Early Author's Note: Just before the chapter, the wonderful Pretend Fiction has actually gone and done a piece of fanart for yours truly's fanfic, which you can see right here: whorianhavilliard. tumblr com / post / 141421021163/ has-your-sense-of-direction-ever-gotten-you-into

You'll have to remove the spaces, you can thank FFnet for the silliness regarding outgoing links. I just love how the scene just screams Roy's typical "well... damn" usual line of thought :D

Thanks a lot Pretend Fiction! :)

Ten seconds to go. Despite all my efforts trying to work the system with my omni-tool, the code kept re-writing itself before I could break through. Five, four, three...

Damn!

The alarms started blaring overhead, and my comms filled with the yells from my team. Goddammit, way to screw it up. I bolted out of the junction, assault rifle blazing and taking down automated turrets to cover our retreat. We made it out, mostly, and then the whole scenario powered down, ambient lights illuminating the bunker.

"Shit!" I yelled, stopping short of throwing my assault rifle at the ground in a childish tantrum.

"This is the third time," Kim said over the comms.

"I know!" I snapped in frustration.

It wasn't her I was angry at. It was myself. It was the third time we had failed the exercise, and it was my damn fault.

The setup was straightforward enough scenario. A defensive outpost that had been missed by the Alliance's scouting parties. We were to take it over and turn it into an asset. If we were marines, we would simply steamroll it, but that's not what N7s did. Hell no, they went the extra mile. And it wasn't just a lightly guarded place, it was full of redundant systems, VI-assisted independent networks, cyberwarfare units, the works.

Because that's how N7s roll. A team of N7s wouldn't have had a problem. Heck, a couple of N7s would have probably been able to wing it. A bunch of N1s trying to make it to N2? Not so much.

The first plan had been to hit straight in, with me staying back as the designated marksman for cover, and get to the command centre. It would do some damage, but it could still leave us with a lot of working turrets and drones. We never got past the second line of defense, when hidden reserve drones came swarming onto the group and I couldn't take them down fast enough.

Second plan had been to split and attack from two positions, the first group drawing most of the attention while the others came from the opposite end, tech heavy and hacking our way through. I was in charge of watching their backs, and we got overwhelmed.

Third plan was this one, and it was up to all of us to take down some of the tech defensive capabilities. There were plenty of defensive systms, but taking half a dozen of them could have been enough. And I had just missed the window for my part.

Three strikes and you're out. Out of the Vila.

"Enough of this!" our N7 instructor came out yelling at us. "You're wasting my time! You've had three chances, now it's my turn. What's it going to be?"

Nervous glances were exchanged all around. A few of them lingered on me, and with good reason. At the end of the day, I had been the one to screw up first during all three attempts. Sure, the initial one was mostly because it was my plan, and on the second one the distraction team hadn't drawn enough attention to themselves, but the bucket stopped with me.

"I'm quite happy to send all six of you packing!" our instructor yelled.

Well, no. You're not sending Kim back because of me.

"That won't be necessary, sir. I'm the one who's been screwing up," I said.

I heard Kim's voice as she started to protest, but a sharp look from our instructor quickly silenced her.

"Whoop-dee-doo," he said. "So what are you waiting for?"

There was no reason for me to answer. With a quick look back, I made eye contact with Kim before starting the walk of shame back to the Vila.

Seems like N1 was all I was ever going to be.

Roy,

How DARE YOU! How dare you quit on me! When I get back after I FINISH THE TRAINING I'm going to kick your stupid ass!

Kim.

"Lana?"

There was no answer. The apartment was dark, and looked like she hadn't been here in a while. Well, guess I got there first. I dropped the groceries on the counter and started livening up the place. Ventilation, lights, a bit of music. Dusting, too, we hadn't set foot there in almost two months, but we were both coming for our shore break at the same time. After the mission to the Shadow Broker's lair and the whole hoopla with the Council, life had gone back to normal. I kept my Fifth fleet assignment, Shepard hers with the Eighth, and life went on. Same as always. I hadn't heard anything from Benezia, the Broker, or even Shiala.

To be honest, I wasn't sure what I had been expecting to come out of all that. Nothing big made the news or anything, so I guess they were playing their cards close to their chest.

Once that was done, I turned to the task of cooking dinner. Cooking was many things for me, one of them was a way to clear my head. Having my forage into the N-school come to an end had been quite a shock, and I still hadn't managed to digest the whole thing. Man, and Kim was pissed.

Or, rather, Service Chief Chu. Yep, she got a promotion at the same time we were sent to N-school, and for what I had heard, I was in line to get one too. Which was a bit of a bummer, because it would mean either she or I would have to transfer. Rotation rules in the Fifth Fleet for the NCOs.

So, until then, we were just keeping it together. Kim, Elisa, and I, plus three FNGs. Kim's Arsekickers. Yeah, so it wasn't brilliantly creative, but it seemed to half-annoy, half-embarrass her, so we tried to live up to the name. Mostly, by trying to be on top of the property damage list during ops. Good times.

I lowered the heat on the caponata and covered the pot, put the apple crumble in the oven, and went for a shower. Damn, but the hot water felt good. Arcturus was a space station, so we still had a limit on how much water we were allowed to use. But it was still so much more than what we could use on the ships.

Sadly, I had to cut it short when the doorbell rang.

"One minute," I called, throwing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on quickly. "Who is it?"

"Corporal Morgan?" a feminine voice called.

Wait a goddamn...

I opened the door to a smiling Shiala. She was wearing a black Spectre armor, with a full load of weapons too. Most people didn't walk around the station in full gear, so if she wanted to avoid attention, she was doing a shoddy job at it.

"What on Earth?" I said.

"And a good afternoon to you too," Shiala replied. "May I come in? I feel half of the station's eyes chasing after my ass, which is less exciting than it used to be when I was a maiden."

"So why the getup?" I said, stepping to the side and gesturing for her to walk in.

"Misdirection. Most humans won't be able to describe me after looking at the hardsuit. For most humans, we all look the same," she said, and smirked at me.

I made a point of looking down at her ass, in a very overt fashion, but really, the suit was actually made for protection, so the curves wasn't particularly accentuated.

"If you say so." I shrugged, and went to check the food. Crumble was about done, the caponata needed a bit more. "What brings you here?"

She was unloading her weapons, racking them one by one on the magclips by the door. Yes, I had a weapons rack by the entrance, as well as an armor locker. Regulations. If we were off-duty, we were still expected to be able to get into our gear in a minute if we were in our apartments. Everyone protected Arcturus if we came under attack. After unloading her weapons, however, Shiala didn't bother to get rid of her armor.

"Maybe I wanted to see you?" she offered, but all she got was a raised eyebrow from me. "I heard you washed out at the N2." She sat on the sofa, crossing her legs, and gave me a fake annoyed look. "I'll have you know, you've cost me a thousand credits."

"Well gee, I'm sorry," I deadpanned, not stopping to marvel at how fast news had travelled. "What was your bet?"

"I had a thousand on you making it all the way to N7."

"Really?" I snorted. "That's optimistic."

With the food checked, I opened the cryo unit, and pulled two Astro-fizz bottles out. We had that, water, and very, very bad freeze-dried coffee. I offered her one, then dropped on the other side of the sofa, twisting the bottle top open and giving it a pull.

"So, what happened?"

"Nothing," I shrugged. "If all I needed to do to get to N7 is shoot shit, then I'd be one already. Everything else, well..."

"All you would require is practice, I'm sure."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. What brings you here?"

She smiled, and pulled a small disk from her omni-tool. Great. I grabbed it, fed it to my own omni-tool, and looked at the result. Another set of orders from up high, with the Office to Citadel Affairs signing them. Report in two days to an unscheduled flight.

"I love how they always offer so many details," I deadpanned.

Shiala laughed softly and offered her hand. Right, another meld. I took it, she leaned forward, and scooted closer to me. With her hand on the back of my neck, her eyes turned black, and she whispered at my ear, her breath warm.

"Embrace Eternity."

The meld was smooth this time, Shiala's consciousness and mine coming together with a seamless thought. Shiala was the one who was most surprised about it,

Wow, that was unexpected. Does it mean...

Let's just start again, shall we?

She seemed somewhat put off by my response, so my mind went back to my meeting with Benezia. Her asking me for a favour, to give Shiala a second chance. Nope, it didn't diminish her surprise.

You didn't ask her to tell me that?

No, I didn't. I...

She offered now a glimpse of her own meeting with Benezia, but I just shrugged it off. She didn't have to prove it, I believed her easily enough. She hesitated, and it ended up being a very strange experience. It was like being in limbo, while Shiala tried to put her thoughts in order. Had it been a deeper meld, I probably would have felt them, but I was happy to wait in the distance, so to speak, for her to sort her brain out.

When she finally did, what she wanted to know is why. A simple enough word, but the context was an arm's long. Why... All the whys, all the way to the day we met. Because it wasn't just that.

I don't know, I guess it's just habit. I don't expect people to do anything other than... Well, what they do.

It wasn't something I had ever tried to put into words, and I didn't quite agree to Shiala's suggestion to try the "asari way" of sharing. She didn't press it, though, and instead we went down to business. Another memory of Benezia giving her an assignment. The memory went back to her personal ship, but this time it wasn't Benezia's cabin. They were up at the bridge, and they had a projection of a ship on the main console. The meld wasn't deep enough for me to perceive the events as happening to myself, like in Pragia.

"One of our probes found this three days ago," Benezia was saying.

Recognize it?

Not really, no. Should I?

Shiala didn't answer, and Benezia kept talking.

"It matches perfectly with our records from the Rachni wars."

"Wow," Shiala said, echoing exactly what I was thinking. "What are we expecting to find in there?"

A rachni queen.

Aw, you spoiled the ending.

So, was she in there? Wait, what happened in Binary Helix?

We are about to find out.

Oh. Well, that makes sense. What about-

The meld broke rather suddenly when we heard noises. I turned to the door, my head swimming with the sudden change, and saw Shepard standing there, mouth open and looking awestruck.

"What the... Roy! Put a sock on the door or something!" she said.

What-

Shiala started laughing at that, falling back on her side of the sofa. Shepard looked at the two of us in a mix of confusion and amusement, but she still didn't step into the apartment.

"Ah Goddess," Shiala said between breaths. "If only..."

She stood up and pretended to dust her armor, as if it could have been wrinkled by us sitting there. Shepard finally walked in, and caught sight of the pile of new weapons on our rack. She was carrying her own load in her guns case, and started putting them in their place.

"I'm Shiala," the asari said, offering her hand.

"Aliana Shepard," Shepard replied, racking her shotgun and shaking the offered hand. Then, she smirked mischievously. "First time I see Roy bring a girl home."

"Is that so?"

Oh great.

"Shiala was just here for business," I replied, standing up, and noticing how very underdressed I was. Damn

"You're staying for dinner, aren't you?" Shepard said, ignoring my attempt at dismissing the asari. "I brought ribs!" she added, and lifted a bag full of takeaway from Relay Rob's.

"Sounds lovely, I believe I have never tasted them."

"Oh you're missing out!" Shepard said, putting the bag on the lone table in the room. "What have you been cooking Roy? Smells awesome."

Sigh.

So, Shiala stayed for dinner. Despite my initial misgivings, it turned out not to be too bad, after all. The two of them fell into easy conversation, in between eating the pile of ribs Shepard had brought home. Shepard had a hundred questions about the asari, and it seemed like nothing was off-limits. When they got to making asari babies, I called a truce, and got the apple crumble out of the oven.

All in all, it had not been a bad night.

"Wow," Shepard said, once Shiala left. "She's cute."

"I'd warn you she's trouble, but then again, that might backfire."

Shepard snorted in amusement. "I meant for you! Seriously, you're starting to worry me."

"She's a bit old for me," I said, making Shepard laugh again.

"So, blue babe aside, what happened with the N2?"

Oh, that. I had almost forgotten. I could feel the scowl on my face, and served myself a second helping of apple crumble.

"Washed out," I finally said.

"Really, why did you quit?" Shepard said, doing the exact same thing I did with the crumble, only her portion was even bigger than mine. I wondered how she stayed so thin with everything she ate.

"Because I messed up," I said. "Got into the training exercise, and the three times we tried, we failed because of me."

"So what," Shepard said, speaking while she chewed as if my failure wasn't a big deal. "You get up again and you kick their butts."

I grunted in response, taking a big bite of dessert. After chewing it slowly, I spoke again. "If it was just shooting shit, I would. Seems like I'm just crap at everything else."

Shepard gave me this weird look, like I wasn't even speaking English.

"No, really, why did you quit?"

Sigh.

It was the second time Roy had gone off with these "mysterious orders" that were not orders, and this time he had been gone a whole two weeks. And counting. Damn him, she was starting to get tired of this mysterious side of his. Not this time, as soon as he was back she was going to grill him, and she didn't care how secret those orders were.

She ducked behind the door frame and waited for her shields to recharge. She needed to get herself some upgrades, it was annoying to have to wait so much in between attacks. Sure, it wasn't like those scrubs were dangerous, but-

"Enough!" she heard one of the pirates shout. "Take another step and I'll kill him!"

Shepard grunted in annoyance. She was not in the mood for that shit. She pulled her pistol out, and made a quick mod swap.

"Sheppy, what are you-"

"Gimme your pistol," Shepard said. She grabbed the gun Goldie offered, and one pistol in each hand, she took a deep breath. "And watch my back."

She came out of her cover, arms straight down with her modded pistol on the right, Goldie's on the left. The pirate leader had his arm wrapped around the boy's neck, with his gun pointed at his head. There were about a dozen of them, in various stages of fear and panic.

"Now, you're going to-"

*BLAM*

Shepard's modded gun echoed through the cargo bay like a grenade, the Hi-ex round overheating her pistol and ruining the heatsink in a single shot, but hitting like a rocket, right through the shields and armor of the pirate and making his head disappear in an explosion of gore and ceramic plates. She then lifted her second pistol, and aimed it around, making eye contact with every target.

"Anyone else?" she said.

Nobody stirred.

The pirates had tried to take a cargo ship full of food, of all things. They were as stupid as they were pricks, because once they figured out the cargo wasn't particularly valuable, they had taken a few of the civilians captive, and were planning on ransoming them.

Apparently, it never occurred to them that people who do honest trade with low value product weren't the kind of people to have a vacation home on Bekenstein.

Once they had the pirates secured, they moved the cargo to the cruiser, while a second crew took charge of the pirate's frigate. It was an old turian model, probably bought as it was rotated out of service. Given the low quality of weapons it was carrying, it had been bought without any.

"Mindoir!" Chief Harrods shouted.

"Sir!"

Her whole unit stood to attention as the Operations Chief walked in. He paused for a moment to look around, his eyes fixating on the exploded head remains still clinging to the back wall of the cargo bay, and turned to give Shepard a glare.

"Quite a stunt, there."

"Thank you, sir," Shepard replied. When unsure, she decided she was always going to take things as compliments.

Next to her, Goldie sniggered, even when the Chief fixed her with a stare.

"You've got new orders, go pack your shit."

"Huh?"

She took the disk the Chief was offering, and fed it to her omni-tool. Goldie and Castor quickly came to peer over her shoulder. Huh. It was the shortest orders she had ever seen. Report to Glain station, shuttle to leave as early as possible.

And it came with the seal of the Office to Citadel Affairs.

She felt as if her insides had turned into ice.

"What the hell?" Castor said.

"I have to go," Shepard said, her voice mechanical. "Right now."

"Wha- Sheppy!" Goldie called.

Shepard turned only to toss her pistol back at the blonde woman, and kept going, heading straight for her locker. No time to get changed. No time for anything. She just picked up her uniform, threw it inside the armor case, and took a moment to dig in the fake double bottom to pick up Roy's letter.

She should have burned it long ago, but she still had it. And now, she was taking it with her. She just hoped she didn't need it.

What the hell have you gotten yourself into this time?

The trip out was far too slow for Shepard's liking. She didn't know how Roy did it, but she had seen him sitting patiently for hours while waiting for all kinds of bad news. She, on the other hand, had been so fidgety that the pilot of the shuttle had threatened to throw her off the airlock. Twice.

She spent ten minutes on Glain station before being shuttled off again. This time, the shuttle was of asari design, and it was too small for her to pace. The pilot had given her nothing to go on: she didn't have a clue what was going on, all she had gotten were orders to ferry a Systems Alliance marine from the station to some small colony in the traverse. And "colony" was a very generous adjective. All she could see on their approach was what looked like a smuggler's base, carved inside the side of a cliff. It probably meant the planet wasn't particularly hospitable, despite having a noticeable atmosphere and an acceptable temperature.

When the ship landed inside the hangar, Shepard bolted out to find a familiar face waiting for her.

"Shiala!" Shepard said.

"Shepard, I'm-"

"Where is he?" she said.

"Calm down, he-"

"Where. Is. He."

Shiala didn't miss the fact that Shepard's hand had stolen towards her pistol, and her voice had dropped half an octave. She raised her hands in a mollifying gesture.

"He's in the clinic. In a coma."

Shepard was about to walk away when the last words stopped her, almost making her stumble mid-step. She looked at Shiala in surprise, and the asari just nodded and gestured for her to follow. The facility was, in fact, an old smuggler's hideout, and the structure would have made it obvious. Power supply deep in the mountain to mask emissions, easy to isolate sections in case they had to run away, and over a dozen different secret hidey holes - Shiala was sure they still hadn't found all of them. It was mostly asari there, and not many of them.

They went down two levels and came to the medbay. About a dozen doors, the first one opened to reveal Roy, laying on a bed, eyes closed and with a translucent mask over his mouth and nose.

Shiala stayed by the entrance, and she heard Shepard gasp when she walked in. For a long moment she didn't move, just watched the man with her hands covering her mouth. Slowly, she walked to his side, and grabbed his hand.

"Roy. Roy, it's me..." she said, her voice low.

It wouldn't do any good, and Shiala knew it. Nonetheless, she waited, until Shepard collected herself and stood up straight again. She turned back to look at Shiala.

"What happened?" she said.

"We... we were on a mission to recover an important target." She stopped and took a deep breath. How could she explain it? Maybe... "I could show you. It'd be easier."

Shiala offered her hand, and Shepard looked at her for a few seconds. She finally nodded, and the two of them went to sit side to side on two of the available chairs. Shepard took Shiala's hand, and the asari put her other hand on the redhead's neck.

"I'm sorry this will be your first time," Shiala said. "Please relax, and remember, these are only my memories."

Shepard nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Embrace Eternity."

Shepard's breath caught in her throat as the meld brought her mind in contact with Shiala's. She felt a dozen threads of thoughts wanting to come to the forefront, more vivid than she ever wanted to remember them.

Relax. It's okay, you're safe.

Slowly, the reassuring feeling of serenity radiating from Shiala calmed her down.

This is weird.

She felt Shiala's amusement. Roy had said the same before. As soon as she felt in control, Shiala gently coaxed her towards her memories. The scenes from Roy's op.

They were in a ship. A strange, strange ship. It was...

Rachni?

Yes, from before the end of the rachni war. Old, very old.

Shepard knew she should have felt more excited, more worried, but all she could feel was collected calm. Shiala's feelings during the op. A self-assurance borne out of centuries of experience. Reliving someone else's experiences like that felt weird. It felt wrong.

It's fine, I am freely sharing with you.

There was a reason for that, and Shiala explained it with a thought. She had experience with the ops, and with the meld. The deeper meld would allow Shepard to experience it without the heightened reactions from someone's first time, but she didn't go too deep, as the feeling of losing one's self in another could be very disorienting for a first timer. Funny enough, a stray thought from Shiala was that Roy wouldn't be happy she was sharing all this with Shepard, but the latter just made a mental snort. She wasn't a kid.

"Where now?" Roy said. He was clad on a dark hardsuit, the Spectre logo prominently displayed on the shoulder. There were no Spectres in the op, it was set of gear she was keeping for him.

"We think behind the main chamber," Shiala replied. They had information from the war, but it was old, and nobody still alive had lived through it. "That should be the breeding chamber for the ship."

"Should?"

"It's not like they have signs," Shiala said, getting an amused chuckle from Roy.

They made their way back slowly, checking every corner. Intellectually, they knew the ship had to be empty after millennia in deep space, but it was eerie inside. Roy had taken the lead without even asking any questions, and he didn't seem too worried. Tense, same as everyone, but not twitchy or nervous.

Are you... staring at his ass?

What can I say, Shepard. Look at it.

That's not... I wasn't...

Shepard felt a fluster come to her, a reflection of Shiala's own thoughts towards Roy. It was amusing, for Shiala at least. Shepard couldn't say she hadn't felt something, but in her case it was so much more confusing. However, Shiala didn't press the issue or tease her about it. The memory brought them back inside the rachni ship, and the back chamber of the main deck level.

"Bingo," Roy said.

In front of them laid an egg chamber. It was about ten meters wide, and twenty long. Hundreds of broken, dried-up shells laid all over it, their contents long gone and rotten despite the thin atmosphere. What caught everyone's attention was the mound in the centre. Much more protected than the rest, the outline of a perfectly intact egg could me made through the translucent canopy. It had to be fifteen inches wide at least.

"Do you think it is..." Shiala trailed off, but Shepard heard the rest of the thought. The egg of the rachni queen.

"Probably." He looked back, and Shepard saw the determined look on his face through the helmet's faceplate. "Nobody shoots a single bullet."

"But..." Shiala protested.

"No buts. She's not hostile."

"So you say," Shiala muttered.

Not hostile? But I thought-

Watch.

Roy approached the nest, and ran his omni-tool over it. Shiala had her own omni-tool linked to Roy's, so she followed the result of the scans. Life signs detected. Weak, but there. Some sort of biotic stasis, amazing enough to have lasted almost two millennia.

He put a hand on the webbing, and it stuck to his glove. He shook it lightly, but in doing so, he tore the canopy. A light hiss was heard as atmosphere escaped the pod.

"Roy," Shiala muttered.

He had stopped the instant the hiss was heard, Not struggling or anything. He looked back again, and Shepard had to laugh at what she saw. It was the funniest whoops expression he had ever seen on his face. With a shake of her head, Shiala approached, already thinking of how to free Roy from-

The egg opened.

It happened so quickly, nobody had a chance to react. Roy was the first one, he turned to Shiala, and as he spoke, no words came out of his mouth. No words they could hear. Her mind filled with a noise like an orchestra blowing up, no melody to the collection of notes, drowning every thought in her mind. She only saw Roy's face. He wasn't scared, not even as the rachni jumped at his head. Shepard saw his mouth move, then his eyes rolled back in his head, and he fell, the bug having clawed through the webbing and attached to his head.

Shepard tried to scream, to move, to jump at him and help him. She couldn't do anything. Panic started to fill her as she desperately tried to break free, do something.

Shepard, stop!

She wasn't listening. She couldn't. The next instant, the memory had been yanked away, replaced by a simple view of a beach, an empty expanse of golden sand and crystal water. It was warm, and the smell of the shore coming from the breaking waves was intoxicating.

The feeling of serenity quickly washed away the panic Shepard was feeling.

What... What's this?

One of my favourite places in the galaxy. Are you okay?

Y-Yes. Yes. What the hell happened? That bug attacked him, and you didn't do anything!

Didn't you see it?

What?

Shiala offered the memory again, the rachni jumping at Roy. Reluctantly, Shepard followed the thread, and the same thing played again. Shiala brought her attention to Roy's face. Past the noise in their heads. Past the fear. Roy was mouthing something.

Don't shoot.

What?

Yes.

When the meld ended, Shepard had to take a moment to get her bearings back. She was confused, like she didn't really know who she was at first. Slowly, her sense of self returned, and so did her balance. Shiala was waiting patiently for her, a tiny smile on her face.

"What... What's wrong with Roy? What did that thing do to him?"

"We don't know," Shiala said, her smile disappearing. "After a few seconds we finally advanced on her, weapons raised, and she scuttled back to her nest. And that's how Roy was. He's been out for a week." She pointed at one of the monitors, where his brain activity was being logged. "There's barely any brain activity. And he's not getting better."

Shepard looked at him and nodded absently. "Dammit Roy, why?" she muttered.

"We'll keep taking care of him, but the doctors aren't too hopeful. We have tried some shallow melds, trying to stimulate brain activity, but we got nothing."

Shepard leaned forward, putting her elbows over her legs and wringing her hands together.

"There's something I'd like to do, but I need your permission."

"What?" Shepard said, turning to look at her in surprise.

"He... He has some information, some important information. I would like your permission to do a deeper meld. Try to recover some of his memories. I can't really get his permission, so..."

"No!" Shepard snapped immediately.

"But-"

"No way!"

Shiala looked at Shepard, shocked by the immediate and strong reaction. Shepard just stood up, and started pacing, glancing on every turn at Roy. Damn, there was no way. Her thoughts had turned to the letter Roy had written to her. It had to have the information Shiala wanted. But if he hadn't shared it with her, then she was not letting the asari just go romping through whatever was left of his mind.

She stopped at that. Was it that she just didn't want the asari to go through Roy's mind like that? There was something possessive about that thought. Like she was not letting her get to Roy's head. She didn't know what was in there. And she didn't just mean the dangerous information, she meant everything else. Roy barely talked about himself, and what she had learned wasn't good. He hadn't had a good childhood. He didn't seem to enjoy much of anything. And he didn't like to talk about it; hell, he seemed like he didn't even like thinking about it. And now that she thought about it, the idea that the asari would get there before she did annoyed her.

That wasn't what was supposed to happen. Not like that. She wouldn't just let anyone see what he didn't want to share.

"Shepard..." Shiala said, leaving the phrase hanging.

"Sorry. If he wanted you to have that information, he'd have given it to you."

"Is that the real reason?"

Shepard furrowed her brow as she looked at the asari. "Yes," she deadpanned.

Shiala shook her head and raised her hands in defeat. "Very well. We'll keep him under observation, but..."

She didn't finish the phrase. She didn't need to. But? But there was little they could do. The pain in Shiala's voice was as noticeable as the one Shepard felt. Damn him. No damn that bug, what had it... what had she done? Shiala had said it was a queen, and referred to it as she.

"What happened to the bug?" Shepard said.

"We have the queen under observation, deep in this facility. She's not going anywhere."

"I want to see her."

Shiala raised one of her painted-on eyebrows, the gesture strange on her asari face. "You know, Roy didn't want you mixed in all this. I've only brought you because... well, because." She gestured at Roy. "He wouldn't... He won't be happy if-"

"Well too bad," Shepard retorted.

With a sigh, Shiala got up to her feet.

"Follow me," she said.

Shepard saw her hesitate when looking at Roy, as if she had wanted to go to him, but instead she headed for the door. Shepard herself did go to him, taking a loser look. He looked so helpless there. It was painful to see. She passed her hand over his buzzcut head, but there was no response. Not even a reflex twitch. Nothing. The monitor kept showing minimal signs of brain activity.

"Come on Roy, get out here. I need you," she said.

No response again. With a shake of her head, she turned around and walked off the room, following Shiala. They headed for the back of the facility, where the lift was. Once inside, Shiala hit the second to bottom level, and they started the slow trip down. No music, just layer after layer of rock in between mostly darkened halls passing in silence.

When they reached their destination, the door opened to a better illuminated corridor. There was a guard outpost, a windowed room on the left, with a bored-looking asari sitting in front of the security terminals, and a second one at the back of the room working on cleaning an assault rifle.

"Boss?" the bored one said.

"Just showing her the prisoner," Shiala replied.

The security guard looked like she was about to say something, then had an attack of second thoughts and closed her mouth. Shepard wondered what had gone through her head, but it didn't matter. Shiala led her along the corridor, with lock-up room after lock-up room passing. Empty. All empty.

Except for the last one. There wasn't a biotic field there, there was just a solid metallic door, with a thick metallic mesh covering the eye-level opening. The queen was curled up in a corner, atop a pile of some straw-like material arranged as a makeshift nest. It had to be about a meter long, at least. Biggest bug she had ever seen.

"She doesn't do much, other than coming out to eat when we pass on food. We're still trying to figure out what to feed her. She's molted twice in a week, at this rate she'll be big enough that she won't fit the door in less than two months."

Shepard leaned closer, trying to see the bug's face. And as she did, the queen twitched, her multiple eyes falling on her. She felt the eye contact. The recognition. A chorus of music rose in her head, like a hundred xylophones calling. And a voice. A real voice.

"Shepard. Ali," The thoughts echoed, the sound strange as it tried to verbalize her name. "I am Singer-of-Dawn. We know your colours, your song. Your brood-warrior needs your melody."

"What the hell?" Shepard shouted.

"Shepard, this is not a good plan of action," Shiala said.

"I'm telling you, the queen knows me. She called me..." She called me Ali, just like my brother and Roy did. "She just did, okay?"

They were in front of the cell, with Roy's hospital bed behind them. The equipment was still hooked up, the heart monitor beeping slowly, and the brain activity stuck at the minimum. Really, not the best place to be having that conversation about second thoughts.

"And now you want me to let you both in there with the queen, after what she did to Roy? He'd kill me if I let you."

Shepard looked at Roy, then at Shiala. "It's my call."

Shiala looked at her for a long while, at her and at Roy. She could almost hear the gears turning in her head, weighting her options out. Yeah, so Roy had wanted her out of this mess, however this mess had come to be. And now she was here, and she knew what she had heard from the queen.

Maybe it was a trick, but damn if she wasn't going to try.

After an eternity, Shiala nodded, and pulled her pistol out. "Fine, but I'm going in first."

"You don't have to-"

"I do."

With that, Shiala unlocked the door, and gave the guards a glance. Six commandos in full gear were waiting at the end of the corridor, away from the queen's song. Or as far as they could get, at least. Guns at the ready. She walked into the cell first, gun raised and pointed at the queen. The rachni twitched slightly, following her movements with those eerie, unblinking eyes, and then turned when Shepard walked in.

"Hello," Shepard said.

The reply wasn't as much words as it was a feeling. It felt green, a soft, welcoming melody. Shiala felt it too, but her gun didn't waver, staying pointed at the queen. Then, an anxious note, the green turning slightly sour. The queen's eyes turned to the door. Waiting.

This has been a very weird day.

So, Shepard leaned out, and rolled the bed in, careful not to upset the equipment. The queen perked up, but recoiled instantly when Shiala took a menacing step towards her.

"Shiala, please."

"Dammit," Shiala muttered. One didn't have to be a mind reader to see that she didn't like it, but after a few seconds, she lowered her gun and took several steps back, until she bumped onto the wall. She still kept the gun in her hand, however.

The queen moved out slowly, crawling on the ground until she came up to the bed. She climbed up to the mattress, and ended up perched next to Roy's head.

"Okay, what now?" Shepard said.

"Our melody," the queen sang, and the sound in her head was so strong it made her wince. "Our song, it drives your brood-warrior away. He hides, his song drowned in a closed nest. I cannot call for him, your melody must reach him."

"How?"

"I will paint the colours of your melody."

Shepard felt her thoughts being dragged away, almost like the mind-meld with Shiala before. It was strange, like falling through a cascade of musical colours, torrents of melody so loud she felt like her head was going to split.

Then, emptiness. The space had been reduced to silence. Almost. She could barely feel the distant melody of the queen, muted, far away.

"Hello?" she called, and the echo of her voice sounded like a thousand bells. She covered her ears, but it didn't stop the sound.

Damn.

After a few minutes, she noticed that the darkness wasn't completely empty. There were tattered remains of all sorts of things, floating around like space itself had been ruptured. There was a piece of a rug, a shoe, all sorts of items. As she walked, she came across a small ball of light, and the sound of laughter filled the space when she touched it. Then there were others. Dark spheres, sounds of cries, yells of anger from voices she didn't recognize. She saw a small toy house, her breath catching when she recognized her own homestead. Mindoir. As he walked, the sound of the queen's melody became louder.

She knew she was going the wrong way. She had to go back. Back. Deeper. Earlier, earlier in Roy's memories. She turned around, and started walking in the opposite direction, the sound becoming faint being her only guide. It was like she was walking through the shattered remains of his memories. His psyche. She had not wanted anyone to see what he hadn't wanted to share, but now it was clear there was little to share. Small images, fragments, sounds. Feelings. She walked over a square patch of light, which looked like a window. A window looking down a street, old and ruined. It had to be at least ten stories high. And when she saw the ground, she had this overwhelming feeling, like she was imagining the street approaching faster and faster, if only she'd let go. Her heart pounced hard, beating as fear gripped her. She was tempted. So tempted.

A note from the queen broke through the darkness, letting her recover her own self. That wasn't her own feeling. It was Roy's. When had he felt like that? Why?

She didn't continue her thoughts because she caught the sound of a yell, coming through the echo of the queen's note. She sped up, running through the memoryscape without looking around anymore. Those fragments, small as they were, were not hers to unravel. As she ran, she came upon the only coherent thing she had seen so far, only it didn't make any sense.

A wall. A huge, impenetrable wall. There was a single wooden door, so flimsy looking that she thought a stiff breeze would be enough to take it down. And in front of it two people. Teenagers, a boy and a girl. They were yelling incoherently, kicking and clawing at the door. Strangely, the flimsy door remained shut.

She heard the scream again. A guttural, primal scream of fear. The voice was young, coming from the other side of the door.

"Enough!" Shepard yelled, her voice echoing like thunder.

The two teenagers turned to look at her, and her breath caught in her throat. Those weren't human faces. Multiple compound eyes looked at her, thick mandibles flexing in an ugly chewing motion. They screeched in a way no human voice could, and rushed at her.

"Leave me alone!" the young voice yelled.

She recognized the voice. Young as it was, it could only be Roy's. She reacted by instinct, dodging out of the bug-people's way, and responding by tripping one while giving the other a shove.

It was like trying to push through air. The bugs materialized again, and rushed past her towards the door once more. More screams from the other side.

Like hell.

Shepard didn't know if she was right, but it felt like one of Roy's old memories had been mixed up with the queen's melody when the rachni had woken up. The fact that were bug-people there didn't bother her. No. It was what she was seeing, two teenagers trying to rip a door and get to a kid hiding behind it. If that was a real memory of Roy, those two could only be his siblings.

And that pissed her off.

When she grabbed the boy by the arm, her hand found a solid hold this time. When she pulled him back and threw him over her shoulder, he went flying several meters and was lost in the dark mist of broken memories. And when the girl turned to do a screeching charge at her, she found her counter connecting solidly on her bug face, and the subsequent kick sending her into the far away void.

That felt good in a way it had no business feeling.

She walked to the door, and knelt down in front of it, whispering at the crack along the edge.

"Roy? It's me."

"Go away!" the young voice yelled.

Bug screeches followed immediately. Shepard shot to her feet, and turned around, her boot hitting the ground with enough force that the echo boomed like a high caliber gun. The sounds stopped immediately, and she could see traces of the outlines of the two bug-siblings in the distant darkness.

"You're not getting through me," she said, her presence strong enough to drive the edge of the darkness further away.

She heard the door open behind her, a small crack with an eye peering through it. As soon as she turned, the door slammed shut.

"Roy, it's me. It's Shepard. Aliana Shepard, remember me?"

"... you're not real."

"What? Of course I'm real, I'm right here."

"You're not real," the young voice insisted. "I invented you. You're not real."

Shepard was about to protest again, but stopped. If what was around her was Roy's mind, he probably was more than a bit mixed up. Maybe he really believed he had invented her. Then again...

"Okay, but I'm here now." No response. "If you invented me, you must know what kind of person I am. Would I hurt you?"

She had to wait several seconds for the response. "No. You helped people. You help everyone."

"So that means I'm here to help, right? Will you let me in?"

"I can't. I have to keep it safe."

"You have to keep what safe?"

"The treasure. If the monsters get it, then everyone will die. I can't let anyone get to the treasure. It's my job, nobody else can keep it safe."

"Okay..." She stopped to think for several seconds. Whatever that treasure was... No, she was curious, but there were more important things to worry about. "What about coming out? Leave the treasure inside and come out with me, I'll keep the monsters away."

"... really?"

"I promise."

Slowly, hesitantly, the door finally open, and out walked Roy. Shepard felt a big smile coming to her face. He was young, maybe eight years old, and so damn cute. And small. He must have been a late bloomer. He closed the door behind him and looked up at her with big, expectant eyes. He looked scared. With her best reassuring smile, Shepard offered her hand, and when the boy took it, she turned and led him outside. Towards the end, and the queen's song. After only two steps he stopped, squirming to free himself.

"It's okay," Shepard said, her voice stopping his struggle. "It's fine. The queen won't hurt you, she wants to help. Trust me."

The boy looked up at her, at the light in the distance, and then, with a sudden pull, freed himself from Shepard and ran straight towards it.

Atta boy.

Light flooded the memoryscape, fragments crashing together and becoming full memories, and then, Shepard was suddenly herself again, standing in the queen's nest. Roy was still on his bed, and the queen was still singing to him.

She would do so for several hours.

Author's Notes: I told you this would be a weird chapter. Very weird. So, the rachni make their appearance, and Shepard now knows some of the stuff Roy's been up to! It's going to be a very strange conversation if(when?) Roy wakes up. Roy has been trying to keep Shepard away from all the stuff he has been doing, which is working as well as you may expect. For one thing, he's already heard from Shiala and from Benezia that it's not a good idea, but here we are. Let's see what he comes up with. And oh yeah, N-school. That's going to bite him in the ass with Kim, and everyone else. How dare he quit?!

There was lots of feedback on the previous chapter, thanks a lot! This chapter was all about Sheppy and Roy, but next time, expect a lot more of the asari's backstage machinations. There's a lot of threads I'm trying to keep open at the moment.

Zeru'Xil: Ah, the krogan. Maybe not next chapter, but Soon™. I'll take my payment in firstborns or cotton candy, your choice ;)

Legendary Junk Mail: Thanks! Yeah, the Shadow Broker is probably the most important character development moment for Liara, probable even above the death of her indoctrinated mother. I hope I can give her good "lines" too, she's still important.

RadioPoisoning: Eh, hehehe, that's actually touching one of my favourite subjects. There's essentially two camps on this, that alien life is either completely and utterly different from Earth life, or that it'll be very similar because there's a narrow range of "biological solutions", so to speak, for life to exist. Protein is indeed the biggest one right off the bat (even if we assumend DNA and proteins existed on both species, the side chains of aminoacids can easily present the highest amount of divergence; looking at the common aminoacids, there's tons of simpler structures that could be possible and would fit with organic chemistry but were simply not selected for during early evolution). One thing that all species could probably eat is purified simple carbohydrates. Anyway, ME is very soft Sci-Fi, cross-species food eating is canon AFAIK as long as protein chirality is respected.

Serenarey Chiba: Thanks! Poor Tevos, so misunderstood.

general-joseph-dickson: As long as nobody finds out, huh? Yeah.

BJ Hanssen: Its so him, isn't it? :D

eurodox59: Heh, don't forget about Sheppy tho! And Roy's ability to screw things up.

Mizuki00: Thanks! It's a lot like Pandora's Box, only more tempting.

Guest: The orders for Roy/Shep to do their little side projects come from high up in the chain of command. Office for Citadel Affairs is a civilian outfit, they send their requests to the Systems Alliance on behalf of the Council (typically, it means Spectre business). So, it may raise some flags, but since it's Spectres, nothing much in terms of questions comes. Of course, in this case it's Benezia getting Tevos to send those in her behalf.

Pretend Fiction: Thanks for the support! And the fanart :)

Skepsis Forever: I see your point. This is fast becoming Benezia's show, really, with her doing the machinations behind the scenes. I know that the council being indoctrinated is a popular theory, mostly due to how incompetent they showed themselves during the three games (I blame writer fixation with introducing plot twists, with the geth, the krogan, and whatnot). At the end of the day, getting them to play ball is quite necessary. Regarding the Alliance, I wonder if they'd have been so eager to throw everything at the reapers if they had entered through Citadel space and hit other systems first, instead of Earth. As far as living to regret it... You know me too well, when have I recoiled from having decisions backfire? :D Anyway, thanks for the thoughts and feedback, plenty of food for thought.

Sci-Fifan95: Thanks! Yeah, the Alliance and the Council, I plan on having stuff coming very, very soon.

Almost A Shadow: Welcome to the wonderful world of fanfiction! I'm very glad you're enjoying my work, and more importantly, that you're enjoying your first toe-dip into the pool of fanfic. There's all sorts of awesome stuff here, from alternative universes (AU) to side stories from minor characters, retellings of canonical events with new and revreshing points of views, and one of my favourite kind, crossover from different fandoms. Make some free time, it's a wild ride! :)

Serenarey Chiba, tapionwarrior, Toothless is best, bdrivermp, BrotherCaptainSheperd, Bolondka, themann1086, OnkelJo, really, thank thee kindly for your words. Hearing from the readers is something I really look forward to every time I post a chapter, and you guys and gals delivered!

Next time, a very disjointed chapter as we see what Benezia has been up to while we were distracted. It's sounding awesome in my head, I just hope it'll translate into paper. Until then, thanks for reading! Ta-ta!