Chapter 6

Some may say that sulking is childish.

I'd like to tell those people to screw off; I'm not in the mood for being mature.

Why?

So apparently I wasn't really as "emancipated" as I thought. I'd just assumed that the word meant the same thing as it did in my old world, but it seems that "emancipated" actually meant just living in an apartment separate from your guardian, who was more like what I would call a "Patron", and who would pay for you and take responsibility of your actions, both your successes and failures, until you were an adult.

You were an adult when you turned 17, a la Wizarding World, but also could become a legal adult when you graduate from the academy if the Hokage permitted it. Actually, the Hokage could adult-ify you at any point in time, if he so wanted, but none had done so before the child had at least graduated the academy.

The child's official guardian could employ another to do the daily checkups and to do most of the actual raising of the child, but the guardian did visit occasionally. Usually, the visits were more for a summary of the child's progress and not out of particular fondness or desire to spend with them though, so it really felt more like having a benefactor than an actual guardian.

I learned most of this when talking to Inoichi, who was now my official guardian, as he introduced me to my daily caretaker.

"– so, this Daisuke-san will be checking up on you every morning and making dinner for you in the evening," He finished, smiling down at me.

I looked at Daisuke, a twenty-something-year-old Yamanaka, and tsked in annoyance.

I didn't need a babysitter, for Kami's sake. I was perfectly capable of living on my own.

"I thought I was getting my own apartment," I said instead.

"You are, Daisuke-san will just be living next door in case you need any help," Inoichi said, waving at the apartment next door.

I pouted.

I was ignored.

"Here, why don't I give you a tour of your new apartment, Akira-chan?" Daisuke-san said, smiling and motioning towards the door of apartment 24, my new temporary abode.

As much as I wanted to say no, just to be contrary, I nodded. I had to get inside at some point (I can't just stand outside the apartment forever, Inoichi might just try and take me to his home if I tried) and the faster I complied the faster I would be left alone for the afternoon.

Inoichi took one of the two keys he had in his hand, turned to me, and said, "Here, Akira-chan, why don't you open the door? This is your key, you'll need it to get in and out, so don't lose it."

"Thanks," I said, which made Inoichi's eyes sparkle with pride... before I ruined the moment by saying, "I had no idea how a key worked, good thing you told me."

I slipped the key in quickly and turned the handle forcefully. I remembered how old doors and locks were finicky and got stuck easily from my old life, so I didn't embarrass myself by messing up after my snarky joke. That would have been embarrassing.

I didn't look back, but Inoichi didn't seem to be bothered by my comment (his chakra stayed steady) but I could feel Daisuke's ripple with shock and a tad bit of indignity, but he stayed quiet about it.

I had opened the door to a decent sized, though not enormous, western style room. There was a kitchen in the right corner, which was directly in front of the door, with a counter boxing the area off and cupboards built into the bottom of it. Some more cupboards were hanging on the walls in the kitchen area, while shelves were built into the walls of what looked to be a cross between a dining and living room area, which had a sofa with a side table and a table and chairs for dinning. There were two doors leading off to the left, both cracked open enough for me to realize that they led to a bathroom and a bedroom.

"Well, as you can see it comes fully furnished, but while it does come with some kitchen utensils you might want to – Hey! Wait!" Daisuke said as I started to walk into the room to get a better lay of the land. I froze, foot still midair, on instinct, but put it down and glowered when I realized how silly I looked.

"What now?" I snapped.

"You need to take your shoes off!"

I looked down at my slightly dusty sandals and back at Daisuke. Right, I forgot about the thing Japanese people had about indoor and outdoor shoes, especially since the apartment was western and didn't have that little step up to the main floor that would have reminded me. Back with my aunt and uncle, I had gotten into the habit of never taking off my shoes in case I needed to make a break for it… I mean really, if I didn't know if I was staying or if I was safe why would I? It's a liability I didn't need in my life.

I shrugged and started to walk again, "Whatever, it's not like my feet are much cleaner anyway."

Daisuke stepped in front of me and said, "No, it's not polite to walk ar–"

"Not polite? Who am I trying to be polite to? Myself? This is my apartment right?" There was a slight nod so I continued on, arms crossed and frown in place, "So if I'm not insulted by it, it doesn't matter. You can keep yours on for all I care."

Daisuke just frowned slightly and nodded. "OK, I guess you can walk around with shoes if you want," He conceded, though his face showed how much he liked that idea, "so long as you don't do it in other people's houses."

"Sure. Sounds reasonable," I drawled. I didn't like his 'if you do this you can do that' attitude, too parental for me, but it wasn't like I was planning on doing things differently anyway (nor was I really planning on visiting anyone point blank, so joke's on him).

He stepped aside and let me poke around, giving little bits of information as I went.

My first stop was the kitchen where I checked the cupboards to see what I had. I listened as I rooted around.

"So, in general, there are no pets allowed, but there are exceptions for summons– but you should talk to me for more details if you ever get one, but that's, well, you know."

I think the word he was looking for was "unlikely", but why he didn't just say so is a mystery. It's not like it's anything insulting.

"Pets in cages or tanks are usually okay too, but you should also tell me before you get one so I can make sure you know how to take care of it, and plants are fine."

I had found where things were placed in the kitchen and decided I needed to rearrange things later. I mean, why were the plates over the stove and the pots under the sink? That made no sense!

I moved to the living room next.

"You'll need to get some toiletries and groceries though. I can get you some this time since you just got here, but you'll have to start taking care of that on your own soon so you should come with me to see how it's done."

I turned away from the shelves after making sure they were nice and sturdy and said, "I don't need to learn. I already know how to do that," I pressed my hand into the couch cushions (slightly lumpy but not bad) and scanned the fabric, looking for stains. Then said, "If you just show me where the shops are, or give me a map, I can do it myself."

"How did you learn that?" Inoichi asked.

I remembered all the times my mother – my real mother from my old life – taught me how to take care of myself. Hundreds of moments flitted through my mind in an instant: a soft hand leading me through the grocery store, a scolding voice and a spilled and made puddle of soup, a back turned and a hand stirring something on the stove… but I shut it out. The pain of loss was a constant weight on my chest, but I hadn't been dragged down by my grief, and I was going to keep it that way.

Instead, I said, "Uh, I'm not stupid, I have eyes," and continued on my inspection.

I put my hand on the table and chairs, wiggling slightly to see if anything was loose or wobbly, before moving on to quickly glance around the bathroom. Clean, if I bit cramped, and no window but it did have a fan so I wouldn't be in danger of having a moldy ceiling.

"Ok then, I'll take you this afternoon. When do you want to go?" Daisuke said, tone slightly incredulous, and took a few steps forward so as to keep me in sight when I dipped into the bedroom, checking the bed. A little old so the springs were stiff and made the bed slightly lumpy, but wasn't too bad since it smelled fresh. The sheets were passable, but not 100% cotton from the feel of it (cotton sheets are far superior to any other, I had learned in my previous life) and the blanket was thick and warm, and a decent shade of dark green.

"I can go now," I said, checking the linen closet in my room and finding only one extra blanket and pillow, without a pillowcase, and opening the drawers of the dresser, which, weirdly enough, was actually quite new looking. Maybe the old tenant had broken the old one and the landlord had replaced it.

I walked back to the two men and started to think of the list of things I needed.

Essentials: shampoo, soap, towel, trash bags, detergent, etc.

Non-essentials: set of sheets, new clothes, hairbrush (there wasn't much hair on my head so a brush wasn't really necessary, just nice to have)

Groceries: Rice, vegetables (let's see what looks good and cheap), meat? If it's not too expensive, eggs, milk…

"I'll leave you two to it then," Inoichi said, leading us to the door, "I have some work to do before dinner – Oh! Why don't you and Daisuke-san join us for dinner when you're done shopping?"

"Oh, we wouldn't want to intrude Inoichi-sama," Daisuke said quickly. It seemed Daisuke and I were finally on the same page, and I nodded in agreement.

"Oh no, it's no trouble at all! We're going to Chouza's house, along with Shikaku and his family, so there will be plenty of food. They won't mind at all, I'm sure of it," He said, with a smile (and I'm nearly 100% sure I wasn't imagining the evil undertones of that smile, especially when he saw my visible annoyance when he mentioned his teammates).

"Well, in that case, thank you, Inoichi-sama, we would love to," Daisuke said with a small smile on his face.

"Don't put words in my mouth, I never said that," I muttered, glowering darkly at him.

I was ignored.

Again.

Was this how it was for all little kids? Having your opinions ignored and your person dragged around by adults? Screw this, I can't wait till I'm an adult again…

Again...

GAH! Can I just say that this whole being reborn thing was weird? I don't think I've said that enough.

Weird.

Weird, weird, weird, WEIRD.

Ok, that's enough for now, but let's not forget that this is (say it with me now) WEIRD.

"Great! See you at 5:30*," Inoichi responded and with a wave, he was gone.

Daisuke and I stood there for a second, staring at each other awkwardly, before I sighed in defeat and said, "Ok then, shopping it is then. Ready to go?"

Daisuke was impressed with my frugality but kept on trying to get me to buy more things or change what I was buying. He fought me on everything from the detergent ("There's hardly a difference, why does it matter?") to my chicken ("I know how to cook a whole chicken… No, I don't care if chicken breasts are easier I want to use the bones to make a broth… Yes, I'm sure I'll be fine! I've done it a hundred times!").

He had even dragged me into a hair salon, where the hairstylist had cut almost all my hair off into a generic short hairstyle, with all the hair barely two centimeters long and just letting my hair fall in it's natural part off to one side. It was actually quite nice, and I was pretty happy when it came time to pay. When we started to pay, however, she ordered me not to go cutting my own hair again and sternly referred to me as "young man", so I cut in and corrected her. She was flabbergasted, and just couldn't understand why a little girl would do that to her own hair, then looked apologized profusely for cutting all my hair off. I told her it was fine, and that I actually liked it, which just seemed to confuse her even more.

It was hilarious.

I left the shop grinning and running my hand through my hair.

Being confused for a boy was hilarious for me, but in the back of my mind annoyed me. Why was everyone so sexist here? Kids I understood, but the adults were just pitiful. There were kunoichis here, badass and ass-kicking female shinobi, so how did this stuff persevere? How did having short hair and wearing pants automatically equal male? Having such strict gender norms was just stupid, harmful, and restrictive.

Daisuke broke me out of my thoughts before I could get really annoyed.

"You could buy nicer clothes you know?" He said as we walked back to my apartment, his arms full with all the bags minus two, as he wouldn't let me carry anymore.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, I did hear you – and that nosy shopkeeper – the first time around. But as I said I don't need nicer clothes. I'll be going to the academy, which involves plenty of fighting and roughhousing, I assume, so I need comfortable, cheap clothes. Plus, I got some nicer stuff too! It's enough," I argued.

It was true! I didn't even think I needed to buy more than a few shirts and a new pair of paints, but Daisuke was having none of that, and now I had about ten times as much stuff as I needed. I had half a dozen normal black, blue, and army green t-shirts, a few grey long sleeves, a new grey sweatshirt with the kanji for fire on the left side of my chest, two new pairs of black cargo pants plus some thick, pale grey bandages to tie the ends of them down.

And that was after I had managed to talk Daisuke down!

He had wanted me to get almost twice as much, including some skirts and dresses, but I had firmly opposed that. If I hadn't, I would have been expected to wear one to dinner tonight, or anytime I went out, and I wasn't planning to do that in this lifetime.

"But, don't you want to look nice on your first day of school?" He pushed.

I just snorted at that, "No, what's so special about a first day? Everyone is going to see me in normal clothes every day for the next however-many years, so why postpone it a day?" Even after about 6th grade, in my old life, school had lost its charm and I had stopped looking forward to my first day so I was way, way past the point of caring.

Daisuke looked worried, or mildly disturbed depending on how I looked at him, so I said, "But really, my clothes are nice, so I will look nice on my first day no matter what."

He seemed a bit happier with that answer.

We walked the rest of the way in silence, and I let us into my new apartment. Daisuke helped me and put things away in the fridge while I flitted around putting things away and rearranging the cupboards. We worked quickly since it was almost time for dinner (kill me now) and he left me alone, with strict orders to get clean and change into something nice.

I told him to stop ordering me around and get ready himself, but he just repeated his order (in a stern voice, as if that changed anything) and left.

I tried not to fidget as we approached Chouza's house.

I knew that picking at my clothes would only make things worse, but I felt flighty at the thought of entering the visual range of the Nara clan head, whose gaze always seemed to carry more weight than either of his friends. If anyone in this world could figure out all my secrets it was that guy.

I knew I looked presentable since I had changed into my new clothes, choosing a black shirt with a grey shirt underneath and wrapping the ends of my new pants up nicely. Plus, with my new haircut and clean face, I probably looked better than any of them had ever seen me before, but that was just a fraction of what Shikaku would be looking at when he saw me.

Would he think about my family, look for signs of emotional and physical abuse? Would he look and my bare feet, after I had taken off my shoes (I hadn't forgotten my promise!) and see the callouses from walking for over three months straight? Would he look at my body language, analyze my words…

God, I hated how smart that man was.

In the end, I guess I was lucky I was under Yamanaka surveillance and not Nara, because they would drive me up the wall.

I kept my hands in my pockets to prevent any nervous movements and waited for the door to open. When it did, we were ushered in by a large woman in a purple cheongsam (that reminded me of Tenten's) and orange eye shadow who introduced herself as Choharu-san. A second later, after I adjusted to the clashing bright colors, I noticed she had short dark hair like mine, which, of course, I approved of immensely.

Daisuke nudged me so I looked up at him, but then glowered when I saw him making a show of taking off his shoes. It was completely unnecessary; There was an enormous pile of them right in front of my toes that only an idiot or a blind man would miss it. Actually, Ossan wouldn't have missed it either, so only a stupid blind man would miss it, and I took mine off while giving Daisuke the evil eye.

"You're right on time; Dinner is almost ready and everyone is in the living room," Choharu said with a smile, as she stepped into the kitchen and motioned for us to continue into the next room.

Daisuke stayed a step behind me and practically herded me into to living room, so I walked through the doorway first and took the brunt of the stares.

Shikamaru was lying on the floor in the middle of the room and Chouji and Ino were sitting down next to him, while the adults sat around them and off to the side a bit. Everyone, including the lazy Naras, turned towards me and it took all of my self-control not to fidget.

Chouza was the first to speak, and got up and greeted us in a jolly tone, "Welcome! I'm Akamichi Chouza, nice to meet you."

Daisuke mirrored his bow and said, "Nice you meet you, I'm Yamanaka Daisuke."

Chouza looked at me expectantly.

Wait, was I supposed to introduce myself? Seriously? He knew who I was, so why the hell did we have to play this little name game?

I gave him an annoyed look and just said, "Saito Akira."

Shikamaru's mom – Yoshino was her name I think – was smiling while her husband was just staring at me intently. Inoichi's wife, whose name I couldn't remember ever learning, was smiling placidly like her husband.

"Nice to officially meet you, Akira-chan," Shikaku drawled, "I'm Nara Shikaku, and this is my wife, Yoshino."

"Nice to meet you," Yoshino said.

"And my son, Shikamaru," He continued, motioning to Shikamaru, who just stared at me with beta-Nara stare (all the languidness, half the razor-sharp intelligence) as if too lazy to do anything else. I turned and stared back, raised an eyebrow at his persistent silence, and turned back to his parents in dismissal. Cheeky brat, but chibi-Shikamaru wasn't going to do anything now, too "troublesome" I'd wager. Still too lazy and immature to be dangerous to me, though in a couple of years… Yeah, I'd better just start avoiding him now. Never can be too careful.

"And I'm Yamanaka Izumi, you've already met my husband. You saw my daughter, Ino-chan, briefly but I don't think you were introduced," She said, waiving her hand gracefully towards the little blond on the floor, which might have been a hint for Ino to introduce herself.

She just glared at me in defiance. I raised both eyebrows at that and let a little amused smirk creep out. Little itty-bitty kitty thinks she got claws. How cute.

"Ino! Introduce yourself," Her mother said sternly, voice still elegantly pitched and demeanor peaceful despite the scolding tone.

"Come on princess, don't be scared. I don't bite." I said, in the most patronizing way possible.

"I'm NOT," She said, face flushed with embarrassment, "I'm not– I… I'm Ino!" She finally declared.

I snickered.

"Come on Akira, be nice," Inoichi said.

I just stared at him. He did his best 'I'm-very-serious' face.

Everyone looked at me.

"That was nice –" Inoichi raised an eyebrow, I continued, "–for me."

I'm an adult woman reborn and currently being held prisoner in a city of deadly warriors: I'll keep my head down, but I'm allowed to be not so "nice". We are not going to be friends.

I'm not going to cause unnecessary conflict – especially with the main characters – but I'm not going to let any of them get attached. I am NOT going to be their friend.

Daisuke sighed, "I'm sorry, she's very…" He tried to find a word.

"Rude? Snarky? Nasty? Bitc–" I supplied.

"Stubborn." He stressed as his hand slid across my mouth just in time to muffle me.

An awkward, pregnant pause followed that made me want to chuckle. Oh, they are definitely not inviting me back here for dinner anytime soon.

Chouza cleared his throat and, in an attempt to steer the conversation back on track said, "Well, the last person you have to meet is my son, Chouji."

Chouji looked very unhappy to be called on at this moment and froze (in fear or maybe surprise? My money is on the former).

Daisuke seemed to have learned something from his afternoon with me and didn't move his hand after the introduction, so I just gave a jaunty salute to the boy, letting them all assume the gesture was mocking.

In reality, I didn't have any desire to mess with Chouji, but no one needed to know that. He was a genuinely sweet and uncommonly kind boy, if memory serves, and all the kids (minus Shikamaru) already bullied him. As much as I enjoyed messing with people, I didn't enjoy kicking a man when their down. So, there was no way I could kick this adorably fluffy little puppy. Sorry, not quite that heartless… Yet.

Chouharu chose that moment to call us to the table, "Dinners ready! Come on in."

I followed the Ino-Shiko-Cho families in, with Daisuke still herding me with his hand on my mouth. We followed a couple of steps behind, and he reluctantly removed the appendage from my face as he sighed.

"Could you try to not be so rude? We're guests here," He pleaded softly right before we entered the dining room.

"Nope. Get used to it."

I left full and a little sleepy.

Dinner was delicious and went about much better than the living room scene did.

Chouharu was an amazing cook – way better than my stupid aunt – and I thoroughly enjoyed every tasty morsel, happy to stay quiet and eat.

Everyone seemed to have realized that any attempt to draw me out of my shell would backfire and collectively agreed that leaving me alone with some dumplings would be best for everyone involved.

The kids eventually learned to ignore me too. They talked and bickered among themselves, while I lurked in the corner and listened to everyone's conversations.

I didn't hear anything interesting, just some mundane catching up from the parents and some really stupid arguing from the kids.

Daisuke escorted me home and sent me inside my apartment threatening me (or telling me, from his perspective) that he would come to see me at 9 am tomorrow. I thought about telling him to beat it, to eat ass, or some other excellent and witty profanity but then realized who I was.

Argue? With an idiotic 20-year-old man-child? Please.

I would just sneak out of the apt tomorrow morning before 9.

Thank you for the info, my boy. I thought as I shut the door in his face.

This became our routine for the next week or so. My first semester at the academy was going to start soon, and Daisuke wanted to get me prepped, trained and socialized for my classes. I wanted to be left alone.

Daisuke didn't stand a chance.

Most days I just snuck out of the apartment and explored the village in the morning – mapping out all the dangerous spots to avoid (especially a certain ramen shop and apartment belonging to a certain blond orphan).

Daisuke eventually would find me, home turf advantage and all that, and would try to drag me to my lessons or to meet other academy kids. He even tried to drag me to the playground to meet with the mini ino-shika-cho. Absolutely not.

Daisuke had to admit defeat. Eventually, he actually offered for me to "self-study" with the books he had prepared for our lessons. Some were so easy I wanted to cry from boredom (instead I just took a nap) but some were actually interesting. Books on chakra control and manipulation were the best.

Before now, I had been experimenting on my own with no pointers or directives, just meditating and stretching my abilities as I could. It had helped that I remembered some information from my previous life, but Shinobi didn't let information spread easily and kept a tight leash on anything even remotely related to their training.

One of the only benefits of going to the academy was that the information was finally accessible to me. Most notable for me was the information on accessing your own chakra reserves.

I had been training stretching my senses as I had walked, but I had never even attempted to touch my own chakra. As I read, I realized that I hadn't even tried to sense my own chakra. Anytime I had started to sense my own chakra, I had immediately turned my focus outward and started sensing people around me. It was a massive oversight on my part (or perhaps a traumatic, need-based decision… but let's not be Debbie Downers, shall we?).

I turned to the leaf exercise. Sitting on the roof of my apartment – there was a small, flat section that I could spend a couple of hours sitting on undisturbed – I tried to get a leaf to stick to my hand.

Touching my chakra turned out to be like catching a bar of soap in a bath. Every time I tried to close my hands around it, is shot out of my grasp. Unlike Naruto, my chakra didn't come out of me in powerful waves. If I tried to grab and pull at my chakra too quickly – zoom, poof, zip, gone. It just disappeared, either snapping back into my body or dissipating like smoke. The leaf was completely unaffected.

My progress was slow, but I found that a gentler approach worked better for me. If I slowly and gently pulled at it, I could channel a little into the leaf. By the end of each session though, the leaf would stick to my hands from sweat alone. I could rarely, if ever, get it to stick with chakra alone.

On a particularly disappointing afternoon, I lay back and stared up at the sky. I had taken off my new hoodie because I had started sweating from the exertion of the chakra exercises, and I needed a break. My green shirt and taken-on sweat marks like a panda, and it was not cute. I let the wind ruffle my hair and begin the drying process on my clothes.

As I glowered up at the early spring sky, I pondered my options. It seems like I was not blessed with a talent for powerful jutsu, and honestly, a small part of me was disappointed. My scowl deepened, scratch that, a BIG part of me was disappointed. As much as I wanted to pretend I wasn't, I was disappointed with my progress.

I had succeeded at everything I had put my mind to in this life – I had used my years and wisdom to train efficiently and had picked up the skills I wanted easily. Sure, I had to work at it, but I had been exceptionally successful all things considered.

I thought of the radiant chakra I had felt from Naruto. (I had felt it only occasionally since the first time in the orphanage, and had immediately hidden or run to avoid his path.) His chakra felt nothing like mine – a deep, ancient lake next to my sad little puddle of a chakra pool.

In Crater City, I had risen above the skills of everyone around me. Sure they had hit me and excluded me, but I had outrun and maneuvered them. I was smarter, quicker more agile. I was a genius compared to them.

Lying back on the roof, I realized:

"I've been a frog in a well, thinking I'm king of the ocean," I sighed.

Despite the advantages of being an old soul, of having information no one else alive had, I was not all-powerful.

I need to be OK with not being the best, I thought. I need to keep my goals in mind and keep working towards them even if they don't come easily.

I couldn't escape the Yamanaka surveillance, I couldn't shake Daisuke completely, and I couldn't leave the village (yet) – ultimately I was surrounded by shinobi that were much more skilled and powerful than I was. Listing these facts off made me feel, trapped and angry and… I had to accept it. I closed my eyes and tried releasing the tension in my body.

Breathe... clear your mind.

Focus – What can you do?

I thought back to my dinner with Inoichi and crew. I thought of how they had reached out, gotten uncomfortable, and eventually left me in silence.

I can minimize the interactions I had with the people here.

I will focus on being just the right combination of unpleasant and avoidant that makes the average person leave you alone. That would leave only the bare minimum of people – just the ones paid or paying to keep me alive – interacting in my life.

I would be an unpleasant, ugly little spider on their wall. A thing best ignored. A thing best forgotten.

Because, even if I wasn't the best, I still deserved to live the life I wanted.

I was going to get through this, and I was going to do it my way.

Alone.

*I know that in Japan they use the 24-hour system (so 5:30 would be 17:30) but I'm American and I just know I will forget and have inconsistencies later, so opted not to change them.

Sorry, it's been so long! I wrote this chapter YEARS ago and finally decided to post it. A lot has changed in my life since I first posted, but I still like this story. Not sure If I should continue... but if anyone is still reading it, you can enjoy a little more of Akira in Chapter 6.

Review if enjoy (or don't... I can't tell you what do do...)!