Chapter 2
Author Note: Hey everyone back with another chapter for this story yay! I have to say I was totally blown away by how well the first chapter was received. To be honest given how obscure and random the crossover was I expected like 50 favorites or Follows at most.
Yet to my shock you all blew my expectations away and for that I humbly and sincerely thank you. To be honest this kind of positive feedback/interest I have been receiving in my stories lately has been really keeping my motivation to write alive and thriving.
Now with my thanks out of the way let's move on to a few things about this story that I would like to inform all of you about…
First this is in fact going to be a Naruto x Harem pairing story. Honestly I toyed with the idea of doing a single pairing for a little bit when planning the story out prior to starting to write it. However as I rewatched the three movies and some other movies I plan on using I realized I just couldn't resist using several great and sexy ladies.
Second is that I will be obviously covering all three Austin Powers Movies as if there was any doubt. However I will also be including some story arcs surrounding another movie franchise I love. If it wasn't blatantly obvious in the first chapter that franchise is the 007 James Bond Franchise. To be more precise I will be using the Pierce Brosnan run as Bond movies as those are my favorite. However I may sprinkle in a few of the other movies or maybe even one or two of the James Bond Video Games. I will say however that I will not be covering anything from the Daniel Craig Bond Era as I wasn't a fan of it so sorry if anyone was hopeful for that.
Anyway not much else to say before the chapter starts so be sure to Favorite, Follow, and Review if you like what you see and check out the other stories I have on my profile if you want to…Now let's continue shall we.
(Naruto's Penthouse, London)
In the master bedroom of the penthouse the sounds of carnal pleasure echoed off the walls as the bed springs of the king size bed occupying the room creaked, the headboard banged against the wall, and the covers of the bed rippled and bulged from the movement beneath them. With a euphoric feminine cry of pleasure the movement under the blankets ceased as a large tent formed. With a bit of movement the tent fell back revealing a large chested woman with long red hair, and green eyes as she sat up her naked skin glistening with a sheen of post-coital sweat as her large chest heaved as she took deep breaths.
The woman lets out another moan as her hips twitch a bit and she uses her hands that were situated on the marble-like muscles of her lover's chest to balance herself so she didn't fall over as her body was rocked by the mind melting euphoria of her climax. Just as the woman was beginning to come down from her state of bliss she let out a yelp feeling something twitch inside her along with two firm hands grabbing the fleshy cheeks of her rump "Mmm darling you're still able to continue? We have been at it for HOURS" she says sensually biting her bottom lip as she feels a certain appendage inside her still as hard as steel despite how long they had been at their passionate fornication.
"You know me songbird I am like the energizer bunny" Naruto says with a grin from beneath the woman "I can keep going and going and going…" he says punctuating each 'going' with a deep thrust into the woman causing her to mewl in delight. The redheaded woman went to say something only for her world to flip as Naruto flipped them over so that he was on the top "Now shall we continue baby?" he asks with a grin before he moves to resume their lovemaking. As the blonde leaned down to feast upon the woman's large breasts a ringing sound could be heard from the nightstand next to them causing him to sigh.
The redheaded woman lets out a groan of disappointment hearing the beeping and wraps her arms around the blonde's head to pull him to her breasts "Ignore it darling~" she says with a whine at their lovemaking being interrupted.
"As much as I would like to…and I would REALLY like to Jess, Basil must have a good reason to be contacting me" Naruto says with a sigh as he reaches over to the nightstand to grab the communicator on it much to the annoyance of the redhead below him as she pouted. Flipping open the communicator the small television screen turned on to reveal Basil "Hey Basil, what's up? Also can it wait a bit I am a little busy at the moment" he says greeting the man while making sure to keep Jessica out of the camera.
"A lot is up, I'm afraid Naruto, and unfortunately it can't wait. Not only has Dr. Evil returned after thirty years, the fear of Austin Powers not surviving his reanimation from cryo-stasis have also been proven to be true" Basil says grimly with much less energy than Naruto was used to seeing in the man. "That being the case I need you to report to my office right away for your assignment" he adds.
"Damn that's bad, I can be there in say…an hour?" Naruto says trying to keep a straight face as he feels Jessica tighten her warm honey hole around his member, almost massaging it. The blonde subtly gives her a side-glance to see the coy smile on her face at her teasing.
"I'm afraid I need you here faster than that, the most I can give you is half an hour…make that forty five minutes" Basil says shaking his head with a small smile having an idea of what the agent was doing at the moment.
"Roger that Basil, see you in forty five" Naruto says with a nod before turning the communicator off and turning his attention to the woman beneath him with a grin before raising an eyebrow at her pouting face "What?" he asks.
"Oh nothing just that we only have forty five minutes which isn't even close to enough time to finish" Jessica says with a pout and roll of her eyes before letting out a yelp.
Said yelp came as a result of Naruto running his hands down the smooth flawless skin of her thick thighs before stopping at her knees and hiking them up towards her lage chest with her calves and feet now resting on either side of his head. As a result of the change in posture his member reached deeper in her and breached her inner chamber "Well then my sexy songbird bunny I guess I will have to kick things up a bit to make sure you are plenty satisfied before I have to go" he says with a grin before the two resume their carnal coupling in a near frenzied speed as Jessica's moans and shrieks of delight echoed around the room once more.
(45 Minutes Later, Ministry of Defense, London)
A showered and suited up Naruto was walking through the halls of the building on his way to Basil's office. The crimson haired man had finished his activities with Jessica leaving the woman thoroughly satisfied if the dopey blissful grin on her face was any indication as she slept in his bed. Following up the carnal coupling Naruto had taken a quick shower before getting dressed and leaving a note for his bed partner before making his way to the M.o.D. Approaching the door to Basil's office Naruto gave a quick knock before hearing the response of "Come in" prior to entering.
Upon entering the man sees Basil sitting at his desk while next to him stood an American General "Agent Uzumaki reporting sir" Naruto says politely to his boss.
"Ah, welcome Naruto, allow me to introduce General Gilmour of the U.S. Strategic Command," Basil says, greeting the crimson haired man and introducing him to the man beside him. Hearing this Naruto offers the American a two fingered salute to which he nods before Basil continues "As you are aware Dr. Evil is back and it's up to you to stop him. In addition you will have a partner for this mission" the man adds.
Hearing that he was to be assigned a partner caused Naruto to scowl a bit as ever since Alec's death he had refused to be assigned a partner "Sir I am sure I can handle this assignment alone" he states voicing his displeasure in a polite way.
Basil in response to the albeit predictable response just shakes his head "I am sure you can Naruto however we felt that given the situation it would be best if you had another set of eyes" he says knowing that the agent would be against being assigned a partner.
Letting out a sigh of resignation Naruto just looks at his boss "Alright who is my partner?" he asks, wondering who he would be assigned.
Upon hearing this Basil brightens up a bit "You will be assigned Miss Kensington" the man says causing Naruto's eyes to widen a bit "We felt that given how Austin and Mrs. Kensington were paired together, and how well you and Miss Kensington worked together in the Academy it made the most sense to pair the two of you together for this assignment" he says revealing the reasons behind said pairing before a knock is heard on the door "Ah this must be her right now" he adds moments before the door to the office opens.
As the door opens in walks a strikingly beautiful woman, her chestnut brown hair flowed down to her shoulders framing her face and deep blue eyes over which she wore a pair of circular rimmed glasses. The gray button up business jacket she wore strained every so slightly against her moderately sized chest much like how the gray thigh-length skirt she had on hugged the curvy hips and ended at the mid-thigh of her long slender legs. To finish out her attire she had a pair of brown high-heeled shoes on.
Vanessa finished her entrance into the room and stood next to Naruto with a small smile on her face "Agent Kensington reporting sir" she says to Basil greeting him before turning her attention to Naruto "Agent Uzumaki it has been awhile. I must say it's good to see you again" she says formally to the crimson haired man.
"...Right, good to see you again as well Vanessa" Naruto says after a moment, a little put off by the formal greeting she gave him, especially since they used to date back when they were in the academy.
"Splendid now before the two of you set off in Austin's Jumbo Jet which is now your Jumbo Jet Naruto, I need the two of you to swing by the personal affects department and recover Austin's possessions he left before he went into cryo-stasis. You likely won't need them but protocol dictates that should an agent pass and their next of kin is able to, they must recover any possessions said agent left in storage" Basil says to the two before dismissing them.
(Few minutes later)
The two agents walk up to the counter of the personal affects department with Naruto clearing his throat to get the attention of the bored looking man behind the counter "Name?" the man asks in a bored tone.
"Agent Naruto Powers Uzumaki picking up the personal possessions of the deceased Agent Austin Powers" Naruto says to the man stoically, given he really had no attachment towards his genetic father. The crimson haired agent already knew the situation regarding his conception and it didn't bother him at all, as while he respected Austin's service to the country, he didn't like the kind of man he was.
"I don't have a Austin Powers here, but I do have a Danger Powers" the receptionist says with a bored sigh as he scrolls through the various lists of people on his computer.
Naruto just pinches the bridge of his nose hearing this "That's probably him, no idea why he chose to use his middle name instead of his first" he says with a tired sigh already regretting coming to pick up the possessions.
"Right one moment please" the clerk says before walking away for a moment then coming back with a box and setting it on the counter. The man then reached into the box and began pulling the items within out one by one "One Blue Crushed Velvet, Suit…One Frilly Lace Cravat…One Silver Medallion with 'Male' symbol…One pair of Italian Boots…One Vinyl Record Album 'Burt Bacharach Plays His Hits…One Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pump…-" the man lists off before being interrupted.
"Say what?" Naruto asks blinking owlishly while Vanessa gains a wide eyed look on her face as the man pulls said object out of the box.
"I said One Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger-" The man says only to be interrupted again.
"Oh I heard you the first time I just wish I hadn't…Look is there anything else worth noting in the box?" Naruto says with a sigh of tiredness.
"There is a signed credit card receipt, warranty card, and book by Austin Powers all in regards to the aforementioned Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pump" the receptionist says looking in the box.
"Right…Well I will take the record album, but how much for you to just burn the rest of the box and never speak of this to anyone" Naruto asks the man just wanting to get the embarrassing situation over with and swept under the rug as fast as possible.
"...100 pounds?" the man says after thinking for a moment only to catch the wad of money Naruto threw his way.
"Here is a 1,000 now I expect you to never speak of this again, burn the box and its contents, and have a nice day" Naruto remarks before he grabs the vinyl album and turns his back to the man before walking away.
After a moment Vanessa follows after him "Agent Uzumaki that wasn't standard protocol for the acquisition of personal possessions" the woman says to him.
"Oh I know but I wanted to put that mortifying ordeal behind me as soon as possible…also really 'Agent Uzumaki'? Seriously Vanessa after how well we knew each other back in the academy you really wanna refer to me in such a formal way?" Naruto asks his female partner with a raised eyebrow look as they walk through the halls of the building.
After a moment Vanessa smiles slightly "Alright then…Naruto" she says with a bit more relaxed tone getting a small grin from him.
"Much better, now what say we see what kind of abomination my sperm-donor's jumbo jet is before heading off to track down Dr. Evil shall we?" Naruto asks his grin still on his face at getting her to unwind just a bit like how she used to be.
"Sounds good, and our intelligence department put his location as somewhere near Las Vegas, Nevada." Vanessa replies, getting a nod from her crimson haired companion as they head towards the aircraft storage hangars at Heathrow Airport to obtain Austin's jet.
(Somewhere Outside Las Vegas, Nevada)
Beneath the desert landscape Dr. Evil sat in his chair in front of his three generals "Lady and Gentleman, Welcome to my underground lair. It's been 30 years but I'm back, and everything's gone perfectly to plan, except for one small flaw…" the man says, greeting everyone while petting his cat Mr. Biggles. "Due to a technical error by my henchman Mufasa, complications arose in the unfreezing process" Dr. Evil says ceasing his petting of Mr. Bigglesworth as he begins tapping his fingers on the table in an irritated manner.
Hearing the irritation in the evil man's tone Mustafa nervously pulled off his sunglasses and gulped "But my design was perfect" the man says defending his invention.
"Look at what you did to Mr. Bigglesworth!" Dr. Evil yells in rage as he shows said cat to the man and everyone else. Where once was a cat with a beautiful pure white coat of fur was now a hairless cat.
Seeing the change to the cat Mustafa gains a horrified look "But, Dr. Evil, we were unable to anticipate feline complications to the reanimation process-" the man says, making an excuse for the mistake so as to try and calm the man down.
However, unfortunately for him he was interrupted by said man who yells "SILENCE!" before pressing the button on his execution board assigned to Mustafa's chair. Said man lets out a yell as his chair tips back, dumping him into the open trap door as a tower of flames emit from it burning him alive. As the now empty and smoking chair tips back into place Dr. Evi looks around the room at his remaining henchman "Let this be a reminder to all of you, that this organization will not tolerate failure" he says in warning to them all. He opened his mouth to continue only to be cut off by Mustafa's moans of agony from the execution room below them causing Dr. Evil to turn his attention towards the smoking floor vent that's connected to said room. After a moment the groans faded so the evil man continued "Now let's get down to business shall we?" he says only for Mustafa to resume groaning for a moment. Once the groans stopped once more he resumed talking "We've got a lot of work to do-" Dr. Evil says before he is interrupted.
Said interruption came from Mustafa once more "Someone Help Me! I-I'm…still alive, only I am very, very…badly burned" the man calls out from the execution room begging for help and in an indescribable amount of pain.
After waiting for a moment to see if Mustafa was going to say anything else Dr. Evil continued addressing his henchman "Some of you I know, some of you I am meeting for the first time" he says before once more being interrupted by Mustafa.
"Ah-Ah! Hello out there! Anyone! Could someone please call an ambulance? I'm in quite…a lot of pain!" the grievously injured man calls out from the execution room before going silent once more.
"Okay, you've all gathered here to form-OHHH!-Excuse me!" Dr. Evil says only to be interrupted by Mustafa screaming loudly in pain resulting in the man finally having enough of it. Reaching to the side Dr. Evil picks up the phone next to him and presses a button. After a moment someone picks up on the other end "Yes, he's still alive down there…burned, badly…yes" he says before hanging the phone up with a slight grin.
Almost immediately after this Mustafa called out from the execution room again "If somebody could open the retrieval hatch down here, I could get out. See, I designed this device myself so…Oh yes thank you, thank you so much!" the man says as someone opens the hatch in the room while Dr. Evil just silently laughs hearing this "I'm glad you found me. Listen…I'm very, very badly burned, so if you could just-" Mustafa says only for a gunshot to ring out, cutting him off and silencing him. Hearing this Dr. Evil just smirks thinking the man was finally dead "You shot me!" Mustafa cries out shockingly not dead and thus stunning Dr. Evil "You shot me right in the arm!-"the injured man yells before another gunshot rings out.
After a moment of silence Dr. Evil smirks thinking the man is finally dead "Alright moving on" he says before being interrupted yet again.
"YOU SHOT ME IN MY DICK AND BALLS!" Mustafa yells out in agony from below, his words actually getting a wince from Dr. Evil. Psychotic Madman with little to no morals he may be but even he felt uneasy about a man being shot in the dick and balls.
However before the man could think on it anymore another gunshot rings out and Mustafa stops talking again "He's dead this time sir No way he survived a bullet between the eyes, especially given how his brains are now decorating the wall behind him!" the henchman calls out from the execution room. Unfortunately for the man though his attempt to leave was stopped when the room was activated once more via Dr. Evil pressed Mustafa's button again thus burning the lowly henchman alive.
As the henchman's screams of agony ceased Dr. Evil waited a moment to make sure he was really dead before coughing into his fist "Right note to self, have all henchman attend marksmanship classes as well as acceptable places to shoot someone classes" he says to himself before turning his attention to his bewildered remaining henchman "Right…With that taken care of allow me to go around the table and introduce everyone to everyone else. Frau Farbissina, Founder of the Militant Wing of the Salvation Army. Random Task, Korean Ex-Wreslter, Evil Handyman extraordinaire…Random Task please demonstrate what you do" he says introducing Frau to everyone, as well as Random Task.
Random Task, hearing the request, takes off his shoe before flinging it at a ceramic bust of the Roman Emperor Nero. The shoe collides with the bust's head snapping it off and sending it to the floor where it shatters. The man then casually cracks his neck while Dr. Evil practically giggles in excitement.
Dr. Evil then turns towards the last remaining member of his generals group "Patty O'Brien, Ex-Irish Assassin. His trademark being a superstitious man, he leaves a tiny keepsake from his good luck bracelet on every victim he kills. Scotland Yard would love to get their hands on that little piece of evidence" he says a little cheekily.
"Yeah, they're always after me lucky charms" Patty says with a thick irish accent before noticing how his response causes the others to chuckle "What? Why's everyone always laughing when I say that? They are after me lucky charms!" he asks, not understanding why they are laughing.
Stifling her chuckles Frau looks at the man with a grin on her face "It's a television commercial for cereal…" she says in her thick German accent "There's this wee little cartoon leprechaun, and all the children are trying to chase him to get his lucky charms. Oh and there's always these little marshmallows in the cereal, so that when the kids eat them they think 'Oh this is candy, I'm having fun!" the woman says explaining things to the irish mean and leaving him visibly confused.
Seeing the awkwardness Dr Evil decides to continue the introductions "Finally we come to my number-two man. His name…Number Two" he says introducing the well-dressed, eye-patch wearing man as he enters the room "For thirty years he has run Virtucon, the legitimate face of my evil empire." he adds as the man stands at the end of the table opposite Dr. Evil.
"Dr. Evil, over the last thirty years Virtucon has grown by leaps and bounds. About 15 years ago we shifted away from volatile chemicals to the communications industry" he says before pulling out a remote and pushing a button on it causing the table to open up revealing a map of the United States "We own cable companies in 38 states, a Steel Mill in Cleveland Ohio, Shipping in Texas, Oil Refineries in Seattle, and a factory in chicago that makes miniature models of factories" he says informing his leader of all that has been accomplished over the three decades.
Dr. Evil merely nods at this before smiling a bit "Gentleman and Lady, I have a plan…It's called blackmail. As you know the royal family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the royal family pays us an exorbitant amount of money or we make it seem that Prince Charles has had an affair out of marriage, and therefore would have to divorce due to scandal" the man says explaining his master plan.
Hearing this Number Two clears his throat to get Dr. Evil's attention "Um Prince Charles did have an affair. He admitted it and they are now divorced" Number Two says informing the man of said event that renders the plan moot.
Hearing this Dr. Evil sighs "Right well you have to tell me these things people. I have been frozen for 30 frickin years alright! Throw me a frickin bone already!" he says, a bit angered by information being kept from him. "I'm the boss…Need the info to make things run alright? Anyway, here's my second plan. Back in the 60's I developed a weather-changing machine, which in essence was a sophisticated heat beam which we called a "Laser"" the man says explaining his second plan and doing air quotes when he says 'Laser'. "My plan is that using these "Lasers" we punch a hole in the protective layer around the world, which we call the "Ozone" layer. Slowly but surely ultraviolet rays would pour in thus increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless…the world pays us a hefty ransom?" he says with a grin as he brings his pinky up near his mouth.
However once more Number Two clears his throat "That also…has already happened. In fact there have even been some rather astounding breakthroughs in the form of topical creams to prevent skin cancer if applied properly and thoroughly" the man says once more informing his boss how his plan was no good.
Hearing this Dr. Evil just sighs again "Well shit…Fuck it why don't we just do what we always do, hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage good?" he says with a shrug and after getting nods from everyone else "Good it's come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic, Kreplachistan is about to transfer a nuclear warhead to the United Nations for inspection in a few days. The plan is that we hijack the warhead and then proceed to hold the world ransom for….One Million Dollars!" he says with an evil grin.
Yet again Number Two cleared his throat causing Dr. Evil to roll his eyes tiredly "Dr. Evil, a million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days. In fact Virtucon alone brought in over 9 BILLION Dollars last year" he says with his response causing the man's eyes to widen in shock.
"Really? That's a lot more" Dr Evil remarks getting a nod from Number Two. "Alright then we hold the ransom for…100 BILLION Dollars!" he announces subtly looking towards Number Two who nods at that being the correct amount.
(Naruto's Jumbo Jet)
The large psychedelic tie dye painted jet was currently flying through the air heading towards the state of Nevada. Inside of said jet Naruto and Vanessa were looking around the private quarters section of the aircraft. Said section had a mini-bar, gaudy 60's wallpaper, siberian tiger-fur beanbag chairs, and even a queen-size circular bed with a cheetah print blanket on it "...First thing I am doing after this mission is hiring someone to completely repaint the exterior, and an interior decorator to abolish the eyesore that is the interior" Naruto remarks actually wincing at how…tacky the jet was. Though he had to admit the mini-bar was a nice touch and the bed wasn't horrible.
"Yes it is rather…dated" Vanessa remarks dryly before noticing a trio of buttons by the bed "I wonder what these are for?" the woman adds as she walks over to the buttons and presses the first one which causes a small disco ball to drop down from the ceiling and 'Mood Music' to start playing. Raising an eyebrow at this she proceeds to press the second button which causes the bed to start vibrating and slowly spinning.
However before she can press the last button Naruto stops her "Given the last two buttons I think it's probably in our best interest if you don't press the third one" he remarks as they were clearly 'mood setting' and with the way each button got more 'intimate' he was half expecting a bunch of dildo's, bottles of lube, or other sex toys to pop out of the wall next.
"Perhaps you're right" Vanessa remarks as while she was curious about what the third button did it likely wasn't a good idea to push the final button before she returned to the bean bag chair she had been sitting in.
Naruto proceeds to walk over to the mini-bar and make himself a drink before making one for Vanessa as well "So it's been several years since we last saw each other, how have you been and what have you been up to over the years?" he asks the woman as he takes a seat in the beanbag next to her.
Before she replied Vanessa takes a sip of her drink and her eyes widen slightly at the taste "All these years and he still remembers how I like my Old Fashioneds" she thinks to herself impressed by the crimson haired agent's memory. "Well after we graduated from the academy I spent some time traveling the world and learning several languages. Then I went on to apprentice under a senior agent for a bit before just recently becoming a full-fledged solo agent in the last two years. To be honest though this is my first big mission" she says telling what she had been up to over the years "What about you?" she asks, wondering what he had been up to.
Naruto swirls his drink a bit the ice in it clinking against the glass a couple times before he answers "Well after the academy I was tutored by a 00 agent for a bit, went on some missions, you know the usual stuff" he says with a shrug as really hadn't done much in his opinion.
Hearing this Vanessa was a little surprised by the fact that he was tutored by a 00 agent. However after a moment a thought popped into her mind "I noticed you left out any relationships, are you seeing someone?" she asks in curiosity as she takes a sip of her drink.
"Not really" Naruto replies with a shrug "I mean yeah I have had some hookups over the years, occasionally with Professor Mitarashi as a refresher for 'Seduction', or if the mission calls for it, or sometimes with a friend. But nothing serious" he adds as it was the truth. Since his mutual breakup with Vanessa back in the Academy he hadn't had a 'Girlfriend' or a serious relationship. The closest to it he had gotten was with Jessica who was more along the lines of a semi-exclusive friends with benefits situation. "What about you Vanessa? Anyone been raving in the 'Vave' over the years" he remarks with a grin using the old nickname he had given a part of her years ago.
Hearing the old corny nickname caused a bit of a blush to form on the woman's cheeks before she downs the rest of her drink "I will have you know that I have been focusing on my career over the years, so no I have not had any…relations…with anyone" Vanessa remarks a little hotly given how she both hated and found the nickname he had given her lady parts amusing. She left out that while she had not had relations with anyone over the years, it didn't mean that she hadn't 'taken care of' her own needs when the desire stuck her.
Having said this and noticing the rather smug smile on Naruto's face she went to take another drink from her glass only to find it empty. Letting out a slight huff at this she got up from the bean bag chair to make another drink. However unfortunately for Vanessa it was at that moment that the plane hit a rather rough patch of turbulence causing her to lose her balance and land on top of Naruto in his chair.
"You know Vanessa…If you wanted to shag all you had to do was ask?" Naruto remarks with a cheeky grin as the two were currently in a 69 position with his head between her thighs and her head down by his crotch. Hearing the cheeky remark Vanessa just groans in annoyance and tries to not think about the hot breath blowing against her panty-clad crotch, or the large hardening tube of meat that she was intimately familiar with pressing against her cheek through his pants, or the manly smell emanating from it as she pulls herself off her fellow agent. Vanessa proceeds to smooth out any wrinkles that might have formed in her outfit before resuming her walk to the mini-bar and making herself another drink all the while ignoring the cheshire grinning face of her partner.
(Dr. Evil's Base)
Having finalized the details on their plan to hijack the nuclear warhead Dr. Evil and his followers were wrapping things up when Frau clears her throat "Herr Doctor, remember when you had us freeze your? You said that if it didn't look like you were coming back, we should try to make you a son. That way a part of you could live forever" she says in her German accent to the man who raises an eyebrow at this.
"Oh sure" Dr. Evil replies though he honestly has no idea of what the woman is talking about as he doesn't remember doing or saying that.
"Well, after a few years we…got a little impatient. Dr Evil, I want you to meet your son" Frau says with a grin on her face.
Hearing the revelation that he has a son causes the man's eyes to widen in surprise "My son?" he asks in a shocked and questioning tone.
"Ja…SCOTT!" Frau says before screaming the name at the top of her lungs causing everyone to flinch at the loud screeching yell.
After a moment the sound of a door opening is heard along with the brief but blaring loud sound of heavy metal music before the door closes. Then a man seemingly in his early 20's with brownish hair, and blue gray eyes wearing an orange jacket, rocker t-shirt, and blue pants walks out looking around wondering why he was called.
Seeing his son Dr. Evil looks on in shock before he slowly gets up from his chair "Hello Scott" he says in greeting unsure of what he should say to greet his offspring.
"Um hi?" Scott replies unsure of who the man was or why he was being introduced to him.
"I'm your father…Dr. Evil" Dr. Evil says suddenly ripping off the bandaid so to speak.
Scott's eyes widen a bit hearing this before he gives the man a disbelieving look "I haven't seen you my whole life, and now you come back and just expect a relationship?" he says in disbelief before scoffing "I hate you" he adds in a venomous tone. The man then notices the almost pleading look on Dr. Evil's face as he holds his arms out as if wanting something "What?" he asks, wondering what the man could want.
"Could I have a hug?" Dr Evil asks softly only for Scott to shake his head in denial. Yet despite seeing this the man pressed on "Come on give me a hug" he says wanting to hug his son.
"No get away from me you freak" Scott says in repulsion at the man that was his deadbeat father.
"Hey, I'm hip, I'm with it" Dr. Evil says trying to bond with his son before he begins doing a very awkward looking dance that ultimately ends up being the macarena. However upon seeing the appalled look on Scott's face Dr. Evil frowns a bit "Well don't look at me like I'm frickin Frankenstien, give your father a hug" he says before he begins chasing after Scott who flees the man's advances.
"Get away from me you lazy eyed psycho!" Scott yells as he continues to be chased by Dr. Evil all throughout the room while everyone just sits and watches.
(Las Vegas, Nevada)
Having arrived at Las Vegas and their plane landing at a private airstip, the two secret agents had gathered their things before unloading his car from the back of the jumbo jet and driving towards the Vegas strip. Said car was a red with black racing stripes running down the side of it 1992 Dodge Viper. With Naruto behind the wheel the two secret agents drove down the famous Vegas strip passing by countless casino's theaters, and hotels and all the bright neon lights that lit up the night and made the city of sin so famous.
After a brief bit of driving the two arrived at the hotel they were staying at with Naruto pulling up to the curb outside the entrance of the building. Upon stopping they were approached by the valet of the hotel "Welcome to Las Vegas, sir and madam" the man said with a smile as he opened Naruto's door for him.
"Thank you, now I want to make something abundantly clear…should you scratch my car, you will never be seen again" Naruto says to the man with a creepy blank look on his face and a deathly stare as he hands the man his keys. The valet hesitantly and nervously takes the keys with a gulp before Naruto grins and proceeds to hand him a couple hundred dollars "That being said do a good job and you will receive another tip" he adds politely as he and Vanessa with their bags in hand enter the hotel.
"Really Naruto?" Vanessa remarks with a deadpan look on her face at her partner's threatening of the valet over his car.
"Hey I have put a lot of time into my car and I want it to stay in good condition" Naruto says with a firm look on his face before giving the woman a sideways glance "Plus I seem to recall you enjoying it when I beat that guy back in the academy when he trashed your motorcycle due to him scoring lower than you on the marksmanship exam…In fact I remember you being VERY 'Grateful' as well" he adds with a wink and a chuckle.
To her credit Vanessa managed to mostly suppress the blush that was forming on her face at being reminded of said event. However that didn't stop the woman from narrowing her eyes at her companion for his almost smug look for calling said event out in the first place. She was even unable to refute his claim as she had in fact been very 'Grateful' for his stepping in and the thanking of him had lasted quite a few hours and was very thorough.
The two agents then proceeded to check into their luxurious suite room and head into it taking a look around at the rather spacious room. As they did so Naruto spotted the bed and raised an eyebrow "So what side of the bed do you want?" he asks Vanessa as the two set their luggage down.
"You will be taking the sofa" Vanessa says with a small grin on her face as she walks into the bedroom and sets her luggage down on the bed before turning to him "In fact I would like to remind you that the only reason we are sharing a room is to keep up the cover of us being a married couple on vacation" she adds as she begins to unzip unpack her luggage.
"Oh that's cold…Though given how the cover is us being a married couple the whole not sharing a bed thing seems a bit on point" Naruto remarks with a deadpan look on his face. It was then however that the man caught sight of the contents of Vanessa's suitcases, namely how they were all neatly packed away and organized in plastic bags with labels on them "Yikes the OCD been flaring up again?" he asks with a teasing grin to which she just deadpans at him.
Vanessa begins inspecting her luggage including the twin silver Desert Eagle Mk, VII's she used for her firearms. Seeing the large handguns Naruto just sweat drops "Really Vanessa you still use those hand cannons?" he asks as he would have figured she used a more practical gun now.
"My Desert Eagles are perfectly fine and effective I will have you know" Vanessa remarks as she inspects the guns making sure there were no issues with them and that they were sighted in correctly.
To her response Naruot just shrugs and pulls out his pair of M9 "Sword Cutlass" handguns and inspects them "Whatever you say 'High-Cal', me I will always prefer my good old cutlass's, accurate as hell and powerful enough to get the job done" he says with a teasing grin using a former nickname of hers given how she preferred higher-caliber firearms.
The two agents went on to finish inspecting their gear and luggage before changing into some formal clothes and heading down to the casino. As the two enter the busy and bustling casino they look out at the numerous people playing various games be it slots, cards, roulette, craps, and nearly any and every other gambling game there was.
Turning his head to the side Naruto grins a bit at Vanessa's choice of attire. Said clothing was a blue sleeveless cocktail dress that went down to her calves and clung to her body rather snugly accentuating her chest and ass. Additionally there was a slit running up the right side of the dress that ran up to her mid-thigh allowing for easier movement and unknown to all but Naruto also allowed her ease of access to her concealed gun should a shootout occur.
Unknown to the crimson haired agent however, Vanessa was also checking out his choice of clothing. Said clothing consisted of a standard black with crimson red trimming two-piece tuxedo minus the bowtie or tie. Much like his female companion Naruto was armed as well with one of his pistols tucked away in a custom made concealed holster pocket on the inside of his jacket.
"So let's run over the briefing again" Naruto says unknowingly, snapping the woman out of her inspection of his form.
"Right" Vanessa says a little embarrassed before clearing her throat a bit masking it as a cough "Intel suggests that a company located here in Las Vegas, called Virtucon has potential ties to Dr. Evil given how in the man's absence the company went from a rather small company focused on volatile chemicals to a massive communications company with assets in numerous fields and thus the company has become immensely wealthy" she says, running down what was mentioned in the briefing in a hushed tone so as to not be overheard.
Hearing this Naruto nods "Right and it would make sense for a company tied to Dr. Evil to shift into a far more lucrative field as it opens up vast amounts of wealth to fund all of the man's evil schemes" he remarks as it would make sense for the company to do that.
"Right and our intel suggests that a number of Virtucon's Executives frequent this specific casino regularly to gamble…and there's one right there" Vanessa says before noticing one of said executives sitting at a blackjack table.
The two agents in disguise walk over to the table. "Mind if we join you?"Naruto says to the eyepatch wearing man sitting next to a beautiful Italian woman at the table. Not getting a response Naruto and Vanessa take a seat at the table as the dealer finishes shuffling the cards.
"The minimum bet is $10,000" the dealer says before Naruto pulls some poker chips out of his jacket pocket and sets them down on the table. With the bets having been placed the dealer proceeds to deal the cards starting with the man in the eyepatch "A King for you sir" he says before dealing a card to Naruto "And a 3 for you sir" he finishes before dealing a 7 of diamonds to the eyepatch wearing man, and a 2 of spades to Naruto.
"Hit" the eyepatch wearing man says wanting another card despite already being at 17 after using the hidden x-ray vision feature of his eyepatch to see that the next card to be dealt would be a 4 of Clubs.
"I suggest you stay sir" The dealer says, trying to convince the man to not take another card given how it would most likely go over 21.
The eyepatch wearing man just ignores the dealer before turning to look towards Naruto and Vanessa "I like to live dangerously" he states calmly getting a raised eyebrow from the crimson haired agent.
Hearing this the dealer draws another card which sure enough is a 4 of clubs "4 of Clubs makes 21 congratulations sir" the dealer says as the eyepatch wearing man gets a polite round of applause from the people who had gathered to watch the hand of cards.
The dealer then turns his attention to Naruto who just smirks "I'll stay"he says causing the group of onlookers to gasp and mutter.
Raising an eyebrow the dealer simply remarks "I suggest you hit sir" thinking the decision to stay on such a low number was foolish.
"What can I say? I also like to live dangerously" Naruto replied with a smirk as he looked at the eye-patch wearing man, while next to him Vanessa just groaned at her partner's antics.
With a shrug of his shoulders the dealer deals himself two cards getting a Ace of Hearts, and a 3 of Spades "Your five beats my four, congratulations sir" he says rather shocked by the man's luck while the onlookers applaud at the outcome.
Naruto just chuckles "What can I say, I have the devil's luck" he says before looking at the eyepatch wearing man "Good game, and allow me to introduce myself. My name is Arashi Kaze and this is my lovely wife Juliet Silver-Kaze" he says to the man using the aliases that he and Vanessa had for their undercover identities.
"A pleasure to meet you Kaze-san" the eyepatch wearing man says referring to Naruto in the traditional Japanese style as he figured it would be correct to do given how the man across from him was clearly partial Japanese based on his name. "My name is Number Two and next to me is my Italian Confidential Secretary. Her name is Alotta...Alotta Fagina" he says introducing his female companion who just smiles coyly at Naruto.
"Come again?" Naruto says thinking he had misheard the man when he said the name of his companion while Vanessa just gave the woman a deadpan look at the name.
"Alotta Fagina" The woman says, repeating her name and holding her hand out towards Naruto with a seductive smirk.
"Charmed to meet you" Naruto replies with a smooth smile on his face as he gently takes her offered hand and lightly kisses her knuckles before letting go and turning back to Number Two. "So Mr. Number Two you look like a well to do man. Tell me are there any worthwhile corporations to invest in around here as despite the missus and I being on holiday I can't help but have that old business itch if you know what I mean" he says to the man implying that he was a wealthy man looking to invest in american companies.
"Virtucon is the only really worthwhile corporation in the area, and it just so happens that I am the head of it" Number Two replies before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a business card to hand to Naruto. "Here is my card, if you schedule an appointment with my secretary here I am sure we can work out a very beneficial business transaction. Now if you will excuse me I must visit the little boy's room" the man says handing Naruto the card before getting up to head towards the bathroom.
Naruto merely tucks the card into his jacket pocket before giving Alotta a roguish grin "Well Ms Fagina I shall be in contact soon as I am most interested in setting up a meeting" he remarks smoothly getting a sultry smile from the woman. Naruto then turns slightly to look at Vanessa who was sporting a small frown at his blatant flirting with the Italian woman "I am going to tail Number Two, you keep an eye on her. We'll link up back at the Hotel Suite" he whispers to her before excusing himself from the table and subtly following after Number Two.
However unfortunately for the agent he loses sight of the man in the throng of people going about their business on the gambling floor. As a result he fails to notice that instead of turning right to go into the bathroom he turns left going down a separate hallway. Thinking he is still following the man, Naruto enters the bathroom and looks around a bit before noticing a bathroom attendant sitting on a stool next to him "You didn't happen to see…Oh sorry about that" he remarks before apologizing as he didn't notice the man was blind. Feeling bad for the remark, Naruto reaches into his pocket and pulls out a couple hundred dollars before putting it in the man's tip jar before heading over to the sinks to freshen up.
Suddenly the door to the bathroom flies open nearly hitting the blind bathroom attendant as a stereotypical cowboy looking man walks in and stands next to Naruto at the sink "Howdy" the man says with a wide grin as he turns to look at the agent for a moment.
"Heya" Naruto replies in greeting to the man just to be polite. The crimson haired man then decides to wait around for a little bit in case Number Two comes in so he enters one of the stalls and closes the door behind him.
As he sits down on the toilet the cowboy enters the stall next to him and sits down as well "Have a good one!" the man calls out excitedly.
"Alrighty then" Naruto replies back a little weirded out by the man. As the agent sits around waiting for Number Two to arrive he is unaware that a section of the wall behind the toilet opens up above him revealing Patty O'Brien. The assassin looks down at the unaware form of Naruto and slowly removes his lucky charm bracelet. The sound of the charms tinkling accompanied by the reflection of the man in the metal toilet paper holder alerts the agent to the presence of the assassin.
Acting fast Naruto brings his hands up and moves them in between his throat and the assassin's charm bracelet as he begins to grunt and groan as he works to prevent the assassin from strangling him. Hearing the grunting and groaning, the cowboy notices Naruto's feet flailing a bit "Hey partner, come on you gotta relax a bit, ya don't wanna blow out your o-ring" the man calls out in support.
Naruto stands up off the toilet a bit before rearing his head back and smashing it into Patty's nose, dazing him and causing him to release his grip. Acting fast Naruto grabs the man and drags him into the stall before sticking his head in the toilet. The assassin can be heard gurgling loudly as he tries not to drown in the dirty toilet water given how the previous occupant of the stall didn't flush their feces.
Hearing the gurgling the cowboy winces "That's right buddy show that turd who's boss. Now just grab ahold of something, bite your lip, and give it hell. Come on partner we'll get through this together" he adds in support before the sounds of Patty's gurgling grow louder as the man frantically tries to pull himself from the soiled toilet bowl. "Hey now that sounds pretty nasty, how's about a courtesy flush" he added with a grimace at the sound.
Taking the man's advice Naruto flushes the toilet causing the water to rise up and finish drowning Patty. As the man drowns on the soiled toilet water his body goes limp in Naruto's grip. With the assassin dead Naruto takes a few deep breaths before walking out of the toilet stall and washing his hands in the sink.
"Good lord partner what did you eat!?" The cowboy yells out in a joking manner as he sees the dead assassin sticking out of the toilet.
"What can I say? Irish food goes right through me" Naruto jokes with a grin as he looks at the dead assassin.
"Indian food does the same thing to me" The cowboy jokes back before the two men share a laugh and exit the bathroom. Naruto makes sure to put a nearby 'Out of Order' sign on the bathroom door as they leave and go their separate ways.
End Chapter 2
Ending Author Note: Well there is Chapter 2 everyone and hope you enjoyed it. A couple of interesting developments in this chapter and let's see who among you are able to guess who the woman at the start of the chapter is…be sure to answer in a review.
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