For Better or Worse

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the franchise.

After days of sailing the sea, the passengers could finally get a glimpse of the island coming into view. What was once the daunting location where Marleyan soldiers would turn Eldians into mindless titans was now a thriving port used for all sorts of imports and exports.

On the edge of the ship, a beautiful young woman with long light-brown hair tied in a ponytail and green eyes that stood out like shining emeralds looked toward the harbor with a toothy grin. "We're almost there!" she cheered ecstatically. Ever since receiving the news that she would be visiting Eldia, her thoughts, and dreams have been completely taken over by the many stories she's heard throughout the years. Never would she have considered the possibility of one day visiting such a historical site. Yet here she was today, moments away from stepping foot on the island. Excitement could barely describe her feelings right now.

"Try not to act too excited," came a calm voice from behind.

The young woman turned around and lowered her head before apologizing. "I'm sorry honey… I know you don't approve of my feelings for this place but," she turned back around and smiled at the sight of the island. "It just feels so incredible seeing Eldia in person."

Taking off his hat, Jean Kirstein rested his arms on the rail next to her fiancée. A sense of heaviness engulfed his chest while these next couple of minutes felt longer than the past few days they had been traveling. So many memories began to flood his thoughts. Horrible memories that he desperately wanted to overcome. Marco… Sasha… Hange… Eren. How I wish you were still here… Despite his attempts to remain strong, tears slowly began to form in his eyes. The images of his fallen friends were too much for him to handle. Fortunately, he was snapped out of his reminiscence when the young woman wrapped her arm around his and squealed.

"Perhaps you already answered this before but do you believe that the story is true about this being the location where Mr. Yaegar received his titan from the owl?"

"It's very likely he did," responded the former Peace Ambassador flatly.

"Just think, If Mr. Yaegar had not committed treason against Marley then he would have never been brought here. If he was never here, then Eren wouldn't have been born. If Eren didn't exist then there would still be titans. How would things play out in that scenario…?"

"I don't know…"

"Do you think it's possible that the Marleyans would have successfully captured the 'Founder.?'"

"Again. I don't know…"

"I can't wait to meet your mother!" she beamed while bouncing from foot to foot in her excitement. "I bet she will have all sorts of stories from her experiences."

Jean slowly shook his head after letting out a deep breath. He had no desire to reprimand her again; instead, he just tuned her out as she continued to talk and talk.

Once the ship entered the dock, the gangway opened allowing its passengers to come out. The former Eldian soldier grabbed their suitcases and led his future wife to the port. For a moment, he thought of the possible complication they could have in finding his mother within the entire crowd. That was before the two of them heard that all-too-familiar voice within the multitude.

"Jean-boy!"

There was once a time when he would openly despise that nickname. Especially if was said in front of others; but, growing up in a cruel world taught him an important lesson. To always cherish the people that mean the most to him. There could be a day when he will be begging to hear that name once more. Eren's words would forever ring in his head. "You should be nicer to your mom, Jean-boy." It didn't take long for the two to locate the woman. She was dressed in traditional clothing which consisted of a similar dress that she had on all those years ago when visiting the Survey Corpse. "Mom…" he voiced before embracing the older woman. "I can't tell you how happy I am to finally see you again."

Pulling away, the elder wiped a few tears as she turned to the beautiful woman standing next to her son. "And you must be Nia… You're a lot different than what I expected."

"Mom…?!" whispered Jean.

"Oh relax, Jean-boy," giggled Ms. Kirstein. "I didn't mean it in a bad way." She turned back to Nia and grabbed her by the hands. "What I meant is that my son has barely written about you, I was left to picture the woman that had grabbed my son's attention."

"Yes, Jean can be quite reserved," responded Nia as she smiled warmly. "But I guarantee that we'll be best friends before we leave."

"I agree, now c'mon," she hooked her arm around her future daughter-in-law and began guiding her away from the crowd. "There are several things I have planned out for us and our carriage is waiting to take us to the hotel."

"Could we by any chance pass through one of the statues dedicated to Eren…? I have so many questions that I was hoping you could answer."

"Like what?"

"Have you ever seen a titan personally? What was the ambient throughout the war? Were you lucky enough to meet Eren?"

Jean rolled his eyes as he trailed behind the two ladies. He could already tell this was going to be a long few days.

The innkeeper opened the door of one of the rooms before stepping aside to allow his three guests to enter. "Here it is. I hope the three of you will find your stay here to be quite pleasant."

While Ms. Kirstein and her son calmly entered, Nia; on the other hand, excitedly whirled into the room. "I can't believe I'm here in Shiganshina. The Shiganshina!" Running towards the window, she turned in every direction to soak in the aspects of this historical location. "You can still see fragments of the wall that was taken down! I wonder which area was the exact spot where the Colossal Titan appeared.

"Nia!" voiced Jean abruptly in a much harsher tone than he would have preferred to use.

The younger woman slightly jumped before turning around to face her future husband. Seeing the expression on his face, made her realize the mistake she had made. For the second time in just over an hour, she found herself apologizing.

He let out a long sigh while pinching the bridge of his nose. He turned to the innkeeper who had a mostly baffled expression, "Thank you for the room. I will let you know if there is anything else we need."

"Of course… enjoy your stay." He exited the room leaving the three of them alone.

Once he closed the door, Jean instantly turned to his fiancée who still had a look of regret. "Honey… forgive me for my outburst. I know you have a different perspective on this place but you need to control your emotions better. There isn't one person on this island that lived through that war without losing someone."

"I understand…" responded the young woman. "It's just that I dreamed so much of coming here. Did none of you feel anything when we passed all those statues that commemorated the Survey Corpse?" She returned her gaze to the window and faced the direction of a particular statue she enjoyed. "I especially loved the attack titan statue."

"Just be more careful, please. Some people may not take your excitement too kindly."

Before Nia could respond to his request, the two were interrupted by the older woman. "Oh Jean-boy, is this how I taught you to act…? Don't be too harsh. She's still young and has much to learn. Besides, it's late and I'm sure we all could use some rest." She turned to the young woman and grinned. "I was thinking that tomorrow we could do some exploring while my Jean-boy is away at his meeting. What do you think?"

The young woman immediately matched her grin and squealed in excitement. "Absolutely! There are so many places I would like to visit. Shiganshina is a goldmine of history."

In all honesty, Jean was quite satisfied with how well this meeting between his mother and soon-to-be wife had turned out. He was quite sure that something would have gone wrong between them. But it appears that they're making good progress in building a healthy relationship. He placed his suitcase on one of the beds and opened it in search of something more comfortable. "I'm going to take a shower and get ready for bed. I got a long day tomorrow."

"Try not to take too long, honey. I'm sure your mother and I would like to shower with hot water as well," commented Nia before returning to her conversation with Ms. Kirstein. "Could it be true that this is also the site where Armin gained the Colossal Titan from the Marleyan Soldier, Bertholdt?"

The rays of the sun softly began to filter through the apartment curtains. Being the first of the three to wake up, Jean got up from the bed. He changed into his uniform as quietly as possible to avoid waking his fiancée and mother. Realizing there was still some time before his meeting with the officials, he decided to take a short walk through the city. If his memory served him correctly, Nia was just like his mother. Both were heavy sleepers. Knowing them, they wouldn't be up for another couple of hours. Being relatively early, the town was quite busy. Just a couple of blocks away was what appeared to be a market crowded with people. This should be interesting.

"APPLES!" yelled out a merchant at the top of his lungs. "GET YOUR FRESH APPLES! THE FRESHEST IN ALL OF ELDIA!"

"LOOKING FOR THE BEST QUILTS?! LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THESE!" voiced an older woman as she pointed at the several blankets on her table. "DON'T BE SHY. COME MAKE AN OFFER"

"GET YOUR POTATOES!" announced another man. "POTATOES, POTATOES!" Jean's ears perked up as he walked towards the stand. "WE HAVE ALL KINDS. RED POTATOES, YELLOW POTATOES, BROWN POTATOES, WHITE."

Jean walked closer to the stand and for a moment, he just stared at the vegetables. His lips pressed together in a slight grimace. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had this starch. Sasha… A subtle smile rose on his lips as he remembered the 'Potato Girl' with affection. How she would have enjoyed this new world.

"Like something…?" asked the merchant bringing him out from his trance. "There are many ways to cook this starch. I assure you, you won't be disappointed by its taste."

Jean remained silent for a moment. It wasn't that he was ignoring the merchant; it was just that he didn't want to be pulled out of his memories of Sasha. A sigh escaped his lips as he felt a scratchiness coming from his throat. He turned to the merchant and politely declined.

"Are you sure? I assure you a fair price."

"Again, no thank you. Perhaps some other time." He continued walking through the market, reminiscing about the food scarcity he and his friends used to endure. Eventually, there came a point where he didn't even bother to look at the stands anymore. He just wanted to remember. Such a cruel world… and yet… why is there a part of me that wishes to go back to those times…? Is the possibility of seeing them again really worth going through that war again? I don't think so… Anyways, I should probably start heading to the meeting…"

No matter how much he thought about it, he will never know what made him turn to his right. At a quick glance, all he could see were people walking in every direction; but, upon a closer look, at the other side of the market, there it was. The slightest glimpse of that unforgettable cloth that was wrapped around a woman's neck. Despite his vision being unable to identify the silhouette, the scarf was unmistakable. Focusing as best as he could, he could just barely make out that it was being worn by someone with a bouquet of flowers and… short black hair! Without hesitation, the young man picked up the pace in the direction he had seen her.

"Hey!" reacted a middle-aged man after being bumped. "Watch where you're going."

"Sorry." He found himself saying that word a few more times until he, unfortunately, collided with an elderly lady carrying a fruit basket. "I'm so sorry." He knelt down and quickly tried to pick up every last fruit.

"It's quite alright," shrugged the lady. She took back the basket but was unable to properly thank him as he had already left.

He finally reached the end of the market but to his disappointment, there was no one wearing a scarf. He turned in every direction but no luck. A hint of frustration appeared as he had to acknowledge that whoever it was that caught his attention was now gone. Thankfully, he noticed a stand that was selling bouquets similar to the one he saw. "Excuse me, sir," he voiced grabbing the merchant's attention. "Would you happen to have seen a young woman with a red scarf around her neck?"

"What's it to you?" countered the man rather harshly. "I'm not one to just give out information."

Not willing to give up so easily, the young man continued his persistence. "Please, I'm not looking to hurt her or anything. I believe that she might be an old friend that I lost contact with several years ago. Just tell me, is her name Mikasa?"

The man stared him down with a look of suspicion. No doubt debating the possible truthfulness of his words. "Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. That's all I'm going to say."

That's all he needed to hear. Jean let out a wide smile before thanking the merchant. He took a deep breath as he made his way out of the market. Mikasa Ackerman. It's been quite a few years since I last saw you, he thought. If he was honest, he hadn't really thought much of her since he decided to move on away from that childish love he had for her. What a coincidence… He comes to Shiganshina for a few days and on the first one he sees her. Was it fate… or just an unfortunate coincidence? No, it can't be unfortunate, they've always been close friends… right? His mind drifted to all those unanswered letters he sent. He had hoped that she would reply to at least one of them, but it never happened. Perhaps he had mistaken their friendship and she only saw him as a fellow soldier and nothing else. To his knowledge, she has responded to letters from Armin and Connie. Wouldn't that be for the best? he questioned. After all, would I have been able to move on and forget her if I had managed to stay in touch…? What would my life have looked like right now? Maybe… just maybe I could have brought down her walls and formed a family like I've always wanted… but that's very unlikely. At that moment, his eyes snapped open and he realized where his thoughts were heading. Shaking his head, he decided to forget about this issue and head to the meeting. He was going to be here for three more days; there was plenty of time to figure something out. More than likely she is still living in the same cottage she grew up in… Would it be a bad idea to check on her? What if… she already has a family?

"There you go again," he scolded himself. "Just forget about it. There isn't a point in turning my brain to mush over it. Besides… wouldn't it be best if she did have a family? That would mean she was able to move past Eren…?" He remembered those puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks that adorned her face the last time he saw her. How I would have loved to put a smile on those lips. And there it was again… He let out a frustrated sigh as he started walking.

The evening had come upon the city. Many Eldians were leaving the streets and heading home for the day. Back at the apartment, Nia continued to pace back and forth, constantly checking the clock. "Where could he be?"

Ms. Kirstein tried her best to calm the young woman down. "He's probably still in the meeting, honey. Didn't he mention its importance?"

"At this time?" she questioned rhetorically. "No, no, something must have happened. Jean has never taken this long in any other meeting."

"Relax, he's a former soldier. We both know that if something happens, he is more than capable of taking care of himself."

"Then why hasn't he appeared yet? He could have at least sent out a messenger to notify us?"

"I'm sure he's fine."

Nia crossed her arms and turned to the window. "Well if he's not back within the next hour, I'll go looking for him myself."

"No, you won't," quickly reacted the elder. "Imagine how furious my son would get if he arrived and you were out in the streets at night?"

"Then he better hurry and get back."

"What am I doing?" questioned Jean as he stood mere inches away from the cottage door. During the entirety of his meeting, he tried his best to talk himself out of coming. That it was a rash and terrible idea. Yet, here he was.

Knowing there was no turning back now, he stepped in front and proceeded to knock. He waited for a minute before knocking again. Then he knocked again, then again, and finally one more time. Convinced that no one was going to answer, he turned around to get a good look at the yard. It appeared completely unkempt. He decided to go around and look through one of the shattered windows. Whatever hopes he had of someone living here were now completely gone. It looked totally abandoned as if no one had lived in there for years. There was very little furniture and parts of the wall were chipping off. No signs of life whatsoever.

Looks like this place has been completely forgotten… He turned back around and sighed. "What was I thinking…? It's getting late and Nia must be worried sick right about now." He leaned the back of his head against the wall and just lost himself in thought. Was I really expecting to find her…? Well, yes actually… But, what would I have said if I did…?

'Hi, Mikasa. How have you been… Just thought I would check on you, that's all… Why yes, it has been years since we last saw each other… I have gotten the perception you didn't want to see me again after not answering my letters… Oh, you would rather me leave? I understand… it was nice seeing you again, bye.'

Perhaps her not being here was a blessing in disguise…? He let out a long groan as he slammed his fist against the wall. "How pathetic." It took a moment for him to calm his emotions but when he did, he remembered the grave that was on top of the hill. "Eren…" He slowly made his way toward the stone that stood next to the tree.

'Here forever rest peacefully, my most beloved, my dear. 854'

The young man placed his hand on the surface of the stone and sighed. "Hey, Eren… It's been a long time hasn't it…?" He took a seat and leaned against the side of the gravestone. "Sorry, I haven't been able to visit you these past couple of years… I guess, I just couldn't find the time… What am I saying… The truth is, I wanted to move on from my past… From my time in the Survey Corpse. To find that future that you wanted for us…

I'm engaged now… Her name is Nia. Very nice girl. She can be a little frustrating at times but I guess I wouldn't have it any other way…" His slight chuckle quickly turned into a frown as he came to a realization. "It… It feels weird… You never even met her and it still feels like I'm competing against you for her… Not a day goes by that she doesn't mention your name… 'Did you know Eren this…' 'Is it true that Eren did this…' 'How did you feel when Eren did this…' You always were luckier than me when it came to women…

Anyway… enough of my life. I'm glad that I came here… Hopefully, this isn't the last time I do. Despite our complicated friendship, you always had my back, remember…? How many times did we go to blows? Do you remember that one time we fought in the barracks…? I'm pretty sure we were at it for at least an hour… Wondering why nobody was stopping us… Until Levi did…" He let out a quick laugh while recalling the fist he received from the commander that made him barf his entire dinner.

"I miss you, man… How I would love to see you again… to thank you for everything you've done for us. To let you know that I would do anything to repay that sacrifice you made… All you would have to do is just let me know…"

"Jean…?"

At that moment, the sound of a feminine voice grabbed the former soldier's attention. He turned to her and gave out a soft gasp. "Mikasa…?"

The young woman studied him for a moment. Her eyes furrowed deeply as if attempting to decipher what he was doing here. In her hands, an elegant bouquet like the ones he saw earlier in the market. "Hi…"

"I… uhh…" he quickly stood up and dusted his pants as he tried to think of something to say. "You're probably wondering why I'm here…" She continued to eye him in a way that made him feel uneasy. Perhaps debating whether or not she should be alarmed by his presence. He wanted to break the tension, but couldn't think of anything to say. Fortunately, a warm smile rose from her lips. A smile that he couldn't remember the last time he saw.

"It's good to see you again…"

At that moment Jean let out a long breath he didn't even realize he was holding. His posture felt relaxed again. "I'm glad to see you as well… How have you been?"

"I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation with Eren… How long have you been here?" she asked, ignoring his question.

Not long to be honest… I just arrived in Shinganshina last night."

I see…" she lowered he gaze to the ground. There was quite an awkward silence between the two.

Jean kept his eyes focused on her. She was wearing a simple button shirt with a long blouse that reached her ankles. The more he studied her appearance, the more bothered he felt. She always had a beautiful skin complexion that would make many women envious. But this person in front of her was way too pale for comfort. Almost unnaturally white. Her arms looked very frail like it could be easily snapped without much resistance. And her face… despite it being turned to the ground, he was still able to make out its gauntness. Much to a point where it appeared almost skeletal. "Mikasa… what happened to you…? He found himself asking.

Without answering his question, she walked towards the grave and placed the flowers in front of the stone. "Hi Eren… I'm sorry I wasn't able to come by earlier… But I was just tired and needed to get some rest first. I have so much I wanted to talk to you about-"

"Hey…" interrupted Jean somewhat hesitantly. He wasn't sure what to think. Is she uninterested in talking to me? I guess that makes sense… she did come here to see Eren. The sun was getting low. Soon, the moon would be the only source of light for them. The former soldier momentarily contemplated whether it would be best to leave her be.

"I'm surprised you're here…" voiced the Ackerman while keeping her focus on the grave.

"Why is that?"

"I was under the belief that you hated Eren…"

Her comment caught him off guard. Is that really what she thought…? "How could you think that…?" he asked almost offendedly. "I always thought of Eren as a close friend. This isn't even the first time I came to visit his grave."

"D-did you…?" she asked. Her forehead wrinkled as she appeared to be in thought. "Hmm, I don't remember…"

"I also… wanted to check up on you. I was hoping we could talk." Her slightly tense reaction didn't go unnoticed by him.

"What is there to talk about?"

"You don't look well…"

"I haven't seen you in years... then you show up out of nowhere and judge my appearance?"

"It's nothing like that…" he countered with a sigh. Despite her ill appearance, he could tell she was still as difficult as before. "It's getting dark… Perhaps I could walk you home…? After you're done of course."

Mikasa turned from the grave to face him. She was completely aware that she should be grateful to see a familiar face after all these years. But just like it was with Armin and Connie when they visited a few months ago, she had lost her desire to even maintain a conversation. "I'm going to be here a while; besides, my home is just down the hill. I doubt we could have much of a conversation."

Jean's eyes widened at the sudden information. "You mean to tell me… you're still living in that cottage?"

"Yes, what's wrong with that?" she asked narrowing her eyes.

"It's just…" he began as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I knocked earlier, and there was no answer… It didn't look like someone was living in there…"

"You should have knocked louder I guess," she responded before deciding to return her focus on Eren. "I don't mean to be rude, but it's been a long day… I was hoping to speak with Eren, alone."

Jean was silent for a moment. Of course, he wanted to protest, but what would be the result of it? It was obvious she didn't want to speak with him anymore and perhaps it was best to let it go for now. He had so many questions that he desperately wanted answers to. But it probably wasn't even the best time anyway. "Alright… I should probably be heading back to the city anyway… It was nice seeing you again…bye…"

No answer. Not even a simple acknowledgment. Mikasa's eyes didn't even turn from the stone slightly. She listened as the sound of footsteps slowly faded away indicating that she was finally alone. All that was left was silence. Just how she preferred it. Just her and Eren. "It must have been quite the surprise for you to see Jean again…" she commented with a weak smile.

Author's Note: And that's it for this chapter. Thanks to all of you for giving it a chance and I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always welcomed and even encouraged. Hope everyone has a great week and till next time.