"Sit."
Jondy staggered backwards, his hip hit the bedpost and he slumped to the floor. Perconia tossed rope she'd yoinked from Sixbeet's shed, then swished her pistol at Bacon. "Tie him up."
"Ain't this too extra?" Jondy slurred.
Perconia ignored him. Jondy had downed a fair amount of brews but she sensed he was playing it up. On the other hand, Bacon was totally trashed. He bent over, fumbled with the ropes, overbalanced, face-planted. Perconia scratched her head with the butt of the gun. She'd only had two beers and they'd pinked her cheeks.
"Looks like it's on you," Jondy said. "Or ask Sixbeet."
"No chance." She gave Bacon a light kick. He got to his hands and knees. "Come on. Tie him as best you can."
"You got weird kinks, lady."
"Shut it."
Bacon did a lousy job of tying Jondy's torso and arms to the bedpost. Still, it made Perconia feel safe enough to get close and tighten it properly. While she was in his space, tugging at him, they could feel each other's breath. She wasn't close enough for a headbutt, and spitting would accomplish zip. He'd truly not had a single chance to overpower her or escape. Jondy actually admired her - she was as sharp and cautious as he was.
"Perconia… you spent all your time shut up in your sewing shop. How're you single here?"
She finished then stood, looked down her nose at him.
"I'm widowed. I like my independence." Her head turned. "Bacon, clear out of here. Go crash in the other room."
Bacon grunted and crawled for the doorway.
"You know, this aint comfy at all…"
Perconia stepped around on the creaky floorboards and returned with a pillow and gallon jug of ale.
"Down all of this. Then you'll sleep like a baby. I'll set you up with the pillow after." She held out the booze and from the sloshing it was near full.
"Hey… this is way too extra."
"If you prefer, I'll spill the news to Sixbeet about your bounty? We could hand you over and split the cash reward."
She was on his level. A shame.
Jondy squirmed. His face went grave and he fully lost the flirty tone. "Just give me the drink."
She began pouring for him. Some spilled down his chin but she made sure he finished it all. Afterwards Perconia used her sleeve to wipe his clean-shaven chin. She squeezed the pillow behind his head, methodically, without meeting his eyes.
She turned away. "Sleep tight."
"What if I gotta piss?" His slurring was genuine now.
"I left you the bottle."
"Number two?"
She stopped in the doorway, turning back. Bacon was sprawled on a hay block behind her.
"You're not my pet. You're a highwayman and a con artist. Why should I care if you have to deal with a mess?"
There wasn't a hint of sympathy in her gaze, nothing he could work with.
"Bitch." A line of spit flecked down his jaw.
She grinned and closed the door. Jondy wiped his face against his shoulder, resolving to wait until midnight.
The forced drunkenness made it even harder, and the ropes were tight. Still, Jondy managed to reach for the switchblade he'd used for shaving. He'd been made to return it but they'd disregarded his quick fingers. It took longer than it should, but soon Jondy was in a position to slowly saw at his restraints. Once free he had to take extra care not to knock or stumble into anything. He cursed Perconia as the room spun. Creeping out to the backdoor he then raced low under cold desert moonlight. He'd just untied the reins of the black steed when a noise made him jump around.
It was Bacon, face-planting again with that villager grunt sound.
Jondy realized they were alone and sighed in relief. "What are you doing?"
"L-let me come with you, Jondy! Please!" He whispered.
"You shouldn't even be here. Go home."
"I can be useful!"
"You have a good job and good thing going with the governor. Why would you want to be an outlaw?"
"Because…" His eyes were wet with drunk honesty. "I want to feel alive!"
Jondy lowered his gaze, hiding his face in moonshadow. He turned and hopped onto the horse, swinging his leg over. He looked down at Bacon. Jondy rarely ever did nice things for people. Maybe it was the alcohol swirling the edges of his vision.
"Bacon… stay away from me. I bring down everyone around me, and worse, I don't even care. Look at the state of you. I've already made you into a drunk. If you follow me things will get worse, you'll probably die. So go home."
With that Jondy whipped the reins and his horse charged out into the cold desert, the stars above were his guide. Bacon watched him go, falling to his knees in a slump. He lowered his head in the darkness.
Hours later, a bucket of water was dumped on Bacon. He sat up, groaning with a monster headache.
"Wha- what?"
He looked around and saw Perconia with the bucket, fuming. Behind her Sixbeet itched his forehead. Instead of heading back inside Bacon had passed out on the deck. It was just after dawn, the sky above the flat horizon was rosy pink.
"You saw him leave, right? And you didn't try to stop him?"
Bacon thought about lying but was too messed up. "...What could I do?"
"You could've called me." She swished the gun at him. "Get up. You're gonna show me where he went. We're going after him."
"B-but why me!? I didn't trash your shop!"
"You never paid me for stitching your clothes, remember? Also, you chose to get in the way and tag along."
Bacon leaned back, nursing his head.
Perconia turned to Sixbeet. "We'll get out of your hair now. But could I trouble you for more water first? Dude needs to sober up."
"Okie-dokie."
Sixbeet also packed more food for them. He carried it out as they sat on the white mare together. "That handful of amethyst is all I've got - this place has zilch left for me. I should head back to the township myself, see what work I can find…"
"I might see you around then. Thanks, again."
Sixbeet smiled and his gold tooth shone in the rising sun.
Perconia faced ahead. "Which way, Bacon?"
He pointed for her and she flicked the reins. They galloped off toward the flat sands and cacti. Within a minute Bacon was leaning over and blowing chunks.
"Don't fall off," she warned.
She wasn't heartless enough to leave him if he did pass out. Either way, she was determined to catch Jondy before he found help. If not him, maybe she'd run into that hitman Zenzone. Whoever it was didn't matter - she needed money. Bacon clung tight to her as they jostled along.
Five miles south of Los Sanatos was a base for Jondy's crew. It was kept hush-hush so Zenzone likely hadn't caught wind of it. Jondy zoomed back to the coast, then hopped off his ride, lashing the reins to a palm tree. He pushed into greenery by the water. Then took a quick dip to freshen up and sober up. After, he scaled the rocks around the bay. He'd hoped to spot some of his mates, but was taken aback at finding all of them working on something epic.
"What in the… Whoopy, what's the deal?"
"Yo, Jondy. You're still kicking." The older man greeted as he came over.
Hazzard, Cobra, Crazy Eyes, Knockout - all his bar chums were hard on the grind. Even Deputy Shark was pitching in, slyly assisting without the other Platos knowing. As an insider he was their ace in the hole.
"What's all this?" Jondy asked as Whoopy reached him.
"Lit, huh? We salvaged bits of Howitzer's sunken cargo ships, and we cobbled together a boat!" The vessel was proper big, almost scraping the cave's roof. Tucked away here, it was unlikely the governor had seen it.
Falco, the kid of the town, was also hard at work on the top deck. He stood up and gave a shout, "Jondy, what's good!"
Jondy turned back to Whoopy. "You put this together?"
"With everyone here hustling for nine days, we got it ready to sail. Hazzard and Cobra snagged a steering wheel from a shipwreck, Knockout helped secure the mast. Everyone's put in work… except you."
Jondy rested hands on his hips. "Meaning?"
"You got no stake in this, and you bring too much drama."
Jondy wasn't fazed. "How do you feel about a minecart full of amethyst?"
As always, cash gave Whoopy pause. Jondy had led them to jackpots before, it was the foundation of their partnership.
"I'm listening…"
"An old geezer in the desert lives near a mine. There's a crawl tunnel through a cave-in site. I went through first, moved the cart before the others could see. Everyone but me thinks it's all gone."
"Welcome aboard!" Whoopy threw an arm around him, stoked.
Normally Jondy would've pushed him off but the boat had hooked his attention. Leaning back, he crossed his arms. "You aiming to be a pirate, huh?"
"It's an option, ain't it? Crew's already locked in."
"I'm not ready to leave Los Sanatos…" Jondy mumbled after a beat.
Whoopy eyeballed him. He yanked him aside to a nook in the cave. "Same here… that's why my first plan is this…" He paused, clasping Jondy's arms. "We assassinate the governor."
"What?" Jondy was bamboozled.
"We seize control of the Platos, impersonate Starganade, keep writing letters to the kingdom. Then Los Sanatos will actually be ours."
"You serious!?" Jondy scoffed, disappointment washed over Whoopy's face. "How long can we keep that hushed up? The kingdom will roll in with an army."
"It'll be a month or two tops before we get our next Howitzer," Whoopy countered, leaning in like a conspirator. "Both choices just delay the inevitable. If you're not feeling my plan, let's just embrace the pirate life!"
Jondy shook off Whoopy's grip and turned away. He needed a sec to cool down his temper. There had to be a plan he'd not yet considered to save Los Sanatos. His brain started whirring.
Falco dashed down the deck and raced over.
"Hull's good, deck's nearly intact, captain!" He wiped sweat from his brow. "Can we have our maiden voyage this arvo?"
Whoopy grinned. "For sure, kid. Let Diablo and Shark do their checks first."
At noonday a white patched sail partly unfurled, an anchor hoisted up, and they cruised out of the cave and onto the ocean. The ship was a mix of mostly spruce, with oak, acacia, and even bamboo planks.
"How about… Cornelia?" Whoopy tossed out from the front deck. Jondy stood beside him. "Got a sick vibe to it, right?"
"Hmph." Jondy looked away, the wind playing with their hair. "So what makes you the captain, anyway?"
"I dreamed up this here ship."
"I'm surprised the thing's staying afloat. Our smartest move will be to nab a better ship asap."
"Captain!" Cobra interrupted them, sprinting from the port side. "Another ship's coming our way!"
They hurried after him.
Jondy snagged the gold spyglass from Cobra's grip. He raised it to see a distant flagship, chock-full of Platos. At the helm was Governor Starganade, all wigged up and scowling. Next to him, a big guy all in black - Zenzone.
Jondy slowly lowered the spyglass, somebody else snatched it.
"Bet this oversized floatie ain't packing cannons, right?"
"Those sank straight to the ocean floor," Whoopy replied. "There was no saving them."
"Think they just wanna chat?" Falco leaned over the railing.
"No way." Whoopy looked bummed, ready to throw in the towel.
Jondy turned to shout, "Hoist the sails!"
Whoopy stuttered, "Y-you think we can outrun a military ship?"
"You built this thing for speed, right? We won't know until we try!"
The crew was shaky, but at Jondy's rallying they pumped themselves up for it. Eager to defend their hard graft - their best shot at keeping their freedom.