Again, Kim's body shot awake.
She gasped, her heart beating hard in her chest, and started coughing. She could still taste salt lingering in the back of her throat, the terror that nearly seized her limbs. It faded as Kim continued coughing, yanking the covers off of her so she could put her feet on the floor, bending over.
After a few moments, when she didn't feel like she was hacking up a lung, she attempted a few deep breaths. She hated this—hated it. So much that her heart tightened again, in anger instead of pain. She'd actually held her breath while she was sleeping, again, dreaming of being under water, and she'd actually choked on her own spit this time. Was her body trying to kill her?
She vaulted off the bed, throwing a sweatshirt over her tank top and angrily tied her hair into a knot. Not if she kills her body, first.
She barely registered the time — 5:22 A.M. Not even the sun was fully crested over the horizon.
She tugged on her shoes and chugged a glass of tap water, trying to get the imagined taste of salt out of her mouth, still wheezing. She stomped out of the apartment and down the stairs, not even bothering to stretch. Maybe if she ran until she completely exhausted herself, her body wouldn't fight her to sleep this time. Or if she pulled something, she'd be forced to stay in bed. Whatever.
Her feet pounding on the ground, she ran straight to the beach. She was sure she looked ridiculous—a bat out of hell as she raced down the wooden stairs and on the beach, the wet sand making her shoes damp.
She almost ran right in, but stopped before touching the dark, curling waves. The sky was dark enough to match the ocean, and that endlessness was what stopped her. It was too dark, too cold, and dangerous to be out there by herself. All she could about was her dream—her nightmare, her memories—of being completely submerged under the waves, fighting for air.
In her dream, she was alone. Completely, and utterly alone. No legs kicking overhead, no surfboards or paddle boards on the surface. She felt it, too, that loneliness. It clung to her, heavier than a rock. The heavy waves felt like fists as they knocked her into the sharp rocks.
Kim stood there, glaring out into the ocean, shaking. She wanted to keep her body moving and ease the restlessness in her limbs. She barely felt the cold air, but her teeth chattered anyways. Anger boiled in her throat as she whispered, "Fuck you."
It wasn't enough; she locked her arms straight against her sides and tightened her hands into fists. She took several steps back, her heels sinking into the wet sand. After a deep breath—deep enough to made her gag at the taste in the air—she shouted, "Fuck you! I hate that you left. You left me, you left me!"
The wind bit her hands and she hugged her middle. "I hate you—I hate you for leaving. I hate you!"
She wanted to vault herself into the ocean. She wanted to pick up something big and heavy and throw it into the hungry waves. Most of all, she wanted the pain in her chest to stop matching the burn of the ocean air. She wasn't fully aware that she was screaming wordlessly until she ran out of air and started coughing again.
Was she being cut in half? She bent over, coughing so hard she nearly threw up. Kim brought a trembling hand to her face, her cheeks warm and wet. Wet? She was crying.
Memories she tucked away resurfaced: Of weekday afternoons skipping school so she could be with her dad at the beach. Watching him compete while sitting in her mother's lap. Her first, terrifying swim lesson while her dad whispered encouraging words, letting her know how proud he was of her. And finally, the day of the surfing accident, the last day she was in the same body of water as her father.
She needed to calm down, but she couldn't shake the anxiety out of her. She took deep breaths, lifting her hands over her head and paced back and forth. Her foot caught on something and she fell, catching herself with a hiss. Something cold and sharp sliced into her leg.
"Ah!—ow." Another sob rose in her mouth. She swallowed it down and sat on the sand. Bits of pebbles and sand stuck to her leg, and the gash stretched red and bloody from the bottom of her knee to mid-shin. The cut matched the other scars on her body—maybe this one would scar, too.
The sight of the dark red blood stark against her skin, blue from the cold, was what finally did it. She hugged her knees to her chest, and sobbed.
Jared didn't call, and he didn't come back to school for the rest of the week.
There was a part of her that felt stupid for even hoping that he would. As if one study session would fix it. One kiss. She walked into class each morning, her hope breaking into smaller and smaller pieces.
She was curious to see how Jared would act around her, and she hoped his absence wasn't the answer. It was just a kiss, just a kiss. And on her cheek, too—it didn't even really count.
It was embarrassing to go to class without Jared's work. Mr. Adams waited until the period was over to say something to her. "Ms. Connweller—please give Jared a warning. If I were him, I would be very concerned about walking that stage in May."
It didn't help that Charlie kept looking at her during school all week with sad eyes. He was overly apologetic; she wondered if he was saying sorry so much more for his benefit than hers. It took everything in her to not bite his head off when he looked at her with those big brown eyes. At least he kept his distance.
Between her horrible nightmare and Jared's absence, Kim was in a foul mood. Her eyes lingered on the track team warming up outside after school. The cut on her leg throbbed all week; she was careful not to wear shorts around her mom.
Maya was possibly even more pissed about Charlie's kiss than Kim was. "He said he wouldn't even say anything to you, I swear. I think when he saw Jared, he was, like, obviously threatened. Typical guy."
Kim decided to keep what happened between her and Jared to herself. It wasn't clear to her what Jared's intentions were—if the kiss was just in reaction to Charle's.
"Are you too pissed off to go to the party?"
"I'll go." Maya looked unconvinced. "Seriously, I'll be there. I'm not angry at Charlie. Besides, if we don't go to this party, he'll probably freak out." The last thing she needed was more AIM messages asking her if "they were okay." Ugh.
"Okay, whatever you say, girl." Maya squinted at her. "You invited Jared, didn't you?"
Kim groaned in her hands.
"I'm going to take that as a yes."
She knew the day that Embry returned to school. In first period, his name was in everyone's whispers across the aisles. "Embry's freaking huge now!" — "He looks exhausted" — "I saw Embry with Sam and Paul at First Beach at, like, midnight" — "I saw Embry in his mom's store and he was, like, totally spaced out! He has to be on drugs."
Both Embry and Charlie were gone during lunch; with them, and Jared and Paul all absent, the cafeteria was a flurry of gossip. She wondered what Jacob and Quil thought, but they spent the afternoon in the principal's office when they got into an argument after fourth period. She never caught what it was about, but she could guess.
The night of the party, heavy clouds clung to the sky and the ocean air made the wind absolutely brutal, but the students weren't phased.
All Friday, Kim dreaded it, despite what she told Maya. She picked out a crew neck sweater, and tucked into a pair of her mom's high-waisted jeans. She brushed her stick-straight hair and washed her face before waiting for Maya on the steps outside her building.
"Who's ready to get fucked up?!" Maya shouted in her face when Kim jumped into the passenger seat. Her short curly hair was wild and beautiful, and she wore a yellow, low cut top that was striking against her dark brown skin. Had Kim underdressed?
She buckled her seat belt on, empty-handed. "Is it BYOB?"
"Screw that. As if Charlie would do that to us. You might have forgiven him, but I'm going to milk his guilt for what it's worth." She honked her horn. Kim sank deeper in her seat when the neighbors looked at them. "Free beer, bitches!"
Charlie's house was exactly how Kim remembered it. The Littleseas had one of the largest homes on the reservation, with two stories and a wraparound porch—an ideal location to host parties for bored teenagers.
The living room was overcrowded. The smell and sounds of underage drunks filled her vision in a way that made her nose wrinkle. The music blasted through the worn speakers that sat slumped on the frayed carpet, alternating between rap and pop, and only the coolest guys subtly nodded their head along to the beat. Kim couldn't keep her eyes from scanning the crowd.
"Well, this looks fun," Maya mumbled to her then laughed.
"This was your idea," Kim reminded her over the music.
Her friend dragged her through the crowd. "C'mon, grandma, let's drink."
The kitchen counters were full of open bags of chips, boxes of half-eaten, greasy pizza, and beer bottles. The end of one of the counters had an assortment of different types of liquor and stacks of plastic cups. She poured herself a cup of beer. Liquid courage.
The first floor was full of classmates and others who graduated a year or two before. A few from track recognized her and waved politely, and she smiled in return. It reminded her of all of the late nights out with the team.
As if she had willed him into existence, Kim turned the corner, and there Embry Call was, alongside Jacob and Quil.
Kim was shocked to see him, and she couldn't help but stare at him.
Despite the close quarters, there was a noticeable gap between the boys and everyone else at the party. Embry wore a pair of baggy sweat pants and an oversized shirt—definitely not something someone would wear to a party. He looked uncomfortable in his own skin, his eyes shifty as he looked around.
When his eyes landed on Kim, they widened.
"Embry! Hey!" Maya called, waving as she stepped forward.
He turned and whispered something to Jacob before he turned and disappeared into the crowd.
Kim was concerned Maya was going to go after him, but she stopped in front of the boys. "What happened?"
"Bathroom," Jacob replied after a moment of silence. He looked over at Kim. "What's up?"
"Hey, guys." She sipped her drink while Maya talked with them. Something about math class. She let her do most of the talking, feeling her stomach twist in knots. The beer smelled terrible and tasted even worse.
"Embry's probably not coming back," Jacob confessed when Maay asked about him, again.
"What?" Maya frowned into the bottle of her second beer. "Is he like, avoiding us, or something?"
"No." But his eyes darted over to Kim just quick enough for her to pause mid-sip. She looked over his shoulder, past where Embry disappeared. Her stomach twisted into knots. "He probably just needs some fresh air or something."
"Is it awkward for you guys to be here?" Maya asked. Kim shot her a look. "What? It's not like they don't hear the rumors."
Jacob crossed his arms over his chest. "This school is full of idiots."
"Embry invited us," Quil said, fiddling with the zipper on his hoodie. Kim's eyebrows shot up in surprise at that. "Charlie invited him, and Em got scared that it would be too much. No one's really said anything directly to him yet, but…" He drifted off, shrugged.
"I need a refill," Kim announced. "Do you need anything?"
Her friend shook her head, and the boys did the same. She turned away from them and walked toward the kitchen. She could feel a headache begin to pound behind her eyes and she rubbed her face.
Kim couldn't stop her eyes wandering, searching for any signs of Jared. With Embry here, there might be a chance he'll come. Or not. She tried not to be too disappointed at the thought.
Unfortunately, Charlie found her first. He made a beeline straight for her as soon as they made eye contact across the kitchen.
"Kim, hey!" He reached for her hand, but it was holding her cup like it was a lifesaver. He squeezed her forearm instead. "Glad you could make it! You look…great." He wore a large, boyish grin. He was obviously a little drunk and smelled like pot, but his eyes were soft as he looked her up and down. "It's so great that you made it!"
Despite her annoyance, a blush crept across her cheeks. He always liked it when her hair was down; she'd forgotten about that. At his familiar gaze, she remembered the other times he looked at her like that. She couldn't lie and say that it didn't feel nice to be seen.
"Thanks. You, too." She poured more into her cup and took a nervous sip. She grimaced at the taste. The beer was warm and flat. "Where's your brother?" She nervously ran her fingers through the ends of her hair.
Charlie pointed to the ceiling with his bottle. "Collin's in his room. I told him that he should probably lock the door if he doesn't want anyone to barge in."
She grimaced. "Poor Collin," she said with a laugh.
The new Kanye song came on and the crowd rocked their bodies to the beat.
He nodded along for a moment, and she observed as his eyes wandered. She sighed and pulled in a deep gulp of her drink.
"Hey, Kim. I just want to say—I'm really, really sorry for crossing your boundaries the other night. And kissed you on the cheek. That wasn't cool."
She tapped her nails against the plastic cup. "It's okay—"
"No, 'cause, it totally isn't. I feel like a huge idiot for saying this, I just—I saw you with Jared, and I felt jealous, okay? I know that's totally on me, but I'm just concerned, you know?"
Oh, god, not this again.
"Hey, isn't Embry here?" She looked around.
That probably wasn't the best thing to talk about, but it did the trick. He cocked his head at her. "Uh, yeah, why?"
"Just, um, just wondering. I hadn't seen him since the bonfire and wanted to see if he was…okay."
He shrugged. "Yeah, I dunno. He's a little fucked up right now. Still recovering from everything going on. I thought maybe being out, you know, with people other than Sam and those guys, might help him, but it's kinda freaking him out." He looked at her closely. "That's why I'm a little nervous about you and Jared."
She bristled. "'Me and Jared'? But… There isn't—"
"You know Embry talked about him, right?"
She twisted her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment. Her frustration fell away at the thought of hearing more. "He did? What did he say?"
"That he was obsessed with you."
The room tilted. She swallowed thickly. "R-really?"
"Yeah." Worry pinched his face and he frowned. "And like I get it, we're not together anymore—I don't have any right to be jealous. But that doesn't mean I don't still care about you. Or that I'm not worried. I don't want to see you get hurt." He pressed his hand on her forearm again, and she looked down at it.
She could feel her heart pound in her chest. "Y-yeah, okay. Um, thanks for your concern, Charlie, but I don't think you need to worry about that. He hasn't even spoken to me in days."
He didn't look convinced. "Okay. Whatever you say, Kim. I just didn't want to not say anything in case something happens."
What would happen? Her cheeks warmed at the memory of Jared's lips pressed there. "I should get back to Maya."
"Right, okay. See you." He waved at her with a sad smile.
Stupid, stupid. She could have interrogated Charlie and asked him more questions, made him divulge everything Embry said about Jared. But she was still stuck on what Embry said about Jared—he's obsessed with you.
Obsessed?! Her mind skipped over that word like a broken record.
That word was still on her mind when she walked out on the porch. She needed fresh air.
It wasn't until the cold air touched her that she realized how hot and sweaty she felt. The headache from earlier still lingered, pressed against her skull now that she was by herself. She debated dumping the rest of the beer on the crab grass below when she heard commotion beside her.
"Who invited him?" a voice behind her asked.
And there, walking up the driveway, was Jared, alone. Kim's stomach dropped instantly at the sight.
Jared's black hoodie was covered in dried mud and bits of leaves. For once, Jared didn't have his hood up, covering most of his face; his hair was tied at the top of his head, softly framing the sharp angles of his jaw and cheekbones. The shorts he wore must have been the same track shorts he wore last year, but they were so much smaller, riding more than halfway up his thigh. Her entire body froze before melting just a bit at the sight. He just looked...wow.
Black hair fell on his forehead and tucked behind his ears. Kim had an image of taking his ponytail out, curling her fingers between those strands, and pulling his head down to her level—and had to force herself to stop thinking about that, right now!
She averted her gaze, but it wasn't quick enough. As soon as Jared saw her, her eyes swiveled back to his like a boomerang. He winked. A creeping blush overcame her entire face with a deep burn.
Until Jacob stepped out on the porch. Jared stopped, mid-step.
"Absolutely not," Jacob hissed, glaring at him from across the lawn. "You're not allowed to be here."
Around them, teenagers crowded the front porch and whispered excitedly between each other. "Didn't he punch Embry at the beach?" a junior beside Kim whispered to a friend.
"Dude, I thought Jared got expelled?"
Kim's heart plummeted. He hesitated. His eyes flickered to the woods, to Jacob, and back. Like he was calculating an escape plan. He looked so…tired.
"I didn't know this was your house," Jared finally replied, his voice low.
"You weren't invited," he repeated, seething.
"I did." She didn't even notice Embry until he stepped out the front door after Jake. All eyes were on him. He looked around nervously and cleared his throat. "I invited him. It's okay. We're cool"
More hushed whispers from the crowd.
Embry's eyes shifted and he crossed his arms uncomfortably over his chest. Jacob said something that she couldn't catch, but Jared rolled his eyes.
"You know what, it's fine. I'll go." He turned and began to walk away from the house towards the path into the woods he eyed earlier.
Kim's arm flew up, a portion of her drink sloshing on her hand. "Wait!" Her feet moved her forward, and she pushed her way down the porch steps.
Everyone watched her. Jared's eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the red solo cup thrust against his chest. The beer trickled wetly down her arm, but she refused to move until he took the cup from her.
"I got you a drink." Why did she sound so freaking breathless?
Jared squinted down at her, the smallest twinkle of mischief in his eyes. She raised her eyebrows at him—just take the stupid cup, she wanted to hiss if the others weren't watching them so closely. He raised an eyebrow back at her.
Miraculously, Jared took the cup from her. He plucked it up by the lip of the cup, careful not to touch her.
"Thanks," he mumbled.
Behind her, she heard commotion and turned in time to see Jacob disappear angrily into the house. Embry shot a glance at them over his shoulder before following. Whispers from the others continued, but they kept their distance.
When she looked back over to Jared, who was staring at the wet cup in his hand. "Oh, um. You don't have to actually drink that," she muttered weakly.
He moved it away when she reached for it, which wasn't too difficult, given his height. Wow, he's really, really tall.
"This yours?" She nodded. He brought the cup to his mouth and took a drink, his eyes locked on hers. Her stomach somersaulted and she swallowed.
He's obsessed with you.
"You made it." She hadn't meant for it to sound so…happy, but the small smile that curled on his lips made it worth it.
"You invited me," he said simply, his lips wet. His tongue licked his bottom lip and she looked away.
He handed the drink back to her.
"Do you want to come in?"
He shook his head and scanned the people watching them from the front porch. "Nah. There's way too many people here."
She thought for a moment before jutting her chin to the porch on the side of the house. "Come on. We don't have to stand out here, anyways."
She didn't wait for his response. She turned and walked to the porch where less people were, trusting that he'd follow. He wasn't far behind.
The music was louder there, but they were mostly out of sight. Jared rested his forearms on the wood railing, and Kim stood a couple feet beside him. He leaned forward with his fist under his chin, staring out into the dark forest. A thick strand of hair fell out of his hair tie and rested against his brow. She fought the urge to say something, or worse, move it herself. Am I crazy?!
Distant conversations swirled around them. She drummed her fingers on the side of the cup, biting her tongue. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him, and the longer they went without talking, the harder it was to think of the right thing to say.
She shivered when a gust of cold air hit her. "Aren't you cold?" she asked, gesturing to his shorts.
He shrugged. "Nah."
She stepped back to take a better look at them. She tried not to pay too much attention to his muscular thighs. "Are those your track shorts?" she teased. They still fit him, but…barely. Oh, god, had she sounded breathless?
His eyes slid to hers. "Why are you looking?"
She gulped at his words and forced out a small laugh.
She ran the tip of her finger across the outside of her cup, drawing shapes on the condensation. Even though Jared put his mouth on it—or possibly even because of it—she lifted the cup to her mouth and took a small sip. She grimaced despite the taste—yep, the beer still tasted god awful.
"You like that crap?"
She shook her head and sucked in a quick breath.
He lifted a hand to her. "Give it here."
Her heart thrummed steadily against her chest, and watched him take another deep drink. He shuddered and she laughed at his expression. "I can't have you suffer by yourself."
She laughed again when he took another quick sip and coughed.
She reached for it and their fingers touched. His hands lingered, and she was surprised to feel their warmth. If her body ran that warm, she would wear shorts, too.
Jared jerked his head, looking over her shoulder. "Your friends need you?"
She looked through the living room window and watched as Maya, Elizabeth, and a few other girls from their grade danced badly, and sang even worse, to "1 Thing" by Amerie. She laughed at Maya's robot moves; she was definitely a light weight. "I think they've got it handled."
She could see Jake and Quil standing with Embry in the living room, the two talking furiously together. It was incredible how small Embry could make himself when he was nervous. Charlie was nowhere in sight, thankfully.
"You aren't Embry's babysitter, are you?" He gave her a blank look and she lifted her hands up. "Okay, okay. No more questions about Embry. Got it." I already know I'm right.
He rolled his eyes and she bit back a smile. "Maybe we're friends, Kim."
The way he said her name made her brain feel like static. "You are?"
He raises his eyebrows. "The best of friends."
She doubted that. But as long as it kept Sam Uley away, she wouldn't complain. He'd promised he'd protect Embry, hadn't he?
How often had she daydreamed about being alone with him? She was flooded again with mortification. If he had only known how often she thought about them together, she would have passed out right then and there.
I really, really need to get a freaking grip.
"Do you miss track?"
She blinked. That came out of nowhere. "Sure…sometimes I do. I think I just miss running with other people. But I was never close with any of them… Not like you were." She took another small sip. "What about you?"
"Nah."
They stood silently for another moment. Kim shifted her weight and she drank the final sip before saying, "Glad this conversation is going so well."
He snorted and she smiled when he faced her, leaning his head comically on his palm. He was way too tall for that, but it was…cute. "Okay, fair enough." He took a deep breath and sighed, pretending to think. "I miss some of them, sure. Like Kyle and Zane and Coach. Except for Steven McCoy—fuck that guy."
They both laughed. He smiled softly at her.
"And…Embry was cool—we weren't that close, though." He paused, considering her. "But I'm a little surprised."
"About what?"
He pressed his lips together in a hard line for a moment, thinking. "I thought that when I… After everything happened, they'd, you know, check on me. Ask me if I'm okay, not just…make jokes about it, or like, make assumptions about me. But no one has. They all just look at me like I'm some kind of freak. Or they just gossip about me, about all of us." He looked over at her. "Well, everyone except for the quiet girl in my history class."
She laughed nervously despite her heat breaking for him. I wouldn't be so sure. "Oh, 'the quiet girl.' I'm honored."
He smirked over at her, still against the railing before he dropped his arm and leaned towards her. Her heart picked up as his entire attention turned towards her. She wouldn't claim to be a master at reading body language, but his entire body faced her; it was getting increasingly difficult to ignore her racing heart.
Oh god, he knows. He has to know. But she knew something, too.
He's obsessed with you. She shivered.
"I thought that when you didn't show up for class that you were, um…upset with me." With nothing else to do, she tore at the plastic cup.
"Why would I be upset with you?"
"Not upset, I guess—I dunno. I thought maybe you regretted…studying with me that night," she finished lamely. If he did regret kissing her cheek, he made it abundantly obvious. He was not obsessed. No way.
Jared snorted. She rose one eyebrow up at him. "I can't believe I thought you didn't talk"
She lifted her chin up. "I talk. I'm direct."
"Hm. Apparently." He looked down at her with half-lidded eyes and a soft smile that made her insides melt. "I don't regret anything about being with you that night."
She bit down on her bottom lip as he considered her.
It shouldn't feel so intimate to be outside with him. They weren't even alone; the Littlesea house was filled inside and out with drunk teenagers, smoking and laughing in the periphery. But his eyes were on her and she couldn't ignore this feeling, like breathing air in for the first time after being underwater.
He continued to smile as he watched her fidget. "I wasn't—I'm sorry if I made things difficult for you."
For some reason, at that, he barked out a short laugh, shaking his head. "Right."
She bit her lip, fighting the urge to move. A part of her wanted to take a step back, to create space between them. But a larger part of her wanted to step closer. "You keep missing school, and not just Mr. Adams's class, either. I'm just…" She took a deep, staggering breath in. "I'm just worried about you."
"Why?"
"Well, you didn't even bother going to school. I'm nervous about what that means for you, and if you're even going to graduate now." She forced out a laugh. "And I dunno, I thought that maybe you were avoiding me, too, or something."
"It's taking a lot of effort to stay away from you."
That made her pause, at a loss for words. Her eyes flew to his face, studying him. Her whole body warmed at his serious expression. That wasn't—he didn't mean that—that wasn't what he meant—
His voice was soft. "You don't think it costs me to be here? That they wouldn't ask questions?" He cocked an eyebrow. "You don't think everyone in that house is talking about us right now?"
He was right. Students were milling around, but kept their eyes on them. They barely covered their loud whispers, but she was too far away to catch anything that they were saying other than their names.
"Why does it matter that they think?" Why was she so breathless?
"Because I'm supposed to keep my distance. And I'm doing a pretty good job with everyone but you."
"I'd say you're doing a good job keeping your distance." She had to strain her head, tilting it even further back to see him. She barely noticed that he stepped even closer to her—not with the look he was giving her.
Another sharp, humorless laugh left his mouth.
It didn't matter where they were, or who could see them. He was so close to her that they only had to whisper to each other, and her skin tingled at his words. She noticed goosebumps on his neck, and his eyes didn't stray very far from her mouth when she spoke.
"I assumed you were asking around just for Embry. I didn't realize you two were so close." He tried to run a hand through his hair, but his hair tie caught his fingers and he dropped his hand. "I guess I, uh, didn't think you'd care."
She wanted to laugh. "What? Embry's like a brother to me. And I've always cared about you—"
"Have you?" A strange glint sparked in his eyes at that, and her mouth snapped shut, a warm blush heating her face.
He moved impossibly closer. Their arms touched. She had to crane her neck to see his face. Her words died in her mouth, leaving it dry. "Have you always cared about me?"
Kim's heartbeat wildly. This was bad, this was really, really bad. Fantasies during class were different from the real thing. The real thing had teeth, it had claws. And it was dragging them both down.
Was that a bad thing…?
Laughter drew Kim's eyes away from him, and she noticed a group of people staring at them, most laughing. She took a step back and held her breath.
Someone stomped drunkenly up to them.
"Kim! Maya is asking for you. She's, like, throwing up everywhere—oh," Elizabeth stood at the door, her eyes wide as she took in Jared and Kim standing so close together. Kim crossed her arms over her chest. It felt like cold water splashed on her face, and the night was so much brighter. What in the world was going on?
She had to blink a few times, rubbing her eyes. "O-okay, yeah. Where is she?"
"She's upstairs." Elizabeth tilted her head at them, a smirk on her face. "Unless you two need more time—?"
"Ack!" Kim shot her a glare, trying to shut her up. "I'm going, I'm going!"
She cast Jared an apologetic look before following her back in the house. He watched her with dark eyes, leaning back against the railing. His forced calmness didn't hide how taut his body was, and there was a slight tremor in his hands.
"I'll see you?"
He didn't respond with anything other than a slight nod. She didn't have to look at him to know that his eyes stayed on her until the door closed behind them. She felt them.
Kim followed a few steps behind Elizabeth, feeling disorientated. It seemed like the amount of people nearly doubled in the last hour. Were there this many people who even went to their school?
"Shut up," Kim groaned when Elizabeth whirled around to look at her with a big grin.
"I didn't say anything!" she practically squealed.
Kim knew she was being silly, but it felt like all eyes were on her as they walked through the living room to the stairs.
"What happened?" she asked over the blaring music.
"She's in the bathroom. She's so wasted." She giggled.
Kim's familiarity with the Littlesea house came from more than just house parties and holidays. When they were together, Kim spent as much time as possible there. Growing up, this was like a second home for her. She was familiar with the embarrassing baby pictures, where all of the cups and silverware were. It didn't make her sad walking through the large house, just nostalgic.
On their way through the kitchen, Kim grabbed a lukewarm water bottle from the counter.
When they reached the upstairs, the music was louder. Thankfully, Charlies was nowhere in sight, but neither was Maya.
"What happened?" Kim asked over the blaring music.
"She's in the bathroom. She was playing Truth or Dare, and Steven dared her to kiss Charlie. She's throwing up now." She giggled.
What—?
"Hey, it was so totally not because of that!" Charlie appeared around the corner, along with Steven. Oh great—speak of the devil and he shall appear along with his minions. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.
Charlie pretended to be angry as he looked at them with a frown, but he was obviously holding back a laugh.
"She's so wasted." Elizabeth laughed harder.
Oh, Maya. She turned to the bathroom door and cringed at the sounds coming from in there. She'd give her a few more minutes, then.
Kim knocked on the door, and a groan answered her. "Couldn't hold your beer?"
"D-don't—" Maya hiccuped. "Oh, god, do not say that word around me, or I'll—I'll—oh, god…"
They all cringed at the sounds that followed.
"Oh, no." Elizabeth began to look pale.
"There's a bathroom in the basement," Charlie said, and he barely got all the words out before she ran off, stomping down the stairs.
Kim knocked on the door gently. "Do you need anything? Water? A cold towel?" She attempted to open the door, and it slammed shut on her. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise—the force of the slam was pretty strong considering Maya was practically incapacitated.
"Guuuysss…gooo away…" Maya moaned.
Kim hesitated, shooting a look over at Charlie, who shrugged. "Maya, are you sure? You would do the same for me—"
"Lemme. Alooone."
Kim rolled her eyes. So dramatic. "Okay, okay. I have some water out here for you in case you need it. Okay?"
Maya moaned in response, before another round hit her.
"Bro, is she even going to make it?" Steven asked. Kim shot a glare at him—the guy was beyond high, and slurred his words.
"She'll be okay," Charlie said.
"Yeah, after dodging that bullet," his friend snickered, shoving him with a laugh.
Kim could never understand why Charlie hung out with this guy. Steven McCoy was an asshole, and hardly anyone on the team spoke to him.
"Dude, shut up." Charlie started to blush now. "It's Maya's loss. She knows that if it happened, I'd ruin it for anyone else."
Charlie winked and Kim laughed, shaking her head.
"Yeah, I can't wait until Maya is sober enough for me to tell her that," Kim teased.
Charlie's eyes flickered to her's, and she pressed her lips together in a small grin. He was a little tipsy, but it was…cute. It reminded her of all the times they would stumble around his house, kissing and laughing together.
She was far from being a party animal, but Charlie—usually the social butterfly—would devote his entire attention to her, even in front of his friends. She never felt forgotten, or left out. Even now, she could tell he wanted to move closer to her, but he kept his distance. There was a small part of her that missed it. Or maybe it was the beer talking.
"Weeell, that's not entirely true, is it, Kim?"
Her eyes narrowed at Steven's mean smile.
It stretched across his face despite her look. "I mean, you dumped his ass after, what, two years? Must not be that good if you're willing to slum it with Jared Cameron now?"
Kim's body stiffened. "Excuse me?"
"What the hell, man?" Charlie snapped, all trace of humor gone from his face.
Seeing he was in the minority, he threw his hands up and shrugged. "What? It's just a joke, guys."
"It's not fucking funny," Charlie hissed. "You don't know anything, so shut the hell up."
Kim's face burned, gritting her teeth together. The plastic water bottle crinkled as she gripped it tightly in her hand.
A wicked glint shined in Steven's eye. "It's just sad—first Kim dumps your ass, and now Maya's throwing up at just the thought of kissing you—"
"You're an asshole, you know that?" Kim wasn't sure where this was coming from. Sure, it was awkward around Charlie—but Kim didn't want to hash it out with anyone, especially not Steven.
"Oh?" Steven sniggered. "Bold words from sloppy seconds. Maybe you should kiss him again to be sure—?"
White hot anger pounded like a fist in her chest. Sloppy seconds?!
"Fuck you," Kim snapped.
"Don't talk to her that way," Charlie said, taking a step towards him.
"Or what?" Challenge glimmered in his eye.
Suddenly, the bathroom door cracked open. All three of their heads swiveled.
Kim's mouth fell open when she saw Embry lean out of the bathroom, his eyebrows pinched in worry. "Hey, guys…"
"Embry?" Charlie choked out.
He half grinned, half grimaced at them. "What's up?"
Kim's eyes widened at the sight of him. "Wh-what are you doing in there? Is Maya still—?"
Another sound alerted them to her presence. They all groaned, and Embry wrinkled his nose. "Could you guys keep it down a little? Maya's not feeling well, and she has a pretty bad headache."
He turned to Steven, whose face was slack in shock, his eyes wide. Not so tough, now?
Embry stood up straighter to his full height now; he looked impossibly large, standing in front of them. He glared at Steven. "Oh, and Steven? Get the hell out of this house before I drag you out." His voice was pitched lower than usual, and even though it was only directed at him, Kim shivered at the threat.
Steven looked around, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. He was met with glares. "Whatever," he hissed, before turning around and stomping down the stairs.
Their eyes returned to Embry, who watched Steven go with angry eyes. Kim's anger lingered in her still pounding heart and in her wobbly knees.
"What a dickhead." Charlie reached out to put her hand on Kim's elbow. "I can't believe he had the audacity to say that to you."
Kim shrugged. She couldn't believe it either. She could care less that Steven thought of her, but if he was talking about Jared like that, everyone else was, too. That thought made her stomach turn. Did everyone really think she was "slumming it" with Jared? By just talking and studying with him?
"Hey, man," Charlie said. "How are you holding up?"
Embry shrugged, a sheepish look on his face. He was no longer standing tall, and looked much smaller as his eyes darted between the two. "I'm good, yeah. Maya wasn't doing so hot, and I was the only one around when she started feeling sick, so…" He shrugged again.
Charlie looked at him curiously but didn't ask another question.
"Speaking of…" He looked over at Kim. "I think the worst of it's over. Can you take over?"
Kim nodded dumbly up at him. "Sure, yeah. Thanks for doing that."
The corner of his mouth quirked up, the first brief smile she'd seen in weeks. "Of course."
She bit her lip. "Is she…um, does she know it's you in there?"
Embry cocked his head. "Mmm, yeah, I think so? Why?"
"It's just—" It's just that you've been MIA for weeks and now you're suddenly helping my best friend? She shook her head. "Nevermind. I can watch over her."
"Yeah, sure." He stepped out, keeping the bathroom door cracked. Kim caught a glimpse of Maya leaning against the toilet before he closed the door gently behind him.
She bit her lip. "It's good to see you around again, Embry."
He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yeah. It's good to see you all here, too. Sorry about…everything."
That was a loaded statement, if Kim ever heard one. She pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her wrists before crossing her arms over her chest.
"I'll see you down there?" Charlie asked him.
Embry shifted his weight. "I'll be around. I can't stay long."
Charlie cleared her throat. "I'll be quick."
Embry nodded once before turning toward the steps. He looked back over at Kim and opened his mouth. He took in a quick breath before smiling softly. It didn't reach his eyes. "I'll be seeing you, Kim."
Her eyebrows drew together as he tried to look at her with…something. His gaze tried to communicate something to her, but what, she couldn't decipher.
"Yeah," she replied weakly. "Of course, Em."
He turned and quickly stomped down the stairs. The vacuum he left behind was palatable, and the space between her and Charlie left her feeling alone.
Kim turned to the bathroom door, but Charlie reached out to her. He held her elbow in his hand again. "Wait, Kim—I'm sorry Steven said that to you."
Kim wasn't angry anymore. Now she just felt sick. That's always how she felt after she got really angry. She swallowed all of the words she wanted to spew, and it only made her nauseous. "I don't get why you hang out with him."
"That's not going to happen again, believe me." His gaze softened as she looked at her. "I'm glad that he left, otherwise I would've kicked his ass."
She snorted, a small smile touching her lips. She couldn't ever imagine Charlie in a fight. "Thanks, Charlie."
"Of course."
They shifted closer, her body attracted to his heat despite the warm air upstairs. "Hey," he murmured. She looked up at him before he leaned forward to kiss her.
Her eyes flew open, a small gasp left her mouth as soon as he made contact. His eyes were closed tightly but hers stayed open, in shock as he pressed kisses again and again on her slack mouth.
He was actually kissing her? She was still slightly buzzed—from the anger and the alcohol and even Jared—and it made it feel like she was in a dream.
He pressed his mouth gently against hers, his lips dry as they dragged against hers. He kissed her softly for a moment until she pressed them against his, returning the kiss as gently as possible. His hot breath made her cringe instead of making her shiver. It had to end soon, right?
Charlie's mouth felt…familiar. And the familiar was strangely comfortable. He didn't try to deepen it, but even the chaste kiss brought forth so many memories. Some small part of her still wondered if she had any of those same feelings for him she used to.
But…there was a hollowness to their kiss that she couldn't shake. It felt wrong.
Here she was being kissed by someone she used to love—still does love, just not in that way—and all she could think about was when it would end.
She put a hand on his chest and pulled away. The kiss barely lasted a minute, but it felt like forever.
Charlie blushed as he looked at her, his eyes still on her mouth. He licked his lips. "Kim…"
It was now or never. So much for not having the guts to confront him. She drew in a deep breath. "Charlie, no. This needs to stop, okay? I was serious—still am. I…don't want to be with you anymore."
It wasn't as bad as the first time she broke up with him, but damn, it was still hard. This time, at least he wasn't surprised or caught off guard.
He already nodded before she finished, his eyebrows furrowed as he frowned. "Okay. Okay, you're right. I'm sorry."
She swallowed and tilted her head over at the bathroom door. "I better check to see if she's okay," she said in a soft voice. "I'm…sorry, too."
Charlie searched her eyes for a moment before giving her a sad smile. "It's okay. I get it." He lifted up his pinky finger. "No more apologies, 'kay?"
Kim nodded. She was so grateful for this boy, it hurt. She really didn't deserve him. "Okay." Their pinkies curled together.
She could still feel his kiss on her lips as he walked downstairs.
It felt like her heart was being dragged across the carpet after him, hitting each step on the stairs until he disappeared. She wanted to collapse as soon as he was out of view. What a night… She guessed it had to be past midnight. She wasn't sure what else could happen—if one more thing caught her by surprise, she was going to collapse.
She touched her lips with her fingers. Her heart ached for Charlie; she felt…bad that she pushed him away. But she was hopeful that maybe this time he would stay away. Any remaining attraction to him was wiped away with that kiss. At least I have an answer now.
She leaned heavily against the wall, passing the plastic bottle between her hands as she tried to calm her racing thoughts.
It was oddly quiet upstairs. All of the doors were closed, but half the lights were off. All of the party goers must be downstairs or in the basement. She hadn't seen Elizabeth since she ran off, and Maya was hopefully not dying in the bathroom. She was glad to be alone. She wanted to sit with her thoughts a few minutes longer as she thought about Charlie, Embry, and of course, Jared.
Then, from further down the hallway, she felt him before she saw him.
Butterflies erupted in her stomach and fluttered their way to her speeding heart. Now that her eyes were on him, she could hear him step on the stairs fluidly and barely making any sound at all. When he finally reached the top of the stairs, her eyes were already on him. He stood at the top of the stairs, his hands in his hoodie.
Jared leaned against the wall, and the muted light from outside cast a glow on one side of his face. The shadows cut across his features, and darkened his eyes.
She inched towards him. It felt like her shoes had lead in them. When she stopped, there was a bedroom door between them. They stood together, silently looking at each other. His eyes were half-lidded, revealing everything and nothing at the same time. She wondered what he saw in her eyes in turn.
"You're still here," she finally said, her voice cracking.
A smirk touched his lips. "Here I am."
A thrill ran through her at his words. "Why?"
Challenge glittered in his eyes as he looked down at her. "I came here to see you. I thought that was obvious."
It was obvious, wasn't it?
He's obsessed with you.
The alcohol made Kim brave, her words falling out of her mouth. "I thought you said there were too many people for you here."
He took a step towards her. "And I thought I told you it's hard to stay away."
She pinched her bottom lip between her teeth, rolling it between them nervously. He couldn't actually be serious—
She took a small step away from him—to create space or maybe air—but before she could reply, he took another large step after her.
Her eyes shot up to him and his hands were no longer in the pocket, but at his sides. Was he…purposefully closing the distance between them? She took another step, larger this time, and Jared fluidly followed. Her heart picked up in her chest.
Everything outside of them felt muffled. The loud music was distant, the warm lamps dull, and the thought of anyone but him pushed far away. She wasn't alone—couldn't be in a house full of hormonal teenagers—but she felt alone. Well, alone with him.
Jared reached out and gripped the doorframe in his hand, and Kim realized she'd accidentally backed through the open door into the dark guest bedroom. Cuts of moonlight filtered through the blinds and on his face, his hand, his hair.
It highlighted the dark marks on his hand caught her eye.
"Your hand," she breathed, and without stopping to consider what she was doing, she reached for him. He could have easily pulled away from her, but he didn't resist when he pulled at his sleeve and she wrapped her fingers around his wrist. They both shivered as their skin made contact.
Lacerations and bruising clustered on the knuckles of his hand. She didn't remember seeing that earlier. Had he…punched something? Or someone.
"What happened?" It didn't look that recent, she supposed…
"It'll heal," he replied instead.
His face was much closer, and she could see those same unruly strands of hair fall on his forehead and cheeks.
"Your hair…it's getting long again."
He blinked in surprise. Her face warmed, embarrassed as he looked at her curiously.
"It looks goo—um, nice." Oh my god, shut up shut up shut up! She loosened her grip on him, and his arm fell back to his side. How was she always grabbing him—god, did she have no self control anymore?! "I—I mean, before you cut it—um. Forget it. Forget I said anything."
He continued to stare at her. He was so close—did she have to pull him closer?! The intensity of his stare made her want to fidget.
"Did you like it?"
The question caught her off guard. "Like your hair?"
"The kiss," he said, voice flat. "With Littlesea? Was it nice?"
Charlie? He knew? She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
She took a shaky breath in. She wanted to tell him no—that it wasn't necessarily unpleasant, but none of their kisses were "unpleasant." They were just…fine. "We aren't together anymore."
"He wants to change that." His eyes slid over her face, and looked at her lips. "In case it wasn't obvious."
"It's not going to happen," she said.
Downstairs, voices whooped and hollered, turning up the music even more. The bass vibrated the wall she leaned against, and the darkness mixed with the deafening noise suddenly made it very apparent how alone she and Jared were. No one else was upstairs, and everyone either disappeared downstairs or snuck into the various bedrooms.
Kim shifted her weight.
"Charlie doesn't like you." She meant to say it in a joking manner, but her tone was off.
The corner of his mouth curled into a sneer at his name. "You think I give a shit what he thinks?"
"He thinks you're dangerous. And that I should stay away from you." Her heart felt like it stuttered in her chest. She licked her lips, hesitating for a moment when he didn't interrupt her, before she said, "He said that you…that you're obsessed with me."
That hung in the air.
Jared closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breath in through his nose. Exhaling, he slowly opened them again and tiled his head. "Really."
That loaded word paired with his gaze… She swallowed.
"Yes," she whispered.
"And what do you think?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want to stay away from me?" His gravelly voice was barely above a whisper.
Kim drew in a staggered breath herself, and his eyes dipped down to her mouth again. Despite everything—the way he behaved, the way he acted around her, the way he looked at her—she could only speak the truth. "No."
It felt like there was an anchor in her chest. She could hear herself breathing, but couldn't feel the air enter her lungs as they stood waiting for…something. The intensity of his stare…it was almost too much. She fought the urge to run away.
Jared took another step towards her and pressed a hand against the wall beside her head. He was so tall—how was he so tall? She couldn't see over his shoulder.
His voice dropped lower, his words impossibly soft. "Do you want a real kiss, then?"
Kim froze.
What?
Her heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest. How was it that she was still standing?
But he was looking at her seriously. He's asking to kiss me.
Slowly, she nodded. "Yes."
She felt his hand gently caress her jaw with just the tips of his fingers. They trembled as they ran across her skin.
When she felt his lips on hers, her first thought she was: warm. So warm.
The second was, oh my god, he's kissing me, Jared Cameron is kissing me—
His lips were careful, and much softer than his biting words. He grazed his lips over hers for a few tantalizing seconds before kissing them gently. They were barely touching her, and it made her ache. Despite the desire thumping inside her chest, she was frozen in place. One of his hands curled under her chin to tilt it up slightly and his nose grazed hers as he pecked slowly along her mouth.
Her body burned. He was barely touching her at all, and she was burning.
Her breathing stuttered when he took a single, purposeful step closer, and pressed his body solidly against hers. His warmth surrounded her: his strong chest, his hot hands, his heavy breath. He lips pressed fully on hers now, claiming them for his own.
He was being so…tender. So careful. Kim melted into the kiss. She tilted her head so his mouth slotted against hers, their noses bumping, and she felt her body sink. He had to stoop over to make it easy for her to reach him, and his hand was fully touching her skin, the tremor still present.
His thumb on her chin ran across her cheek, and her skin prickled.
She couldn't believe this was happening. She wondered what would happen if she—
Kim opened her mouth against his. Her knees nearly gave out on her when she heard the smallest moan leave him.
Jared's tongue was liquid fire against hers.
Molten desire flooded inside her.
It was as if the dam exploded, blasted into smithereens.
Her hands, which hung paralyzed beside her, went straight to his hair. She had to stand on the tips of her feet to reach him. She threaded it between her fingers, undoing the loose tie that barely contained his hair. Jared staggered slightly, and Kim's mouth froze, fearing he would pull away entirely. Was that too much for him…?
But he pressed her body against the wall behind her, even closer than before. "Fuck," he grated out against her stopped mouth. "I'm fucked."
Before she could take in her next breath, he looped his arm behind her waist, tugging her into him. She could have sworn that his hand was shaking as it touched the skin on the small of her back, her sweater riding up. The span of his hand covered her skin, the rough calluses digging in.
Feeling brave, Kim slid her tongue in his panting mouth, and he groaned, loudly now, tightening his hold.
Her tongue had to dodge his nipping teeth. He kissed her like he was trying to devour her. All wet lips and slick tongues and sharp teeth. When she bit his bottom lip in return, his whole body shuddered.
She was already sweating.
"H-how are you so warm?" Kim managed to whisper against him when he broke away for air. She could feel him smile in response.
He pulled away, kissing a trail to her ear. She shivered when his teeth grazed her earlobe. "Are you trying to get me out of my clothes, Kim?"
Oh, god… She shivered at the mental image, tightened her grip on his hair. She tried to tug him so he would kiss her again, but he moaned.
"Keep pulling my hair like that," he said, partially in warning and partially as an order. It was easy for her to comply when he kissed her neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses against her skin.
This is what kissing Jared was like? She could feel her legs shaking. All of the gossip in locker rooms and track parties were true then—Jared Cameron knew what he was doing. She felt like she'd never been kissed before.
Jared pulled back and licked his way back into her mouth.
"Is this okay?" he murmured when they broke for air. "Is it…too much? Do you want me to keep kissing you?"
"Don't stop, Jared," she said, breathless, very breathless. Please, don't ever stop kissing me. It will never be enough.
"Fuck," he hissed. "I'm in trouble." A sucking sound came from under her ear, and she cried out. He shivered at the sound.
Jared's hot breath passed over her ear before he pressed a kiss on her kips. She could feel his thigh slide between her legs, and she wished she'd worn something other than jeans so she could feel his warm skin on hers. She whimpered when her panties, slick between her thighs, slid as she rocked her hips. The pull she always felt around him pooled there, between her thighs, and the tightness licked sweet relief at the pressure of his thigh.
Jared's hand tightened behind her back. "Kim…"
He completely caged her in. In the dark room, all she could feel or see was Jared. The heat of his hand on the small of his back. The firm press of his thigh against the apex of her thighs. Then, to feel something hard touch her belly… She couldn't contain her shiver. To be the sole object of his full attention…it was intoxicating, and she felt her resolve begin to slip away completely.
His smile widened and he caressed her jaw with his knuckles.
"I bet Littlesea never kissed you like that."
It felt like cold water splashed on her face.
She blinked, pulling her head back as far as she could to look at him. "Wha—?"
Jared suddenly pushed himself off her just as the bathroom door opened.
"Woah." Maya blinked her bleary eyes as the yellow bathroom light washed over them in the guest bedroom across the hall.
Kim shivered at the loss of his touch, and tugged the hem of her sweatshirt further down. She couldn't bear to look over at Jared and see what he looked like, but she could guess it was similar to the deer-in-headlights look she had on.
Looking like she was half-dead, Maya still cocked her eyebrow at them, a smug smile appearing on her face. "Am I…interrupting something?"
"We—I—" Kim stuttered, feeling her face heating up. If she sweated anymore, she was going to pass out from dehydration.
Jared was completely silent beside her, and she risked a look at him. Instead of freaking out, he was pressing his lips together. Was he…smiling?
No one spoke: Kim fighting her racing heart. Jared fighting a laugh. Maya squinting at them both.
"How are you feeling?" Kim asked softly, stepping to create more distance from Jared.
"Like shit," Maya said. She rubbed her temples. "My head is killing me. That's the last time I get into a chugging contest."
Kim snorted. Doubt that. "Are you ready to go home?"
Maya's eyes flashed at the sound, and wagged her finger. "Don't think I'll forget about this little rendezvous. But yes. Please." She moaned, already staggering toward the stairs. "I can't wait to sleep for 5 years."
Images of her cartwheeling down the stairs made Kim rush to her side. Maya leaned her head on Kim's shoulder, giving her nearly all of her weight. She grunted. "You can walk, right?"
"I wanna be carried like a baby, again," Maya murmured.
Again? Kim looked back at Jared, who clicked off the bathroom light behind them. His nose scrunched and she laughed at the face. She was sure the bathroom didn't smell pretty. "Watch your step, Maya, we're going down the stairs."
The trio slowly made their way down. Kim tried to keep her focus on her friend, and not the slow steps behind them, not her raw lips, not the warmth still in her belly.
When they reached the bottom of the stairs, a few people stared, but most stared at Jared, and even then, a lot of them were too drunk to say anything. Kim's eyes caught Elizabeth's in the crowd, who looked worried.
"Okay?" Elizabeth mouthed.
Kim gave her a thumbs up. "Night," she mouthed back, but she didn't see it because Elizabeth's eyes were on the figure behind them, her jaw open.
Looks like she'd have to explain to several people… The thought snagged and stopped. Would she? What could she even say to explain what they were looking at?
She wasn't sure that she even could explain something that didn't make sense—Jared Cameron, kissing her. And why? Because Charlie did it first? Because Jared wanted some fun at a house party, and she was more than willing to go along with it?
The idea that it was because of something so cheap as teenage hormones made a pit form in her stomach. What would he care that she'd been thinking about kissing him for years?
She was thankful Charlie wasn't there, or Steven, if he was still around.
Walking through the front door, the cold air bit into them. The contrast from the heat of the house to the night air was stark, and it sliced a shiver straight through her. The girls drew themselves to each other to keep warm.
He walked ahead to Maya's car and opened the passenger side door. She smiled briefly at him in thanks, awkwardly averting her eyes from his gaze and helped Maya inside.
"I wanna lay dooown," she whined before scrambling over the armrest. Kim rolled her eyes, not out of annoyance but more so out of affection for her very drunk best friend.
"Let me drive you two home."
They were a few paces up the street, Maya's car parked almost on top of the curb of Charlie's neighbor's house. It was quieter out here, despite Maya's moaning in the backseat.
Kim realized she was staring at him, without saying anything, and shook her head. His hair was still slightly messy, and she remembered how it felt in her hands. "I-it's okay. We're not too far." Lame excuse—it's La Push! Nowhere is "far."
"You drank."
"So did you!" She protested weakly.
He smirked. "I have a high tolerance."
"Right," she snorted, unconvinced.
Jared held out his hand, and Kim wasn't sure if it really was the beer, or the kiss, or what, that made her drop Maya's car keys in his hand. But she did know that it took all of her power not to smile when he grinned at her, winking, before walking to the driver's side.
"I don't give you permission to suck face in my car!" Maya announced from the back as they buckled in.
Jared laughed—actually laughed as she glared at them both. "Noted," he said before pulling away.
Aside from her friend's comment, the car ride was quiet. Kim twisted her fingers nervously in her lap, and looked out the window. The things she wanted to say, she'd rather be buried alive than say them in front of Maya. Questions like, Why did you ask to kiss me? Do you want to kiss me again?
When Jared flexed his hand before resting it back on the steering wheel, she saw it again. The cuts.
"What happened to your hand?" she asked.
He shrugged. "I don't remember. It doesn't hurt."
"It wasn't there earlier."
"Hm," he hummed, noncommittally.
Ugh! He was so…annoying when he did this. She looked over her shoulder and saw Maya passed out, her cheek squished against the seat.
"Did you punch Charlie?" she hissed quietly. But that didn't matter because he snorted loudly, and looked over at her with wide, incredulous eyes.
"No."
"Jacob?"
He snorted again but didn't answer.
"A wall?" She was going to keep going. He must have been able to tell, because he actually answered her.
"I punched Steven McCoy." He tightened his grip. "The asshole deserved it."
"O-oh…" Her heart picked up in her chest. She wondered… No. There was no way he knew about what he said to her in the hallway. He wasn't even there. But she had to ask. "Why…?"
But he looked at her, catching her gaze in his for a long moment. He returned it back to the road in front of him. "You know why."
She blushed fiercely. Had he heard Steven when he called her sloppy seconds? She was mortified at the thought of him telling Jared himself. Was that why he kissed her? Oh, god, she wanted to fling herself out of the car.
She was sure they would have spent the rest of the ride in silence, but they pulled up in front of Maya's house only moments later. Kim helped Maya stumble out, and Jared locked the car doors before handing the keys back to her.
Kim mumbled a thanks as he handed her the keys. "How are you getting home?"
"I like walking." He took a step towards her, but stopped. His gaze stiffed over to Maya, who was watching them. He smiled at Maya, "Have a good night, Maya."
"Yeah, you, too," she mumbled.
He looked back over to Kim again and his eyes said it all. She could almost still feel his mouth on hers when his gaze darkened. He nodded once at her before turning around and walking back down the residential street.
Kim watched him until Maya wiggled out of her arms. "Don't think that just because I'm drunk that you're off the hook," she said, wagging her finger at Kim. Then she flailed her arms dramatically and cried, "Fuuuck, and I'm starving. We should have made him stop at McDonald's."
Kim snorted. "Let's take a shower first, and I can make you some chicken nuggets in the oven."
"Fuck. Yes, please."
A/N: Chapter title inspired by "I Will Possess Your Heart" by Death Cab for Cuties.
Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and messages! Sorry for the delay, you know how it is. Life gets in the way, yada yada.
This fic is going to get pretty spicy here soon! :-) Follow/chat with me on tumblr/twitter icedb1ackcoffee