"I'm terrible at this," Steve groaned, flopping his chin down to his chest. Eddie chuckled softly in front of him, easing the guitar out of his lap. Two weeks of this and he still couldn't play a thing. "I'm absolutely hopeless."
"No, you're not. It just takes time," Eddie assured him, strumming lightly on his own guitar, just to show off his skills. Steve watched his fingers pluck the strings, getting lost in the sight of them working so deftly. It was soothing and helped take his mind off of all the other things that were cluttering it up.
It had been a month since the fight against Vecna. Things had mostly calmed down and everyone was on the road to recovery. Max still had her arm in a cast, but she didn't let it slow her down in the slightest. She was back on her skateboard a week after everything and had a spark back in her eyes that she'd lost a while back. Lucas was by her side the whole time, helping her to the point of fond annoyance and accepting her ministrations when it came to his own cuts and bruises. Jason was lucky he was in jail for assault, because everyone in their group was aching to beat down on the little prick. But the Sinclair family didn't mess around and he was going to face real consequences.
Eddie had been in the hospital for a whole week to recover from his massive blood loss. Steve still relived the moment he'd found Dustin crying over Eddie's body after the evil was vanquished in his nightmares. He'd thought Eddie was dead too, but he picked up his body anyways, since leaving him there was never an option. And when they'd finally gotten back to the other side and Eddie sucked in the tiniest breath, they raced him to the hospital and got him help.
Eddie's name had been cleared, thanks in part to a back from the dead Hopper. Evidently he had some important information about Russian prisons that was worth giving him anything he wanted, which included protecting the newest member of their ragtag group. Some people in town were still gave him a wide berth, but Eddie didn't seem to mind. Steve thought he might've even enjoyed the notoriety, now that no one thought he was a killer anymore and he was just "that strange boy" again.
It was nice having everyone back together, with everyone living in Hawkins again. It felt like they had a chance for things to get to some sort of normal. And with summer quickly approaching, it was the perfect time to restrengthen their bonds. Steve and Robin still had jobs, but they usually had visitors at work a few times a day. It helped make the day go by faster. And one of those visits had been what started his thing with Eddie.
Eddie had come in one night a few hours before closing on a random Tuesday. Steve was working alone, since Robin had school the next day. Eddie did as well, but that didn't seem to bother him. The teachers were letting him skate by, either due to sympathy from his plight or wanting him gone from the school. Eddie didn't care, since it was leading him on the fast track to finally graduating.
Steve had given him a few movie suggestions, since he didn't really know what else to say to the guy. They'd only ever had brief conversations and usually with other people around, so they weren't really friends. But Eddie had stuck around and the conversation started flowing easier, from music, to movies, to life in general. Before Steve knew it, he'd kept the open sign on on the outside of the shop for an hour past closing.
And that was the start of Steve and Eddie spending almost every day together. From hanging out after school, to during work, to weekend movie nights, and weeknight D&D campaigns. If one of them was somewhere, it was safe to say the other one was too. Steve was starting to consider Eddie one of his best friends.
Eddie had brought one of his guitars over to the video store one night, strumming along to whatever song was playing over the speakers. Steve had been amazed by it, complimenting the other boy on his talent. So when Eddie offered to give him private lessons, Steve jumped at the chance. Playing guitar sounded fun, but it wasn't exactly the reason he'd said yes so quickly. It was more about having an excuse to get Eddie alone more often. Hanging with everyone was great, but getting to be one on one with Eddie was even better.
Steve wasn't sure when his thoughts about Eddie started shifting from something friendly to something more intense. Eddie was an easy guy to become infatuated with, from his natural charisma and charm. At first, Steve chalked it up to that. There was no reason to consider it was something else, since he'd never felt a certain way about another boy before. All of his fantasies had involved women and so had all of his experiences. But then fingers with thick rings and denim covered tattooed skin started worming its way in.
It was probably just his mind playing tricks on him though. The same thing had happened with Robin, but what they had was definitely not romantic. Maybe he was just so excited to have a friend his own age that he took things too far. That he was so desperate for that connection that he tried to build it up to more than it was. But there were also flashes from Eddie that made it seem like he reciprocated. That had never happened with Robin.
There were times when Eddie adjusted Steve's fingers on the strings of the guitar and his face turned red. Or when Steve would catch Eddie looking at him just a few seconds longer than normal. And Eddie always seemed to choose the spot closest to him on the couch, with some part of their bodies brushing against each other. Nothing too odd, until you put it all together. But Steve wasn't the smartest guy, so what he was adding up may not have been accurate.
Either way, Steve couldn't do anything about it. He was too afraid to ruin what they had by taking a chance for something more. Even if Eddie felt the same way about him, that probably wouldn't last. Steve was a great friend, but a terrible boyfriend. He hadn't been with anyone since Nancy and his full shift into being a better person, but what if that didn't matter? What if he was fundamentally a bad partner, regardless of how hard he tried to be good?
Steve thought he'd been good after he and Nancy made up, but she still hadn't loved him. Saying that he was incapable of being loved sounded so dramatic, but maybe there was truth to it. He believed that Robin loved him, but as a friend. And maybe he and Eddie could get to that place too, but Steve couldn't try to take it further. He couldn't deal with losing anything else.
"How about we take a break for a bit and watch the movie I rented? It's due back in a few days and I wouldn't want to get a late fee," Eddie suggested with a smirk.
"I'm pretty sure you could get away with it," Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes. Eddie hadn't even paid for a rental in weeks. Just one of the perks of the job and having a manager who didn't give a shit, as long as things ran as they should. Steve pointedly stared at the arm of his couch as Eddie bent over to slide the tape into the machine. He didn't look up until Eddie was back by his side, partially on his cushion.
"I've been dying to see this movie for so long. I didn't get a chance when it was in theaters," Eddie said excitedly, grabbing one of the bags of chips they'd set out earlier.
"Mhm," Steve mumbled, trying not to jolt at the feel of Eddie's arm brushing against his. That was a typical friend reaction, right? Steve tried to get lost in the movie, anything to distract himself from his close proximity to Eddie. It wasn't working, since he wasn't very interested in horror. At least, not anymore. Not after everything they'd been through. But that was why Eddie loved them so much. He said it was research.
"Aw see, that's where they went wrong!" Eddie groaned as they watched the presumed dead killer come back to life to attack the main character. "You can't just stab once and think everything is over. Evisceration is key. Decapitation if possible. Blowing them up completely is ideal."
"You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?" Steve snorted, shoving a handful of chips in his mouth.
"Of course I have. According to you lot, there is some sort of supernatural crisis every year. I'm just trying to stay prepared," Eddie huffed, staring at him pointedly. His eyes softened with a gleam of humor as he glanced further down. Before Steve could decipher what that look meant, Eddie was reaching over and brushing crumbs off the front of his shirt. The tiny graze of his fingertips sent a shiver down Steve's spine that he knew Eddie noticed. His gaze turned serious as he pulled his hand back and tipped his head to the side.
Steve was frozen in his spot, unable to even breathe. What if Eddie figured out what Steve was thinking and hated him? He didn't think that would be the case, since Eddie was a good guy, but that fear was always there. Robin coming out to him had been a big deal. Steve didn't even know if he had anything to come out about. He didn't know anything except Eddie was right there and Steve was right there and everything felt right and overwhelming and terrifying. And then Eddie was leaning forward and Steve jerked away. He was such an idiot.
"I'm sorry," Steve mumbled, scrunching his eyebrows in frustration.
"Was I reading this wrong?" Eddie asked, leaning back with a nervous smile on his face.
"No. I mean, yes. I mean… I don't know," Steve stammered. "I've never done this before."
"Do you have a problem with it?" Eddie asked hesitantly, visibly shutting down in front of him.
"Of course not!" Steve insisted quickly. "I've just never done this before." He sounded lame, but it felt like the best excuse. It was true, but not the whole truth. Steve couldn't say that he was afraid of ruining what they had by disappointing Eddie if they went further. That Eddie deserved someone who would dive in with him completely.
"I never thought I'd have more experience in anything over Steve Harrington," Eddie joked, but Steve could tell he was just deflecting. Steve had been so worried about messing up, but he'd still done it anyway. And now he didn't even get the enjoyment of a relationship, no matter how brief it would've been.
"I'm sure you could best me in a lot of categories," Steve muttered, running his hand through his hair. When you got down to it, there was nothing truly impressive about Steve at all. Every accolade he'd received had been handed to him instead of earned. One day, everyone would realize it and stop wasting their time on him. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. It's fine," Eddie sighed, twisting the rings on his fingers. He only did that when he was anxious. Steve was making him anxious. Steve was the worst. "I should've asked before trying to attack you with my lips."
"It wasn't an attack. And it's not you, it's me." Eddie gave him a look, since that was the oldest line in the book. It usually meant it was definitely the other person. "I mean, it's everything. I'm still trying to get my footing back after Vecna. It usually takes me a while to bounce back after these types of things."
"Right. I get it," Eddie replied, full of understanding. Of course he would get it, if Steve stopped skirting around the issues and started being honest.
"I've really enjoyed hanging out with you though. It's made everything a lot better," Steve admitted softly. Having someone help fill the space in his empty house was different and nice. Everyone else had families and lives to go back to and Eddie had his uncle, but it wasn't the same. And Eddie never hesitated to ask Steve if he wanted to join in on what he was doing, even if it wasn't something Steve typically did. Of course he was falling for the guy. He was just so good.
"I guess I enjoy hanging with you too, even though you are completely hopeless with a guitar," Eddie teased, nudging him with his shoulder.
"Hey!" Steve whined, shoving him playfully back. They jostled each other for a few seconds, before settling back into their previous positions, with Eddie a tiny bit further away. There were no parts of them touching anymore and Steve could feel the distance, but he didn't say anything. He was lucky enough to have Eddie stick around, even after almost wrecking everything.
Eddie went back to his movie commentary and Steve added input here and there, but his heart wasn't in it. All he could think about was how much of an idiot he was. But he'd still made the right choice, since Eddie deserved someone who wasn't such a coward. Eddie had told him once that he wasn't a hero because he ran from danger, but he'd proved himself in that regard. Steve was the one who ran away. And one day, he was going to end up all alone.