Episode 5
(For such an awesome case, this finale sure has a letdown name. I prefer that to its prequel-a letdown case with an awesome name-but even so. Neither the Japanese writers nor the fan translators could come up with anything better?)
"Saying this case's title is not good when it perfectly fits the case's theme. The case is grand because a bunch of things happen at the same time, which his why it's such an awesome finale. Really, what did you want them to name it "The turnabout where a bunch of things happen at the same time so we couldn't come up with a name for it?" Yeah, I thought so." One sin added.
[(The opening) "Bangin' music, but the last case left off on judicial corruption and communication with an assassin, so naturally, this case opens with... the trailer to a monster movie. Seems logical.]
"Well, the president of a foreign nation got-seemingly-killed at that movie's lot. And the real president's bones were buried there. And Blaise, the guy from the last case, was there trying to get those bones. And John, the president's son, was also there and was for some time believed to have accidentally killed him. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense." One sin added.
[(Case proper begins) "Edgeworth recaps the previous episode to people who were present for said episode.]
"But how long ago? How much time passed since they last played that case? Were they too busy and had to wait a week or two before getting to this finale, which is closely linked to the previous case? Those details are important." One sin added.
(Also, narration.)
"Pierce hates narration for no reason cliché." One sin added.
[(Nichols takes us to the body) If Huang's body double (HBD) is dead now, why does he retain his muscular appearance? Shouldn't being crushed by a hot air balloon have deflated him again? Did Keyes re-inflate him postmortem? How does that work, anyway?]
"Pierce failing at game logic n. 236653." One sin added.
(The Mighty Moozilla.)
"Pierce points out things on the screen cliché." One sin added.
(When Lang is alone on the case, his theme drastically drops in tempo. Who knew?)
"Everyone who has good hearing perhaps? Do you have anything else to point out on the screen?" One sin added.
[(Lang invokes the SS-5 incident) Incident from x years ago is related to today cliché for the third time in a row.]
"Whoa, whoa! Third time? I can believe you not noticing this, but…the SS-5 incident is the same one as the one in the previous case. Remember that bit about Crane wanting revenge for 12 years ago? Yeah, it's SS-5. So…this only counts as one time for both cases. Not only are you a poor game reviewer, you also don't know how to count." Three sins added.
(How has Huang(/HBD) managed to stay president for over twelve years when HBD has to resort to fake assassination attempts to keep his ratings in the air?)
"The fact he only invoked that publicity stunt now means his approval ratings are only recently starting to go downhill. Really, he was a useless president, but that doesn't mean he would screw up on his first year. He clearly took some time to make considerable amount of bullshit for people to want him off the chair. And even if he did do a ton of bullshit on his first try…people tend to notice the faults of politicians long after they are done." One sin added.
(Edgeworth remembers meeting Penny Nichols before, which is more than I can say about myself. Who decided the most forgettable character in the series needed to recur, anyway?)
"The same people who put Frank Sahwit and Will Powers in here as well as Larry, the Delites and even Ema, even if it was pointless. This is the tenth anniversary of the series, they wanted people to reminisce about the series' golden childhood." One sin added.
(Are we sure these holes in the ground are hoofprints? They look more like Pac-men to me.)
"Pierce makes a pop culture reference…" one sin added.
[(Nichols explains that the Moozilla movie is a revival of the original series from 12 years ago) Even in the fictional AA world, we have pointless movie reboots coming out over a decade after the original.]
"If it happens in real life, there is no reason why it can't happen in the AA universe. On a lot of things, they follow the same logic. Even if that logic is bullshit." One sin added.
[(There's a versus battle between two monsters coming out "soon" as of 2019) "Godzilla vs. Kong reference.]
"Pierce makes a pop culture reference…" one sin added.
[(Return of Gourdy) "Turnabout Goodbyes reference. Again]
"Sinning the case for mentioning one of its greatest cases. And since you did it again, it counts as a double sin." two sins added.
(Why does Marsh care so much that Edgeworth isn't wearing a prosecutor's badge? Unlike defense attorneys, prosecutors in this game are more likely to keep their badge tucked away than pinned to their clothes.)
"I'm pretty sure most of the prosecutors actually wear their badges. It just happens the ones we meet in the series choose not to. But John, having a judge as an adoptive mother, would have seen a lot of prosecutors, most of whom would probably wear their badges. So it makes sense he would notice this detail. You can even call it foreshadowing his relationship with Justine." One sin added.
(Marsh's huge anime eyes do not fit his face in any way, shape, or form..)
"His eyes are fine and perfectly normal. I don't see the issue with them." One sin added.
(Also, Marsh is a diva and my least favorite child character in the whole series..)
"Sinning John, who also has a great character arc in this case. I mean, aside from his two cameos, the guy appears for just one case and yet he gets more character development than most MCU villains. That takes skill. And the fact you fail to appreciate it is worth…this many sins." Five sins added.
[(Lang accuses Courtney of murder) Lang's logic relies on HBD's bodyguards not noticing their client missing for almost two days and doing nothing about the fact until just now. I don't know which is sadder: the fact that Lang proposes this, or the fact that he ends up being right... if for a few wrong reasons.]
"I am not defending the guards for sucking ass at their jobs-they do-but they really did not notice their president missing for two days. Like you say, if that is true, Lang's logic checks out at first sight. So…the fact he proposes it is not as problematic as the fact he turns out to be right." One sin added.
(Lang says it's been a while since he felt cornered by Edgeworth) It's been three weeks since Ablaze, Lang. A lot might have happened in those three weeks, but three weeks is not a long time in this sort of context.]
"Really? I don't think there is a set amount of time that "a while" equals to. It's just…some time. Three weeks is not too much time, but it is plenty of time. l So it makes sense Lang would feel it's been some time since he last felt that way by Edgeworth." One sin added.
(Lotta's running animation.)
"Sinning this." Three sins added.
[(Kay suggests she and Edgeworth go monster hunting) Miles Edgeworth: Ace Monster Hunter did not make it…]
"Skip!" one sin added.
[(In the courthouse with Courtney, Shields, and Franziska) Since when do trials start at at 11:23 am in this world?]
"Since when do trials have a specific time at which they start? They can start at any time. Are you padding the sin count, sis? I think you are padding the sin count." One sin added.
"Also…at at 11:23? Yup, you complain about every game having typos, but you are not doing any better. This will be a blanket sin for all of them." One sin added.
(Edgeworth recaps the second episode to us. He couldn't have let Franziska do it for him in the opening statement?)
"Edgeworth does not say anything about the second episode. You just made that up! All he says is that Ray and Franziska have replaced Crane and Sebastian, due to the former passing away and the latter disappearing. Everything related to the second episode is mentioned only in Franziska's opening statement." One sin added.
(Why would Roland be okay with Shields serving as her defense attorney? It was Shield's very 'assistant' that first accused her of murder during the investigation! If I were her, I would get someone who wasn't part of the charge to indict me in the first place. Even acknowledging Shields was a short notice replacement, this is clearly a stupid move.)
"Why would Roland care? The evidence required to prove her guilt is gone and the judge is being blackmailed with her son's life to find her not guilty. Even with the worse lawyer in the world as her attorney, she will most likely get off the hook." One sin added.
(And one more thing: where were the police keeping Roland while she waited for her day in court? Was she really locked up in the detention center she used to run? For a week? Was she guarded by former lackeys?)
"Yes. Next question." One sin added.
(If Roland has heard enough about Kristoph Gavin to quote him, why didn't she ask for him as her defense attorney? The Gramarye case hasn't happened yet, so I doubt he's busy. He's just the kind of lawyer Roland would want at her side right now.")
"Well, the best defense attorney in the west is also pretty expensive. Why should Roland spend a fortune on her defense when she's getting off the hook either way?" one sin added.
(Courtney allows both the defense and the defendant to call her pet names in court. Because that's not inappropriate)
"Her adoptive son has been kidnapped and will be killed if she doesn't find who she knows is a killer not guilty. She has much more serious things to worry about." One sin added.
(I understand why losing the murder weapon is a big deal, but... there are several witnesses Franziska can call who were there when the weapon was found: Edgeworth, Kay, Gumshoe, Regina, to name a few. Furthermore, the prison is noted for having security footage, and Roland shouldn't have been able to erase the footage from when the knife was found because that action was followed immediately by her arrest. Not only that, but they could even call the vet who checked on Ally the alligator after the gator was found to have consumed metal and have them give their report.)
"You are missing the point of the scene. Courtney would have no trouble convicting Roland, even without the knife. She even saw it herself when it was found. But she doesn't. The reason why she doesn't is to protect her son's life. If Roland is found guilty, he will die. So no matter which one of those routes they pursue, Courtney will dismiss it on the grounds that whatever cannot be presented in court is not sufficient. Sure, that will just be an excuse, but it makes sense in legal context. The only thing that would be impossible for her to ignore is the murder weapon itself, which is why Blaise disposed of it." One sin added.
(Why is Franziska so obsessed with the idea of Edgeworth as an anchorman? And why is she so unwilling to help Shields stall for time? They're waiting for evidence that would ensure she wins the case! Since when is winning not one of Franziska's chief motivations for standing in court?)
"You are misrepresenting the scene. Franziska does not have a problem with winning the trial. She just is unwilling to help Edgeworth. I remind you: she felt betrayed and abandoned by him after he turned in his badge. She does not feel like helping him out in his hour of need. She does cave in, but only because she feels it is her duty as a prosecutor." One sin added.
[(Logic Chess with Courtney) If Courtney is so incapable of rendering an impartial verdict, is there a reason we can't get the main series judge on the scene for this case?]
"Considering Courtney has also a lot of character development and personal stakes in this case, you asking for her to be removed is pretty stupid. There is a reason she only appears in this game. Yes, the fact she never appears again is a shame, but this is her game, as well. I know Miles Edgeworth's name is on the title, but he is not the only person whose character gets explored in it." One sin added.
(Courtney's distressed animation makes her look vaguely aroused. The discussion of kidnapped children rarely gets me in the mood, but each to their own kinks.)
"Still going at it with the cringey jokes, eh?" one sin added.
(It's a good thing Courtney is revealed to be Marsh's adopted mom. Otherwise, I would have a lot of questions about why a grown woman is this obsessed with a thirteen year old actor's whereabouts. She does get oddly aroused talking about his kidnapping, after all.)
"Huh…for some odd reason, I feel like adding eight sins right about now." Eight sins added.
(Edgeworth marvels at the thought of declaring a "goddess" guilty) "Just wait nine years in your time, Edgeworth. It nearly happens on two separate occasions.)
"Pierce yells at the screen cliché." One sin added.
(Let me get this straight: we have to rescue John Marsh and (as we discover) Sebastian Debeste from kidnappers to ensure Patricia Roland's trial ends fairly so we can talk to Courtney at length about the president's murder... which we don't even suspect her of committing, but Lang does. I understand now that this episode is meant to be an amalgamation of several cases more than a single coherent episode, but the first time I played, I thought the plot had just completely derailed for several hours with no objective in mind..)
"It didn't. Everything comes together into a nice little package at the end, making its payoff amazing and the ending feel truly earned. So you were just an idiot for underestimating the power of Capcom writers." Three sins added.
(Edgeworth and Kay waste precious time arguing over the Yatagarasu's catchphrase. They... do remember they're running against the clock here, right?)
"The series is maintaining comedy and humor even in dire, stressful situations because that's what has always been going on. How many times must you see that before you realize it?" One sin added.
(Taxi driver drives a European car in Japanifornia, if the position of the driver's seat is anything to go by. What cab company thought importing so many alternatively styled cars was a good idea?")
"I didn't find any issues with this sin, but…here you call the place japanifornia and clearly acknowledge it takes place in Japan. But in previous instances, even in the first episode of this game, you say it takes palace in Los Angeles. So…which one is it? Do you support the localization team's effort to pass this series as taking place in American or not? Or it changes depending on what serves your padding of the sin count?" One sin added.
(Sebastian was kidnapped by his father's thugs and tied up in his own garage after being mistaken for Courtney's son because he ran out on his father's corrupt and murderous bullshit and admitted he knew Courtney to said thugs. An alternate title for this case should've been 'Sebastian Debeste and the Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Morning.)
"Pierce sins herself for joking about this…but one sin ain't enough. How about thirty?!" thirty sins added.
(Game gives us two long-ass Logic Chess segments in the span of a single chapter. I like the minigame too, but not this much.)
"Sinning like chess for literary any reason at all." Ten sins added.
(Logic Chess against Sebastian requires Edgeworth to be nice to another person. I understand why they saved this challenge for the finale. It is quite the struggle for his character.)
"Sinning logic chess for literary any reason at all again." Ten sins added.
"And also, sinning this particular segment." Thirty sins added.
(Sebastian realizes his father was behind his kidnapping, and his first thought is that he's totally about to get murdered. That is very concerning.)
"And that makes his character human, considering people like him exist. Kids abused and treated like garbage by their parents, that have to work hard with themselves and receive support from people who actually care about them to find the strength to fight back. You have failed to get the characterization of every single character in this game. You see, that's the problem when sinning amazing games with amazing plotlines. You don't have anything of substance to sin, so you stick to tiny irrelevant deals and miss the entire point of the story the game is trying to tell." One sin added.
(Nothing ever happens to Blaise's thugs for kidnapping people.)
"You cannot know that. Maybe Blaise named them after Roland's trial ended and the police grabbed them from whenever they were hiding. Pierce sins something she cannot knop cliché." One sin added.
(We switch to Shields's POV for the court scene) "Oh. I guess I was wrong about never playing as Shields in this game earlier. But since the game doesn't allow us to try any of the alternatives I mentioned earlier.)
"See?! That's what I keep saying! She admits we do play as Shields, but her sin from earlier is still in the fic! Why, I ask you?" Ten sins added.
(First Engarde, now Keyes. When are people going to learn that trying to screw over de Killer is a terrible idea?)
"I don't think that's knowledge everyone is aware of. I don't think Keyes had heard about De Killer's morality code against his clients. And he did not really try to screw him over. He just claimed the victim was the president when he was just his body double. That is still serious for De Killer, but…" one sin added.
(Sirhan Dogen escaped from prison three days ago and literally no one cared until just now.)
"Again…how the fuck do you know that? Who's to say the police has not been after him for these three days? Because we never hear about it? That's not how this works!" one sin added.
(De Killer takes the elevator down into a plaza full of cops dressed like an alias they now know he goes by, yet he is magically able to evade capture for the thousandth time without-apparently-even causing a scene. At this point, I'm not even gonna ask how he does it anymore.)
"Yeah, you shouldn't. If you cannot even get De Killer is capable of getting away always unnoticed…then I don't get why you are still here. You missed the train years ago." One sin added.
(Keyes brags about his behind the scenes shenanigans over the phone... completely defeating the point of keeping his shenanigans behind the scenes to begin with. Not to mention, he's calling Courtney's cell phone, proving that he also has his hands in John Marsh's kidnapping as well... Even the genius culprits accidentally foil their own plot sometimes. For all his abilities, Keyes found abiding to cliché simply too much to resist)
"Keyes did not intend to keep him masterminding of the game's events hidden. He wanted to gloat to Edgeworth about how he is out of the law's reach. He still keeps his identity hidden, but no harm in trying to relish in mentally torturing your opponent. You make it sound like being involved in John's kidnapping is what does him in...but it's not. No evidence can link him to that and he almost gets away with it." One sin added.
(Hey, how did Keyes get Courtney's number?)
"Maybe he found a way to hack into her contacts and discover it. This guy has been on the run from crazed killers for 12 years. He needs to build up a skill or two." One sin added.
(I would honestly pay to see this. Make sure no animals or assassins can intervene on Keyes's behalf, though. Keep the fight fair.)
"Pierce sins something she likes cliché." One sin added.
(Edgeworth thinks his story about getting bugged is good enough for Nicole Swift to make headlines. He gives her reporting skills waaaaay too much credit.)
"I actually thinks she is a pretty capable reporter. She can even intercept information throughout wireless wiretapping. Sure, that's illegal but it's also what saves the case. So Nicole is a good journalist." One sin added.
(Also... how dare Gumshoe be a more competent investigator off screen than at any time when we interact with him. Maybe he is better off stepping out of Edgeworth's shadow.)
"Acting like Gumshoe is not capable all-most of-the time." One sin added.
(Getting Gumshoe to report in his side investigation) "Great tidbits, but... can we maybe receive these when we aren't on a time sensitive retrieval mission? Marsh first, camera quirks second.)
"Well, Gumshoe's information is actually useful in solving the kidnapping case. And Gumshoe himself shows a lot of character growth here. This is Gumshoe's game, as well." Three sins added.
(The plan to take Marsh out with the trash) "The only way this plan works is if Marsh made no movements or noise at all while being loaded onto a garbage truck. Even if he was knocked unconscious before box diving, there's no guarantee Marsh would stay asleep long enough, right? Drugs are not as reliable as this game seems to think they are.)
"No. But they can last up to 8 hours. Which means they definitely last more than half an hour. That would be more than enough time for Simon to carry out the kidnapping." One sin added.
[(Blaise threatens to take his teenage son back home to "play" with him) "Is this game implying what I think it's implying? Because if so... holy shit that is dark. I need to cleanse my soul after this scene.)]
"Who said this game is not dark? Really, between the kidnappings, the many murders, Simon's childhood, all the horrible parenting…yeah, this is a pretty dark game. And Blaise is a villain, so I don't see the problem with him acting the way he does." One sin added.
(Three phones go off at once in court) "I understand Courtney and Edgeworth's phone ringing, but... really? Shields too? Between this and some of Phoenix's antics, I'm beginning to think no one turns off or even silences their cell phones when they go to court.)
"They were all expecting the crucial evidence to be found and delivered and also waiting for the kidnapped son to be rescued. They needed to be informed if either was found. And that means they need their phones so they can take calls." One sin added.
(Why does Courtney need to extend her gavel in this scene?)
"To become even more of a badass? I mean, that's the point. Her son is safe and the person that tried to kidnap him is there. Blaise is in a world of pain right now." One sin added.
(Lang? You were a fifteen year old in Zheng Fa when the SS-5 incident happened. Shut up about it being 'the case you never forgot' and 'finally coming back for revenge'. You took over for your father in this time!")
"Pierce yells at the screen cliché." one sin added.
(Marsh's milk carton sweats when Marsh is upset.)
"Pierce failing at game logic n. 236654." One sin added.
(Also... if Blaise was really doing this yesterday (IE day Edgeworth spent the night in the detention center) on top of his role in the previous episode... then wow does Blaise keep a busy schedule. He's Chief of the PIC, neck deep in at least two obstruction jobs by this point, and he had the time to go digging for hours on private property?)
"Yup. That's what being the chief means. Dump all the work on your subordinates, get briefed on it later so you can pretend you worked as well and take all the credit for it. Why is that so surprising for you?" one sin added.
(Speaking of old men, Marsh constantly refers to Edgeworth as an 'old man'. Edgeworth is the same age as Courtney in this game.)
"He's still pretty old for Marsh. And I don't think he would call his adoptive mother old." One sin added.
[(Marsh "confesses" to accidentally killing HBD) In Marsh's damage animation, his backpack briefly opens to reveal what appear to be more milk cartons. Unless his backpack comes with a built in refrigerator, I wouldn't drink those after being outside for several hours. And if Marsh is going to ignore my warning and drink the spoiled milk anyway, he has no right to complain any longer about his stomach problems.]
"Pierce failing at game logic n. 236655." One sin added.
(And the entire-non villain cast of this case (save two people) assembles in a tiny ass film lot. This is going to make investigating difficult. Especially once the hologram goes up and people run into present-day barriers that are no longer visible.)
"Pierce failing at game logic n. 236656." One sin added.
"Also, sinning a little thief segment for any reason at all." Twenty sins added.
(Jack Cameron's character design. How in the ever loving fuck did he land a girlfriend, let alone one as hot as Jill Crane? Either Crane seriously upgraded herself in twelve years' time, or she had low standards. Or Cameron was a wonderful guy and I'm being a shallow asshole.)
"At least you're self-aware. That counts for something…probably." Five sins added.
(How does no one run face first into the Grand Tower during this investigation? The door is about where Cameron's body should be, and the tower is a huge ass building besides .)
"Little thief has been used in two games now and the specifics have never been made clear. And they don't really need to, because this is a fictional world and not everything needs to make perfect sense in a realistic setting. It wouldn't be fun that way. So… Pierce failing at game logic n. 236657." One sin added.
(Speaking of, I compared the present scene to the hologram at least ten times while writing this review, and Courtney and Marsh are standing in the adjacent film lot right now with no visibility problems regarding the rest of the hologram. Shields is also standing in the Grand Tower garbage area with the same lack of problems. Just... how?!)
"(Sigh.) Pierce failing at game logic n. 236658. Is she gonna keep doing this all day? Please tell me she's not gonna keep doing this all day." One sin added.
(No one walks by or through this giant ass holographic simulation in a public area. The police didn't cordon off the space, and the Grand Tower is fifty(-one) floors of office buildings with a romantic rooftop destination. Are you telling that absolutely no one went in, out, or pulled up to the driveway during this entire investigation segment? Game is indeed telling me that, and honestly? F… them.)
"And also honestly? F… you. Because you are terrible at suspending you disbelief and therefore have no business sinning a video game, since you just call it out for being…not realistic. As if anyone wants to see a realistic videogame. This is getting annoying, it's the fourth time you've complained about this so eat ten sins and go to bed." Ten sins added.
(Between the hat style and the trenchcoat, the kidnapper in 'Cameron's' photo bears an unfortunate resemblance to Gregory Edgeworth.)
"Okay…and? I am still waiting for an actual sin here." One sin added.
(Where was Amy Marsh when the SS-5 incident went down, anyway? We know she was a no show for the orphanage, but what happened to her instead? That was never explained.)
"It is. The conspirators needed her to stay away, so Blaise stalked her to try and scare her off. It worked and she went home, fearing for her life." One sin added.
[(Marsh is the president of Zheng Fa's son) Well, this news is sure gonna generate press for the young actor. I bet Global Studios will be all over this. If Swift and Lotta aren't already.]
"Pierce explains what is happening in game, gives her personal opinion and treats it as a sin for no reason." One sin added.
(Also, Marsh totally thinks he committed patricide now. Fun thoughts to have as a thirteen year old, huh? I may not like Marsh, but I still feel bad for him.)
"And this is what completes his character arc, so it is kind of important to get through this pain and trauma." One sin added.
(How did HBD ever pull this switch off? Forget the fact that he lost contact with the Langs for a moment. Are you telling me that the original Huang had no family or close friends who were tipped off by 'Huang's' sudden change in behavior? The DNA of the nation's leader isn't known anywhere in Zheng Fa and HBD never had DNA taken from him for medical reasons? The game doesn't imply there was anyone else in on the scheme, so that would have been hard to fake. I sure hope Huang and HBD were the same blood type, or transfusions are now potentially lethal for HBD. Game also implies that HBD was a worse president than the real Huang, so why did no one notice his sudden drop in political competence in the days following the kidnapping? How did HBD stay in office for twelve years after the switch if he sucks this badly? Need I remind you his country went through an economic crisis caused by forged currency under his watch? There's a reason he was pulling publicity stunts in the first episode, you know!)
(Furthermore, are you honestly telling me HBD has always looked exactly like Huang, save (apparently) his physique?)
"Do you have any idea how political decoys work? What am I asking, of course you don't. They are chosen specifically because they bare a striking resemblance to a politicians. That can be enchanted by plastic surgery, but that's not to say the didn't look anything like them. And also, you later claim that Huang's body double should have family or friends…but, again, you don't know how this works. Political decoys need to be kept a secret. Their very reason to live is to put their lives on the line so the real politician can be safe. If people willing to assassinate a politician knew he was using decoys, that would defeat the entire purpose of using them in the first place. In other words, if you decide to become a body double for a politician…you don't have a personal life anymore. You are legally dead and buried and no longer exist an individual. The rest of the rant is not that far-fetched…but you still give forty-five sins based on pretty wrong information. So he's lofty." Fifty sins added.
(No one ever noticed that Cameron just 'happened to own' the same model and size of shoes as President Huang.)
"Honesty, on an objective level…who would anyone notice that? Millions of people wear the same types of shoes and have the same shoe size. This sin is stupid." One sin added.
(No one even tries to arrest the escaped prisoner when he barges in on a conversation between investigators and a dozen other witnesses. I'm... not going to get into how Dogen snuck into here with such a crowd of people never noticing…)
"If De Killer can do it so easily, it's a Tuesday morning for this guy." One sin added.
(Keyes's best idea for getting rid of footprints in the snow... is to burn the area with footprints in front of the only place he remembers having to live as a kid. Bit drastic, don't you think?)
"Drastic situations call for drastic measures. And also the fire was meant less to get rid of the footprints and more to allow Dogen to escape before his clients killed him. So, yeah, this was required." One sin added.
(If Roland was so desperate to kill Dogen during SS-5 and willing to resort to murder when she thought Knightley was the acolyte, why didn't she ever try to murder Dogen while he was under her watch? She might never have beaten him in a real fight, but her position as warden would have surely let her poison his food, chain and beat him to death, bribe a rival prisoner to shank him, make him commit 'suicide' in solitary confinement... the possibilities for abuse of power are endless, and the game is telling me she never attempted anything? Fuck out of here! )
"You think she could actually beat him in a fight? Or any other inmate? You know, the deadly assassin guy everyone is terrified of? And poisoning him or making him commit "Suicide" would attract too much attention to her as warden of the prison. Even with Blaise covering for her, things would be pretty bad." One sin added.
(Dogen claims he can hear Anubis's heart) "Wow. Of all the characters I was expecting to share abilities with Athena Cykes, Sirhan Dogen was not one of them.)
"Pierce makes a reference to a different game…" one sin added.
(Marsh tries to declare an oath of vengeance against an assassin who just sicced his murder dog on Edgeworth and escaped police custody for the second time this week. Marsh is out of his depth.)
"Now, yes. But he will grow up." One sin added.
(Also, Keyes tries to use Edgeworth's words from the second case against him, but the scene in question only shows Edgeworth agreeing that he thinks Keyes is innocent of murder. So far, Edgeworth has only accused Keyes of kidnappings. There's no contradiction in these words.)
"The contradiction is Edgeworth claimed to believe Keyes to be an innocent man who has committed no crime and yet now he is accusing him of a bunch of them. That does make it seem like he made a quick 180 on their relationship so far." One sin added.
(Keyes claims he is often found flying low in the city's airspace for advertising purposes. Unless the Berry Big Circus obtained a very long string of permits beforehand, that is not legal.)
"Maybe they did. And if they did, this sin is moot." One sin added.
(Keyes constantly refers to himself as a clown, but I thought his job in the circus was animal tamer. Did he also take over clown duties for Moe when Moe became ringmaster?)
"Maybe. It's not like answering this question changes anything about the game, but I will still entertain the idea." One sin added.
[(Shields and Kay pause the case to mock Keyes so Edgeworth has time to think) "This works.]
"Yes, it does. Because Keys has committed he basic villain mistake of being too prideful. Pride comes before a fall. He considers himself a genius that can manipulate everyone and anyone around him. He hates it when people insult his intelligence and try to mock him, so it makes sense this would hit him where it hurts." One sin added.
(Knightley sent Keyes a letter on March 26th, but it arrived on April 5th. Knightley and Keyes are in the same city. Even acknowledging the circus's changing location, the letter should not be this late.)
"You sure about that? I'm pretty sure constantly moving circuses get their mail delayed all the time. And no matter where you are…since when is postal service reliable?" one sin added.
(Hey, I have a question about Keyes and Knightley's family situations: where are mothers?)
"Maybe they both died. Seriously, the fact they never tried finding their children and there was no reference of them in any part of the game makes it very likely they have passed away. They are not seen with Keyes, Knightley and their fathers in their photograph and there is not even a mention of them, even by Keyes himself. Sure, there is no confirmation of that being the case, but it is as plausible a scenario ad any." One sin added.
(That said, the only murder victim I was never fully 'on board' with Keyes targeting was Jill Crane. Yes, she'd agreed to defend Roland, but so did Shields. We don't know what kind of a lawyer Crane was. For all we know, she took Roland's case for the same reason Courtney got buddy-buddy with Sebastian: to get to Blaise. Crane wanted Blaise to go down as much as Keyes did because Cameron was arguably in the same position Keyes was during the IS-7 incident. The only differences are that Cameron died while Keyes survived and Cameron had people in his life who cared about him while Keyes felt like he never did. Crane is the exact sort of position Keyes would have wanted on his side, but instead of acknowledging a kindred spirit, he got her killed. Even by Keyes's twisted logic, she didn't deserve this.)
"And why should Keyes care about her? Seriously, he may be a tragic character, but that doesn't change the fact he is a cunning, ruthless manipulator. He is like a chess master, seeing everyone likes pawns for him to use and then discard like gnawed carrions once they've outlives their usefulness. He did not care about Crane. He just needed her because of her backstory. Her boyfriend was murdered and his murder was covered up by Blaise. She is the only person Keyes knows of that would hate him enough to want to kill him. He pits them against each other for that reason only and does not feel sorry for her death since it means Blaise will be brought down. This guy does not care about anyone other than himself. He may have been through a lot but that doesn't mean he has the right to play God with people's lives. He thinks he does and that's what makes him go from a sympathetic character to a full-on sociopathic villain." One sin added.
(Where did Keyes get one of Dogen's bells to attach to the chisel?)
"Well, since he and Dogen had been in touch for so long, even before he got caught and imprisoned, he could have gotten it. Hell, for all we know, Dogen gave it to him as thanks for helping him escape twelve years ago." One sin added.
(Why does Edgeworth back out of using Keyes's phone call itself as evidence so quickly? In Turnabout Sisters and Rise from the Ashes, we were able to use phone conversations as evidence no problem! Sure, he'd altered his voice, but there is such software that can undo that, and it did exist as of April this year.)
"Are you talking about the real world? Because…when was such software confirmed to be available in the AA universe? Oh, never? Yes, the fact something is available in the real world does not automatically make it available in every fictional universe. Right now, there is an actual, conventional war going on in Asia. Is there one going in the AA universe? Exactly. The reality of the real world and the reality of the fictional world are two entirely different things. Try not to confuse the two, would you?" one sin added.
(Why did HBD immediately fire at the Berry Big Circus balloon? Keyes says it's because HBD wanted to kill Courtney and Keyes would have been a witness, but that point is contradicted by the fact that HBD let Courtney go before shooting.)
"There is actually a way to explain this. The body double was planning to kill Courtney. But he couldn't allow himself to be implicated. That's why he arranged their meeting to take place in secret with not even bodyguards present: so that nobody would see them talk that night and so, when her body was found and the time of death determined, nobody could connect him to it. But suddenly, Keys appeared and saw the two of them. The body double now could not risk killing Courtney because the guy in the balloon might decide to go to the police about it. He only fired after he saw the balloon descending towards him and felt threatened. He told Courtney to go because if she saw him fire at the balloon, and therefore discovered he had a pistol, she could get suspicious about his motives. That's what happened. The game does not outright tell you, but it doesn't always need to. The game developers trust the thinking sanities of players and think they can figure it out. And they can. The proof? I just did. I know you can think, too. Really, I know you are not that dumb. Why do you pretend to be for these fics?!" One sin added.
(Keyes's argument that HBD ever used the 51st floor hatch makes no sense. First of all, it presumes that HBD knew it was there to begin with. Second of all, it presumes that HBD was there but unnoticed for all the night's shenanigans within the Grand Tower (Kay's fall, Crane's murder, Blaise and Jenson's cover-up, and the whole ass secret auction) when several of these witnesses would have no reason to conceal HBD's presence-most notably Jenson, but also Lotta if she woke up in time.)
"Not that you don't make a good case…but your claim Lotta might have woken up in time is pretty dumb. Because Lotta outright states she did not wake up until Edgeworth and company stumbled into the 51st floor the next day. So she couldn't have witnesses anything even if she wanted to."
[(Keyes increases our penalty to 50% and Edgeworth marvels at the amount) I agree with raising the stakes at this point of the case, but... what are these two talking about in-universe, exactly?]
"Pierce failing at game logic n. 236658." One sin added.
(Let me get this straight: HBD was squashed by a slowly descending hot air balloon. That is what killed him.)
"Why is that so hard to believe? Fully inflated hot air balloon actually weigh at about 2 1/2 tons. So….yeah, if one lands on you, you are dead. And yes, it does descend slowly, but that actually makes sense. You see, you drop a 2 ton box from a crane and it lands on a person. What happens to them? They get flattened and squashed. But if you slowly lower it and place it on them…they still die, but they don't get squashed. But they will still suffocate under the weight of two tons placed on them. The president is not one with the ground exactly because the balloon landed on his slowly." One sin added.
(Keyes fit HBD's giant ass corpse into his balloon (probably doubling the basket's weight) and still managed to fly him away with no trouble. I can understand transporting Kay. She's small enough to fly around. But HBD? Nope, sorry. I'm sinning it)
"But why? Hot air balloons can lift up to 1,000 pounds (½ a ton.) Even with the basket it can easily lift a small girl, a slender man and a bulky man." One sin added.
[(Keyes has a fake breakdown) "This troll]
"Sinning Keys for being a clever antagonist. This also just further showcases the similarity with his father, the one he is right now trying to deny having." One sin added.
(Keyes's tongue is absurdly red. What, was he sucking on a cherry popsicle before we arrived? I thought Keyes didn't like sweets.)
"This is clearly done on purpose, to imply just how evil he is. Red is always the color of ominousness." One sin added.
(Gumshoe in a Big Damn Heroes moment. This game shows more restraint with their dramatic character entrances than its predecessor, but it still uses them from time to time.)
"So they took what their prequel did, expanded on it and performed it better. Why is that a sin again?" one sin added.
[(The animals attack Keyes the way he threatened to have them attack Edgeworth and co. if they tried to prevent his escape) Irony.]
(That said... for a villain so masterful, I am sad that they went with a comedic breakdown for this guy. Yes, it symbolically captures the image of pawns rising against their chessmaster, but... they couldn't have animated it any less cartoonishly?)
"Pierce hate irony for no reason cliché." One sin added.
"Also, sinning this incredible breakdown, with an amazing meaning that you yourself acknowledge. What kind of horrific, pig-brained, slag jawed dumbbell would sin this amazing thing? Them's fighting sins!" seventy sins added.
(That said... not one, but two assassins snuck into a circus tent guarded by the police, and neither one of them faced any trouble getting in whatsoever. De Killer even escapes without breaking a sweat. Dogen probably could if he'd wanted to, but he chooses to go to prison with Keyes instead. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the police suck at their jobs.)
"Honestly…what is the takeaway here? That the police suck at their jobs? Or that the two assassins are just…that good? I think it's the latter." One sin added.
[(Dogen gives his knife to Marsh and offers to let the teen kill him) When did Dogen get his knife back? In the confrontation with De Killer, he appeared to be holding a chisel. Not only that, but I thought his knife was disposed of by Blaise before Roland's trial. Did Dogen also go dumpster diving before joining the tent party? Did the trial finally find it, and he stole it from the courthouse? Does he secretly have more than one knife?]
"Why do you make that on scenario sound that unlikely? You think knives are hard to come by for an expert assassin?" one sin added.
(April 8th in the PIC room) "It's the afternoon of the 8th already? How long was our confrontation with Keyes, again? I know it took a while, but I didn't think Edgeworth was going to investigate through the night again for two finales in a row. And what happened on the 7th? Game skips days and thinks I won't notice.]
"The meeting in the PIC room is to give Edgeworth his badge back. You think it's easy to get that done? There is a tone of bureaucracy involved. With the head of the PIC behind bars, it would probably take even longer. Edgeworth is lucky he got friendly with Courtney, otherwise he would be retired by the time the paperwork was done." One sin added.
[(Telling Courtney about our main series judge as a reminder that she too can act humane) This is cute and all, but... are you telling me she's never met any of the other judges in this series before?]
"Who's saying he is talking about a specie judge? He just explains what virtues a good judge should possess, so that Courtney can follow them. There is no guarantee our usual judge is the one he's thinking of when saying all that." One sin added.
(Also, Edgeworth, of all people, saying that perfection is overrated..)
"Yes…he came to that realization by the end of JFA. You are still going…and since this is the final game to be sinned, I have no idea when you'll actually get there." One sin added.
(Post credit scenes. What is this, a Marvel movie? Yes, I know other games have them. Do you not remember how sad I got when I saw the one in SoJ?)
"Yes, because that was actually sad, because it involved a loose end that has yet to be tied up. But this…is a great one. It shows the dynamic between Edgeworth, Kay and Gumshoe as a team. It is a shame two of them never appear again, but the message of this scent is still great." One sin added.
Total sins tally: 354
Sentence: crushed by a hot air balloon.
So, this is it. The final game sinned by Pierce. I have sinned all of her fics. And…it feels good. I wanted to do this, to make sure people would see the truth, understand what Pierce is doing. I repeat, I don't hate her fics. In fact, I like them. There are a lot of great ideas here. And Piercy herself is a cool person. The issue is she felt the need to copy a medium of questionable integrity-cinemasins-and copy all of their problems. Their superficiality, their scene manipulations, their stupidity and their cringeness. There was no need for that. If you stuck to being a proper reviewer, I would probably like this a lot more. It's a shame, Pierce. You could be good at this, you could become a good reviewer…but you choose a different way, partner. But I hold no animosity. Really, no matter what I've said, don't let my words, or those of anyoe else, discourage you. Do whatever you want and be proud of the work you get done. But be prepared for the criticism you mistakes and follies will bring upon you. So, my work here is done. Goodbye for now. And…if you ever decide to sin the great ace attorney games…. I will be glad to sin you once more. But until then, Farewell.
And to the people reading this, I hope that you liked his, that you found it at least a bit funny and informative and you will understand why I felt the need to do this. If you don't and you think I'm an idiot for calling Pierce out like that…that's cool. You're entitled to your opinion. I can respect that. But I am not obliged to agree with or accept it. I did what I did because I felt like it and I feel no guilt. If you didn't like this, that's your issue, not mine. And I would appreciate it if those of you having a negative opinion could keep it to yourselves. Again, I don't have to agree with your sentiment. Just go and tell it to a friend or a relative. So…goodbye, guys. And if you actually enjoyed this, feel free to let me know. And if someone decides to show their negative opinion here…please keep it as courteous as possible. We are civilized people and there is no need to try and enforce you opinion on me. Because that will not make me agree with you.