Scratch was very familiar with disappointment and heartbreak. They seemed to be his constant companions in his afterlife, and he imagined his living life hadn't been that much different. That was a big reason why he didn't really want to remember who he used to be. What if his life had been full of nothing but heartache, and he was better off forgetting it? Was getting closure really worth opening himself up to being hurt all over again? He really didn't know, and he actively tried to not think about it.
Scratch had learned how to not get his hopes up. He hadn't let himself get close to people, because that just opened himself up to even more disappointment and heartbreak, and he didn't know how much more he could take.
It led to a very lonely existence, and Scratch resented all those that pushed him away, even as he did the same thing to anybody who dared come too close.
Fortunately, some people and ghosts were way more persistent and stubborn than he was, and despite his doubts and fears making him lash out, he had friends. A family. Sometimes he still doubted if he deserved all of this affection. After all, he wasn't a good guy.
As familiar as he was with being let down by others, he was even more familiar with letting others down. He frequently failed to meet even the simplest of expectations. He forgot, or didn't feel up to, commitments. He was so scared of being hurt that he took his concerns out on those around him. Whether he purposefully hurt them, or they became the collateral damage to his careless behavior, he gave them every reason to see that he was a lost cause.
Molly was the exception. She had wormed her way past his barriers through sheer determination and optimism. She broke down the walls that he had spent his entire afterlife building, and now Scratch was letting others in. He tried to look on the bright side of things, because Molly was so busy encouraging other people that she sometimes forgot to encourage herself.
Scratch knew he wasn't the perfect friend. He wouldn't even say he was a great friend. But he was still Molly's friend, and he was going to fulfill that role to the best of his abilities. Molly usually appreciated his effort. It wasn't very good, but she knew he was trying, and that was enough for her. She had never asked Scratch to be more than he was.
Until now.
Scratch blinked back tears and wrapped his arms around himself as he floated there, wondering what he was supposed to do. He wanted to rush back inside the school and apologize for…for whatever he'd done wrong.
But he wasn't really sure where he'd gone wrong. He knew this had to be his fault, because any conflict between him and someone else always seemed to be his own fault. And however he'd messed up this time, it had to have been really bad for Molly to turn her back on him.
She'd walked away without another burning retort, or even a passionate declaration of how she would prove that she was right. She had just left, returning to the dance.
To the ghost hunter.
Scratch felt a harsh dropping in his gut that reminded him so much of the feeling of being sucked into the Flow of Failed Phantoms. It was a mix between nausea, anxiety, and existential dread. But now the reason for his feeling wasn't the threat of eternal misery and suffering. It was just Molly, and the dread that maybe the other pin had finally dropped, and he'd finally messed up enough to scare her off.
Just how much of a lost cause was he that the most cheerful person on the planet had decided that she'd had enough of him?
Scratch sniffled loudly. He wanted to just go home, curl up in his bed, cry himself to sleep, and hope that this whole night was just a really bad nightmare. He started to slowly float home, but he suddenly stopped in his tracks when he saw the metal device just a few feet away from him. He recognized the Chens' ghost trap from their video.
Ollie must have brought it. He was so determined to capture ghosts that he brought a trap to the school dance where, as far as he knew, there was no ghost activity. Was he just that determined to catch a ghost?
The answer was probably yes, and while Scratch liked to think that he was smarter than Ollie, the boy could match Molly for sheer determination, and Scratch couldn't match that energy. Sooner or later he would slip up or let his guard down, and then where would he be? That very thing had very nearly happened just now, and the realization made Scratch feel like he couldn't breath.
He may not need air to live like a human did, but even ghosts could hyperventilate, and that was just what Scratch did as he backed away from the trap. His eyes darted around as he desperately tried to find another. This couldn't be the only trap that Ollie had set up. Scratch had to get out of there. If he got caught, who knew what would happen?
Maybe the trap would malfunction, the way it had in the video, or it could blast him to smithereens, destroying his very essence. It could keep him confined forever, like the Flow of Failed Phantoms, but so much worse because he wouldn't be able to move at all, and he would constantly be under the hateful eyes of humans who wanted to study him like some sick experiment.
Maybe it would just cause him pain so excruciating that he wished for the sweet release of death, but as he was already a ghost, relief would never come.
Usually when Scratch started spiraling, Molly was right there with him, either freaking out at his side, or calming him down. But she wasn't here. She was inside, having the time of her life with the boy who would be Scratch's capture/tormentor/executioner.
And she didn't care.
Oh, Scratch knew that she cared about him. She'd made that perfectly clear. But she'd also made it clear that she didn't care how much danger the Chens put him in. None of the McGees did. Because no matter how many times they assured him that they weren't going to let the Chens hurt him, they still invited his hunters into their home.
They were putting him in danger every time they invited their friends over for karaoke night, and none of them cared.
Scratch was again hit with the urge to fly back inside the school and get Molly. Part of the reason was because he felt untouchable when he was at her side, so the ghost hunters couldn't get him, but he was ashamed to admit that there was a petty reason to. He wanted to pull her out here, point her towards the trap, and shove it in her face that Ollie was dangerous.
But the thought of doing that made him feel intense guilt, like he was the scum of the earth. The truth was, Scratch was scared. He was terrified of the ghost hunters. He was scared that the McGees didn't care as much as he thought they did. He was scared that he had messed up and ruined a good thing he had going for him, like he always did.
Why did he have to be so selfish? Molly was happy. She was living her best life, and thriving, and doing all of the things that Scratch loved her for. What right did he have to ruin that for her? Yes, Ollie was a threat, but not to her. The ghost hunters couldn't, and wouldn't, hurt Molly or the McGees. They were just a threat to Scratch. He was literally the only reason that the McGees and Chens wouldn't be friends.
And the Chens were nice. Scratch had watched all of them from a distance, looking for any other reason to hate them, but they were the perfect family. Ruben was cool, but not distant. Esther gave Sharon reason to go back to her roots. June's unapologetically blunt honesty was something that Scratch admired. And Ollie was the perfect boy for keeping up with Molly's passions, because he seemed to share them all.
A part of Scratch wanted to be friends with the Chens. He wanted to know if Ollie's enthusiasm was as contagious as Molly's. Or if June could somehow make a device that could allow a human to go to the ghost world without becoming a wraith. He wanted to try Esther's spicy food and see how they differed from Sharon's. He wanted to be Ruben's root beer taste tester.
But he couldn't have any of that, because he was a ghost, and the second he revealed what he was to them, they would reject him without a second thought. Scratch knew this. Ghosts and hunters couldn't be friends. That was something that even Molly's optimism couldn't change. So the fact that she was acting like Scratch was the one being unfair and biased, like he was the one that needed to give Ollie a chance, even though the favor would never be returned, it hurt.
Scratch knew that Molly hadn't actually said any of this, but every time she looked longingly at Ollie and talked about how great and charitable he was, and how he was more than just a ghost hunter, that's what it felt like she was saying, and it stung.
Scratch didn't think he was being unfair to not want anything to do with the Chens. He didn't even think he was that unreasonable to think that his family being around the Chens so much was like a stab in the back. But it still felt like he was wrong. He felt like he was disappointing the family, and upsetting Molly, and he couldn't make things right because he didn't think he was wrong.
But he probably was. He always was.
It made him feel very conflicted and homesick, in a way. Even when he was home, it didn't feel quite right, because somebody would mention the Chens, and he'd feel that fear and betrayal and guilt all over again, and that wasn't how home should feel.
Scratch was so confused. He felt like he was wrong, but he really couldn't see how. He couldn't get better if he didn't know where he'd messed up. He could always bring it up with the McGees, but whenever he mentioned the Chens they dismissed him out of hand, saying that they were nice people, and that he needed to stop moping just because he needed to hide his presence for an hour or two every few days.
Scratch didn't feel like that was the problem, though it was annoying to have to hide in his own home. But he didn't know how to explain any of this to the McGees. He'd tried to explain it to Molly, and all it had gotten him was a harsh accusation, the silent treatment, and a turned back. He couldn't bear to go through it with the rest of the family.
Maybe he needed a second opinion. Somebody to gently tell him just where he went wrong. Someone whose voice he at least tried to listen to. Somebody who knew both Scratch and the McGees enough to get a grasp of the situation, even if he only shared his own biased half of the story.
Needing to get away from the school and Molly, and having at least a tentative plan in mind, Scratch hurried home. He phased right into the kitchen and started pulling all of his favorite ice cream and chips out of the freezer and cupboard. He felt empty, and he needed to fill that Molly sized hole in him with something. Food couldn't fix his problems, but there was no harm in trying.
Arms full of food, Scratch started to make his way to the attack before he changed his mind. That was his space, but it was also Molly's, and he didn't really want to think about her right now. So he just went to the family room instead. Somebody had left the tablet out, and Scratch felt like he could cry. Finally, something was going his way tonight.
Scratch stuffed an entire bag of chips in his mouth, not even caring that the bag was technically not food. He didn't feel like going to all the effort of opening the bag and taking the chips out. While he chewed the chips, bag and all, he turned on the tablet and set up a video call. For several long moments it rang, and Scratch just felt more and more distressed and frustrated. He was about to give up and just add this to another way that this family was letting him down.
Fortunately before it got to that point Grandma Nin answered. Scratch had never been so happy to see her. Even if she wasn't here in person and he couldn't have her snacks.
"Scratch. What a pleasant surprise." Grandma Nin said. She sounded genuinely happy to hear from him, and he couldn't help but tear up. He turned away and shoved the ice cream carton in his mouth to hide the sob that was trying to sneak out. He couldn't hide anything from her though. Her face fell. "Is something the matter?"
"I-It's just been a night." Scratch whimpered. The ice cream was gone now, and it had done nothing to ease the painful emptiness in him. Scratch grabbed a pillow from the couch, hugging it tightly. He didn't even notice when he started to nibble on it. "I feel like I messed up. Molly's mad at me, and I kinda get why, because I was a jerk, because I'm always a jerk. But I still think I'm in the right here, but she's not listening to anything I say, and she won't listen unless I admit that I'm wrong, and I'm not, but she thinks I am."
Scratch started to get more and more worked up as he finally started to get things off his chest. "I don't want to upset Molly. I want her to be happy. But is it really so bad that I just wish she would look for happiness with somebody other than Ollie? Am I really a terrible person that I don't want her to date a ghost hunter?"
Maybe it had been cruel to tell Molly that she could either have a ghost best friend, or a ghost hunter boyfriend, but it was the truth. He hadn't been trying to put down an ultimatum, like he would stop being her friend if she dated Ollie. He would never do that. He was just stating a fact.
Molly had already shown that she couldn't keep her friends separated. She had nearly had a breakdown at the thought of just having two best friends that never interacted with each other. How long would it be before the same thing happened again? And Scratch didn't think that Ollie would be as accepting as Libby was.
Molly wouldn't be able to have both Scratch and Ollie in her life. Sooner or later, she would have to choose between the two of them, and Scratch dreaded that day. If she chose Ollie then Scratch would lose the only family he'd ever had. He'd lose his home. He'd lose everything. If she chose Scratch, things would be fine at first, but she'd probably grow to resent him, and he'd just lose everything anyway.
Scratch didn't want to make Molly choose, but it was inevitable if things continued on this way. He knew she was trying to solve the problem by getting Ollie to accept ghosts, but how long was she going to try before giving in. Probably forever. But was Scratch just supposed to wait indefinitely, existing in eternal fear, until Molly was able to figure out how to make the impossible happen? How was that fair?
Scratch got so caught up in his own head that he hadn't noticed that Nin was just staring at him. He came back to himself and took in the uncomfortable silence. "Uh…Grandma Nin?"
"...Molly is dating the Chen boy?" Grandma Nin's voice was impossible to read. Scratch shrank in on himself, literally making himself about half his normal size. Of course one of the McGees had told Nin about the Chens. Why had Scratch thought he would be able to get an unbiased opinion about this? She had probably heard all about the Chens right now, and she was probably getting ready to scold him for thinking anything bad about them.
"I mean, I don't think they're dating dating yet." Scratch said. "But Molly finally admitted to herself that she likes him, and they're at the school dance together."
"And what's this you say about him being a ghost hunter?" Grandma Nin asked. Scratch blinked.
"His whole family are." Scratch said. He made himself smaller again. So the McGees had told her about the Chens, but apparently they hadn't said a word about the whole ghost hunting thing, which Scratch thought was something that was just a little too important to forget about mentioning.
"Does Molly know he's a ghost hunter?" Grandma Nin asked.
"She's the one that found out first." Scratch said. Even if she hadn't, the McGees would have found out by now. The Chens weren't exactly subtle. "She says she thinks she can change his mind about ghosts, but I don't know how much of that is her refusal to admit that there's anything wrong with her crush, and how much of it is her genuine optimism."
Scratch buried his face in the pillow that was now bigger than him. He didn't want to look at Grandma Nin, just in case there was any disappointment or judgement in her gaze. "Whenever I'm out with Molly, I'm looking over my shoulder because there's a chance that ghost hunter is going to be around. I can't even relax at home, because I never know when the Chens are going to be over. And even when the Chens are gone, I'm still worked up, because I'm paranoid that they might have laid out a ghost trap in the house when nobody was looking."
"Have you talked to Sharon and Pete about this?" Grandma Nin asked. Scratch could hear the frown in her voice. He whimpered and burrowed deeper into the pillow. He wished he had grabbed more snacks
"Yeah, I have." Scratch drooped. "They gave me a second serving of dessert, and they said they wouldn't let anything happen to me. Darryl even helped me look for ghost traps around the house. But the next day, they still invited the Chens over for game night." Tears came to Scratch's eyes, and he drew closer to the pillow to shove them away. "Which meant I couldn't play. I couldn't even watch, because I might distract the family and make the Chens suspicious."
"Scratch, can you look at me?" Grandma Nin asked. He reluctantly lifted his head and faced the screen again. There was nothing but concern and sympathy in her eyes. "Do you feel unsafe and unwelcome in your own home?"
"I don't know." Scratch admitted. "I know I'm welcome here, but apparently so are the Chens, but we can't really be welcome here at the same time." He felt frustration and anger push past his hurt and fear. "And of course I don't feel safe! Not only are our neighbors ghost hunters, but the family is just opening the door wide open for them and telling them to make themselves at home. It's like they don't even care what the ghost hunters will do when they get their hands on me."
As quickly as his anger arose, despair took over again. He sniffled and wrapped his arms protectively around himself. "It's stupid. I know they care. Maybe Molly's right, and I'm just trying to suck the joy out of everyone around me." He felt himself get even smaller. "That because I'm miserable, I want everybody else to be miserable too." The tears were actively flowing from his eyes now. "What is wrong with me?!" Why was he incapable of just letting people enjoy their lives?
"Listen to me, Scratch." Grandma Nin said sternly. He sniffled and looked at her. He felt pathetic. "There is nothing wrong with you. And I've met plenty of people who live to make others miserable, and you're not like that."
"But I hurt people." Scratch said.
"Everybody hurts people." Grandma Nin said. "And it sounds like you're under a lot of stress right now."
"I am!" Scratch didn't know how much he needed to hear someone recognize how much pressure he was under.
"I don't think you're trying to make people miserable." Grandma Nin said. And her words seemed to seal the hurt that had felt like a stab in the back when Molly had thrown that accusation at him. "I think you are hurt, and scared, and you're struggling to make that be understood."
Scratch sniffled and brushed back some tears. "So you don't think I'm wrong?"
"No, I do not." Grandma Nin. "And while I think it's admirable that Molly wants to change that boy's mind about ghosts, I do not think it's fair to ask you to compromise and feel unsafe just because somebody can't accept you as you are."
Scratch couldn't help it. He started bawling. He hadn't known how much he'd needed that validation. He still knew that he could handle this better, but it was hard to be strong and patient when he felt so alone. For once, he wished he had someone here to envelope him into a hug, but there was nobody here. His go-to hugger wasn't talking to him, and he could only see Grandma Nin over the video call. There was no hug for him.
He made do by just snuggling against the pillow, holding it tight like it was the only thing grounding him. Grandma Nin just let him cry.
Eventually, he was able to calm down a little bit. He still felt terrible, but he could think and focus better. He sighed and grew back to a more normal size for him. He was still a little smaller than usual, but he wasn't tiny anymore.
"I think what you need is a little space." Grandma Nin said. Her tone left no room for argument. "Stay with me for a few days."
Scratch blinked. "Wait, seriously?"
"You need to have a few days where you don't worry about the ghost hunters." Grandma Nin said. Scratch had been feeling that way since he first found out about the Chens. By now, he was feeling like he needed just a few days away from the McGees too, and he felt horrible for even letting the thought cross his mind.
He loved this family, and he didn't want to lose them, but he really wasn't in a good place right now. He was worried that if he just let this continue to fester, he would get even more worked up, and he'd take it out on his family more than he already did. That was something none of them wanted.
Maybe a few days was all he needed to unwind and regroup.
Scratch sighed, feeling completely exhausted. It had been a really long day. "Maybe you're right." If nothing else, he could eat Grandma Nin's cooking. That had to cheer him up if nothing else did.
And maybe Molly would be ready to talk to him again by the time he got back. He didn't know what he would do if she came back from the dance still giving him the silent treatment. He wouldn't be able to take it.
"What am I supposed to tell the family?" Scratch wondered to himself.
"Let me talk to my daughter." Grandma Nin said. "I will explain everything." And maybe it was weak that he was so eager to get Grandma Nin to fight his battles for him, but he'd already tried to explain his feelings to them, and he wasn't eager to be gently let down again.
Feeling relieved, but too embarrassed to admit it, Scratch just nodded. Maybe running from his problems wouldn't work, but he didn't know how to face them right now, and he was drained from trying. He just needed a little break, and then everything would be fine. "I'll see you soon, Grandma Nin. And…thank you."
"You have nothing to thank me for." She said. "Nobody should be made to feel unsafe in their own home." She really was the best grandma he had never known he'd always wanted. They said goodbye for now, and Scratch went up to the attic. He didn't have a lot to pack, and it wasn't as though he would be gone for long, but it would feel wrong to leave without at least checking the place out first.
While in Molly's room Scratch debated to himself for a long moment before he wrote a note for her. He didn't feel up to explaining things, but it wouldn't feel right to leave without a word of goodbye. Even if Molly was still mad at him, she deserved to know that he wasn't just disappearing on her. And he wasn't doing this because he was ignoring her. He just needed a little space. He hoped she understood, and that she forgave him.
He wrote the note with Molly's favorite glitter pens, and he left the paper laid on her pillow where she wouldn't miss it. Giving the room one more longing look, Scratch opened a portal to the ghost world. He would teleport to Grandma Nin's from there. Maybe she would have a snack ready for him when he got there.
He couldn't help but feel like he was doing the wrong thing by running away. It was the coward's way. He shouldn't be afraid to just talk about his feelings like a mature person. But he'd never claimed to be a brave person. He was lazy, and took the road of least resistance. He'd gotten better since meeting Molly, but he was still so imperfect, and he felt like the family expected him to be better than he could manage right now.
Maybe a few days break would be good for all of them. He certainly hoped so, because he didn't know where else to go from here.