The moment we've all been waiting for.

Hitting post in the depths of Tartarus and hoping my signal is strong enough to reach all y'all out there.

Thanks to Morgan for beta reading.

We drove for another two hours in silence. My face stopped stinging after a little while. James turned the heater on, for which I was absurdly grateful. It was well past my bedtime and the warmth made it easy to feel drowsy.

I was with Edward, back in the meadow. He was smiling down at me. I wanted to stay in that moment forever.

James growled. I woke up.

"It's almost out of gas. I hate these things. I can go just as fast, just as far, and I eat far less often."

"But… it masks our scent," Victoria said timidly. "And this way neither of us has to carry her. After—"

James snarled. "I know that."

She shrank back. James reached a hand over and she flinched, but he stroked her shoulder gently. "You're right, my love, as always. I'm sure there'll be a gas station ahead soon."

Victoria tilted her head to the side to rest it against his arm. He tolerated it for a minute, then pulled away. She stifled a soft sound of protest.

We were only ten minutes from a gas station. It was one of those large, trucker-oriented places. Half a dozen semis were parked in the back lot. I saw a sign advertising showers.

"Can I use the bathroom?" I asked. I didn't particularly need to, but I hoped that I might find something. Anything. A weapon. A way to call home. To leave a note. To… say goodbye, at least.

James met my eyes in the mirror. "What's the magic word?" It was almost a sing-song.

I bit my tongue. "May I please use the restroom?"

He smiled at me. "Of course, darling. Get yourself a snack or something. Victoria, keep her company."

Victoria sniffed disdainfully, but she got out of the car with us when we pulled up to the pump.

James grabbed my chin as I turned to go. "Remember," he purred. "Best behavior. Don't disappoint me, sweetheart." He patted my cheek and then released me. The memory of his slaps was still very fresh in my mind.

"Why do you stay with him?" I asked Victoria quietly as we walked toward the door. "You… don't seem very happy."

She snarled at me. "I love him. And he loves me."

I shrugged. "Okay. If you say so."

"You think you're special? You'll win his affection and he'll keep you around?" she spat. "I'm the special one. He'll get tired of you. He always does."

I had no intention of being kept around. "I'm sure."

I expected Victoria to come into the bathroom with me, but she stopped outside the door.

"It already smells unbearable," she hissed. "I hate humans. I don't want to be around you."

"Suit yourself." I went in alone.

I didn't have to use the bathroom, but I took the opportunity to wash my face and hands. It was a relief to get the dirt off. As I dried them, a flyer informed me that if I was being trafficked, there was a hotline I could call.

Too bad there isn't a hotline for vampire abduction.

Next to it, someone had left a mini bottle of bug spray. That looks like the same kind they carry at work, I thought. Something made me pick it up and turn it over to study the back. It advertised that it would "Kill bugs on contact!" above a long list of ingredients. At the bottom: "Warning: Flammable. Do not use near fire or flame or while smoking."

The thought that had been brewing in the back of my mind bloomed. If you surprised a vampire with fire…

This is a gas station. There are fumes in the air. There's gas in the pumps. What if?...

My hands were shaking. I took the lid off the bug spray and hid the bottle under my arm, praying that Victoria wouldn't notice that I was moving awkwardly.

She was still outside when I emerged. "Finally."

"Is it okay if I get a snack?" I tried to sound humble. "James said…"

Victoria's lips curled. "Disgusting. Fine. Just don't make me smell it."

I wandered through the aisles, trying to look like I cared. Really there was only one thing in the store that I was interested in. I finally grabbed two or three things at random and brought them up to the counter.

"And a lighter, please." I smiled, hoping the cashier wouldn't decide to check my ID.

The cashier, a bored-looking young man, made no such request. He grabbed a lighter at random and added it to the stack. I barely heard him tell me the total. I just handed him my debit card.

I dared to sneak a peek over at Victoria as the cashier handed it back with a receipt and a bag. She wasn't even looking at me—her anxious eyes were fixed on the gas pumps. For a second, my gaze settled on the payphone in the back of the store—but no. That was impossible.

I'm sorry, mom and dad… Jessica… Angela… Jacob… everyone. I wish I could at least say goodbye.

My eyes flicked to the camera behind the counter. Maybe, somehow, the footage would wind up in Charlie's hands. Maybe he would see me one last time. I stared into the camera for a long minute, willing it to happen. Then I turned away.

When I was younger, I had gotten my wisdom teeth out. I had begged Renee to let me be put to sleep for the surgery. She agreed. I remembered them hooking me up to a big heart monitor. I had made a game out of seeing how low I could get the numbers to go.

I tried to do that now. I steadied my breathing and focused on being calm as we exited the store. I didn't want Victoria to hear my racing heartbeat and realize that something was wrong.

James was lounging against the car. The nozzle was still in the gas tank. I let out a little sigh of relief.

My snacks were in a bag, but I had hidden the lighter in my sleeve. I crossed my arms as we walked across the lot. I could feel the can under my fingers. I prayed that James would think I was just cold. That he couldn't smell the spray, even through the can, even over the smell of the gas.

He held out a demanding hand to me as we approached and I obliged. He was between me and the open gas tank, but I could still get a clear shot. I need to be close, I thought. There won't be a second chance.

I didn't know what would happen if this failed. Probably a painful death. Maybe James would decide that murder attempts were cute and continue grooming me. I really don't want to find out.

I breathed.

"There are my good girls," he crooned. "What do you say when I'm nice?"

I relaxed my jaw enough to say "Thank you."

He tsked. "I don't know if I believe that. Try again."

Now or never. I took a deep breath. My hands were sweaty, but an overwhelming sense of calm engulfed me. I hope death by explosion doesn't hurt too much.

I met his eyes squarely and smiled. A real smile. "Thank you."

"That's more like it," he purred, satisfaction creeping over his face. "You learn so quickly."

I uncrossed my arms. As my hands came together, I pressed both triggers. "Yes."

Tschk.

Fwoosh.

Some things happened very slowly.

A cone of flame rolled forward. James' eyes went wide and he tripped backward over the gas line. The nozzle jerked free of the tank. Drops of flaming gasoline arced through the air.

Victoria cleared the car in a single bound, throwing herself at James. They both tumbled away.

The gas tank exploded. White-hot flame billowed out, engulfing both of them. Someone screamed. It might have been me.

Some things happened very quickly. Fire. Heat. Explosion. I was flying backward. I hit the ground. For an instant, everything went very fuzzy.

I'm alive. It felt like a surprise. My clothes were singed, but the ground was wet. I rolled slowly to my stomach.

Something behind me exploded again.

I need to get further away.

I couldn't make my legs work. I felt numb all over.

I need to MOVE.

I tried dragging myself on my forearms. That worked. I could inch my way further toward the edge of the lot.

Something grabbed me from behind. I screamed. Nothing happened. I tried again. My mouth was open, but I couldn't hear anything. My ears were ringing.

It felt like I was a ragdoll. I was being shaken, then thrown down again. I landed sprawled on my back. My vision cleared.

James.

He was furious. I couldn't hear what he was shouting at me, but I was sure it wasn't good.

He's not dead.

But he was hurt. Hair was singed from his head. His clothes were tattered. The side of his body was blackened. Crumbling. His bright gold eyes burned in a soot-covered face.

It should have been a horrifying sight, but I was past feeling anything.

I'm sorry. I tried.

James slammed a fist into my leg. Pain shot through my body. It hurt more than anything I had ever felt. I screamed again. He slapped me, hard enough that I saw stars, and shouted something at me. He was so close that I could feel his breath.

The inside of my mouth tasted like blood. I spat at him.

Something about his face changed. His eyes went wild. He seized me by the throat and leaned down. I could feel the growl in his chest, even if I couldn't hear it.

He bit me.

Everything disappeared. This was the most painful thing I had ever felt. Liquid fire poured into my neck. It felt like I was trapped in the explosion, floating in a sea of agony. My nerves were screaming. I was screaming. I stopped being Bella. I was only pain.

Dimly, I felt James pulling away. Being pulled away? It didn't matter. The pain didn't lessen.

When will I be dead?

Someone was shouting. No, several people. I could hear them now. I could hear myself screaming. If I opened my eyes, I could see—legs. James was on his knees, an arm twisted behind his back. His head was on the ground. Jasper Cullen had just sheared it completely off his shoulders.

No, that didn't make any sense. I was hallucinating. There was nothing but pain.

"… arterial blood loss…" someone was saying. "She'll bleed out too fast if I don't…"

Cool hands touched my face. Turned it up. I opened my eyes again. I hadn't realized that they were closed.

It was Edward.

If I'm dead, why didn't the pain stop? But if Edward was here, then I was dead. There was no other explanation.

"... never tried it before," one of the voices said. "It might work, but…"

It was hard to move my mouth. I could only unclench my jaw if I was screaming. I wanted to say so many things to him. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry. I tried. I miss you. I love you. Thank you for being here. For being in my life. I'm glad I met you. Even if it led to this. Even if this is how it ends. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I was pain and love. Maybe they were the same thing. Maybe they always had been. Maybe I always had been.

What came out instead was "Please. Please make it stop."

He stroked my cheek. I wanted to turn into it. His touch almost parted the pain for a moment. "Oh, Bella," he said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

The world was going dark around the edges. I tried again. "I love you. I'm sorry. I don't want to—" leave. I don't want to leave you again.

My mouth betrayed me. I was screaming.

Edward wailed. I had never heard anyone sound like that before. Desperate. Anguished. My heart broke.

My head tipped to the side. I felt his mouth against my throat. It was cool against the fire of my skin.

I love you.

The pain started to ease. I could feel my leg again—a different kind of pain. I became aware of Edward's body pressed against mine. He cradled my jaw in one hand, so gently. His other hand was braced against the parking lot so hard I could hear the asphalt crumbling beneath his fingers.

I could feel how tense he was. Every muscle was straining. But his touch on my face was still so soft.

He moaned against my neck. It was an electrifying sound. I was on fire again, but a different kind of fire. The sound made me shudder.

The pain was gone, but the darkness was still spreading from the corners of my vision.

The world was getting dimmer. I started to feel cold.

Someone shouted. They sounded urgent.

Edward was trembling.

Carlisle was speaking in a low, calm voice. I couldn't hear what he was saying.

Edward moaned again. Or maybe it was a wail. I wanted to hold him.

And then he was gone. He had thrown himself backward. His eyes were brighter than I had ever seen them before. He wiped blood from his mouth. He looked—wild. Like James.

But he was still my Edward. I tried to reach for him, but I couldn't make my arms move.

Then he was beside me again. He brushed the hair out of my face tenderly. "Never, Bella. Never." It was a promise.

I closed my eyes. The world vanished.