Chapter 6: Wascawwy:
Jackie's POV:
We have arrived on Easter Island and are looking for the next talisman.
"Five bucks says it's going to be the Rabbit Talisman," says Jade.
"Why would you assume that," I asked.
"Hello? Easter? Rabbit? Like the Easter Bunny?"
"Yeah, I doubt whoever hid the Talismans had that in mind," says Tommy.
We searched the area.
"I think I found it," Dil says, "it's in the eye of this Easter Island head. I also think there's a squid in there."
"Howdy Chan," says Montana as he, Fancy Dan, and Ox show up.
"Great, these guys," I said, "kids, take the talisman and run."
Phil grabs the talisman and starts running. I was fighting the enforcers. What none of us realized was how fast Phil was moving. He ran like a supersonic bullet.
"Woah," says Jade.
Phil's POV:
As I was running, I stopped running when I realized how fast I was going.
"Woah, how'd I..." It was the Talisman. It gave me superspeed. I decided to use this. I ran back to the fight.
Jackie's POV:
I was still fighting the enforcers. Then Phil came at lightning speed and sent them away, also knocking the Easter Island head into the water.
"Maybe the squid will find a nice neighborhood," says Jade.
Squid's POV:
My home is sinking into a town called 'Bikini Bottom.' And there I basically moved into a neighborhood with an annoying sponge and the world's dumbest starfish. I realize that I'm basically doomed.
Jackie's POV:
"Phil, how..." I started.
"This talisman comes with superspeed," says Phil.
Jade then looks at it. "Called it, Rabbit Talisman."
"Let's go," I said.
"Race ya." Phil then runs off.
"I have a bad feeling about this," I said.
Shen Du's POV:
"You imbeccccilessss have failed," I ssssaid.
"'taint our fuh-ault," ssssayssss Montana, "it's that kid with thuh talisman..."
"SSSSo, thissss talissssman hassss my sssspeed then."
"I don't see how that's gonna be of much use for you," ssssayssss Ox.
"Ox is right..." ssssayssss Nichang, "for once, you are a statue and lack your legs..."
"SSSSILENCCCCE! I musssst have all twelve talissssmanssss. Undersssstand?"
"Allow me to get it," ssssayssss Nichang, "I have never failed you before... except for that thing with the Monkey Talisman..."
"You have alsssso forgotten about that one inccccident with Mulan."
"That wasn't my fault. The little dragon..."
"Almosssst ruined Mulan'ssss marriage on hissss own without your interferencccce."
"I was being sarcastic when I compared him to the Golden Dragon of Unity. How was I supposed to know he'd actually pretend to be so? Stupid cricket gave him the idea to use the statue."
"Oh, but then again, your job wassssn't to ruin Mulan'ssss marriage, it wassss to make ssssure the princcccessssssessss wouldn't marry the princcccessss sssso SSSSisssster Bai could drink their tearssss and grow sssstronger sssso that she could conquer more underwater kingdomssss and impressssss Arimaniussss, which, of coursssse, I know that the Arimaniussss part will never happen. But that sssstill failed."
"Even you could not expect them to fall in love with the three idiots."
"Should we ask the whole story," ssssayssss Ox.
"Nope," ssssayssss Montana.
"Yes, I have failed before," ssssayssss Nichang, "but I think I can succeed in this one."
"Very well, get me the talissssman. Remember, even you, my dear Lian Nichang, are not above my wrath."
"What done 'e do whe-yn ya failed at that Mulan thang," asssskssss Montana.
"He shaved my head."
"That's it?"
"He had big claws back then."
Phil's POV:
I was supposed to take the Rabbit Talisman to Section 13, but instead I decided to have some fun with it. First, I see Savannah Shane standing next to Jeffrey. I ran past them, and Savannah looks and sees she's holding Jeffrey's hand. She then screams and runs away, and Jeffrey's just confused.
"Call me," Jeffrey says, "I guess."
. . .
Next, I see Vice Principal Pangborn. It's still summer, so I don't have to worry about detention. I ran past him.
"Mr. Pangborn," says Mr. Beaker, "is that your summer look?"
I replaced Pangborn's clothes with a diaper and a bonnet.
"What? Whoever did this is going to have their bones and organs swap places!"
Pangborn then runs, trying to avoid anyone seeing him.
"Is he going to rearrange someone's biology... again," asks Miss O'Keats.
"Afraid so," says Mr. Beaker.
. . .
I saw Diane DeLongis and Leslie Myers. I ran past them and drew mustaches on their faces.
The two then looked at each other. "What's on your face?" They both screamed.
I love this talisman.
Nichang's POV:
How was I supposed to know those three princesses were destined to be with those idiots? One of them looked like a gorilla. I mean, talk about poor taste. I'd be a better suitor, and I'm a woman, and I'm pretty sure those princesses were into men. Anyway, I saw a blur. It was someone using the Rabbit Talisman. I needed a way to catch him, but then I had an idea. I stuck out my leg and tripped the fool.
"Hey, what the..."
"I will be taking this." I grabbed the talisman and used its power of speed to leave.
"Like Jackie would say, bad day."
. . .
I presented the Talisman to Lord Shen Du.
"You've done well," says Lord Shen Du, "now give it to me."
"Not quite yet," I said.
"Explain," says Lord Shend Du.
"Master, with this, we now have a way to get the Monkey Talisman and the Rat Talisman. If we let Hammerhead use it, the Rabbit Talisman's speed plus Hammerhead's... hammerhead equals..."
"Awne big ram," says Hammerhead.
"One that will break through Section Thirteen," says Lord Shen Du.
The three of us then laughed.
"Did I miss something," asks Ox.
Montana and Fancy Dan shrug, but then the Enforcers laugh with us.
Jackie's POV:
Phil told us everything.
"Phil, the Talismans are not toys," I said.
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Sorry," asks Uncle, "now Big Man, whoever he is, has power of speed!"
A strange breeze then went past us.
"Did anyone else feel a draft," I asked.
"Uh... guys," says Tommy.
We all looked at his camera and saw Hammerhead moving fast.
"Is that..." asks Jade.
"The man with the hardest head," I said.
"With superspeed," says Phil.
"He's probably heading for Section 13," says Chuckie.
"We have to stop him," I said.
"Uncle could prepare a chi spell that could stop Hammerhead, and because this is Phil's fault, Phil will help."
. . .
I was standing in front of Section 13 waiting for Hammerhead. I don't know how I managed to beat him to it, but I saw him coming.
"Hurry Uncle," I said.
Hammerhead was on his way, but then a green glow came around him.
"Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao," Uncle started saying, "Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao, Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao!"
Hammerhead was now moving slowly, allowing Phil to grab the talisman.
"Uncle has reversed power of Rabbit Talisman. Now he moves slowly."
"Until da kid took da talisman from me," says Hammerhead, "now I'm gunnah ta..."
The Shadowkhan came and dragged him through the ground.
"WAIT..."
. . .
"I hope you learned your lesson," I said.
"I know, don't mess with the power of a talisman. Good thing it's all behind us now!"
Mr. Pangborn, Savannah Shane, Diane DeLongis, and Leslie Myers were all waiting outside the antique shop.
"I kind of tattled on you," says Jade.
"Great."
Lil came in.
"Guys, I did research on that White-Haired Lady in Black and, apparently, she's the Lian Nichang from the Wuxia Novel that Uncle likes to read sometimes."
"Uncle just likes the historical characters."
"She's apparently been betrayed by her boyfriend, and her hair somehow turns white because of that betrayal."
"When did this novel take place," I ask.
"Near the end of the Ming Dynasty."
"HOW OLD IS SHE?!" Almost all of us shouted in surprise and shock.
Shen Du's POV:
"You had the Talissssman and you losssst it," I ssssaid.
"So, ya goin' ta shave his head," asssskssss Montana.
"I have a better idea. You ssssee, I jusssst bought a building and I'll need a wrecking ball."
SSSSome of my Shadowkhan grab Hammerhead and take him away.
"Thissss is far from over, Mr. Chan."
Lian Nichang is Bisexual in All Grown Up Adventures. In the next chapter, Kimi awakens the ghost of Pinky the Pirate.