Hi all. I'm really sorry for the delay in getting this out. Not long after I posted the last chapter, a good friend of mine from high school took their own life. It kind of messed me up for awhile and especially given the content and headspace in this story I just couldn't write. Every time I started to try and get into it I would just start to spiral, descending into guilt and anger and pain so I had to take a break, a breather. As such, this chapter is not reflective of my best work, only being able to piece together a couple of lines together at a time. However, I need to start putting something out. Otherwise this work will stagnate and fester in my computer until the end of eternity. I do hope that you enjoy what I've written, and please, please remember.
You are not alone. It is a miracle that you are alive right now, as the person you are, and there are a million more ways for you to still grow and develop 3 There is only one of you and YOU MATTER. If you are feeling any type of way about yourself that is reflected in this story, please seek help.

CONTENT WARNING: Self Harm, blood mentions.

Marinette woke the next morning feeling warmer than she expected to. She rolled over in her bed and wondered how she got there. The last thing she remembered was snuggling with Chat Noir until near three am, when she finally dropped off to sleep. Now she was cosy in her bed with a sticky feeling cheek. Marinette fumbled her confused way out of bed and stumbled into her bathroom to look at her cheek. The swelling had somewhat reduced overnight but she still couldn't help the smile as she saw the cute little butterfly band-aid over her cut. Her fingertips lightly traced over the edges as the dots slowly began to connect in her sleep-addled mind. Chat must have brought her to bed and dressed her cheek for her while she slept. His thoughtfulness truly knew no bounds and she felt a small warmth blossom in her chest.

She trotted down the stairs but hesitated as she heard her parents talking in low tones in the kitchen. It was odd for them both to be in the kitchen, usually one had to stay in the shop to either man the counter or make some pastry. Her step slowed and she began to worry at her lip, picking at a dry patch. She wasn't necessarily trying to eavesdrop on their conversation, she just wanted to know if it was okay for her to enter. The sharp realisation then stung, knocking the breath out of her, as the impact of that thought had hit her. She'd never had to even think about that before. She had never felt uncomfortable in her own home before. She'd never been cautious to see her parents. They had always had a good relationship up until Lila meddled in everything. Now, she didn't even want to step foot in the kitchen of her own home with her parents and her shoulders slouched at even thinking that. She self consciously tugged her sleeves further over her hands and ducked her head as she forced herself to cautiously enter the room; even though every part of her was screaming for her to turn around and flee back up the stairs where she could still pretend that yesterday didn't happen. Her flats hesitantly tapped over the linoleum, announcing her presence and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat as her parents conversation immediately halted. Her chest tightened, like she had been trapped in a vise. Obviously, they had been talking about her. Otherwise, why would they have stopped? Her stomach lurched unpleasantly and her teeth dug deeply into her lower lip.

"M-morning Maman, Papa," Marinette quietly greeted, her eyes flickered between the two adults, trying to catalogue their reactions to know whether or not it was safe to stay there.

Her father's back was to her and her mother was staring up at him with a raised eyebrow. She saw his shoulders tense as she called out to them and his whole demeanor seemed to change. He ran a hand through his short hair and Marinette knew that was a rarely seen sign of stress in him. She felt the burn of shame as her gaze fell to her feet. She was the cause of that. She was the reason he was stressed.

"Morning, Marinette," her father grunted out as he abruptly turned away from her mother and went back down into the shop.

He barely acknowledged her existence. He didn't spare her a single look, just turning away and letting his loud echoing foot steps do the talking for him. Marinette felt the crushing weight of being a disappointment drop onto her shoulders and her whole body drooped.

Her mother just sighed in response to his reaction and gave Marinette a weak smile.

"Morning, Marinette," she greeted.

Marinette let her gaze fall to the floor and half heartedly shuffled herself into the kitchen. She mostly stuck to the outer edge, not wanting to force her presence where it wasn't wanted. She reached for a croissant and idly began to nibble at it. As much as she knew the pastry was delicious, her parents had the best bakery in all Paris after all, it was next to tasteless in her mouth. The flaky pastry felt like ash crumbling in her mouth and with each further bite she took she felt closer and closer to throwing up. It was building in the back of her throat, the lump of anxiety just barely keeping it at bay.

"Marinette. I want to apologise for yesterday," her mother stated softly.

Marinette paused her eating to look up at her mother in curiosity. A slight spark of hope began to glow, and a tingling sense of warmth began to spread in her chest. Was her mother finally coming to her senses? Had the whole night of sleep cleared her mind enough to realise that what information being presented was not true to Marinette's character? Her mother did know her best—well, second best to Tikki— after all. Were they going to hug and cry? Was her Maman going to apologise and say that she was going to speak to Mr. Damocles and expose Lila's lies for what they were? Her mind began to race with possibilities and hope, and a small smile began to tug at the corner of her mouth.

"I truly did not mean to lose my temper an—and smack you like that. Even if you were hysterical, in hind sight, there were other ways I could have reached you and for that, I am truly sorry," her mother continued.

There was no mention of apology for believing the lies. No mention of believing in her daughter's integrity. She was only sorry for hitting her. Which was the least of Marinette's worries. She was used to being hit, and thrown around by akumas. Not having the support of her parents was new, it made her feel like she was walking on eggshells in her own home. It made her feel like she had nothing—like she was, nothing. The warmth immediately began to recede and a stinging coldness burned in its place, like an ice burn.

"It's okay, Maman," Marinette replied quietly, the words tasting like poison in her mouth.
She heard her mother breathe a sigh of relief and Marinette's eyes began to burn. She abruptly threw what was left of her croissant on the bench and fled to her room. She raced up the steps and through her trap door and swung the lock closed.

Marinette flung herself onto her bed and began to cry.

"Oh, Marinette… I'm so sorry," Tikki tried to console her.

"I just don't understand, Tikki! They said, they promised, they would always be by my side, fighting in my corner! How…?" Marinette cried.

She felt like her whole world was collapsing in on her. Never had she felt so alone. So utterly… desolate.

"I wish that Lila had never come here! I wish that she just stayed in Italy! I don't know what I did to deserve this! I've tried so hard to be the best I can be. I know I'm not perfect but at least, I try to be a good person, right? I try to give the benefit of the doubt, even to Chloe! But for everyone to… believe her… I hadn't even realised how bad her lies had gotten! I tried to take the high road, like Adrien suggested but that just seemed to give her free reign to do or say whatever she wanted about me! I just don't understand why! Why does she target me? I mean, sure, I showed her up as Ladybug but I apologised for that! And I meant it!" Marinette vented out to Tikki.

Tikki gave her a sympathetic look, having heard all of this before. She too didn't understand what the girl's motivations were, but the luxury of being a kwami, was that it didn't affect her. Not in the same way it did for Marinette.

"I don't know Marinette, all I hope is that she either grows up and grows out of this or finally receives the help she needs. I'm just disappointed in your parents. They should know you better, they should have asked more questions. Why are they only now getting notified about all of this?" Tikki replied.

Marinette shook her head in disgust.

"I don't know Tikki. I thought… I thought I could trust them. But I guess, the only one I can really rely on, is you. Thank you, Tikki. Thank you for always being there for me."

Marinette ended up crying herself into a restless sleep. She woke up blearily to the sound of her mother knocking on her trapdoor.

"Marinette? Marinette! Alya's here about some schoolwork! Can you come down please?"

Marinette groaned. The last thing she wanted to do was interact with her former best friend. Especially looking like something the cat dragged in. Her eyes felt raw and crusty and she knew her face was swollen and blotchy from crying.

"O-Okay Maman, I'll be down in a sec!" Marinette called back, her voice sounding scratchy.

She quickly scrubbed her face over with a make up wipe, trying to remove all traces of her misery and Tikki gave her a sympathetic smile, before disappearing into her purse. Marinette unlocked the trapdoor and slowly began to descend.

She could hear her mother talking with Alya and she was surprised to hear Nino respond as well. So both of them were here to gang up on her? Marinette bit her lip and gently touched the purse where Tikki was hiding, to build up some sort of confidence to face them.

"Marinette, there you are! Now, I know that you know you're grounded, but Alya and Nino are here about a school project you were working on, together. I trust you know better than to take advantage of the situation," her mother said emphatically.

Marinette felt her cheeks burn with humiliation and she shuffled on the spot, trying not to let the small spark of bitterness take root in her chest.

"Of course, Maman," Marinette mumbled, as her mother nodded and walked back into the bakery.

"Hi, Alya. Hi, Nino," Marinette mumbled softly.

Alya's head snapped over to her and gave her a decidedly frosty look.

"Marinette, we just need your portion of the book report on Hamlet. Don't worry, we'll still credit it to you. We're not cheaters," Alya snapped.

Marinette flinched like she'd been slapped and even Nino gave Alya a surprised look.

"Babe—" Alya interrupted him with a cutting glare and Nino sighed, fiddling with his headphones with a frown.

Marinette bit her lip to keep from shouting what she wanted to say, and nodded instead.

"It's upstairs, on my desk," she responded meekly.

Alya rolled her eyes and followed after Marinette up the stairs.

Marinette wasted no time going over to her desk and shuffling through the array of papers. Where had she left her book report? Was it in the pile with the English work, or in the pile of assessments, or in the pile of work to be completed? She couldn't remember. She was acutely aware of Alya's presence in her room and it made Marinette nervous, her fingers twitching, as she searched through her school work. It was like she had her back turned to a predator. All the hairs were standing on the back of her neck and the skin on her arms were tingling. Her Ladybug senses were going absolutely haywire right now, she was half ready to spin around and perform a roundhouse kick at any point. She was angry with herself for allowing Alya to have so much power over her, but she couldn't help it. She thought over all the times she and Alya had laughed, gamed, talked and generally bonded in her room and wondered how it had all come to this. How did such an unshakable bond become so fractured? Alya had been the first real best friend Marinette had ever had. The first friend to stand up to Chloe on her behalf. The first friend to really… be her friend and now? Tears welled back up in Marinette's eyes and her vision blurred. She had thought that Alya would be standing up next to her as her Maid of Honour in her and (hopefully!) Adrien's marriage.

"You know, you should probably pull these down now," Alya said coldly from somewhere behind Marinette's left shoulder.

Marinette looked over to where Alya was and realised that Alya was looking at her wall of pictures. It was a collage of her with all her friends. There were group pictures including some or all of the class on their adventures, as well as selfies with just her and one or two others. Alya's eyes were roving over the wall critically.

"What?" Marinette asked weakly.

Alya reached out and carefully plucked a photo off the wall. It was taken in a selfie style of the four of them, Marinette, Alya, Nino and Adrien, having a lunch date at a local cafe. She gently rubbed a thumb over the picture and then abruptly tore it in half. Marinette squeaked in shock and she immediately snatched the two halves of the picture from where they fluttered to the floor.

"What was that for?!" Marinette snapped as anger overwhelmed all the hurt.

Marinette placed the two halves of the picture on her desk and gave Alya the foulest look she could fathom making.

"I just think it's pathetic that you're holding onto these memories, when everyone can't even stand to think of you, right now," Alya snapped back.

Marinette's jaw dropped as the hurt blossomed through her chest. Tears welled in her eyes but she forced them back, trying not to show any weakness. The wind was completely knocked out of her lungs and she struggled to breathe as she comprehended what Alya was saying.

"What?"

"Yeah, Lila's been telling us all about just how bad you were bullying her. It's pretty disgusting, Marinette. You had her so afraid to speak up, and now you're gone she finally feels safe enough to talk about it. So, naturally, everyone pretty much hates you. They all feel betrayed, and I—I, especially, hate the way you manipulated everyone into believing you were this angel. It makes me feel physically sick to think that I might have ever doubted Lila because of what you said about her. And I'm not the only one," Alya confronted her, her hands on her hips and her face twisted into a snarl.

Marinette's mouth dropped and her cheeks began to burn.

"What?! Lila said that?! Sh—she still?! I—I," Marinette couldn't even make a coherent sentence, she was so flabbergasted by what Alya was saying.

She was so angry. She wasn't even there any more! Marinette was well and truly out of the equation and still Lila had to drag her name through the mud. More than mud, her name was being dragged through mud, thrown into a murky swamp, coated in trash and dumped on. Marinette Dupain-Cheng was going to end up with criminal charges at this rate!

"Alya! I have never—"

"Shut up, Marinette!" Alya shouted at her. Marinette's mouth snapped shut in surprise, her eyes stared back in shock. "I can't even stand to hear another word out of your mouth! I loved you like one of my sisters and this is how you repay me?! By getting me involved in your borderline criminal schemes! And somehow, getting me to think that they're good ideas?! I can't—I can't. I don't want to ever see or hear from you ever again! Take down my pictures! I don't want you to have them! I don't want anything to do with you! Never! I just want to forget we were ever friends," Alya trailed off, tears beginning to leak down her own face.

Marinette's face turned ashen as she listened to what Alya said. The hurt that bloomed across her chest was physical, a hand squeezing her heart so hard she wondered if she was going to be able to keep breathing. An almost tangible bitterness and ache gaped in her chest and Marinette couldn't hide the way the hurt made her crumple. Marinette wordlessly began to rip the photos off her wall. Every single one, even ones that didn't have Alya in them. She grabbed a shoe box and began to carefully place them in there and by the end of it, Marinette had tears streaming down her face. The shoe box was nearly full and Marinette stared at her bare walls for the first time in a long time. She sniffled and pulled out her sketchbook and ripped out several designs of dresses that she had done for Alya over the years and stuffed them in the box. She placed her portion of the Hamlet book report on top of those before digging into her jewellery box; with shaking fingers pulled out her half of their 'Best Friends' necklace. Her hand clenched the chain tightly. Marinette remembered the excitement of Alya buying it, and splitting it with her. She had seen all the other girls wearing something similar at some point in her life; Rose and Juleka had necklaces, Alix and Kim had their own wristbands, even Sabrina and Chloe had shared one. No one had ever wanted to share with Marinette, she always ended up left out, wondering why she had so many friends but not one willing to call her a 'best friend'. So when she and Alya had visited a local fair and Alya had bought one for them, Marinette had nearly cried. It was one of her most treasured pieces. Marinette quickly dropped it on top of the book report and slammed the lid on the shoe box.

"There," Marinette said thickly, shoving the box in Alya's hands. "I-I… just…" Marinette trailed off and shook her head, and waved her away.

"Get out of my room."

Alya stared at her in shock and Marinette waited for a second, but the other girl seemed to be frozen in surprise, never having witnessed Marinette like this before.

"Get o-out!" Marinette shouted, her voice cracking.

Alya flinched and then glared at her.

"With pleasure!" she spat and turned on her heel, stomping down the stairs.

Marinette collapsed to her knees in her suddenly empty bedroom and began to sob. She felt a small warmth at her neck as Tikki nuzzled into her. The little god had no words for her, the situation had spiralled incredibly wrong and even Tikki knew there was nothing she could say to make any of this better; and Marinette felt something in her break. A dam burst and suddenly she was crying. Crying in the kind of way that made her head spin and pound, and her throat ache. Her whole body began to tremble and her fingers clenched tightly to her rug. Her nails scraped at the base of the carpet, one or two bending almost far enough to snap, but she barely felt it. She idly punched the floor and immediately anger became the overwhelming emotion. She punched the floor harder, and harder and harder until she idly realised she was screaming and Tikki was fluttering around her in a tizzy, calling her name frantically. Marinette blinked and looked down at her hands to see her knuckles were raw and swollen. She stretched her fingers out gingerly and winced as her joints protested.

"Marinette—"

"Not n-n-now!" Marinette sobbed, cutting Tikki off.

Tikki floundered in the air, not seeming to know how to help. Marinette stared up at her, trying not to think about how pathetic she must look to her, and shook her head.

"I can't, I just can't today," she croaked, and pushed her way past into her bathroom.

She had promised Tikki that she wouldn't do this anymore. She had told her that she would talk to Tikki before doing anything harmful, but Marinette couldn't help it. She turned on the shower, so that Tikki wouldn't come in. Tikki had always respected her privacy, and Marinette felt awful for taking advantage of that; however, she needed to do this. She wanted—no, she needed something to distract her from the hurt that was twisting through her body. Marinette pulled her sleeve up to see an ugly cross hatched mess of cuts in varied stages of healing, and nearly scowled as she stared at them. If someone had told her a year ago that this is where she would be she would have laughed in their face. Marinette grabbed her razor blade, which she had hidden in the back of her vanity drawer, and angrily began to slice at her arm. The pain was sharp and immediate, and despite being familiar with it, it still surprised her. Another slice. Two—three and a fourth made her flinch slightly. Blood trickled down her arm and slowly dripped onto the bathroom sink. Marinette felt an odd sense of… calmness, settle over her as she watched the blood slowly drip. The pain in her arm dulled to a mere ache and she stared at the fresh wounds. They matched many others across her sensitive forearm and she scowled. She was angry at herself for even getting started, for giving in to her own misery so easily and immediately slashed the razor angrily across her arm. It cut deeply, and through several other healing gashes, and Marinette couldn't stop the pained cry that fell from her lips.

"Marin—Oh…"

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut and slid down to the floor with her back against her vanity, as Tikki phased through the door. She didn't want to see the disappointment in Tikki's eyes as she saw that Marinette had broken her promise to her. The sharp pain in her arm ebbed into a dull throb and Marinette clutched at her arm as blood seeped through her fingers to dribble onto her shirt.

"Tikki, please… tomorrow. We can talk tomorrow," Marinette sobbed.

The kwami didn't speak, just nuzzled herself against her cheek. Marinette felt a small dampness against her cheek, where Tikki was and she opened her eyes to see that Tikki herself, was crying.

"I'm sorry, Marinette. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could take all this pain away from you," Tikki said softly as she pressed her hand against Marinette's cheek.

Marinette's lip wobbled again and she closed her eyes as she drew her legs up to her chest, trying to make herself as small as she could be. Maybe, if she made herself small enough, the target that was on her back would disappear.