend. But the twitching stopped as his memories continued and took a darker turn.
"There was a group of boys and young men in our neighbourhood who liked to hang around the park. The same park my friend and I would go through to get home." The Captain paused for a second, trying to get his bearings. "One day, we were walking home. I was walking close to my friend's side, I remember my hand brushing against theirs, and smiling at something they said. Then I heard... I heard a voice behind us."
When The Captain's voice wobbled, Pat stroked his thumb against the back of The Captain's hand again, hoping it would remind him of his friend and not the terrible event they were going to hear about.
"I didn't even get the chance to turn around when someone hit me around the head with a cricket bat and knocked me down. They kicked me, stomped on me, punched me, beat me with cricket bats." The Captain clenched his jaw and shook his head as if that would get rid of the images of that one night. A night that would always forever haunt him. As if that was his punishment. "No matter how many times I asked them to stop... pleaded with them really, they wouldn't. They called me terrible names. They... they even laughed as if they were having the time of their lives..."
As Alison listened to The Captain's story, she didn't notice the tears streaming down her cheeks or Mike looking at her with a concerned expression. "Oh Cap," she whispered as she let out a sob, which was muffled by the palms of her hands.
The Captain's eyes shimmered with more tears as he continued in a voice barely above a whisper. "Sometimes, even after so many decades, I still dream about it. I can still taste the blood, I can still hear those terrible words... those horrible names they yelled at me. I can hear the thuds and feel the impact as their boots stomped on me. I can still hear and feel my bones snap as the blows rained down on me as they hit me with their bats again and again and again..." The Captain's voice faded and his breathing hitched like it did earlier and he started flinching as if reliving some of the abuse his body had gone through so many years ago.
"Hey, stay with us, Captain. You're alright," soothed Alison, her voice trembling with anger and anguish, as she used her fingers to wipe her falling tears.
"Yeah. You're safe at home with us, Cap," said Pat, squeezing The Captain's hand gently, trying to keep him there with them so he didn't disappear into his memories again. "Don't leave us again, okay?"
The Captain blinked rapidly and raised his watery eyes to Patrick's kind teary ones. "I'm... I'm not going anywhere."
Pat smiled through his own tears and nodded. "Good. Neither are we."
"Wh-What happened t-t-to your friend, Ca-Captain?" asked an emotional Kitty from The Captain's other side.
The Captain cleared his throat and continued. "When the attack started, my friend screamed my name and then ran..."
"They ran away and left you?" Julian interrupted angrily, not seeming to notice the tears cascading down his face, or the equally horrified and distraught ghosts surrounding him.
"They ran to get help," The Captain corrected politely. "It is only because of my friend that I survived that night. I had so many broken bones and internal injuries that I was in hospital for three long months. I was beaten so badly that I almost died. I spent a long time wishing that I had. The emotional pain was just as painful as the physical. I felt so worthless, like it was my fault. That I deserved everything they did to me and more. So it was better not to feel. I think that was when I started barricading my emotions, trying not to let anybody get through them. And I succeeded for a long time..."
The Captain was caught off guard as a blur of yellow crossed his vision and a pair of arms flung themselves around him. "Patrick! What the bally hell are you doing?"
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Cap," Pat sniffled, resting his wet cheek against The Captain's hair. "You didn't deserve any of that. I mean, nobody does, but you... you deserve all the good in the world. It's not fair."
The Captain stiffened at first since he was not familiar with being held, then the spell broke and he started struggling. He struggled for several seconds, but then stopped when he heard Pat's next words.
"You did nothing wrong, Captain. It wasn't your fault. And you didn't deserve any of it."
It felt as if all the energy had drained from The Captain, and he couldn't muster enough strength to pull away. He slumped against Pat's chest, and rested his head against Pat's shoulder and let out all the emotion he had bottled up.
"No matter what they said or what they did... you're a better man than any of them. They're cowards to attack you from behind like that, to make you feel worthless when you're anything but."
The Captain could hear Pat's soft voice as he tried to comfort him. He opened his mouth, and a sigh fell trembling over his lips and turned into a painful sob, as his tears fell continuously from his eyes and formed a mist of water that made his vision turn blurry.
"Shh. You don't have to hide anymore, Captain. You should stand tall and be proud of the man you are. Because we are."
The Captain closed his eyes and his body shook with sobs as he pushed harder into Pat's embrace. The tears continued falling from his closed eyelids, and slowly traced lines down his cheeks.
Lady B cleared her throat, and offered her own support. "Times have changed, Captain."
Pat smiled when he heard Lady B's words. "Don't be afraid to be yourself. Who you were born to be," Pat said as he gently squeezed The Captain. "Because you don't have anything to be afraid of. Not as long as we're around."
As the ghosts and Alison watched their strong Captain break down in Pat's arms, nobody said a word. No words needed to be said.
Ignoring the wet patch on his shirt, as his hand stroked calming circles on The Captain's back, Pat felt as if something inside him was cracking, breaking as he held his distraught friend in his arms.
"Shh. You don't have anything to be ashamed of, Captain. It wasn't your fault," Pat repeated quietly. "We love you, Cap."
An emotional Julian wrapped his arm around The Captain's shoulders in support. "We love you, Captain."
The Captain tensed up at the touch, but his sobbing increased and his hand gripped Pat's shirt, clinging onto him like a drowning man would grip onto a life preserver.
"Love you Captain," said Robin in a gruff voice as he threw his arms around the crying Captain, being careful not to drop Humphrey's head, which he was holding tightly by the hair in his right hand.
"Oi, body. Get my arse over here and give The Captain a hug," Humphrey called out.
Humphrey's body got to it's feet and started stumbling around the room, until it ended up going through the wall and out into the grounds.
"Oh for..." Humphrey closed his eyes in frustration. "Er... I can't hug you right now, Captain, but I love you anyway."
"Oh Captain. I love you so very much," wailed Kitty, getting to her feet, and wrapping The Captain in a tight and enthusiastic hug. If The Captain had been alive, then Kitty would probably have squeezed the life out of him.
One by one, the other Ghosts rallied around their Captain, and joined in the group hug as they wrapped their own arms around him, offering their own words of love and encouragement, hoping The Captain would hear them and it made him feel better.
"We all love you, Cap. Even Mike." Alison was horrified at hearing The Captain's story, and wished more than anything that she could give The Captain a hug right now. But she gave him comfort in the only way she could, by being there, and hoped that was enough.
Mike watched as Alison cried with her hand covering her mouth as if to muffle her sobs, and he wanted to know what was happening. Alison told him, her words muffled by her hand but the story was clear all the same, and by the time Alison finished, Mike was in tears too.
As he was being held by the others, The Captain felt loved for the first time in over 100 years as he experienced his first family hug since he was a child.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
It took almost an hour for everyone to regain control of their emotions.
They decided not to finish watching the film, so instead Alison suggested watching a documentary about tanks used in World War I to cheer up The Captain.
The Captain perked up. "Tanks?"
"Ooh tanks," said Mike happily, his childlike enthusiasm making Alison smile. "I love tanks. I saw some when I went on a school trip once."
"Really? What kind?" asked The Captain, waiting patiently for Alison to ask Mike.
"Er... I don't really know actually," answered Mike with a frown. "I stopped listening to anything going on around me 'cause the tanks were so cool."
The Captain smiled and nodded in agreement. "Excellent choice, Michael. Tanks have always fascinated me, but there's nothing like seeing them up close in real life. They're wonderful vehicles."
As Alison got the documentary ready, she told Mike what The Captain said, and he gave a double thumbs up in The Captain's direction.
When the documentary started, The Captain sat forward, staring at the screen with a fascinated expression. He didn't notice the other ghosts shifting to stand or sit around him instead of wandering off or complaining at the thought of watching a war documentary.
Julian, Humphrey's body and Pat were standing behind The Captain, Pat had one hand resting on The Captain's shoulder. Kitty was kneeling at The Captain's side, holding his arm like it was her favourite teddy bear, Lady B was standing on his other side. Robin, Thomas and Mary sat together at the front with Humphrey's head held in Mary's arms.
"Oh wait. I saw one of them," exclaimed Mike, pointing at the screen.
The Captain nodded. "That's a Mark I. A British tank. They were tracked, armed, and armoured vehicles, and they also carried supplies and troops. The Mark I was the first tank to enter combat. They were developed in 1915 and entered service in August 1916, and were first used in action on 15 September 1916. They could survive the machine gun and small-arms fire in No Man's Land, travel over difficult terrain, crush barbed wire, and cross trenches to assault fortified enemy positions with powerful military weapons and equipment."
Alison repeated The Captain's words to Mike, and was amused at the wide-eyed, awed expression crossing her husband's face.
"Wow. You know a lot about tanks. Maybe we could watch some documentaries together sometime?" suggested Mike.
"I would like that very much, Michael."
When Alison translated The Captain's words, Mike smiled and turned to his wife. "You don't mind, do you?"
"Course not. I'm glad you're actually willing to spend time with them now. It wasn't long ago you were scared of them."
When the documentary had to be paused due to Mike going to answer a knock at the door, The Captain glanced around him and noticed the other ghosts surrounding him for the first time. He finally felt at peace with who he was for the first time in his life and death. The Captain may not have been able to say the words out loud, but he knew that if or when he did finally get the courage to say the one word he had never been able to admit even to himself, that the others would always be there with and for him, and they would love him no matter what.
Times may have moved on. It may no longer be a crime, but The Captain could not just get rid of all the negative words, and actions against him his whole life. Every single day he was reminded that it was wrong, and unnatural, that it was dangerous, something he could be arrested for, maybe even shot for. And it was hard to get rid of something like that. It was deep-seated, and it didn't just... go. No matter how much The Captain wanted it to. He had buried his emotions so deep, he had never even admitted his feelings to himself nevermind anyone else. Maybe one day he could finally admit that he was attracted to men, that he was... homosexual.
The Captain smiled. He had never had a relationship in his life, or after, and he may never get the chance to experience the romance he had dreamed of when he was a teenager but he had a family who loved him, and that was all that mattered. It was all he needed.
When Mike returned from the door, Alison turned to look over at the ghosts to make sure The Captain was alright, and tears once again filled her eyes as she saw them all supporting The Captain, who was safely in the middle of the protective circle they had formed around him. As if silently telling the world that if anyone wanted to get to their Captain they would have to go through them first.
The end.