I'm going to continue this chapter when Opie's funeral took place. This chapter is short, but it gets straight to the point. As always, let me know what you think!
Jax climbed down the small ladder first. As I was on my second to last step, he held my waist and I jumped down. We both turned and started walking to down the hallway together. His hand curled around mine, holding it tightly. My fingers laid closely with his.
As we walked into the room full of bikers, they all stood. I gave Jax a kiss on the cheek and stood next to Unser and Phil, one of the new prospects, who were both holding Abel and Gracie.
The sons went into the room with Opie, and lifted his casket. Everyone around me lifted up their drinks. A small tear fell down my eye. I didn't even know him, but he did a lot for my family. He was one of the few people who believed in Jax and me. Who helped us escape this town. I just couldn't believe he was gone.
After the wake, I helped a few of the crow eaters clean up the clubhouse.
"It's okay, Julia. We got it. I don't think Jax will be happy if you help us. He's the president and you're his old lady," Amanda said, gathering beer bottles off the bar.
"It's okay. I have three kids. I have become a master of cleaning," I said with a chuckle and she laughed as well.
"You mind if I ask you a question?"
"It depends what the question is."
"You and Jax over?"
"Why do you ask?"
"A lot of the crow eaters have been trying to push up on him since you haven't been around lately. "
"Honestly, Amanda, I have no idea what we are."
"If it makes it any better, I like you two together. And he hasn't done anything with anyone. He's usually by himself when he isn't with the club."
Jax came from the small apartment in the clubhouse.
"The kids are down."
"thanks."
"You don't have to clean."
"It's okay. I don't mind helping."
"Uh, you can sleep in the room with the kids. I can crash out here."
"Okay. Just so you know, our flight back to New York tomorrow isn't till six at night. I figured you would want to spend time with the kids until we leave."
"Yeah, definitely. Maybe we can fit some time in for us?"
"I can't, actually. I have to talk to Felicia."
I bought some food into the kitchen. Jax looked at Amanda and followed me. I put the food on the counter and started wrapping it.
"This is how it's really going to be?"
"What do you mean?"
" Jules, come on. You know what I mean. I want to work on us. "
"Jax..."
"No, just listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"
"Jax, I know you're sorry."
" Then tell me, what can I do to fix this?"
"you know the answer to that already."
"I know. I want to come home, but I can't let the guy who caved in Opie's skull walk. I can't."
"I'm not asking you to."
" Jules, give me something, please. "
"I told you. I missed you. Everyday. And it pisses me off that I miss you. You know? I even save the voice mails that you leave. I have a feeling the recent messages you leave will be the last. Because I know. You won't come back. "
"Yes, I will."
"You don't see it. There will always be someone you want to take vengeance on in this town. It won't end. It will keep coming, even after Opie's killer is in the ground. Being the man that you are, you won't walk away."
"Jules, come on..."
He tried holding me. I started pushing him away.
"No, you can't fix this by holding me. We shouldn't fight reality anymore. You belong here. I belong in New York."
"What was all of that on the roof? Just feeling sorry for me, so you will say anything so I don't jump off a fucking bridge somewhere?"
"No. You will always have my heart, Jackson. I just accepted that me and you will never work. We shouldn't have to fight so hard if we were meant to be."
"Jules, we have overcome so much shit when we are together. If we aren't, it makes us weaker. It makes me weaker. It was supposed to be me in that box."
"What? Why are you talking like that?"
"I was going to go against those assholes in that room. I didn't have my wife, my kids anymore. What was the point to stay alive? But, Op stopped me."
My eyes started to water, Jax held my face, wiping my tears away with his thumbs.
"Don't give up on me."
He moved his face closer to me, and kissed me.