Authors Note: Ugh, apologies for the huge delay and gap since the last chapter...It's been...It's been a very difficult few months in multiple ways. Writing has been challenging to do recently, as my headspace has not been in a healthy place. Regardless, I do hope you enjoy this chapter, as you'll see some beautiful Severus/Dawn moments, and also Severus Harry. And some advancements in the plot!
If you'd like to see updates or additional story content, I post on Tumblr on sanctuary-angel. I've been creating graphics and posting sneak-peaks, for those who want to see more. xx
"As much as I wanted true love, part of me was afraid I didn't deserve it, but true love isn't about what you deserve, it's about who your soul needs to grow with in order to find itself in another."
– Mark Anthony
CHAPTER 45: Shadowed Reverie
January 20th, 2004
[Severus Snape]
With the situation growing more dire, Dawn had since called for an urgent meeting that Tuesday evening to discuss the peculiar forest problem.
Amidst the new issues that had arrived in the fallout of the London Eye incident, they had agreed to come together and further discuss their options. She had quickly notified Mr. Weasley who was set to arrive at Hogwarts for it, and Harry was eager along with Draco to remain privy to the conversation. After all, Harry, Draco, and Ron Weasley knew exactly what was buried there – delicate secrets known to very few.
Draco had since kept himself away from trouble since his arrival at Hogwarts, not wanting to deal much with the constant issues. A wise decision that Severus had come to respect, which he only wished he had the same leniency. But he had spoken to him on a few occasions, with the young Slytherin avoiding in getting involved for fear of further blackening his name. Understandably so, as he didn't want any ill will to fall upon his family and that of Astoria. His worries of those not of his own made him cautious and wary.
But in the midst of the growing conundrum, he agreed to partake in the discussions, and he knew very well the potential implications of it all. His knowledge of what was buried there, was highly valuable, as much as he wished he did not have to think about again.
Students had since dispersed to their morning lessons in a flurry of chaos and panic, speeding pass Severus and Dawn in their desperate bid to arrive on time. Once the last few students disappeared out of sight and silence finally befell the pair, Dawn turned to Severus and weaved her fingers to bunch within his robes and pulled him gently closer. Her heated breath was warm against his cheek, teasing the rare moment.
Severus' eyes almost widened in a panic – no one knew about them yet and the last thing he needed was a nosey portrait, a lost student, or a wayward ghost to spread the rumour. Her pointed nose nuzzled against the curvature of his, soon planting a soft, sweet kiss upon his lips before pulling away as quickly as it happened. She was teasing the secrecy and there was no mistaking the mischievous smirk spread across her wet lips, suddenly feeling like adolescent children.
The kiss itself left his heart skipping a beat, however longing for one far deeper. But he knew they had to play it safe, never knowing when they'd ever be ready to publicly share their growing affection. The sickening feeling of people ever knowing and potentially ruining its secrecy, was too great of a risk carving an emotional mess within his chest. He was just not ready to take that chance and he wanted to savour the private euphoria as much as he could. She meant too much to him to allow room for such thorns of disaster in their lives.
"Dawn – " Severus whispered warningly, still rendered speechless in his shock.
She returned a smile so sweet, yet so mischievous, that he didn't know how else to respond. Retaining her smile as if it didn't raise an alarm, she tilted her head in her usual coy way he found particularly endearing, "…I'll see you later at the meeting."
Still frozen on the spot, his eyes followed her as she disappeared around the corner. He only wondered how far they'd be able to keep this contained. But time and duty would often pull them apart, unable to spare many moments together as much as they'd hoped for. With Dawn convening far more often with her team given recent events, she'd depart Hogwarts as soon as she had her free lessons. There were some nights when even she did not return home.
But this was their reality. This development between them had come with a price and that was one they'd have to face and one they knew would be a hindrance.
However, their growing fondness for each other clearly never faltered, stealing moments wherever they could within the unfairness of it all.
Severus wandered through the halls, patrolling to ensure wayward students were not found out of class. After an oddly successful and accident-free Potions lesson, he made the lengthy journey to the Room of Requirement, utilising its secret to mask their own. As he passed the Transfiguration classrooms he found Gregory walking with Aurora in the other direction, completely engaged in a conversation in hushed whispers. The Astronomy Professor was far too engrossed in what he was saying, causing Severus to frown. He found it strange that he rarely found him speaking to Dawn anymore, as this was how they used to engage.
To his relief, that was a wise decision, despite never knowing why.
With those thoughts aside for the time being, he finally reached the Room of Requirement to find Dawn had already arrived – the first of the lot.
He didn't ever expect to use the Room after all these years, the last being his attempt at training Harry's defence group – or Dumbledore's Army, much to his distaste. It felt like worlds away now, feeling as those raw, post-war times were not so far away. Pondering back to those young, almost frightened faces as he prepared them yet another fight that was beyond either of them.
…But they made it through. All of them.
The Room itself now appeared to display a set of leather couches of all colours and sizes, stationed in front of the largest fireplace he'd ever seen. The large coffee table in the middle of them were already filled with all sorts of afternoon tea, with sweet and savoury delights and trays of sandwiches and warm quiches. Pots of tea were already boiling away, and the scent of vanilla and honey appeared to reinvigorate his clouded senses.
Dawn already made a beeline to the couch and took one of the blueberry muffins in arms reach. Without thinking, Severus was about to sit beside her when her arms outstretched in a panic, "Severus, no!"
Severus stopped himself cold, deeply confused, "What?"
She motioned for the other couch, "We can't sit together."
"I beg your pardon?"
She began to nibble on her muffin, "Because if you sit next to me, I'm going to want to nestle up against you, and we can't have that here. Not the time, nor place."
"Ah, " Severus drew in a defeated breath, before he arched an eyebrow, "Yet you found it imperative to snog me in the middle of a Hogwarts corridor?"
Dawn bit her lip, and managed a defeated sigh, "I'm sorry…it was foolish of me. I just…wanted another moment with you."
"No, you are right. We really mustn't – " Severus sat on the opposite side, pouring himself a mug of tea he so desperately needed. Anything he could do to distract himself as much as the roaring fire teasingly invited the pair, they needed to remain professionally distant.
Luckily their distance was upheld, because the door burst open to reveal Harry, Ron, and Draco walking in together, chattering seriously as if the meeting had started without them.
" – how many times has the school been threatened to be shut down?" Ron spoke heatedly, before slumping down on the couch next to Dawn.
"Yeah, well, not even Voldemort's attack on Hogwarts couldn't shut it down, " Draco retorted, planting down on the single sofa in between them, whilst Harry took the empty spot next to Severus.
Dawn amusingly raised her eyebrow, "I see you've started the meeting without us."
"No time to waste, if there is a growing power in the bloody forest, " Harry said, looking rather wary with the idea of it. Understandably.
"The other team is working on it. So far luckily, it hasn't grown in diameter recently, but Severus' protective potion is at least enabling them to further inspect the site, " Dawn explained.
"Do they know about what's actually, you know…in it?" Draco questioned.
She shook her head, looking rather unsure of herself, "No, they do not. Because if they discover this object, we will lose far more lives, given its nature as described by the four of you. They can't know what is truly there, and who knows what would happen if they decided to uncover it?"
Severus steepled his fingers together across his lap, "That is for the best, thus far. Until we can figure out a safe solution to remove and somehow dispose of it, then it is best that its nature remains a secret. As long as it remains stable and does not extend to the school, we may have more time."
"Time, right. We know how dire that is, " Harry said, looking eyes with Severus and sharing an equal amount of dread for Severus' previous progressive illness.
"For now, I suggest keeping that thing in the ground, " Draco shifted in his seat, "Because who knows what will happen when we unearth it. There's a good reason why we went through all that trouble just to get rid of it."
"Agreeing with Draco isn't my style, as you know, but he's right, " Ron agreed, ignoring Draco's resentful glare, "It's a ticking bomb, and who knows what would happen if we even touch that thing again."
Dawn nodded, "I also agree."
Severus felt a growing worry within him, and he did his best to mask it in front of the others. Having to deal with that object again brought forth terror-filled memories he did not want to revisit in the time he spent combating it. But its growing power was indeed a concern and could pose a national threat to the magical world if it continued to grow and decimate the grounds. Hogwarts included. Multiple lives could be at risk, with that cursed object in the centre of it all.
Even many years after Voldemort's demise, he was still murdering people and destroying everything it touched. Severus' stomach felt queasy and sickened with dread.
He noticed Dawn glancing his way and her eyebrow slowly crinkling on its inner edge, but he did his best to look away. She never knew the full extent of what that curse did to him, and it was not something that he could easily explain. It was a devastating part of his life, forcing him to confront his dismal life and mortality with the added temptation of wanting to end his life because of it. It was terrible and shameful enough as a thought knowing Dawn had seen his self-harm scars over his Dark Mark, and yet one she never dared to question. But the thought of it all still frightened him, and the idea of history once again repeating itself became a new personal threat.
"How are they containing it?" Harry asked, breaking through his thoughts.
"Magical shields, " Ron answered, "Different kinds because apparently a simple one barely did a thing. They've resorted to reinstating fresh ones on the clock, and rotating Aurors."
Severus sat quietly contemplating what they already knew about it. There were things that did not quite make sense, "It also may be possible that someone else is aware of the object, aside from us."
Dawn tilted her head to his direction; her eyes ablaze with urgency, "What is your theory?"
He placed down his tea, and sighed deeply, "It is a power that appears to be growing faster over time, slowly warping and destroying the minds of others, eventually resulting in their deaths. It's killing. It's controlling. Is it unreasonable to assume that someone may want that power?"
"Possibly, but it seems rather a vague assumption. We don't quite have evidence to support that."
"Well, look how deeply buried in the forest that thing is. No one else would have known it's there, except for their own speculation, " Draco said, "Unless they are here on Hogwarts grounds trying to find it?"
"Then why aren't they attempting to find it?" Harry interjected, "Hagrid said for years these incidences have been going on, and only growing worse overtime. Almost as if they did once we arrived here. Because before then, it was only creature deaths. Now people are losing their lives."
"Because they assume that only I could retrieve it?" Severus spoke firmly, "Perhaps they were waiting for someone who knew how to use it, or simply, how it works. As it stands, it was only discovered because of the visceral reaction I had within its vicinity. Perhaps my old Mark was a strong indicator as, after all, it is no more a secret."
Ron heavily shook his head, "Then that begs the question that whoever this person is, knows that you were cursed with it."
"This is all clearly speculation."
Dawn slumped her shoulders heavily, "But what on earth would they want with it?'
"Maybe they think it's some relic or something. Something that gains someone power, " Draco suggested.
"That's ridiculous."
"Is it?" Harry spoke, "What if they are aiming to harness it?"
The room fell silent, hearing nothing but the crackling fire beside them.
There were far too many questions and not enough answers. Theories spun them in circles and led them back into familiar dead ends. Most of the theories appeared so far out of possibility, and some possibly more.
So, they had a growing power in the forest, decimating the flora, and killing creatures and other magical folk. A power that had been growing far more dangerous since the moment they stepped foot within Hogwarts. In that time, they have had far too many incidences of tainted ingredients, leaving hazards within Herbology and Potions, injuring students and staff in their wake.
Surely a power like this is sentient.
…Right?
No, Severus knew it wasn't because he himself had suffered within its hold. Someone else knew about this. There just had to be. Too many close calls, and he had to wonder if whoever wanted it had been working out a way to get to it. Thus, Severus seemed the likely candidate for such a target.
But still, a lot of this did not make sense. They needed more information, and it seems they may have to keep their eyes peeled within Hogwarts, rather than just beyond those walls. But he could not help the sickening feeling rising within his stomach.
They were definitely missing some crucial pieces of information, and knowing that fact made Severus frustrated and anxious. He hated not knowing the details. He hated not being in control of a situation.
Once the somewhat heated discussion was over, the three younger ones dispersed out of the room, leaving Severus and Dawn behind to mull over the conversation in a tense silence. He could feel Dawn's gaze upon him yet again and he could only look into her eyes in worry before he gathered himself up. Severus began to pace the room plagued with racing questions and anxious nerves in the pit of his stomach, twisting knots with each dreaded thought.
Dealing with this curse again frightened him senseless. He didn't want to deal with it again. It remained buried for a reason and the thought of having to uncover it ignited another deepened worry. What if that thing hurt him or made him ill again? He couldn't go through with that again.
"Severus, we'll figure this out."
He shook his head, finally leaning back against the armrest, "At what cost? As with your case, we are also chasing our tails. The evidence we have, may not be enough to point fingers anywhere."
After a pause, she straightened her posture, "Perhaps this new cult, for lack of a better word, has been working towards obtaining it? The ritualistic alters and symbols that I found, along with their sacrifices and spilt blood…They must all be related. Their presentation reads to me as if they are worshipping something. If they are still supporting Voldemort's ways, then this goal of theirs appears more plausible."
Severus nodded grimly, "As much as I do not want to believe it, I think you may be correct. And coincidence or not, both the escalation in your case and the growing power appear to have made themselves known around the same time. They are, as confirmed by their new mark, continuing what the Death Eaters stood for. Except now they are seeking Voldemort's last remnant of power in order to utilise it and further their agenda. We mustn't allow them to find it."
"We won't let them, " Dawn echoed, firmly. But her gaze softened once she met Severus' once again, "I know you're worried about this object. What you've told me of it…I can't begin to imagine what is running through your mind right now."
His wary eyes shut, just for a moment, allowing himself to decompress in the silence and her company. He could hear Dawn shift immediately from her seat without missing a beat and rejoin him where he sat, feeling her soft hands against his cheek, before she pressed her lips softly at the bridge of his nose.
"We'll find a way, " Dawn whispered, as her breath touched his skin.
He never knew how she did it, but her words always hit straight to his heart. As if he did not dare want to impose on her sincerity by disagreeing with her. But her voice was soft and genuine. Her truth warming his own soul with such a kindness he could not find anywhere else.
Pulling Severus to his feet, she rested her hand upon his forearm, "Come on, Sev. Let's go to dinner - "
Severus stopped cold where he stood; colour drained from his already pale face, "What did you call me?"
But Dawn looked confused. Innocently unaware.
"Severus?"
"Don't, " Severus whispered harshly. His lower lip trembled, "…Please."
She continued to be dumbfounded and yet she remained speechless. The expression on her face was evident that she was trying to figure out why it had affected him so.
However, something in the back of his mind told him to flee. And that is exactly what his pathetic self did. He was breathless; panicked. Turning away from her to exit the room and away from her warmth. He fled her company just because of a mere nickname. One once so lovingly used by Lily in their youth, when things were blissful. To hear that same nickname from another's tongue was a painful reminder within itself. How could a single word be so triggering? Of course, he knew the implications of certain words having such an emotional impact, but that one? It was unexpected, and he never thought he'd ever hear that name ushered from someone else's lips again.
It was only when he reached halfway up the corridor, did he feel dreadful for his hastened, sudden exit. What a fool. He leaned against the stone wall, and settled beside a flickering torch flame in the silence of the corridor whilst he focused on controlling his breath.
You idiot, Severus. You cannot expect her to know.
But it was too late to turn back for fear of looking even more foolish. So, he silently and shamefully continued down to the Great Hall without Dawn at his side. He was nothing but livid with himself.
Throughout dinner, he could feel her eyes fixed upon him, but he couldn't bring himself to look. Ocean eyes enough to melt his soul. At least there was a measure of relief in hiding their love, but at what cost?
…Dawn did not deserve this from him.
She found him later that evening in the Restricted Section – her look of relief when she found him, told him that she had been searching for him for quite some time. But shame further burned at his cheeks, as he watched her plant herself on the seat beside him. He couldn't focus on the book in front of him as all words swam together and his tremoring hands fumbled with the pages, distracted by her presence. He felt defeated.
They sat together in silence, both wanting to break through the moment, but were unable to find the words to do so.
He heard Dawn shuffle closer to him, and he heard a few small, exhaled puffs from her lips. He shamefully placed her in an awkward position.
Yet again, he messed things up.
"Severus, I'm sorry for calling you what I did before…That's what she used to call you, right?" Dawn asked quietly but knew Severus was not about to answer. The heartbroken look of complete guilt on Severus' face told her all she needed to know, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know…I won't say it again if you don't want me to."
Severus stopped cold, pondering her words. He didn't want her apology – it was he who should be apologising, but he felt too pathetic to do so. He didn't want her to feel so terrible after an innocent mistake. But since the incident, the name had twisted and turned within his mind, struggling to fathom what it all meant now. He had since let go of Lily's memory – quite literally – but there were still things that lingered. But he had time to think about it, because never in all his life would he ever imagined anyone else so lovingly call him by that name again.
After much heavy thought upon the idea, despite the struggle, he was able to ponder its new meaning. As much of a shock as it was for Severus to hear it again, truthfully, he didn't mind it coming from her lips. Hers meant differently and was not a painful reminder of what he did. Shame still burned for making her feel bad about it at the heat of the moment when he reacted so abruptly and harshly in front of her. It surely wasn't the first time he had done such a thing in his life.
She deserved better. Far better.
"I will allow it…Only from you, " He lowered his head, feeling his cheeks burn with shame again, "It was a name I thought I'd never hear again. I was…I was caught off-guard. Dawn, I am truly sorry. I left foolishly before, and you did not need that behaviour from me."
"You have no need to apologise. I should have asked, " Dawn bit her lip, staring at him with deep concern, "Are you sure? I don't want to call you something you detest."
"No, please, " Severus breathed, squeezing his eyes shut, almost pleading in his willingness to hear her call his name, "No. From you, it sounds different. A good different."
He opened his eyes in time to see her offering him a bright smile; eyes gleaming with utmost empathy and exuberance. He expected her to be angry and walk away, or at least be dismayed by it. Because anyone would.
But she wasn't mad at him. And for that, he was grateful for it.
"…You're not angry at me?" He half-expected a verbal lashing, but there wasn't one.
"Why should I be, Severus? Sev…my love. I will not love you any less."
Severus exhaled deeply in relief. A relief long since weighted down by memories that remained painful to recall.
How can one name carry so much weight? Love, and bitter old memories.
…But he'd rather it be only out of love. His wounded heart deserved that much.
February 6th, 2004
[Harry Potter]
Harry could start to feel the baby kick.
Well, he had been feeling it moving around for a while now, but it has since become stronger that it hardly seemed real.
It was his favourite part of coming home over the weekend, sometimes failing to kiss his wife before he planted his lips all over her growing belly. Feeling the baby before it was born was an indescribable feeling. It still felt like such a dream that he was about to be a father to his very own flesh and blood. She was seven months along now, and soon enough, they will be holding their own little bundle of joy.
He was thankful for his experience in raising Teddy when Andromeda was alive, so he felt a little more prepared that they could raise a baby on their own. They felt…ready.
Ginny was glowing, as cliché as it sounded. But he didn't realise how true that statement actually was until he arrived home to her every weekend. Her smile beamed brightly whenever she saw him, with the most purest love in her eyes that he could see. The way she caressed her own growing belly out of tenderness for their growing child, made Harry the happiest and proudest. He knew she was going to be the best role model for their child, and a strength he knew only she could give.
"I guess those days are gone when you kiss me first?" Ginny teased, grinning widely.
After Harry's usual display of tender kisses upon her belly, he rose up and planted his lips upon hers, "You know I love you just the same."
"Oh, I'm just teasing you, Harry. It's actually rather endearing seeing you like this."
Harry felt himself blush, "Really?"
She nodded, leading him into the sitting room where they sat together, "Yes, really. You're so smitten, it's making me fall in love with you all over again. Fatherhood suits you."
"We have a lot to prepare for, with the little one."
"We've got this, Harry, " Ginny smiled, "Mum has practically most of its clothes, even though I told her I wanted to be able to buy some ourselves."
"That reminds me I need to get started on the baby's room…We haven't even thought about that, yet. And names? We still have a fair bit to worry about."
Ginny took his hand in hers, "Stop stressing. Remember Bill said he'd offer to help with the baby's room."
"I can't help but stress, Ginny."
"If you are so worried, I'm sure McGonagall can allow you home during the week. She's fair. Dawn or Severus can cover a few classes for you if you need as well. After all, they offered, too."
"I know, but…" Harry was still worried regardless, especially given the rising power and the group that are targeting families.
He had already had this discussion with Ginny on multiple occasions since she sensed his worry far before he ever admitted to them. He knew there was no hiding it from his wife, so he told her what they knew, and she so listened to his every worry. Harry always ensured she was protected, and the property was well-encompassed in protective charms, even going as far as to beg Dawn to enact her own around it. He wanted his home to be well-fortified and now with a baby on the way, they were not going to take any chances.
Because no one out there was safe, no matter what their blood status was.
Harry was incredibly thankful to have the support that he did, but there was still a rising dread in the pit of his stomach that he could not shake. The worst-case scenarios that were running through his mind on a daily basis were enough to ignite an old fear within him. He couldn't help but envision the worst. The idea of the last of Voldemort's power growing within the forest sent shivers down his spine. It frightened him. Like Severus, he in any form was the last thing they ever hoped to combat again.
After spending the entire weekend with Ginny and Teddy, it was time for him to return to Hogwarts to start yet another work week.
It began rather average, despite Harry's growing suspicions over Severus and Dawn's friendship. He once tried to ask him about it, but he was quickly shot down as expected. It was difficult to tell how far along their friendship was since he knew both to know how to mask very well - Harry had no hope of guessing between an Auror and an ex-spy. He noticed that they would split up in the Great Hall for mealtimes, in their bid to remain apart for most of their break, and he could definitely tell something was amiss.
Would Severus ever muster up the courage to tell him? Likely not. As before, Harry would have to try and prod that out of him somehow.
The Campbells, however, appeared to be having a very bad week. Minerva ultimately banned the twins from playing and watching Quidditch until the end of the year, when they tongue-tied a second year Ravenclaw so she couldn't get into her common room with a password. Minerva fired off at them angrily, giving them detention shovelling Thestral manure with Hagrid. Harry tried to be professional about it, but it served them right. After all, there was a rather conservative sense of justice in combating their bad behaviour.
Minerva was clearly at wit's end, and it was rare to see the Headmistress slowly lose her composure.
But it seems the infamous two were on a streak and growing worse by the day. A few days later, Cyrus deducts points from the Campbells for stalking a werewolf Slytherin first year and causing them to lose their belongings.
Harry bared witness to Dawn berating the Campbells one day and approached Minerva in fury, "I don't care if I lose my job here, Minerva! This can't keep happening!"
Minerva tried to quell her frustration with the problem at hand, "You are needed here, Dawn. This is not worth the cost of your job, and mine. They could relieve you of your Auror duties indefinitely. They are a Ministry family and one we have no chance of ever stopping until their completion of Seventh Year."
"Well, they better sort out their behaviour if they ever hope for a positive reference for their resumes, because I will not concede, " Dawn clenched her jaw, before storming off. Harry knew Dawn was angry about it, too. It wasn't like her to become angry, considering how impressive her patience usually is. But even her tolerance would snap at some point.
However, Hogwarts wouldn't run without Minerva at its helm, and no Ministry family was going to bring her down without a fight. She would risk her own title if it meant expelling them. The faculty was on her side, so there was a measure of relief with a battle not fought alone.
A week later, Harry was hit with another piece of devastating news, and one that rocked the entirety of Hogwarts – Fang had passed in his sleep.
The old dog had been ill for a while, fighting the old age and spending his last days at rest. But there was no helping the creature and his death sent the school in deep mourning. Fang was almost akin to the school's mascot; Hagrid's furry companion who had been by his side for decades. The friendliest dog Harry had ever known and loved by so many students and familiars.
Hagrid held a small service, burying the creature in his favourite part of his garden at his home, overlooking the beautiful mountain ranges beyond. A small grey marble headstone gleamed in the afternoon sun in his honour and was adorned with flowers from multiple students and staff.
Once the school had resumed at normal, Harry had seen Severus grow increasingly worried. Ever since the meeting they held in the Room of Requirement, there was something about his uneasiness that sent Harry into his own spiral of concern. He knew he was worried about the object brewing within the forest – they all were – but they all knew how deeply affected by it Severus was in regard to the curse that almost stripped away his life completely. All that effort to remove a curse and seal it away now seemed to backfire and cause chaos over time.
This was enough to make anyone sick with worry.
On the way to seek out Severus, he encountered Elias walking with a first-year Slytherin girl, making their way from their class in all of their innocence. Harry would surely keep an eye on those two, but with Elias' friendship, they would both be fine. Harry has seen Elias flourish in Charms and Herbology over time. The shy, meek child, with hopeful eyes. Since arriving at Hogwarts, the young boy began to grow in confidence and strengthen his drive to befriend others. His mother would have been so proud of him, as he was.
But there was something special about seeing a child grow when there was a time they almost lost their lives. He survived his tragic incident at Godric's Hollow and had a chance to grow up years later and now finally a student at Hogwarts. Seeing a child grow in any capacity was something that really made Harry smile. Knowing his own child will be born soon, made it even more of an endearing thought. Children grew up so quickly, and he didn't realise how true that was until Harry was able to witness it from an adult perspective. And now as a professor, he knew he'd be witnessing them all grow into their own and become such an amazing new wizarding generation.
After some time searching for the elusive man, he managed to find him berating a group of after-hour wandering Gryffindors in the main clocktower courtyard before acknowledging that Harry had entered the vicinity.
The Gryffindors sped past him, with Harry barking after them before they disappeared around the corner, "Walk, don't run!"
…Turns out all that time spent with the man, has rubbed off on him after all.
Severus suddenly freezes on the spot, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he were hit with a strong headache.
"Sir?"
The man looked sourly at Harry before he sighed heavily, "It's that bloody thing. In the forest."
Harry nodded glumly, "I-I figured." He also felt some measure of guilt for the fact that he had a hand of putting it there – the ritual was essentially, Harry and Hermione's idea. Granted, the success of the ritual was also because of them, but never in all their days did they imagine it to suddenly reject its vessel, especially many years later.
Maybe that thing was becoming sentient after all.
They began to walk casually towards the wooden bridge, taking in the view of the slowly setting sun, often forgetting how truly beautiful the location was. The pair walked in silence, but Harry took several side glances and could see the conflict across the man's sullen face. This had been weighing heavily on his mind that he could tell, no doubt, causing him quite obvious stress. His lips trembled and he noticed his hand begun to, as well. Eventually, they stopped and Severus looked out into the horizon. He was avoiding his face.
Harry leaned forward against the wooden beams, seemingly defeated himself, "…What are we going to do? What can we do?"
"I do not know – " Severus appeared very unsure of himself, but the man was making that last bit of effort to hide his face, "The curse didn't kill me as it was supposed to, so now it's trying to destroy everything else."
"Severus, what are you trying to say?" At first he narrowed his eyes; confused. He stared upon his face as much as he could see and within the silence that befell them, he realising something in horror. Harry's eyes studied the man now slightly trembling underneath his hair, until his eyes widened, and then he knew, "No, no, don't you dare!"
"What if it's the only way to stop this? Perhaps it needs me as a host again to finish the job, which it simply couldn't do before. It didn't take me and now it's slaughtering others in my place!"
"We are not going through that again, Severus no, please – " Harry soon realised tears were pouring down his face, with his chest feeling so incredibly heavy. He couldn't stop them if he tried, and this revelation of this wretched idea hit him harder than he ever anticipated.
Severus could only stare back with dark orbs full of sadness and lost hope. Utterly broken. The man reached for his shoulders and rested his hands there, squeezing with desperation and whispering harshly, "…I may not have a choice."
Harry whimpered feeling a cascade of emotions from the time he almost lost him still raw and heavy. Severus' life being drained from him as he lay in his death bed flooded his mind as if it only happened yesterday. The man's struggle with death and facing it head-on was a devastating time for them all. Harry overtime watched the man perish and suffer through the curse left in Voldemort's wrath. The pain and suffering he witnessed of a man so dignified, cut through his heart. He never wanted to see that again.
Harry wept, noticing the tears also welling within the man's eyes so despairingly.
Through his heartbreak, Harry could only manage to whisper the next through waves of deep sadness, "We're going to find another way like we always do. You've come too far just to give up now…I refuse to see you lose your life again."
The man lowered his head and managed all but a small nod, "I will fight for another way. I must."
February 27th, 2004
[Dawn Rheingold]
She wanted to tell the world.
She wanted every one of her family and friends to witness the love she had for this man, and that which had her so enamoured and it was so unfair that she could not share her bursting pride.
Not yet anyway.
Dawn had already discussed this with Severus, but there was a discomfort there within the man who told her he wasn't ready. She was patient, sometimes more than she should be. But despite that, she respected his fears and concerns and wanted him to trust in their love enough to make it known. Of course, working as colleagues within a school they spent the majority of their time in, made it all a little more problematic. They tried to mask it as best as they could, but it was difficult to figure out who may have seen something more. Harry, she suspected, appeared to be more in tune than she thought. Then again, he knew the man far more than she did so it may have also been possible he told him in confidence.
Severus had been growing worried over time, seemingly unable to focus on much at all. And she knew it was far more than their newfound relationship. She did not want to prod it from him, hoping that one day he could confide in her with all of his worries. But watching him slowly detach himself again from those around him, even her at times, was difficult to watch.
She wanted to know it all. Comfort him in any way she could to help him ease his pain. But it was challenging unless she knew what was truly on his mind, and she knew better than to pry.
They had difficulties that week in finding time together. Dawn was called away more often to discuss new developments in the case. More cult members were being found, each bearing a peculiar Mark and a moniker. Another innocent family already ripped apart. And yet still, they were unable to make a clear connection between the artifact and the cult. If there ever was one at all.
But the suspicions of being connected did make some sense. A cult, without a leader like Voldemort, seeking power enough to regain control and overpower parts of the magical world again. Rituals that appeared to be summoning something and victims of sacrifice left to rot where they lay after being used and abused. And they could only hope that perhaps they really did not know its location, hence the attempt at summoning. Or perhaps it was because of them who caused this artifact to grow in power.
So many questions. So many concerns, with no solid answers.
And yet she wanted nothing more than to curl up beside Severus and forget the world for a little while.
With finally some time to spare, she decided to make the travels to Cardiff to visit her family, not having seen them since before Christmas day. They had sent her multiple letters over the past few months and despite her promises to visit, she was finally about to fulfill them. With her brother finally popping the question to his long-time girlfriend, disappearing from their lives was not something she intended. Of course, her parents were aware of the dangers of her job and her choice to keep her distance, but she still missed them terribly. It seemed these days she was most consumed in her job and Severus, then to focus on much else.
"Well, look who the pixies dragged in, " Her father Richard greeted her behind his long ash-brown and silver beard.
Dawn smirked, and leaned in to kiss her father on the cheek, "Yes, I know father. I'm a little late."
Her mother enveloped her in a warm hug, before pulling back to look at her closely, "Sweetheart, we haven't seen you in a while. You had us worried."
Dawn slumped her shoulders guiltily, "I tried to find time to visit, but work is very complicated at the moment."
"You're working yourself to the ground. You need a break, " Her father said, "Surely it's not worth jeopardising your health for."
Dawn gave a small smile, "As lovely as that sounds, I can't abandon the investigation I am on."
"Dawn, we've heard about the attacks. The kidnappings – " Her mother Amber spoke in concern, " – Is that what you are working on?"
She could only nod hopelessly, ignoring the look of deep worry on her parent's faces. She was never really a good liar, however, she found it easier to accept the brutal truth anyway.
Richard sighed deeply, "Have you not endured enough? Why do you keep aligning yourself with danger like this?"
"Because it is my job, father, " Dawn said firmly, "And this is why I continue to do what I do. To help stop this madness."
"This madness has been going on for far too long, " Amber added, concerningly. "Duty or not…You can't fix everything."
Dawn slid into the kitchen chair and watched her parents follow suit, "These things take time. When so many people are involved, suspects that refuse to speak and resist the effect of Veritaserum, murders and kidnappings scattered across the United Kingdom, and crime scenes hiding the truth…They do not get solved within a month. Remember Desmond? He got injured in an attack last year and he's been out of action for a while. And the attack on the London Eye? This is far bigger than we thought it would be. They are openly attacking Muggles now."
Her parents were rendered silent, although she knew they were not happy with her pursuing such dangers. But it was a choice of hers to stay and fleeing in fear was not an option. Her stubbornness would never allow it.
And so, she continued, "I'm not alone in this. I have a dedicated team, and my love – "
She stopped cold in her chair, caught between the words that suddenly spilled, and the look of bewilderment on her parent's faces.
Dawn drew in a deep breath and quelled her concerns with her case. She leaned back in her chair and thought only of Severus. Her eyes gleamed and she could not suppress the smile that eventually stretched across her face. She knew she was not alone in this case and knew that her partner – her love – was in complete support of her.
But she also realised this was the first time she ever spoke of him to anyone else.
"My love? You seem…different. Are you sure everything is alright?" Amber spoke, concerningly.
"I am not just all work, mum. Everything is fine…Everything will be fine, " Dawn, still wearing the shadow of her sudden smile, was amused by her parent's hesitation. The more she thought about her slip, the more she didn't care if her parents knew. She was bursting to tell at least someone about him, and she figured her parents would be a safe start.
Keeping this to herself was agony.
"When you're truly stressed, you're usually eating any sugar-filled thing you can find. And you've not touched a thing since you've been here…" Amber raised an eyebrow, "What else is going on?"
Dawn clasped her hands, imagining the feeling of Severus running his own slender fingers over her skin. So tenderly, so careful. Every stroke filled with admiration as he etched his way across her surface, savouring every crease, scar, beauty spot, and dimple that adorned her body. The imperfections she despised, happened to be features that Severus loved.
Why couldn't she share her devotion to this man? Why did she have to keep it so far bottled up? Locking themselves away in his dungeon quarters, losing themselves in their own euphoric bliss had a secrecy that was special. However, she wanted to express her love of him openly. Clasp his hand tenderly at the Great Hall staff table, steal kisses between classes without the fear of being caught, sitting outside under the old oak tree by the lake, holding each other until the arrival of dusk. Smooth his wayward strands of hair when it fell onto his face as they passed each other in the corridors. Pour his mug of tea whenever it became empty.
Talking. Touching. Devoted completely to each other.
She smiled to herself, "I found someone. Someone who I grew to love very dearly over the last several months. We became friends, though it didn't start out that way at first…But then we grew closer, as did our trust, and…Something just clicked. It felt…right."
Her voice trailed off, knowing she could talk about him all day.
Amber tilted her head in a joyous curiosity, "Have you really? Dawn, I am so very happy for you, sweetheart. After all this time it's so wonderful to see that you found someone again."
But Richard didn't move from his serious expression, like every father in regard to their daughter's love life, "Who is he? Does he work at the Ministry?"
Dawn sighed, knowing that this was going to be a significant hurdle, "No dad. He…He works at Hogwarts. With me."
"What is his name?"
Her smile faded immediately. She obviously didn't think this through. Severus' name was known in the wizarding world, and made somewhat famous after the war. However the public acceptance of the man was not all as well-received since his crimes came to light. His hearing was made public and everyone knew of what he had done in the war, both in good graces and terrible. So, his role was no secret, but Order of Merlin First Class or not, there were many people who still publicly condemned him, causing all kinds of horrible things to be written about him, and causing him to lose a very stable job in the past.
Over the years Severus struggled to clear his name and earn his way back as a citizen amongst the magical folk, and he worked tirelessly to try and earn his public respect yet again. At least enough for him to live his life without looking over his shoulder out of safety. His Memory Potion had become such a success, that St. Mungo's had offered to endorse him for his ground-breaking invention, as with his Wolfbane brew which was well-received with the Ministry and his future far less professionally bleak as it once was. Even now, he was still tinkering away in his private lab planning, researching, inventing. So far his two signature brews had been historical, and that Severus was on the right personal path.
It made him feel worth something. It made him feel…normal. Even for a short time.
But there were still people willing to cast stones and for a dreaded feeling, she suspected her father would be one of them.
"He's…His name is Severus. Severus…Snape."
She saw her father pinch the bridge of his nose. It seems that she was correct in her assumption.
"Dad – "
"Him?"
"Would you please listen?" Dawn spoke firmly.
"Listen to what? I know what he did. It is no secret – "
But she cut him off, growing angrier by the moment, " – No, father, you don't. You know nothing about him."
"He's a criminal."
"He's a saviour, father. You don't know him as I do. He's not that man anymore. You have no idea what he sacrificed to see Voldemort perish, " Dawn frowned, soon feeling her angered voice tremble, "You don't see his drive to protect the ones he loves. You don't see his pain…his torment. You don't see his struggle to find his sense of self, and his place in this new world. You don't see the way he condemns himself for his failures and mistakes. You don't see his efforts to do the right thing…You see none of this."
Her frown turned to angry tears, fighting tooth and nail to defend a man who did not deserve to be condemned. She refused to doom him to that for the rest of his life.
"Dawn, " Her mother finally spoke, but quietly, "…Is he good to you?"
Dawn paused, relieved of her mother stepping in, "Immensely, mother. I've never been this happy with anyone before, not even my ex."
"As long as you are happy and he's happy with you, then it is all I could ever hope for, " Amber said, shooting a darkened look at her husband who opened his mouth to speak, "Your father is worried about you, you must understand. But as you said, we do not know him as you do. I haven't seen you smile like that since – "
She nodded, pushing her simmering anger away, and finally smiling again, "I know. I haven't felt this happy as I am when I'm with him."
"Well, " Her mother smiled warmly, "Once your father learns to behave, perhaps you could introduce him to us sometime? Your brother is finally getting married, but he has yet to set a date. I would hope to meet him before then."
Dawn nodded blissfully, with the glorious image of her attending with Severus by her side, "I would love to. Be kind to him, please. You'll soon see that he is not the man you assume he is."
Once she said her rounds of goodbyes, she departed for Hogwarts once more. It was difficult to know how her family would react but knowing her father harboured the ill-will against Severus, made things a little more problematic. She knew Severus would get along with her mother just fine, but her father? Severus might become a little defensive when he discovers how resentful her father is of him, but she wanted nothing more than to introduce him to her family. He didn't have a family of his own, so she could only hope to share hers.
When Saturday morning rolled around, Dawn was up early enough to take over the morning patrols from Aurora. Dawn was more than willing to do an extra patrol that week, giving her enough headspace to think of recent events.
Once she rounded past the Transfiguration classrooms, she arrived at the courtyard to hear people yelling and cheering. A mess of green and blue swirled together as she observed a fight in between.
"Your House Head allowed us to be tortured!"
"Professor Snape kept us alive you piece of – "
"He's scared of snakes! How's that for karma!"
"You'd be dead if it weren't for him, you insensitive – "
"ENOUGH! All of you! Silence at once!" Dawn commanded, leaving the students around them to fall painfully silent. She drew out her wand and magically separated the fighting students who were rendered speechless by her intervention. But Dawn was furious, "What on earth has come over you lot?!"
Immediately a flurry of hands and pointed fingers proved the situation to be far more complicated. The sea of Slytherins and Ravenclaws, with the odd Hufflepuff and Gryffindor thrown into the mix, told her of enough. She observed the Ravenclaw and Slytherin culprit in the middle, taking note of their torn clothing, cuts, and bruises on their face.
"You two, double-detention, and twenty points deducted from each of your Houses!" Dawn was furious, "I do not want to see any student attacking another and any vitriol against a member of staff. Am I making myself blatantly clear? Both of you go to the Hospital Wing immediately, and I will have a word with you later. Now go!"
She watched as the groups of students dispersed around her, fleeing the scene that had just occurred. Dawn turned to the other side to find Severus making his way towards her. He must have heard the ruckus from the dungeons as it simply was not that far away.
"What in Merlin's name were they fighting about?" Severus asked, watching the students quickly depart.
She drew in a breath, "…You. One of your Slytherins spoke highly of you and a Ravenclaw didn't approve."
Severus stopped in his tracks, scowling, "Did you apprehend them appropriately?" He was clearly caught off guard by a student openly defending him, that he appeared rather conflicted.
"They both received double-detention and docked points before sending them to the Hospital Wing…As much as I wished to award your house for finally standing up for their House Head, " Dawn took note of Severus in a state of disbelief, "It seems your Slytherins are in your corner now. As they should be."
"I am not their friend."
"It has nothing to do with making friends with them, Severus. It's about giving them reasons to place their trust and faith in you as their Head of House. Their mentor."
"Mr. Hastwell has been a positive influence on them. I elected him Prefect for good reason, but surely not in my defence."
"He's a model student - " The pair began to wander towards the dungeons until Dawn stopped in her tracks and turned to face him with her head tilted, "Let's go to my quarters instead…For a change in scenery. Oh, Sev, don't give me that look. Put your pride away for one afternoon and join me."
After finally convincing him to put his Gryffindor bitterness aside, they were able to sneakily make their way to Gryffindor Tower in another section away from the Common Room. They entered through the dark scarlet wooden door activated by her wand and made their way inside. This was Severus' second time seeing her quite homely quarters, the first being when she simply needed him there, and he heeded her call rather quickly.
"Tea, Severus?"
He shook his head, "Not at this moment."
"You rejected tea? Blasphemy!" Dawn teased, immediately firing up the fireplace. The large, stained arch windows in the sitting room illuminated the multi-coloured glass panels of a majestic lion. The clear glass around it gave way to the beautiful sun-kissed views of the valley below.
Severus appeared distracted and not in a good way. Eyebrows curved in unease, as he froze on the spot. Dawn's light-hearted smile faded upon realising that something was still deeply bothering him. His eyes hooded in a strange sadness that she could not quite place.
Settling back up beside him, she tenderly brushed against his arm resting on the back of the sofa in her attempt to bring him back to the present, "Severus, what is it?"
Severus' lips twitched as he was about to say something, but he hung his head and stared at the maroon carpet for a few moments. When she touched his arm again, he looked back at her, albeit weary and troubled. He gently took her hand and led her to the couch, eventually enveloping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close against him. They were still silent at this point, hearing nothing but the man's haggard breaths.
"This…curse. It is nothing that should be meddled with. By either of us, " Severus finally broke the silence, with the hoarseness of his voice sending her with her own unease, "The pain it inflicts…the fear…I do not want to see you go anywhere near it."
Her fingers wove between his, smoothing them over his calloused edges, "I sense your fear, Severus, for the life it almost took from you. It will not happen again. We will find a way."
Severus sighed, defeated, "We are running out of safe options."
She shook her head, "If they really are trying to bring it forth, then there has to be a way to re-seal it back into the earth. Or relocate it so it can never be discovered by them."
"We do not have a solution for that. It took months to force that curse within the object and I will not succumb to another round of a ritual we used to sanction it."
She squeezed his hand gently, feeling a measure of reassurance with the tender touch, as if coldness would strike as soon as she pulled away, "We will figure it out."
Still appearing disheartened, Severus squeezed back, "Perhaps I could modify the nightshade potion and enhance its protective properties. The Aurors may benefit from that – "
Dawn leaned in and planted a kiss upon his lips, stopping him from continuing. A simple kiss rendered him silent. She brushed her thumb over his parted lips, imprinting the curvature of them within her mind. The delicious cupid's bow upon its mantle, made her want to kiss them all over again.
"I wish we didn't have to hide our affection from the world like this, " Dawn finally said, knowing those words had weighed heavily upon her for so long.
Severus hesitated, "I thought we agreed to keep it hush for a while?"
"Well, yes. But for how long? It's been some months now, and…Pretending we are only just colleagues takes a bit of a personal toll, don't you agree?"
"Your life will not be the same when people learn you are affiliated with me on a personal level."
Dawn's heart melted. The fact that he thought more of how this affected her, rather than himself, slightly broke her, "Oh, no…My love. I will be proud to share it. Perhaps you could meet my family sometime? My brother is due to be wed by the end of the year and I'd much rather not attend as a solo bird." She felt him pull her closer against his body, with the warmth they both needed. Dawn smiled blissfully, "I like you, Severus. I like being with you by my side. With you, I feel safer than I've ever been…and I'm an Auror."
Severus' lips twitched, instead still looking uncertain of himself. There was a worry there she could not quite place, "I'm unsure that I can give you what you seek…I am not a, well…desirable man."
"Oh, nonsense. Says who? You are desirable to me. I enjoy connecting with you and delving into that fascinating mind of yours. We see eye-to-eye and I've never found anyone who understands me as well as you do."
"This still feels uncharted. I've never really experienced…this, " He sighed in his own defeat, "…Having anyone willing to stay."
"Considering my previous marriage, I never really did, either."
There was a short pause before he continued, delicately, "What happened?"
"With my ex?" She gave a cold laugh, which appeared to unnerve him. But instinctually on that subject, her fingers brushed against the silver locked at her clavicle as if she was seeking that additional comfort, "He left – abandoned – me, actually. Something happened and he blamed me for it. He didn't even give me a chance and I don't even know what happened myself."
"You didn't deserve that."
She shook her head, knowing that there were some painful things she'd much rather wait to share, "No one deserves that. Not after…" She sighed, biting back her words, before she diverted the conversation, "So, your mother…What was her maiden name? Was she a pureblood?"
Severus gave a small frown in her bid to change the subject, but she was thankful he did not prod her further, respectfully leaving it alone for the time being. Eventually, he nodded, "She was. From the Prince family…Long since eradicated."
"Not completely. You're still technically a Prince."
He curled his lip, looking bitter about it, "Not legally. I bear my wretched father's Muggle name."
"Names can be changed if you so desire. It is not uncommon. I know how little your father means to you and if they are all gone, what does it matter?" Dawn reassured, despite Severus' look of deep concentration. It was definitely worth pondering if it meant escaping a name that so forth brought him so much misery. "Or I could just call you call you Batman and leave it at that."
As a shock even to Dawn, Severus cracked a smile. No, not a mischievous smirk as he usually did. A proper smile enough for a few crooked teeth to be visible.
Dawn's heart fluttered, as her face lit up in an endearing smile, "You have such a charming smile, Severus."
That appeared to completely send him off-guard, not completely realising he did so until she pointed it out. Severus managed to catch himself, replacing his smile with a gloomy expression and a burning shame at his cheeks. This further broke her heart. Dawn shook her head gently, empathy shining within her eyes, "No, no. Please don't wipe it away. I want to see more of it. Why hide it? …I want to see you happy."
"You…you make me happiest I've ever been, " Severus ushered those words under his breath, as if those words were only meant for her, and no eager nosey portrait. Words which felt like it was meant only for her soul to hear.
Dawn's smile broadened, "And you make me happy, my darling Prince. Happiness looks good on you. I promise."
Her palm reached out against his cheek, and she felt his smile return as he melted into it. Something she enjoyed seeing and never wanted it to disappear for as long as she was there.
Through their struggles, they had each other.
…And they needed to hold onto that for as long as they could.