I drank the rest of my beer and grabbed my jacket.
"Jules, what are you doing?"
"I knew this was a mistake."
I started walking to the front door.
"Shit! Jules wait," Jax sighed heavily.
The man who was checking out Jules earlier stopped Jax from leaving out the front door.
"Hey man, you mind if I give that fine piece of ass a try?"
Jax grabbed the guy right by the front of the shirt, causing the glass of alcohol in the heckler's hands to shatter on the floor.
Jax slammed him against the closest wall.
"You talk about her like that again, I'll kick your teeth in. You understand?"
The guy's eyes widened, and he nodded numerous times.
Jax let go of him after a few seconds and went outside.
"Jules!"
I kept walking, blocking out the sound of his voice. To others, they probably thinking I'm being dramatic. But, I really don't think It's not just about that night.
He left me high and dry for his "fiancé", a woman who doesn't understand him at all, and always puts him down. I thought maybe if I was good enough, he would've picked me. And the thought of him being with Wendy made me sick now.
Why the hell am I being like this?
I heard the sound of feet jogging toward me, making me walk faster.
"Jules, stop!", he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
"You just don't get it, do you?"
"Look, I didn't mean to upset you."
"It's not just that Jax. I know I fucked up. And, I don't need you reminding me what I did. God, do you even feel bad about what we did?"
"You want the truth?"
"Yeah, that would be nice."
"No."
"No?"
"I knew what I was doing. I knew I wanted to sleep with you. Why should I feel sorry for what I wanted?"
"You should feel sorry cuz it would hurt Wendy if she found out."
"I know I should feel sorry. But, I don't. Don't ask me why."
I just shook my head at his reply.
"Well, I wish I could take it back."
"No, you don't."
"Excuse me?"
"You wanted it as much as I did. That's why you're running away. Cuz you still do."
I shoved him with as much force I could muster up at the moment.
"Go to hell, Jax. You don't know what I want."
"I know what you want. You always want everyone to be happy. You're so focused on everyone else's happiness that you forget about your own."
I just looked at him.
"No, I don't. I am happy. I got everything I ever wanted."
"Really? How's that working out for you?"
"It's great."
Three weeks Later:
I was doing my best to avoid the conversation with Felicia about how it went that night as long as possible. But unfortunately for me, it wasn't long enough.
My office door busted open.
"So, how'd it go? I'm not letting you put this off any longer."
I just shook my head and went back to work.
"That bad? What the hell happened? It looks like you saw someone shoot a puppy."
"He thinks I'm not happy."
"Well, you're not."
"You're agreeing with him? Felicia, I thought you were on my side here."
"It's not about sides, Jules. It's the truth. Yeah, you have a great job, and all the money you can imagine, but what do you really come home to at night?"
"I don't know."
"That's why you should figure out what you really want and go after it, for once in your life."
"How can one woman piss me off this much," Jax asked Opie, who was cleaning out the shed.
"Cuz you're into her. You have been since high school."
"What?"
"You have. I mean come on, man you covered up a murder she committed. If it wasn't for her dad, you would still be rotting in prison. Call me crazy, but you don't do that for any girl."
"What should I do here, Op?"
"Stop being such a pussy and tell her."
Jax laughed and nodded his head.
His best friend was right. He needed to tell her, or the question will always be circling around him.
What if?
That question has been on his mind since the got married to Wendy.
What if he had stayed with Julia?
Would he move to New York with her? Would she stay here with him in Charming?
But, there was a question bigger than all of it eating at Jax everywhere he turned.
Would he be able to get over all the looks and comments about him being with a black woman?
Jax's house was quieter than usual. Wendy was out-of-town visiting her sister. If she was home right now, it would have been World War 3 over something incredibly fucking stupid. He sat on his couch, almost finished with his cigarette, staring intensely at his keys on the cluttered coffee table.
Should he? Shouldn't he?
Jax got up from the couch and put out his cigarette. A soft knock stopped him from grabbing his keys.
When he opened the door, he smiled.
Julia.
She had fresh tears in her eyes, and her hair was pulled back in a messy bun.
" I've been thinking about what you have said. You're right. I don't think about my own happiness. I only do what other people want me to do. Like some kind of fucking puppet, " she chuckled through her sentence and sniffled.
A small grin crossed the beautiful man's face standing before her.
"I never thought I would've been one of those women who fall under the spell of one Jackson Teller. I vowed myself not to ever do it. I have done so ever since high school when I tutored you. But I broke my promise. I am in love with you. I know how fucking cliche that sounds. But I am. Not the kind of love that makes me feel like I could do anything and shout about it from the fucking rooftops like something out of a movie, but it's the kind where it scares the living shit out of me. If you ask me, that type of love is far more intense. I'm not saying you have the feel the same way back, but you should know. I'm sorry I denied it all this time."
Jax didn't say anything and just kept repeating what she said in his head over and over.
"Jules!"
I was at my car and when Jax jogged to me.
"I want this. Me and you. I want all of it. I'm tired of denying it too. Five years is enough, don't you think?"
"What about your mom? Wendy? the club?"
"I'll figure it out. Because you'll be there to help me."
He took my face into his rough calloused hands.
With his thumbs, he wiped the tears that have fallen down my cheeks. The cool metal of his rings were a great relief to my scorching skin .
"I want to be with you, Jules. And I know I hurt you before, but I'll do everything I can not to.."
I cut him off.
"I love you."
"I love you too."