Anakin would be lying if he said he wasn't worried.
Sure, Ahsoka was back at the Temple after being captured by Trandoshan hunters, but that didn't mean everything was okay.
Everything was very much not okay.
He watched from the side of the Council Chamber as she gave her report. She was covered in dirt, her clothes and skin torn in different places. There was an ugly bruise on her montral that was probably giving her a headache.
The other younglings she had managed to save were already in the Halls of Healing. The Cerean boy had apparently collapsed on the landing platform, and the other boy wasn't faring much better.
Granted, those children had been missing longer than Ahsoka, and hence their health was more of a concern, but Anakin didn't like how the Council had prioritised Ahsoka's report over at least a quick medical exam.
Based on what she was saying, Wasskah was hell.
She and the other younglings had been hunted like prey. They didn't stand a chance at fighting against the Trandoshans before Ahsoka arrived, they could only try to survive. Those who weren't Force-sensitive quickly perished.
Anakin couldn't help but plead in his mind that this would be over soon. Ahsoka needed some rest, she looked like she was about to collapse right where she was standing. He could tell in the way that she held her posture, she was exhausted.
Across the room stood Master Junifer, the head of the clans. The Zabrak woman was responsible for all younglings in the Temple, from the time they arrived until they became Padawans. She was a kind woman, and fiercely protective over the children in her care.
Learning that three younglings who had previously been MIA were actually being hunted by giant lizards probably wasn't easy for her to accept.
"That's my report, Masters," Ahsoka said at last, bowing respectfully.
Every eye in the room turned to the Council who would now question any parts of the report that required clarity.
Ahsoka casted him a glance as the Council organised themselves. Her eyes were dull, her shoulders slumped.
He needed to get her out of there.
"Padawan Tano," Master Windu addressed her, "You spoke of being in a group of four Force-sensitive younglings, but yet only returned with two other Jedi."
"Yes, Masters," she said, and Anakin felt her Force-signature quiver. "The fourth youngling was called Kalifa. She was killed by the Trandoshans whilst I was there."
Master Junifer's sharp intake of breath was all that could be heard.
Master Yoda nodded, signalling the meeting coming to a conclusion. "Thank you, young Padawan. Rest now, you should."
Ahsoka bowed again, and Anakin watched her body sway as she straightened. He immediately moved to her side as the Council began to murmur between themselves. They would probably arrange a memorial service for the girl who had been killed.
"Come on," he murmured, taking Ahsoka's elbow, "Let's get you down to medical."
"Anakin, if I may."
He resisted the urge to sigh, turning to Master Junifer and plastering a pleasant smile on his face. "Of course, Master."
The Zabrak took Ahsoka's shoulders, and he noticed his student was struggling to meet the woman's gaze.
"Thank you for what you did, Ahsoka." She told her firmly, "Your Master is very proud, as am I."
"Thank you, Master," Ahsoka dipped her head.
"If you're headed to the Halls of Healing, I'll join you." Junifer said, releasing Ahsoka, "I must check on the others."
Anakin nodded, "You'd be welcome to join us."
He stayed close to Ahsoka on the journey to the Halls. She was limping slightly, her steps much slower than normal. A few times, she stumbled, and he had to stick out a hand to steady her.
If Master Junifer noticed, she didn't comment.
The doors of the Halls of Healing slid open with a hiss, revealing the cries of somebody in distress.
Next to him, Ahsoka froze.
On the floor, beside an empty cot, Healers swarmed a squirming body on the floor. Anakin recognised that they were restraining somebody, and that person was screaming as if they were being culled.
Anakin had been restrained before. It was sometimes necessary, but it was always traumatic.
He'd watched Ahsoka be restrained too, even helped the 501st medics keep her still. He would have to hold firm until they sedated her, even if she cried and screamed that she didn't like it.
"Jinx," Master Junifer murmured, moving forward to offer her assistance.
She might've been small, but she was experienced with children and challenging behaviour. Anakin was sure he made her want to quit her job in the first few weeks of him being at the Temple.
Beside him, Ahsoka edged closer to the scene, whether by concern or a willingness to help.
Anakin grabbed her shoulder before she could get too close, knowing that the Healers had the situation under control and it would be dangerous for Ahsoka to get involved.
"Skywalker," Rig Nema motioned for him, holding a door open to a different part of the Halls, "Bring her this way."
Gripping her bicep, Anakin tugged Ahsoka along. She didn't come willingly, but he was stronger than her, so it didn't take long for her to relent.
He pulled her through the door, glad when Nema closed it behind them. They could still hear Jinx's cries, but it was quieter now.
"I apologise for that, Padawan," Nema said, addressing Ahsoka who wasn't even paying attention. "He was distressed and at risk of harming himself."
"We understand," Anakin answered when he realised Ahsoka wasn't listening. "She just needs a quick exam. I don't want her to be admitted unless she needs it."
"Of course," Nema smiled kindly, "Let's find a spare room."
Nema was less militant than Vokara Che. She didn't make Ahsoka undress for her exam and only asked questions that required a yes or no answer. She took a blood sample and asked if the girl wanted some bacta for the cuts and scrapes.
Ahsoka nodded silently.
The good news was that none of her injuries were severe. She didn't have a concussion or any broken bones. That much, he could be thankful for.
Anakin waited patiently on a stool next to Ahsoka's cot. She wasn't laying down, just sitting on the edge. He tried not to freak out, understanding that Ahsoka had been through something traumatic and very likely sleep-deprived.
But her being quiet was never a good sign.
"You're free to go, Ahsoka," Nema said eventually, holding a box in her hands. "I'll call if there are any concerns with your blood sample. In the meantime, have these nutrient-dense shakes with your meals, and make sure you stay hydrated."
She passed the box to Anakin, "Keep an eye on her, especially her temperature and fluid intake. Who knows what type of pathogens she was exposed to? Any concerns, please call."
"Thank you, Master," He said gratefully.
Nema nodded, "I'll write her down for a week of leave. If she needs more, we can extend it."
A week didn't sound long enough, but Anakin knew Ahsoka would probably be eager to get back to regular life.
"Go and get cleaned up, young one." Nema told Ahsoka, "Make sure you rest."
As they were leaving, the scene near the doors had thankfully cleared. Anakin saw Master Junifer sitting next to Jinx's bed, the boy soundly asleep. Vokara Che was there as well, talking with Junifer in a hushed voice.
"See?" Anakin murmured to Ahsoka who was also watching. "He's alright."
Ahsoka didn't respond.
She didn't speak the entire walk back to their quarters. Anakin didn't press her for information. The Council's interrogation had thankfully been short, but now wasn't the time to overwhelm her with questions either.
As they stepped inside their shared quarters, he had to nudge her shoulder, "Go and take a shower. I'll find us something to eat."
It took a moment until Ahsoka blinked, her steps slow as she walked to her bedroom.
Anakin didn't think the tension released from his shoulders until he heard the water running from her fresher.
He forced himself to stop looking at her closed bedroom door. She would be fine once she was in clean clothes and had some food in her stomach. He found a few ready-made dinners in the fridge and put them in the oven.
Then, in a very unlike-himself fashion, Anakin sat on the kitchen floor and tried to centre himself in the Force.
He didn't meditate often (despite Obi-Wan's encouragement), but he knew that a level-head would help Ahsoka now.
He needed to release his anger before it overboiled, both directed towards the lizards who tried to kill his student, and himself for letting her be taken in the first place.
Resting his hands on his knees, Anakin sunk into the Force. He let it flow through him, imagining it running through his veins like blood. Immediately, the pressure on his mind lifted some.
It wasn't gone, but it eased significantly.
Once Ahsoka had eaten, he would encourage her to meditate with him. It would likely help her as well, especially if she was feeling off-balance. Kalifa's death had clearly taken a toll on her, as had the responsibility of getting the rest of the younglings out of there.
As the timer dinged, Anakin gracefully pulled himself out of meditation. He felt at least ten pounds lighter, just from a few minutes of focused breathing. Obi-Wan must feel like a floating feather with the amount of meditation he did.
Anakin stood up, marvelling at the stiffness in his legs. He'd only been meditating for twenty minutes, though it felt like much longer.
He would've expected Ahsoka to have finished in the fresher by now, considering she didn't have any hair to wash like he did, so he was surprised to hear the water still running.
Concerned, Anakin moved towards her bedroom door and knocked, "Ahsoka?"
Nothing.
He pushed the door open, moving through the room and noticing that she hadn't put her lightsabers on her desk like she normally did when she was using the fresher.
"Snips?" He knocked hard on the fresher door, speaking loudly over the sound of running water. "You okay?"
It wasn't like her to not respond. If she was in the middle of showering, she would shout for him to leave her alone.
She wouldn't just ignore him.
"Ahsoka," he braced his hands on the door, "I'm coming in."
With that warning, Anakin shoved the door open. He tried to keep his gaze lowered, just in case she simply hadn't heard him. The last thing he wanted to do was traumatise her further by walking in on her.
But Ahsoka wasn't in the fresher.
Well, technically, she was.
The girl was sat down, leaning against the tiled wall and letting the spray of water hit the side of her face without being completely submerged. She still had her filthy clothes on, her lightsabers attached to her belt just as they had been before.
What frightened Anakin the most was her eyes.
It was as if she hadn't seen him enter.
Ahsoka's eyes were open, but unseeing. It was as if her gaze was simply stretching into an unseen abyss. She wasn't at the Temple, she was somewhere else.
Kix might've called it 'shell-shock', but Brightside tended to use the phrase, '1000-yard stare'.
It was the same look he saw in the eyes of clones who watched their batchmate's body get blown apart by a landmine, or in the eyes of civilian women holding their dead children in their arms.
"Ahsoka..." he crashed to his knees in front of her, panicking when he saw the water that soaked through her clothes was running red down the drain.
"Where are you hurt?" He asked urgently, dreading that Nema had missed something.
"Ahsoka," he grabbed her shoulders, resisting the urge to shake her when she didn't look at him.
He had never seen Ahsoka like this. He'd seen her panicked and hyperventilating, or deathly quiet after a horrendous mission, but it wasn't like her to just switch off.
"It's…" she stuttered, her lower lip shaking, "It's not my…. my blood…"
It wasn't her blood.
So, that meant…
Anakin's heart ached for his student. He wanted to wrap her in a tight blanket to protect her from the cruelness of the galaxy. He wanted to tear off the head of every Trandoshan who saw these children as prey in a sick game of cat and mouse.
He could hear the fear in her words as she reported to the Council. The younglings had constantly been looking over their shoulders, never certain if they would survive until nightfall. It was a relentless routine of staying on the move to stop the Trandoshans from picking up their scents. They were outnumbered and weaponless, practically helpless besides what training they could remember from before being captured.
They were fighting to live, and living to fight. It would most definitely take months for them to recover, and even then Anakin doubted that Jinx and O-Mer would ever be sent to the front lines.
But those boys weren't his priority right now.
His student required all of his attention.
"Snips," he squeezed her shoulders, "You need to get yourself cleaned up. Then we can talk about this."
Ahsoka inhaled sharply, "I can't."
"Can't what?" He asked.
"I can't do it," she said, her voice quiet, "I tried, I swear. I just can't."
Anakin rubbed his forehead, wishing he could understand her better.
"Can I help you?" He proposed gently, "Or I can call one of the Healers?"
Ahsoka shook her head, croaking out. "I don't want to be restrained."
"Hey," he shifted to get more comfortable on the tiled floor. "Nobody's going to restrain you, I promise. I just want to help."
Ahsoka blinked, her eyes glassy as she continued to stare at the floor. "I don't want anyone to see me like this."
She was like him in so many ways.
"Well, I'm already seeing you like this," he said, attempting to joke. He softened when she didn't react. "Will you let me help you?"
On the landing platform, he could tell that Ahsoka was trying to hold herself together. There were so many eyes on her, so many people wanting to see how she and the other Jedi younglings were doing.
She didn't have to pretend anymore. He was her safe space.
"Okay." She whispered eventually.
"Thank you," he said, grateful that she hadn't refused because then he would've had to call one of the Healers down. "Hang on."
He took her lightsabers, putting them on the counter. They could withstand water, but it wasn't good for the small components. Next, he took her belt, then her vambraces, and armbands.
All the time, Ahsoka stared at the ground.
As he removed her boots, he noticed her inhale sharply, like it had caused her pain. Peeling away her socks as carefully as possible, he found her right ankle swollen and bruised.
That explained the limp.
Pressing his lips together, Anakin knew it would be best to get her cleaned up before asking about the injury.
He'd seen her take off her akul teeth enough times to know how to remove them. He put them with the rest of her belongings. They would need a good clean and polish before she put them back on.
Anakin paused as he debated what to do next.
Ahsoka's clothes were dirty and wet. He couldn't exactly leave them on her, but he didn't expect she would be able to remove them and clean herself up without his help.
Anakin sighed, "Soka."
For the first time, her eyes lifted to his. They were still lifeless, but at least she was looking at him.
"You need to stand up now," he told her softly, "Can you do that?"
Ahsoka exhaled, bending her legs to push herself up. He helped her when she swayed, holding her elbows as she climbed to her feet. Her knees wobbled, and he knew he had to move fast.
"We need to get your clothes off," he said, "Just stay there, that's it."
Turning her to one side, Anakin fiddled for the zip at the nape of her neck. Ahsoka didn't react, she just clung tightly to his mechanical arm as he tugged the zip down.
Her knees almost buckled by the time he was pulling the fabric over her shoulders, and it took some manoeuvring to make sure he didn't drop her whilst also not looking directly at her exposed skin.
It wasn't anything Anakin hadn't seen before, compared to the half dozen times her clothes had been cut off for emergency field surgeries, but he wanted to maintain her dignity as much as he could.
He pulled her shirt down, the material stinking of sweat and dirt. They were both more or less standing under the showerhead now. Anakin could feel his clothes getting damp, and Ahsoka was beginning to shiver.
He hoped it was from the cold, and not from shock.
"Right, Snips," he panted, feeling out of breath from the effort of holding her up and removing her clothes at the same time. "I need you to hold around my neck, okay? Hold here."
He had to position her arms around his neck, and even then her grip didn't feel strong. Ahsoka's face was smooched against his robes in a way that surely couldn't have been comfortable.
It was mercifully quick to slip off her battledress and leggings.
"There," he breathed hard, kicking her clothes to the corner and holding his student with one arm. Ahsoka's eyes were open, her gaze cemented on the tiled wall.
It looked like he was on his own for this.
He reached with his free hand for the flannel and body wash that was on a shelf in the wall. He got hold of the body wash and flicked the lid open, squeezing it to dispense some onto the flannel.
And then Ahsoka's knees gave way.
Her weight shifted unpredictably in his arms. Anakin's boot slipped in the shower as he tried to steady them, sending a jolt of pain through his knee.
He almost dropped Ahsoka in the process, her shins smacking against the unforgiving surface of the shower tray. The sound of the crash echoed in the small space.
"Kriff, I'm sorry," he said, lowering the girl to sit on the floor again. It was just too much to try and hold her up. "Ahsoka, you okay? Look at me."
Her eyes didn't meet his.
Anakin sighed, suppressing the guilt for letting her fall by lathering the body wash into the flannel.
"I'll be really quick, alright?" He said, beginning to rub the subs over her montrals, being mindful of the bruise.
The flannel came away dark brown.
Squeezing more body wash onto it, Anakin tried to hurry as he washed around Ahsoka's neck and back. The water was running black from the dirt on her skin, which proved to him that this was necessary, even if it felt cruel.
He was gentle but thorough as he washed the dirt from her lekku and upper body. The blood was stained onto her skin, which made it apparent how much Kalifa must've bled.
Carefully, Anakin cleaned her arms where the worst of the bruises and cuts were scattered. He tried to not jostle her swollen ankle as he washed her legs.
He'd used almost a quarter of the bottle of body wash, and Ahsoka would still likely need another soak to get the rest of the grime off later.
But for now, this would have to do.
Taking the showerhead down, Anakin rinsed her off with hot water, knowing she hated any temperature that was cooler than scalding.
He switched off the water when he was finished, the drain gurgling as it cleared away. Anakin could feel himself sweating from being crammed in such a small space, and his back ached after being bent over for so long.
It was mercifully quick to get her dried off with a warm towel and in a set of clean pyjamas. Ahsoka was more cooperative, only needing to hold his shoulders when standing up to get on some old joggers.
"Is that better?" He asked, not really expecting a response as he dried the remaining moisture from beneath her lekku. She was sat on the edge of her bed, only needing to hold his elbow to walk from the fresher.
Ahsoka hummed, "A little."
He touched her chin, smiling gently. Her eyes focused on him. "That's my girl."
"I'm sorry to be a nuisance," she said quietly, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
"Never," he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Now, can you get yourself settled on the sofa? I'm going to clean up the fresher, get your clothes in the wash."
She nodded, and he helped her stand up. After ensuring she could keep her balance, Anakin let her go so she could walk to the lounge.
He took the used towels to the fresher, using them to mop up the water that had spilt out of the shower. It was a miracle they hadn't flooded the entire room.
Anakin put the towels and Ahsoka's dirty clothes into a basket, not before putting her other possessions into her room. He took the basket to the kitchenette, noting that Ahsoka had made it to the couch, and set a wash going.
He returned to her side with a bag of frozen veg and a tea towel. Ahsoka eyed him suspiciously, "My head's not that bad."
"It's not for your head," he said lightheartedly, pleased she was more like her usual self.
Anakin sat at her feet, gesturing to her right foot. "Can I see it?"
Hesitantly, Ahsoka lifted her foot and rested it on his thigh.
Anakin wasn't a medic, nor had he been trained in any sort of medical capacity, but he had watched Coric and the rest of the team enough times to get the general gist.
With his prosthetic hand holding the back of her calf to keep her still, he palpated her foot and ankle with his flesh hand, noting any movements that caused her to wince or flinch.
The midtarsal joint seemed to be giving her some problems, though he was pleased that her Achilles tendon wasn't impaired in any way.
"Bring your toes towards you." He instructed, taking his hands away.
Ahsoka did as he asked, wincing and only achieving a few degrees of movement.
Anakin sighed, "We'll keep an eye on that. Any idea how it happened?"
"One of the Trandoshans grabbed my foot," she said, "I tried to pull away, then he let go suddenly."
Anakin scrunched up his nose, equally distraught and enraged.
"I'll get you some painkillers," he said, setting up one of the couch pillows on the small coffee table. Ahsoka took the hint and lifted her foot onto it, allowing him to position the frozen veg bag, wrapped in the tea towel, over the joint.
Her dinner was still hot in the oven, so he put it on a tray and made the girl a strong cup of tea. Obi-Wan made sure their supply was always well-stocked. Anakin knew that Ahsoka liked hers to be sweet, so he added some sugar.
Finally, he found a straw for one of the milkshakes that Nema had given them and took the tray to his Padawan. She let him position it on her lap, taking the painkillers he offered her and swallowing them dry.
"How are you feeling now?" He asked, sitting next to her on the sofa.
Ahsoka shrugged, shovelling some food onto her fork, "I don't know."
"Get some food in you," he prompted her gently, "It'll help."
He didn't know what Ahsoka had eaten on Wasskah. She knew how to hunt and prepare small animals, and he had trained her to foliage for edible plants.
Togrutas were carnivores, but Ahsoka could tolerate non-animal products for a few days in desperate situations.
"Kalifa didn't want me to help the others who weren't a part of our group," Ahsoka said, interrupting the silence.
Anakin reached over and put a hand on her shoulder, attempting to be comforting. "There's a reason it's called survival of the fittest, Ahsoka."
The girl had a massive heart, and Anakin admired that about her. However, being an empath whilst also fighting in a war meant that Ahsoka took losses hard. She never wanted to leave anyone behind, whether that be Anakin, a clone, or a civilian.
"She was there longer than the others," Ahsoka said, putting down her fork before even taking the first bite. She stared at her lap. "She was all alone before Jinx and O-Mer came."
He squeezed her shoulder, wishing he could take away the hurt that she was feeling. Unfortunately, these feelings were natural and needed to run their course.
"I was with her when she died," Ahsoka carried on, "I thought I could get her to safety, I wanted to but she didn't let me."
"You might not have been able to do that," Anakin murmured, "She knew it wasn't worth the risk."
He was struck with the memory of Ahsoka returning to their camp with a clone slung over her shoulder. They'd been ambushed whilst on patrol. The clone was long dead, but Ahsoka wasn't able to accept that.
She had begged the medics to help him, and couldn't understand why everyone was leaving the clone in the mud whilst trying to calm her down.
He squeezed her shoulder again, glad when she looked at him. "Had you not made it, how would've Jinx and O-Mer got home?"
Ahsoka shrugged, clearly having not yet considered that outcome.
"They're grateful for you, Snips," he assured her, "As is Master Junifer, and the rest of the Council. You brought those kids home, and made sure nobody else would suffer like they had on Wasskah."
The girl was quiet, but he could sense that he was getting through to her. She had praised him for his training on the landing platform, now she deserved some praise for what she did.
"Come on now," he nudged her, "Eat up. We'll watch some of that holo-movie, and then you should get some sleep."
She gave the milkshake on the tray a disgusted look, "Do I have to eat that as well?"
"No," he told her, "You have to drink it."
She elbowed him, acting annoyed but really she was smirking.
It was good to have her back.