Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown (the Weight of this World)
"I wasn't expecting you to be the stray I'd have to collect tonight." Aizawa-sensei offered in what Shouji assumed to be an attempt at a conversation.
What he couldn't understand was why Aizawa-sensei was trying to start a conversation. He wasn't a hateful man by any means, Shouji was very much aware of this. But he wasn't a talkative man either. He preferred silence and peace over the classroom's insanity- silence made it easier to sleep, after all, when he wanted to curl up in his sleeping bag.
The teenager looked through the window on his right and took note of the scenery passing him by. One streetlight illuminated a small stretch of road before the light disappearing into darkness... And then another streetlight's illumination shattered the night. On and on the rhythm went- on and on the city's environment continued to pass before him.
A light drizzle began to fall from the sky, allowing thin drops of rain to cling to the upper part of the car window before they slowly made their way down. The rhythmic pattering of the rain was comforting- Shouji had always found peace in the sound of a calm rain.
Seconds passed in silence.
Shouji opened his mouth to say anything... But nothing came to mind.
He was still frozen.
It seemed that his teacher noticed how difficult it was to speak at the moment, seeing how he decided to fill up the silence with his own voice.
"I also was not expecting to have you, out of all my students, be the one to try and stop the Hero Killer from taking another life." He murmured in an almost emotionless sigh- at least he didn't sound completely disappointed. Although Shouji could tell that the tired huff to his voice was forced. It wasn't as exasperated as the genuine ones he would let out during class. "Am I to assume that your classmates' and their impulsive actions are rubbing off on you?"
He shouldn't have thought that. At least, Shouji didn't think there was a reason to think such a thing. Every single time Midoriya and the rest of his close friends had gotten into trouble, it had been because they had thrown caution to the wind and... Oh... Well, Aizawa-Sensei may have had a point.
The teenager moved his jaw to try and force himself to say something.
The pain that shot up from the palms of his hands and ran its course throughout his whole body shocked him back into silence.
He had faced off against Stain: The Hero Killer. And he had somehow survived.
Aizawa-Sensei sighed softly before he turned on the radio onto some musical station that Shouji wasn't really interested in trying to listen to.
Even though this conversation had finalized, Shouji couldn't help but think that this was only a temporary end. After all, Aizawa-Sensei had been forced to (most probably) wake up from what he considered to be extremely important sleeping time to pick up yet another of his students that had decided to take part in heroics at a rather inopportune time... and at the hospital, of all places...
Sunday night really was a pretty bad time to decide to get into a fight with a villain. Especially when he was supposed to have brought the class' groceries... Oh.
The teen cursed at his own forgetfulness.
A whole minute passed before his teacher inquired as to why he had hissed under his breath.
Shouji forced himself to swallow his saliva, even through the lump in his throat. Then he breathed out softly and answered, "The groceries. The reason why I even left U.A."
As soon as he finished speaking, he heard a heavy sigh from his teacher. The car slowed as Aizawa-sensei turned on the car's left blinker, signaling them changing course. Shouji quirked an eyebrow at this, but didn't question it. His teacher always had a reason for doing something. And if he was changing the course they were driving on, there was undoubtedly a perfectly logical reason for it.
"Where'd you leave them?"
Well... Even though Aizawa-Sensei wasn't a very talkative man, Shouji could at least say that he certainly cared about his students to a rather large degree. If he didn't, he wouldn't have cared at all about their food.
Still, Shouji tried to think back on where he had left the groceries... and promptly winced at the memory of having dropped them onto the sidewalk he had been walking on when he had heard a scream.
Oh. Oh no.
Shouji leaned his head onto the headrest behind him, closing his eyes with frustration. Not only had he almost gotten himself killed, but he had also effectively washed away the money his classmates had trusted him with.
"I dropped them when I heard the scream," he admitted with a sigh, opening his eyes to glance over at his teacher. To the man's credit, Aizawa-Sensei's face remained tired-looking and didn't seem to react at the information. "There were some fragile things- those must have broken. And..."
"It's good to see that someone is trying to be an actual hero in this day and age."
His train of thought halted as soon as the Hero Killer's words entered his mind.
Why had his brain supplied this memory right now? Why did he have to be reminded of the fact that he had been a complete idiot? Why... why did he feel like this if he believed that what he had done had been the best course of action?
He could have died tonight. That's why he was still so terrified. He could have died at the hands of the Hero Killer and then he never would have become a pro-hero; he would have never accomplished his dreams. He would have died at fifteen because he had been impulsive.
"Shouji, snap out of it."
The teenager blinked rapidly, attempting to come back into reality. He looked down at the palm of his hands- they were very much injured, yet bandaged up. The paramedics had forced him to get into the ambulance and travel to the hospital with them after he had been unable to properly react to their questions. There he had been subjected to a lifetime of wintery cold that had only been somewhat assuaged by a blanket a kind nurse was able to scrounge up for him.
In all honesty... he had barely even felt the cold. He had been unable to properly register the amount of time he had spent within the hospital. Hell, he didn't even remember the exact moment he had received stitches on all of his arms. All he could say was that it was nearing midnight and he had come out of the operating area to find Aizawa-sensei waiting for him with a change of clothes so he wouldn't have to stay any longer in his wet; bloodied; clothes.
He had been in shock ever since Stain had actually talked to him... there was no other way to describe why he had been so... out of it.
The Hero Killer had talked to him about being a true hero... he still didn't know what to think of such a reality.
This was a sick man, Shouji knew. His ideals were founded upon a good message, sure, but were ultimately tainted because of his tactics.
Still... hearing that he thought that Shouji had the makings of a true hero... It was scary.
"Sorry." he forced himself to speak after a long stretch of silence fell over them once more, then cleared his throat. "The rain must have ruined them- I bought some flour for Sato and the milk Yaoyorozu likes came in carton."
His teacher didn't say anything after that. Shouji wanted to shrink into himself right then, feeling like nothing more than a scolded child that had been caught misbehaving terribly. He had always hated this feeling of guilt- which was the very reason why he worked so hard to please his family. He didn't want to feel like this. It sucked.
After a couple of minutes of driving, with each song playing softly on the radio leaving Shouji even more confused about his teacher's musical tastes, Aizawa-Sensei pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store. It was much bigger than the one he had walked to- it was much farther from U.A. than what the administrators were comfortable with him visiting. It was also one of those places that was open twenty-four hours.
"Do you still have the list of what your classmates wanted?" his teacher questioned as he stopped the car and cut the engine.
Dumbly, Shouji shook his head. He had thrown it out after he had finished with it.
Aizawa-Sensei frowned deeply and Shouji felt the sting of disappointment burrow deeper within his heart.
"But I do remember most of what they wanted." he tried to fix the issue quickly, "It's pretty routine at this point."
Aizawa-Sensei's face still had the lingering shadows of tiredness, but the frown on his lips seemed much more worried than tired. And the darkness within his eyes was focused wholly on Shouji- he had almost gotten himself killed through an impulsive and stupid decision. He had almost died.
"Alright," the man jerked his head in the direction of the entrance of the store, "Let's go."
"But..." Shouji couldn't stop himself from staring, "I don't have any money. I already wasted it all."
His teacher opened up his door and stepped out, then answered, without looking back at Shouji, "I'm paying. Now hurry up- I'm tired and need to get some sleep before I have to deal with the rest of 1-A tomorrow."
He wasn't able to stop himself from staring in surprise at the back of his teacher.
The man was willing to pay for their groceries, even though he didn't have to. Meals were offered by U.A. for the major eating times- they didn't need to cook for themselves to survive.
Aizawa-Sensei was a much more complex man than Shouji had thought. And he was much kinder than Shouji would ever have even contemplated.
That was... reassuring.
He hadn't ever actually contemplated much about his teacher before, but knowing that the man cared about them really comforted Shouji a lot. And he now wondered why he had never been curious about this before.
With these thoughts having replaced the memories of his meeting with Stain, Shouji Mezou opened the passenger side's door and climbed out, then quickly made his way to where his teacher stood so he wouldn't hold him back from entering the store any longer.
It was Monday. He had managed to get a few hours of sleep after he and Aizawa-sensei had managed to put away all of the groceries they had gotten for the class.
He had bandages covering his palms and still felt as if he was wading through mud. Ever since the Hero-Killer had left him behind in the alleyway, dusted him off as nonthreatening, Shouji hadn't really felt as if he was himself.
Luckily, though, his classmates were kind enough to give him space to breathe.
He wasn't sure if the change in atmosphere within the dorm was because there had been an actual change or because he was so stuck inside his own head that he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. But the next morning didn't feel as rushed as every other morning. He barely heard the usual sounds of irritation, excitement, and exasperation he was accustomed to hearing with his classmates. He didn't even have to shoulder his way through crowds of ravenous students to get some cereal this morning- some had been left out for him. He didn't know by who. But he was grateful for it.
Going to class that day had been, in his honest opinion, kind of a waste of time. Everything his teachers had attempted to teach him had gone in one ear only to immediately been chucked out the other. It was as if he was a careless wind- drifting all around without a proper route to take. In all honesty... it scared him.
But he couldn't shake himself out the stupor.
And he certainly couldn't sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, all he could see was blood and the vicious flat teeth of the man that went around murdering heroes in cold blood.
He lay awake on his futon. There was no moon in the sky tonight, although there were quite a few stars that shined rather brightly. None of them was a planet, though. He had checked that out at around ten pm- when he was still able to hear some sounds of movement from the rest of his classmates.
That had been hours ago. The last time he had heard anything stir had been around half an hour ago- it was more like forty seven minutes, really, but who was keeping count? It had been Kirishima to go out and get himself some water before he bumped into a wall, cursed his lack of sleep, and stumbled back into his room.
It was three in the morning now. He hadn't gotten a single second of sleep. His eyes were heavy, yes, and they were begging him to rest, if only a little. And his whole body creaked in a way he had never experienced before... but his ribs hurt. He didn't know why. But that pain was keeping him alert. And his brain was keeping him awake.
If things continued the way they were going, morning would arrive and he wouldn't have gotten a single wink of sleep.
Sighing softly, the teenager closed his eyes... only to immediately regret them and forcefully open them when flashes of a blade swinging down at him crashed straight into him.
His breath quickened for a few seconds before he was able to calm himself down.
Breathing out softly, Shouji sat up and hung his head.
He didn't have anything to do. The idea of having to face Stain in his dreams was daunting. Even though his body was begging for him to get some kind of sleep, his brain was refusing the very possibility of it. All his mind could think of was how close he had been to death... and Shouji couldn't handle it any longer.
So he stood up and made his way out of his room, bare feet padding ever so softly as the cold of the floor made itself known to him.
He went into the kitchen on auto-pilot. He was tired and his brain was fogged, so he barely took note of what he was doing. He only knew that he was doing it because he needed something to distract himself with- sleep wasn't coming because the nightmares were going to be too real.
It was a... scary frame of mind to be in. It was paradoxical, even. His eyes were seeing, his feet feeling... yet it was as if none of that was happening. Everything passed him by with his brain barely processing it. And then he was in the doorway into the kitchen, where he could see the remnants of Kirishima's own midnight walk on the counter- he had left the cup he had previously drank from out of the sink with a bit of water still inside.
Shouji sighed softly and walked towards the cup. He then grabbed it, dumped what water was still inside, and washed it before setting it out to dry.
His mind had asked his body to go through with the motions. Yet... as he did them... it was as if he was a spectator within his own mind. He knew why his body was doing this... but there was a disconnect.
He could have died.
Shouji breathed in deeply and forced his mind to return to his body. He tried to ground himself in the here and now. And he avoided closing his eyes until they were burning from the need to give them the respite that was a blink.
His throat felt dry.
Grabbing the cup he had previously washed, Shouji walked towards the fridge to serve himself some water. After that was done, he padded out towards the living room. There he sat down on the sofa, grabbed hold of the control, and began to watch some early morning cooking shows.
He did not get a single second of sleep that night.
Tuesday wasn't any better. He failed a pop quiz in English class and barely remembered to finish homework for All-Might-sensei's own course.
Tokoyami seemed to want to talk to him during lunch... but Shouji avoided him with a lame excuse of needing to go back to the dorm to find his wallet.
All day his movements felt heavy. It was horrible.
He managed to get twenty minutes of sleep at two in the morning; with his head thrown back against the back of the couch and his body creaking in need of proper sleep... then he awoke suddenly when he heard Yaoyorozu's door opening and closing with the softest of clicks.
He wasn't able to get any sleep after Yaoyorozu returned to his room after returning from the bathroom.
He fell asleep during homeroom on Wednesday morning. He didn't know for how long.
What he did know was that he awoke to a nightmare of Stain's blade through the body of the pro he had attempted to save... and then he found a few curious eyes aimed at him.
Blinking, wide eyed, he apologized for the sudden awakening they had been forced to witness.
He was able to see Kouda and Tokoyami exchange meaningful glances just as Aizawa-sensei crawled into the room and called for the class to pay attention to him and ignore his tardiness.
He collapsed that very afternoon.
One moment he had been sitting on his bed, feeling his stomach roiling uncomfortably as his head pounded with a migraine so powerful that the faint sunlight that came in through his window still blinded him even with his eyes closed. The next was a blank; everything went black.
He awoke on Thursday to a sedate knocking on his door. Dark Shadow informed him that he needed to get up now if he didn't want to be late for class through the door. A few seconds later, Tokoyami asked him if he was feeling alright.
With his throat scratched and parched and a mind that was barely able to understand what was being said, he called out hoarsely that he'd hurry to get ready.
He had slept more than twelve hours.
His body felt even worse after such a feat.
He didn't even manage to make it to class on Thursday. Aizawa-sensei stopped him just as he lumbered into the kitchen to get some breakfast.
Bakugo had just finished preparing the food that they were allowed to then pick and choose from. Mina had been seated on the kitchen counter, finishing her homework at the last minute with the blonde growling at her with his aid. Luckily, no one else had been around to hear Aizawa-sensei informing him that he wasn't going to class that day.
Unfortunately, Shouji wasn't sure if Mina would get around to telling the rest of their classmates about such a thing... if it were up to him, none of them would find out about what had happened to him- they already had enough issues in their personal lives to deal with. He didn't want anybody worrying about him.
Shouji blinked.
Aizawa-sensei reached for something in his back pocket.
Bakugo and Mina hurried out of the kitchen with the excuse that they would tell the rest of the class that the food was ready.
"Here." the teacher offered him an envelope that only had his name written on the front of it. "The gist of it is that you've been given today and tomorrow off from school to take care of your mental health. Your teacher's have been informed and the schoolwork you've done this week won't count towards your grade- you'll be able to make up the work later on. The school psychologist's number is in there too- just call and she'll make sure to be able to meet with you within the hour."
The teenager blinked at the paper but raised his heavy arm to grab it. Once it was clasped within his fingers, he lowered the arm once again. He didn't feel like reading what was held within just yet.
Aizawa-sensei's frown became somewhat more harsh before he sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "My number's in there too. Just in case you'd rather talk to me."
Shouji nodded numbly.
His teacher shifted on his feet for a moment before he sighed, "You know-" he began, only to cut himself off when a crash from outside of the kitchen broke through the relative stillness of the morning.
"You idiot! Aizawa-sensei's in the kitchen right now!"
Shouji would have smiled, normally, to hear Bakugo's shout. It was the kind of shout that let him know mischief had been afoot but spoiled.
"What? No! I can't go down like this!" Sero wasn't very good at keeping himself out of trouble.
Tears began to prick at his eyes for the first time since Sunday night.
He didn't feel even the least bit amused at his classmate's antics.
Aizawa-sensei sighed, shook his head, and left the kitchen to see exactly what school rule Sero had broken before breakfast time.
Shouji watched him leave and didn't move.
His body was heavy.
But the envelope in his hand seemed to weigh a ton.
Midoriya Izuku and Shouji Mezou. These are the names of both children that have shown me to have the morals of a true hero. They're both students in U.A.- both in class 1-A.
The broadcasting of the Sports Festival is still a rather controversial topic amongst the populace. Some believe that it is a breach of privacy for such young individuals to have their faces plastered all over Japan as the next generation of pro-heroes. Others believe that it is only right that they get to follow some part of their education, seeing how they will possibly become the next generation of pro-heroes working with the population at large.
It's all just a spectacle. Less than half of the children that participate in the Sports Festival actually manage to become pro-heroes. Having their faces known by society will detract from those that don't make it. But, at the end of the day, most of these children are all brainwashed into believing the fake ideal of what a true hero is. Like that pink haired child that turned her battle into an advertisement for her creations- most of these kids are well on their way to becoming so egotistical they are well away from redemption.
In a way, it is absolutely disgusting that children are being exploited for such a greedy and superficial society. But in another way, this is just the natural conclusion our society has reached now that it has allowed such fake heroes to dominate the public consciousness.
But this is not a manifesto on my beliefs. I'm writing that elsewhere. No, here I am taking stock of important occurrences. And here I am keeping track of my purging actions.
A new course of action struck me yesterday night, as I re-watched young Midoriya's performance in the Sports Festival.
All-Might, the only true pro-hero in action, is failing in health. He has hidden it rather well, but I am no fool. And he is much slower than ever before; weaker, more vulnerable.
Logically, it was only to be expected for him to deteriorate in his older age. Although it pains me, I cannot allow such foolish emotions to blind me- as I'm sure they have blinded most others that refuse to see the obvious change in our beloved hero.
All-Might, now, more than ever, is Japan's most popular walking target. And he will need someone to protect him at all times now that he has become so weak.
Midoriya Izuku and Shouji Mezou will be trained to take up such a pivotal role.
Both of these boys have the makings of true heroes. I will make sure their potential is not squandered by this abhorrent society.
~..~..~
I'm very happy to see that there are people that are interested in the story! Shouji is my favorite character in this fandom and I'm happy to see that others want to see some more fics with him!
Please review!