Here is Part IV! I hope it provides a satisfying ending to this story that all started one evening on the couch at my family cottage almost two years ago. I'm blessed to have it read and (hopefully) enjoyed :) Happy reading!

Quotes from the intro are from google search dictionary, The Chicks song "Without You" and LeAnn Rimes song "I Need You."

"Gone?" Emily repeated, staring at Barney. "Gone where?!" How could he be gone? She felt panic. She needed him. She needed his strength, his understanding. She needed his love. Her body was physically aching from the torment Fred had done to her, and Lee was the only one who knew how to help her heal from it. He was the only one who truly knew her.

"No idea," Barney replied, handing her the piece of paper he'd been holding. "He doesn't say." She looked down at it, recognizing his handwriting.

Barns, I left the door unlocked so you wouldn't bust it open. Lock it when you leave, eh? I just need to get away and clear my head. Don't look for me; I'll return when I'm ready. L

"I don't understand," Emily said, looking back up at him. "Why would he leave?"

"He said why." Barney gestured to the note. She resisted growling at him.

"I see that, but why? I thought..." she trailed off. Back at the hospital, he'd been fine with her, or so she thought. Maybe he'd been pretending. Or maybe...

No. Could he have? She thought hard. No. That wasn't it. It couldn't be.

I need time, his voice said in her head.

Apparently, that meant him taking off and not telling anyone where he was going. She felt a bit of despair inside, wondering how to tell Maya this. How could he do that to her? She understood him avoiding her, but Maya? That was unfair.

"Well," Barney said, "I guess we wait. Lock up when you leave." He moved to leave, and she was left standing there and wondering what to even do with herself in that moment.

...

Maya looked up from her book when her mother approached her. She was with Tia and Caesar again, and she was more than ready to go home. It wasn't like she didn't want to be around them. She just was ready to be back in her own space.

"What's wrong?" she asked, frowning at her mother's worried look.

"Lee," she started. "He...he's gone away for a bit."

"What do you mean? Where?!" Maya panicked. She couldn't lose him. She needed him.

"I'm not sure, but he said he just needs some time to think about things."

Maya felt herself relax slowly. "Oh. Okay. So he's coming back?"

"I think so." Her mother didn't sound sure, though, and Maya worried again. Had she driven him away? Maybe he was mad at her after all for keeping her mother's secret.

"Can we go home?"

"When you say home, what are you referring to?" her mother asked.

"Not New York," Maya replied. "Home. Dad's house. I have a key."

"Okay," her mother agreed. Maya fretted that she was going to be made to leave, and she didn't want that. Her mother went to talk to Tia next, and Maya grabbed her bag and waited at the door after saying goodbye to Louis and Caesar. When they left, she took her mother's hand and never wanted her to let go.

...

Barney sighed heavily as he pushed his fingers through his hair, his hands holding up his head. Tool poured him a drink.

"He left, eh."

"Yea."

"Any ideas?"

"One."

"Well, maybe the time away will clear his head. He's gone through an awful lot," Tool reasoned when Barney didn't elaborate.

"I know."

Barney sipped his drink and hoped that wherever Lee was, he was getting the answers he needed in order to come back.

...

Toll watched Cheryl cook and hum to herself, her fingers nimble and quick with the cutlery. He admired that about her. She teased him when he flailed about uselessly in the kitchen, but what he did come up with, she always groaned appreciatively over.

As he tapped his phone with a finger, having read Serena's last text message to him for the millionth time, he had a thought, and it was a crazy thought, but one he couldn't seem to shake. He looked at Cheryl and wondered what she would think about it.

He hadn't told a soul about the text. He hadn't known what to even think about it at the time, but now, now it made sense. He looked down at it again.

Find her. Give her a good home. Ple—

Obviously she'd gotten interrupted and hit send without finishing it. Toll hadn't known who she was talking about, but he did now.

"You're awfully quiet," Cheryl commented without looking at him. "You okay?" After he didn't respond, she did look at him, and he saw she was concerned. She knew who he was; he couldn't hide that from her, but he'd retired and was going to team up with Caesar and Lee catching bail jumpers. He was done with putting his life at risk so much.

"I don't know," he finally answered. She set down her knife and fork and came over to him slowly.

"What's on your mind?"

He didn't want to hurt her feelings. He didn't want her to think he was stuck on Serena, but he just couldn't let this go.

"Serena," he confessed, and a slight shift happened on Cheryl's face, but she maintained her empathetic stance.

"Okay," she said slowly. "Anything in particular?"

"I just found out she has a daughter."

"Oh." Cheryl was shocked. She waited for him to continue, though.

"Iwannaadopther," Toll blurted all at once.

"Sorry, say again?" Cheryl said.

"I want to adopt her," Toll repeated more slowly. "Her dad was Fred, and he's gone now, and Serena's gone, and I just can't stop thinking about this 12 year old girl who's an orphan and stuck in the system. I feel like she should be with me, with us. Emily was Serena's best friend, and she could help out and have Maya be her friend, you know? I'm sorry, I just want to do something for Serena after she died trying to stop Fred. And...and she asked me to." He stopped talking, feeling like an idiot now. He held up his phone to show her the text, and Cheryl came closer to him to read it. He felt scared for a second that she was going to get angry or tell him she was done with him. Instead, she took his free hand and looked into his eyes.

"I love it," she said.

"You...you love it?" he echoed.

"Yes. Let's do it. How do we find her?"

"I can ask Church."

"What about Emily? Won't she want to if Serena was her best friend?"

"I...I don't know. I guess I should ask..."

"Let's have some conversations and see where it lands," Cheryl said, kissing him softly. "But I'm on board, Toll. This is one of the things I love about you—that you care about people so much."

He felt warm and happy at her words, and she squeezed his hand and went back to cooking, shooting him smiles over her work every so often. He knew she'd be partly happy because she couldn't have children and wanted one; it was something she'd found out before her husband died. He looked at her, and he suddenly couldn't wait anymore.

"Will you marry me?" he blurted out, and she looked up at him.

"What did you say?"

He went over to her and took her hands again, and she waited. "I would love nothing more than to be your husband. I love you, and I think we're meant to be together. I want to marry you, if you'll have me."

"Oh, Toll," she said, resting a hand on his cheek. "Of course I'll marry you." He grinned, and she kissed him, and he felt like this was the perfect end to his past life and a great beginning to his new life. He felt like Serena would be proud of him.

Later, he reached for his phone to call Barney to get Church's number. Once he was connected, he took in a deep breath and made his request.

...

Emily felt a bit strange being in Lee's home without him there, even though Maya was familiar with everything. She took in all of his belongings, his scent, his photographs, which weren't many but just enough to reveal who he deemed important in his life. The one in the center of her and Maya that obviously Maya had given him stuck out the most. It gave her a lump in her throat.

She went to his room next, taking in the tidiness of it. She remembered what he'd said and knelt on the floor to look under his bed, pulling out an urn shortly after. It made her heart jump erratically just holding it. This was supposed to be her. Why had he kept it under his bed? She didn't get it, but she wasn't him and maybe if she was so grief stricken, she'd keep his ashes under her bed too. Perhaps it was a way of being as close to the one you lost as possible. It was better than sleeping with them.

She put them back, planning on addressing it another day when he was there with her. She got up and sat on the end of his bed quietly. Maya appeared in the doorway a moment later.

"He's coming back, right?" she asked. The fear in her tone upset Emily. She wished he had at least talked to Maya before leaving. She knew her daughter was internalizing it and blaming herself.

"Yes," Emily said, trying to be more confident than she felt. "Like I said, he just needs some time to think."

"What if he finishes his thinking and decides he doesn't want us?" Maya asked. Emily's chest constricted slightly.

"I don't think that will be the case."

"It might be, though."

"Maya, try not to worry about things that haven't happened yet," she instructed.

"But I can't stop. I think I pushed him away," Maya started. "I lied to him, and that hurt him, and now he's gone."

"No, no, no," Emily said, reaching to pull Maya close and gather her into her arms to cuddle her. "If he's mad at anyone, he's mad at me."

"That doesn't help."

"I know, but he's not mad at you, never at you."

"Did he tell you that?"

"He doesn't have to," she answered. "He loves you, that is very clear." She felt Maya nod against her, and she hoped it brought some comfort. Emily herself worried a little bit that he was going to decide he was done with them both, but she couldn't let her mind go there. She focused on their last conversation.

.

"Lee, I was so scared," Emily said, grasping his hand in hers tightly. He smiled a little.

"Was a little close, wasn't it?" he agreed.

"But it's over," she said. "We can go home." She studied his face, and he held her gaze. Something just seemed a little bit off.

"Yea. Seems that way."

"Can we start over?" she asked. "You and me?"

"I still need time, Emily," he replied. "I need time."

.

She hated that phrase, but she understood it. The thing that aggravated her the most was how much time did he need? A day? A week? A month? A year? 22 months? She wasn't sure, but he'd said it and then he'd asked her to go and let him rest, that he'd see her at home.

She wished she hadn't left, because obviously something had gone wrong between the time he saw her and the time he disappeared.

Someone knocking on the door gave her a start, and for a second, she felt a great hope that Lee had returned but then it crashed because why would he knock at his own house?

She got up, with Maya in tow, and went to answer it.

"Toll," she said, surprised.

"Hey. You mind if I come in?"

"Sure."

She moved to let him pass, and Maya gave him a hug before running off to her book, sensing they needed adult time. Emily offered him a drink, but he declined. He sat at the kitchen table and folded his hands.

"What's wrong?" she asked, feeling scared suddenly. "Is it Lee?"

"Oh, no. Sorry," he said, waving his hand. "No, it's about Serena's daughter."

"Oh, okay. Yes, I talked to Church already about it. I asked if we could look after her." It had greatly shocked her to know Serena had a child with Fred before Emily had come along.

"That's the thing," he said. "I...I want to do it."

"Do what?"

"Look after her."

Emily felt confused at first, and then she understood. "You want to adopt her?"

"Yes. I mean, maybe it's stupid, but I fell hard for Serena and just want to do something in return for her sacrifice, you know? And...and she asked me to find her and give her a good home in her last text, but I didn't know what it meant until now. But I get it...she was your friend, so you'd naturally want to take care of her child."

"She asked you to find her?" Emily asked. "And raise her?"

"Yea. I thought she was talking about Maya, but I think she was talking about her daughter." He looked almost awkward, and Emily was feeling a bit surprised herself, but who was she to disagree with her friend's last wish?

"Cheryl's on board?" She'd learned about his girlfriend after visiting here briefly before going back to hunt for Fred.

"Yes. She can't have kids, and she'd be such a good mom I think. I...I just proposed to her, actually," Toll admitted, his cheeks going slightly pink.

"Aww! You did?!" Emily exclaimed.

"Yea. I should have gone all out, but it was kind of spur of the moment."

"You can always redo it."

"Yea?"

"Maybe," Emily said with a smile.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you because I didn't want to step on any toes," Toll went on, getting back to Serena's daughter. "So...there it is."

Emily knew her friend had deeply cared for Toll as well, and she clearly wanted him to since she'd sent him that text. She hadn't even told Emily about her daughter, but it explained why she connected with Maya so much. And it wasn't like Emily wouldn't be a part of the girl's life at all. She could see that to Toll, this was almost like a second chance for him, a link to Serena he'd always have, and she wanted to give that to him.

"Okay," she said. "We can do a trial run. If she connects with you and wants to stay, then she stays. We both knew her mother, so she can make that choice."

"That's great," he responded, relieved. Emily smiled. "Church said he was picking her up and would bring her here in the next couple of days."

"Perfect."

"You doing okay?" Toll asked her now, and she sighed.

"Not really."

"He'll be back," Toll assured her. "He loves you."

"How do you know? I couldn't tell."

"He's hurt, but he loves you. He was frantic to get to you when Fred had you, but I mean, he's loved you since day one, so that won't change overnight."

"It might if he hates me."

"I don't think he hates you. I think he just feels angry that you didn't trust him enough to tell him what was going on."

"I know."

"Think about it—you didn't trust him to tell him but then trust him to look after Maya when it was over. Confusing, right?"

"Very."

"Just give him time and space. He'll be back."

"How much time and space?"

"I have no idea, but I do know him, and pushing him does not get you anywhere."

"Okay."

He tapped the table before getting up. "Thanks for letting me do this. I hope it works out."

"Me too."

He left, and Emily stood there feeling very conflicted inside about everything. Sure, she'd been Serena's friend, but had they really been friends? She'd hung around to get information on Fred and Ethan; it wasn't a friendship based on themselves as individuals, so did it count? She didn't know. She missed Serena a lot, but she never felt fully understood by her and vice versa, which was because they both had been holding back. It hurt Emily to think they could have had a better, deeper friendship if they weren't both spies hiding their secret lives from one another. She got angry at Church for letting that happen. If they'd both known they were involved, things probably would have ended differently.

"Mum?" Maya said now.

"Yes?"

"Can you help me with something?"

"Sure."

She followed her daughter to her room and did her best to not overthink about everything anymore.

...

Barney stood in his shop and looked at the half finished canoe he'd been working on. He missed Maya, but he knew she was getting some much needed time with her mother. He sighed and set to work finishing up. It relaxed him to work, and he needed to relax right now.

His brain went through everything that had happened in the last while, and he was seriously contemplating joining in on this retirement train. He felt bad for Gunner and Doc, who were still very much eager to go fight some battles, but he was tired. He pondered on what to do as he hammered in tacks. He felt at peace as he worked, something he hadn't fully felt in a long time.

When he paused for a moment, he looked up at the photo of his aunt and uncle hanging on the wall, and he smiled.

...

Church waited on the step as the nanny went to get the girl. He looked around the shitty neighborhood and wondered how this girl was going to react at being removed from it. He exhaled heavily, hearing footsteps finally returning.

A young girl with honey colored hair and blue-grey eyes appeared. She was half hiding behind the nanny, who dropped two bags at Church's feet.

"Hi," he said to her. He felt a softness towards her; he didn't normally get mushy feelings for people, but this girl just looked so...sad.

"Hi," she said back. Even her voice was sweet. He suddenly was glad Fred was dead. She deserved so much better than him.

"My name is John," Church said, offering his real name for some reason. "I'm here to take you to your new family."

"Where's my dad?"

"Unfortunately, there was an accident," Church lied. "He passed away, but he knew these great people who are gonna look after you now."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry," Church added. She shook her head.

"It's okay. He scared me sometimes."

"Ah, well...he can't scare you anymore."

"Are his friends scary?"

"Not at all," Church replied, kneeling down so they were eye to eye now. "They actually were your mom's friends, not your dad's. He just knew of them."

"Oh." A pause, then: "Did you know my mom?"

"I did. She was a wonderful, beautiful lady, and she helped a lot of people."

"She did?" the girl asked, sounding intrigued and happy.

"Yes. Come on, I'll tell you some stories on the drive," Church said, holding his hand out. She took it gingerly, and they began to walk together to his car, each carrying a bag. "Now, you're the only one who knows my real name. Everyone else calls me Church."

"How come?"

"I pray a lot."

"That's funny," she said with a giggle. He smiled. Damn, this kid was adorable. Fred hadn't ruined her after all. Thank God.

"So what's your name?" he asked, although he already knew. It was the only thing that showed perhaps Fred really did actually care about the woman he'd killed. The girl looked up at him with a big smile, and he could see her having a really good future suddenly, even if it was with the so-called psychotic mutts. He was learning he might be wrong about them in that regard.

He looked at this girl, and he hoped her mother was somewhere watching, proud.

Then she spoke: "My name is Serena."