A/N: Takes place after 5x09, detailing the night after Haley's death. Please comment any mistakes you see :)

Again, thanks for taking the time to read, it is much appreciated.

Late November 2009

It seemed the world only wanted to continue caving in as he and Jack returned to what Aaron wanted to call an organized shitshow of an apartment. Filthy pots and pans from two days earlier were still left in the sink. The trash stunk and desperately needed a new home in the outdoor shoot. His bedsheets were in arrays, washing still sitting in the machine needing transfer to the dryer, the floor could have used a thorough vacuum.

Stuff he'd hardly given one crap about as a childless bachelor.

Haley had always complained whenever the house was a mess. That trait had softened as soon as Jack came along, however, she never hesitated to rip into Aaron, especially when she constantly cleaned after him. He always thought it was quite amusing, watching his first love fluster over a few crumpled shirts lying on the ground. Now, hot tears were all he could feel as they trawled into the darkness of the apartment, his ex-wife's distant voice scolding him for letting it become such a tip.

"Daddy, can I have a snack, please?"

Hotch hadn't even realized it was nearly half past five. Jack must have been starving. Crap, did he even have anything in his cupboards that wasn't instant coffee? Emily, who had driven the two of them home after the traumatic day, popped down Jack's booster seat and leaned against the edge of the sofa with a heavy sigh as she watched the young boy familiarize himself with the unit.

"Of course, buddy, let me see if I have anything for you to eat."

After combing through his fridge, Aaron found a green apple and some raisins for the starving young lad. Naturally, as soon as Jack started eating, Hotch went into cleaning mode. Not until he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Let me. Go get yourself cleaned. I'll watch Jack."

It wasn't until he looked down that he realized he was still caked in dried bloody clothing. A short pang passed through his system, knowing the bodily fluids of his ex-wife, her killer as well as his own were jumbled together.

Just what Jack needed to be reminded of.

He cursed under his breath, hesitating for a few moments while he found a towel to dry his hands. "Thanks. I won't be long."

"Take your time," Emily suggested, pulling up her sleeves as she started scrubbing. "He'll be fine."

"Buddy… Just having a shower, okay? Emily's gonna stay with you for a few minutes. Is that alright?"

Jack was quiet as he nibbled but nodded timidly as he glanced at the brunette at the sink. With a sad smile, Hotch caressed the boy's shoulder, planting a tender kiss on his forehead and running off to the bathroom.

The moment he stepped beneath the scalding liquid, he couldn't help but seep to the ground like a drowned weed. He liked to consider himself tough, but the pain overwhelmed him as soon as the adrenaline wore off and he started to process everything… He grunted trying to get comfortable with a swollen and bruised torso while the pounding in his head was so severe Aaron could hear it like a racing pulse. At one point it was so hard to breathe he felt himself gagging. Whether it was on the crimson shower water or his tears, he'd never know.

But his physical injuries didn't compare at all to the distress of losing Haley. The fact that she was gone… That there was so much unfinished business between the two of them that Aaron had desperately wanted to make up for. That he'd never be able to make things right. That once again, he'd let the job consume her, literally taking her life. God, how badly he wanted all of this to be a nightmare.

She'd never see their son graduate high school, get married, tuck him in at night and read stories, or take him to the swing sets. It broke him. How could he ever live up to everything Haley had done for their family? He'd have to quit the BAU and go back into prosecution like she had always suggested. Try and figure out how the hell he was going to adjust to having Jack full-time. There was so much to process, and this was only the tip of the iceberg.

How long he'd been pondering his thoughts under the faucet, he didn't know, but Jack needed him. He needed to call the family, let them know about Haley… Start to plan some sort of funeral. Clean the house. Feed Jack a decent meal. It was already going awful.

Thankfully, his little guy was fine when he finally emerged from the room. Already he'd bought out some toy soldiers from the bedroom and seemed perfectly fine. Almost as if nothing tragic had happened that day. That's not to say that Jack didn't understand what had happened. He was just doing what young children his age did, move on like it was just a normal day. And for that, Aaron was grateful. It'd only be a matter of time before reality started to hit the poor boy. He just hoped that period of childhood innocence could last just a little bit longer while he arranged dinner and made some calls...

He was pleasantly surprised to see that Emily had cleared up the mess on the bench and double-bagged the stinking rubbish, ready for disposal outside. He often wondered how he got so lucky. "You know you didn't have to do all that…"

"It's nothing." She replied, smiling sadly at Jack as he talked to himself on the other side of the sofa. "I ordered takeout. Just pizza. Nothing complicated. Should be arriving in ten minutes."

"I appreciate you doing that," he whispered, taking a seat on the ground near Jack. For a moment, everything seemed peaceful, just watching his son. He'd grown so much. Aaron only just recognized the type of speech he was using as he played, and the scenarios he was coming up with. "Do you mind waiting here a little longer with him? I have to make some calls… Let Haley's folks know about…"

"I thought that had been resolved already," Emily replied, a look of annoyance prevailing.

"Rossi offered, I just… Feels wrong coming from anyone that's not me. Especially her parents."

The brunette gulped, nodding sadly as she clutched a pillow close to her stomach. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"Thank you," he barely whispered, wandering off while Jack was pre-occupied.

It went about as well as Hotch imagined it would.

But that was to be expected… He'd failed his ex-wife multiple times over. And Haley's parents had every right to scream, chuck the blame on his shoulders, and remind him repeatedly just how hopeless of a man he was at being there for his wife and son.

The truth was that they'd never understand the full story. Not on the divorce, not on Haley's death or the reasoning as to why she was dead in the first place. He could try and paint Haley in a light that didn't drag her name through the mud repeatedly, but there was no point. They would only hear what they wanted to hear and make their judgements based on that. And Aaron had no energy left to care. He'd done his duty as an ex-husband, letting them know of their daughter's passing. Now his priority was focusing on Jack.

Haley's sister, Jessica, understandably was devastated as Hotch broke the news. It was the one call of the evening he was most anxious about, knowing how close the two sisters were throughout the years. But even through her agony, Jessica was so kind. Offering to come over to the apartment to help with funeral planning and looking after Jack. Hotch, who couldn't bear the thought of organizing that on his own felt immense gratitude for the offer.

By the time he'd hung up almost an hour later, Jack had already eaten dinner and was starting to whine for bed, asking for Haley. Emily had done a fantastic job, getting him fed and occupying him with games; even though Hotch knew she was struggling with the weight of the day almost as much as he was. He'd be forever grateful for her.

A smile broke out on his face the moment he walked back into the living room as his son charged like a bull into his legs. Aaron picked him up, kissing him tenderly on the cheek as he snuggled into his shoulder.

He'd missed that feeling for far too long.

"Let's get ready for bed, buddy bear…"

"Read Green Eggs and Ham?"

Hotch exchanged a sad smile with Emily, silently wiping away her tears across the room. He was glad to see that the Dr Seuss stories were still in fashion.

"Sure, buddy… Wave goodnight to Emily."

They only got through two or three pages of the book before the little guy had his head burrowed into the pillow. It wasn't surprising given the events of the day. Hotch lay there with Jack, just watching. Thinking… Silently crying. The exhaustion was settling in, but there was no way in hell he could somehow bring himself to sleep tonight.

Everything was too much.

When he returned to the living room a couple of hours later, he found Emily still sitting in the same place, staring lethargically into space. Taking a seat next to her, Hotch interlinked his hand with hers, squeezing it tightly. Instinctively, she crawled against his shoulder, letting out a heavy and pained sigh.

"There's pizza in the microwave…"

"I appreciate that, but I can't eat." In all honesty, the thought of food hadn't crossed his mind all afternoon. He physically couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt as though he didn't deserve it after seeing Haley lifeless on the ground.

Emily didn't bother fighting him about it. "Jack go down okay?"

He nodded.

"Out like a light. Although, I don't think it will last long. Expect company tonight."

"Maybe it would be easier if I slept out here. He needs you more than I do."

Hotch shook his head. "He's tiny, you won't even notice him."

"I know… Just seems." She paused. "I don't want to upset him even more if he rolls over and half expects me to be Haley."

An uncomfortable silence passed, both stuck in their thoughts.

"Choice is yours. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"After today, even the floor seems like a luxury… I'll be fine," she whispered, fluffing a pillow before lying on her other side. "You should get some sleep."

"I don't think I can."

Immediately, Emily sat up before smoothing the cushion over her lap and motioning the man to lie down. Hotch let out an anguished groan, taking up the offer. Despite the horrific nightmare of a day, he felt a sense of calmness as the brunette brushed a hand over his hair. There were no words between them, only muffled sobs, and emotional despair. Eventually, Hotch fell into a deep sleep on her lap, with Emily watching over exhaustedly as he finally sought a sense of peace for the first time in 24 hours.