"So you got a horror movie for me?" Producer Guy asked the screenwriter guy that he always shares the same face and body with.
"Yessir I do, so I know you wanted to do a Five Night's at Freddy's type movie since you just played the games for the first time, but we don't have the rights to that." Screenwriter Guy said.
"After hours of shutting doors and jump-scares I'll settle for anything with killer animatronic animals." Producer Guy shrugged.
"Well okay then so this movie's gonna be called Willy's Wonderland, and I was thinking we can get Nick Cage in this thing." Screenwriter started the pitch.
"Ooo Nick Cage is tight!"
"Okay, then so Nick Cage is driving down this country road but then his tributes are popped by some road spikes."
"Hate it when that happens." Producer Guy remarked.
"That happened to you?" Screenwriter asked.
"Long story."
"Well Nick Cage is the picked up by this mechanic, and Nick tries to pay for the repairs but the town this takes place in doesn't have internet."
"Oh no it is a horror movie!"
"I know sir! So since Nick Cage doesn't have paper money he has to work as a janitor for me night at this pizzeria called Willy's Wonderland."
"That's the name of the movie!" Producer exclaimed.
"It is sir." Screenwriter nodded.
"So what's Nick's character called exactly like what's his name in the movie?" Producer Guy wondered.
"Pass."
"What pass?"
"Yeah I didn't think of a name, unless you count the Janitor." Screenwriter looked at his notes.
"Nick Cage is fine."
"Alrighty then, so Nick Cage starts cleaning up the pizzeria, but then is attacked by one of the 8 killer robots." Screenwriter explained.
"8 robots?"
"Yeah yeah yeah!"
"I had trouble surviving 5 nights with 4 killer robots, gonna be tough to survive one night with 8 animatronics."
"Actually it's gonna be super easy, barely an inconvenience." Screenwriter said the iconic line.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah cause Nick Cage just demolishes all the animatronics in one on one fights, with Nick taking breaks every now and then to play pinball." Screenwriter says.
"Why don't the animatronics just kill him together and not go one on one?"
"I don't know."
"Why don't they kill him while he's playing pinball during his breaks?"
"I don't know."
"And why doesn't Nick just kill the robots after the first battle? Surely that would have given him the idea that these animatronics are evil." Producer questioned.
"Listen sir I'm gonna need you to get aaaalllll the way off my back about these animatronics and their kill habits." Screenwriter remarked.
"Well okay let me get off of that thing."
"Great."
"So are there like other characters besides Nick Cage and the robot animals?"
"Well there's this girl Liv who's been trying to burn down the pizzeria with her friends."
"And what are they like?"
"Doesn't matter they're just here to stall time for the fights."
"Oh."
"Yeah but Liv tells Nick all the history of this Pizzeria."
"Oh she does?"
Screenwriter then explains, "So Willy's was founded by this serial killer who staffed the place with a whole bunch of his serial killer friends and they'd kill families in the Super Happy Funroom."
"Why are pizza places always founded by serial killers?"
"I don't know, but before they get arrested they do a satanic ritual that puts their spirits in the animatronics."
"That sounds like that one movie franchise with the doll that has a serial killer's spirit inside." Producer thought.
"No it doesn't."
"Ok then."
"So then Willy's was bought by this billionaire named Tex MacAdoo, and he reopened it without it changing the name or mascot."
"He doesn't change the name and mascot associated with child murders?"
"That's what we're going with. But then he shuts it down again after more incidents with the animatronics."
"Have they not tried to a destroy the pizzeria after that?" Producer questioned.
"They tried but the animatronics broke into the demolitions guy's house and ate his guts out."
"Oh my god."
"And they killed a bunch of people when ignoring them didn't work."
"Oh my god."
"And so they made a deal with the killers inside the robots that they'd give them offerings if they leave their town alone." Screenwriter says.
"What kind of offerings?" Producer asked.
"Mostly outsiders and horny teens."
"Oh dear."
"Yeah and Liv is actually a survivor from a night at Willy's." Screenwriter brought up.
"Does it have any meaning to the story?"
"Not much."
"oh."
"Yay, cleaning, robot fight, teens, rinse and repeat until the ending."
"That's it?"
"Yeah pretty much."
"Well this will have to do until an actual 5 Nights film is made."
5 Nighy at Freddy's movie set for 2023