Chapter Summary: Miranja learns of Balgruuf's difficulties being both a Jarl and a father.

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The path to Stonehill Bluff was blocked by a giant.

"Shit," Miranja hissed in a whisper, pulling Erik off to the side. "I'm going to have to find another way in. I don't want to engage this guy in a fight if we can avoid it. I've never seen more than two giants in a camp, so I'm assuming there's no more than one other up ahead. I know I can get in and out of there quickly if I can find a vantage point to scout the place from. But I think only one of us should go in. If I'm lucky, the one inside won't see me. But if he does, and I have to run, I'll probably have to come out this way. Stay here, please, and be ready to cover me or run if I have to get past this guy, okay?"

"Let me come with you," Erik insisted. "I'm good with a bow. You said it yourself. An arrow may not kill a giant, but it can slow him down long enough for us to get away. I can cover you from whatever vantage point we find." He really wanted to get a closer look at a giant camp, not stand outside of one twiddling his thumbs.

Miranja considered for a moment. "Okay," she assented, "but I don't have any sneak potions, so try to keep that clunky metal armor quiet. And stay back unless you have no choice. They're usually peaceful until you get too close."

They scoped out a good place for Miranja to slide down the rocks into the camp, then she fished out an empty phial to put the powdered mammoth tusk into. She wished she could just negotiate a trade with the giant; it would be so much easier and there would be no possibility of violence. Unfortunately, giants weren't that amenable on their home turf, so in lieu of bargaining, she wished she could at least be invisible for a couple of minutes. This made her suddenly remember the invisibility potion that Shadr had given her. She dug it out of her pack and held it in her hand with the empty phial, wishing to avoid using it until absolutely necessary.

"Wish me luck, and be ready, just in case," she told Erik after he reclosed her pack and helped her hoist it back onto her shoulders beneath her cloak. Erik readied his bow and an arrow and nodded, then she slid carefully down into the camp.

It wasn't until Miranja was on the ground inside the camp that she realized there was only one way she could easily get out, and that was the path leading down to the other giant. The rocks were taller than she could climb. A small part of her mind took note of the smell of roasting skeever; the giants had three or four of them impaled on large spikes around one of the fires. It was nearing lunchtime and she hadn't realized she was getting hungry til now. She met eyes with the giant for a scant second, but she was far enough away that he only watched her. She knew that the powdered tusk she needed had to be in one of the three gigantic stone bowls in the center near the two bonfires, but which one?

She started with the two that were on the opposite side of a bonfire from the giant, hoping to postpone any confrontation for as long as possible. Her invisibility potion was weak and would only last about half a minute. She checked the closest one and found it empty, then moved forward toward the other, glancing back over her shoulder nervously to see Erik still standing at the ready on top of the rocks, then glancing in the direction of the giant and feeling relieved that she couldn't see him from this angle. She wondered if the giant had seen them up above before she'd slid down, and if he knew Erik was prepared to shoot him.

Standing on tiptoe and leaning forward, she found that the second bowl was also empty, damn the bad luck. She knew the giant would certainly see her then, and hoped she didn't have to get closer than the point where he brandished his club at her. She backed up and went around between the bonfires, and the giant watched her warily as she slowly moved toward the bowl. She darted her eyes back and forth between the bowl and the giant, glancing once at her hands to make sure she was pulling the stopper on the right phial to be prepared to scoop like mad and run.

Suddenly the giant stomped thunderously, shaking the ground beneath her feet, waving the club in a threatening manner. Quickly, she bolted forward, scooped as much powder as she could from the bowl, and backed away as she stoppered the phial. The giant glowered and took a step toward her, then another, and she could see that he was about to give chase. She turned and ran, separating the phials in her hands and glancing down to make sure she had the invisibility potion in front. Between her hands shaking and the ground shaking, she lost hold of the potion as she tried to pull the stopper free, and she didn't have time to pick it back up; the giant would easily outdistance her even if she didn't stop. She fought to control her panic.

The giant bellowed, and Miranja risked a peek over her shoulder to see that the giant now had an arrow protruding from his shoulder. As he began to switch his club to the other hand, she turned her attention back to the path ahead. Another bellow from the giant, and she looked toward where Erik had been standing. He was still there, but was just turning away to run downhill and meet her at the bottom of the path near the other giant. Knowing that Erik's path down was rougher than hers, she prayed to whatever Aedra were listening that he would get there in time or that she could get past the other giant before he realized what was happening. Odds were slim, she told herself: there was no way he hadn't heard the giant in the camp roaring and running after her.

The ground was shaking and she nearly lost her footing a couple of times, twisting her ankle but hardly feeling it for the adrenaline coursing through her veins. Her only thought was that she couldn't stop or he'd reach her for sure, and she didn't want to take that horrid flight that ended in a stomach-churning splat. The giant cried out again, and out of the corner of her eye, Miranja saw Erik up above as he dropped his bow arm and took off running toward the bottom of the hill again. He must have made another good shot, because the thunderous footsteps were further behind and somewhat slower. Up ahead, she could see the other giant turned in her direction with his club at the ready.

The good thing about giants was that they moved rather slowly. When they raised their clubs to swing at someone, it was almost slow motion. It was the length of their limbs that worked in their favor. The only reason they could outdistance a person in the first place was that their legs were just so long. Miranja's mind was racing along with her legs as she approached the giant, deciding that she would make it think she was going to skirt him by keeping to the rock wall furthest from him, then changing course as he made to strike. Her eyes scanned ahead for any obstacles on the ground that could trip her up, then she focused on the giant. Closer… closer…

The giant twisted to follow her movement as she neared. When she was within reach, he raised his club above his shoulder, and the instant Miranja saw his arm begin the downward swing, she darted straight toward him. His feet were planted wide for balance, and she ducked between them, only registering his pungent body odor for a second or two before she had passed beyond the confused creature. She ran close to the wall nearest the giant now, and was relieved to see Erik sliding down from the rock on the opposite wall just as she reached the end of the rock passage. She took one last glance behind her and saw the first giant arriving next to the second, an arrow skewered neatly through his nose from right to left, and she had to laugh inwardly at the absurdity of it. She and Erik joined up and ran together, focusing on the path ahead. There were a couple of thunderous steps behind them, but then silence shrouded them once again, along with the falling snow. The giant had already lost interest in them.

"Your forehead is steaming," Erik teased once they'd slowed to a walk.

Miranja grinned and wiped her forehead with the back of her glove. "That's 'cause I did the hard work," she ribbed him back, shouldering him roughly.

"Hey, I'd like to see you give a giant a nose piercing," Erik countered, and Miranja had no comeback, so she just grinned and conceded.

The closer they got to Whiterun, the lighter the snowfall became, until they were walking through crispy, crunchy, frozen tundra plants and crossing streams and ponds with a thin crust of ice along the edges. Miranja thought she'd never tire of the view of Dragonsreach from a distance. The warmth of the lights inside and the braziers on the Great Porch reached out across the tundra and warmed her heart and soul.

Erik must have seen the look in her eyes. "Whiterun is a sight, isn't it? Maybe someday when Pa passes on, I can sell the inn and hang out my shingle here. There's surely more business here than in Rorikstead for an intrepid adventuring mercenary."

Miranja smiled. Erik's fresh-faced confidence warmed her heart even further. "You can do whatever you want, darlin'. I think you're getting some good experience. Also, Whiterun is grand, yes, but have you ever seen Solitude?"

Erik shook his head.

"Holy hagravens, didn't your father ever take you anywhere?"

"He says he took me to Whiterun once when I was small, but I don't remember it. He says we were beset by a sabre cat, and he was so shaken up by that, and how worried he was about defending me, he decided never to put me in that kind of danger again. But I'm grown now, and I've proven myself against the wolves and the occasional sabre cat that sometimes prey on the livestock. Even so, it still took you nudging him to get him to let me go out into the world. Thanks again, Miss Miranja."

"Glad to help. For what it's worth, my parents tried to shelter me, too, but not as staunchly as your da."

Once inside the city, Miranja went straight to Breezehome to wash up and change. When not in the colder, snowier climes, she preferred her comfortable leather scout armor – warm, but not too bulky. She put away the books and other items she'd gathered on the trip north.

Seeing that Lydia was not at home, she took Erik up to the Mare for some lunch. Hulda leaned in toward her as she filled her mead cup. "There's been some talk about the Jarl's children," she confided. "They were already difficult, but they've gotten worse lately, especially the youngest. I know you're closer to the Jarl than most who come in here, even that pretentious Nazeem, so I thought, you know, being a woman, you might be able to help him."

"Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm good with kids, Hulda," Miranja said, slightly irritated. "And I'm not as close to Balgruuf as I'd like to be, so this could be an opportunity to learn more about him and become better friends. I'll have a word with him after lunch. Thanks for the tip, dear."

She turned Erik loose after lunch to explore the city and meet people on his own, then made the trek up to Dragonsreach, greeting and being greeted along the way by friends and acquaintances. Even Heimskr's shouted, impassioned sermon added to the general feeling of contentment that she got from being clean, well-fed, and surrounded by friendly faces. She took her time ascending the multiple flights of stairs, trying not to work up too much of a sweat.

When Miranja approached Balgruuf, he was initially jovial and told her how good it was to see her. She could sense that as-yet-unspoken attraction by the sparkle in his eye and the change in his posture. But when she asked the question about his children, he became somber.

"Come, let us talk privately," he said, standing and reaching out for her hand. She gave it, and he took it in both of his. Her hands were rather chilly, and his were big and warm; she wished she could give him the other hand, as well, and still be able to walk comfortably. They headed up the stairs.

She thought he was going to take her out on the Great Porch, but instead he led her across the large foyer to the door leading to the Jarl's Quarters. He opened it and led her through, right on up to his private dining room. Still, he didn't stop, but led her to the back of the room and out the door to the southwest, where she found they were on a narrow balcony with a breathtaking view of seemingly the entire hold.

Here he led her down the steps that ran alongside what she believed to be a bell tower, then he stopped and turned toward her, taking her other hand in his. Miranja enjoyed the warmth as she looked expectantly into his earnest eyes.

"All of this," he began, inclining his head toward the sweeping tundra to the west, "is under my jurisdiction. Most of my people are farmers and Whiterun is the only walled city in the hold, so they are all vulnerable to not only the usual bandit raids and wild animals, but now also to dragon attacks. My men – like in all the other holds – are stretched thin already, thanks to the war, and it's been a great challenge trying to ensure my people are as safe and protected as I can make them."

Miranja briefly wondered what this had to do with his children, but she kept her silence and looked at him attentively as he expounded.

"I admit I haven't given the children the attention they need lately. My mind and heart have been heavy with other matters. I'm aware that my children are... not the kindest people. Nelkir, though... he's changed lately. He's always been a quiet boy, but he's become brooding, even violent. He won't speak to me, and I feel I've upset him somehow, but I don't know what I might have done. He has a different mother than the other two; my wife died in childbirth with Dagny, and in my grief, I turned to a kind and lovely young woman who used to work here at Dragonsreach."

Miranja was shivering slightly, and Balgruuf released her hands and extended his arm slightly toward her at shoulder height with a gentle smile. Miranja took the suggestion and stepped close to his side, allowing him to encircle her shoulders, putting her own arm around his waist. They stood companionably, outer hands on the railing, as Balgruuf continued his story.

"She was a great comfort to me, and she warmed my bed on many a night, and soon she became pregnant. I... should have been more careful, I know. I was in no position, and certainly of no mind, to have a third child, but I did the honorable thing and took care of her throughout her pregnancy. Traditionally, we Nords don't remarry after losing a spouse, so I never married Gjerta, but it wouldn't have lasted long even if I had. While she was still nursing Nelkir, she went down to Riverwood to visit her sister, and was attacked by wolves along the way. Guards changing posts discovered her body later. Losing her was just as painful as losing Nadja. I wasn't getting any younger, you know? Who'd want to keep company with an aging jarl with three children? I resolved myself to spending the rest of my days sleeping alone.

"I had to scramble to find a wet nurse for Nelkir, but as you can see, he survived. He just never had the mother's care that Frothar had. Then again, neither did Dagny, although the housemaids tried to spend time with the children occasionally, playing little games or reading to them. 'Twasn't their job, but they wanted to help. The children had a tutor, as well, but none of that is a substitute for a mother's love." He cast his eyes downward guiltily. "Or a father's love."

Balgruuf paused, and Miranja turned her eyes from the landscape to discover that a tear had slipped from Balgruuf's eye. Her heart twisted in her chest, and she turned to fully face him and impulsively wiped the tear away, searching his eyes sympathetically.

"I'm a good jarl, but I'm a bad father, I know. I wonder if, once this war has ended, it would be too late to take the children on a hunting or fishing trip, maybe visit Solitude – haven't been there in several years."

"I don't have any experience as a parent," Miranja admitted, "but I believe it's never too late to show your children love and take an interest in them. I'm a grown woman and I still appreciate the encouragement and love of my parents."

Balgruuf smiled in appreciation. "Thank you for your kind words, Dragonborn. I imagine that your parents are very proud of you. I'm proud of you, myself, and proud to call you my Thane."

"And your friend, as well, my Jarl," Miranja smiled. "Balgruuf." She reached up to touch his cheek, and he caught her hand and brought it to his lips to kiss her fingers.

"Indeed," Balgruuf agreed. "Like Irileth and Proventus, I trust you with my life."

Miranja smiled and blushed, casting her eyes downward. "I couldn't allow any harm to come to one of my first friends in Skyrim, the strong, handsome Jarl who was the first to honor me." She looked back up at him with a direct, piercing stare. "The Jarl I've longed to kiss since the day I met him."

Balgruuf laughed mirthfully. "I'll gladly give you that and more, if you want it, you beautiful minx," he smiled with a devilish twinkle in his eye.

Miranja inclined her head back, jutting out her chin and parting her lips expectantly, her eyes on his mouth. Balgruuf accepted her invitation, folding her into his warm arms and kissing her gently but firmly.

"Ahh," Balgruuf said with a sigh. "Your lips are soft as velvet. Would you believe I haven't done any more than kissed a girl in the last 10 years? A jarl's position is delicate. Can't be giving fodder to the rumor mill. Besides, it's a rare occasion when I can slip away from Irileth's protective grasp and go looking for a good time outside the keep." He gave another brief laugh, then looked at Miranja seriously once again. "Would you ever be willing to…do more than kiss this old man?"

Miranja gave him a crooked smile and a scolding look. "Balgruuf, you're not that old. And do you really have to ask that? I'm pretty sure we've been attracted to each other since the day we met, but as I recall, circumstances at the time overshadowed that. I guess we just never got around to having that talk. I've… been a little busy."

"We both have," Balgruuf agreed. "But, if you have some space in your busy schedule, I think I can let the city run itself for an hour or so. It would be nice to feel like a man in the bedroom as well as in the throne room."

"I would be happy to squeeze you into my… agenda," Miranja teased, flicking her fingertip down the tip of his nose.

Stepping back into the warmth of the dining room, Balgruuf ordered the guard to step out into the atrium and resume his watch outside the doors. Then, when they were alone, he led her to his bedchamber. Once there, however, he became rather sheepish.

"It feels… unfamiliar somehow, bringing a woman to my room after all this time," he confessed.

"Whatever you wish, Balgruuf," Miranja told him with a tone of obeisance. With her eyes, she let him know that while she would leave if he had changed his mind, she hoped that he would still be inclined to make love with her.

"I didn't say I changed my mind," he grinned, a naughty glint returning to his eye. "I'm just embarrassingly out of practice."

"Well, I'm not," Miranja smiled wickedly and stepped closer. "Kiss me again, like you did outside."

He did, and Miranja wrapped her arms around his waist, melting into him with an impassioned half-sigh, half-whimper. Her hands slid down to his backside and squeezed sensuously. He mirrored her action, having to stoop a bit due to their height difference and bending her slightly backwards. He broke their kiss, sucking in his breath and letting it out in a whoosh over her shoulder. He nuzzled her neck for a moment, raising gooseflesh in the wake of his touch and making her moan softly, then pulled back to look into her face. "By the gods, I've missed kissing a sweet pair of lips. You're right, you know."

"About what?" Miranja asked breathlessly, continuing to kiss him with little pecks to his lips, his cheek, his neck.

"About being attracted from the beginning." He pressed his face against her hair and inhaled the clean, slightly damp scent of it. She had clearly freshened herself before coming to see him, as if she'd… planned this. "A man's eye can't help but notice a beautiful woman, and you were stunning, with that fierce, determined look in your eye. Even in that oversized Imperial armor, those lovely legs of yours drew attention. But it never occurred to me that I'd ever do anything but look and appreciate you with my eyes."

Miranja smiled against his neck, briefly remembering Hod in Riverwood telling her she had beautiful "trunks" on her first day in Skyrim. She took his earlobe between her teeth, biting gently. "To be honest, I'm not usually attracted to Nord men; they're rather brutish. But you, my jarl…" She breathed the words into his ear in a suggestive murmur. "You have this calm confidence about you, even in tense situations, and you make reasonable, intelligent decisions. Your people prosper. You're a good jarl, as you said, and I respect and admire you. And you may not be getting any younger, but you're still attractive to this young woman."

Balgruuf pulled away to smile at her, and she could see in his eyes that her words had encouraged him. His gaze shifted to her bosom, and she began removing her scout armor to reveal the milky white, firm globes beneath. Hardly taking his eyes off her dusky rose nipples, Balgruuf removed and tossed aside his fur shoulder wrap and pauldron. He looked somewhat smaller without the heavy fur around his shoulders, but even so, his shoulders were broad and strong.

"Before this goes any further," he began, in a tender tone she'd never heard him use before, reaching out to stroke her hair, "I want to make sure we understand each other. Our relationship as friends and peers is not going to change. I can't remarry and I don't want yet another commitment, anyway, and three children is enough. This is just an expression of the deep appreciation and affection – and desire – I have for you. I simply want to experience you and share pleasure with you."

"I understand completely, my Jarl... Balgruuf. My intentions are the same."

To Miranja's surprise, he bent down and swept her up off of her feet, then carried her to his bed and laid her down gently. He sat next to her on the edge of the bed and bent over her, drawing first one nipple, then the other, into his mouth and swirling his tongue around them while sucking gently, encouraging them to stand up and greet him. Miranja toyed with his long hair as he did, subtly undulating her hips and pressing her legs together as her arousal grew. When he moved up to kiss her mouth again, she slid her hand up his inner thigh and stroked the hard length she found at his crotch. His trousers were loose enough that she could almost get her fingers around it. It didn't feel exceptionally long, but it was fat, and she yearned to see it, taste it, feel it inside her.

Balgruuf kicked off his boots then stood to remove his trousers. Miranja started to remove the rest of her own clothes, but Balgruuf stopped her. He freed himself from his tunic and stood naked before her. She drank him in, noting the contrast between his tanned, freckled arms and face and his pale body and legs, appreciating the thick hair on his chest that was slightly darker than that on his head and trailed down his belly to spread out again at the apex of his thighs. His chest was still mostly firm, and his belly was starting to soften. She could just make out the definition of his abdominal muscles. He had numerous scars and puckers on his skin from gods knew how many battles.

He only gave her a moment to stare; he sat once again on the edge of the bed, closer to the foot this time, and pulled her boots off himself. Her stockings came next, and he took her right foot in his hands and caressed it, bringing it to his lips and kissing her high-arched instep.

"I don't know why I didn't expect you to have such delicate feet," he said with a smile. "You're a slender lass. So pleasing to the eye."

Miranja flushed and turned her eyes down with uncharacteristic bashfulness. "I think you've mentioned that before," she demurred.

Balgruuf unfastened the buttons on the fly of her leather pants, and she raised her hips off the bed so he could slide them down her legs. He dropped her trousers and smallclothes on the floor next to the bed and immediately returned his attention to her, one knee on the bed, one foot on the floor, eyes scanning her from head to toe.

"The sight of you like this takes this old warrior's breath away, Miranja," he told her in a near-whisper. She liked the sound of her name in his voice and his Nord accent, spoken the way her mother said it. "When I think of the power of the dragon within this little body of yours, it boggles my mind." He bent and kissed her lower belly, just above her mound, stroking her body lightly with his battle-roughened hands and inciting the butterflies to flight within her abdomen. Then he kissed his way up the center of her torso, his erection dragging lightly up her thigh as he moved upward, leaving a cool, wet trail on her rapidly warming skin. He detoured to tease her nipples once again before coming up to hover over her face.

She had closed her eyes to focus on the sensations in her body, but she opened them when she felt his breath on her face and his fingers stroking her hair. She saw the odd expression of regretful longing in his eyes and questioned him with her own eyes. He shook his head.

"Just asking the gods for the hundredth time why I couldn't have kept love in my life. I shouldn't think such thoughts at a time like this, when my beautiful young friend is right here to make me feel young and vigorous again." He shook the mood off and smiled, getting his head back into the moment.

Her impatient body was protesting being kept in suspense. Her belly was tight, her crotch ached, her heart pounded. She squirmed to try to stimulate her swollen nub, rhythmically clenching her inner thigh and pelvic floor muscles. Gods, she was so ready for him... She glanced down and stroked his chest with the fingertips of both hands, pinched his nipples gently, slid her palms down his sides and around to his lower back, pressing gently with her fingertips to encourage him to move closer and satisfy her need.

"Are you in such a hurry?" Balgruuf smirked with a mischievous glint in his eye. "It's been ten years. I want to take my time and savor every moment."

"Sorry, Balgruuf, I'm very easily aroused, and I've wanted you for months. I am so turned on right now I can hardly stand it."

"All the more reason to take my time," Balgruuf teased. "The closer you are to bursting by the time I get into you, the less I have to worry about not lasting long myself." His smile was half amusement, half embarrassment.

"Or you could just satisfy me first and then it won't matter how long you last," she suggested mischievously.

"Tempting, but I hope you'll pardon my Nord pride: I would prefer for you to climax once I'm inside of you. That said, I do plan to torment you for just a bit, if I'm not too rusty."

Miranja smiled and put her hand on the back of his neck, weaving her fingers through his still-thick hair, pulling him in for another kiss. She tasted his tongue as he caressed her left breast with the hand he wasn't leaning on.

"Bring on the sweet torture," she murmured huskily, moving to nibble his earlobe.