Pyrrha Nikos and her party circled the demonic alter like it was a wild animal, a predator in waiting. For all intents and purposes, it was. A sharp and twisted looking thing, with seven arching pillars around a flat circular platform, all made out of carved obsidian and glowing with simmering hell flame, this was the alter of one of the Eight Figures of Royalty of Hell, belonging to the newest one that had just been crowned according to the various demon cults across the world that served and worshipped them as gods.
Pyrrha would not have it. As a Paladin of the Knights Templar and Priestess of the Church of Cindered Flame, it was her duty to be the avenging angel that would smite these foul heresies, and as such, by the name of the archangel Cinder Fall and their gods, Salem and Ozma Magier, put an end of this vile prince of hell before it could bring upon the world an Eight Reign so much more terrible than all the others.
And so, to accomplish this role, under the gaze of her gods and the divine priest Tyrian Callow, she brought together the most noble warriors that she could find. The scout Ruby Rose, the healer Weiss Schnee, the warlock Blake Belladonna, and the tank Yang Xiao Long. Together, they had roamed the lands and crushed cult after cult, quelling the words of this new demon's followers wherever they went, and had just finished crushing the Heresiarch May Zedong's blasphemous Church of the Yellow Blade before finally learning of where the central site of worship for the Eighth Prince of Hell was, deep in the bowels of the underworld…
And it was here where the demon prince's followers sought to bring him into the real world.
"You're too late, fools!" one of the two figures clad in red robes accented by golden laurels laughed out, her ginger hair swaying about as she rocked her head back with roaring laughter, "The ritual is already complete! The summoning of our Prince of Hell, the Incubus Lord, into the real world has begun, and soon we will bring this world into an Eighth Age of Darkness!"
"That's where you're wrong, apostate!" Pyrrha called out, her teammates awaiting the move to breach through the hellish red-domed barrier covering the alter and eliminate the cultists inside, "For we are the Handmaidens of the Church of Cindered Flame-"
"We didn't agree on that name."
Pyrrha ignored Yang's interruption, "-And it is our divine mission to burn your tainted souls from this world and cast away the darkness that your lords may bring!"
With a wave of her hand, her party members and herself began to attack the dome of hellish energy around the alter, slowly pounding away at the red barrier as the ginger-haired woman inside cackled once more.
"You think that your little toys will be enough to stop us?! Puhlease! This barrier was constructed by our lord himself, his energies given over to us to make this ritual possible! You can't possibly hope to break through and-"
"Nora," said the robed cultist man next to her.
"Yes Renny?"
"They're breaking through."
The ginger-haired woman blinked, then looked at the luminescent cracks forming in the barrier, "Oh yeah they are. Thanks Renny… oh they're breaking through."
"That we are, demon lover!" Weiss called out as she cast a dark spell on the barrier, sucking away its power, "It would seem that your dark lord is no match for our gods' divine will!"
"Oh yeah, well, er- my god's got a bigger pee-pee than yours!"
Pyrrha blinked, almost pausing an attack before letting out a loud groan. Was it just her, or were the Eighth Prince of Hell's followers a little… goofy? The last Prince of Hell had his followers sacrifice babies at his alters, according to the records, yet all these guys seemed to ever do was make a bunch of dumb demands and act like a bunch of wackos. The last cultist that they'd fought, someone by the name of Neon Katt, had spent her time sacrificing action figures to her shrine instead of people, and when they'd asked her about it, she'd simply told them that her lord was a collector (in between calling them fat and throwing rotten tomatoes at them, of course), which they had reasonably assumed meant that the Eighth Lord of Hell liked to collect souls and Neon had simply misunderstood what she was meant to sacrifice… but still…
The last Prince of Hell had an army of followers who plunged the world into a hundred-year war, according to the records.
These guys, however, all just seemed like a gaggle of goofballs, and Pyrrha couldn't help but feel vexed by it.
But regardless, these two were trying to summon an unfathomable evil into the world, and Pyrrha wasn't about to let that-
The marking in the middle of the alter erupted with hellfire.
-Happen.
They were too late.
"Yes! YES!" cried out the ginger-haired woman, "Come forth my Lord! Claim this world as your own! Mark our souls with your divinity and grant us the greatest of gifts! Unholy power! Immortality! Barbeques every other Saturday depending on the weather! Come forth, and-"
Suddenly, she began to cough, and spat out a wad of saliva.
"I think I swallowed a bug!"
"Dammit, stop them!" Pyrrha shouted to her party as the barrier broke down and they surged forward, "Destroy the alter before-"
But it was too late. From the hellfire, a single figure rose up and manifested into the world, shrouded by darkness before finally taking up his demented shape. The Incubus Lord, the Eighth Prince of Hell, and the bringer of the Eighth Reign of Darkness…
A blond-haired boy floating in place, wearing a plain shirt and trouser, holding a comic book in one hand and a phone in the other.
"No, Saph, you need to beat the dough longer than just a minute otherwise it won't rise… no, when it's smooth, then you- you need to beat it for at least five minutes, otherwise it won't rise in the oven… that's what I just- you know what, put Terra on the phone… what do you mean she's busy, I- oh come on, are you really calling me in the middle of an or-"
His surprisingly blue eyes darted down, and suddenly he became aware of where he was.
"Oh shi- Saph, I got to go!" he called out as he quickly tossed his comic book to the side and began to worm his way out of his casual clothes and kept his phone pressed against his ear, "Dammit, where's the smoke filter on this- no I just got summoned… yeah, I know, first ever summoning, it's not that special- what? No, I don't need you down here… no, you're busy… okay, thanks, I-" he flushed red, "I love you too, sis. See you later."
He pocketed his phone, and then tried to worm his way out of his regular clothes and into something that looked like demonic apparel. However, he gave said apparel a look and, deciding that it was a bit too much for his tastes (he was meant to be an Incubus Lord. Make of that what you will) and tossed it away. Then, he just waved away the smoke filter, looked down awkwardly at Pyrrha and her party down below him…
And gave them a wave.
"Er… hi… I'm Jaune," he paused, blinked, and then sighed, "I'm the- I'm the first… first Prince of Hell, I guess."
Pyrrha stared at him. Stared for a long time.
It was Blake who then quickly cut in with, "Don't you mean the eighth?"
"What?"
"You're the Eighth Prince of Hell."
"No I'm not."
"There were seven Princes before you."
"No there- oh, you mean my sister?"
"…Sisters?"
"Yeah, my- I think there's been a misunderstanding. My sisters before me, they were- they were Princesses. Princesses of Hell. I'm the- I'm the only boy of my family."
"…Huh."
"Blake, stop fraternising with the demon lord from hell!" Weiss cried out as she pointed her rapier at the floating devil above them, "We must stop this foul beast before it pollutes our world and-"
"Hang on, pollutes it?" Jaune asked, "I'm not trying to pollute the world. I'm all about healing the ecosystem!"
"It's true, our lord has us go out on litter picks every Sunday!" the ginger-haired girl called out.
Ruby perked up, "Oh, do you? I do that too!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, I always thought it was- what's the word? Cathartic?"
"Yeah, that. It's really therapeutic, isn't it?"
"Ruby!" Weiss called out, "Seriously! Stop being friendly with the people trying to conquer the world!"
"Wait, hang on, 'Conquer the world'? I don't want to conquer the world!" called out Jaune, "I just want to have barbeques every other Saturday depending on the weather!"
"…"
"I'd vote for him."
"Yang, don't!" Weiss sneered at the floating demon, "You're corrupting them, aren't you?"
"Eh?"
"You're a Incubus Lord! You're probably using your charm and charisma-
"Oh, thank you."
"-To seduce my teammates into submitting to you as their slaves!"
"…Huh?" Jaune blinked, then snapped his fingers, "Oh, right, I'm a- I'm an Incubus, aren't I? Incubus, Incubi- hang on, is it Incubus or Incubi?"
"Incubus is singular, Incubi is plural," said the black-haired cultist.
"Oh, right. Thank you Ren."
"Will you shut up and take this seriously, please?!" Weiss called out, "Unless… unless this is your plan, isn't it?! You're trying to get us to let our guard down, just so that you can corrupt our minds and turn us into your mindless sex slaves!"
"Ew, that sounds gross," Jaune cringed, "Unless you're, like, into that stuff, which I don't- I'm not into that stuff, but if you are, then, like, you do you, girl."
"Wha- I am not into such nonsense!"
"I am."
"Blake, can you just not please?"
"No, sorry, I cannot not."
"Just, shut up! Shut up," Weiss growled, "I know your kind, Incubus! I'm sure you're just waiting for the chance to turn us into your living Human-"
"And Faunus."
"-Sacrifices, aren't you?"
"Er… my family stopped with that practice years ago."
"…Seriously?"
"Yeah, we- it's kind of embarrassing, actually," Jaune rubbed the back of his head, "Like, um, quite a few thousand years ago, my grandma was all about Human sacrifices- a-and Faunus sacrifices, of course, but like… my sisters and I, we're really not. Like, it took soooo long for my sister Saph to convince her followers to stop sacrificing people to her, it's- it's just… yeah."
Weiss' eye twitched, and it was Ruby who picked up the conversation with, "Hang on, what about your followers? Like, we found this Neon girl, and she was- didn't she mistranslate the scripts or whatever-"
"Unholy runes."
"Yeah, those, thanks Blake. We thought she mistranslated those. Wasn't she supposed to be sacrificing people?"
"Who, Neon? No, she was- I asked her to help me get some action figures," he looked away shyly, "I'm a- I'm a collector."
"Oh, me too!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"That's awesome! I'm a- I'm a fan of Changemorphers!"
"Oh cool, me too!"
"Er, hang on, wait a minute," Yang cut in with, "What about all the records of your guys sacrificing babies at the alter?"
"What?"
"From the Hundred-Year War? Babies at the alter?"
"Oh god, that's sounds awful!"
"Yeah, didn't you guys-"
"No!"
"Seriously?"
"Never! I always thought it was you guys doing that?"
"…Okay, that's something to unpack for later," Yang continued on, "O-Okay, what about your followers? You know, the cults and churches and all?"
"What?"
"The cults. And churches."
"…Oh, er, that's- wait," Jaune looked down at the ginger-haired cultist and furrowed his brow, "Nora, did you set them all up to that?"
"…Well, I may have," the ginger-haired cultist turned her head down, "Look, my lord, I may have…" she sighed, "Okay, yeah Jaune-Jaune, I had all our friends turn into cultists."
"Okay… why?"
"…I thought it'd be funny," she shrugged, "Also, mad amounts of worship is the only way that I can summon you back into the real world for movie night, so…"
"Nora, you know that you could've just called me at any time, right?"
"…Really?"
"That's what I've been telling her," the black-haired cultist – Ren – sighed.
"Yeah- Nora, you have the runestone that I gave you. It's like a phone, you could've just called me on it anytime."
"Oh, well," the ginger-haired cultist – Nora – rubbed the back of her head, "That would've- wow, that would've saved a lot of time. Oh, this is a little embarrassing now."
"I- okay," Yang continued, "But what about your followers?"
"…Eh?"
"Your followers?"
"…Oh, you mean those guys? They're all my friends. I was a- I was a bit of an odd child. Socially awkward. I sometimes liked to jump into this plain of existence just for some alone time, and- and I guess like-minded people kind of just drift together. That, and they all needed help and I like helping people. It's a- it's a whole thing."
"Plus, we get benefits for following him," Nora cut in with, "I mean, when I set up the churches, I set up the benefits."
Yang looked at her, "Benefits?"
"Yeah, like, unlimited sick days, health care coverage, overtime payment, dental care, maternity leave, we celebrate everyone's birthdays-"
"Can I join you guys?" Yang asked, "The church doesn't give us any of those."
"Yeah, and they don't let me collect action figures!" Ruby pouted, "And Cinder called my figures 'Dumb'! They're not dumb, they're collectors items and they're supposed to stay in the box!"
"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!" Weiss screeched like a hawk, "In case you've all forgotten, this is a demon! A monster from Hell, trying to corrupt our minds and souls with its wicked words!"
"Hey, that's dehumanising."
"Not only that, but it's an Incubus! It's a monstruous creature that seeks to devour our sex and bodies-"
"That sounds bad."
"-By snaking its way into our minds and tempted us with his words-"
"I'm not that equivalent… or whatever the word is."
"-Using his powers to overload our senses and make us putty in his hands to reshape as he desires-"
"Okay, so now you're using the correct pronouns."
"-Ravaging our bodies and leaving us as broken dolls for him to use whenever he wants-"
"Why is your face so red, and why are you breathing so hard?"
"-Using us for his pleasure and devouring us whole, turning us into his slaves for his own pleasure and-
"Guys, I'm scared."
"Ignore Weiss, she's just been sexually repressed all her life."
"I AM NOT REPRESSED YANG!" Weiss cried out with a red face and a heavy breath, only to realise what she had just said and collapsing to the ground, curling herself up into a ball out of sheer embarrassment.
Blake then stepped forward, "If you want to do any of that to me, then that's be fine."
"…Er… I'm good."
"Okay, just let me know. Offer's on the table."
"…I'm not sure what we're supposed to do now," Yang looked to the side at their party leader, "Pyrrha, what should we do now?"
"…"
"Pyrrha?"
Pyrrha didn't hear her. All she was doing at the moment was stare at Jaune. Stare at the blond-haired boy floating above them…
Stared at the boy before her who just happened to be exactly her type.
"Seduce me."
Jaune reared her head back and blinked, "…What?"
"You're an Incubus, right?"
"I-I suppose?"
"Then seduce me."
"E-Eh?"
Pyrrha grabbed her armoured top and pulled it off, "Seduce. Me."
"…I didn't bring my notes."
"…Fine," she cracked her neck, "I'll do it myself."
"Wha- WHA-"
Jaune couldn't say anything more as Pyrrha somehow leapt up high into the air, smashed herself into Jaune, and pulled him down to the ground, crashing her lips against his and engaging in the sloppiest make out session that any of them had ever heard.
Everyone who wasn't currently engaged in locking lips with another all looked at each other.
"…We've got movie night tonight. Want to join?"
Pyrrha's party all looked at Nora.
"…Okay."
"…So, that just happened."
Salem the Goddess looked at Ozma the God with an unamused glance, "Ever the eloquent man, aren't you Ozma?"
Ozma, in turn, shrugged, "I believe that it is all I can say in that regard."
Salem couldn't fault him for that, "A good point… this is certainly not how I imagined the Eighth Reign to begin."
"Your son seems to have that way with people."
"Unfortunately," she shook her head, "Oh dear, I believe Cinder is having another fit."
"She's not going to go back into sacrificing babies at the altar, is she?"
"…I'm going to have to get back to you on that one."
Around them, a loud guttural moan sounded off from the mortal realm, which shouldn't be possible considering the fact that they existed on different interdimensional plains of existence.
Ozma took a long sip of his drink, "At least you won't be starved for grandchildren."
Salem smiled. Yes, she supposed she had that going for her, didn't she?
"Good work, Jaune."