Here we go lads and ladies, dead on my feet but still writing because I can't stand boredom LETS GOOOO!
"We're almost at our destination, it shouldn't be more than an hour or so. Prepare to weigh anchor and put sales at half-mast." Nami called out from the ship's wheel. Grabbing the attention of all but Zoro, who was napping after his intense training.
Something which, I would admit, I did as well. Though in my case it was an accident as I relaxed a bit too much while training observation haki. Relaxing as it was, sleeping and waking up in a meditation pose on a cold, hard wooden ship was not comfortable.
"Thanks for the heads up Nami. I'll go make us some food so that we don't go in on an empty stomach. Any preference?" A mumble of something citrusy and a yell of MEAT gave me my answer. "Alright, I think we have a few lemons left from our port of origin and we've got plenty of fresh fish. I'll think something up, it should be ready by the time we get there."
Let's see, some lemon cod sauteed in butter with a bit of salt, pepper, and parsley should do fine. With a bit of lemonade to drink, it's getting quite hot lately. Ah, and let's use up the last of those apples Luffy and Zoro brought with them before they go bad, slice them and toss 'em in a pan with some caramel and you have a nice, energizing dessert.
I was no Sanji. Not by a long shot. But give me a good variety of decent quality ingredients and a basic kitchen and I could make something basic like this easily enough. I'd leave the grand line cooking to the prince though, he'd probably kill me if I tried taking the kitchen from him anyway.
"Food's done, with triple servings for the captain, double for the hard-working swordsman, and some extra dessert for our quartermaster and navigator." Setting each plate of food down at our dining area, I eat my own quick meal and get back to work on something I'd been preparing in my free time as we sailed.
It was a pot of boiling cabbage, specifically red cabbage. Cut into small strips, boiled, mashed, and drained of a certain chemical for later use with some strips of bleached parchment paper we had lying around. And by now, anyone who had some knowledge of pop science/chemistry would know where I was going with this.
I figured that since the theme of the next arc was going to be lies, I might as well make myself useful by adopting those methods. After all, information and trickery are my only real weapons at the moment, and if I want to use them effectively I'd need practice. May as well do that on a relatively safe opponent like Kuro and his washed-up crew.
'These strips are just step one, a single tool in the arsenal I'll be growing. But since it is a first step, I should make sure that it works and I use it to its full effect.' Plus, it would be funny to see everyone's faces as I pull off some of the deepest bs that I've ever concocted. Especially since I've built enough of a reputation that even my crew would believe me up until I told them it was all a trick.
Speaking of tricks. "I AM THE GREAT CAPTAIN USOPP!" Oh my, I was so caught up in my work that I didn't even notice that we hit land. I guess it's about time that I joined the crew and met our soon-to-be newest member. 'This is going to be fun.' With that thought, I stepped out to see my captain about to get shot at with a slingshot.
Though the marksman was hesitating.
"You know, great captain Usopp, I recommend dropping that. Even if that was a rifle it wouldn't do anything to the people in front of you other than piss them off." I call out, surprising Usopp and making his hand slip, causing the shot to go out. Though it went high and only hit our ship. "Alright, I get that I surprised you so I'll let that one slide. But seriously, stand down and calm down. We aren't here to harm the town."
"Oh, ok then. I'm grate-wait a minute, how am I supposed to know you aren't lying?!" The compulsive liar questioned after realizing that he probably shouldn't take some random pirates at their word.
"Well for one, the strong have no need to lie. If we wanted to harm your town and its people, we'd just kill you and move on, not try to talk you down. Besides, I don't like lying flat out, it's way more fun to tell mostly the truth with a sprinkle of misdirection to really mess with people. Ever heard of the game, two truths and a lie? Gyahaha!" My logic seemed to appease him and my little comment got him laughing too.
"Hehe, I guess you're right. I like your style, by the way, I usually just lie flat out but what you said does sound kind of fun too. Hey, how about I show you to a nice place to eat, we can talk there." We had just eaten, but Luffy's call of MEAT decided our course of action for us.
Minutes later, Meshi
"You're telling me that my dad is sailing with the Red Hair Shanks! That's amazing, I always knew that he was a great pirate, I can already feel my pride healing after the bruising it got earlier!" It was so tempting to pop his prideful bubble as Ussop visibly inflated. Which is why I did it without a hint of hesitation.
"Sure, just don't mistake that for self-worth. If you want to be proud of yourself then you should work on getting stronger. You have good aim but those twigs you use to fire your shots will hold you back in a real fight." I poke his arm and see it wiggle as if he were Luffy. His head goes down.
"Hm, I'd be willing to help you get stronger though. Nobody starts at the top, even these two monsters are training their asses off to make sure we're all ready when we enter the grand line." The two in question were stuffing their faces full of food and sake respectively. "Hell, I'm no fighter and I'm training too."
"Wait seriously?! But you said those guys were already bulletproof, didn't you? How much stronger do you need to be? And you're not a fighter, then what are you to the crew, a doctor or something?" Usopp asked, poking my arm in turn, though I didn't fall for the same toon logic of having it turn into a noodle.
"Nah, I know a little bit about medicine and first aid, but I'm no doctor. As for my role on the crew, I guess you could say I do a little bit of everything, a jack of all trades if you will. Though if I had to choose one role…I'd probably be the crew's advisor. If you ever need a sense of direction or help with anything, just ask." The crew was already going to be solid on all fronts in just a few months, and a force to be reckoned with in a couple of years. So I had no reason to fill a position that was already taken by someone more qualified, best to just help out everywhere I can while I can.
"But wouldn't I have to be part of the crew for that?" Ah, he caught on.
"Play your cards right and you could be. I can tell you're a bit of a handyman and your aim really is quite amazing. We could certainly do worse. And call it a magician's intuition, but I think you'll have the opportunity to prove yourself sooner rather than later." I said, getting a front-row seat to Usopp's following daydream of sailing the…Seven? Seas. Did the calm belts count?
Questions for later. And speaking of the time.
"Wait, did you say magician? Ah, prove it, do a trick! The great Usopp can solve it in an instant!" He challenged, to my amusement.
"Alright, but before I do, shouldn't you be somewhere around this time." I say, pointing outside, particularly to Kaya's mansion.
"Oh yea-Wait how did you-Nevermind! I gotta run, go ahead and order whatever you want, everyone here knows me! Later!" He didn't bother finishing his question before rushing off to Kaya's mansion. Well, I already ate everything that I was going to. May as well follow him, though I'd take my sweet time walking.
Half an hour later
I was right to walk, since three quarters of the way to the mansion Luffy had ran past me along with Zoro, though Nami seeing that I had been heading in the same direction decided to walk the rest of the way instead. "I guess you aren't as in a hurry as Luffy. Alright, what do you know and should I know about it?"
"I just want to show up at the right time, if I get there too early it will put a hamper on the mystique I'm trying to build. An essential element to the con I'm about to pull." She blinked before giving a chuckle, probably caught off guard by how straight forward I was about it all.
"Oh, are you going to lie to that poor girl too? Maybe get us a ship in the process?" Not at all, that was already within the cards without my help. What I wanted to do was prevent some unnecessary heart ache and maybe push up our schedule by a bit. And of course…
Have a bit of fun.
"A request? Of me?" Kaya had just asked as we approached, so we got here just before the butler arrived, perfect. "Hm, are those two with you as well?" She asked, though a certain dead-man interrupted before anyone could answer here.
"What are you doing here?! You can't just barge into the mansion like this!" The mangy cat yelled. Pushing up his glasses in his particular way. Completely denying Kaya's input as he told us to leave or state our business.
"You should probably get some new glasses, we haven't step foot in the mansion. By the way, do you happen to be the butler of this place? I'm just guessing by your monkey suit." Taking a step back at the unexpected jab, Kuro adjusted his glasses again out of habit.
"As a matter of fact I am ruffian. Now state your business."
"Hm, in that case, you better watch that mouth of yours. What kind of butler casts aside the wishes and orders of their master? That young lady is the owner of this mansion isn't she? You ain't the captain of this ship, she is. So…Do you want us out of your hair, miss Kaya?" I asked the girl, who was about to answer only to be interrupted again by the cat man.
"The young mistress has a poor constitution and should not waste her energy on you hooligans, a lady of her station shouldn't associate with your kind. And besides, it's almost time for her afternoon tea, now run along so she can drink it in peace." But to his and frankly my surprise, Kaya took exception to that.
"Klahador! That's enough, you have been terribly rude to our guests, mother and father would be ashamed to see it. Please do prepare the tea, but bring enough for everyone to drink. They are to be allowed inside the mansion and be treated as honored guests!" She put down the law, her show of backbone and authority just enough to get Kuro to back off and do as he was ordered.
After all, he wouldn't want suspicion to fall upon him so close to the execution of his final plan.
"Thank you for that, looks like you have more of a backbone than I expected. The name's Arthur, globe trotting explorer, nice to meet you." I said, doing a stylized bow for effect. And with that the rest of the crew introduced themselves, with the two monsters of the crew receiving by far the most surprised looks.
"Oh wow, I didn't expect to meet someone so famous, and Luffy, your surname sounds familiar but I can't put my finger on it…" Oh, so this is coming up. That's right, she never heard Luffy's full name in the original series. And Kaya is probably well educated too, interesting.
"You probably heard it while learning about the world government, particularly the navy. His grandfather is a vice admiral and quite famous in the organization." Mild confusion and surprise turned into outright shock at the indirect mention of the navy's Fist. "Try not to spread that around though. Garp already knows that his grandson wanted to become a pirate, but if the rest of the navy heard of it we might get into more trouble than we can handle too quickly."
Kaya gulped, probably coming to the same conclusion as the now mildly surprised Zoro and internally panicking Nami. Looks like she hadn't pieced together that little tidbit. Then again, she could probably care less about the top dogs of the navy considering who she lived under the thumb of.
"R-right, I'll keep that in mind…You said you were a globe trotting explorer right? That must be exciting, do you have any amazing stories like Usopp?" I smirked while Usopp started sweating, little did he know I was about to substantiate his unintentionally prophetic lies.
"Oh, I have plenty. Have you ever heard of the gigantic sea-kings native to the paradise half of the grand line? They're far larger than the one's you'll find here in the East Blue, and they come in many shapes and sizes. Giant eels, serpents, gold fish, even cows. Large enough to even dwarf the giants of Elbaf." With each word I could feel Usopp's jaw dropping even as I was keeping eye contact with Kaya. I was going to milk this gag for all it was worth.
"Or maybe you'd like to know about the marvelous islands found in that ocean, or those above and below like the sky islands and fishman island. Or maybe old stories of long-dead heroes and legends, I have a few of those from Wano country." This got the attention of Luffy and Zoro respectively. "On second thought, maybe not those two. It would ruin the surprise for when our crew visits them next."
'H-He's not lying is he. Those are real stories, not just tall tales.' Usopp and Kaya thought in unison, shocked to know that the long nosed sniper's stories weren't as outlandish as they once seemed. The shock was so deep that they barely noticed when Kuro had returned with the promised tea.
"I do hope that you'll at least keep the outlandish lies you tell to a minimum. The poor girl gets enough of that from that son of a filthy pirate. Honestly, islands in the sky? Who would believe something like that?" Now thoroughly pissed off, Usopp was about to tear into Kuro for the dig at his father, only to be held back by my hand. I give him a look and a smile, I'd handle it.
"You should be careful who you insult, a lowly butler like you? Clearly you have no idea who you're talking about. This guy's father is a pirate, that much is true. But tell me, do you have any idea who's crew Yassop belongs to? I'll give you a hint, he goes by the moniker Red Hair." The man took a moment to think about my words, and immediately after he processed what I said he went paler than the mansion's walls.
"I see that you do. You should be very careful. Shanks isn't the type to attack people who just insult him or his crew, but if you mess with Yassop's kid he might just take it personally. Now run along with your tail between your legs, it's storytime and you weren't invited." Now angry as well as cautious, Kuro left once again, almost certainly with a hurricane of thoughts, plans, and bile swirling in his head.
"Hm, as expected of a failed cowardly pirate. Scaredy cat." Kaya gasped at that.
"What do you mean, a pirate? How could Klahador be a pirate? You better not be lying, guest or not I won't stand for someone lying about him, even if he can sometimes be petty." Kaya's anger now turned to me, though I wasn't worried. I did have some convincing arguments to make, even if I hadn't had to fortune to find one of Kuro's old wanted posters.
"About three years ago, he was known as Kuro of the Black Cat pirates, a captain known for his intricate plans and unique fighting style. He wore cat claw gloves which caused him to adjust his glasses in a unique way." I mimic the action, confirming that I knew Kuro's habit without having seen it in person. "By the time of his "death" at the hands of former navy captain Morgan, he had a bounty of sixteen million."
"Eh, Morgan. He can't be that strong if that oaf got him…Oh, I get it. He tricked the idiot and the navy believed it huh. Figures. So what, he gave up being a pirate? Then why would he settle for being a butler to some random girl, no offense." Zoro said, though clearly a little offense was taken by the random girl.
"For the money of course. At least that's what I picked up on when I noticed members of his old crew lurking around town. His first mate, the hypnotist Jango could have convinced you to write Kuro's name in a will before killing you in a pirate attack. And with the reputation he's surely built, nobody would have been the wiser." Kaya grew paler with each word.
"Though what gave it away the most was the poison in the tea." *Multiple spit takes. "Oh don't worry, it's a slow acting, weak poison that takes months to take effect, if not years. Here, see for yourself." I handed Kaya a purple strip of paper.
"It's a poison test strip, dip it in water and nothing changes. Dip it into liquids saturated with most poisons and it changes color, go ahead." I lied as easily as I breathed. They were just makeshift PH tests that I made with those purple cabbages from earlier. But they still did the trick of selling the illusion.
"I-I can't believe it…Klahador, that. That…" Kaya's emotions were going all over the place, clearly visible by her expressions. Shock, sadness, anger, regret, disgust, fear, and finally. Rage. "That absolute bastard! Did he plan this out ever since my parents died? Did he have a hand in…I'll kill him!" Excellent.
"Woah now, while I love the enthusiasm you should calm down. Failure or not, this is still a murderous pirate we're talking about. Not exactly a match for a poisoned rich girl, no offense. But lucky for you, there are a few good fighters right here willing to come to your defense and unleash some karmic retribution. Isn't that right lads." "Hell yeah!" Luffy shouted in affermative and launched himself towards where Kuro walked away before anyone could stop him.
"...Huh. I might have riled him up a bit too much without realizing it. Whoops. Hey Zoro, you should probably follow him, Kuro isn't strong enough to beat Luffy, but he can injure him and if the rest of the crew jumps in things could get ugly." The green samurai nodded and headed towards where Luffy went, his sense of not yet nonexistent as it would be in just a few months.
"Well, that should take care of that. With Kuro out of the picture that just leaves his first mate Jango and a few other moderately concerning fighters. We can take care of them easily enough with just a bit of preparation. Miss Kaya, would you happen to have any large quantities of oil or other flammable substance that we could use?" Usopp's plan was great, now we just had to do it without messing up the location.
"Oh, uh, sure. We have plenty of barrels of oil for general use and a good deal of alcohol from when…From when my parents were still alive. I think I have an idea of what you want them for, but we'll have to find out which side of the island they're going to be coming from." I smile in response, smart girl. I wonder who got it from who, Usopp or Kaya.
"They'll come in from the north, and before you even ask, I have my ways. Well, we should get on with it, you guys can prepare the oil and alcohol trap and find some candles or lanterns. I'll go see if I can convince the townspeople that a pirate attack is actually happening. Seriously Usopp, hasn't anyone told you never to tell the same lie twice? They lose the impact and nobody believes you after the first few." The boy groaned but accepted the criticism. He could see a valid point when it was made.
Each of us moved out to do our part. By tomorrow morning, Kuro's crew wouldn't know what hit them.
That will be all for this chapter, I wanted to finish up this story arc here but that would take far too much time and I have a busy couple of weeks ahead of me. So I suppose this is as good of a spot as any to leave it. I hope that all of you enjoyed reading and that you'll do the same with the next chapter.
Also, a virtual cookie goes to anyone who gets that last reference. Until next time.