Series title: Whumptober 2023

Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Maura Isles / Jane Rizzoli / Paddy Doyle

Trigger warnings: None

A/N: The characters and universe don't belong to me. All rights go to TNT, and everyone involved in the production of Rizzoli and Isles, as well as Tess Gerritsen. Everything else belongs to my twisted imagination.

A/N2: Second part of "It's okay just to say 'I'm not okay'."

All of these stories are only meant to be one-shots, but many have asked for more. They are written as part of the 2023 Whumptober challenge. I'm following the list of prompts and didn't intend to write second parts for any of the one-shots. That's why they're all posted separately.

It had been six months. Six months since Hoyt trapped Jane in the infirmary prison. Six months since Jane killed Hoyt. Six months since Jane was told that Maura had been one of Hoyt's apprentices. Six months since Jane asked for a leave from Homicide for an indeterminate amount of time. Six months since Maura's heart was shattered to pieces.

She had done that to herself, really. Charles Hoyt had lured her into his plans. She was just like him, he had said. They had had similar childhoods. She was a lonely child neglected by her parents. Not that they didn't love her, but she never asked for much, and in the end, they had sent her away. And she had grown to become everything Hoyt loved. She was cold, detached, professional. She had climbed the social ladder rather quickly thanks to her parents' name. And when she had been named Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, he had made sure she would be working with the precinct where Jane Rizzoli was a Homicide detective.

She had never killed anyone for him. Her mission was only to scare Jane, to set her on edge for Hoyt to find her when she would have lost her mind. At first, it was easy to work with Boston Homicide. Her colleagues were calling her names. She was ignoring them. She had been ignoring taunts and names all her life. But when Jane Rizzoli came in the picture, it all became different. Maura had seen a strong woman fighting unimaginable demons behind closed doors. A strong woman that had held a hand out to her, that had placed a great trust in her. Jane had quickly become a close friend. The first friend she had ever had. She had changed her into a better version of herself. Because of that, she had stopped following the instructions Hoyt gave her before he was arrested and thought no one would ever know. Until he decided to go after them both and reveal the truth.

He had wanted her to kill Jane herself to punish her for going against him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She would never forget the look of hurt on her friend's face when Hoyt had revealed that she was an apprentice of his, that she had been placed as medical examiner in Boston only to always have eyes on her. She had grown so close to Jane that she could have hurt her a hundred times. That was what he wanted. That was what she could never do. And it had come back to her face.

Jane had left a note in her apartment for her mother and brothers. She hadn't said a word about Maura, hadn't even instructed her family to get away from her. She had just told them that she would be travelling for some time. With Hoyt's death, she needed some off time to refocus on herself and on her career. Nothing more. Not even a warning. She was covering the friend who had betrayed her, and Maura chose to believe that Jane still trusted her deep down. She hadn't tried to warn her family against her. She hadn't even said a word about her or left a note for her. Maybe Jane just hoped that she would be gone by the time she came back to Boston. Or maybe she didn't intend to come back at all. No. Jane wouldn't leave Boston. It was her home. All her life was there. Maura should be the one leaving, but she couldn't resolve herself to leave the first place that ever felt like home.

Maura had never stopped looking for Jane, but as a cop, the detective had learnt how to live under the radar. Maura would like to say that she wanted to find Jane for her family who was worried sick about her (Jane hadn't given any news to them since she was gone, and it wasn't like her to do so) but it was mostly for her own benefit. Her life was devoid of all interest now. By losing Jane, she had lost herself. She was back to her old habits, back to being the Ice Queen with barely any interaction with her colleagues anymore. People were worried about that setback in her personality but most of them just knew that Jane was the better part of her. And that part was gone with her darkest secret. If she had to be honest with herself (and she was nothing but honest now), Maura would say that she was terrified because she was just the same as when Hoyt had recruited her.

Hoyt had promised her information about her biological parents in exchange for her services. Information that he never had. He had only used her, her gullibility, her need for love and a family to serve his own purposes. Jane had given her a family and friends without even asking for anything in return. Jane had helped her when she found out that her biological father was a criminal, a killer and had soothed her fears of ever being like that man. She had never killed anyone, but she had wanted to sometimes. Maybe Hoyt was right in the end, maybe she was born a killer as well.

Her bond with Doyle (and his unconditional love and need to protect her) had been helpful in looking for Jane. She had contacted him after a month without Jane and he had promised her that he would keep an eye open, that he would use all his connections to find his daughter's friend, even if said friend was a cop. Maura had used her own connections and run a real investigation throughout the whole country. She had pieced together all the tiny bits of information she could get until finally, finally, she could pinpoint a location. Someone vaguely looking like Jane had last been seen in Barstow, California. The picture was blurry, and the woman had physically changed to be unrecognisable, but Maura would have recognised her anywhere. She had packed some clothes and left for a three days long road trip across the country.

Barstow was a small town lost in the Mojave Desert that happened to be on the mythical Road 66. It was different from Boston. Quieter. What was Jane doing here, hundreds of miles away from her home? She had been born and raised in Boston. She knew nothing else but that big city. Why would she have lost herself in Barstow? It would have been much easier to hide in a bigger city.

Her investigation led her to a vintage café. It wasn't the kind of places she would go to in normal circumstances. She hadn't been raised in such surroundings. She had a higher standing because of her education. But then, she had met Jane and she had started going to places with a lesser standing, and it was so much better and funnier.

She walked up to the counter. A young woman gestured to her that she would take care of her in a couple minutes as she was already busy with another customer. Maura pulled the blurry picture out of her pocket and smoothed the creases she had created by repeatedly pulling in and out. Her hear ached. She missed her friend so much.

"Hello, miss. What can I do for you?"

The young woman had a large smile and kind eyes. Maura couldn't help but smile back at her as she slipped the blurry picture on the counter for the waitress to have a look at it.

"Hi. I'm looking for my friend. Her name is Jane. I was told that she was around here."

Her heart dropped in her chest when all colours faded from the waitress' face. She knew Jane without a doubt, and she had seen her recently. It meant Jane could still be around.

"Your friend belongs to Pavel Vasilyev," she murmured.

"Where can I find him?"

"Forget about her. She's lost."

"Listen, I've been looking for her for months now. I don't care if she's in the hands of some psychopath. I'm gonna find her, with or without your help."

The waitress remained silent for a moment. She was observing Maura who was dead serious. She wouldn't give up on her friend. For once, she had been like Jane: she had followed her gut and started looking for her friend. She had been right. Jane apparently was in serious troubles.

The waitress finally gave in and gave her an address (after checking her surroundings twice to be sure no one was listening). Vasilyev had several addresses around town, but only one where he was keeping his girls. Maura clenched her teeth at the qualifying and possessive term. His girls. It was about time to do something against that man who was scaring everyone.

The house was abandoned. Maura wondered for a moment if she hadn't been fooled, but her instinct, the very same that had pushed her to look for Jane, told her to go inside. She hated it, going solely on instinct but so far it had proved to be efficient.

The place was silent. She could only hear her footsteps on the creaking wooden floor. No one was home. She touched the gun tucked in her belt (a gift from her father that she had been reluctant to take at first) to reassure herself as she walked through the building. It looked abandoned from the outside, but it was obvious that people had been living here recently.

A whimper drew her attention downstairs. She pulled the gun out of her belt and followed the sound. It was louder with every step she took. It was dark but she couldn't switch on a light. She couldn't take the risk to be found nosing around in a house she had broken in.

She eventually reached a slightly open door. The whimpers were coming from that room, as well as a strong mix of urine, blood, sweat and musty smells. She scrunched up her nose and pushed the door open. Inside the room, she could see a candle giving off a soft glow, a bucket, a dirty and bare mattress and on that mattress...

"Jane!"

Maura rushed in the room. Her friend was curled up on a mattress. She made herself as small as possible when she heard her voice. Something jingled with her every movement, and Maura found out that Jane's ankles and wrists were trapped in heavy shackles.

Jane was different from the last time Maura had seen her in that prison, different event from the crumpled picture in her pocket. Her hair was shorter, tangled in dirty blonde locks (the bastard had cut her hair and coloured it!) and she was thinner. Her cheeks were hollow, her dark eyes were lost in the dark circles surrounding them and her skin, that hadn't seen the light of day in weeks according to its pallor, wore dark shades of blue, purple and yellow.

"Please don't hurt me," she croaked.

"I have come to help you, Jane."

Jane hesitated before looking up to be sure she wasn't hallucinating. Maura gave her the time to observe her before she tried to free her from her shackles.

"What're you doing here?"

"You've been gone for six months. Everyone's worried."

"Have you come to finish the job?"

"We'll talk about that later. Let's get you out of here first."

"Try with that."

Maura turned around at the sound of a male voice. A bunch of keys landed near her. Paddy Doyle was standing in the doorway.

"You've followed me?"

"Did you really think I would let my daughter go alone on Vasilyev's territory? Hurry up. We have to get out of here before they come back."

Maura grabbed the keys and tried them all until she found the right one. She threw the shackles away and helped Jane up. Her legs trembled from the lack of use, but she still took a hesitant step before collapsing in Maura's arms. She tried to push her away.

"Take it easy, Jane."

Her steps were hesitant, clumsy. They wouldn't go far with how weakened she was, and Maura couldn't carry her. Doyle stepped in and scooped the detective in his arms. Jane weakly fought him but couldn't do anything in her condition.

They all rushed outside and straight to Maura's car that was parked a few houses away to avoid suspicions. Doyle dropped his bundle on the back of the car while Maura climbed in the front. She started the car.

"Go back to Boston. Don't stop in hotels, make sure no one can recognise you. I'll cover your back."

Maura nodded and left quickly. She didn't trust Doyle, but he had helped her to find Jane and to get her out of that house. She owed him one. Jane was curled up on the back seat, crying. She didn't try to run away, didn't say anything. Maura kept looking in the rearview mirror to check on her friend as they were driving far away from Barstow...