A/N: Back again with another. I honestly didn't expect to write another chapter so soon after the last, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. Again, took a lot of liberties with ghost abilities and the timeline in which Julie's mother died and what she died of (since we know nothing about it and Netflix still hasn't announced season 2), but I'm guessing that her mother died from an illness like cancer since it would make the most sense. Her mother did get a chance to write a song before she died and if she died of something that happened suddenly, there would have been no way she would have had the time. Anyway, this chapter takes place before the first in my random timeline. And like the first chapter, this one is a long one. Enjoy.

Chapter Song: Wake Up by Madison Reyes from the Julie and the Phantoms soundtrack

It's Not What You Lost, It's What You'll Gain

No matter how much Julie tried, she just could not sleep. It evaded her. She stared up at the ceiling and attempted to count sheep. But when she lost count for the fourth time and still lied awake, she abandoned all attempts. Sighing, she sat up and grabbed the journal she started keeping after her first meeting with Dr. Turner. It had all of her most private secrets, hopes, and dreams. It saw the inner workings of her mind in the weeks following her mother's death. It knew of her superficial crush on Nick, and how her growing bond with Luke made her realize how shallow her infatuation with Nick really was.

She hadn't much use for it lately with the band and school taking over much of her time. Not to mention, she confided more in her father and her best friends (both living and dead). There wasn't much to tell the pages of the journal anymore. The last thing that she had written about was her fear of losing the boys. Of how she didn't want to go back to that time in her life when everything, including music, seemed so lackluster.

Though she had accepted that there wasn't anything she could do about the inevitable, about the boys eventually crossing over, to let them go so soon after they brought light and color back into her life had proved to be hard. If not for that sign of a dahlia being presented to her in that alleyway, Julie wasn't sure if she would have gone up on stage.

But she trusted her mother.

Trusted and believed that her boys were sent to her for a reason. And that she couldn't give up just yet.

Tonight, however, she found herself revisiting a train of thought she hadn't dwelled on in weeks: her mother's death.

It hadn't escaped her attention that midnight marked the anniversary of her mother's passing. She'd become more and more aware of the date within the last week as the days progressed closer to it. But she carried on. Pretended like it was just another date. None but her family and Flynn were any wiser. The guys, especially, were unaware of the importance of it.

She preferred to keep it that way.

She worked too hard to get herself to the point where just thinking about her mother and her absence in her life didn't bring her to tears. The last thing she wanted was for the boys to be walking on eggshells around her.

Flicking the small light by her bedside on, she brought her legs up and leaned the book against them as she wrote down her thoughts. So deep in what she was writing, she failed to hear the first knock on her door. When a second slightly louder one came, she glanced up before reaching for her phone. The time read 1:36 am and she wondered who would possibly be up at this time.

"Jules?"

Hearing Luke's voice, she quickly put the journal away and ran her fingers through her hair to make sure that it wasn't a bird's nest on top of her head. "Come in."

He walked through the door, smiling. "Hey."

"Hey. What's up?"

He shook his head as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Saw your light was on. Can't sleep?"

"No," she answered with a sigh before shifting over and patting the space beside her.

He took the invitation and kicked off his Vans before climbing onto her bed beside her. "So, what's keeping Julie Molina awake?"

"I was thinking about my mom." He nodded, and she figured that he had kind of guessed that was where her head would be.

"Do you...wanna talk about it?"

"No." Silence passed between them. "What were you like as a kid?"

He huffed a laugh. "Stubborn. Always getting into things. Full of energy."

"So, nothing has changed." He shoved her playfully with his shoulder and she laughed.

"My parents had to find ways to keep me busy. Sending me to summer camp every year was a way to get a few weeks of peace when school was out. When they bought me my first guitar, I mellowed out a bit as all of my energy went into learning how to play. I'm sure they wished they hadn't."

"I'm sure that they're glad that they did," she said, reminding him of that moment in his living room with his parents and the song he'd written for his mother.

"You're probably right," he whispered with a grin. Julie smiled before a yawn escaped her. "Tired?"

"Yeah, for the first time tonight."

"Then I'll just…" He moved to leave when her hand shot out and grasped his bicep.

"Stay. Please?"

Smiling softly, he nodded and resettled himself next to her. Turning off the light, Julie slid into a lying position and waited for Luke to join her. Her hand found his in the darkness and felt him squeeze gently.

"Night, Luke."

He didn't respond. Instead, he brought her hand up to his lips and placed a small kiss on the back of it. Julie slipped into a deep sleep with a smile on her face.

When she awoke to her alarm hours later, Luke was nowhere to be found.

Julie pulled herself out of bed and got ready for school, though everything in her told her to stay home. Even her father gave her the option to stay home. But Julie decided to stick it out; to not let people think that she had slipped back into the grieving daughter she once was.

Her decision had proven to be foolish.

Getting through first period was simple; the intricacies of Chemistry kept her mind busy. It was second period when she began to feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack at the edges of her mind. When the pressure built to the point of breaking, she excused herself to the restroom and typed a quick '911' message to Flynn.

Gripping the porcelain sink, Julie tried to remember the breathing exercises Dr. Turner taught her. It had been so long since her last anxiety attack. She didn't understand why it was happening now. She thought she had gotten past this. Thought she had managed to strengthen her psyche so that this would never happen again. Yet, here she was.

"Jules?" Flynn called.

"In...in here."

Flynn rounded the corner. "You know when you send a '911' text with the location as 'bathroom,' you should really let me know which bathroom."

Julie smiled sardonically. "I'll try to remember that next time I'm in the middle of an anxiety attack."

Her best friend's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. "What? Now? Why now?"

"If I knew…" She groaned and slumped further over the sink as her stomach began to cramp.

"Okay, Jules, just breathe with me." Flynn placed her hand on Julie's back. "In and out. In and out." Julie took Flynn's cues, trying to regulate her breathing and slow the incessant beating of her heart.

When Julie finally began breathing normally, she wrapped her best friend up in a hug. "Thank you."

"I don't know what you're thanking me for." Flynn pulled back. "You're my girl. I'll always have your back." Julie smiled and their fists met in a gentle fist bump. "Do you want me to call your dad?"

She nodded and watched as Flynn contacted her father to let him know that Julie wasn't feeling too well. She was grateful that she didn't mention the attack, knowing that her father would suggest Julie revisit Dr. Turner. Though Dr. Turner was nice to talk to, she didn't think it was necessary.

When her father came to pick her up, he tried to get her to open up to him. But Julie just gave the same excuse that Flynn did and leaned her head against the window.

"Is it about your mom?" Julie tensed but remained quiet. He sighed. "Julie, I know today is a hard day for you. It's been one for me, too. You don't need to hide that from me."

"I had another attack," she confessed.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I just...didn't get a lot of sleep last night. My mind kept thinking about her."

"I understand. We all miss her, Mija. Today has been somewhat of an off day for all of us. You're not alone. You can talk to me whenever you feel overwhelmed, or to Flynn, or probably even your bandmates. You have people in your corner, Julie."

"I know, Papa." She turned to him and smiled. "I know."

He dropped her off at home, apologizing that he couldn't stay with her.

"It's fine. I know you have to work."

"I'll see you later, Mija."

She closed the door and waved as he drove away. Turning towards the path that led to the house, she was caught off guard by the sound of music playing. With a sigh, she went in the direction of the garage. Of course, she wasn't surprised to see Reggie and Luke having a jam session. Alex sat on the couch, nose deep in a book. Crossing her arms, she cleared her throat. The only attention she got was from Alex, who immediately poofed over to the amps and pulled out the cords.

"Hey!" Luke cried. "What was that…?" His question died on his lips when he noticed Julie.

"Oh, hey Julie," Reggie greeted, completely oblivious to the fact that it was way too early for her to be home.

"What have I told you about playing when you're alone?"

"Not to," answered both Reggie and Alex.

Without another word, she turned on her heel and started back towards the house. Luke appeared before she was able to reach the front door.

"Dah!" Julie yelped, stopping in her tracks. "Don't do that!"

He grinned. "Sorry. What are you doing home so early?"

"Wasn't feeling well," she muttered before stepping around him and continuing to the door.

"Does it have to do with what was keeping you up last night?" he asked, following her.

"Kinda. Sorta."

"Jules, you know you can talk to us, right?"

She turned to him and smiled. "Yeah. I know." He didn't follow her in and she was grateful for it.

She was out like a light the moment her head hit her pillow.

A few hours later, she was awoken to the sound of a car door slamming. Yawning, she sat up.

"Slept well?"

"Jesus…" She huffed and tried to slow her heart as she took in Luke as he sat on the couch in the corner of her room with his notebook in hand. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged, not looking up from the lyrics he was writing. "Alex and Reggie were arguing about someone called Harry Potter and it was getting on my nerves."

"So you decided to come into my room, why?"

His gaze finally lifted to meet hers. "Because I write better when you're around." She knew if her skin were paler, her cheeks would be bright red. He smiled as if aware of the effect he had on her.

But maybe he did know.

"Think you're up for a little trip?"

"Where?"

"For me to know and you to find out. What do you say, boss?"

Hearing her name being called from downstairs, she held up a finger to him. "Give me five minutes and I'll meet you back here."

He nodded and she disappeared downstairs. Finding her dad in his study, the lie came easier than she expected. She made up the excuse that she would be in the midst of a writing session with Luke (which wasn't a complete lie, cause she would be with Luke) and asked if he would text her when dinner was ready since she would be on FaceTime. He nodded in complete understanding like she knew he would. Her father knew how important music was to her and writing helped her clear her head.

With her alibi set, she ran back upstairs and found Luke in the same spot where she left him; eyes focused on his journal, but this time with a guitar pick lodged between his teeth and guitar in hand.

"Ready?" he asked, looking up.

"Yeah. Quick question, though, how are we getting there?"

He smiled as he stood. "The quickest way I know how." Sliding the pick between the strings and the fret of his guitar, he pushed the strap so that the instrument was resting on his back before reaching for her. Confused, she took his hand and allowed him to pull her close. "You trust me, right?"

"Of course."

"Good." He brought her arms up to latch around his neck before wrapping his around her. "Hold on tight."

"Wha…?" Before she could finish her question, the feeling of something pulling at her from the inside followed by the rush of wind. The next thing she knew, they were standing on a secluded beach. "How?" She glanced around before her gaze found his.

He chuckled. "Truthfully, I didn't think that would work."

Her eyes narrowed. "You did that without knowing if it worked? What if it didn't?"

He shrugged. "You would still be in your bedroom."

"You're impossible, sometimes."

With a grin, he took a step back from her and took a seat in the sand. Julie glanced around again to make sure there was no one else around.

"Relax, Jules, hardly anyone ever comes here."

"Yeah, well, you know about it so it can't be completely hidden." She took a seat beside him as he brought his guitar in front of him and began strumming a few mindless chords.

"I used to come here a lot when things at home got bad. It was a great place for me to just breathe and clear my head." He glanced at her. "Figured it would serve you the same purpose."

"What makes you think I need to clear my head?"

"Come on, Julie; I'm dead, not clueless." His gaze went to the horizon. "Something's been on your mind since last night."

She nodded. "You're right."

"Wanna talk about it?" She remained silent. "Does it still have to do with your mom?"

"Yeah," she answered after a long moment of silence. Her eyes met his. "Yeah, it does." He stared at her with empathy in his gaze. He waited for her to continue; not pushing her to open up if she didn't want to. Julie swallowed the lump in her throat and took a deep breath. "Today is the anniversary of her death."

His gaze didn't change. There was no pity in his eyes; just compassion. "I'm sorry, Jules, I didn't know."

She laughed bitterly. "How could you? I didn't want you or the guys to know. I didn't want to see the same pitying looks that I got from everyone at school or to be treated as if I was going to break at any moment from you. From any of you." She brought her legs up towards her sternum and crossed her arms over her knees. "But I should have known that you guys wouldn't have treated me that way. I should have trusted that you would understand that pity was the last thing I wanted." Her eyes met his again. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you."

He shook his head. "No apologies necessary." Silence fell between them. "If you don't mind me asking," he started, "how… how did she die?"

"Breast cancer. She was diagnosed when I was ten, but she managed to beat it into remission." Julie took a breath, trying to force herself to get through the rest of it. She was grateful that Luke seemed to understand that she needed a moment. "But it came back stronger last year, more aggressive. It spread before the doctors even had a chance to come up with a plan. She was gone just a month after we learned it came back."

Tears were streaming down her face. Tears she hadn't realized were there until Luke reached up to wipe them away. She graced him with a grateful smile.

"I wish I had gotten more time with her."

He nodded. "I know. I feel the same way about my parents."

It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to remember that the boy beside her had been dead for the last two and a half decades now that he could touch her freely. The days before the Orpheum show seemed like a simpler time. It had been easier for her to deny her growing feelings for him when she could pass through him.

"Can I ask you something?"

He smiled. "Anything, Julie."

"Did you…" She bit her lip, the question on her mind a bit more personal and probing than any other question she had ever asked of him or the guys. "Did you know you were dying?"

His smile dropped and his face shifted into something more serious. It was an expression she'd only seen him wear that afternoon when he caught her visiting his parents. She suddenly wished she could rewind time and stop herself from asking. The boys never spoke of their death that often, only the offending food that got them there. But never the exact details of it. She wondered if they even remembered it as clearly as they thought.

"You don't…"

"I didn't at first," he finally answered after a long silence. "All I could focus on was the pain. It was like someone was stabbing me from the inside." His gaze was far away as if in another place, or another time. "The lights in the ambulance felt too bright, the EMTs' voices were too loud. I don't know which of us went first, but I remember not being in pain anymore. It was like a moment of peace before the darkness."

"Do you think my mom suffered in the same way?"

He shrugged. "Every death is different, I'm sure. Depending on the circumstances."

She leaned her head against his shoulder. "She was in so much pain in the end."

"Wherever she is now, she's not anymore."

The sound of the crashing waves provided background noise as a comfortable silence blanketed their conversation. The sun slowly crawled its way across the sky, creating brilliant colors as it began to dip beyond the horizon. Julie smiled softly, feeling utterly at peace for the first time today.

"Luke?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

She felt his lips on the crown of her head. "Anything for you, Julie."

Her heart skipped a beat within her chest as she felt herself fall deeper for the boy beside her.

When her phone buzzed minutes later, her father announcing that dinner was ready, the two of them stood facing each other. Julie wound her arms around his neck, her eyes locked on his. The look on his face was one she'd seen her father give her mother time and time again and she knew that whatever she was feeling towards him was mutually felt. She smiled brightly as he curled his arms around her waist. With a silent poof, they left the solitude of the beach behind.

Another A/N: so you know how all the great romance couples have words or phrases that define them (i.e Jack and Rose 'You jump, I jump' or Hazel Grace and Gus 'Okay? Okay')? My headcanon has 'Anything for you' as the defining phrase of Julie and Luke. Why? Because the way Charlie said it was just too adorable to ignore it.