What. The. Hell!?

I fully expected this story to flop and instead you guys make it blow up practically overnight! Is this story really that entertaining, or are you just in it for Laurier, Lefiya, and Hörn (not that I blame you, they're all underrated waifus)?

Ah, well. As agreed, since the first chapter did well, I'll be continuing this story. Bear in mind though, comedy is not my forte, so I do apologize if this story does appear stale due to my lack of experience writing humor. I'd love to hear any feedback you guys have on writing comedy, since this story will focus mainly on that, with a slight sprinkle of seriousness here and there.

Regardless, I do appreciate all the love you guys have for this story, even if it started out as just a one-shot crack fic.

Chapter 2: Hörn's No Good, Very Bad Day

"Master Bell, are you okay? You seem really tense."

"Like a rabbit that's about to get eaten by a pack of wolves."

"W-Welf, please stop comparing me to rabbits!" Bell squeaked. Why did he always have to be called that!?

"But Sir Bell, you've been moving your head back and forth like you're expecting to be ambushed by someone. We're just in the middle of the street?" Mikoto pondered.

The 4 of them were walking down the main street towards Babel for a routine trip to the Dungeon. Mikoto had volunteered to join them, partly as recompense for her Familia's actions in the pass parade, and they all set out to hopefully gather some money for a nice celebration after their Adventure on the 18th floor.

And yet, Bell kept on wandering his eyes all across the city as they walked, his hairs standing on end as a familiar sensation creeped up his neck. "I-It's just that, I have this funny feeling that I'm being watched by someone. Or like someone's following us."

Welf, Lili, and Mikoto could only respond with puzzled looks. "But who'd want to follow us in the first place? Nobody should even know what happened on the 18th floor since the Guild put that gag order, and the only ones who saw us were from Loki and Hermes Familia." Welf pondered.

"And who'd want to rob a party like us anyways? Master Bell is probably just stressed out since that incident." Lili offered.

Bell let out a hesitant laugh. While he understood the rationale, he still trusted his instincts, and something was SCREAMING at him from the back of his head, warning him of danger.

But whoever was giving him the stink-eye didn't make themselves known, and so the party continued their walk towards Babel.

And as they stopped by the Central Fountain, he finally spotted his stalker.

A young woman a few years older than him, with hair as gray as overcast skies and matching eyes, dressed in a bright white dress patterned with flowers, and carrying a basket of food in one arm and a bouquet of flowers in another.

She would have made for a beautiful sight, the epitome of a pretty village girl, if it weren't for the murderous glare etched on her face.

Bell felt a shiver run up his spine as the mysterious girl stood in front of him and his party. Hands and arms trembling, she turned her face downward, teeth bared like a wild animal forced to restrain itself from mauling its prey.

Behind him, Welf, Lili, and Mikoto stared at her with confusion while he tried to make sense of the rather paradoxical figure in front of him.

"U-um, Miss? Do you need something from us?"

The girl clenched her teeth even harder, the basket of food and bouquet of roses falling to the ground.

"You…"

"Me?"

"Hate you…" the girl muttered quietly.

"Huh?"

When she raised her head, Bell felt his soul nearly escape his body. If looks could kill, then even his ancestors would have turned in their graves.

"I HATE YOU!"

With a mighty roar, the girl pulled out a long dagger from her back, and instantly ran towards him!

Welf and the others quickly pulled out their weapons but she was too close to Bell for them to stop her in time. And as for Bell, he was so shocked by the sudden assault that he wasn't even able to react.

"I'M GOING TO-!" the girl roared as she lunged at him, about to thrust her dagger into his chest.

But…

'OH, NO YOU DON'T!'

And just as suddenly, the girl suddenly twitched, dropping her dagger to the ground and colliding into Bell, sending them both tumbling to the ground in a dusty heap.

"Bell!"

"Master Bell!"

"Sir Bell!"

The three quickly recovered and made their way to their friend, only to stop suddenly in their tracks as the most ridiculous sight appeared before their eyes.

Bell's would-be attacker had tightly draped herself on top of his body, her legs wrapped around his thigh, arms curled around his chest, and her head buried in the crook of his neck. She trembled in his arms, her entire body vibrating in place, and Bell couldn't help but notice how she erratically rubbed her crotch incessantly against his pants, all while he could hear her hastily muffled gasps and moans in his ear…

"U-um, Miss? C-can you let go of me?" Bell uttered into her ear.

Sadly, his voice seemed to have the complete opposite effect, the girl twitching even more and hugging him tighter to her body. With an exasperated glance towards his party, who could only look on in confusion at the once murderous girl now clutching him like a lifeline, Bell could only maneuver his arms between the two to try and push her off, not knowing of the intense battle being waged in his assailant's mind.

'Goddess, why!? Why must you torture me so!?' Hörn thought dejectedly, humiliated beyond belief as she lay in the throes of pleasure once again.

Another wave of carnal ecstasy flowed down her spine and straight to her loins, causing her to buck her crotch fervently into Bell Cranel's thigh. Even worse, with her head nestled between his shoulder and neck, she was completely defenseless against his scent, a combination of his sweat and natural pheromones that tore down the literal floodgates inside her quivering flower and caused her stark white dress to turn soggy with her love.

It didn't help that she quickly grew more and more addicted to his musk, her nose greedily inhaling every particle of air like a shark hunting for its prey.

Biting down on his shirt in a desperate attempt to control herself, Hörn closed her eyes and prayed that her Goddess would free her from her torment.

Sadly, Freya was not in a forgiving mood.

Sitting on her lavish seat in her reserved room at Babel, Freya looked on with her Divine Gaze, cradling a cup of wine with one hand, and thrusting her fingers deep into her velvety depths with the other. Though her cheeks were flushed with arousal, her eyes held no sympathy for her wayward attendant, having seen and felt the contradictory emotions coursing through her mind and groin.

"Don't think I didn't suspect what you were trying to do, Hörn." Freya muttered, increasing the pace of her fingering and using her other hand to now grope her breast. "You will follow through with the plan, or things will be very unpleasant! Or should I say, too pleasant!"

(Flashback)

Hörn had never felt more dejected and ashamed of herself than she had at this moment, prostrating herself in front of her beloved Goddess, carrying her newly updated Status Sheet in her hand and looking as if she would snap her neck at a moment's notice.

Her worst fears had been realized. In a cruel twist of fate, she had indeed fallen in love with Bell Cranel, her Goddess's beloved. Through their shared connection, she felt every bit of love and lust Freya had for her Odr, and the more she interacted with him as Syr, the more she found herself falling deeper and deeper into blissful joy.

Hörn knew that whatever emotions she felt for the boy were nothing more than mere imitations of her Goddess's feelings, nothing more. Her Magic let her and Freya share a body, mind, and heart, and whatever Freya felt, she felt, and vice versa.

This arrangement didn't trouble her in the slightest. All she wanted was to become just like Freya, the sublime Goddess who saved her and gave her a new name and life, and when she received her Magic, it was like a dream come true.

She could become Freya herself! She could feel everything she felt, see and touch everything she did! And if Freya had to feel her emotions, too? Even better! For her Goddess should experience nothing more than her infinite devotion to her every whim!

Ottar and the others could rot for all she cared! Let them beat the shit out of each other and act like complete morons! Freya only needed her, and only her!

It was a beautiful arrangement, one that would have made her life meaningful. Until HE came…

It started with one powerful orgasm, one that made her buckle and nearly moan out loud in front of the rest of the executives as they gathered for a meeting. Before Ottar or (Heavens forbid) Allen could figure out what was wrong with her, she quickly ran from the conference room and barricaded herself before she felt the dry desert that was her vagina suddenly experience a heavy Monsoon season. Panties soaked, she gasped in horror as pleasure washed down her body like an avalanche, her thoughts suddenly awash with images of a harmless white-haired Adventurer.

After a thorough bath, she could only shiver in horror at the onslaught of pleasure she felt. Sure, as a Goddess of Beauty as well as Love and War, Hörn was no stranger to Freya's sudden lustful mood swings. Every now and then she would Charm the pants out of some poor mortal or God, and as a consequence of her Magic, she felt every single bit of pleasure her Goddess felt.

It was an unforeseen consequence of her deal with Freya, but it was something she would eventually tune out and ignore. Those bouts of sexual frenzy Freya would indulge in were few and far between, and they almost never last long. And it had been months since Freya last lusted after someone, the most recent being when she seduced a Desert Princess to her bed for a night, before sending her executives to win against an army of 40,000.

At first, she chalked it up to another one of Freya's fits, no doubt driven by her failure to convert that Desert Princess into a member of her Familia. But then as the days passed, more and more visions of that same white-haired rabbit showed up in her mind as well. And with it came…

Hörn had been cutting vegetables in the kitchen when the orgasms struck, and she nearly blew up the giant cauldron of stew by accident. Thankfully, she managed to wrestle control of herself before she could accidentally piss off Heith, and she ran off from the kitchens straight to her room to quietly moan in ecstasy. Though she had a hard time explaining to the maids why there were several puddles of a clear, sticky fluid leading from the kitchens to her room.

And a few days later, when she was instructing the maids on how to best prepare Freya's dress for the upcoming Denatus, another wave of powerful orgasms rocked her very being, this time occurring so suddenly that she was unable to stop herself from moaning loudly like a Hyena in heat. She could only weakly level a glare at the thoroughly embarrassed maids before she ran off to her room, the scene of that same boy accepting a home-cooked meal replaying in her mind.

Again and again, the orgasms continued. Again, and again, Hörn found herself succumbing to pleasure as her mind and heart were flooded with nothing but Bell Cranel.

The only times where she found any respite were the days where Freya acted as Syr, and only for a few hours could she find some sense of normalcy before Bell Cranel eventually showed up to accept a meal from her, making her once again collapse from ecstasy.

And when Bell Cranel defeated the Minotaur at Level 1? When Lady Freya witnessed his first steps as a Hero?

Well, the maids would later that day gossip about how Hörn's room stank like a fish market on a sweltering sunny afternoon…

Day in, day out, her mind was filled with Bell Cranel. Every breath she took in brought Bell Cranel's scent down her nostrils. Every meal she ate made her yearn for the taste of Bell Cranel's flesh, ESPECIALLY his thick, whipped cream. Every dream she had featured Bell Cranel, looking sexier than ever as he beckoned her to their shared bed.

Hörn was trapped in a purgatory of carnal pleasure. Freya had grown to love the boy so deeply that every fiber of her being thirsted for him. If Freya was the Sun, and Hörn the planet that circled her, Bell Cranel was the Black Hole that sucked them in and made them orbit around HIM.

And she couldn't fathom why. This went above and beyond any desires Freya had in the past. Even Ali didn't make her want to flood Orario in her creamy love. There was something about Bell that made Freya desire him on a level indescribable even to the Gods.

And to her horror, she found herself yearning for him as well.

Her dreams twisted, changed like a mold of clay. Where in her past fantasies Freya was the one being manhandled and succumbing to pleasure, it was now Hörn taking her place, squirming in place as Bell whispered sweet words of love and affection into her ear. Where Bell had massaged and touched Freya to her heart's content, he now gently caressed Hörn's curves, gently cupping her breasts and kneading them like dough. Where Bell had Freya sink to her knees as he brushed his fingers over her bright red button, he now carried Hörn to their shared bed, with her watching with bated breath as he tenderly removed her underwear and kissed her thighs, inching closer and closer to her virginal flower before extending his tongue and then…

It was madness! Blasphemy! A cardinal sin! Hörn had dedicated her very soul to the Goddess, and yet as the days passed she found herself yearning more and more for that sinful rabbit who led Freya astray! The more Bell Cranel interacted with Freya, the more she turned into a girly girl who couldn't turn off the faucet in her quivering cooch!

And the more she felt his love through Freya, the more she yearned for it too! Oh, the days when she would touch herself in her sleep, wanting nothing more than for that beautiful boy to cradle her! Oh, how she wanted to chew and suckle on his flesh till he was a dried up pulp! To take his length and suck his very soul out of him!

And the more she yearned for him, the more she HATED HIM!

This was not natural! She was supposed to be a pure Maiden dedicated to Freya and Freya alone! Not some troglodyte of an Adventurer too meek to stand up for himself, and too much of a dunderhead to completely miss Syr's attempts at seduction!

She hated Bell Cranel! She loved Bell Cranel! And she couldn't decide which side of her would prevail!

Was the love she held for Bell even her own feelings!? Or were they merely pitiful reflections of her Goddess's!?

If she cut Bell Cranel from her life, would she finally get rid of him and these damnable feelings!? Would Freya finally act like a Goddess again!?

Luckily for her, it was these contradictory feelings constantly battling each other in her heart that made Freya spare her in the end. As a Goddess capable of seeing the color of people's souls, all she could see deep inside Hörn's very being was a vortex of black and white. Different shades of darkness and light spinning and clashing together in an orgy of chaos.

Freya found herself fascinated by the sight, surprised at how radically the soul of her most loyal attendant had changed in such a short amount of time. Had the circumstances been different, she might have praised her introverted follower, but now? She was only a hair trigger away from summoning Allen and ordering him to take out the trash.

"Well?" Freya barked, waving Hörn's Status Sheet in front of her. "Care to explain this? Why you developed a Skill based on your LOVE for MY Odr?"

"G-goddess, I can explain!" Hörn yelped. "I-I swear on my name that I don't love him!"

A lie. And yet, not a lie. Freya felt a headache coming as a sentence laden with contradictions graced her ears. Paradoxically, Hörn was both lying and telling the truth to her, not a single falsehood present in her words, even though her Skill said otherwise.

"I-In fact, let me prove my worth to you! I-I can make it so that he'll pay attention to you! I can seduce him to you! Make him stop thirsting after that Sword Princess!" Hörn begged.

The Sword Princess. Just that title alone made Freya want to throw up. When she first met the girl nearly a decade ago, she quickly lost interest in her despite Loki's affections. After all, what was interesting about a girl who diddled herself to killing monsters?

She would have thought her as bad as Ottar and Allen, but at least those two didn't have the personality of a rock. If Aiz Wallenstein wanted to talk, she talked with the mindset of a child and the charm of a lobotomized Troll. She was just… bland. Boring. The only good part about her being her looks, which many other women easily matched or surpassed.

How typical of Loki, only caring about the outside and choosing mortals of questionable character on the inside.

And yet, that Potato-snack obsessed boulder managed to completely and utterly ensnare her beloved Odr right under her very nose! Oh, how she wanted to tie cinder blocks to that half-Spirit's feet and chuck her into a lake! The girl beat Bell half to death, all to just give him a lap pillow!? And it was so obvious that she had ulterior motives behind her actions!

And Bell's reward for wanting her affections? Getting the daylights kicked out of him for nearly a week! If that was the kind of training he needed, then she would have brought him to her Manor and have the City's strongest Adventurer give him some good training, where she would then nurture him in her bosom, no strings attached! All the lap pillows he could ever ask for!

Seriously! Out of all the women he had to fall in love with, why her!? There were so many better options out there!

Take her best friend for example! She's a natural blonde, is way cuter, is much more mature, and has the most luscious thighs out of any other mortal woman in all of Orario! Oh, if she didn't respect her so much, then she would have dragged her to bed and made her see stardust!

At the Hostess of Fertility, Ryu suddenly sneezed, before instinctively closing her legs as she dressed for work.

"What's wrong with you today?" Lunoire asked, noticing her odd behavior.

"I bet someone was talking about her luscious thighs again, nya!" Chloe said jokingly, drawing a flushed glare from the Elf.

"Chloe! T-that is highly inappropriate!" Ryu stammered. "A-and I don't have 'luscious thighs'!"

"Eh, but what about that weirdo customer we kicked out the other day, nya?" Anya responded. "The one who wanted to write a nyovel about how amazing your thighs were, nya?"

"That man was a pervert of the highest degree, and shouldn't be taken seriously in the slightest!" Ryu yelped. "Don't copy his behavior!"

"But even Syr agreed with thighs are to die for." Lunoire admitted with a shrug.

"Speaking of Syr, where is she? Off playing hookie again, nya!?"

"Said something about 'people-watching' again, whatever that means, nya."

Pushing her thoughts aside, Freya hummed in annoyance at the literal boulder blocking her path to taking Bell Cranel's virginity. Unfortunately, Aiz Wallenstein was strong, and her good looks and Familia were enough to make her hesitate in getting rid of her.

Sure, she could simply ask Allen to kill her, but then not only would Loki get pissed, but Bell would also be sad, and she can't have that! A happy rabbit hubby makes for a happy husband!

And a better chance at bringing Ryu to their bed!

But, if Bell was successfully seduced away from Aiz Wallenstein…

Sadly, 'Syr' wasn't having much success in getting Bell turned on, and with how much Ishtar has been watching her every move, she couldn't just swoop in and Charm his pants off as her Goddess self.

And it seemed that Bell just didn't prefer Goddesses. To completely ignore Hestia's chest like that either took a herculean effort, or a complete lack of interest on his part.

And as amusing as it would be to try and make Ryu seduce Bell, the poor Elf was even more sheltered than him, and would probably spend months or even years just to bring him into a forest to confess her love under the light of the full moon.

How utterly boring. Freya wanted her Rabbit, she wanted her Rabbit's carrot thrusting into her caverns, and she wanted it NOW!

And taking a look at Hörn, she could see the roots of an idea taking shape. If you took away the ugly perpetual scowl off her face, Hörn had an admittedly curvy figure, with ample breasts, a full ass, and wide hips. Sure, her personality could use a lot of work, but if she was serious about this plan of hers, then that was Hörn's issue to fix. All she needed to do was to seduce Bell Cranel and convince him that the Sword Princess was a poor choice as his wife. And eventually, she'll reward Hörn for her efforts by praising her efforts and letting her carry Bell's child while she, Ryu, and Bell tossed and turned in their shared bed, a ball of sweaty limbs as they shared their love and fluids together…

Ignoring Hörn's tortured expression as she found herself turned on by the scenario, she took one final look at the Status Sheet, and the miraculous Skill at the bottom.

Freya would be lying if she said she wasn't the least bit curious about that Skill's potential.

Left to her own devices, Hörn would potentially become the strongest Adventurer who ever lived. The ability to raise her Status based on her feelings, with the potential for faster growth? She would be a fool to deny her the opportunity,

After all, who best to guard Bell against any other hussies trying to get HER Odr?

Freya let out an exhausted sigh."Very well," she relented. "I'll let this 'plan' of yours proceed. But do be warned. Your job is to seduce him. To steer him towards ME. If you fall back to your murderous tendencies once more…"

She groped her breast, watching with little sympathy as Hörn twitched from the pleasure. "You will see what Hell really feels like when I'm done with you."

And so that was how Hörn found herself dressed up like a dainty village girl, fully stocked with flowers and a picnic basket filled with Freya's homemade meals. As agreed, the opportunity to slaughter, pardon, seduce Bell Cranel was hers for the taking, and so she followed her rabbit as he left his chapel with his party members.

But as he and his party made their way to the Dungeon, Hörn intercepted them at the Central Fountain. Ignoring the sharp pang of jealousy that burst from her heart at the sight of Bell being surrounded by those hussies, she pulled out her concealed dagger from her dress and rushed towards him!

Finally! She could finally be rid of these unwanted feelings in her heart! She could finally return to worshiping her Goddess, and not this lustful rabbit!

Sadly, one quick finger to Freya's divine womb sent that plan to the bottom of the ocean, and she stumbled into the arms of the person she both loved and despised, quivering and humping his thigh like a rutting dog!

And not once had Freya ceased her ministrations, making sure to edge herself and build up the inevitable climax threatening to burst down her dam, and Hörn prayed for forgiveness as she further entangled herself into Bell's body.

She'd die of shame if she climaxed here in the middle of the street!

As for the sinful rabbit himself, Bell was still utterly lost as the girl in his arms further increased her death grip on his body. Her barely restrained moans and heavy breathing made him more and more concerned for her well-being. He looked up to Welf for any help, but the blacksmith was just as confused by the girl's actions as he was.

Lili and Mikoto, however, seemed to recognize the muffled cries from his assailant and wore both concerned and disgusted expressions on their faces.

As the girl in his arms continued to writhe and moan, he decided that he had to disentangle themselves. He wasn't sure what was going on with her, but he couldn't just lay on the ground like that for the rest of the day!

"Um, Miss? C-could you please let go of me?" He asked kindly, but his voice only seemed to make her twitch and embrace him even tighter. When he failed to verbally persuade her to let go of him, he finally decided to use force.

Squeezing his hands between their bodies, he gently but firmly pushed her off of him.

Hörn internally panicked as she felt his firm, warm hands press against her stomach, unintentionally heightening her pleasure as his hands were placed a few inches away from her sopping wet flower! She had to stop him before he broke down her gates! She couldn't lose herself here!

And so she tightened her grip and forced herself to hug him even tighter, making sure she molded to his side!

But Bell's Luck Ability decided to kick in at that very moment. Right as Hörn pushed down to tighten the space between them, his hand had accidentally slipped due to how wet her dress was becoming, and it shot upward, from her stomach straight towards her chest.

And when his fingers slipped over her breast and accidentally flicked one of her rising peaks, Hörn's eyes widened in horror as her dam finally broke…

It was a quiet morning in the streets of Orario, as men and women of all races and sizes woke up to proceed with their daily lives. Grudgingly wiping the sleep from their eyes, they groaned as they prepared to start the new day.

All sense of sleepiness was soon wiped from their minds as a loud voice echoed across the streets.

Heads perked up, everyone was shocked to hear what might have been the loudest feminine moan they had ever heard in their entire lives.

No one was quite sure who caused it, or why someone decided to get it on so early in the morning.

But some Gods were quick to find out, and word began to spread. Soon, rumor turned to captivating story, and story quickly turned to legend. A Familia Myth that would make even Zeus proud.

The legend of how Bell Cranel, the Record Breaker, the Little Rookie, managed to shatter another record that very day by causing the City's largest and fastest orgasm ever witnessed.

Women everywhere were entranced and charmed by his exploits, and men everywhere turned green with envy.

Soon, the Gods christened the day as 'the Great Moaning', and eagerly came up with several different titles for him should he Level Up, many a favorite including titles such as 'Mr. Casanova'. 'Breeding Bunny', 'Horny Hare', and 'Harem Protagonist', just to name a few, much to the anger of a certain Goddess of the Hearth.

Of course, one Freya Familia member would viciously deny the events that had happened that day, and would threaten to castrate anyone who spread word of what happened including her involvement, but no one really cared.

""""""""…""""""""

Sequestered in a nearby alley and hidden by the shade were a group of 8 First-Class Adventurers, all of whom wore various looks of disgust and pity on their faces as they watched a member of their Familia unravel and let out a loud orgasmic moan that caught the attention of everyone in the vicinity, if not the entire city.

For once, Hogni was at a loss for words. No amount of chunni garbage he could voice out would ever convey the immense secondhand embarrassment he felt as he watched Hörn devolve into a twitching, sobbing mess as she fell face-first into Bell Cranel's chest, her white dress now completely soaked in her juices.

Hedin glared so viciously that his glasses cracked and shattered, a slew of barely restrained curses passing through his lips.

The Gulliver Brothers wanted to turn away from the abhorrent sight in front of them, but like a collision between two carts at high speeds, they couldn't help but watch with morbid curiosity.

Allen just wanted to throw up, run away, and for once take a leaf out of his sister's book by settling in for a long catnap.

Ottar sighed and respectfully turned his gaze away, pretending not to see his fellow Familia member relieve herself in public.

"Wow… I never thought I'd ever feel sorry for Hörn until now." Hogni muttered.

"Filthy whore… lustful piece of trash… how dare she tarnish Lady Freya's reputation… letting such obscene garbage spew from her mouth… has she no shame!?" Hedin muttered darkly.

"Damn, didn't know Hörn had it in her."

"But did she really have to flick the bean in the middle of the street like that?"

"Well, she always was a bit of a closet pervert."

"I don't think this really qualifies her as a 'closet' pervert anymore."

Each of the Gulliver brothers let out an exasperated sigh, shaking their heads in dismay.

"Fuck this, I'm outta here." Allen spat out. "I need a drink."

Ottar didn't have the heart to order him to stay, only closing his eyes as he gave a quick prayer to Freya for her forgiveness.

Freya Familia's reputation would take a hit once word got out that one of their members orgasmed in public. No doubt Ganesha Familia would try to slap a fine on Hörn for indecent public exposure, but that wasn't his concern for now.

Their main job was to ensure that Hörn didn't have any murderous ideas for her 'date', but it seemed that Lady Freya had taken care of that problem without their assistance.

Regardless of the embarrassing hiccup, phase 1 of the operation was a success. Now for the most difficult part of the plan: having Hörn ask Bell Cranel out on a date and eventually seduce him to Lady Freya's side.

Somehow, Ottar wasn't too excited about the odds of her success.

Hörn let out several shaky breaths, her entire body twitching from the severe aftershocks of her orgasm as she squirmed on top of Bell Cranel, who remained as motionless as a statue while his party members were too disgusted by her to even dare stay within a few feet from her.

Ignoring how she utterly soaked her dress and Bell's pants with her sparkling nectar, she unsteadily rolled herself off of Bell and lay on the ground next to him, her entire murder/seduction plan forgotten as she caught her breath. It wasn't until a couple minutes later that she finally understood the gravity of the situation.

Raising herself from the ground, she turned beet red as hundreds of people gathered around them, blushing up a storm or wolf-whistling in her direction. Several Gods had started to gossip amongst themselves, eager to spread the news.

Bell remained as motionless as ever, his body completely pale while the rest of his blood shot to his head. He wore a shocked expression on his face that remained frozen as he utterly failed to process the sight of a woman climaxing on top of him.

Welf and Mikoto weren't much better, their faces as red as Welf's hair as they tried to look anywhere else but the two of them, squirming on the spot.

And Lili? Though her face was just as red, her face wore a look of bloody murder, her entire body vibrating in place as a literal volcano finally erupted from her throat.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

…

…

…

…

The 5 of them could only stare at each other in immense embarrassment and barely restrained fury as they sat outside a local bath. Having showered and dressed themselves in new clothes, Hörn and Bell could only cast a quick glance at the other before turning away just as suddenly, faces redder than tomatoes.

Hörn had never felt more embarrassed and ashamed in her entire life. She had just orgasmed in public, and loudly too! She had debased herself in front of a crowd of hundreds! Gods have seen her give Bell a sprinkling shower, and now everyone will know that Hörn, Nameless, the ever devoted attendant of Freya herself, had jizzed all over Little Rooke like an Amazoness laced with a hundred aphrodisiacs!

There was no doubt now that her alias will change from 'Nameless' to 'Shameless' now!

'Grr! Damn you, Bell Cranel!'

Hörn quickly restrained her murderous feelings for the sinful rabbit in front of her, lest she earn Freya's ire once more. Taking several deep breaths to calm herself, she decided to avoid staring at him entirely and focus on the rest of his party, who were none too pleased with her presence.

Lili was the first to break the ice. "Okay, can someone explain to Lili what the hell just happened at the Fountain!? Y-you… you c-c-c-climaxed on top of Master Bell!" she exclaimed with a red face.

Bell let out an 'Eep!' and furiously blushed, mimicking the actions of Welf and the others at Lili's words.

Hörn wasn't much better, but she fought down her sense of shame and stared at the Prum with a heated glare.

"You will forget everything that has happened in the past few hours! What had happened was a freak of nature, a maelstrom of bad luck, a distortion in the space-time continuum!"

"""Huh!?"""

"A-anyways, purge this incident from your mind altogether! It was nothing more than a fever dream, and one not of my own volition!"

"But…"

"YOU. WILL. FORGET. EVERYTHING!"

Hörn's glare had turned so bloodthirsty that even Lili was forced to back down, and frankly no one was willing to remember the events that had happened earlier.

Well, except for Bell, but that's a topic for another day.

Giving a light cough, Bell fought down the blush on his cheeks and tried to give a welcoming smile. "W-well then, um, may I ask what's your name?"

"…Hörn."

Lili's eyes shot open. "Wait a minute… Hörn, as in Nameless!? Master Bell, she's from Freya Familia!"

'Somebody kill me now!' Hörn bemoaned on the inside. Now there's no way they'll ever forget what happened!

Bell's attention was thankfully grabbed by the mention of her Familia. "EH!? F-Freya Familia!? The one that reigns as the top of Orario alongside Loki Familia!? W-what do you need from me?"

Bell and the others were then surprised to see Hörn suddenly turn shy, her cheeks a brilliant scarlet as she twiddled her fingers together.

Cursing herself silently, she swallowed heavily before turning to Bell, smoke practically coming out of her ears.

"B-Bell Cranel!"

"Eep! Y-yes?"

"...Go out with me…" she muttered quietly.

"I'm sorry?"

Stupid rabbit!

Hörn grabbed his collar and shoved their faces closer together, their lips only a few centimeters apart.

"Go out on a date with me!"

"EEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!?"

Meanwhile, at a certain pub…

Ryu kicked out a familiar customer onto the streets, her cheeks dyed red from his comments once again.

"For the last time, sir. If you continue to harass the staff then we have no choice but to kick you out!"

"B-but my novel! I need to see more of your luscious thighs! Oomph!"

A punch to the face by Mamma Mia herself sent him flying across the streets.

"Go be a pervert somewhere else, idiot! Sheesh, we always get the weirdos here…" Mia cursed as she turned around. "Alright, quit your lollygagging and get back to work."

"Yes…" the other ladies groaned. Ryu was just about to follow them inside when a sudden jolt of electricity raced down her spine.

"!"

"? What's up with ya, nya?" Anya asked.

"I don't know why, but I have a feeling that Mr. Cranel's chastity is in danger!"

"Huh!?"

"Wait, where are you going!?" Lunoire yelled as Ryu suddenly took off into the streets.

"No time to explain! I must protect Mr. Cranel's virginity! F-for Syr, of course!" She hastily replied with a red face, before dashing off into the sunset.

"This dumb Elf!"

"What is she even going on about, nya!?"

And at the same time, two other Elves would soon begin their journey to hunt down and feast on their delectable rabbit…

Holy shit…

Not gonna lie, this was by far the most difficult story I have ever written today. After all, this was originally supposed to be a one-shot crack fic and now I had to expand it into a full story. I wasn't lying when I said that I suck at writing comedy, and the reason why this next chapter took so long was because I tried my hardest to write something entertaining for you guys. I deleted and restarted 15 different drafts for this chapter, and the one you're reading right now had to be cut and edited multiple times before I was satisfied.

I do hope that you guys found some enjoyment from this chapter, as honestly I'm still not happy with how it turned out. I'd appreciate any feedback or suggestions you guys have, as well as any recommendations for fics that are comedic in nature for inspiration. Don't want to make the humor go stale.

Thank you as always for your patience, and for your love for this crazy drug trip of a story lol.

Have a Happy Halloween everyone! Please be safe out there!