Jo was typing away on her laptop and working on the paper again. She watched her mouse, David Bowie, from a camera she had set up in the lap. At least this way she could still do what she wanted without having to sneak out. However, she was still hoping to get the results from the lab on David Bowie's latest blood test. His liver enzymes were slightly elevated. He was four years old now and she wanted to make sure he wasn't declining in health naturally or because of the mini livers.
There was a knock at the door and Jo jumped with a start and slammed the laptop shut before she showed it under her pillow.
"Come in," Jo yelled as she tried to act natural.
Carina walked to the room holding something behind her back. Jo sighed and held out her arm, turning away so she didn't have to see the IV being put in again. However, instead, Carina placed a cool drink in her hand. When Jo looked back Carina simply held a small container containing a few pills. Jo raised her eyebrow at her as she turned back around and took a sip from the drink. It was one of the mocktails they usually made for their patients after labor. Jo smiled as she tasted the red cherry flavoring that she liked. Carina still held out the pills and Jo took them with little reluctance.
After she swallowed them Carina sat down and pulled the stool beside her. She didn't say anything for a half second and Jo wondered why as she studied Carina's expression. It was surprisingly natural. Yet, she would for sure Carina would give her another scolding and she had every right to.
"The pills I just gave you are, a prenatal, your heart pill, and the Tylenol as I know you still need it. This should be sufficient enough. So long as you stay hydrated, I see no reason for you to be on an IV including the fact that most of your medications can be taken orally."
"What's the catch," Jo said, narrowing her eyes at her, sensing that there was something more.
"There is none," Carina said as Jo raised her eyebrows. "You are not at risk for preterm labor, and your baby is extremely healthy. If it was up to me I would discharge you this afternoon."
"Really?" Jo asked in surprise. "Does Cristina or Alex know about this?"
"I've already talked with Cristina about it," Carina said, but then she frowned. "However, it's Alex who isn't quite on board yet."
"Of course," Jo said with an eye roll.
"He is only worried for your safety, however overzealous."
Jo nodded and she took another sip of her drink. "He's been really anxious recently. He doesn't sleep well and he's had nightmares. He barely eats and he complains of heartburn, but I know it's an anxious stomach. He's so worried about me, and I can see it in his eyes, but when I ask he says he's just tired. But I don't believe him."
"Nor do I," Carina said with a nod.
"I don't know what to do," Jo admitted to her as she looked down at her wedding rings. "When I was struggling with my mental health, I didn't want to talk to anybody, not even Alex. And I think he's feeling the same thing."
"I know, Maya was the same way," Carina said as she looked down as well, playing with her wedding rings. "However Alex has seen you take on your own mental health issues, and will follow your lead to better health, with a little pushing in the right direction."
Carina reached out and grasped one of Jo's hands, giving it a squeeze. Jo nodded as well. "I'll talk to Cristina. I think in this situation she can help him more than anyone. And I need to apologize to you for the way I've been acting. I'm sorry."
Jo glanced back up at her, with a sheepish look as Carina gave her a small smile. Carina leaned forward and wrapped her in a hug. "I only worry for you, because I care about you Jo, deeply. You are a dear friend and a trusted colleague. I love you like a sister, I don't want to lose you."
Jo agreed with the nod as she teared up. "I love you like a sister too."
Carina smiled as she pulled Jo in for another hug. Carina clung to her before she sighed and let go, getting up and hanging Jo her phone. "You're still an inpatient and you're grounded, and are to remain in your room until you're discharged. However, you are free to call Cristina and Alex. I hope you are able to help him."
Jo nodded, she knew her punishment was only fair as she pulled up Cristina's number and pressed call as Carina left her alone.
"You have to do something about Jo," Alex yelled as he burst into the office Cristina was working in. Cristina had texted him, to have him come talk to her about Jo. Alex was hoping that she could talk some sense into Jo and get her to stay in her room.
"What do you mean, specifically?" Cristina asked although she didn't look up from the paper she was writing. She squinted even as she was wearing glasses.
"Well, I just mean that she's like she's running all over the hospital. No one can find her and she takes out her IV. I just found her working in her lab with mice," Alex explained as he started pacing in front of her.
"Oh yeah the mini livers, how's that going?" Cristina asked, finally looking up at him.
"I don't know," Alex said, throwing up his hands. "She said something about trials, but that's still probably at least a year away. I worry about her. She shouldn't be with mice, especially unhealthy ones. What if they bite her or give her some kind of disease? With her heart, she can't survive that."
Cristina shrugged and he glared at her then shook his head.
"But this is what I'm talking about. She's completely distracted and focused on working rather than healing like she should be. She should be resting in bed. She should be, I don't know, knitting baby stuff or something."
"Jo knitting?" Cristina scoffed with a laugh.
"Well I mean she could if she wanted to," Alex said as he looked over at her.
"Alex, what's your heart rate?" Cristina asked, pausing and finally shutting the laptop as she looked up at him.
"I don't know," Alex said, pausing as he listened to his heartbeat for a second. "Maybe 120 or something."
Cristina rolled her eyes. "Well put your fingers to your neck and test for it."
"Why is this important?" Alex continued his pacing, but Cristina got up and stopped him as she put her hands on his shoulders and put her fingers against his neck.
Alex paused for a breath. He was breathing heavily, but he had been pacing back and forth and running all over the hospital looking for Jo. They had also just had a fight and his emotions were high.
"Your heart rate is elevated, 187," Cristina said as she moved his hand to his shoulder giving it a squeeze. "I'm sure your blood pressure isn't much better."
Cristina pulled out a cuff and placed it on his arm as she took his blood pressure, she frowned at the results and showed it to him. Alex looked up in surprise. "That can't be right, that's way too high okay."
"Come on, let's go sit down and take a couple of deep breaths," Cristina said as Alex nodded and they both went over to the couch.
Alex said he knew what she was doing as he let out a sigh. Before he breathed in and out. He remembered the song the kids used to sing, 'One little breath blew away the clouds.' As he breathed out. 'Then in came the sun and melted the snow.' He often sang it with Helena and Luna as it helped them with their meltdowns and tantrums.
He sat down next to Cristina as she took his blood pressure again and smiled. "Much better."
"What's the point of all this though?" Alex asked, calmly, but he wasn't sure where she was going with all this.
"When was the last time you had a panic attack?" Cristina softly asked him as he shook his head.
"It was when Jo was rushed into surgery."
"Let me rephrase this, when was the last time your chest was so tight you couldn't breathe?"
"Are you saying that I'm having heart issues now?"
"No, but I'm guessing the last time you felt that was, was this afternoon, when Jo wasn't there in her room.
"It's not that she wasn't there, it's that no one could find her. She could have a heart attack. What if she had died or gone into preterm labor? Or…."
"Alex, why don't you look at the numbers?" Cristina said, pulling up her computer again and pulling out Jo's latest test results.
He looked over the labs and the stress test results, including the echo that played on the computer. Her heart is strong, there was no denying it.
"I recommended that she be discharged as of tomorrow and Carina and I both agree. Maggie said she'll take up monthly appointments with Jo until the baby's born and after that every 6 months. She'll get an echo and a stress test and she'll send me the results, but I've also booked a plane home for tonight."
"You're leaving now? But what if…."
"Alex, take a breath again."
Alex growled but did as he was told. He took a deep breath, letting the tightness in his chest uncurl and subside for the moment.
"Your wife is healthy again, you don't need me to babysit her anymore. You can go home and I'm going to go home too."
"But what if…." Alex trailed off as he felt his chest tighten. The anxiety curled inside of him like a spring on a Jack in the box, ready to burst open at any minute.
"Jo said you've been having trouble sleeping."
"Yeah, but I just have a lot on my plate with Jo and the girls, plus Luna stopped sleeping through the night so I did too and Helena is suddenly biting at daycare so I have to pick her up early and Jo naps during the day and then is up early in the morning and late a night…."
Cristina raised an eyebrow at him, not believing his justifications. "Carina said Jo's sleeping well and that Luna only wakes up once in the middle of the night but goes back down easy. I can't say for the biting thing that's your department."
Alex laughed a little as he ran his hand over his face. "But I don't, stare up at the ceiling and worry. I'm always going to worry about my wife and our daughters, you can't change that."
"There's worrying about life and then there's anxiety. Alex, I think it might be wise to make an appointment with your GP to discuss therapy and potential anti-anxiety medication."
"I don't know if I'm there yet," Alex said with a shake of his head.
Cristina just gave him a soft smile. "I think we might be."
Alex looked away from her, staring at the wall as his chest tightened again. An image of Jo laying on the hospital bed, her eyes not focusing on him and telling him that she didn't feel well. Cristina put a hand on his back and rubbed up and down. That brought him back as he let out a shaky breath.
He didn't realize he was crying until the tears fell onto his lap and Cristina offered him a tissue. It was like a release of emotions that had been building up for the past month. All of that fear, and anxiety, and worry, and stress of the situation, came pouring out as he cried. Cristina just rubbed his back and offered him tissues. She didn't make fun of him, she never would and for that he was grateful.
He remembered when he first told Cristina that he loved Jo. Lying on her bed in her room staring up at the ceiling admitting his love for Jo for the first time. Back then he was scared, but it was a different kind of fear, the kind of rejection and heartbreak. If he knew then what he knew now, he would have punched Myers before he had the chance to hurt Jo. He would have loved her sooner and helped her divorce Paul before he lashed out at Andrew. He would have kissed her, loved her, and married her again in a heartbeat. Looking at their life now, he knew that it was all worth it. Even if it meant having to go through all this again. But, he was desperate to get back to the way things were before her heart failed, or at least to have a new normal again.
"I think therapy would be good," Alex finally admitted as he wiped away the last of the tears with a nod.
"I'll help you make an appointment with a therapist today, but first I think you should talk to Jo and make up with her," Cristina said, giving him a little nudge and Alex agreed with another nod.
"Will you at least stay for dinner? If Jo gets discharged maybe we could have dinner at Meredith's house," Alex asked. "I feel like we haven't really spent any time with you and Meredith, just the three of us."
"Why don't you both meet me in the pits after you've made up with Jo and we can drink and talk about how things have changed."
"I've really missed you."
"I've missed you too," Cristina said as she pulled him in for a hug and Alex hugged her back. Neither one of them were good with physical affection but this felt warranted. "You and Mer have to come to Switzerland and bring the kids too. I'm sure they'll have a blast."
"I don't know about that," Alex said with a small laugh. "Meredith's kids would probably enjoy it, but I don't know about having two toddlers and a baby on the plane."
"I could get you a private jet?" Cristina said with a shrug as if a private jet was a normal way to travel.
"We'll see," Alex said with a smile.
Alex approached Hayes as he stood at the nurse's station on the ped's floor going over his chart work. He had stopped by his office to come down from the high of his emotions and to pick up Jo's mac and cheese. Hayes glanced up at him with a nod before he went back to his work. The two of them had worked together in the Peds department since the merger with Pac-North. They were co-chiefs, but neither was willing to bend to the other. They often butted heads as they had different approaches to things. However, they were starting to put aside their egos and work together as Hayes had stepped up to help him since Jo had gotten sick.
"I heard Jo escaped again," Hayes said with a smirk.
Alex sighed as he shook his head. "Don't even remind me and don't help her again."
"She's a grown woman, Karev and she's mostly recovered," Hayes argued back with his excuses.
"I don't want to hear it Hayes," Alex said, raising his voice. "It's bad enough that you go along with her and hide out in your office with her."
"Karev," Hayes said with a stern voice as Alex growled. "When my wife, Abigail, was in the hospital all she wanted was a bit of normalcy. So I'd take her to have lunch with me in my office like we used to do before she got sick. Jo needed the same normalcy so I had lunch with her in my office. It's more than you do for her."
Alex took in Hayes's scolding with a grain of salt. Yet, when Hayes brought up Abigail, he softened. Hayes was just looking out for Jo as a friend and Alex did appreciate that. He understood what they were going through, given his experience with his own wife. He was also right, although Alex was reluctant to admit it.
"I know, and Jo must have loved that," Alex admitted as he looked up at Hayes, the animosity gone.
"She did, but she would have preferred to have lunch with you. It's mac and cheese day, her favorite," Hayes gently reminded him.
"Yeah, I know that too. I got a bowl for her. I don't think Jo can't stay in the hospital now that she doesn't have to. But I need to take paternity leave so I can be with her. She hates being here and she hates being home alone, but if I'm home with her, I'm hoping she'll let me take care of her. I want to take care of my wife. And I need you to take over for me and run the peds department. I know we butt heads on it, but we've been co-chiefs since I came back from Pac North and you're the only one I trust with my patients, well you and Schmitt too, but don't tell him I said that."
"Yeah, the resident doesn't need another ego boost now that he's got his confidence," Hayes agreed with a smile. "But are you sure? Now that she's recovering more, Jo will settle down if you give her a little bit of freedom and I knew you talked about working until the delivery."
"I'm sure, Cristina and Carina agreed that she shouldn't work. I still think she should be on light bed rest too but that's not going to happen. If Jo has to be at home and not working then it's only fair if I do the same," Alex said, sure of his plan.
Hayes' expression softened as he nodded. "You should know that I've already talked to some of your patients and introduced myself about taking over your service."
"You went behind my back and stole my patients?" Alex asked, putting his hands on his hips.
"Was I wrong to do so?" Hayes asked with a raised eyebrow. "You've been more focused on Jo than your work and for good reason, but someone needed to step in."
"Okay," Alex relented, putting his hands down. "I'll officially hand my patients over to you. I already talked to Chief Altmen and since I'm already on leave she's agreed to start my paternity leave at the end of the day."
"That sounds good, Karev. We can handle it here, go take care of your wife," Hayes said with a smile patting his back in silent support.
"Thank you, Hayes," Alex said letting out a sigh of relief as he felt the weight of the world lift off his shoulders.
It took a while to get everything organized. There was a mountain of paperwork and charts. Alex and Hayes met with all of his patients and he was able to hand them over with confidence. With everything in place for him to go on leave, Alex packed up his bag, closed his office, and took off his white coat. Then he went to his wife.