Chapter 6
There was a sweetness to Jungkook when he walked in the door the next day, a bunch of gorgeous flowers clasped in his hands which he pushed towards me.
"For you," he said, cheeks a little flustered, cute smile on his face.
"They're beautiful. You really didn't need to do that Kook." No-one had ever bought me flowers before, no client, no man I dated and it was so unexpected that it made my heartrate accelerate. I raised them to my face, using the illusion of smelling them to give me a chance to relax. He gave me feelings I didn't know anyone could unlock and today was the last time I'd feel them, probably ever. There was a part of me that felt like I was being set up to fall and it made it hard to live in the moment.
"I wanted to, to say thank you. This has been an amazing time with you."
"Yes, amazing," I echoed because it had been. More than amazing. Nothing about today felt right but the flowers made me feel a little better.
He walked over to the bed, kicking his shoes off and flopping back onto it, putting his hands behind his head like a pillow as he grinned at me. Laying the flowers gently on the table, I followed him perching next to his body, enjoying his relaxed state and smile.
"You seem happy," I commented, curling my legs under me as I looked down at him.
"We get to go home soon and I've been missing, well, people."
There was a stab, a twinge that I willed to go away. He had someone, he'd told me that and I knew that was a good thing for him. Now he might even have some skills to practice with them and I could be pleased that I had played a part in that.
"That's good, I'm happy you're looking forward to going home."
"Don't get me wrong, I'll miss this," he said, reaching for my hand and I just kept smiling at him with a nod, hoping the smile reached my eyes as he rubbed his thumb across my knuckles.
"I will too, it's been fun."
"Fun, yes. Amazing, yes. Incredible, yes!"
His expression was earnest and I laughed. "Yes, all of those things and more."
"But we're not done right?" He chewed his lip a little after asking and I reached out to touch it, running my own finger along it lightly as he closed his eyes.
"No, we won't be done until you're ready to leave tonight. There's still time."
Time to explore, time to connect, time to say goodbye. I swallowed and pushed it all down inside myself.
"Good, I'm not ready for it to be over just yet. Can we take a photo together? We can't post it anywhere but I can remember when I look at it, if that's OK?"
"I'm surprised you'd be allowed."
"Well, it will be a secret just for me but I want to see your face sometimes."
"Sure," I answered, scooting up the bed so we were both leaning back on the headboard. He got his phone out, found the angle he liked and took some selfies of the two of us. It was cute, relaxed, what you could see was tasteful and not obvious about where he was or what we were wearing. Showing it to me, I nodded approval.
"I like them," he said, looking satisfied as he locked his phone and pushed it to the side. "So...," he continued, blushing a little again.
"So," I teased, wondering what he was asking but knowing what he wanted.
"So, what are we going to do tonight?"
"You want to watch a movie and eat popcorn?"
He looked surprised at my answer, nodding his head a little after a long pause.
"I'm teasing, we can do whatever you want, I'm sure there are still things you want to learn."
"I like movies and popcorn, I'd like to do those things with you too."
I knew deep down, the thought of sitting, cuddled together watching a movie and snacking was a fantasy that couldn't happen. He was here for other reasons and those cute moments were for the one he truly wanted to be with. As much as I wanted to fall at his feet and tell him how I was feeling when I was around him, I couldn't.
"I would too Kook. As nice as that sounds, I think our time could be spent differently, so you finish your trip with as much experience as you can get."
"Oh I definitely want to do that too," he replied, grinning and I realise it didn't matter what put that smile on his face, I wanted it to stay there. If the person he was in love with could do that for him, I'd keep my selfish thoughts hidden and let him keep the prettiest of his smiles just for them.
"In that case, I do have some ideas, if you want me to lead you tonight?"
"Everything, I mean everything, we've done together has been amazing so whatever you think."
Nodding, I swung my legs over his hips, coming to settle facing him and he quickly sat up a little, caught off guard as his hands came to my hips to steady me.
"Have you heard of cockwarming," I asked, running my hands down his arms then up to his shoulders and down his chest. His eyes grew large and he shook his head slowly, locking his eyes with mine.
"Slip inside me," I said quietly and his inhale of breath was a gasp that went straight to my core.
"Without, ah, without anything before?" He sounded confused.
"Do you mean foreplay? It's not about that. It can be very sensual between a couple and it can help build stamina." He looked more confused at my choice of words. "There's no moving and it can help teach you to last longer."
"I have no idea how me being inside you can help me last longer," he replied, cheeks going pink. "It feels too good to stay still when I'm inside you, I'm not sure I can do it."
"Well, your body is ready," I answered, feeling him growing harder under me. "But we don't have to try if you don't want to, there are other things we can do."
"Oh, no, no, I want to try," he said quickly and I smiled as I leaned forward to take his lips with mine, the first taste of him that day and I sighed into it, feeling the sensations of familiarity wash over me. He was the only man I'd been with these last few weeks and I didn't think I'd want to go back to anyone else after he was gone.
He lifted his hips a little as I guided his Calvin Kleins and pants down over his thighs, revealing the shaft that was growing more at my touch. Standing above him on the bed, I slid the panties I was wearing down my legs and over my ankles, his eyes following every movement. When his eyes came back level and he realised he was face to face with my hips, his mouth darted forward and I gasped as his tongue made contact with my centre. "Mmmmhmmm, just like I remember," he said tasting me with a smirk and I was instantly wet and more than ready for him to warm inside me.
"You have come a long way Jungkook," I said as I lowered myself onto his covered length, wishing we could do this without the condom but knowing there was no way that could be. The thought of feeling him bare inside me was enough to flood more moisture between my legs and I clenched a little, feeling him twitch in response as I fully seated myself around him. "Now, don't move," I said as I leaned forward again, taking his mouth and beginning a slow, careful dance with our lips and tongues, hands caressing each others skin. He relaxed, allowing me to lead, small noises leaving his mouth every now and again. "Follow my breathing, in and out, in and out," I said as he copied, watching me closely.
"That helps," he said after a few minutes of just looking and softly touching each other, breathing in sync. It was intimate in a different way. "It's so warm and wet and I'm constantly stopping myself from moving inside you but it still feels great."
"Just think, two weeks ago you hadn't done anything like this," I said, moving my hands across his body but keeping my hips still. He sighed into my touch closing his eyes to stay calm.
"And now, I can't imagine not having met you."
His words stilled my hands as he opened his eyes and they locked with mine. For a moment, time seemed to stop as we just stared at each other, breathing deeply without moving before his hands moved to my backside, gripping the cheeks to press us as tightly against each other as we could go, exhaling against my neck as he moved his face to rest on my shoulder.
"You are more Kook. More than I could have thought when you walked in that door. You were so shy but now, you are making me feel like no-one ever has," I whispered and I felt his smile as his lips rested against me.
"I didn't know it could feel this good. To just be inside you. I mean I want to move but this feels different too. I feel like we're taking the time to just feel it all."
I was struggling to stay still now too, his words making me want to make him feel even better than he did right now.
"Do you want to move," I asked softly and he pulled his face back so he was looking at me again. He kissed each cheek, then my nose, sweetly and gently before he spoke, stripping away the sweetness and turning the air instantly electric.
"I want to feel you come around me," and I clenched, feeling his length swell even more inside me as I raised up a little, sinking slowly down. He lowered his head to my chest, kissing across the tips of my nipples as they perked for his mouth before he allowed his hips to move in a dip thrust, meeting my movements.
"Yes, just like that," I gasped and he increased his speed leaning back to change the angle of his hips, hitting even deeper.
"Can I, can we," he tried to gasp out and I knew he was already close, the intimacy of being inside me for so long catching up with him.
"Tell me what you want Kook," I said, close myself but wanting him to do everything he needed in our last night together.
"Can I go behind you again," and I lifted myself off him as he moved, turning onto my knees and reaching for the headboard as his hand came around my stomach, sending flames across my skin at how gently he touched me as he entered me again. I gripped the headboard hard and my head dropped, unable to stop it from moving on it's own as the sensations of him slamming into me caused an eruption inside.
"I'm coming Jungkook, oh, oh ..." and the words ceased as my head fell back, a groan that sounded primal leaving my mouth as I came so hard that my legs shook, hands slipping from the headboard as I fell forward onto the pillow. He came moments after, moan after moan sliding between his teeth as he pressed himself into me. He resting his face against my back as the sensations faded away, breathing heavily but making sure his weight wasn't too much for me to support, keeping most of the weight on his own weary arms.
Reaching down to hold the condom as he slipped out, he tied it off, pulling me in as I collapsed onto my back, gathering my breath again. Resting against his chest, I breathed in his scent, the musky, earthy smell that was him and whatever cologne he wore. Whenever I smelled anything like that, I knew I'd be transported back to these moments of peace in the room with him.
"Every time," he said, panting a little still.
"Every time?"
"Is good," he finished.
"Good," I asked, sounding scandalised but just teasing.
"Oh, I mean, amazing, you have to know it's amazing. Well, at least it is for me."
"For me too Kook. I know you probably think that because of who I am, that I have lots to compare it to. Let me just say, nothing compares, for anything I've ever encountered and whether you believe me or not, I'm not just saying that."
"I believe you," he said quietly. "You get a fire in your eyes and I can tell you feel strongly about it."
"I just don't want you to think I'm lying. Or that this isn't real."
"I have wondered. Because of...," and his voice faded away.
"Because of who I am?"
"No, not because of who you are. Who you are is wonderful," he said forcefully. "I guess I mean because of how we met."
What a tactful way of saying because of my job, he was actually incredibly sweet and emotionally mature for his age. "I definitely have more experience than you but quantity isn't the same as quality and you are the best of the best."
He blushed at the compliment and I knew from reading up on him, which I'd been doing a lot on my days off, he always wanted to be the best. This seemed to stroke his ego a little as his shoulders came back and his chest puffed up a little. I thought it was cute. "Well, I'm glad, I've learned it all from you."
"The way you have learned to move in your work has helped. It's just horizontal instead of vertical," I laughed. He frowned, maybe not understanding the terms. "I mean what you do dancing, works lying down too."
"Oooohhhh, I guess it is the same in some ways." He looked thoughtful as he traced patterns against my arm and I wondered if he realised he was doing that as his mind was preoccupied. I began to trace him too, enjoying the feel of him under my hand.
"Do you have any other questions, while you have me here," I asked, running my finger across the ridges of his abdomen. He flinched a little under my touch, not from nerves like he had the first time we'd met but I think from what he knew it could lead to but he quickly relaxed.
"I do have one question," and he looked shy.
"I've always said, ask me anything."
"Can I stay?"
I looked at him trying to work out what he meant. The night? In USA? Forever? "Do you mean stay in this room," I asked, going for the easiest one to answer.
"Yes, I just want to fall asleep the whole night and wake up with you."
The sweetest feeling flowed through my body at his words and I wished he could. "Jungkook," I whispered, regret in my tone and he knew.
"It's OK, I knew it would be no but I wanted to say it anyway." He pulled me a little closer as I rested against him.
"I can set an alarm in case we fall asleep so we have a little longer together but we can't stay the whole night. They wouldn't let you anyway would they?"
"Probably not, it's already a stretch to come see you this many times. The members are making up things to tell staff."
"Don't they track your phone?"
"Yeah," he said softly. "I guess they're letting me get away with it."
"You're an adult, you should be allowed to do what you want when you're not working."
"It doesn't work that way when you're an idol. And I'm always working."
I sat up on my elbows, looking at him. He was beautiful, lived what could be seen as a charmed life but he wasn't free and I knew he couldn't always be happy.
"We can talk and if we fall asleep, I'll wake us before you get in trouble."
"I'd like that."
Reaching for my phone I set an alarm for 3 hours from now, well past the time I was booked but not long enough to do everything I wanted to do with him. As we lay together, he traced across my back.
"Ella, your name is so close to Bella. When I was in Italy, I read that it means beautiful. That makes sense for you. You're Ella Bella."
I gasped as he said it, my skin prickling as I remembered. The nickname my father always called me, before things got difficult with my parents, before I was no longer the person they would remember if I turned up on their doorstep.
"Are you OK," he asked, pushing the hair back from my face, noticing my reaction.
"Yes," I said softly, composing myself. "It just reminded me that someone I loved, someone I still do love calls me that."
"Would you rather I didn't then? I don't want to upset you?" He was looking at me with large, concerned eyes, taking in every expression on my face.
"It's OK. I like hearing it again," I replied, leaning in close so he couldn't see my face, trying to push away the memories that flitted across my mind at the thought of my parents. I knew I missed them, it was just too hard to go back.
"I could just call you Bella instead? It suits you."
"If you'd like," I answered softly, thinking he was leaving me with more moments to remember that I had never seen coming a few weeks ago.
"Yes, I'd like that. Bella? I'd like to fall asleep in your arms now and when we wake, well, can we have a final goodbye?" He did look a little tired, his eyes drooping and I imagined his weeks had been non stop since he got here.
I swallowed at his words. "Yes Jungkook, I'd like that too." The final good bye was looming and as we lay down close together, arms and legs wrapped around each other, I knew I wasn't ready.