...
"Mario... that's not a... g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-girllll!" whined Luigi.
Mario rolled his eyes. "Of course it is-a. I've been the 'Pipe God' longer than your whole life. I know what bitches sound-a like. I'm not a virgin like you."
"You're fucking retarded," commented the mysterious voice, dropping noticeably in intensity. "Holy."
Suddenly everything started swirling and spinning; the walls of the elevator disappeared into a rotating white-brownish goop. Yoshi shuddered and threw his hands on Mario; the latter grunted and pushed him on the floor.
"HALP! HALP!" Luigi freaked out and started running in circles like a headless chicken, repeating the word nonstop.
Then the swirling stopped and they found themselves back in the front room. A disoriented Luigi ran into a nearby lamp and fell on his back. Mario stood his ground and held up his fists as the figure finally revealed himself...
It was none other than King Boo!... (Obviously. Who else were you expecting it to be? I made it pretty obvious the whole time. You'd actually have to have been stupid not to have figured it out.) Our spooky ghost king floated in place, and was sucking a fudge popsicle.
"This story hasn't been updated in almost 6 years. I wasn't just gonna go six years without eating," muttered King Boo. "I didn't think it was ever getting updated. So y'know, I didn't see the need to rush."
"Yoshi Yoshi Yoshi? (There were popsicles?)" whined Yoshi, picking himself back up.
"Yeah," said King Boo. "For ME. Not you. Don't get any ideas."
Yoshi slumped down. King Boo finished his popsicle with a "Ahh" and turned to the heroes with a wide eyed grin, eyes bugging out his socket. "MARIO BROS! Long time no haunt!... Really long time."
Luigi pulled himself off the floor, looked Boo in the eyes and went pale faced. He couldn't even get out a gulp before collapsing. "Don't hurt me!" He screamed, covering his face with both hands. Mario held up both his fists and readied himself.
"TOO LATE!" laughed King Boo. He floated up to Mario's face and... held up a piece of confetti.
Mario looked up and shot him a side eye? "Uh? I thought you were gonna kill me-a."
"Yeah. I meant kill you. With happiness. DUH!" King Boo rolled his eyes.
"Oh... ok," said Mario. "I woulda preffered using my pipe-a."
"I'd rather not," King Boo muttered. "If you're gonna be like that..." He snapped his fingers.
Suddenly, the walls of the fun house started shaking, and the entire building began to crumble.
Mario yelled, "Oh no! The plot is collapsing-a!"
Luigi added, "The narrative-a is dying-a!"
"YOSHI! (Yoshi want fudgesicle!)" Yoshi screamed.
The characters ran (or in King Boo's case, floated) around in a comical frenzy as the fun house crumbled around them.
With a final crash, the fun house collapsed entirely, burying our heroes and King Boo beneath its ruins.
END