"So Abigail, what made you so mad earlier?" Sensing your mood slowly returning to that of a regular human being, I decide to prod a bit.
"Oh. I wanted to get a lip piercing, but mom said no. Ugh, let's not talk about it. Hey, you met my friends Seb or Sam yet?"
We chat as we walk out of town and hike up the mountains. After about half an hour, we reach a large clearing about a third of the way to the mountain peak. It is a beautiful part of Stardew Valley. The bare, rocky face of the mountain to the north sharply contrasts with the gentle slope we stand on, rich with pine trees, lush green grass, and colorful wildflowers. A large lake lies to the east, its calm waters glimmering in the morning sun, several islets protruding through the glassy surface.
The water of the lake flows from a small tributary originating from a small cave in the mountain face. A small plank bridge stretches over the tributary and leads to our destination – a much larger cavern east of the small cave, and the entrance to the mines. The cavern is about the size of a family home. The walls and ground consist of reddish brown, rough-hewn rock. Only two things stand out: A mine elevator which doesn't seem to function, and a vertical mineshaft with a ladder, leading straight down into a dark hole where the mines begin.
"Ladies first!" You enthusiastically push past me and put your foot on the rung of the ladder.
"Abigail!" I sigh exasperatedly.
"What?" You ask impatiently.
"At least take my sword if you're gonna charge in headfirst." I am sure telling you to slow down would fall on deaf ears, so I hand you my sword instead.
"Oh… thanks." You take my sword somewhat begrudgingly, and clamber down the ladder ungracefully, the added weight of the sword and one less free hand making it more difficult.
"Hey, if you see a slime… they lunge at you harder than you think, and it hurts!" I quickly try to warn you as I follow you down the mineshaft.
"They're slimes! Aren't slimes like… jelly? Do you have no pain tolerance or were you just too slow to dodge, Farmer?" I can't see anything in the dark mineshaft, but I can I feel the smirk on your face. I roll my eyes.
After about half a minute of climbing down, our feet touch solid ground again. The mine looks like the cavern above both in color and size. The only difference is that the mine floor was much more uneven compared to the cavern. Large boulders, small stones, and what looks like some rockslides litter the ground.
"That's it?" You seem unimpressed by the size of the mine, as we could easily see the whole area.
Squelch. Squelch. Squelch.
"Not quite. Hear that, Abigail? That's a slime."
Our heads turn to face the source of the noise. Sure enough, there it is. An amorphous, translucent, lime-green blob the size of a large dog, the slime lacks any distinctive features except a disembodied pair of eyes that floats on the side of the slime's body.
"Haha! That's more like it!"
You charge out with my sword raised. The slime's eyes begin eerily floating through its body and onto the side that faces you, but before it manages to 'look' at you, you are already in its 'face'. You put all your weight behind your strike, the sword carving right through the slime, leaving a large slash. The slime is knocked back slightly and bounces into the wall behind it. The slash mark starts congealing back up, but you're relentless – a flounder of attacks give the slime no chance to fight back, as multiple gashes and holes appear in the slime, until "SPLAT!" The slime explodes, spraying chunks of its body everywhere. Of course, you get covered from head to toe.
"Wooo! Ugh! Pff! Pfffff!" You're caught between celebrating and spitting slime out of your mouth.
"Wow, that was… pretty impressive," I concede. "But your swings were so wild you were barely keeping your own balance. What if something happened and you needed to defend yourself?"
"Hahaha! You're just jealous you got hit before and I didn't, aren't you?" You laugh while picking chunks of slime out of your hair, which looks really funky from the mixing of green with purple.
"Besides, I bet I can defend myself perfectly. Watch." You point towards another slime that you just spotted and saunter up to it confidently. This slime was slightly larger than the last, but otherwise seems to behave identically: as you get close, its eyes float in your direction.
"Be careful! I'm telling you, don't get too close!" I want to stop you, but I also don't want to get close and take collateral damage.
"I'll show you how to defend against jelly, Farmer". Your voice drips with mockery with the word 'jelly'.
I find myself rooting for the slime for a second.
The slime freezes and shrinks in size ever so slightly. This is it, you're about to learn the hard way… With surprising speed, the slime springs towards you, accompanied by a wet sounding 'bwoip'. And because I've been on the receiving end once, I know that the slime hardens its exterior. The moment it makes contact, it definitely does not feel like jelly.
Your eyes widen in surprise; you dig in your heels and you put your sword in front of you just in time to block, but it's nowhere near enough. The slime hits you hard on the left side. Maybe because the slime is bigger, or because you're lighter than me, but you are sent flying through the air comically, much further than I did last time. You land several meters away, thankfully tumbling into a roll and avoiding any rocks. My sword flings out of your hand and clatters to the ground. I quickly and wordlessly pick it up, prioritizing the danger first. I manage to keep my cool, but mostly because I was already expecting this to happen.
Racing up to the slime, I put myself at an angle so that when the slime attacks again, you won't be in its line of attack when I dodge. The slime predictably freezes before its lunge, giving me time to prepare by bending my knees slightly. I jump out of the way of the slime's attack, quickly turn to face the slime, and begin my own steady flurry of attacks on the slime. Observing the gashes on the slime carefully, I manage to estimate when the slime is about to die and jump backwards to avoid most of the slime explosion.
I hurry back to you. You've propped yourself up and are now sitting on ground, nursing your left shoulder with your right hand, wincing. Tears well up in your eyes but you fight gravity with your sheer stubbornness, stopping the tears from flowing. My mouth pulls into a sideways grimace, painting 'I told you so' over my face.
"Shut up. I'm fine."
"Nope. We're going back. To the clinic. Come on." I offer you my hand, and you gratefully take it and pull yourself up. You look pretty badly beaten up, your sleeveless arms hiding none of your injuries. Your left shoulder sports a massive bruise, which is competing with your hair for the title of 'most purple'. There are tiny scratches all over your arms from rolling on the rocky ground.
"Can you climb?" I decide to skip the 'are you okay' phase of the conversation, which is the verbal equivalent of trying to pet a porcupine.
"Yeah… I'll be alright." You gingerly climb back up the ladder, with me following closely behind. We walk in silence out the darkness of cavern, into the sun, and back down the mountain, you staring at your feet awkwardly and me feeling a mix of annoyance at your recklessness and relief that you're not hurt badly.
"Thanks." You abruptly blurt out, as we approach the foot of the mountain.
"For what?" said my annoyance.
"For…! For nothing!" You pout madly.
"Oh, you ungrateful little…" I flick your bruise lightly.
"AHH!" You recoil in pain, but a playful smile creeps onto your face.
I can't help but grin too. We walk back into town, a new spring in our steps, and a new friend by our sides.