Hello all! Here is chapter 2! Hope you are enjoying this story so far because I've been having a fun time writing it and getting to know this version of our favorite boys more. And I gotta admit, I love me a bit of family angst lol.
Also, I'm having this weird issue where isn't sending me notifications for anything, so if you have a specific question that you'd like me to answer, your best bet would be to ask me on AO3 as I'm posting this on there as well.
Anyways! Thank you all for reading!
Happy reading!
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BANG! SLAM!
My eyes snap open with my heart pounding and my head aching as loud noises drift into my room. Confused, I drag myself upright in bed. My fists rub at my grainy and aching eyes, and I clear my dry throat. A frown tugs on my lips when light pours into my room.
Shell. What time is it? I could have sworn I just laid down. There's no way that it's morning already! I just closed my eyes! I don't even think I've journeyed to the land of sleep at all.
Definitely doesn't feel like it.
Pursing my lips, I struggle to roll out of bed as another round of banging fills the lair. Banging that sounds suspiciously like pots and pans.
"Shell, are my bros trying to cook again?" I whisper, coughing slightly as the words catch in my throat. I press my hand to my forehead when a sharp pain zips through my skull at the movement.
Knowing what happened the last time my bros tried cooking anything that isn't pizza, I stagger out of my room. Only to hiss as the bright lights of the lair burn my eyes. Squinting, I follow the sound of arguing and shuffling around. I do my best to shake out my limbs as they barely cooperate with me as I move across the main area toward the off-tune symphony of bangs. A loud curse has me pausing in the kitchen entrance and I blink in shock.
All three of my bros are moving about the kitchen, each covered in a different amount of flour and suspicious white goop. Leonardo is holding a wooden bowl and spoon, stirring vigorously while Raphael rummages through the cabinets, obviously searching for something. Donatello has a cookbook open at the table and is holding a still intact egg over another bowl. His tongue is sticking out as he reads over the page before him.
My hands fly to my cheeks as I take in the grotesque scene before me.
My…MY KITCHEN!
"Wha-What are you dudes doing?!" I croak out in horror when something white and mushy drips from the ceiling and splats onto the counter. "What have you done to my kitchen?!"
My throat burns as I talk and I clear it again, trying to ease the ache.
Yikes. No talking until I drink something.
All three of my bros freeze, staring at me with wide eyes.
It would almost be funny how my big bros look, like three kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. But right at this moment? My brain is too foggy from just waking up and I just can't process what my big bros think they're doing in MY kitchen. Or what the stuff on the walls and ceiling is supposed to be.
Another large glob falls from the ceiling and, almost like a switch, my bros all start talking at once.
"It was Fearless's idea—!"
"Was not! We all agreed—!"
"Well, you see, we were hungry, and you were still sleeping—"
Overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of noise, I shrink back and squeeze my eyes shut as I press a hand to my forehead. Too much… Can't process… Why is everything so loud?
"What is going on out here?!"
Instantly, my bros all stop talking and I crack an eye open to find Master Splinter standing in the entryway of the dojo. A deep frown mars his face as my bros peek their heads out and I move to have my shell against the wall next to the kitchen entrance to allow them room to exit. Guilt radiates from my older bros as Sensei's eyes narrow, taking in their dirty appearances. I duck my head when he looks over at me and I shuffle in place.
"Would one of you care to explain to me what all that commotion was?" Master Splinter asks, ears twitching as he slowly descends the stairs, unamused. "And why in the world are the three of you covered in batter and yelling at your brother?"
My three bros exchange a look, all shooting me a brief glance before Leonardo sheepishly steps forward. My eyes trail some white glop on his shell as it slides down.
That's supposed to be batter?!
"W-W-Well," Leonardo starts, clearing his throat as he glances back at us over his shoulder. Raphael shrugs and Donatello offers him an encouraging thumbs up. "When Michelangelo didn't wake up to make us breakfast, we, uh, we thought that it would be a nice surprise if we made breakfast instead. And, um, we… we didn't think making pancakes would be so hard." Leonardo shrugs helplessly. "Since, you know, we've all watched you and Michelangelo make them in the past." Leonardo rubs the back of his head. "And we weren't trying to yell at Michelangelo, merely explain what we were doing." Leonardo shoots me an apologetic smile over his shoulder. "I'm sorry if it felt like we were yelling at you, Little Brother. We didn't mean to."
My lips quirk into a smile and I nod while waving a dismissive hand, relieved that I hadn't done anything to cause the yelling. Leonardo stares at me while I continue to smile, resisting the urge to rub my throat. There is a beat of silence before confusion spreads on Leonardo's face when the two of us just stand here, staring at each other. When he realizes that I'm not gonna say anything, he looks back at Master Splinter. I glance back at our sensei as well, only to find him also looking in my direction.
For a horrifying moment, more horrifying than being told that all pizza places are closing, I fear that he's going to ask about my walk last night. But just as fast as I notice him looking at me, he turns his gaze back to my bros.
Master Splinter sighs and shakes his head, a wary but amused look quickly replacing the frown he was just wearing.
"My students," he starts and my heart squeezes painfully and I force myself not to wince. "While I am sure your brother appreciates you going out of your way to make breakfast so that he could sleep a little longer, I think he would appreciate it even more if you would not destroy the kitchen or waste our food in doing so."
I force myself to remain mentally present and nod again when Sensei gestures toward me and my bros follow the action. There is another pause, as if everyone is expecting me to add commentary, but my throat is still aching, and I don't wanna give them the wrong impression if I croak out my words. I just need to drink a nice tall glass of water and I'll be all good to go.
Sensing that I'm not gonna speak, Master Splinter continues.
"Now, my students. This is what we are going to to do. Since the three of you made the mess, it will be on the three of you to clean up the kitchen. Once that is done, I expect the three of you to wash up for I do not want any of that…" Master Splinter gestures vaguely at my big brothers. "Batter trailed into my dojo. And while you are washing up, Michelangelo and I shall start on breakfast. Once that is all said and done, we may begin training. Understood?"
"Yes, Sensei," my oldest three bros say in unison, bowing. I bow alongside them before watching as they head back into the kitchen.
"Man, who knew that a little batter could go a long way?" Raphael asks as he wipes some goop off his face. "Looks like we struck out with this one."
My lips quirk at the twin groans from Leonardo and Donatello. A snicker emits from my red-cladded brother, and he nudges our other brothers as they bat at him.
"Michelangelo?"
Jumping, I turn toward Master Splinter with wide eyes. My heart leaps into my throat as dark eyes study me, eyebrows furrowing.
Oh shell.
He knows I left last night is tots gonna call me out on it. And then I'm gonna have to discuss why I left because he'll want a reason but it's so early in the morning and I'm not ready! My brain is so foggy and I'm so thirsty and I haven't even thought about what I'm gonna—
"Michelangelo."
A warm hand touches my cheek and I refocus on my sensei. My snout twitches as Master Splinter narrows his eyes as he watches me.
"Y-Y-Yes?"
His whiskers twitch at my soft reply and he cocks his head.
"You are awfully quiet, young one. Are you feeling all right?" Master Splinter pauses as I offer him a confused look while nodding. "Are you certain? You feel a little warm to me. Do you have a headache? Aches? Pains?"
Warm? I still feel a little cold, honestly.
Seeing my confusion deepen and I shake my head 'no', mentally wincing when the bandage pulls with the movement, Sensei's hand drops from my cheek but his concern remains.
"Well, if you just woke up that is probably why you are feeling warm." Master Splinter's lips form a small smile. "If you are absolutely certain that you are feeling all right, my student, then I believe you. Please come to me if you are not feeling well. We do not want you overworking yourself when you are not feeling your best. But if you truly are feeling all right, then I suggest you go and finish getting dressed while your brothers finish cleaning. Then we shall meet in the kitchen to make breakfast.
"Dressed?" I ask softly, eye ridges furrowing as I glance down. What is he talking about? I have my belt and pads on.
Master Splinter tilts his head, cocking an eyebrow at me.
"You are missing your mask, young one."
My hand flies to my face and I wince. Shell! How'd I forget my little amigo?! Hopefully it's dry by now.
Master Splinter chuckles, shaking his head as my face warms and a sheepish look forms. Without another word, he motions for me to head back to my room before entering the kitchen. A heavy sigh emits from the older mutant, and I can't help but giggle. It's not often we hear that particular sigh from Master Splinter. It usually happens when we do something that makes Sensei shake his head and mutter about "youngsters nowadays."
Do parents also make that same sigh when seeing a mess that their kids made? I think as I work my way back over to my room. I sniffle softly and scratch at my tickling snout. Or do all older people make that noise toward younger people? I could have sworn that April has made the same noise toward us a few times. But she tends to sigh a lot when it comes to us, so sometimes it's hard to tell them apart.
Frowning, I waddle over to my desk and pick up my mask. My lips twitch as I run my fingers over the fabric. It's still a little damp but if I give it a few more minutes, I'm sure it'll be dry. It'll definitely be dry by the time we have training.
Shrugging, I gingerly wrap the orange fabric around my eyes. I don't tie it as tightly as I usually do, the goose egg and cut on the back of my head instantly aching at even the light pressure I've just applied.
I pause for a second to check myself in the mirror above my dresser. My mask doesn't look any different than usual, so I offer myself a tired thumbs up.
Sighing, I grab my nunchakus from under my pillow and shove them into my belt. I check myself again, wincing when I realize that I never took my pads off last night. Meaning they were all wet still. Not cool, dude. But it's not anything new. Wouldn't be the first and won't be last. I'll just have to make sure to wash my sheets later, just in case.
Hopefully my sheets aren't too damp.
Shaking my head, I exit my room and work my way back over to the kitchen. Poking my head in, relief hits me when the surfaces sparkle back. Oh, thank the pizza chef. My bros managed to clean my entire kitchen.
Sighing happily, I enter the space and head for the sink. Washing my hands, I quickly grab a glass and fill it with water. Sipping the cool liquid, I feel it go all the way down into my gut. My snout wrinkles as my stomach rolls slightly but I shove it away. I'm sure I'm just overly hungry, that's all. Sometimes when I get too hungry, I get all puky, so I'll just have to let my stomach make peace with itself before I try putting more than water inside it.
Placing my glass into the sink, I wash my hands one last time before heading to the fridge, thoughts of what to make swirling in my tired mind.
My bros wanted to have pancakes but that's gonna take too long. They do, however, always enjoy eggs and bacon. And April brought us some fresh fruit earlier this week, so I can put those into a tiny bowl for everyone.
Plucking out the ingredients, I gently close the fridge and start moving about the kitchen. A small part of my brain mentions that I should turn the lights back on so that I can see better but I know the layout of the kitchen like the back of my skateboard.
Grabbing the pans I need, I swiftly start cracking eggs to scramble them. My lips purse when I notice just how many eggs we are now missing due to my bros trying to make breakfast. Taking a deep breath, I reach up and gingerly rub the space between my eyes. A tired smile tugs on my lips. I can't be too mad. They were just trying to be nice.
"Ah, I see you have already started, Michelangelo."
Jumping, I turn as Master Splinter re-enters the space. My eyes squint as my master flicks the light on, the sudden shift burning a little. Yikes. Think I've been in the dark for too long. Blinking rapidly, I refocus on my sensei as he glides into the kitchen. There is a small smile on his face as he glances at the ingredients I have spread out on the table.
"Scrambled eggs and bacon with fruit." Master Splinter nods. "Excellent choice, my student."
My throat tightens and it feels like an arrow piercing through my chest at my sensei's words. Trying to breathe through the sudden ache, I force a smile and nod as I resume stirring the eggs.
"Michelangelo?"
"Yes?" I call out, happy to hear my voice slightly back to normal. Still a little scratchy but nothing more water won't fix that.
"What do you need me to start, my student?"
My jaw clenches and I have to mentally remind myself that it isn't fair to be hurt by that phrase when I haven't even discussed my problem with my sensei yet.
"Would… would you be willing to start cutting up some of the fruit?" I ask, moving over to grab the bacon to add it to the other pan. "I think we have little bowls near the fridge."
I keep my eyes on the stove as Master Splinter moves around behind me. I nearly jump out of my skin when he pats my shell as he walks by.
Just keep your cool. You can talk to Sensei after training. No reason to stress him out more after the snaffoo that my big bros just put him through this fine morning.
My eyes flicker to the digital clock over the stove.
I wince.
It's already 7:30? I didn't think I slept for that long! No wonder my bros tried to make breakfast! Normally, I have breakfast finished by 7, ready for when Leonardo finishes his early morning meditation and extra training.
"I have finished cutting the fruit, my student," Master Splinter says, his soft voice pulling me from my thoughts. I barely hold back my flinch when I move my head too quickly as I glance back at him.
My eyes flicker to the neatly cut fruit in five tiny bowls. Forcing a happy look, I look back at Master Splinter.
"That's mondo awesome, Sensei. Gracias." I flip the bacon before turning down the heat. I clear my throat as I continue. "Would… would you get me down some plates? The eggs and bacon are pretty much done."
Master Splinter pauses, his ears twitching as I talk. His eyes narrow and I quickly turn back toward the cooking food, nerves dancing in my chest.
Why is he looking at me like that? Is the void telling him about my late-night stroll? But why? I've been like tots good! No reason for him to be suspicious. Like, I'm sure once I talk to Sensei like April said I should he'll figure it out and I'll be grounded for like the rest of my life, but he shouldn't know just yet.
"Michelangelo," Master Splinter starts softly, my shoulders tensing when he shifts closer, concern filling the air. "Is everything—"
"Yo, Michelangelo," Raphael's voice cuts in and I sag at my hotheaded bro's impeccable timing. "Smells great, bro."
Raphael enters the kitchen with Donatello just behind him. Both smelling fresh and like our soap with not a single speck of batter left on them. Donatello heads to the coffee machine, which already has coffee in it, and swiftly pours himself a mug.
"And where is Leonardo?" Master Splinter asks as Raphael sits at the table and I mentally cheer that he doesn't push our previous conversation. Sensei moves and grabs five plates down as Raphael slumps back in his seat.
"Fearless needed to wipe off his belt as some of our failed pancakes decided to take residence there for later."
"But Leonardo almost had it out by the time the two of us left so he should be joining us here shortly," Donatello adds, sipping his liquid lifeline, clutching the mug to his chest as he takes a seat.
I turn in time to watch as Sensei sets the plates on to the table. Donatello meets my eye and smiles at me as I approach, pan of eggs in hand. He leans forward, studying the golden fluff with a grin.
"Scrambled eggs? Brilliant choice, bro!"
My chest warms at the praise, and I smile bashfully as I scoop some of the golden fluffy goodness onto his plate. Sensei appears next to me, plating some bacon for my brainiac brother. Afraid that Sensei might try starting our convo over again, I swiftly move onto my hotheaded brother as casually as possible.
My stomach clenches as silence falls over us and I feel three sets of eyes on me. Donatello is probably weirded out by me not saying anything, but I'm scared if I continue talking that the void is gonna spill more of my secrets to Sensei and I can't let that happen! I need to be the one to talk to Sensei! It might not come off correctly if the void tells him everything. I need to make sure he understands how I'm feeling and that it's okay if he doesn't see us as sons. I don't want him being weirded out by it and thinking my bros also think this way too. So, he needs to know that it's okay. That… it's… okay…
"Yo, Knucklehead!"
"Huh?"
Jumping, I shoot Raphael a wide-eyed look, flinching as the movement jars my head. The hothead cocks an eye ridge at me as he reaches up and grabs my wrists, shifting my hands back over the table.
"As much as I love your scrambled eggs, Doofus," Raphael starts dryly and heat spreads across my face as some eggs splat onto his plate. "I prefer them on a plate. Not my lap."
"S-Sorry, Dude," I stammer out quietly with a nervous laugh. "Wasn't… wasn't paying attention. Brain went on vacation. Heh."
"When ISN'T your brain on vacation?" Raphael teases but I can feel him watching me even closer as I finish plating his eggs.
Unnerved, I quickly move onto Leonardo's plate with the eggs as Master Splinter moves to give Raphael his share of bacon.
"Good morning, Leonardo," Sensei suddenly says as I shift, and I glance up.
My eldest brother smiles as he enters the kitchen, but I can see a strange look on his face. His brown eyes shift in my direction, and I quickly duck my head as he takes his seat at the table.
"Good morning, Sensei. Long time no see," Leonardo jokes, glancing at the food on his plate. "Thank you for the food, Michelangelo. Sorry to have left you and Sensei to make breakfast again."
Shrugging, I plate for Sensei, adding a little bit more than usual as I'm suddenly not very hungry.
"It's no problemo, Dude."
Once I have a small mound on my plate, I distribute the fruit as my bros chatter among themselves. Well… more of Raphael and Donatello chat while Leonardo only talks when addressed. I can feel his gaze on my shell as I move to fill up the kettle so that Leonardo and Sensei can have tea. Almost like he's waiting for something. And it's like tots unnerving having my eldest brother, who I'm pretty sure Sensei imbued some of his mystical and magical powers onto so he can use it to talk to the void too, staring at me. But why is the void being so uncool? Why is it trying to call me out? I don't wanna drag my bros into my stupid worries and thoughts.
I'm sure my bros have no worries about what Sensei calls or thinks about us, I think sadly, placing two clean mugs next to the stove and scooping my bro's and Sensei's favorite tea into it.
"Michelangelo," Sensei calls out gently. "Come sit. Leonardo and I can deal with our teas. Let us start eating before your hard work gets cold, my student."
I bite the inside of my bottom lip as another piece of my heart breaks.
Focus, Michelangelo. Fake the smile until it becomes real. Be mondo uncool of you to ruin breakfast over some silly worries.
Slipping into my seat, I offer everyone at the table a smile. Leonardo eyes me but I skim my eyes over his face as we wait for Sensei's okay to start eating. He glances at each of us, and I can't quite meet his gaze either. When I see him nod, I place my hands together like my bros and softly say,
"Itadakimasu".
"It has been a while since the five of us were able to sit down and have a meal together," Master Splinter comments, breaking the silence that almost fell over us as I poke at my eggs with my fork.
"Indeed, Sensei," Leonardo says, scooping up one of his pieces of bacon. "I'm glad we were able to today."
"Same. Too bad it was because we destroyed breakfast," Donatello adds, chuckling as he finally puts his mug down to also start eating.
Master Splinter nods, humming as he bites into his bacon. He glances around the table causing me to drop my eyes again. The kettle whistles when he swallows, and Leonardo swiftly stands to start fixing his and Sensei's tea.
"I do believe we should continue to do this together," Master Splinter comments, addressing each of us. I duck my head causing the bandages to pull. I abandon my eggs to nibble on one of my bacon pieces when we make eye contact briefly. "I believe it will help strengthen our bond even more. And a good way to begin the morning before training."
I side eye my sensei.
I mean, that's a good sign, right? That's something families do. Having a meal together. Sensei sometimes joins us for supper but making breakfast a normal thing to have together is like a normal family thing, right? So, like, that tots HAS to be a sign that he wants to be a family. Why else would Sensei want to eat with us?
My lips twitch into a frown as I glance down at the bacon, still not feeling overly hungry. And the smell is making my stomach flip.
Am I really that nervous? I think as I place the bacon back down and reach for the fruit, hoping that maybe the strawberries and cantaloupe will settle my stomach. I can't train on an empty stomach and my bros will be suspicious and know that something is up if I don't eat.
It's mondo grando. Sensei and I will chat, and I'll just eat something later.
I stab a piece of orange cantaloupe and shove it into my mouth.
And almost gag.
I mentally whine when even the fruit feels heavy on my tongue, the usual sweetness nearly too sweet for me at the moment. This is like mega unfair. Cantaloupe is one of my favorite fruits! I specifically asked April to get it for us and here I am, too nervous to even enjoy it.
I tilt my head to the side as I force myself to chew, knowing that if I spit it out my bros are gonna get the wrong idea. The bandages under my mask shift as I move and finally swallow. My skin crawls and the adhesive tugs in a way that doesn't feel the greatest. My hand moves to the back of my head, my skin itching and needing to relieve the weird sensation. Rubbing at the knot of my mask, my snout wrinkles as the itch doesn't quite go away.
"Michelangelo?"
Jerking, I glance up at the sound of Leonardo's voice. We make eye contact briefly when I realize that the entire kitchen is silent. My stomach swoops when I realize EVERYONE at the table is watching me.
"What… What's up, dudes? Something wrong with the food?" I ask, doing my best to act casual.
The frowns that stare back at me has my stomach sinking and my heart rate spiking. Mega yikes. One would think that I just committed the worst act of them all, denouncing pizza, by how my bros are acting.
"Dudes?"
Donatello leans forward, reaching out for my wrist. Concerned hazel eyes study me as I stare back in confusion.
"Are you feeling all right, Michelangelo?"
Tilting my head, I ignore the way the bandages move as I study my brainy bro.
"Course, Dude! Why wouldn't I be?"
"Maybe it's 'cause you haven't eaten anything, Chucklehead," Raphael jumps in, eyes narrowing as he gestures toward my plate with his fork.
My mouth dries a little as I follow the movement. He's right. I've barely touched anything. Shell. I was really hoping they wouldn't notice.
"And considering that you're usually the first one done, you can see why we're concerned that you haven't even started yet, correct? Most of us are already halfway done," Donatello adds, leaning closer. "Are you feeling sick?"
Unsure what to say, I glance down at my plate and wince. The eggs have only been shifted around my plate except for the one fork full I took earlier.
Uh oh. Okay. Don't panic, Mikester. All you need to do is think of something believable and your bros will drop it. There is no reason for me to tell them that I'm nervous to talk with Sensei when they don't even know that I want to talk with him in the first place.
Clearing my throat, I shake my head and do my best to seem as chirper as possible.
"What? Nah. I'm not sick! I'm just… excited for… a new comic book!"
Leonardo frowns as he stares me down, light brown eyes narrowing in suspicion.
"A new comic book?" He echoes back and I quickly nod, hating how the bandages make my skin itch more with each nod but I don't bother stopping now.
"Totally, Dude! A new comic book I've been waiting for is supposed to come out today and April promised to go with me to get it as she wanted to do a story on the launch," I lie, my stomach squeezing as I stare down at my plate. It's just a little white lie. It won't hurt anything. "And… I guess I'm just so stoked that it's making it hard to eat. I want to start training so that I can meet up with her and get that comic book!"
I cross my toes under the table, hoping beyond hoping that the void doesn't spill the beans to my bros or Sensei. I'll admit to Sensei once I can talk to him that what I said was a lie, but I don't want to discuss this at the table. Not until I can hear from Sensei himself if he's comfortable being seen as a 'Dad' or if he'd be angry if I call him that. And… And if I'm the only one out of all of us that is feeling this way, I don't wanna deal with my bros teasing. Because, I can deal with them making cracks at my brain, because, well, I've earned a lot of those jokes and I've grown accustomed to them. But this? This feels too personal. Too important. And I don't think I'd be able to handle them teasing me about this. Let alone try and be able to explain to them why this is important to ME.
I keep my gaze steady as I glance around the table and after a moment, my bros start to relax. Master Splinter, however, has an unreadable look on his face as he watches me.
Raphael suddenly leans forward, a smirk on his face as he addresses me.
"Then… if you don't wanna finish your food… I'd be more than happy to finish them eggs and bacon for you. As your favorite brother and all we can't let your hard work go to waste."
Before I can even open my mouth, an explosion of noise fills the air as both Leonardo and Donatello venomously deny Raphael's offer.
"You his favorite brother?! Since when?" Donatello exclaims, turning toward me as I stare on with wide eyes. "Michelangelo, obviously Raphael is just trying to coerce you into giving him your food. Don't fall for that trap. Besides if anyone is your favorite brother, it's obviously me as I—"
"Excuse me?" Leonardo cuts in, pointing a fork at our purple-cladded brother. "And why on earth would you be his favorite brother? And don't you dare try to guilt him into giving you his food by listing all of the things that you've fixed for him. That is just a low blow. Michelangelo should be allowed to choose if he wants to even share his food with us or if he wants to save it for later. Because, if he doesn't eat it now, with his metabolism, he IS going to get hungry later." Leonardo turns toward me, smiling softly. "Michelangelo, you don't have to share your food with anyone if you don't want to. If you want to save it for when you get back from getting your comic book, then that's fine. I'll even help you place it into a container."
"Now hold it right there! You're just trying to butter him up, Fearless," Raphael accuses, narrowing his eyes at our eldest brother as a strange feeling starts morphing in my gut the longer they talk. "So, who is trying coerce him now, huh?"
My shoulders hunch up to my nonexistent ears as my bros continue to argue, each claiming to be my favorite brother and giving reasons to have my food. Normally, I would be laughing at just how hard my bros are trying to get me to give them my portion of breakfast. Because it almost never happens as I'm usually the first one done. But right now? All of this noise is just… upsetting. And it's making this weird pressure in my chest build and my forehead aches whenever the volume escalates in pitch. And it's just getting to be too mu—
"ENOUGH!"
My heart leaps into my throat as my three bros jump. All of us look over at Master Splinter. His ears are flat against his head and his eyes narrow as he scans my suddenly sheepish older brothers.
"My students," Master Splinter starts, and I quickly drop my gaze. "All of this arguing is unacceptable and getting out of hand. Instead of arguing over who gets Michelangelo's portion of breakfast, I think that the three of you should merely ASK your brother who he would like to share his portion with. And that is only IF he is willing to share. He also has every right to save it for later as the four of you do have patrol tonight for a few hours. Now, Michelangelo," Master Splinter turns his gaze toward me, and my three big brothers follow. "Would you like to provide your portion to your brothers? Or would you like to save it for later?"
Biting my bottom lip, I shift uneasily as everyone's eyes burn into me. I shoot a look at my uneaten food, the thought of even trying to scarf it down right now turns my stomach and I know that it'll only stop once I speak to Master Splinter.
And my bros are almost always sharing their food with me when I finish before them…
Making up my mind, I grab my fork and cut up my two pieces of bacon into fourths. I then split my eggs into four equal piles and stand.
"Michelangelo?" Leonardo calls out but I remain silent as I move around the table, giving my family eat equal portions from my plate.
It's quiet when I return to my seat, plate empty and I pull my bowl of fruit closer to me.
"There," I state, beaming at everyone as I clear my throat again. "Now everyone got a portion. I'll save my bowl of fruit for later and all of you can have the eggs and bacon. I'm sure I'll be mondo distracted later so having to heat up eggs and bacon is just a no go, dudes. But fruit is meant to be cold, so it's a win-win!"
Silence follows my words and I fight to keep my chirper expression in place. My bros look both confused and flabbergasted that I would just divide my food up like that while Master Splinter has a sparkle in his eyes that I just can't place. After a beat, embarrassment starts to creep back in and I turn to stare down at the table, clearing my throat again before grabbing my drink and sipping it.
Why won't this ache go away? I can't talk to Sensei if I'm croaking all over the place! I think as I try to distract myself from the weirdness falling over my bros. It's like, mega distracting and tots unnerving. While I enjoy having their attention on me, I like it when I'm looking for it. Not because I was just trying to be nice and stop the arguing.
Master Splinter clears his throat, regaining all of our attention. He peers down at us over his nose.
"I do believe that your brother has made his decision. Now, it is impolite to stare. So, I would suggest the three of you start eating while your brother wraps up his fruit for later." Master Splinter turns his gaze fully on me, softening a little. "Thank you, young one. This was very kind of you. If you would like, once you are done wrapping your fruit, you may head to the dojo and start stretching. The four of us will meet you there."
Swallowing thickly, I nod and stand as my bros start eating like starved animals. Acting as though I would take the food back. Which is like a mondo weird. I would never take food away from my bros or sensei. That would just be…wrong.
My snout twitches as I grab tinfoil and wrap the bowl up. My heart pounds as I place the fruit into the fridge.
"Meet you dudes in the dojo!" I chirp, wincing as my voice cracks a little.
Luckily, it doesn't seem like anyone notices as they continue to eat and make small talk. Sensei sits at the table, sipping his tea, looking as though he is watching my brothers, but I can feel his gaze as I exit the kitchen.
Once in the main area, I sag. That coulda been like mondo bad. I feel kinda guilty about lying to my bros, I just need more time. Get Sensei's take on all of this "Dad" stuff and then, if it goes well, I'll tell my bros. If it goes poorly, I keep it all to myself. Easy peasy, lemon-squeezed sausage and ham pizza.
Upon entering the dojo, I walk to the middle of the room and start stretching. My mouth twitches into a frown when my head buzzes as I lean down to touch my toes. Halfway down, I stop and just dangle my arms there. It's not the best stretch job that I've ever done, kinda half-shelling it until my bros get in here. Leonardo would have my shell if he saw just how lazy I was being with this, and Donatello would spout about the importance of stretching and not injuring myself. Raphael would probably tell me that it'd be my own fault if I pull something. Which is like mondo fine. I just want to get training over and done with so that I can chat with Sensei. I'm gonna go mega insane if I don't just get this over and done with.
Voices filtering into the dojo has me putting more effort into my stretching. My head protests the movement, but I push through it as to not draw suspicion toward me as my bros make their way over to me. Raphael nudges me as he sits down and starts stretching as well. I flash him a chirper expression. He doesn't say anything further as Sensei enters the dojo, an air of calm following him. I keep my head down as Sensei passes to stand before us.
"I shall give the four of you two more minutes of stretching before we shall begin," Master Splinter states, calmly clasping his hands behind his back. "Today, I think we shall forgo katas today and go straight into sparring before ending with meditation. Since the four of you have had a very busy last few days, I want to keep your training light for now." A mischievous smirk forms on our teacher's face. "But do not expect tomorrow's training to be this light."
I see pouts form on Donatello and Raphael's face while Leonardo merely nods, a determined look on his face. I'm not sure how to feel. I know that tomorrow I'll be beyond sad about having more intensive training but I'm just too distracted. Too many thoughts in my mind right now.
And hopefully I'll have a longer time in Snoozeville tonight, I think as Sensei signals that training is about to begin.
"Donatello. You and Raphael shall spar first," Sensei states. A wide smirk forms on my hotheaded brother's face as he and our brainy bro take the center of the dojo, weapons at the ready.
"Ready to journey into Pound Town, bro?" Raphael asks, pulling his sais from his belt and twirling them. Donatello chuckles as he rotates his bo.
"I think the better question is, are you?"
Leonardo and I kneel off to the side as our bros wait for Sensei's signal.
"Hajimemasu*!"
I try to keep my focus on my sparring bros as they rush each other. However, the longer they dance around each other, the more my eyes wander over to Master Splinter. He is standing on the other side of Leonardo so I have to be careful, otherwise my older brother will think that I'm some wacko who is just watching him. But I can't help it! Part of me is trying to gauge Sensei's mood right now. He was pretty happy during breakfast once the kitchen was clean, and he doesn't seem to be too upset with how the sparring session is going.
Sensei's ears suddenly twitch, and he turns my way. I swiftly turn my eyes forward, cheeks burning just as Donatello vaults over Raphael as he tries to tackle the brainiac. Donatello turns as he lands and rushes our hotheaded brother. Raphael rolls out of the way just as our brainy bro brings his bo staff down, the wood bouncing off of the cushioned floor. My fingers press into the padding and the thoughts of April's plush carpet in her bedroom comes to mind. In my mind's eye, I can see the tan of the padded floor transform into plush carpet that I would love to just wiggle my toes in.
"Ooof!"
Jumping, I refocus on my two brawling bros just as Raphael hits the floor. Donatello lands on top of him, pinning him down with his body weight as he points the end of his bo in our hotheaded brother's face. Both are breathing heavily with Raphael glaring up at a smirking Donatello.
"Uncle?" Donatello asks, cocking an eye ridge and Raphael rolls his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah." Raphael sighs. "Uncle."
Grinning, Donatello leaps up, triumphantly and extends his hand for our downed bro to take. There is half a beat that I'm afraid that Raphael is gonna be a sour puss, but he takes Donatello's hand in his and allows himself to be pulled from the floor. He catches Donatello in headlock when he stands, rubbing his knuckles on our bro's price possession.
"Nice fight, bro."
Red spreads across our bro's cheeks at the praise as he laughs, shoving at Raphael's arm.
"Michelangelo. Leonardo. You are next," Master Splinter states, nodding toward the floor as Donatello and Raphael walk over us.
Biting my lip, I stand from my spot, wincing as my vision spots a little in the corners. Leonardo beats me to the center of the dojo, drawing his swords as he watches me silently. I do my best to be as bouncy as usual as I pull my nunchakus from my belt. Not gonna lie. I'm mega worried about how my head is gonna handle sparring right now, the head rushes I was experiencing from just stretching and standing just now are a tad concerning.
But it's Leonardo, I think as I get into position, grinning. He's not gonna hurt me. Once I'm down he'll just stop so I got nothing to worry about. All I gotta do is lose here quickly and we can start meditating and then Sensei and I can catch!
"Ready for a mega fun time, bro?" I ask, tilting my head as I wait for Sensei's signal.
Leonardo frowns, his brown eyes scanning me. My eye ridges furrow at the serious look on my big brother's face.
"Dude?"
"Are you sure you're feeling all right, Michelangelo?" Leonardo asks, rotating his wrists causing his katanas to sing through the air. "You're awfully pale."
A stone sinks in my stomach but I keep my smile in place. Shaking my head, I bounce on the balls of my feet, trying to look normal. I'm worrying too much and it's starting to show. C'mon, Sensei! Just start the spar so I can stop worrying my bros.
"Never better, Dude. Might just be the lights playing tricks on your eyes."
His eyes narrow but Sensei beats him to it as he opens his mouth.
"Hajimemasu!"
Leonardo springs into action and rushes me. I easily sidestep the attack. He pivots and continues his assault as I merely dance away. My lips purse as I twist again, my vision wavering with the fast movement. Shell. Shell. Maybe I should have chatted with Donatello before sparring today. But I was so worried about speaking with Sensei that I just kinda forgot and now I'm mega regretting it.
Ducking under another one of Leonardo's swipes, I attempt to strike out, just so my bro doesn't get on my case about just dodging. He'll know that I'm not at a hundred precent if I don't at least try attacking once or twice.
Leonardo is so fast, I mentally whine as Leonardo backflips away. But he'll get mondo angry if I don't give him a challenge. I'm just so out of juice it ain't even funny.
I try striking out again when Leonardo slashes down at me, but my eldest brother is a touch faster. He knocks my nunchaku away before landing a solid kick to my plastron. Air rushes from my lungs as Leonardo's foot connects solidly right above my gut, kicking me away.
"Oof!"
My shell hits the floor and my head bounces on the padding. My vision blackens for a moment and my ears buzz.
Ooh, that was no bueno, Dude, I think, swallowing thickly as my mouth waters unpleasantly.
Wincing, I roll onto my side, pressing a hand to my forehead. A warm hand brushes my arm and I flinch away. Shell. That… is not something I wanna feel again. Blinking, I glance up as my vision slowly clears. Concerned brown eyes come into view and Leonardo leans in.
"—chelangelo? Are you alright?" Leonardo's eyes flicker around my face. "Are you hurt? I'm so sorry, Bro. I didn't mean to kick you so hard. Let me help you."
Swallowing again, I smile up at my older brother and wave him off, touched by how worried he is. Reaching out, I pat the arm that is hovering near me.
"Dude, I'm A-Okay, honest," I say, moving to stand. "That was a wicked trick, though. Definitely a solid hit."
Leonardo chuckles as he also stands, mouth opening to respond with what I'm sure is a quirky one liner. That is, until my vision greys at the edges and I sway to the left. Leo's hands snap out to catch me. Strong, large hands grasp my biceps, steadying me. A frown morphs onto my big bro's face and he studies me.
"Maybe we should have Donatello check you out, just in case," he says, voice edging toward his 'Leader tone'. "I saw your head bounce off the floor."
Panic surges in my chest and I laugh nervously as I shoot our other brothers a look. Donatello is already on his feet, worry etched on his olive face as he hovers and ready for Big Brother's signal to come forward if needed. Raphael is also on his feet, eyes narrowed with his arms across his chest as he studies the two of us. Sensei, on the other hand, appears quite calm and collected, as if letting the two of us deal with the situation.
I quickly refocus on Leonardo.
"O-O-Oh! Um, nah, Dude. I'm tots fine. Just that random head rush that always gets ya when ya stand too fast, ya know? But like, Sensei has these floors so padded that a little bonk like that barely even hurt! Just surprised me is all."
Leonardo's eyes narrow as I grin at him, his eyes sweeping over me again. His fingers twitch on my arms and I'm half afraid that he's just going to drag me over to our brainy brother who has turned into our personal medic.
Believe me. Believe me. Believe me, I silently chant in my aching head. It's not like I won't be going to our brainy bro here sooner or later, but like, I need chat with Sensei first. And if I go to Donatello and he sees the bandages on the back of my head and then finds out that I didn't come to him last night when I got home, he'll throw a fit! And then he'll ask WHY I left in the first place and ask why I went to April's, and it'll be a HUMUNGO mess that I just can't deal with right now. I NEED to be able to chat with Sensei before I go crazy. And Donatello will go all doctor on me and maybe even order me to bed. And if I refuse, he'll want to do know why and if I tell him why without talking with Master Splinter, he'll probably think that the Tin-Can replaced me with a weirdo robot and try to dissect me!
Whoa, where did THAT line of thinking come from? I think as I wait for Leonardo to either believe me or speak to the void and have the void call me out again. Maybe I HAVE been replaced with a robot by the Tin-Can and THAT'S why I'm worried about what Sensei will think about me wanting to see him as a 'dad' or a parental figure. I'm going through me 'I'm becoming sentient, and I just want to feel love' phase!
A heavy sigh escapes my eldest bro, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts. (Which is fine by me, my head is starting to feel like there are a billion little Raphaels using jackhammers inside of it.)
"If you are absolutely certain," Leonardo says slowly, relaxing slightly and I mentally do a victory dance. "But the moment you start feeling weird or if you feel any tension in your head, I want you to get Donatello, got it?"
"Loud and clear, Dude!" I chirp back, doing my best to hide a wince when I move my head too quickly. Leonardo nods and leads me over to where our bros and Master Splinter are waiting.
"Michelangelo," Master Splinter steps forward, brown eyes searching me, and I have to resist the urge to squirm. "Are you all right, my student?"
"My sons! I am so relieved you are all right."
"My sons! Are any of you hurt? What has happened?"
My heart clenches painfully as the voices of the other Master Splinters' fill my head. Doing my best to mask, I offer the slightly shorter mutant a smile.
"Course, Sensei! It was just a little tumble onto the floor, no biggie. Shred-head has hit me way harder than that and I've come out fine."
"That's 'cause you got so much air up there that your head is like its own cushion," Raphael teases. "It's why we call ya 'Air head'."
My smile strains a little at my hotheaded brother's teasing. It's fine. He is just teasing. He teases all the time. No need to let it affect you this time. He's just trying to lighten the mood, that's all.
Master Splinter, however, turns a sharp gaze on my bro, instantly shutting him up. Narrowing his eyes, Sensei takes a step closer and my heart leaps into my throat.
"Head injuries are no joking matter," Sensei states firmly, grabbing my chin to tilt my head toward him to study my eyes. "And your brother took far too long to stand up for my liking."
Embarrassment shoots through me as my cheeks burn under my teacher's gaze. Averting my eyes, I shuffle uncomfortably.
"Honest, Sensei," I mumble, bashfully. "I feel fine."
A hum emits from the older mutant, his thumb rubs gently on my cheek. That's a parent thing, right? Worrying about you and making sure you're okay, right?
A pressure builds behind my eyes, and I will Sensei to look me over faster. I really need to clear my head before talking with Sensei.
Who am I kidding? Master Splinter is always worried about us when he thinks one of us has gotten hurt. I'm pretty sure it's just a teacher thing. And the fact that HE would have to deal with any serious injury because he couldn't exactly bring me or my bros to the hospital.
Or would we go to the vet? But we're pretty much people, right? Just green, with three fingers, two toes and a shell. But like, we can talk and stuff, so would they even accept us at the vet's office? Is Donatello considered our vet? Or our doctor?
"Are you absolutely certain you are feeling all right, my student?"
Jolting, I refocus on Master Splinter with wide eyes. Sensei waits from me to answer his question and is wearing a heavy frown now. Flushing, I quickly nod and doing my best to smile through the pain.
"Honest and truly, Sensei! No aching melon here!"
Master Splinter's whiskers twitch as he stands a little straighter, his eyes gleaming. He hums again as I keep eye contact this time and Sensei rests his hands on top of his walking stick.
"Hmm. If you are absolutely certain, young one. However, I am amending Leonardo's order. You WILL have Donatello check you over once practice is finished before you leave to meet up with Ms. O'Neil. If you are going to venture above ground, I want you with your full wits about you, my student. We do not know when the Shredder or Kraang shall strike again."
Raphael snorts from his spot on the floor.
"Then Michelangelo shouldn't be allowed above ground at all."
Hurt flashes in my chest but I do my best to shove it down. My hotheaded bro always makes comments like this, no reason to overreact to it. But apparently not fast enough if the way that Master Splinter whips around to glare at Raphael is anything to go by.
"And for such a comment, you have just earned yourself a hundred flips after training today, Raphael."
My snout twitches as Raphael stammers and his eyes widen but I'm suddenly too tired to really care about the fact that my hotheaded brother just got in trouble. Usually, I'm the one doing the flips, so it's like tots amusing that my older brother has to do them instead. And normally I would be ready to rag on my bro for having to do them but all I want to do is sit down and let the earth eat me whole.
I just want today to be over.
Master Splinter gestures toward me, his icy gaze on the flustered Raphael.
"Now, apologize to your brother so that we can continue with our training."
Amber eyes flicker over to me, and I meet them for a moment before I choose a spot on the cushioned floor that is pretty interesting right now.
Raphael clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry, Michelangelo. You know I didn't mean anything by it."
I shrug still not bothering to lift my gaze.
"Course, Dude. No hard feelings."
Silence.
"You sure?"
Blinking at the suspicious tone, I finally look at my immediate older brother. A deep frown mars his emerald face and I mentally whine. Is that all I'm good at today? Putting frowns on people's faces? What happened to all the smiles from earlier? All the laughter?
Swallowing thickly as my stomach rolls again, I smile at my bro and nod.
"Tots, Dude. It's in your nature to tease, I ain't gonna hold that against ya. But appreciate the apology anyways."
Raphael purses his lips as his eye ridges furrow, but he slowly nods. Skepticism radiates heavily from my cool but rude bro as he continues to stare me down nearly to the point of becoming kinda creepy as Sensei turns back around.
"Now that is settled, let us resume training. Boys, take a seat."
"Yes, Sensei."
Master Splinter nods and folds his hands behind his back.
"Leonardo. You and Donatello shall spar next. And, whoever loses this match, shall spar with Raphael."
Blinking in confusion, I face Sensei when he doesn't continue.
"And who do I spar with, Sensei?"
Master Splinter side-eyes me, nodding for me to kneel next to him as Donatello and Leonardo take their spots in the middle of the floor and Raphael takes the spot on Sensei's other side.
"You shall sit the rest of sparring out. While you say that you feel fine, I want to be extra certain, and I do not want to risk you fighting, in practice or during your patrol, until Donatello can give you a proper once over. And I shall not be argued with on this, am I clear?"
My mouth snaps shut, definitely about to argue that I'm perfectly fine. Throat tightening, I nod stiffly and turn my focus back to my two bros as they wait for Sensei's signal.
"Hajimemasu!"
Well, this absolutely blows! Here I am, trying to avoid going to Donatello until after I speak with Sensei and now I HAVE to talk to him. I just know that Sensei won't let me speak with him until AFTER Donatello clears me of any concussion stuff. But like, I would tots know if I have a concussion. I've gotten enough from falling off my board so I know what it feels like to have one. Sure, I blacked out a little bit after Leonardo's hit, but I'm sure it was just 'cause of my head from last night. Nothing major at all.
What if Sensei knows that I don't have a concussion if the void told him I need to talk with him, and he doesn't want to have that chat with me?
My stomach sinks and I risk a glance at the person I so desperately want to call my father. My mouth waters unpleasantly as I quickly drop my gaze. My fingers clench on my thighs.
But, what if he doesn't? What if April is like mondo wrong and Sensei only wants to be seen as our teacher and nothing more? I mean, he didn't ASK to get mutated. He didn't ASK to find us. So, like, what if he finds me asking him to be my father like majorly bizarro? And is just wanting to use this as an excuse to not have this convo with me?
My fingernails dig into my palms as nausea rolls in my gut at such a thought.
Would Sensei do that? Would he be so uncomfortable with such a topic that he would avoid it all together? I mean, I don't exactly remember the last time any of us asked him something so personal before. He's always been so open about what it was like becoming a mutant and the human world and their customs. But… But this feels different. No. This IS different. This is me, the clown of my brothers, the jokester, wanting permission to see the person who raised me, who taught me, who has kept me safe, as my parent. As my FATHER. My DAD. Is that so wrong? April made it sound like people react like this all the time.
But… But maybe that's the thing? That's what makes this all bizarro and wacko for Sensei? Is that he was once human, and he knows that we weren't? So, like, he doesn't want a strange turtle person as his son? As his child? Especially not the goofball and one that was the last to learn how to read. Like that's it, isn't it? Why would he want someone as dumb as me as his child anyways? Like, if he doesn't see even Leonardo or Donatello as his sons, who are mega smart and talented, why would he want ME to be part of his family? I would just mess everything up anyways. Raphael does like to say I am a trouble magnet.
Heat burns behind my eyes, but I refuse to let any tears fall. Not where my bros can see. They'd just make fun of me for being too "sensitive" like they always do. And then Sensei would have to get involved and he's already trying to avoid the convo with me, so like, I can't do that to him.
"Eep!"
Jerking, I wince as a soft 'THUD' echoes around the dojo. But, for some reason, even that soft noise sends a spike of pain across my noggin. Lifting my heavy head, I spot Leonardo pinning down a pouting Donatello. Our brother in blue smiles at our brother in purple.
"Game. Set. Match."
"It was one spar, Leonardo!" Donatello whines as Sensei signals the end of the match. Leonardo extends a hand for our brainy bro to take and hauls him to his feet. Our eldest brother bops Donatello on the snout causing the brainiac to squawk and smacks at the leaf green hand.
"And?"
"And nothing," Donatello grumbles while Leonardo shakes his head, an amused smile stretches across his face. Donatello takes his place back at the center of the floor, twirling his bo once before holding it at the ready as Raphael leaps to his feet and joins him.
Donatello grins at him.
"Ready to have your shell handed to you again?"
Raphael twirls his sais and snorts at our second oldest brother.
"I think you got the script wrong, bro. I'm gonna be the victor of this fight."
"How's the head?"
My focus snaps from the trash talking turtles to Leonardo as he kneels next to me.
Coughing to cover my jumpiness, I shrug as I reach up to itch the back of my head.
"It feels fine, Bro. Don't know what everyone is so worried about."
Leonardo nudges me with his shoulder as Master Splinter shouts:
"Hajimemasu!"
"It's because we care about you that we're worried, Silly," Leonardo states, his brown eyes never leaving our sparring brothers. "You didn't get up for a solid ten seconds and didn't respond to me talking to you for just as long. So, of course we're gonna worry about you having a possible concussion." Leonardo's face falls a little as he shoots me a side glance. "Because if you did gain a concussion from that, I'm awfully sorry, little brother. I didn't mean to kick you that hard. Is your stomach okay?"
Pretty sure if I do have a concussion, it ain't from you, bro.
I wave a dismissive hand as I keep my focus on our sparring bros.
"Bro, honest. I'm muy bien. Stomach's living life and my head is totally fine. Besides, I've had plenty of concussions to the point that I'm like an expert of them."
"Not exactly something to be proud of, Michelangelo."
"And I'm like a billion percent sure I don't have one," I state, completely ignoring his comment. "So, stop worrying, Dude. You'll wrinkle early if you keep worrying like you do. And I think that Sensei is looking this way, dude."
Leonardo frowns at me and I can feel the force of the frown burning into my skin as he stares me down. However, and much to my surprise, he remains silent. Part of me wants to look but another part of me thinks that Leonardo didn't respond due to the fact that Sensei is sending us his "Warning" look. And Leonardo NEVER crosses Sensei when he is given THAT look.
Maybe Sensei would prefer for Leonardo to be his son because he always listens, I think, my fingers scratching just above my kneepads as I resist the urge to scratch at the back of my head. I mean, Leonardo is like the ideal son, isn't he? Smart, obedient, skilled, 'T want Leonardo to be their son? And same with Donatello?Who wouldn't want to brag that their son can take a toaster and turn it into a DNA tracking device? Shell, I bet Sensei would even want Raphael to be his son leagues before he would even think of choosing me. I mean, sure Raphael has an attitude, but he's like mega funny and super strong. And I'm sure he likes all the things a typical "Dad" likes. Like, sports, wrestling, cars, action movies. He would total get along with any "Dad" that's out there. And he's like, super strong, so like, of course Sensei would want him to be his son. He's a great warrior.
Reaching down, I draw a random invisible shape into the cushion.
I mean, I guess I'm funny sometimes, but that's about it. I can hardly pay any attention to anything, sports are okay, but I lose interest after a while, same with fighting. I'm an okay fighter. I ain't a Leonardo or Raphael, so like, what would Sensei see in me? My bros always complain that I'm too sensitive about things and are always making cracks about my brain. I wince as a sharp pain stabs behind my eyes and I squeeze my eyes shut.
Okay, maybe all of this thinking is starting to hurt my head again, I think, clenching and unclenching my fists to keep from massaging my temples.
If Leonardo sees me do that, he's gonna jump on me and force Donatello to check me over now, and I just can't let him do that. I really want to talk to Sensei first! But if Sensei is trying to avoid the conversation, then maybe I need to give him some space first? So, like, what if I "go and get my comic" and come back and THEN try talking to Sensei? Then it won't feel like I'm trying to jump him and all that. Or, like, maybe the void will think that I've given up and Sensei will be all relaxed and more receptive to the chat without the void interfering.
I bet the void made Sensei think that I was gonna be all weird about asking him about being my father, I think bitterly and trying to not outwardly pout. And that's why Sensei doesn't wanna talk right now. But I don't wanna be weird about it! I just wanna know if… if we mean the same to him as he means to at least me.
"Shell!"
Flinching, I glance over only to find Donatello, once again, pinning down an irritated looking Raphael. Donatello tilts his head with the largest grin I've seen on his face since the day he got his first textbook.
"Pinned ya again!"
"And that movie won't be released for another few years!" Raphael snaps back, irritation lacing his voice. "Get off me, brainiac. I ain't a chair."
Donatello stares down at him in confusion before shrugging it off and climbing off his immediate younger brother. He offers Raphael his hand and, again for the second time today, I think Raphael is going to blow our bro off. Instead, Raphael rolls his eyes and takes the offered hand allowing Donatello to haul him up.
"Very good, my students," Master Splinter praises as the four of us shift to be kneeling in front of our teacher. "Despite some… accidents," everyone's gaze turns toward me. I duck my head sheepishly as I reach up and scratch the back of my head. "I do believe today's training session went quite smoothly. Now, do not let that go to your heads as the training tomorrow shall be rigorous and intense. So, I want all of you as rested as possible."
Master Splinter pauses as the four of us nod. Pleased with our response, Master Splinter kneels in front of us.
"We shall now go into our meditation. We shall only do so for about fifteen minutes today. But we shall resume our normal schedule of thirty-minute meditation time tomorrow as well."
A mental groan drags through my head as we all prepare ourselves for the one thing I dread more than katas or sparring: Meditation. My brain just never turns off and I can't go as deeply into a trance as I know Master Splinter wants me to.
Another reason on why he wouldn't want me as his son, I think dejectedly as I close my eyes. I can't even meditate properly! And like, Sensei LIVES for meditation! How can I be his son when we don't have anything in common?
My snout twitches and I reach up to scratch at the back of my head as my bandages pull again.
Ugh. These fifteen minutes are gonna drag on FOREVER! I already know that I'm not gonna be able to focus, like, at all. And if I move around too much, Sensei is gonna know that I'm not actually meditating. Then he's gonna consult with the void again. And if he consults with the void again, he'll find out about my plan to leave and then come back to talk to him. And if he finds out about THAT plan, then I'm gonna have to figure out a completely DIFFERENT plan and I'm like, running out of plans here.
I'm not Leonardo. I don't have a whiteboard in my mind with all these different plans that I can turn to if one plan fails. Because why would I? I NEVER think ahead. I just DO. But this isn't something I can just DO, I gotta plan it out so I don't scare Sensei away. Because if I scare Sensei away, then he's gonna kick me out of the lair, DESPITE what April says, and then I'll be homeless! I mean, I could possibly crash as Mondo's but, like, I don't wanna impose on my amigo like that. And my bros aren't the biggest fan of Mondo anyways, so like, they'll never come to visit if I live with Mondo. And if I get kicked out, I would still like to at least SEE my bros, ya know? But, I guess, if I'm kicked out of the lair, WOULD they want to see me? Or would they side with Sensei and think that I'm like a total wack job who needs to be locked up? Because like, I'm a turtle who wants an once human to be my dad and to care about me like a son. And, I guess that's like, super weird. Like, who would want me as their—
"And that is all for today."
Jumping, my eyes flash open, only for me to wince at the sudden brightness. Whoa, wait. It's been fifteen minutes already? That can't be right! But as I glance around, I spot Sensei standing from his kneeling position, brushing his robe off. My heart suddenly pounds in my chest when he looks at all of us and I am quick to stand as well. My vision blackens for a moment, and I feel myself wobble, but I quickly hide it by stretching off to the side.
"The three of you are excused for the day," Master Splinter states, nodding at me, Leonardo, and Donatello. His eyes narrow when they land on my hotheaded brother. "Raphael, I expect you to start your flips while I continue my meditation in my room. Once you have reached a hundred, you may be dismissed. And do not try fudging the numbers. I WILL know. But, overall, I am quite pleased with how all of you trained today. So, please enjoy the rest of your day until your patrol tonight."
"Thank you, Sensei."
I bow automatically when my brothers do, and I watch as Master Splinter walks further into the dojo toward the small room he has claimed for himself in the back. My bros are chatting among themselves as Raphael starts his flips. Wringing my hands together, I slowly start edging my way toward the door.
If I move fast enough, I can sneak out before Donatello tries to stop me.
I manage to make it to the threshold all the while keeping one eye on my bros as I move. Just keep moving. Just a little further. You snuck out last night you can do it again. Suddenly, I see Donatello turn toward where I was originally standing.
Time to go.
"Okay, Michelangelo. Let's ch—Michelangelo?"
"Michelangelo!"
I'm already out into the main area the moment Donatello says my name again. My shoulders hunch up to my ears when Leonardo's voice calls my name, his voice edging toward 'I am Leader, hear me roar' tone. That's the tone he always uses when either I'm in trouble or Raphael is in trouble and we're about to get a lecture of a lifetime.
Sorry, bro, can't stop now. I gotta trick the void into thinking that I won't be talking to Sensei! I think as I rush for the lair entrance.
"Michelangelo!" Leonardo snaps just as I round the corner and I can hear his fast-approaching footsteps. "You get back here this INSTANT and let Donatello check you over!"
Guilt rises into my throat as I scoop up my board, but I shove it away.
"Sorry, Dude," I call back. "No can do! I, uh, I gotta meet April! After, I promise!"
Without waiting for a reply, I toss my board down and kick on the switch as I jump on. Instantly, I'm zooming down the sewer tunnels with only the slight echoes of my bros calling after me bouncing around the walls. Rounding a corner, I slow my board down until I just stop completely. I'm a good distance away that my bros won't even bother coming after me, thinking me long gone by now. And normally, I would continue on, but the loud engine on my board is eating at my head right now and I just can't handle it.
Resting my board against the wall, I press my carapace to the bricks and slide down until my butt and tail hit the cold concrete floor. Squeezing my eyes shut, I press my forehead into my knees and wrap my arms around my legs as another wave of nausea hits me. Why does everything hurt? Ugh. I need to get this under control so that I can properly talk with Sensei! Be mondo embarrassing if I vomited while trying to have an actual serious convo with him for once.
Shoving that thought away, I bring my hand up and rub at the bandages.
"And why won't this stop itching," I whine quietly, tears working their way into my eyes. "My head hurts. My cut itches. The void told on me to Sensei and now he doesn't wanna talk with me. My bros are gonna be like tots angry with me once I get home. And I still haven't figured out if Sensei would be okay with me being his son!" I scrub at my eyes as a few tears leak out. "I can't help it if I can't focus right or remember things correctly. I can't help it that I'm sensitive and would rather pet puppies and kittens all day then fight some goons that want to take over the world. I can't help that I want Sensei to love us like his own and care for us like how I can care about him. I just can't and it's not fair."
A sob rips from me as I hold my head, pressing my forehead harder against my kneepads as I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking everything out.