A Summerween to Remember
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I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
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I THANK AND OWE GOD EVERYTHING!
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
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While Dipper was becoming a internet viral sensation- whether he liked it or not -a kindred spirit was having a similar 'issue'.
Frankie Foster groaned as stood in front of Tambry's house, 'How did I even get here?'
She'd been going out of state for an errand for her grandmother...when her car broke down in this town that wasn't even on the map!
She'd tried to go into a nearby party to call a toe-truck...but they wouldn't let her in! Apparently it was Summerween- honestly what kinda rip-off holiday was that? Even the name was lazy! -and they only were letting people in with costumes...
Fortunately, they had a lost and found full of spare costumes...
UNfortunately, most of them were covered in... 'fluids', had cigarette burned through them, or were meant for someone younger then her...
The only one CLOSE to her size was a Space Captain Frankarella space suit...it had barely fit her! She had to shoehorn it on AND even then she had to take off her sports bra and boxers!
Fortunately, as annoying as it was they let her in after that while there was no toe-truck available, her grandma knew someone who could help, apparently someone was already on his way...it was at that point an idiot spilled soda on the phone, shorting it out. So Franky didn't get any details besides 'wait outside'...
UNfortunately, while she was inside...someone made off with her clothes...AND CHOP-SHOPED HER CAR!
So she was literally standing there on this cold summer night, staring at the skeletal remains of her car, wearing nothing but a very tight costume that she was afraid would either rip any minute or give the mother lode of unneeded colonoscopy's...dumbfounded by this aggravating turn of events...
Quite the predicament I think you'll agree...
However...
She's NOT the 'kindred spirit' I was referring to...
That would be the young Cherub Mac floating in a nearby bush...bemoaning how poorly this was going...
Mac didn't really know why he'd been made a cherub by the 'powers that be'...his magic was weak, his control over it was even weaker...plus unlike the other cherub he wore a loincloth rather then float about naked...due to his 'condition'...
In any case, he'd at least expected his first assignment be about helping people find true love...since well...that's what cherubs DID...
But instead his boss Goo had instead had him come here to help this beautiful young girl...
Mac was confused, but Goo threatened to steal his loincloth- AGAIN -if he refused, so he complied...
And so far it had been a disaster...
Somehow she'd gotten turned around and ended up in Gravity Falls...on SUMMERWEEN no less!
This was literally the most dangerous place to be! ...well...except Twin Peaks on Halloween of course...
So naturally Mac tried to launch an arrow to teleport her far away from this cursed lace...instead, all it accomplished was for giving her a flat!
Then when he used another arrow to try to fix her car...it exploded!
He had nothing to do with the clothes though...that was just some perv...
In fact that was what he was focusing on right now! The perv had just taken her clothes before she got out, so he was hiding in a bush not too far away from him...
And it was who Mac was notching yet another arrow toward...
Accepting that he sucked at this, he wasn't even going to bother casting a spell this time. All he would need to do is stick him like a pig to get him drop the clothes and squeal...thus letting Frankie get out of that oh, so tight and lovely-
'FOCUS!' Snaps a flustered Mac to himself as he tears his gaze from the buxomus redhead...and stretched his arrow across the bow-
TWANG!
OW!
ZAP!
BOOM!
Mac gaped in disbelief, then moaned. 'Seriously, I can't even NOT do magic right?' he groans to himself.
Indeed, SOMEHOW his depowered arrow not only sliced a hole across Frankie's seat cover, gave her a nasty zap on her tushy that sent her flying AND blew the guy, the bush and the clothes into a storm of guts and blood...all over the aforementioned buxomus redhead
Who naturally, promptly freaks out-
"OHSWEETMERCYDIDTHATGUYJUSTDIEOHIHAVEBLOODONMEWHYISTHISHAPPENINGSWEETMERCYWHY!?"
Her panic accomplishes nothing but get MORE blood everywhere...and- much to Mac's fluster -her rumps 'jiggle' was only making her rip BIGGER...
He ignored the- tiny -bulge in his loincloth and noted for a moment how lucky he was that at least the invisibility spell tied to his loincloth was still working and no mortal can see him...
BANG!
One moment Dipper Pines was running in shame from a livestream-happy Tambry, next he's apparently running into invisible walls...and now he's on the ground naked, next to an equally naked kid his own age?
The two brown haired boys look at each other perplexed for a moment...then dipper sighs... "Trouble with a older red head way out of your league?" He half-joked...
Mac's eyes widen, "Yes! How's you know?!" He asked amazed.
Dipper's eyes also widen, "Wait...for real? I was just joking! How are-
And then he hears the tell tale click of Tambry's selfie-stick...
"Don't mind me...you two keep talking...let those two teeny weenies keep on breathing in the full moonlight..." Said a smirking Tambry...
To their horror, they both realized the collision caused their loincloths to fly off! In mad panic, they both grab the nearest loincloth and run!
Dipper runs inside and Mac uses his wings to fly after Frankie who's flee into the woods to flee from the police sirens...
Tambry blinks as Dipper suddenly vanishes...and the other boy has WINGS?!
"Number one viral video here I come!" Shouts triumphantly as she runs after the OTHER brown haired boy in her life...
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Dispatch we have reports of a crazy red head covered in blood and entrails, please investigate-
"Sorry man! No can do! This take priority!" Shouts Blubs into the walkie...
"Stop you perverts!" Shouts Durland as he and Blubs continue to chase after a naked Mable and her friends...
"That's it! were buying the candy from a store!" Snaps Candy.
"But that takes the fun out trick or treat or die-
"MABLE OUR LIVES ARE AT STAKE! EITHER SHUT UP OR I PUSH YOUR TWAT SO HARD INTO MRS O' LEARY'S CACTUS YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TASTE IT!"
"Okay", whimpered Mable as they continued to streak into the night with the police hot on their tails...
…III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
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