Ember Island did not hold the best memories for Zuko, although he remembers the times when he was little when he played in the sand with his cousin Lu Ten and Azula, now many of the memories that he had, held a more somber tone. They were now covered by the events of the past, instead of remembering the happy times when Lu Ten would make sandcastles with him, he only thought of how he would never be able to see him again. When picturing Azula and him playing in the sea together, it was only to be spoiled by his fathers need to show her as the favourite child, the prodigy that he could never compare to.
'She was born lucky; you were lucky to be born'.
Echos of the past plagued his mind as he walked down the abandoned hallways, cobwebs and dust settled upon everything except the footprints from him when he came to the island with Azula, Mai and Ty Lee.
Aang, Sokka and Toph curiously ran down the hallways ahead of him, knocking over antiques and family heirlooms, making a mess wherever they went. At one time, Zuko would have lectured them about the importance and cultural significance of the items to the Fire nations Royal family, but he was no longer apart of the Royal family, he hadn't been in over 3 years since his father burned and banished him on a wild goose chase.
There was a deafening crash down the hallway, followed by the loud swearing from the resident Earthbender, after rushing down the hall, Zuko looked around to see that in Toph's search thoughout the house, she had accidentally knocked over and completely shattered a mirror that used to be above a long hallway unit, spanning around 4 meters in total length. The immediate reaction from everyone else was to come to the noise of the crash, and they all crowded around the shattered mirror lying now in pieces along the wooden floors. They all stared at the floor silently, until Toph spoke up and broke the silence.
"Ahh shit, sorry Zuko, I was trying to hit Sokka with a ball that I found before, turns out that I don't have that great of an aim, but a lot of strength!" She grinned proudly at her accomplishment.
Zuko shrugged.
"I don't know why you are apologising to me".
"Well duh dude, it is your house." Sokka chimed in, trying to avoid stepping in the shards of glass
"I don't really care what you guys do to this house, as long as you don't burn it to the ground." The Firebender shrugged again.
"But you must at least care about this place!" Aang exclaimed, "Do you have any good memories here?"
"Not now"
"I hate to stop the conversation, but maybe we should get out of the glass covered hallway," Katara said with a concerned tone, "we could go outside and have dinner."
And just at the mention of food both Sokka and Toph ran out of the hallway, Suki and Aang were following close behind. Katara moved at a more leisurely pace as she looked back to Zuko who had not moved from his spot as he was still looking at the broken mirror shards.
"Are you coming." Katara asked snapping him to attention,
"Oh… uh"
"Come on, I need your help with chopping vegetables, because only Tui and La knows what would happen if I let Toph and Sokka cook!"
-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Dinner was the same as it normally was for everyone else, Suki and Sokka were holding hands almost the entire time (only exception was when they needed both hands to eat), Aang was telling the others about his achievements in firebending (as if they weren't there when it happened) and Toph was making snarky remarks the whole time. The only person who was acting differently was Zuko, when he used to talk with the others about things like firebending, theatre and turtle ducks, now he was completely silent and only gave one word answer to when he was directly spoken to.
Aang was starting to get really excited about the Firebending that he had been doing, so Katara suggested that he should show them some of the moves. The first few movements, Aang kicked the air and fuelled the fire to come out of his feet, he continued doing katas and routines with increasing power in the blasts. His firebending grew with the power and became more unstable, the rest of the gaang only had a few seconds of prior notice, Katara quickly threw up her hands and bent the soup leftover from dinner as a shield for the others to avoid the rouge fire blasts that followed.
Everyone in the group except Zuko, who was still silent and out of it, had moved from the area where they were eating to watch the firebending, Aang had failed to notice that Zuko was still over by the cooking fire and directed the fire blast into that direction. The soup bending shield could only go so far, so fast and Katara nor Toph could try to create a barrier for the fire, all they could hear was a blood curdling scream from their resident firebender. When the shield dropped all the gaang could see in the spot of where Zuko was sitting before was an upside down bowl of soup, a couple drops of dark red blood and a quickly disappearing flash of red and gold clothing, that was heading into the house.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-
The only prior warning that Zuko got to the giant blast of fire that Aang had created was the wave of heat, the fire blast that followed after came on his scarred side. He stuck his hands up in an attempt to block the blast, firebenders don't burn easily but with any flame that was hot enough, they would burn just the same as any other person. The flames curled around his arms and scorched away the skin as he screamed in bloody murder, feeling the pain that reminded him of 3 years ago in the Agni Kai.
The flames died down and he bolted out of the courtyard in pain, the others running to catch up to him as he ran through the hallways losing them in the many twists and turns that they didn't know. Finally, Zuko stopped running after noticing his feet were in pain and looked down to see the now bloodied, shattered mirror from before.
He had always tried to avoid looking at his reflection after the burn, he often couldn't bring himself to look at what that monster did to his face. On the boat, once he saw the angry, red scar for the first time, Zuko made an active attempt to avoid all mirrors but that could only go so far. Somedays, he would sit in a mirror and stare at his reflection for hours, trying to piece back together his face, covering up the mark so he could see him as a normal teenager. Today was one of those days, he looked down at the bloodied glass and stared at his face and the broken reflection that looked back. The tears started rolling down his face, only on the one side as his scar burned his tear duct closed, his eyes drifted down to his hands and arms, they were covered in burns from the fire blast and only started to hurt now that the firebender noticed them. His bare feet were cut and bloody from the mirror shards he had stepped in, both the injuries were bad, but Zuko has had worse, he has had much worse and had the scars to prove it.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-
It took the Gaang around 20 minutes to find Zuko crying on the floor surrounded my bloody glass (they really should have cleaned it up), they looked in utter shock as they had never seen the tough and brooding firebender crying and so vulnerable before. The first thing about this scene that took Katara's attention was the blood leaking from his cut bare feet and burnt hands, she started to move towards him slowly as not to spook him like a wild animal.
"Hey Zuko" she said softly, "do you mind if I come closer?"
The response that she got was minimal, but the firebender gave a small and almost missable nod. Katara swiped a bit of glass away and sat down next to him.
"Are you okay?" She asked in an even softer tone of voice.
Zuko looked up slowly at her, wiping away tears and mumbled something that she was unable to understand.
"Could you repeat that please?"
"S-sorry, I am fine. I just h-hate looking at my reflection" he again mumbled, but loud enough for her to hear.
"Do you want to come with me, so I can heal you?"
"S-sure", slowly he got up with her and carefully tread over the glass with his cut feet.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-
The walk back to the courtyard was painfully slow, as Zuko was struggling to walk and anytime someone tried to help he would flinch at their touch. They got back to the courtyard and Katara started to heal his feet first, silence feel upon everyone.
Sokka was the first to speak up.
"Did you not notice that you had turned in to the glass covered hallway?" That question earned him a punch in the side from Toph.
"Oh… uh, yeah kind of, I didn't realise until I walked on it".
"That was kinda stupid of you" Sokka exclaimed jokingly, and yet again got a punch in the side from Toph.
Katara took a deep breath as she finished healing his feet, she rose from her kneeling position that she was sat in to heal Zuko and started to walk around the courtyard to stretch her legs. After a couple of minutes, she sat down again and covered her hands in water that started to glow.
"Alright, hands out" she commanded, Zuko pulled his arms out automatically and winced as he did so, which was quickly explained by the injury itself. The burns extended from his hands down to his arms, they were covered in dry, crusted blood and were obviously very painful, Sokka didn't know how the firebender wasn't screaming out in pain at any movement.
"Spirits Aang, you packed a lot in that fire blast" Katara noted, looking at the horrified airbender.
"I am so sorry, Zuko. I should have been more cautious and had better control and focused mor-"
"It's fine, Aang. Accidents happen, just be grateful it was me you burned" the ex-prince said softly.
"What do you mean by that?" Aang asked curiously.
"Firebenders don't as burn easily."
Before anything could be expanded from Katara let out an audible gasp that drew the attention of the group and drew even more attention to the many burn scars that wrapped around Zuko's arms.
"Oh, my spirits Zuko, I am so sorry, my healing must be not working properly, or I messed something up, because your arms are now covered in scars and-" she stopped to breath but was interrupted by her freshly healed patient.
"Oh, um yeah, don't worry about those, they were there before today."
"What?!"
At that, the firebender lifted his shirt to show hundreds of scars from burns, cuts and stabs wounds. The gaang looked mortified that the sight of the scars that covered his body, the most horrified being Aang.
"Oh my spirits Zuko, I-"
"It's okay, my father gave me most of them including this one" he pointed at the scar on his face. "It could have been worse, than it was. The only thing now that bothers me about it is that I can't look at my reflection."
"Your father gave you that?! What do you mean you can't look at your reflection?"
"Yeah, I got this from speaking out in a war meeting, it was against a plan to sacrifice a legion of soldiers. My father made me fight an 'Agni Kai' and he burned and banished me after I refused
to fight."
Katara looked shocked, "Zuko, I am so sorry that he did that to you, you didn't deserve that."
Zuko look at the faces of his teammates, seeing the horror that crossed their faces and he met them with confusion.
"You guys, didn't know about my scar"
A chorus of "NO!" erupted from the group, suddenly they all simultaneously decided to hug the living soul out of him, half strangling him with love.
"You guys need to ease up a bit", the ex-prince choked out before they increased the pressure of the hug even more.
Mmmmmm... Mmmmmmmmm... Mm mm... Mm.. M.. M.
I'm so bored!!!" Toph whined.
"Me too!" Sokka groaned. "Isn't there anything we can do?"
Katara smirked, "You could always help Suki and I with the dishes."
"Pass." Momo hopped into Sokka's lap. "I wanna do something fun."
"We could go to the beach?" Aang suggested.
"It's too hot for the beach." Suki set down the plate she had been scrubbing. "But believe it or not, I actually agree with Sokka. We should do something fun."
"Zuko you're the one who's spent the most time here." Katara turned to him. "Any ideas?"
He shrugged, "I don't know… Azula, Lu Ten, and I mostly spent our time at the beach when we came on vacation. Although I did always enjoy walking around the market. They have a variety of food stalls set up in the courtyard."
"That sounds kind of fun." Toph smiled, "I do love food!"
"All I care about is what kind of meat they serve!" Sokka started drooling, "I wonder if they'll have any Platypus Bear?"
"Who's Lu Ten?" Aang asked out of curiosity.
"He's uh…" Zuko turned away, "He's my cousin…"
"I didn't know the general had a son," Katara noted.
"Yeah…" Zuko remained quiet.
~line break~
"Wow! This place is pretty cool!" Toph and the others explored the different shops.
"Look! They have a boomerang shop!" Sokka started jumping up and down as he dragged Suki inside.
"Sweet! They have a vegetarian stall!" Aang grinned.
They all continued to walk around the market, each getting food from one of the different stalls. After a while, they took a seat under a grouping of trees and watched as people passed by.
"Hey mister, are you in the show?" Zuko looked up and saw a little boy standing in front of him.
"What show?" he questioned.
"The one with the Ember Island Players." He clarified.
"Oh, you mean the Avatar show?" Sokka asked, "We went to see it."
He shook his head, "No they finished that one a couple nights ago. Now they've got a new show. So, are you in it?"
"No," he said gruffly.
"Oh, ok then. Nice costume. But the scar's on the wrong side. Bye!" he then ran off.
"It's not on the wrong side!" he yelled after him.
"So, they made another show?" Katara groaned, "I wonder what it's about?"
Toph laughed, "Sparky's in it, so it must have something to do with the Fire Nation."
Sokka snorted, "I wonder if it's as bad as the last one…"
"We should go watch it." They all turned to Aang as if he was crazy. "What? We have nothing better to do! And sure, the last one was bad, but in the end, we were able to look back at it and laugh. It could be fun!"
"I did enjoy watching Sokka, 'tear bend'." Suki teased.
"Oh, I wonder if I'm in it!" Toph grinned, "That guy they got to play me was so cool!!!"
Zuko crossed his arms, "I'm not going."
"Oh, come on!" Sokka begged, "Don't be a party pooper! Let's go and have a laugh! We can make fun of how bad it is!"
"Sokka's right." Katara added, "As long as we don't take the play too seriously, it could be kind of fun."
He let out a sigh, "Fine…"
~line break~
"Ladies and Gentlemen! Thank you for coming tonight! We have a special new show for you that we are sure you are going to love. Please give a round of applause for the Ember Island Players as they act out 'The History of the Royal Family"
Zuko's eye's widened, "Oh shi…" he was interrupted by applause.
"Oh Ozai, how I love you so!" a woman in heavy makeup ran up to a large throne. "I am so blessed to have given birth to your two children."
Aang chuckled, "Is that supposed to be your mom?" Zuko didn't respond.
"Come children!" The woman continued. "Come see your father!"
Two kids ran onto the stage. "Daddy look at me!" the girl performed a perfect back flip and threw ribbons from her hands, representing fire.
"Very good Azula. I'm very proud of your progress." Ozai smiled.
"Look at me dad!" this time, the boy tried to perform the same move, however, he tripped and got tangled in his ribbons.
The whole theater started laughing. "Looks like you were a bit of a clutz." Katara pointed out light-heartedly.
Once again, Zuko didn't respond, instead focusing on Ozai's response.
"You are a disgrace!" he boomed. "How is it, that Azula, your younger sister, has surpassed you in every way?!"
"I am sorry father," the boy bowed, "It won't happen again."
"Oh… it will…" he said menacingly as the scene changed.
"Oh, Fire Lord Azulon, would you like some tea?"
"Ugh!" Ozai turned to his wife, "My brother is an idiot. If only I was next line…"
"Iroh." Everyone went silent as Azulon spoke, "I want you and your son, Lu Ten to capture Ba Sing Se. After this victory, nothing else will stand in the way of the Fire Nation."
"Yes, father." The scene changed once more.
Now, there were four children playing near a fountain. "Ha! Look! Zuko has a crush on Mei!"
"Do not!"
"Do to!"
Do not!"
"Do to!"
"Children." Ursa walked into the scene. "A great tragedy as befallen our family. Prince Lu Ten has perished in Ba Sing Se. Because of this, your uncle made a cowardly retreat and is on his way home."
"Wait, your cousin died?" Suki asked sadly.
"Yeah…" Zuko turned away. he really did not want to be here right now.
Now, Ozai was in the hall of Fire Lord Azulon. "Father, I ask that you make me the heir to the throne. Iroh's bloodline has been snuffed out, while my two children are still perfectly healthy."
"How dare you ask me to betray my firstborn after he has just lost his only son!" he boomed. "For such disrespect, you must too feel his pain! You must kill your firstborn!"
The Gaang gasped while everyone else in the theater treated it as normal. Ozai shrugged, "That sounds fair."
"No!" Ursa ran onto the stage. "We mustn't kill Zuko! While he may be weak, pathetic, and useless, he is still our son! I have another idea!" she went up to Azulon and suddenly stabbed him with a sword.
"And now I am Fire Lord!" Ozai cheered as Ursa handed him the crown, "And my first command as Fire Lord is banishing you. Bye-bye."
"What?!" suddenly, she fell through a trap door.
"We shall now be taking a fifteen-minute intermission."
"That… that's horrible!" Aang said in shock as they stood up to stretch their legs.
"Can we leave?" Zuko had a sneaking suspicion he knew what was coming next.
"Oh, come on! You watched them butcher our life story last time!" Toph pointed out. "So, we should get to watch yours!" he sighed, there was no getting out of this.
~line break~
The curtains opened again, while an older Zuko and Iroh stood outside a door. "Please uncle, I am so worthless to my father, the least I can do is learn how a war meeting is done!"
"Fine Prince Zuko." He put a hand on his shoulder. "But no talking."
Zuko's knee started shaking. This couldn't be happening…
"And so, I suggest this group of new recruits be sent to the walls of this Earth Kingdom city. I am sure that they will win because they are so well trained, but just in case we shall have an older battalion on standby."
Zuko stood up, "That's a stupid plan, old man!"
"Zuko?" they all looked over at him as he continued shaking.
"Th…that's not how it happened…" he mumbled.
Suddenly, Ozai stepped into the scene "You insolent child! You shall learn respect! And suffering shall be your teacher!"
Zuko quickly got up and rushed out of the theater. "Zuko?" they moved to follow him.
"Bring it old man!" the onstage Zuko yelled. "I can take you any day!" he threw ribbons towards Ozai but missed.
"We'll see about that…" Ozai thrust his hand forward, and red ribbons flew toward Zuko's face. The actor screamed as the whole audience cheered.
"Zuko's dad… gave him his scar…" they were in complete shock.
"Come on," Aang led them out of the theater. "We need to find Zuko…"
~line break~
After a lot of searching, they finally found sitting on the pier, looking out at the water.
"Zuko?" Katara asked with concern.
He didn't meet their eyes, "Go away."
"I'm so sorry," Sokka and the others sat down around him, "We shouldn't have made you go to that stupid play."
"Yeah, sorry Sparky…" Toph hung her head.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Suki asked gently.
"No." he remained focused on the water.
"We don't judge you for acting out in the meeting." Aang tried to comfort him. "You were a kid, kids misbehave."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!" Zuko exploded. "I wasn't acting out! The general wanted to send a battalion of new, untrained recruits to the front lines to act as a distraction! He knew that they would be killed, but he didn't care!"
"Wait really?!" Their eyes widened.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "He was going to let them die… and no one was saying anything about it. I couldn't let that happen… So, I told him that what he was planning to do was murder. He didn't like being told what to do by a thirteen-year-old kid. For my disrespect, I was forced to fight an Agni Kai."
"What's an Agni Kai?" Toph asked quietly.
"It's a fire bending duel." He replied. "Two fire benders are put in a ring and fight to the death."
"WHAT?!" they all gasped.
"I thought I would be fighting the general…" Zuko sat back down, with a look of defeat. "But when I got to the ring… my father was waiting for me… I had disrespected one of his generals, so in turn, I had disrespected him. I refused to fight, I got on my knees and begged for mercy. Instead… well… you can see the results…"
No one spoke. It was as if they had completely forgotten how to form words.
"After that," Zuko continued, "I was given a mission. I was not allowed to go home until I had captured the Avatar. At the time, you hadn't been seen for a hundred years, so I might as well have been banished. But then… you showed up… and I suppose you know the rest… I'm sorry I chased you for so long…"
"Oh Zuko…" they all wrapped him in a hug.
"You just wanted to go home…" Aang murmured.
"I'm sorry we treated you so horribly when you first got here." Katara added, "We didn't know…"
He shook his head, "I deserved it… I've done so many bad things throughout my life…"
"Stop that…" Toph lightly punched his arm. "What your dad did to you was wrong. You were trying to help people, but you got punished for it. He's a monster!"
"Next time we see him, I've got a boomerang with his name on it!" Sokka grinned.
Zuko gave him a small chuckle, "Thanks Sokka…"
"You're part of the group now." Suki smiled at him, "We take care of our own."
"Thanks…" he gave them a smile, "That… means a lot… I've never really had friends before…"
"Well now you've got, four!" Toph grinned, "Oh and Sokka's here too I guess…"
"HEY!" they all laughed as the two started arguing with each other. Zuko couldn't help but smile, this was nice…
Mmmmmm. M.. M. M.. M..
When Zuko woke up that morning, he knew immediately that today was going to be a bad day. His scar was throbbing, and it felt itchier than normal. He hated days like this. When this would happen back on the ship, he would lock himself in his room all day and wouldn't come out until the next morning. He wouldn't let anyone see him; he didn't want to feel like they were constantly judging him on his appearance. Not on these days…
Sometimes, Zuko had good and bad days with his scar. On good days, he could go the whole day without thinking about it. He would almost forget that he had it at all. Unfortunately, the good days were few and far between. One dirty look from a passerby, and he would spiral back into self-hatred. He was hideous, and he knew it. And it was on the bad days that this was most prominent.
On bad days, Zuko could feel his scar, without ever touching it. He would wake up, and the left side of his face would be burning up and puffy. He had an urge to scrape at the rough and calloused skin, one that would only lead to scratching himself, which would only make it more painful. Most days, Zuko had poor vision in his left eye, however, on days like this, everything looked blurry. Paired with his perfect vision in the other eye, this would cause him to have severe migraines. His hearing would also get messed up. It sounded like he was under water, and noises came in in drowned out waves. All of this combined made him truly hate himself. It was days like this, that he wished his father had just killed up…
Zuko ungracefully rolled out of bed. After Azula's attack, they had moved to the Ember Islands. Zuko would have rather not left his room at all, but he needed to at least tell Aang to work on some exercises while he was out of commission. Just because he wasn't good enough, didn't mean that he had to drag everyone else down…
When Zuko walked outside, it felt like the sun was focusing all of its energy on one half of his face. "Good morning Sifu Hotman!" Aang greeted from his place around the campfire.
"Hey Zuko!" they all greeted him in varying ways.
Zuko winced a bit as he neared the fire but made his way over to Aang. "I uh… I'm sorry but, I won't be able to train with you today. Just… do 30 hot squats when you hear a boar frog and do 20 basic flame blasts every time a turtle duck lands in the fountain. Aang groaned.
Zuko was about to walk away when Katara caught his arm, "You ok Zuko? You seem kinda out of it."
"Yeah he looks kind of off." Toph added.
"Toph's right, he doesn't look right," it took a moment, but Sokka quickly realized his mistake. "I hate you." She just giggled.
"Did you burn yourself?" Suki asked with concern. "Your scar… it looks… puffy…"
"I'm fine!" he growled before storming off back to his room. Finally, some peace and quiet.
"I think something's wrong with Zuko." Aang commented one the fire bender had left.
Suki nodded, "Yeah… he seemed really sad.
"And his scar looked… off… Like, it was really red and agitated." Katara added.
Toph shrugged, "It looked about the same to me."
Sokka glared at her, "Hush you, I've already fallen for your trap once today, I refuse to do it again.
"Maybe we should go check on him." Aang suggested. "He obviously isn't feeling well, we should try to do something to make him feel better."
"He probably just wants to be left along Twinkle Toes." Toph informed.
"He shouldn't be alone right now." Katara agreed with Aang. "Zuko's our friend now, we should do something to help him."
"But what can cheer up an angsty fire bender?" Sokka asked.
"Oh! I know!" Suki pulled out a poster from her bag. "I saw this in town today, I thought maybe we could all go!"
"A beach party? That sounds fun!" Aang said after reading the flyer.
"Good food, games, music, sounds like my kind of party!" Sokka said practically drooling.
"That should totally cheer Zuko up!" Katara said grinning. "Let's go tell him!"
"Sparky is going to be so excited!" Toph said with a smile.
"No!" he said through the door.
They were all confused, "Can we at least come in for a second?" Katara asked gently.
"No!" he yelled again.
"I got this…" Toph reached out towards the metal doorknob. She bended out of the hole, so now the door swung open freely.
When they walked in, they saw Zuko lying in bed, curled in on himself. "I told you not to come in." He said glaring at them.
"Oops…" Toph said with a shrug.
"Zuko, tell us what's wrong." Katara pleaded. "Then maybe we can fix it."
"There's no fixing it…" He said quietly.
"What was that?" Sokka asked not hearing him.
"There's no fixing it!" he stood up quickly. "There's no fixing it because there's no fixing me! I'm a monster and there's nothing anyone can do to change that! So please, just leave me alone!"
"Zuko, you're not a monster…" Toph said quietly.
"You would say that…" he slumped back on the bed, "But if you could see what I really looked like… you would say otherwise…"
"Zuko, where is this coming from?" Suki asked gently.
"I…" he sighed, and gently ran a hand across his scar. "I'm sorry I yelled at you guys. It's just… some days I wake up… not feeling right. I just… my scar hurts more than normal, and it reminds me how different I look from everyone else. On days like today, I just like to keep to myself. I'm sorry if that messes up your plans. Go enjoy the party without me, I would just drag you down anyway…"
Not knowing what else to say, they quietly left his room, Toph relocking the door behind them.
"That's so sad…" Suki said glumly.
"He shouldn't be alone right now." Aang said firmly. "No one should be alone when they're having a bad day."
"But how do we get him to come to the party with us?" Katara asked.
"Bribery?" Toph suggested, but they just shook their heads.
"Wait…" Sokka put a hand to his chin. "Zuko was sad because he said he looked different from everyone right?" they nodded, "Well, what if we all looked the same?!" they all looked at him with confusion. "Here, let me explain…
Zuko was laying in bed, when suddenly the door opened again. "Look, I appreciate you all wanting to make me feel better but…" suddenly, a blast of air knocked him to the ground. Before he could get up, a blindfold was wrapped over his eyes, and a rope bound his hands behind his back. "What are you…" he was pushed forward. He could have easily fought back, but he feared hurting the person leading him along.
Judging by the distance they had walked, and the change in his surroundings. They were nearing the beach. "Look, I know you all wanted me to go to this beach party, but I'm really not feeling up to it today…" suddenly, the blindfold was removed. He looked around but didn't see a pig party like he expected.
There was a small campfire set up, and several torches strewn around the sand to give the area some light. Food was set up on a table on the side with some benches scattered around it. there was even a volleyball net set up. "Has the party not started yet?"
"It started a couple hours ago." Suki said from behind him as she untied the rope.
"This is our own private party." Aang said over his shoulder. "We found a more secluded part of the beach to set it up."
Zuko sighed, "Look I appreciate the gesture but…" he turned around. "What did you do to your faces?"
"What do you mean?" Katara asked with feigned confusion.
Zuko rolled his eyes, they all taken red paint and covered one half of their faces. Even Appa and Momo were sporting paint stains. "What'd you do that for?"
"You said that you were sad because you felt different." Toph said quietly and his eyes widened.
"We didn't want you to feel left out." Sokka continued, "So now, we all look the same."
"You… did all of this for me?" he said with surprise.
"Well sure!" Aang said with a grin. "You're our friend. We didn't want you to be left out of the fun."
"I…" he gave them a small smile. "Thank you…"
The rest of the evening they enjoyed playing party games, eating barbeque, and dancing to music from the tsungi horn. Apparently, it was one of Suki's hidden talents. Zuko didn't think about his scar the rest of the evening. Instead, he enjoyed himself with his friends. Finally realizing, that he wasn't so different from them after all…
Μmmmm... Mm... Mm... M... Mm... Mm
If you won't accept me as a friend, then maybe you'll take me as a prisoner."
Zuko knelt and raised his hands above his head, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. He heard Katara take an angry breath, but before the waterbender could speak someone else interrupted.
"Okay!"
An instant later, Zuko felt metal shaping into cuffs around his hands. His head jerked up, and he saw the small Earth kingdom girl (Toph?) clench her hand in a fist. At the same time, the metal around his hands fused together.
Metalbending? Was that even possible?
His thoughts were quickly diverted elsewhere, though, as Katara started yelling.
"What do you think you're doing, Toph? We can't keep him with us!"
"Why not?"
"You weren't there when he chased us all over the world, so maybe you don't understand, but we can't trust him! He and his whole family are evil, and a few pretty words and apologies don't change that."
Zuko barely kept himself from flinching. He wanted to speak up and argue that his uncle wasn't evil and that he was trying not to be, but he kept his mouth shut. He was in their power now, and he didn't need to give Katara or anyone else a reason to lash out.
"I'm not an idiot, Katara. I know he chased you, but unless you all have forgotten, I can sense when people tell lies. And he wasn't lying."
"Maybe he's like Azula," Sokka cut in, a frown on his face. "You weren't able to sense when she lied."
"Exactly, we can't trust him!"
Toph rolled her eyes. As Zuko looked closer, he realized they were milky white. Was she blind?
"Do you really think someone who introduced themself with 'Hello, Zuko here,' is a good enough actor to fool me?"
The Avatar nodded slowly. "She has a point..."
In any other situation, Zuko would have been insulted. He knew his introduction had been clumsy, but he could act when he needed to! He had been the crown prince, for Agni's sake! And he had fooled plenty of people before!
He took a breath and tuned back into the conversation.
"Lying or not, he's dangerous," Katara insisted. "Having him here can only make things worse for us."
"Listen, princess." Toph sounded angry now, and Zuko found himself grateful that anger wasn't directed at him. Yet. "Even if Sparky here is plotting something, isn't it better to have him close so we can keep an eye on him? You know, like that stupid saying."
"The enemy of my enemy is my friend?" Sokka offered.
"No, dunderhead, the other one."
"Oh! Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!"
"Yeah, that."
Katara glared at both of them before turning her withering gaze to him. He lowered his eyes, doing his best to appear non-threatening. Her anger and mistrust were more than justified, and even though it frustrated him that she wouldn't let him teach firebending to the Avatar, he understood. He deserved any punishment she could come up with and more.
She glared at him for so long he thought she might burn a hole through his head, but eventually she ripped her gaze away and turned to the Avatar. "I don't like the idea of him being here, but it's up to you, Aang. What should we do with him?"
It was fitting that his fate would end up in the Avatar's hands.
He kept his gaze averted as the Avatar approached and held still as his eyes roamed over him. He was a banished prince twice over, a traitor to his nation, and no doubt everyone in the Earth Kingdom knew his face now. If the Avatar kicked him out, he had nowhere to go.
Finally, he stepped back. "I don't like keeping a person as a prisoner, but it seems like our best option."
"Don't worry, Twinkletoes, I'll keep an eye on him."
"Toph, you can't see."
The earthbender didn't reply. Instead, she turned back to Zuko and hauled him to his feet. For someone so small, she was deceptively strong. He felt the eyes of the rest of the group on him as she led him away, deeper into the temple, and a small, irrational part of him wondered if she was taking him away to kill him. Maybe all that argument had been a show for his sake, and now they were finally going to get rid of him like they had no doubt been wishing they could do.
"Calm down, Sparky, I can hear your heartbeat racing."
He drew a sharp breath of air, suddenly aware of how quickly his heart was beating.
Toph stopped and turned to him. "I'm serious. I know you're our prisoner or whatever, but I only suggested that so Katara wouldn't waterbend you off the cliff. I believe you when you say you want to help."
Zuko had no response to that. He hadn't really expected any of them to trust him, but then again, Toph hadn't been with the rest of them when he was chasing them. Maybe she just didn't know the things he'd done. His uncle would tell him not to look a gift ostrich-horse in the mouth, though.
Toph started walking again, and a little while later they arrived at a small room.
"Alright, this will be your room. Or cell. Or whatever. I'm going to earthbend the door closed, but there are windows at the top so you won't suffocate or anything. And if something's wrong, tap the ground three times. I'll know."
Zuko blinked in confusion, and that confusion only grew when the cuffs on his hands fell away.
"Aren't you worried I'll try and escape?"
Toph turned back to him. "Will you?"
"No. I surrendered myself."
"Exactly. Besides, you'd be a dunderhead to try. I'm the greatest earthbender in the world, and I'd wipe the floor with you!"
As much as he trusted his own skills, Zuko didn't doubt it.
"I am going to take your swords and stuff, though. Katara needs them for emotional security."
Zuko shrugged off his dao and pack, handing them to the earthbender. He honestly had no idea what was happening right now, and it seemed safer to just go with the flow.
"Okay. I'll be back at dinner to get you."
With that, she turned away and walked through the open door. She stomped once as she passed the doorway, and a wall of rock came up behind her to seal him in.
He scanned the room, taking in the light stone, the tile on the left wall, and the narrow windows near the ceiling that let in the afternoon sun. After a moment, he took a deep breath and sat in one of the beams of light, settling into a meditative pose.
. . .
The rumbling of the ground drew him from his meditation several hours later. He opened his eyes to see Toph and the Water Tribe boy, Sokka, step into the room. He watched them warily, staying seated as they crossed the small space.
"You didn't leave the handcuffs on? What if he did some jerkbending and busted out?" Sokka asked. His arms flailed as he talked, and it would have been funny if not for…everything.
"Well, he didn't do that, did he? You're all so paranoid." Toph rolled her eyes and turned fully to him. "Okay, Katara will lose her mind if you're not cuffed, so arms out Sparky."
Zuko blinked once before extending his hands. As he watched, Toph pulled out a lump of metal and bent it into the shape of handcuffs. She snapped them closed around his wrists, loose enough that they didn't bite into his skin. Huh, considerate.
Sokka watched the bending with wide eyes. "You are so cool for inventing metalbending,"
From the smirk on Toph's face, Zuko figured this was a conversation they had had before. "I'm the coolest," she declared, and Sokka made a noise of agreement, his eyes still trained on the recently-bent cuffs.
Then, Sokka shook his head. "Alright, we should get back to the others. I'm supposed to help Katara with the tea."
Toph groaned. "You? No offense, but your tea is awful."
They started walking out of the room, Toph pulling Zuko along. Except she wasn't really pulling so much as guiding. Zuko never tripped or stumbled from being yanked unexpectedly. Weird.
"Actually, I do take offense to that! My tea skills have improved over the last few months, thank you very much."
"That doesn't mean much when your tea was more like sludge a few months ago."
"Hey!"
They continued to bicker all the way back to the courtyard where the others had set up a small fire and were gathered for food. There was more than just the Avatar's group around the fire, Zuko noticed. There was also a teenager in an Earth Kingdom uniform, a boy in a wheelchair, and a very small child. Where in Agni's name did the Avatar find all these people? What were they doing here? Was the Avatar running a preschool?
He kept his questions to himself and trained his eyes on the ground as they got closer and the group noticed them. He felt eyes on him, judging and curious. He looked away. What were they thinking? Were they proud? They'd captured the banished prince and had him at their mercy.
Toph came to a stop a few paces away from the group. "Where do you want Sparky to sit?"
The question was addressed to Katara rather than to the Avatar who sat nearby. Strange. Why didn't the Avatar make the decisions for the group? He was the most powerful of all of them and could easily make them do what he wanted. Maybe he just didn't care what happened to Zuko.
"Put him near that pillar. I don't want him with us," she answered, not bothering to turn to look their way.
Toph shrugged and led the way to the pillar. Zuko sat, and Toph kneeled in front of him. "I'm going to rebend your cuffs so that you can actually eat."
True to her word, a few moments later, she had changed the shape of the cuffs so that there was a chain connecting the two. It was long enough to give him the range of motion he needed to eat properly. It was also long enough that he could easily strangle someone. Either Toph was stupid, or she really wasn't scared of him, and he doubted she was stupid.
He stayed quiet as the group finished cooking and Katara began to serve soup to everyone, bending it into bowls and passing them around the fire. As she worked, the group talked, the Avatar sharing a story about what the temple had been like a hundred years ago, the kid in the wheelchair commenting on a room he had found when exploring earlier that day, and Sokka gesturing widely as he recounted a story from home. Something about sledding?
Eventually, Katara walked over to him. He could feel her glare on him, but he kept his eyes down as she shoved a bowl of soup into his hands. It sloshed over the side, but Zuko bowed his head lower in thanks anyway. He was...surprised that they were feeding him the same thing everyone else was eating. Prisoners rarely ate as well as their captors. But maybe making him something worse would have taken too much time and resources. The group was doing well, but even from here he could see that everyone was a little skinnier than they should be.
He was halfway through his bowl of soup when a rumble shook the temple. He looked up to see the Avatar and his friends jumping into fighting stances around the fire, Sokka and Toph moving in front of the non-combatants. They all scanned the temple and surrounding areas for the source of the shaking and almost as one, they found it.
Zuko resisted the urge to groan.
"It's Combustion Man! He's found us!" the Avatar yelled, pulling out his staff and holding it in front of him defensively. "Haru, take Teo and The Duke deeper into the temple. He's here for me."
The teenager in the Earth Kingdom uniform nodded and the kid in the wheelchair and the child followed him deeper into the temple as another blast shook the rocks around them.
"When Toph hit that weird eye of his with a rock last time, his blast seemed to backfire," Sokka said as the group scrambled for cover from the next blast. Tucked away near the pillar as he was, Zuko was safe for now, but he still pushed himself to his feet. Chained or not, he wasn't just going to sit there and die.
As if Toph had heard his thoughts, the shackles around his hands fell away. He looked at the earthbender in surprise, but she didn't even turn to him. The Avatar and his friends continued to discuss strategy, and Zuko slipped into the shadows. If he could get to the assassin, maybe he could convince him to drop his hunt.
His feet carried him through a few hallways that skirted the back of the cliff and wound upward to the ledge where the assassin stood. He was to the right and could just make out the man's shape. He was still sending explosions toward the Avatar's group, sending them scrambling for cover every time they tried to attack. Below, Zuko could see the glint of something metal, like that boomerang Sokka always seemed to carry.
If he could just distract the assassin long enough...
Zuko stepped out behind his cover and strode toward the assassin, putting on his best Prince of the Fire Nation attitude as he walked. "Stop! I don't want you hunting the Avatar anymore!" The assassin made no indication that he heard him, so he stepped closer. "The mission is off. I'm ordering you to stop."
The assassin turned to him then, but before relief could take over, he shoved Zuko out of the way and sent another blast hurtling toward the temple.
Zuko caught himself from his stumble and shifted into a fighting stance. Did this man not understand how employment worked? "If you keep attacking, I won't pay you!"
The assassin turned back toward him and took a breath like he was preparing to attack. Before he could, Zuko struck out with a burst of flame, which threw the assassin off balance long enough for him to send another burst straight at the man's face. The assassin dodged and took a breath, firing a burst of energy into the cliff above them.
Why...? Then, the rocks above began to groan, and Zuko jumped. He moved a second too late. The rocks came crashing down, narrowly avoiding cracking his head open. As it was, his legs were pinned, and there was no way he'd be able to get out in time to avoid another blast. He took a steadying breath, readying himself to deal whatever damage was possible, but the assassin turned away from him, his focus once again on the Avatar and his group.
Some hero Zuko was turning out to be.
Then, he saw something on the edge of his vision, blurry and gleaming. Boomerang. He shot a blast of fire in front of the assassin's face, hoping to disorient him long enough for the weapon to find its mark. Sure enough, the boomerang struck an instant later, and the assassin stumbled back, gripping his forehead. A smirk pulled at Zuko's lips as he watched the man flounder, but his satisfaction quickly turned to fear as the assassin tried to fire a blast only for it to backfire and explode the rocks around him. The rocks that Zuko was currently pinned to.
His arms flailed as the ledge began to give way, but there was nothing for him to grab hold of. Distantly, he heard a rush of wind, and then he was falling into the chasm below.
Until he wasn't.
He had been falling, but then he had collided with something...soft? He forced his eyes open (when had he closed them?) and found himself sprawled in the saddle of the Avatar's skybison. The beast lowed beneath him, the sound echoing through the canyon, and for an instant Zuko feared it would roll and dump him over the side. Instead, the skybison began flying upward and landed in the partially-destroyed courtyard where they had been fighting.
Zuko stumbled to his feet and dismounted, barely holding back a wince as he landed on his feet. He had injured his ankle when he was buried under all of those rocks. Thankfully, it didn't feel broken.
He was so focused on staying upright and taking stock of his injuries that he didn't notice Toph approaching until her fist made contact with his arm. "Way to go, Sparky!"
"Hey, my boomerang was the one that took Combustion Man down, why don't I get a congratulations?" Sokka protested.
"Because all you had to do was throw it and hide behind the wall again. Zuko actually fought him."
Zuko scratched his head, unsure of how to respond. He figured they would shackle him again, but the earthbender made no move to do so, and the others seemed to have forgotten about it for the moment.
Maybe it was best if he just stood there and didn't say anything.
"Zuko was a big help," the Avatar agreed. "He gave Sokka the opening he needed. But boomerang played a very important role."
"Thank you, Aang. I'm glad someone appreciates my talents."
From the back of the group, Katara spoke up, her voice cutting through the noise. "Why didn't you run away?"
The question was obviously directed at him. So much for standing there and not saying anything. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. Maybe this time he could get it right.
"Listen, I know I didn't explain myself very well earlier; I've been through a lot in the last few years, and it's been hard. But I'm realizing that I had to go through all those things to learn the truth. I thought I had lost my honor, and that somehow my father could return it to me. But I know now that no one can give you your honor. It's something you earn for yourself, by choosing to do what's right. I haven't always done that, and a lot of my choices have hurt the people I care about, like my uncle. All I want to do now is play my part in ending this war, and I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world."
Had he really said that out loud? The questioning gazes that suddenly turned toward him told him that he had, and he resisted the urge to flinch. He had revealed yet another weakness to these people, yet another reason he was unfit to teach the Avatar. Who would want a mentor that had been kicked out of his own nation twice, who had taken so long to learn such a simple lesson?
Before he could spiral any further, Toph knocked against his arm again. He blinked back into awareness to hear the Avatar saying,
"He helped defeat Combustion Man, Katara." The waterbender didn't respond except to cross her arms, but that didn't deter the Avatar. "Zuko, I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher. When I first tried to learn firebending, I burned Katara, and after that, I never wanted to firebend again." The Avatar's eyes grew sad, and he glanced down. "But now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people you love. I'd like you to teach me." He bowed, making the sign of the flame.
Zuko, stunned, took a few seconds to copy the bow.
"Thank you. I am honored to teach the Avatar."
"You can call me Aang, you know," the Avat--Aang said with a grin. "But I have to make sure everyone else is okay with you staying."
Aang turned back to the group. "Guys?"
"I've wanted him here the whole time, Twinkle Toes. It's not like we're going to find you a better teacher any time soon," was Toph's reply. It was blunt and honest, and Zuko appreciated it.
Sokka shurgged. "I can't say I trust him completely, but Toph's right. All I want to do is defeat the Firelord. If this is how you want to do it, fine by me."
Finally, Aang turned to Katara. "Katara?"
She narrowed her eyes. "I don't trust him, and I don't think I ever will. But if this is what you think is right, I'll follow your lead."
Aang's face split into a blinding grin, and suddenly Zuko was reminded just how young the Avatar was. Barely more than a child, really, and he had chased him around the world for a fantasy.
Zuko bowed to the group. "I won't let you down, I promise."
As he straightened from his bow, his ankle twinged in pain. One more weakness to hide.
. . .
Time passed. The group began to warm to him, although not by much. He still sat apart from them at dinner and retreated to his own room whenever he could, but Toph and Aang both spoke to him simply to have conversations, which was both very weird and kind of nice. Katara still looked at him like she wanted him dead, but he didn't begrudge her that. He'd want himself dead, too. Sokka and he hadn't spoken much, but they had sparred a few times. He was a good fighter, unconventional in a way Uncle would appreciate.
Then, when he had finally started to teach Aang, his fire had gone out. Just. Gone. It was like his body was warring with his mind was warring with his soul, like in Ba Sing Se but without the fever. He had panicked and was just about ready to toss himself off the cliffside for being such an incredible failure when Toph had mentioned the original source of firebending.
And then he wanted to toss himself off the cliff even more.
Of course his family had been the ones to kill the original firebenders. It was like his ancestry was mocking him for even bothering to try to be on the side of good. But Aang wasn't so easily dissuaded, so they set off on a fieldtrip.
They met dragons. They learned to firebend in ways Zuko had never imagined, and something other than anger took up root in his chest. He didn't dare name it aloud for fear of losing what little good he had in his life, but in the quiet of his mind he called it hope.
So his life continued. He still wasn't good, still wasn't doing enough, but it was a start.
. . .
When Sokka approached him and asked about the Fire Nation's worst prisons, he figured it was a trick, some kind of trap to prove how awful his nation is and that there's no point in trying to save it. (Zuko wondered about that himself some days, but he always shook himself out of those thoughts. There had to be good in his nation somewhere.) But Sokka had been trying so painfully to act casual that Zuko gave in.
Boiling Rock.
It wasn't the worst prison in the Fire Nation, but it was the hardest to escape from. Sitting on a rock in the middle of a boiling lake was a prison built for political prisoners and dissidents. In decades past, it had held mostly Fire Nation citizens who crossed the Firelord in some way, so it had special measures built in to suppress firebenders. Not that that mattered for Sokka, who was looking for his father.
If it had been Zuko's father in there, he would have let him rot. But Sokka's eyes glinted with determination when he snuck up to Appa later that night, and Zuko wasn't going to let him face a Fire Nation prison alone.
The conversation was stilted and awkward as they flew toward the prison. Zuko stayed focused on powering the war balloon, fumbling his responses to Sokka's attempts at conversation. What kind of a response was 'that's rough, buddy'? Then again, what in Agni's name did Sokka mean when he said his girlfriend had turned into the moon? Was that some kind of Water Tribe reference he didn't understand? Or had she actually turned into the moon? The actual moon in the actual sky?
He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice that Sokka had fallen asleep until he heard gentle snores. He turned toward the sound and watched Sokka's chest rise and fall in the moonlight, which draped over him like a blanket. He looked comfortable.
They made it to Boiling Rock a few hours later, and everything went wrong almost immediately. Sokka's dad wasn't in the prison, but his girlfriend (not the moon one, apparently) was, and so they planned an escape. Then other prisoners found out and wanted in, and Zuko had been found out and unmasked.
For a moment there, he had thought he was going to die. He was a banished prince who had betrayed his country in a prison that was over half Fire Nation citizens. He hadn't died though. In fact, the other prisoners had stayed out of his way, and a few had even bowed. He had no idea what to do with that, so he focused on doing his job and helping them escape.
They had been ready to do so when they had gotten word that another transport of prisoners was arriving, and Sokka made the decision to stay on the off chance that his father was aboard. Zuko had said something about honor and failure and trying anyway. His wise words were a mess compared to his Uncle's, but Sokka seemed to appreciate them.
They found Sokka's dad (Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe, apparently) and planned another escape. Then Mai was there and Azula and Ty Lee, and Zuko felt like his heart was being pulled in a dozen different directions. He could see the doubt on Sokka's face when his sister showed up, but there was no way he was going back to the Fire Nation now. They would kill him, and any good he had tried to do would mean nothing.
Mai sacrificed her freedom for them, and the ride back to the air temple was hushed.
. . .
"Dad!" As soon as they stepped off the balloon, Katara ran to her father and practically tackled him into a hug. Hakoda stumbled back with the force of the hug and reciprocated it, wrapping his arms tightly around Katara and then opening them to let Sokka in on the hug too. They looked...happy. Hakoda genuinely seemed excited to see his children again and not upset that they had left him behind in the first place.
But Zuko knew firsthand that things weren't always what they seemed, especially in families.
He kept an eye on Hakoda as they walked back to the camp, and when it was time for dinner, he sat on the opposite side of the fire, making up some excuse about not wanting his back to the cliff when Sokka asked him to sit nearby. He felt Hakoda's eyes on him then, but no one said anything, and the dinner continued as usual, with Sokka and Suki telling the story of how they had all broken out of Boiling Rock. Chit Sang contributed some too, playing up his role in misidentifying the guard who had helped him escape. Zuko stayed quiet, only speaking when prompted.
There was a part of him that wanted to give in to the happy atmosphere and relax. He had been so tense for so long, constantly looking over his shoulder and waiting for judgment from a hundred different sources, and it had taken its toll. Exhaustion weighed on him, heavier than it had even when he and Uncle had been on the run in the Earth Kingdom.
But then Hakoda moved a bit too quickly toward Sokka, and Zuko was on high alert again, watching every movement.
Dinner stretched for hours as everyone swapped stories and gave updates about what they had been up to since they had last seen each other. Hakoda had updates about the other warriors who had been captured on the Day of Black Sun, and Chit Sang had interesting information about the state of the Fire Nation. Apparently, the common people were becoming more dissatisfied by the day.
"Alright kids, I think it's time for everyone to head to bed," Hakoda eventually declared.
Katara rolled her eyes, and Zuko barely suppressed a flinch. "Dad, we've been perfectly fine without an established bedtime."
Hakoda laughed, making Zuko's hair rise. But instead of angry words or blows, he said, "Fair enough, but I think Aang is about to fall asleep on top of Teo."
"What? Huh?" Aang shot up at the sound of his name, blinking rapidly. "I'm fine!"
A laugh went around the circle. "Sure you are, buddy," Sokka chuckled. "Dad's right. You have training with Zuko in the morning, and the rest of us have things to do too."
"Yeah, like finding some meat! I can't believe you left that stupid note and didn't even bring back any meat!" Toph complained, tossing a pebble at Sokka for emphasis.
"Right. Like finding meat." He rubbed his forehead. "Anyway, I'm going to sleep. Good night."
The phrase was echoed as people left the circle, heading deeper into the temple to their rooms. Suki went with Sokka, Zuko noticed, and he felt a pang of regret at the way he had left Mai behind. Had there been a way to save her? She was at Azula's mercy now because of him, and his entire life's experience told him that his sister had very little mercy to offer. Azula wouldn't kill Mai, but only because she could dream up a dozen punishments worse than death.
Agni, what had he done?
"Heavy thoughts?"
The sound of Hakoda's voice jerked Zuko from his musings and he blinked to see Hakoda sitting much closer than he had earlier. They were the only two left around the fire, and every instinct in Zuko's body screamed at him to flee.
"I'm thinking about our escape, sir," he eventually answered, keeping his eyes trained on the space past the chief's left shoulder.
"You knew the girl who stayed behind." It wasn't a question, but Zuko nodded anyway.
"Yes, sir. She's--she was my girlfriend."
"It was a brave thing she did, giving us the chance to escape. I'll make sure her sacrifice is remembered."
The reply was so unexpected, Zuko actually locked eyes with Hakoda, his surprise no doubt written on his face. The chief's face softened into a quiet smile.
"I won't forget your part in my rescue either. Thank you, Prince Zuko."
"I'm not a prince anymore," he said, too stunned to think of a proper reply.
"Maybe not to the Firelord. I have a feeling there are plenty of people in the Fire Nation who would rather see you at its head than your father. If what my son says about you is true, you're the prince your nation needs."
How was he supposed to respond to something like that? There was nothing he could say that wouldn't trap himself in a corner. If he said he wasn't fit to represent the nation, what right did he have to train the Avatar? If he said he was honored to be a source of hope for his people, he could easily be accused of arrogance.
He stayed silent.
After a moment, Hakoda stood. "Try and get some sleep," he said. Then he turned and walked deeper into the temple, leaving Zuko to stare at the flames and wonder when everything would come crashing down.
. . .
As it turned out, things went well for the next week or so. He trained Aang, sparred with Sokka, was allowed to wash the dishes with Katara looming over his shoulder, and had several interesting conversations with Toph. He'd also learned not to spar with Toph if he wanted his bones to remain unbroken. He had even talked with Suki a few times. Then, they were sitting around the fire at dinner one night, and everything fell apart.
The night before, the group had been talking about their stay in Ba Sing Se. Zuko had barely breathed during the conversation, sure that Katara or Aang would demand that he explain and apologize for his betrayal again. Instead, the conversation stayed light as they talked about the things they did in Ba Sing Se when they weren't fighting. After Toph and Katara finished talking about their spa day, Toph turned to him.
"What about you, Sparky? You were obviously in the city, but what did you do?"
And so Zuko had told them about Uncle's tea shop. He tried to make sure they understood he wasn't spying and that he hadn't been in the city as some kind of sleeper cell--he and his uncle had just been making tea. He could tell Katara didn't believe him, but Aang seemed to. He asked Zuko to make tea for them soon, and even Katara wasn't able to say no to his pleading expression.
So there he was, making tea. The teapot they had was old and cracked, but it held water, and Zuko focused on keeping the temperature just right. He used the campfire rather than his firebending, and he could feel everyone's eyes on him. Finally, he decided the tea was ready and prayed that he had actually learned something from Uncle and wasn't about to poison everyone.
He poured the tea carefully, handing each cup over before pouring the next. Aang got the first (he was the Avatar after all, and as much as this group didn't seem to care for rank, it felt wrong to serve anyone else before him) and hummed as he sipped it. That was a good thing, right?
Zuko turned his attention back to the teacups. He moved slowly, making sure each cup was balanced and not too full before he handed them over. Katara glared at him when she took hers, but she drank it, so that had to mean she trusted him at least a little bit.
Finally, the only person left was Chief Hakoda. He was sitting just outside the circle, watching his children with a smile on his face. Taking a breath, Zuko poured another cup of tea and stood, walking over to the chief. Hakoda looked up at him as he approached, but Zuko kept his entire focus on the teacup, making certain not a single drop spilled.
And that was his mistake.
He was so absorbed in getting the tea right that he didn't see or hear anyone approaching from his left. Then there was pressure on his shoulder and his instincts took over. An instant later, Aang was flat on his back.
Aang blinked up at him, confusion written over his open face.
Zuko let go of Aang like he had been burned. The sinking feeling in his stomach turned to plummeting as he heard Katara yell, "Dad!"
He turned and saw that Hakoda's tunic had been soaked by the scalding tea, and his face was twisted into an expression of pained surprise. Fear raced through Zuko like one of his father's lightning bolts, and he did the only thing he could.
His knees hit the stone hard enough to rattle his body as he fell into a low bow, his heartbeat so loud in his ears he almost didn't hear himself say, "I apologize for my carelessness, sir. I beg your forgiveness." The words were rote on his tongue and once they were out he clamped his jaw closed and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
But the harsh words and harsher blows he expected never came. He kept his forehead pressed to the stone as the silence stretched. He tried to keep his breathing steady, tried not to show fear or weakness, but his mind was betraying him. There was something hard beneath his knees and forehead, but he could no longer remember if it was stone or the cold tile of the Firelord's palace. Who stood above him? What had he done? What would his punishment be now? He could only brace himself and wait.
"Alright, everyone back up and give Zuko some room." That was Toph's voice, her authority cutting through the pounding in his ears and bringing him back to the present. But the words didn't make any sense. Give him space? Why would he need space? It must be for Hakoda, so he could--his mind refused to finish the sentence, and he stayed low in his trembling bow.
Distantly, he heard the shuffling of feet, but he didn't dare to look up even as Toph spoke again. "Zuko, you can get up."
It wasn't her place to decide that, and Zuko squeezed his eyes shut, praying he was target enough and that she wouldn't be punished for speaking out. But then the order was repeated in a deeper voice. "You can rise, Prince Zuko."
He flinched at the title but obeyed Hakoda's command and rose from his bow until he was sitting on his knees. Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Hakoda's and barely suppressed his flinch. There was horror written on the chief's face, and something ugly bubbled inside Zuko. Of course his weakness horrified him. How could he be so naive to think that begging for forgiveness would make a difference? It never had before.
But then Hakoda sunk to his knees across from him, just out of arm's reach, and Zuko's brain stopped working.
"Zuko, what did you think was going to happen just now?"
This was a trick, a trap. He looked down, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. Was this one of those rhetorical questions? He didn't know, but ignoring Hakoda seemed like a mistake. He licked his lips and forced his vocal chords to work. "You were going to punish me."
Even with his eyes trained on the ground, Zuko could see the way Hakoda flinched at his words. What was going on here? Why would he act this way? Was it an elaborate performance to get him to lower his guard?
"It was an accident," the chief said quietly.
The too-gentle words sounded like discordant notes in the still air, and something in Zuko exploded. "I hurt you! I attacked the Avatar! Your daughter's been waiting for me to fail from day one and now I have." A humorless chuckle slipped unbidden from his lips. "Of course you were going to hurt me--I deserve it."
Silence greeted him. Cautiously, he lifted his head and looked around the small circle that had formed. Shock was painted on everyone's faces, and he swore he saw tears glimmering in Katara's eyes.
"You reacted to a potential threat the way any warrior would," Hakoda said, his voice quiet and firm. Zuko met his eyes despite himself. "It was an accident. I'm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you."
Zuko didn't believe him. He couldn't. Hakoda's eyes softened, and he stood and walked away from the camp. Zuko followed him with his eyes until he disappeared behind the pillars, and he felt something in his chest loosen.
The feeling vanished as soon as he remembered where he was.
He stood, ignoring the ache in his knees as he did. Aang opened his mouth to say something, but Zuko glared and his mouth snapped shut. No one else even tried, so he pushed through the circle. He could feel their eyes on him, but he didn't look back as he stalked toward his room. His skin was buzzing and itching like it was too small for him, and fire burned beneath his fingertips.
. . .
"It was cruel and it was wrong. It was cruel and it was wrong. It was cruel and it was wrong." The words tumbled from Zuko's lips over and over again like a waterfall as he pushed himself through his katas. His inner flame was dancing wildly, and he didn't trust himself enough to bend (didn't trust that he wouldn't flinch away from his own power), so he was practicing with his dao. It was getting dark, and he had no idea how long he had been out on this secluded terrace.
All he knew was that he still saw his fa--Ozai looming over him every time he closed his eyes.
He forced his body to twist through a series of kicks and dodges, moving his dao as extensions of his arms as he spun. "It was cruel and it was wrong. Fathers are supposed to be kind to their children. Fathers are supposed to protect them. Fathers are supposed to love them."
He lashed out, his whistling blades doing nothing to banish Ozai's cruel smile.
How could he have thought Ozai cared about him? When he had returned to the Caldera, he had been welcomed with open arms and his relief had blinded him. He sat at Ozai's right hand, but that hadn't meant Ozai cared about him as anything other than a prop, a symbol of obedience and consequence.
"Fathers don't hurt their children. Fathers don't turn their children into war machines. Fathers don't banish their children for speaking out of turn." Every word was punctuated with a sharp slash of his blades or twist of his body, and slowly the familiar ache of training overpowered the heat of phantom fire above his scarred skin.
He finished his kata, chest heaving. Sweat poured down his back and dripped into his good eye, and he relished the sting. He might have stayed that way forever if not for the sound of someone clearing their throat from the doorway behind him.
Every muscle in his body tensed, and it took every ounce of control he had not to spin around and lash out at the person behind him. Instead, he took a slow, deep breath and let his dao clatter to the ground. He had been disarmed in every way that matters by this little group--he might as well make it official.
He took a few more breaths to quell his inner flame before turning. When he did, he was met with Sokka's concerned gaze.
"Hey, man. I didn't mean to eavesdrop on you, but I wanted to check on you and figured I shouldn't interrupt. I did that to Toph once and she nearly buried me in a rock slide." He shrugged awkwardly. "Anyway, I heard some of that stuff about your dad, and I'm sorry. That's awful."
Zuko's skin prickled. "It was cruel and wrong, but it was life. Ozai isn't much of a father." Suddenly, his limbs were as heavy as lead. Sokka obviously wasn't going anywhere, but Zuko was so tired. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to be pitied. He didn't want to be.
He half-sat half-fell to the ground, his body facing Sokka but his head turned to the night sky above. After a moment, Sokka stepped into his view and sat across from him, letting silence stretch between them for awhile. Then, he said, "You're right that dads aren't supposed to hurt their kids. My dad has never laid a hand on me or Katara or starved us or any of that stuff. The village would have kicked him out if they had."
A nice thought. But wasn't Hakoda the village chief? Could they have really done anything if he was abusing his children? Would anyone ever know? Katara had healing powers, and Zuko knew first hand where someone could put bruises that wouldn't show.
He kept his mouth shut and stared up at the moon.
"I get why you reacted the way you did. My dad would never hurt you or any of us, but it's okay if you don't believe that right now."
Sokka's voice was quiet and open and earnest, and some part of Zuko softened. There was nothing he could say, not really, so he let them drift back into silence. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sokka turn his face toward the moon and smile. It was the kind of smile Uncle wore when he was thinking about Lu Ten.
"Did your girlfriend really turn into the moon?" The question was out in the air before Zuko could think twice, but Sokka didn't look offended. He just nodded.
"Yeah. Her name is Yue."
Zuko tilted his head back to see the moon more fully. "She's beautiful tonight."
"Yeah, yeah she is."
They stayed like that for several minutes until Sokka stood. "Let's go back to the campfire."
It was an invitation, not an order. Sokka wanted him to come back for some reason, but the casual set to his shoulders seemed to suggest it was actually up to him to decide. He didn't know why, but he nodded, and followed Sokka off the terrace.
. . .
Zuko stood at the edge of the campfire, barely resisting the urge to fidget. Aang, Toph, Katara, and Suki had been quietly speaking, but they stopped when he and Sokka walked up. And now everyone was staring at him.
He cleared his throat and made eye contact with Aang. "Sorry. For attacking you."
"It's okay, Sifu Hotman! You've got great reflexes!" Aang smiled brightly. "Will you sit with us?"
He couldn't deny Aang, especially not tonight, so he sat. Toph immediately moved so she was pressed against his left side, and he let her arrange his arms so she could get comfortable. Once she was settled, he felt her tap three times against his ribs.
"We're ready when you are, Sparky." She kept her voice quiet, and suddenly Zuko remembered his first day at the temple when she had told him to tap the ground three times if something was wrong.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, eyes locked on the flames of the campfire. Toph moved impossibly closer.
"I'm sorry for reacting the way I did earlier," he finally said. "My instincts took over, and I messed up. I guess growing up in the Firelord's palace made me jumpy." He laughed weakly. No one joined him.
"Aren't you the crown prince?" Katara asked. "I thought people worshiped the ground your family walked on."
Zuko scratched his head. "Kind of? I mean, people worshiped Ozai for sure, especially after he became Firelord, and I guess that extended to me? But Azula's always been the prodigy. Besides, it was Ozai who made the palace unlivable--he didn't exactly tolerate mistakes, and I couldn't seem to stop making them."
Katara's eyes grew wide.
"Aang is on a journey to defeat the Firelord right now," Zuko pointed out, a little incredulously. "Surely you know he wasn't a great dad."
"That's pretty obvious," Toph said, and Zuko could practically feel her rolling her eyes. "I mean, it's not like a good parent burns half of his kid's face off when he's thirteen."
There was a moment of silence, and then the small group exploded.
"He did what?!"
"Your own dad?"
"Aang I know it's your destiny to face the Firelord, but you gotta leave a piece for me."
"That's horrible…"
Zuko blinked. And blinked again. The faces around the campfire were twisted with rage, but it wasn't directed at him. Instead, it seemed to be…in his defense? Even Sokka, who had overheard some of what his father had done, looked stunned and angry.
"You…didn't know?"
Aang shook his head, wiping tears away as he did. "No, we didn't. How could he have--? No child should have to suffer like that."
Part of Zuko wanted to get angry. He wasn't some pathetic figure to be pitied! But for once, he pushed that feeling aside. Aang looked sad more than anything, but it didn't feel like pity. It felt like mourning. Still, all the attention made his hair stand on end.
"Toph knew," was all he could think to say.
"A lot of the Earth Kingdom does, I think," she said. "But my parents are nobility, so they always got news like that."
"We were so busy helping Aang find bending teachers. We never heard anything," Sokka said. Then he paused and frowned. "Wait, does your scar have anything to do with why you were chasing us? You were always yelling about reclaiming your honor."
Zuko flinched. They hadn't known? This whole time…had they thought he wanted to capture the Avatar as some kind of prize?
Toph tapped against his arm. "You should tell them."
He had never told anyone what happened before. Granted, he had been pretty certain everyone already knew, but the thought of sharing that on purpose… He opened his mouth to make some kind of excuse, but then Toph snuggled closer to him, and he realized that this was the safest he had felt since Ba Sing Se, maybe even earlier. Uncle had always said sharing burdens with others made them lighter for everyone.
"Uh, yeah, yeah it was part of the reason I was chasing you," he finally said, catching Sokka's eye for an instant before shifting his gaze to the fire. "My fa--Ozai banished me and said I couldn't come back until I captured the Avatar."
"Oh." Aang's voice was small. "You just wanted to go home."
Zuko sighed heavily. "Yeah. I guess I was too much of an idiot to see the truth. Ozai banished me when I was thirteen, three years before you returned. He never expected that I would find you."
"What would make the Firelord banish his heir?" Suki asked. Zuko was surprised to see that she looked just as upset as the others; they had only known each other for a few days, and before that he had burned down her island. He didn't deserve her protection or concern, but apparently he didn't get a say in that. All he could do to repay her was tell the truth.
"I spoke out of turn at a meeting. I wasn't supposed to be there at all, but I convinced Uncle to let me in. If I was going to be Firelord one day, I needed to know how to rule. I was supposed to stay silent." The flames of the campfire licked a little higher into the sky. "I didn't."
He took a breath and continued, focusing on Toph's strong arms gripping his middle. "One of the generals proposed a battle plan that involved sacrificing a battalion of raw recruits so that the better-trained soldiers would be able to flank the enemy. The recruits would be slaughtered, and I couldn't sit there and let it happen.
"I spoke up. I told the general that we couldn't betray our people like that. These soldiers promised their lives to our Nation, and we had a duty to repay that dedication. But the general was my elder, and I disrespected him by speaking out of turn, so I was challenged to an Agni Kai." He saw Katara's face twist in confusion. "It's a duel between fire benders, used to settle serious disputes," he explained. "Anyway, I accepted. The general was old, and I figured I could take him.
"When the day came and I turned to face my opponent in the arena, though, it wasn't the general I was supposed to fight. By speaking out of turn in the Firelord's war room, it was the Firelord I had disrespected." The flames danced in front of him, and he swore he could see Ozai's face reflected in them.
"I refused to fight my father. I apologized, begged for his forgiveness, but he didn't care. He had ordered the entire court to attend the Agni Kai--he wanted to put on a show for them. Show them what happened when his authority was questioned. So he burned off half my face.
"I woke up a week later on my ship with Uncle at my bedside. He told me Ozai had banished me and that I couldn't return home until I captured the Avatar."
He didn't dare move his gaze from the fire. Something in him felt lighter, having told the story, but he wasn't naive. He knew the way he looked; he had betrayed them in Ba Sing Se because he was desperate to return to a father who had never wanted or loved him. He wouldn't be surprised if Aang wanted to find a more competent teacher.
But then a quiet voice broke him from his spiral. "Zuko? Can I hug you?"
He looked up to see Aang standing next to him, his face streaked with tears. "Uh, sure. Yeah, you can."
He had barely gotten the words out before he was tackled by the young airbender, the force nearly knocking him and Toph over. Aang held him tightly, and his body shook with quiet sobs. Zuko had no idea how to react to that, so he just sat there and let Aang hug him like he was dying.
Eventually, Aang pulled away slightly and wiped his eyes. "I'm glad you got away from Ozai."
"I am too."
"Alright, group hug time!" Sokka crowed, and a moment later Zuko, Toph, and Aang were bowled over by the force of Sokka's hug. Zuko decided to accept his fate and stayed laying down as both Katara and Suki joined the hug pile. The weight of everyone on top of him should have been stifling, but instead it felt comforting, like he was being shielded from the world by his friends.
Huh. He had friends now.
"Might as well get comfortable, Sparky. I'm not going anywhere until you've had a full eight hours of sleep for once," Toph declared, and the rest of the pile hummed their agreement.
Zuko chuckled. "I know better than to argue with the greatest earthbender in the world."
"See, I knew there was a reason I liked you. Now shut up and go to sleep."
Zuko closed his eyes and let the sound of his friends' murmuring and the weight of their bodies lull him to sleep. For the first time since he could remember, his sleep was dreamless, and he didn't wake until the sun began to rise the next morning.