25

Li opens the car door for me, but he bangs the door when he closes it. He does the same when he gets in, which makes me think he's really, really mad, cuz no sane boy would ever hurt his own car like that. He even pushes the key in rage, but he doesn't turn it, so the car's still dead when he says:

"She drives me crazy!" he finally turns around to see me. "What did you tell her?"

I'm scared. I've never seen Li this angry before. For a moment, I'm scared he's also gonna yell at me, and thus we both end up fighting. Trying to keep calm, I answer:

"She asked me when we started dating. I told her as we agreed." I hurry to add. "Right before classes begun."

"That psycho…" He whispers, as he punches the steering wheel. "I totally forgot we hanged together after the first day of school. We went to have coffee."

"But you guys had already broken up…" I whisper back. I kinda feel hurt, although I cannot fully understand why it does feel like hurting.

"I know." He says, and I now feel he's angry at himself. "It didn't mean anything. I mean, yes we had broken up, but we still are, were, friends. So yeah, we went to grab coffee, as friends. But it seems she thought it meant something else…"

"As if she still had some sort of control over you?"

Li takes his time to reply.

"She does." He sighs deeply. "But I wish it wasn't like that. I'm not anyone's property."

We remain silent. Li finally starts the car, and we finally get going, but we don't say anything else. Li's words are echoing in my head, making me wonder what would feel to belong to someone, and have someone belong to me only. No, it's not to belong to. It's to belong with. It's like the first case is an obligation. The second one is a choice. And I think that's the magic thing of it all. Knowing you chose to be with someone, and the most important part, that person also chose to be with you.

When we finally arrive at my place, Li parks and turns off the car. I don't step out (I'm still lost in my thoughts), and since I'm also not saying a word, Li finally asks:

"What are you thinking?"

"You should've really loved her for her to make you feel all this."

Li puffs.

"You're too much, Sakura." He says, kinda amused. "I'm barely sixteen. Yesterday I liked Tomoyo, today I'm not that sure anymore, and tomorrow not even God knows. This is how life is." And then he adds. "You're such a daydreamer."

I don't say a word. I know Li's right. Rika says it. Misaki says it. Meilin, my dad, even Eriol says it. Everybody that has known me has at least said it once. Grandma even says I need someone to break my heart so I finally understand what love really is…

"Thanks." It's all I end up saying, although I'm perfectly aware what Li said wasn't a compliment at all.

"What do you even know about love, Sakura?" Li's question takes me by surprise. "You've never had a boyfriend."

"There are a lot of people that have been in a relationship without being in love. I had."

Li puffs again.

"You mean Hiragizawa? Or any of the other boys who got a letter." I don't answer. "Forget about the letters." He cuts himself. "Ignore all this soap opera drama, and all this rom-com fantasy. Focus on your own life and experiences. Why have you never dated before?"

I look at him, as I try to figure out how his question should make me feel. Should I feel uncomfortable or angry?

"Nobody has asked me." I finally reply.

"You're a liar." He cuts me. "I know Kimihiro Watanuki asked you to the homecoming ball last year, and you said no. What are you afraid of?"

"That exactly. I was afraid. Afraid of this being real."

"That's what happens when you actually fall in love with someone, and you start dating." He proceeds to explain. "It becomes real. Your life is real. Dating, spending time together, making memories together, everything is real, Sakura."

I don't know how to reply to that statement. I am spending time together with Li, we're creating memories together too. Does that mean this is real?

No, I'm getting it all twisted. Li is my fake boyfriend. We have a contract that defines the limits of what's about to happen. Even if it doesn't have a due date, I know there will come a time when we have to part and keep with our lives. With what's real.

"Thanks for bringing me home." I say, sadly.

Li doesn't say anything, but he unlocks the doors, and so I finally step out. I say bye once more, he does the same, I then close the door, and after walking across my front yard, I stop at my front door.

Li, as the gentleman he is, doesn't drive away until he makes sure I walked inside.

How weird this scenario/convo resembles something that happened today, lmao.

I'm still trying to figure out if that one is real or not.

Ribo~