It was odd how much of a relief it was to return to the Central Park Zoo. The team had left to have just a bit more freedom in their operations, without worrying so much about blowing their cover. If they were noticed, well, nobody was going to suspect four penguins from New York to be involved in a security leak in Russia.
But after everything that happened with Dave, and how close the four of them came to losing each other, Skipper had thought it best if they laid low for a while. He suggested that they return to the zoo and stick to smaller missions for a while. They had all agreed without a moment's hesitation.
The zoo wouldn't be able to keep them forever. They all had bigger aspirations than to keep the peace in their small zoo, but their team, their family, was more important than anything. Though none of them said it out loud, they all needed the down time to come to terms with the fact that they were all okay.
Kowalski went back to spending most of his time in his lab, where all of his projects were waiting for him. Rico had been able to snag him some high tech equipment from the North Wind and Dave, and he couldn't wait to implement them into his own designs. They'd been back for a few weeks now, and there had already been a handful of minor explosions. Skipper wasn't pleased, but it was all a part of the scientific process. As long as things didn't reach a catastrophic level, it was fine.
Though Kowalski worked in his lab for hours at a time, he also spent more time with his brothers than he used to, and not just when they were training. He would sit with Skipper in the morning with a cup of coffee and just talk about the old days. When the zoo was open, he would dive into the water with Rico and let his brother swim circles around him. He didn't normally like making a spectacle of himself to amuse the crowd, but Rico was so carefree in the water, and he was ecstatic to share that with someone, and Kowalski couldn't bring himself to disappoint him.
At night, he let Private drag him out of his lab to watch that ridiculous Lunacorns show with him. Kowalski couldn't stand it, just because of how illogical the entire thing was, but Private liked it. And just like Rico, Private just seemed happy to share something he liked with his brother. Kowalski could humor them. It was the very least he could do to show them that he did, in fact, care.
He didn't know if it was because he was going out of his way to spend more time with them, or if he was being more attentive than before, but he started to be more aware of his brothers' feelings. Perhaps aware wasn't the right word. Kowalski hadn't really struggled to notice when his brothers were feeling upset, or angry, or joyous, he had just had a hard time caring.
Of course he cared if his brothers were distressed, but they always got so emotional about the most meaningless things that he just didn't understand. Skipper's fear of needles was illogical. Private angrily insisting that he was an adult when he often acted so much like a child was contradictory. And Rico's sudden urges to destroy something for reasons that even he didn't understand just didn't make sense.
Kowalski wasn't heartless enough to think that his brothers' feelings weren't real. Emotions themselves often defied logic. He just didn't understand why they felt the way they did, and it was infuriating.
Kowalski wasn't one to provide comfort. The most he could manage was a somewhat sincere 'everything will be okay', and an awkward pat on the back. He just didn't know what else he was supposed to do.
He left the emotional stuff to Skipper. Their leader was far from the most empathetic person in the world, but he was a good leader, and he knew how his men worked. He knew how to get Private to take missions seriously when he started to get sidetracked. Skipper could focus Rico's destructive nature on something productive.
But Skipper wasn't always around, and Kowalski couldn't keep pushing his younger brothers aside just because their intense emotions made him feel weird, and it was much more convenient to ignore it.
So when Kowalski came out of his lab to find Rico curled up on his bed, sobbing into his pillow, he resisted the urge to turn around and pretend he hadn't seen anything.
Skipper and Private weren't there that evening. Since they'd come home, the two of them had been spending a lot of one-on-one time together. Kowalski knew that a fair amount of it was for training and assessment. Skipper was still getting used to the idea that Private was perfectly capable and competent, and these assessments gave him the chance to see for himself what their baby brother was able to do.
Sometimes though, they just talked, which Kowalski thought was long overdue. For their whole lives, talking to Skipper was like talking to a brick wall. He had an idea in his head, and very little could change his mind. Kowalski admired his stubbornness, but it made talking to him frustrating, because it was clear that he wasn't truly listening.
But Skipper was trying to do better, and he'd made a lot of progress. He talked a little less, and listened a lot more. He started to open up about his own vulnerabilities and insecurities. Kowalski had known about many of them already, but it was nice to hear that Skipper was starting to nudge his way out of his denial.
Kowalski had thought that Skipper spending time with Private could only mean good things, but seeing Rico on his bunk, crying, he started to wonder if they'd let things get too far again. If they had been so careful to be more considerate of their sensitive baby brother, that they'd forgotten how sensitive their other younger brother could be sometimes.
Especially when he felt abandoned.
"Rico?" Kowalski approached him slowly. His brother stiffened and shoved his face in his pillow to try to quiet himself. "Are you okay?"
"Fine." Rico said roughly. Kowalski didn't believe it for a second. He sighed and approached the bunks, though he stopped when Rico growled in warning.
"You know I'm no fool." Kowalski said. "Please don't take me for one. Tell me what's wrong." He took another step towards his brother, putting a comforting flipper on his back. Rico whined and rolled over to face him, burying his face against Kowalski's chest. He stroked the feathers on Rico's head, hoping it would encourage him to calm down.
Rico sobbed against him for a long minute until he was able to find his words. "Don' wanna be monster."
Kowalski blinked. "What? Monster? What are you talking about?"
Rico sniffled noisily, and Kowalski did his best to ignore the snot on his chest. He cried for another long time before he pulled away from the taller penguin. Rico reached under his pillow and pulled out a sketchbook. He flipped through the pages so harshly that a number of them ripped, though he didn't care. Finally he reached the page he wanted, and he pushed the sketchbook into Kowalski's hands.
The drawing was rough. At first glance it looked like Rico's usual abstract pieces. A glorified pile of scribbles. But the more Kowalski looked at it, the more he could make out a definitive and recognizable picture under the sloppy lines.
It was a penguin, though clearly not a normal one. The wings were those of a bat rather than the flippers of a penguin. The beak was sharper. And the eyes were full of a familiar madness. This was a penguin mutated by Dave's Medusa Serum. Looking past the random angry slashes of lead across the paper, Kowalski realized that he recognized this particular mutated penguin. It was Rico.
"You're afraid of being mutated again?" Kowalski gave Rico a sad look. They'd all had nightmares about what Dave had done, but Rico had always had a hard time differentiating nightmares from reality. Especially when his nightmares were inspired by memories. "Rico, that's not going to happen again, I promise. You're not going to be turned into a monster."
Kowalski thought that would reassure his brother at least a little bit. Rico had a tendency to react without thinking things through clearly, but once something was explained to him in a way that he understood, he could calm down just as quickly as he got upset. To his surprise and alarm, Rico didn't seem comforted. He just sobbed louder than before and curled up on his bunk again, somehow worse off than when Kowalski had found him.
Rico cried and screamed, rambling words that sounded like gibberish to the untrained ear. Kowalski had a lot of practice listening to his brother, and even he had a hard time understanding what he said. Eventually he was able to pick up on it.
"What do you mean you're already a monster?" Kowalski asked. "You are no such thing."
"Uh-huh." Rico argued. He leapt out of his bed so quickly that Kowalski stumbled back to avoid getting body slammed. Still holding his pillow tight, Rico went to the tv and turned it on. He gagged and coughed up a tape recording, which he put into the television's player. It started playing a news program, and Kowalski was unnerved to see that he recognized the situation, even if the footage itself was unfamiliar.
It was a recording of when all the penguins that Dave had captured had been mutated by the Medusa Serum, and were wreaking havoc across the city. Kowalski spotted himself running around, and he really didn't like seeing himself acting like that. He didn't like seeing any of this. He wanted to look away, but Rico pointed passionately at the screen. He was trying to get Kowalski to understand how he felt, and he couldn't turn away now.
"Look!" Rico tapped the screen, needlessly pointing out the mutated penguins. "Bad."
"Well, they're definitely not behaving themselves." Kowalski said as he witnessed the property damage.
"Evil." Rico said. Kowalski personally believed that for one to be evil, they needed to be aware and conscious of their actions. He would call Dave evil. Dr. Blowhole, absolutely. But he knew just how unaware he had felt when mutated. He wasn't proud of his behavior, but he hadn't done it on purpose. He'd been acting on instinct, and Kowalski didn't think that someone could be instinctively evil.
"I don't know about that." Kowalski said, but Rico continued on like he hadn't heard him.
"Monsters." Rico insisted. Kowalski understood what he was saying. Depending on who was asked, mutants and monsters could be synonymous with each other.
"Well, yes, I guess so." Kowalski said reluctantly. "But you're not a mutant, and you're certainly not a monster."
"Not outside." Rico said. He put his flipper against his chest. "Inside."
Kowalski still didn't know exactly what Rico was saying, but he was starting to have a really bad feeling about this. "Rico-"
"Acted like monsters." Rico pointed at the screen. He pointed at himself, and the tears in his eyes started to fall again. "Acted like me."
Kowalski felt like he was going to be sick. He moved towards his brother and wrapped his flippers around him. Rico sobbed and leaned against him. But a hug couldn't fix something like this.
What was he supposed to say? Rico had always had odd behavior. It was just who he was. Sometimes Kowalski wished he didn't act so insanely, but he accepted the fact that if he acted differently, he just wouldn't be Rico.
And it wasn't as though Rico was nothing but his violent tendencies and emotional outbursts. He was enthusiastic about everything, even when it was something he didn't necessarily care about. He was creative, and passionate. He may think a little differently, but that allowed him to see the world in a way that Kowalski and their brothers couldn't. Rico saw solutions to their problems that were somehow both direct, and completely out of the box. Others may not see it, but Rico was smart.
But he wasn't looking at those parts of himself. All Rico saw right now were the similarities between his normal behavior, and that of the mutated penguins, and Kowalski hated that he could see the similarities too.
Though the television's audio wasn't on, Kowalski could remember how they'd sounded when they mutated. They had grunted and spoken in garbled gibberish. Just like Rico felt most comfortable doing now. They had run around with unrestrained energy, like Rico liked to do when he was given the chance.
Kowalski couldn't speak for the others, but he knew that his thoughts had been clouded. He hadn't really had a thought in his head, except the signals from his body telling him that he needed to move. To destroy. They'd been strong compulsions, and he hadn't had the logic to combat them.
Kowalski occasionally studied Rico and his mindset, just to better understand him, and that seemed very close to how his brother felt on a day to day basis. Rico was capable of thinking things through, but it took far more effort and focus for him than it did for Kowalski, or even Skipper and Private.
Kowalski had to be snapped out of his mutated behavior. From what the others had told him, the same was the case for Skipper. Rico though, they hadn't even tried to bring him back, because Skipper had thought that he was the same as he always was, albeit with a mutated body.
Kowalski had agreed with him at the time, and he hadn't thought twice about his judgement. Now though the thought made his gut churn with guilt.
"You're not a monster." Kowalski fought to keep his voice even as he held Rico tight. "You're not."
Rico whimpered pitifully and nuzzled against him. He wanted to state all of his arguments, to disprove Rico's theory, but he knew the words would go over his brother's head. Rico understood more than Kowalski often gave him credit for, but not when he was so emotional. When Rico was this upset, nothing could get through to him.
Kowalski normally didn't like extended physical contact, but he didn't have any desire to release his brother. He held onto Rico for a long time until the heftier penguin grew somewhat lax in his hold. Rico let out a loud snore. He'd exhausted himself into falling asleep. It was far from the first time something like this had happened.
Kowalski was always relieved when Rico excited himself to sleep, because it meant a break from the chaos, and usually when he woke up, he was calmer.
He didn't think that a good night's sleep would fix Rico's problem, and magically make him recognize that he was perfect just the way he was, even if there were some jarring similarities with mutants there.
Maybe Rico would be more relaxed when he woke up, and his doubts were pushed to the back of his mind, but it was just a matter of time before they came up again. It was a horrible idea to let this fester, but Kowalski didn't know how to address it.
Feeling completely useless, Kowalski lowered Rico to the ground, frowning at the way his little brother curled up. He looked so young and vulnerable. It was times like this that Kowalski remembered that while Private was the youngest, and they saw him as the baby of their family, he was only a month or two younger than the rest of them.
He still thought that Private was young. Too young to go through half the things that they put themselves through on a daily basis. But if that was true for Private, then it was almost just as true for Rico.
Kowalski sighed, feeling much older than just over ten years. He stepped back, feeling a pang when Rico whimpered in his sleep and subconsciously reached towards him, searching for that physical contact again. Kowalski grabbed Rico's blanket and teddy bear from his bunk. The floor wasn't a comfortable place to sleep, but Kowalski didn't think he was strong enough to lift him into his bunk. Especially not without waking him up.
Besides, the bunks were only big enough for one penguin each, and Kowalski thought that Rico needed close contact right now. The floor was a lot more spacious, and it could accommodate the two of them.
Kowalski threw the pillow over Rico, tucking his teddy bear under his flippers. He grabbed Rico's pillow, which he had dropped on the floor earlier. Kowalski sat on the floor, using the pillow to make himself more comfortable. He lifted Rico's head and laid it on his lap. Kowalski put one flipper across Rico's body protectively, and used the other to brush the feathers on his head.
Kowalski glared at the television, which still showed clips from the news story. He hadn't thought to grab the remote or turn the tv off before he'd made himself comfortable, and now that Rico was on him, it was too late. He had to deal with the reminder of the trauma he and his brothers had been through, and the pain it was still putting Rico through.
Kowalski turned away from the television with disgust, nuzzling his beak against Rico's neck. His brother looked pained, even in his sleep, and this was the only thing Kowalski could do to make the both of them feel better.
He didn't think he would be able to sleep. His mind was too busy as he tried to find a solution to this horrible problem. But without having an outlet for his thoughts, it was hard to resist the comfort and warmth that came with nuzzling against his brother. Eventually, Kowalski found himself dozing off.
Kowalski had always had a horrible relationship with sleep. His own rapid thoughts made it so hard to focus on not focusing. Even when his body was exhausted, his mind continued a mile a minute. And to make things worse, he struggled to wake up as well. Even when his body was awake, his brain was still half asleep. He could see and hear things, but it took him five times as long to truly process it.
When Kowalski woke up later that night, he was in his own bunk. He felt like there was something wrong about that, but he couldn't quite put his flipper on why.
He could hear Skipper talking. Kowalski's first thought was that they were being woken up for some late night training, but he soon realized that if that were the case then Skipper would have dragged him from bed by now.
Still tired, and not seeing any reason to get up, Kowalski closed his eyes and let the sound of his brother's words wash over him like white noise
"I don't know why you're watching this stuff." Skipper said. Kowalski vaguely wondered if Private was having a late-night Lunacorns marathon again. Skipper's next words dashed that theory. "You know Private doesn't like seeing those monstrous freaks."
Alarm bells were going off in Kowalski's head. He opened his eyes and rolled over so he was facing the room. It was dark, but the television was on, illuminating Skipper and Rico, who was sitting far close to the tv, his blanket wrapped around his shoulders.
"He wasn' scared." Rico said.
"Of course he was scared." Skipper said in a hushed tone that was rare to hear from him. "Everybody around him, including his brothers, were acting like psychopaths. It would be enough to scare anybody. But he put on a brave face and toughened up, because that was what the situation demanded."
Rico was quiet for a long time before he pulled the blanket closer. "Private scared of monsters?" There was a fear in his tone that sent chills down Kowalski's back. He remembered his previous conversation with Rico, and he realized just what he was asking.
But Skipper didn't know.
Kowalski sat up with a jolt, only to hit his head on the bunk above him. He fell back with a groan, dazed and needing a minute to gather himself. His brothers hadn't noticed him.
"I mean, let's be honest here, nobody likes monsters." Skipper said. His tone was so casual. Almost playful. Rico let out a wounded sound, and finally Skipper seemed to realize that something was wrong, but the damage was done.
"Nobody?" Rico's voice broke. Kowalski forced himself past his pain and got out of his bunk. He stumbled towards his brothers just as Rico dove past him and went to the ladder to leave their base. Kowalski desperately wanted to go after him, but there was something he needed to address first.
He turned on Skipper, who just looked stunned by the turn of events. Kowalski felt a deep fury that he wasn't familiar with. He was used to frustration, and he used it to motivate himself to do his work, but this was more than that. It was harsher, and it took all of his restraint to keep himself from slipping his leader to knock some sense into him.
"What is wrong with you?" Kowalski practically growled. He didn't speak this way towards Skipper, and his brother looked unnerved.
"What are you talking about?" Skipper asked.
"How could you say those things to him?" Kowalski gestured towards the ladder. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"
"No, I don't." Skipper crossed his flippers and gave Kowalski an unimpressed look. "You mind enlightening me?"
Kowalski considered for just a moment if he should keep quiet. For all he knew, Rico wasn't ready to open up about how he felt to Skipper. But Kowalski thought that this was something serious enough that they couldn't afford to keep it a secret. He didn't know how to help Rico, but maybe Skipper did.
And telling the others what was going on would at least make them more careful with their words so that none of them implied that Private was afraid of Rico and none of them liked him.
"Skipper," Kowalski gave his brother a desperate look, doing his best to convey just how serious this was. "Rico thinks he's a monster."
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far." Skipper waved his concern off. Kowalski seethed and his flippers shook as he was once again hit with the urge to hit his brother. "I mean, he's a bit of a freak, but-"
"Listen to me." Kowalski snapped. He pointed at the television. "He thinks he's no better than them."
Skipper's eyes widened as he seemed to finally consider the implications.
"Worse than that, he thinks we see him that way too." Kowalski said. Rico hadn't said as much, but Kowalski knew, because Rico often underestimated how intelligent he could be. Rico often assumed that he was the last to know something, so if he knew something as a fact, then everybody else already had that knowledge.
"What?" Skipper still looked more confused than concerned. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around this. Kowalski understood, but he didn't think that this was the right time to really think it through.
Skipper blinked, and he looked frightened. It wasn't often that Kowalski saw his brother look so uncertain. "I told him nobody liked a monster." He looked towards the ladder, a frightened look of urgency in his eyes. "Rico!"
They both ran towards the ladder, intent on finding their brother. Rico was obviously upset, and when he got worked up he needed to get his feelings out physically, because they were too overwhelming for him. Normally he would go for a drive in the car, or blow something up, but Kowalski didn't think he would do so this time.
Rico thought he was seen as a monster, and that terrified him. He would do his best to avoid doing anything to encourage that image. As for driving, Kowalski just hoped that Rico wasn't doing that, because he doubted his brother was in a stable enough emotional state to be safe in the car.
Kowalski was afraid of what state he would find Rico in, because his brother had some strong feelings right now. How were they going to come out?
Just as Kowalski and Skipper reached the ladder and were about to fight over who went up it first, they heard a harsh thud against the wall. It was hard enough that it made both of them pause and look over, though they couldn't see the source. It was outside their base.
Skipper didn't say any of his usual paranoid ramblings about trespassers. He just looked concerned, because he knew as well as Kowalski did that Rico was probably responsible, and it was impossible to know just what he'd done to make that thud.
Skipper had always had more initiative than Kowalski. He pushed him out of the way and scampered up the ladder. Kowalski was right at his heels.
"Rico!" Skipper called out. Their brother wasn't on the iceberg. Skipper looked ready to tear the whole zoo apart to find him, but Kowalski didn't think they needed to go that far. They heard another thud, just like the one from inside. It came from under the water.
Kowalski didn't stop to think about it. He slid to the edge and dove into the water. He swam as fast as he could to the source of the sound, and there he saw Rico swimming erratically and anxiously. He swam so much faster than Kowalski ever could. It was pointless to try to catch up to him.
If Rico was just swimming, there probably wouldn't be a problem with that. But the thuds had come from somewhere. If he was regurgitating underwater, he could end up seriously hurting himself or choking, and it just wasn't safe.
Kowalski tried to think of how to get his brother to stop. He tried to look for any pattern in his movements so he could catch him. He waited for Rico to go up for air. Anything that would give him the chance to catch him.
Before Kowalski could do anything, Rico swam to the outer wall of the pool before quickly flipping around and kicking off the wall, launching himself towards their iceberg platform. Too late Kowalski realized just what the thumps they had heard were.
Kowalski dove, swimming as fast as he could. He wanted to intercept Rico before he hit the wall, but he was too far. He wasn't going to make it.
It happened so quickly. Rico was barreling right towards the wall. There was a blur of black and white from above as Skipper dove off the platform, right into Rico, sending them both deeper into the pool. Kowalski imagined the collision couldn't have been comfortable for either of them, but it was the opportunity he'd been waiting for.
While Rico was dazed and confused, Kowalski grabbed his flipper and pulled him up to the surface, with Skipper right behind them. Rico gasped in some much needed air, and then he immediately started squirming and kicking as he struggled to get back under the water. He would have easily overpowered Kowalski, but he couldn't take on him and Skipper.
Between the two of them, Kowalski and Skipper were able to drag Rico back onto the iceberg. Skipper held him down in a hold that was part restraint and part hug while Kowalski looked Rico over to make sure he hadn't hurt himself badly when he dove into the wall. He had a sizable bump on his head, and one of his flippers looked a little strained, but other than that he seemed relatively fine. At least physically. Emotionally, they hadn't even started.
Rico yelled nonsense as he kicked at Skipper and whipped his head around, but their leader didn't relinquish his hold.
"Stand down, soldier." Skipper said sharply. Kowalski thought that Rico needed his brothers right now, not his team. It was a pleasant surprise when, after struggling for another minute and taking several harsh, deep breaths, Rico began to still. He wasn't so far gone that he didn't hear their brother's orders.
Rico didn't truly relax. He was still stiff, and he looked far too distressed, but he stopped fighting them. Skipper relaxed his hold, though he didn't let Rico go completely. "There you go." Skipper sounded calm and proud. He understood better than Kowalski did just how hard it was for Rico to control himself sometimes. Skipper demanded a lot from them, because he knew what they were capable of, but he wasn't afraid to acknowledge their limitations.
Rico nuzzled against Skipper, much like he had with Kowalski earlier. Skipper humored him and he waited patiently for Rico to calm down a little more. Kowalski watched them, feeling a little awkward. He did his best to provide comfort, but it was clear that Skipper was much better suited for this kind of thing.
After several long minutes Skipper pulled away from Rico, looking him in the eye. "I need you to listen to me carefully, okay?" Rico nodded. "You are not a monster."
Rico looked like he was about to start crying again. "But-"
"No." Skipper held up a flipper, not allowing for argument. "No buts. You are not a monster. You're maybe a bit of a freak, but I wouldn't have you any other way."
Kowalski didn't think they should be calling Rico a freak either, but he seemed to believe Skipper's words more than he'd believed Kowalski's.
Feeling like he needed to do something more to help his brother, Kowalski put in his two cents. "I know you act similarly to the mutated penguins, and there are a lot of people who thought that the mutants were monstrous, but I don't think that's entirely fair."
Rico looked at Kowalski, confusion in his eyes. He had to take a second to figure out how to explain his thoughts in a way that his brother would understand. He didn't want to mess this up.
"Just look at what everybody says about penguins." Kowalski said. "They think we're cute, cuddly, and completely helpless. And we all know that's not necessarily true. Maybe it's the case for some penguins, but not us. And if Penguins don't have to be as helpless as they say, then why do the mutated penguins have to be monstrous?"
Rico blinked, and he looked like he was actually thinking about it. Skipper gave Kowalski a proud look.
"...Not monster?" Rico looked down at his flippers. "Not evil?"
"Definitely not." Kowalski said. Skipper shook his head.
"In fact, I think of all of us, you were the least like a monster." Skipper said. Rico made a squawk of confusion. "Just think about it for a second. When Private first came to me, I didn't even recognize him. I was too absorbed in the chaos in my head to even notice what was right in front of my beak."
Kowalski nodded. He'd experienced the same thing. Rico seemed to understand as well. Kowalski knew how hard Rico fought to keep his control, and he didn't always succeed.
"It took a bit to break through to Kowalski." Skipper said. "You though, We barely had to do more than say your name. You weren't really destroying things or scaring people. You were just getting a bite to eat. And you focused the second you saw Private. You had far more control than either of us."
"Even when you were fully mutated, you didn't lose yourself." Kowalski looked at his brother in a new light. "I wish I had that sense of self-control and confidence."
Skipper rolled his eyes. "I don't think the world could take it if your ego was any bigger than it already is." He looked at Rico. "But he's right. You know who you are, and you don't try to be someone you're not. That's an admirable trait. And so what if others think you're a little monstrous? You've never cared about their opinion before. Why start now?"
Rico gave them a small smile. There was still a pain and uncertainty in his eyes, but he seemed to believe their words, at least a little. That was the great thing about Rico. As rebellious as he could be sometimes, he was an excellent follower. He accepted the words of his superiors as law. He trusted them implicitly.
And it was fine if he didn't believe them completely, or if he fell back on this doubt and self-deprecation. Now that they were aware of the problem, they could catch it if it came up again.
"Rico, if you start thinking like this, I need you to tell us." Kowalski said. "We can help."
"What he said." Skipper gave Rico a stern look. "I don't want to see you hurting yourself again. Do you understand?"
Rico gave them a sheepish look as he nodded. It was clear that he hadn't had the intention of hurting himself. It had just happened because he hadn't known how else to get his feelings out. It was still concerning, but at least he didn't have to worry about his brother harming himself on purpose. That would be a whole new set of problems.
"You know, I think we're going to need a team bonding day tomorrow." Skipper said. "It's long overdue." Kowalski had mixed feelings about team bonding exercises and excursions. He thought they were unnecessary, as they were already close-knit as a team, and these forced exercises strained things more than bringing them together. On the other hand, things were tense right now. They were all struggling after what had happened with Dave, and maybe team building and bonding was just what they needed.
They started to make their way back into their base, but then Skipper paused. "One more thing. In the morning I think we need to talk to Private about this whole thing."
Rico argued and whined, and Kowalski understood his hesitance. It was hard for any of them to show weakness, but especially in front of their younger brother.
"I don't want any secrets between us." Skipper said. "And I know we keep forgetting, but Private's not a little kid. He's just as much a part of this team as any of the rest of us."
Rico didn't look happy, but he wasn't going to fight with Skipper about this. He gave a reluctant nod as they went inside. Rico picked up his blanket from the ground and climbed into his bunk. Kowalski wished their bunks were big enough for him to join Rico. He thought they both needed the comfort right now.
He did the next best thing. Kowalski put a hand on his brother's back. "You're just fine. And even when you're not okay, you're still my brother, and nothing will ever change that.
Rico nodded and rolled over to face him. He wrapped his flippers around Kowalski, embracing him. Kowalski hugged him back.
"Tha'k you." Rico choked out. "And 'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Kowalski said, and he completely meant it. It wasn't Rico's fault that he was upset. Kowalski blamed himself for not noticing this build for so long. He wasn't going to make a mistake like that again.
Kowalski reluctantly got into his own bunk. He really was tired, and he felt better now than he did before. He was more optimistic about tomorrow than he had been earlier, and that made it a lot easier to fall asleep.
Things were far from perfect, but that had always been the case for their team. They were four misfits who found a home and a family with each other. They made a lot of mistakes, but tomorrow was always another day, and they would get through it together. They always did.