The Ink Bottle

(One-Shot)

Disclaimers: I don't own anything apart from some DVD's/books for this series.

AN: This is a short standard prompt for "The Houses Competition" set in 'Marauders' Era' time. As I am old (ish), my views of them may vary from the young ones, including the fact that I am TeamCharlus/Dorea, have Sirius/James as distant relations through Black blood, as well as TeamTrans (as an ally). I do not accept any new stuff by Rowling.

House: Gryffindor

Class: Prefect

Category: Standard

Prompt(s): [Action] Trying not to laugh / [Location] Hogwarts Library

Word count: 1,160 according to AO3 (3 pages)

Summary: In which Remus shows Lily his wolfish skills.

"Lily, what am I going to do?"

Lily looked up from her book she was reading by the fire to see who was talking to her. "Remus, hi. What do you mean?"

"They made me a Prefect."

"I know," Lily said. "We both are." She watched in alarm as Remus turned to sit in the chair across from her. He had one hand over his face. "What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"I checked the schedule of the Prefect meetings," Remus said. "I'm going to miss about half of them."

"Why?"

Remus looked at her for a long, hard moment. "We've been friends for a while. I need to tell you something."

A few moments later, Lily was staring into the fire. "That makes a lot of sense."

"It does?"

Lily nodded slowly. "Look, don't worry. I'll cover for you."

"Lily," Remus gasped. "Thank you."

"It'll be fine," Lily said. "I've been suspecting it for a bit, anyway."

"You have?"

"Yeah," Lily answered. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you retain your wolf senses while human?"

"Oh, yeah," Remus said. "I'll show you tomorrow. Meet me in the library. Early."

The next morning, Lily got up extra early to follow Remus down to the library. James Potter was there already, reading some book or other. He glanced up as they came in. After a short wave, he went back to his book.

"I let him see me on purpose," Remus said. "He comes here early before class so he can study extra." (Technically, James was reading up on animagic, but that was kept quiet.) "Watch. I can still stalk him even though he saw me."

"Stalk?" Lily clapped one hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh.

"Just watch," Remus whispered, also trying not to laugh.

With a short grin, Remus quickly pushed Lily behind a row of books before slipping in beside her. He moved forward, letting her follow.

James glanced up again but noticed he was alone once more. He returned to his reading, oblivious of the impending attack.

Leaving Lily by the row of books, Remus rolled out to under a table. He stood up for a moment before crouching down to avoid another look from James. Remus slowly inched forward, like a cat hunting a mouse.

Lily had both hands over her mouth now, hoping she wouldn't burst out laughing. Whatever Remus was about to do to James, she didn't care. James probably deserved it. Besides, Lily didn't like him anyway. She snorted into her hand as she watched Remus slink around behind James before ducking again as James had suddenly moved.

James reached out to pull some parchment over. After digging around in his bag, he pulled out an ink bottle. Setting it on the small table, James dug even further to find his long raven-feather quill. He laid the book he was reading flat onto the table before dipping his quill into the ink. After quickly looking over the page, he began to take notes.

Remus inched closer. He was nearly breathing down James's neck by now. Lily blinked back tears as she choked on her laughter.

James tried dipping his quill once more, but it didn't work. He picked up the bottle to look inside.

"ARF! ARF!" Remus barked loudly as he jumped up.

James's whole body twitched like a snake caught in an eagle's talons. The bottle he had been holding was chucked up, spilling ink all over his face, turning his skin a dark blue-violet colour. James froze in position, holding his half-empty ink bottle in one hand, while feeling around with his free hand to find something to wipe his face with. He moaned something in his throat but couldn't speak since the ink was over his lips.

Lily was on her knees on the floor, trying to remain silent as she watched.

Finally, James found something to clean his face with. Once he had wiped up his lips, the first words he snarled in a low tone was, "You bloody werewolf pup!" He pulled off his glasses that were useless to him now since they were covered in ink.

"I got you," Remus snickered. "Nice shade, Jim. It brings out your eyes."

James finished cleaning his face. "I SWALLOWED THE INK, YOU STUPID THING!"

His bellow made Madam Pince glare at him, but after she saw what had happened, her face changed instantly to one of shock.

"Oh!" Remus gasped. He looked serious for one moment before turning away, pressing one hand on his mouth.

"This is why I'm a cat person!" James snapped, glaring as Remus doubled over, hands on knees.

"I'm sorry, Jim! I didn't mean to make you swallow it!" Remus tried hard not to laugh as it would only anger James further, but he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah, you look it!" James tossed his ink bottle onto the table where it spilled over its last bit of contents. He went to work on cleaning his glasses. He suddenly clutched his throat with one hand. "Oh, hell." He heaved a few times, dropping the glasses onto the table. "Oh, no!" He suddenly ran out of the library. Fortunately, for the first time in his life, he did not notice Lily Evans hiding behind the bookcase as he streaked past, heading for the nearest loo as quickly as possible.

Lily pulled herself up. She blinked back tears of laughter as she rubbed her sides that were aching from holding it in. "Did he really swallow it?"

"Yep," Remus nodded. "I hope he'll be all right. I'll go check on him." He hurried after James.

Lily cleaned up the mess on the table as she waited for Remus to return. She even fixed his glasses.

A few minutes later, Remus came back with James following him. James glared at Remus as he sat down before looking at Lily. "I had to throw up that ink three whole times," James complained. He suddenly hacked. "Uh!" He hacked again. "Might be a fourth time coming!" He jumped to his feet in an instant.

Remus barely had time to step aside as James fled from the library once more. He looked at Lily. "I really didn't mean to make him sick!"

"If there's a hell, I'll be going there for laughing at this!" Lily exclaimed as she finally lost it.

"I think I'll be joining you," Remus said as he bit his lip.

It was rather cruel to laugh after all. Unlike Lily, Remus did consider James a friend, so he tried not to laugh for James's sake.

For the next few days, Remus attempted to maintain a straight face as James would glower at him whenever he pulled out his ink bottles. Lily was conveniently nowhere in sight at such times.

It took a while for Remus to be on James's good side again, but thoughts of the incident always brought a smile to Remus's face whenever he was alone.