After a long week at work, the only thing Eddie wanted to do was cuddle up on the couch with Charlie, eat something greasy, and watch TV. Chris had other plans, though, because as soon as he walked in the door, it was to find bags packed with clothes in the hallway.
He entered the apartment in trepidation, wondering what he would find. Thankfully, it didn't look any different, and he could hear Charlie's laughter from her bedroom. Relaxing, he followed the sound to find her jumping on her bed, Chris standing by, half amused, half exasperated. Charlie stopped when she saw Eddie leaping off into his arms, and he quickly adjusted not to drop her.
"Hi, Daddy! We're ready to go!"
"Go?"
"Auntie Chris made me promise to keep it a secret. It was hard, but I did it."
He shot Chris a concerned look, making her laugh. Ruffling Charlie's hair, she explained, "We're going to Hawkins to see Wayne."
"And it had to be kept a secret because…?"
"It's a surprise. Now, come on, everything's ready, so let's go!"
As Chris got their bags in the car, Eddie crouched down beside Charlie, holding her hands tight. "Promise you won't hide things from me again? We don't have secrets."
"I know. But I promised." Charlie's eyes widened innocently, and Eddie couldn't be mad at her. He sighed and kissed her forehead. "Papaw knows, too."
"Okay. Promise me it won't happen again?"
"I promise." Charlie hugged him tight, refusing to let go, so he had to scoop her up and carry her to the car. She only let go once she was buckled in safely and after another kiss, smiling up at Eddie in such a sweet way it made his heart hurt. God, how was she part of him? "I love you, daddy."
"Love you too, babygirl. You gonna sleep a little on the ride?"
"Nope."
Eddie knew that was a lie. Sure enough, they had barely left Chicago behind when he glanced in the mirror to see Charlie fast asleep, head jostling slightly against her chest. "Why are we going to Wayne's?" He whispered to Chris.
She shot him a concerned look. "Don't you know what today is?" Then she scoffed when he raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Your anniversary."
"Oh." Eddie hadn't technically forgotten. It was more like he had suppressed the information so much it hadn't consciously registered. He knew something was happening today but had been unwilling to find out what. Now he knew why as the sinking feeling in his stomach settled into a heavy weight. "Yay."
"Wow. You sound super excited. Six years isn't something to scoff at."
He rechecked Charlie to make sure she was still sleeping. "It isn't something to celebrate either. Congrats, Eddie, you're not a shithead anymore."
"You're too hard on yourself."
"My worst critic. I always have been." Even when writing songs, Eddie had spent more time on rewrites than the original version. When he heard their songs on the radio sometimes, he still felt they weren't perfect. Deadlines and pressure from so many directions had forced him to work faster, and ultimately, was a factor in his descent into drugs and subsequent burnout.
"We still love you."
"Yeah, yeah, I love you too. Christ, what is this, love Eddie Munson day?"
"Yes. We should call it that from now on."
Eddie groaned, swatting at her, but never took his eyes from the road. It had been a long week, and the last thing he wanted to do was crash. Chris helped by giving him a snack and water to wake him up. But by the time they stopped outside Wayne's trailer, all Eddie wanted to do was sleep, not party, whatever that involved.
Charlie woke up the moment the car stopped. Full of revitalized energy, she ran to the trailer and let herself in, almost knocked over by Mabel, yipping and kissing her face. Eddie could hear Charlie's squeals before opening the car door. Wayne had Mabel under control when Eddie got inside, and Charlie was sitting on the floor with Jackson and William.
"Hey, kiddo," Wayne said gruffly, dragging Eddie into a hug.
"God, Wayne, you're acting like I haven't seen you in ages. It's barely been a month!" Eddie was secretly pleased, though, and hugged his uncle back, only breaking free when Charlie squeezed between them with a pout for being left out. "Get in here, kiddo."
"Thank you." She threw her arms around Wayne's neck as Eddie picked her up, and a moment later, Chris' arms were around them all.
"Okay, that's enough." Eddie pried himself free with a grimace.
"Aww, poor Eddie's got the ickies," Chris cooed, pinching his cheek.
Eddie slapped at her as Charlie laughed.
"Okay, enough, children," Wayne warmed them, setting Charlie on the counter. "I had enough of this when you were little. Act your age."
Chris held out her arms, and sighing, Eddie hugged her again.
"Okay, let's get this party started!" Chris chirped, clapping her hands together. She stopped Charlie from the counter into her arms and got her to press play on the ancient player. The sound of The Judds filled the room. Chris wrinkled her nose and ejected the CD. "Seriously, Wayne? This stuff is like forty years old."
"And it's still good music." He took the CD to put away, waving at the rack filled with more. "Take your pick. I'm sure some of Eddie's old stuff is still there."
It was, too. Eddie was delighted to find his original copies of Defenders of the Faith by Judas Priest and Master of Puppets by Metallica were still there. He put them to the side with their bags to take home.
Chris unearthed an old copy of the top one hundred rock songs to play, and soon, the sound of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin was playing quietly. Chris hummed along, taking one of Charlie's hands, and began dancing slowly. Eddie watched them, heart filling with warmth, and didn't hesitate to take Charlie when she held her arms out to him.
"Happy birthday, Daddy," she murmured into his neck, hugging him tight.
"It's not my birthday, babygirl."
"But it's your party."
"Yep. My getting better party. Remember I told you I used to be sick?"
Charlie nodded, her tiny hand covering his exposed elbow where, if you looked closely enough, you could still see the marks. "Poison?"
"Uh-huh. I got better when I found out about you. So today is six years since I found out I was having a baby." Eddie kissed her forehead, breathing in the smell of strawberry shampoo as he tried to compose himself. Charlie knew the basics of what had happened. The rest could wait until she was old enough to understand. "You saved me, babygirl."
He looked up at a knock at the door. Chris took Charlie back and jerked her head to the door with a mischievous sort of smile that made Eddie nervous. "Go on."
Eddie opened the door, momentarily stunned to find it was Jeff. After a beat of silence, he broke into a smile and hugged him. "Jeff, man, it's good to see you. What are you doing here?"
"Chrissy messaged me."
"Of course she did."
"The others wanted to come, but we didn't want to overwhelm you. And we're gearing up for another tour."
"Album's going well then?"
"Would've been better with your help," Jeff told him shrewdly.
Jeff had always been rather blunt, one of the things Eddie liked about him. He had threatened to kick Eddie out of the band if he didn't clean up his act, refusing to let him come on their second tour. Eddie had spent a long time hating one of his oldest friends, but now, he was grateful for it. If he'd gone on that tour, chances were he would be dead because Charlie wouldn't have happened.
"Not better for me."
"Daddy, who is it?" Charlie hugged his legs, peering around him at Jeff, and then she frowned. "I know you."
"This is Jeff. You haven't seen him since you were a baby."
Jeff crouched down and smiled at her. "Hey, Charlie. You're a lot bigger than I remember."
"Yep. Daddy keeps complaining I need new shoes."
"She's going to have big feet," Eddie muttered.
"Me and your daddy used to be in a band together. But I've known him since high school. Has he told you about the Hellfire Club?"
Charlie's eyes widened, and she bounced excitedly as she rambled, "Yes! The game with the dragons and wizards! It still confuses me, but I'm getting better. I'm gonna be a Fairy Ranger."
"Fey Wanderer," Eddie explained at Jeff's confusion. He quickly picked Charlie up and stepped back to let him in. "If Chris invited you, you better come say hi. Charlie can talk your ear off later."
"I'd like that." Jeff held out his fist to Charlie, who considered it for a moment before first bumping him. "You're raising one cool little girl."
"Yep. I'm the coolest." Charlie agreed happily, wriggling free to inspect the food Wayne was putting on the table.
Jeff patted Eddie's back before joining her, greeting Wayne with a hug. He had spent many nights crashing in the trailer when they were still in high school. Jeff was basically another adopted kid of Wayne's, along with the rest of the band. Eddie was kind of glad it was only Jeff, less overwhelming. He hadn't been with all of them since the day he announced he was quitting. No one had argued, which only convinced him it had been the right choice.
Over the years, he had spoken to the group a couple of times, a few texts and emails. The offer had been bought up before, about his return, but Eddie had always shut it down. The last thing he needed was temptation. Besides, Charlie was still so little. He couldn't leave her to tour or be distracted writing albums. His place was at home, and it always would be even if he had to deal with shitty customers day in, day out. Charlie was worth it.
"Daddy, Papaw got cupcakes!"
Shaking it off, Eddie joined the group around the table.
The 'party' turned out to be just them, the player that liked to skip a few seconds of each song in random places and so much food. Eddie had to keep an eye on Charlie because she kept sneaking more. The car ride home was going to be fun, and he made a mental note to grab some bags before leaving.
Charlie finally crashed around eleven, dropping dead in Eddie's arms as they sat on the couch talking. He took her into the bedroom, tucked her in, and kissed her goodnight. Not once did she stir, only burrowing under the covers.
"Goodnight, babygirl, sweet dreams," he whispered, kissing her once more before leaving the room.
The others had settled down, too, Wayne snoring softly in his ancient armchair, and even Chris was starting to nod off. Jeff offered him a sleepy smile, raising a glass in greeting as Eddie passed. He didn't stop, only patted Jeff's shoulder and continued outside. He needed some air.
Even the trailer park felt stifling, so Eddie took off into the woods, feet carrying him on a familiar path that ended in a small clearing with a picnic table in the center. He approached it slowly, fingers dragging across the old wood, and with a sigh, he sat down.
Outside in the dark, alone at his old picnic table, he smoked and tried not to think about the old days. Dealing in the woods, blow jobs traded for weed and a black eye to ensure his silence. Small-town homophobia was still running rampant, even these days.
He'd tried to be normal, to only look at the girls, but boys were pretty too. Different in a way he couldn't explain. His first girlfriend noticed and dumped him when she caught him staring at a boy for too long at a party, and then the rumors spread. Eddie the fag. Eddie the freak. Things that had stuck all through high school.
Sure, he preferred guys, but girls were still attractive. During the dark years, he'd fucked around with so many different people he wasn't even sure what his sexuality was anymore. Did it even matter? It wasn't like he was looking for a relationship. He had Princess, and that was enough. Somebody who couldn't hurt Charlie. Somebody who couldn't hurt him. Eddie wouldn't give him the chance.
But when his phone rang a moment later, and it was Princess' name on the screen, his heart betrayed him at a furious pace. He swallowed thickly and answered. "Hey."
"Hey, are you alone?"
"As alone as I'll ever be, sure." Eddie flicked away the dying butt of his cigarette and lit another. "What's up?"
"I just- fuck, Rob, what are you doing? Stop it, you asshole!" Princess dissolved into a fit of laughter, and it cut into Eddie like a knife. "I'm trying to- to talk on the phone. Fuck off!" A door slammed shut, and Princess sighed heavily, sounding out of breath and maybe drunk. His words were slurring. "Sorry, Kas. Um, where was I?"
In the middle of getting fucked by Rob, apparently. Eddie held his tongue, blowing out a long breath before responding, "You never started. Rob distracted you."
"Right, right, Rob. Don't mind that. Mmm, you have a nice voice, Kas. Anyone ever tell you that?"
"A few people."
Princess laughed again, the sound muffled. "Fuck," he sighed after a moment, "I can't stop thinking about you. Like, I'll be at work, and I'll see this- this person and I start thinking about you. Your hair, your eyes, your smile…"
"Princess-"
"You're amazing, Kas. I wanna know you."
Eddie cursed as the end of the cigarette burned his fingers, quickly dropping it. The pain and the panic about Princess' push for more propelled him into his following words with far more harshness than he intended. "We have rules. If you can't keep them, then we're going to stop. I don't want to know you more, and I'm not going to invite you into my life."
Silence down the line. Eddie wondered if Princess was okay, but then he heard a shaky exhale. "Kas?"
"Just… go to sleep. You're drunk."
Princess hung up, and Eddie stared at his phone, guilt smothering the fleeting anger and worry.
The coldness seemed to seep into his bones, so with a heavy heart, he returned to the trailer park. Everyone was asleep when he let himself in, and carefully creeping around them, he joined Charlie in the bedroom. She woke up a bit as he climbed into the bed but only snuggled into his arms, dropping off again immediately.
Eddie spent a long time staring at the ceiling, yellowed with age and his bad smoking habits. When he finally fell asleep, it was to the thought of messaging Princess in the morning to see how he was. If he were lucky, Princess would be too hungover to remember much.
Unfortunately, Eddie had never been very lucky, and he woke to several texts from Princess.
Princess - [06:52 AM]
I'm so sorry.
I was drunk, I was being stupid. I didn't mean to say those things to you.
Kas, you gotta believe me.
I'm not asking you to be in a relationship with me.
Sex is fine. Sex is great!
I think you're a great guy, that's all. Just wanted to know more about you.
And now I'm making a fool of myself over text.
Forget it. I'm sorry.
Eddie stared at the messages, the guilt coming back so fast it made him feel sick. Pushing boundaries or not, he'd been an asshole to Princess, who was clearly hurt by the rebuttal.
His attention snapped to Charlie when she yawned and rolled into his side, smiling at him sleepily. "Hi, Daddy."
"Hey, babygirl. Sleep well?"
"Mhmm." She burrowed closer, arms wrapping around his middle. "Hungry."
"Better get some breakfast then. You wanna get changed first." He helped her find the clothes in the suitcase before leaving her to get dressed. The others had woken up, too, the smell of bacon already wafting from the small kitchen area. Eddie smiled and patted Jeff's shoulder, jerking him from his stupor at the table. "Morning."
"Reminds me of when we were teens," Jeff yawned, accepting his plate gratefully.
"Less hungover now."
"Speak for yourself. Where's Chris?" Eddie looked around, but she definitely wasn't in the trailer.
"Outside talking to… Robin?"
"Ah, makes sense." Eddie took a vacant seat, kicking out the one beside him as Charlie padded out of the bedroom and climbed into it. Eddie had to help cut her food because she was still tired and wiped the scrambled eggs from her face when she missed.
When Chris finally came back in, she took one look at her and then proceeded to brush Charlie's hair up and out of the way. "Honestly."
"How's Robin?" Eddie asked slyly, sharing a grin with Jeff when her cheeks turned pink.
"Fine."
"Just fine?"
Chris sent him a glare. "We're going out tomorrow night."
"Hope she's worth your time," Wayne muttered into his mug. "Best bring her round here too."
Eddie laughed at the panicked expression on Chris' face. He had no doubt Robin could charm Wayne, but it would be fun to watch Chris panic about it.
"Robin's very nice. She's Mr Steve's bestest friend, and I like her," Charlie told Wayne firmly, and his expression softened.
"Well, if she's got your approval, I guess she's alright then."
Chris looked extremely relieved.
Jeff was the first to leave soon after breakfast. He hugged them all goodbye, spinning Charlie around, much to her delight, and Eddie walked him out. Once they were alone, Jeff got down to it. "You might not think you're ready, but you are. Chris thinks so, too. Once this tour is done, we're planning another album. You should come help. It'd be great to have to back, if only as a writer."
"I'll think about it." Eddie didn't want to argue. Even if he already knew, the answer was no.
"Actually think about it?" Jeff looked dubious but thankfully didn't press the matter. He gave Eddie one last hug and left.
Finally alone, Eddie took the opportunity to get out his phone to respond to Princess. He hesitated, wondering what to say, and then impulsively sent the first thing he could think of.
Kas - [09:23 AM]
Nothing to apologize for. You were drunk.
Let's clear the air. Meet me at the park tonight?
Too late to back down now. If Princess said yes, he would have to make an excuse to see him. Eddie almost laughed. He felt like a teenager again trying to sneak out or come up with some shitty excuse for Wayne as to why he wasn't home all night. So much for being a responsible adult.
"Eddie, you better hurry before somebody finishes all your bacon!" Chris called, and sighing, Eddie went back inside. He was too late. His bacon was gone, and a delighted Charlie giggled at his incredulous expression. "Told you so."
"What did I do to deserve such treatment?" He asked Charlie, ruffling her hair.
"No!" She ran to Chris to get her hair sorted, sticking her tongue out at Eddie. He ignored her in favor of finishing what was left of his breakfast.
The drive home felt a lot longer than the drive there. Maybe because Eddie was dreading Princess' response or because Chris and Charlie were singing along to the soundtrack of Tangled, he wasn't sure. Probably the soundtrack. So it was a relief to get home and finally turn the damn thing off. As they were unpacking the car, he checked his phone, and his heart leaped when he saw he'd gotten a response.
Princess - [04:37 PM]
Ok.
I'll be there at 6.
Eddie glanced at his watch. He had about twenty minutes. "Chris, I need to go out. Will you be okay to watch Charlie for me?"
"Of course. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I hope." He grinned when she raised her eyebrows. "Need to go see Princess. Not what you think, but this can't wait."
"Ugh, fine. This better not be a booty call."
"I wish. See you soon, babygirl!" He called after Charlie as she ran inside, only stopping to wave on the stoop. "Thanks, Chris, I owe you."
He pulled up outside the park at five minutes past six. Heart pounding, he got out and walked towards the gates, elated but also nervous when he saw somebody already there. As he got closer, he knew from the familiar stance that it was Princess, and the fact that he was wearing his borrowed leather jacket. Princess turned when Eddie reached him, and he managed to smile. "Hey."
Princess looked terrible, hair a mess and dark circles under his eyes. But when Eddie stepped forward to touch him, Princess shook his head, arms crossing over his chest defensively. "Hey."
"I'm sorry." The words tumbled out before Eddie could stop them. Seeing Princess so upset and hurt because of what he said was heartbreaking. Eddie would do anything to take it away. "You caught me off guard, and you were with Rob or whatever, and I guess… I guess I got kind of jealous, Princess."
"Jealous?" Princess seemed surprised. Then understanding dawned in his eyes, and he laughed. "Of Rob? Kas, you can't be serious!"
"You were the one fucking giggling and messing around! I could hear everything!" Eddie could feel his face burning. He came out here to apologize, and Princess was laughing at him?
"No, no, Kas, that's not what I meant!" Princess grabbed his hands, face imploring. "Rob is my best friend, nothing else. I promise it's not what you think. We went out and got stupidly drunk and… made a deal to confess our feelings. N-not to each other, of course! I meant you and that stupid call."
Stunned, Eddie could only stare at Princess as his face reddened too.
"I get it," Princess continued softly after a moment. "It's not like that for you. It was supposed to be sex only. That's what we agreed. I'm sorry for screwing it up. I never was very good at keeping things casual."
Casual. Eddie ripped his hands free and shoved them in his pockets. Princess could talk all day long about wanting more, but Eddie knew that didn't include Charlie. This man liked to go out partying and agreed to this… thing with him. Of course, he didn't want a kid out of it. And Eddie shouldn't have considered it. That was never supposed to be the outcome.
"Kas?" Princess asked tentatively.
Eddie was again surprised when he looked at Princess and saw his eyes sparkling under the streetlight with what was unmistakably tears. "I'm sorry. But I think we want different things from this. We should stop."
"Stop?" Princess ran his hands through his hair and then laughed in disbelief. "Let me get this straight. You- you blow me off over the phone, get me to come out here, and you apologize, but then you… proceed to break up with me? Have I got that right?"
Well, when he put it like that, Eddie felt like a shithead, especially because Princess was crying now, wiping at his face aggressively. "Princess-"
"Don't call me that. God, I do everything you want. I try so fucking hard to be worth something, and you just throw it in my face. And yeah, I get it. It's just sex, but treat me with some respect. Don't mess me around like this. If you're saying it's over, then you mean it. Okay?"
Eddie swallowed thickly. "Okay."
"So it's over." Princess nodded and stepped away from him. "Cool. Understood. Well, I guess this is goodbye then. Here." And he threw Eddie his jacket before walking away.
Not knowing what to do or say, Eddie watched him go, his figure quickly swallowed up by the darkness.
How had it gone so wrong?
He'd been trying to apologize and, in the process, been a total ass and broken up with Princess? Was it even a breakup? It sure as hell felt like one. Eddie rubbed at the tears stinging his cheeks in the cold night air, unsure what he was supposed to do now. Numbly, he turned and walked in the opposite direction, away from Princess and the first source of happiness he'd had since Charlie.
But he didn't go home. He didn't even go back to the car.
No, Eddie wandered the streets until he found himself in a bar. It was the last place he should be, considering how he felt, but at the same time, as he sat on one of the stools and ordered a drink, it felt like coming home.
Staring down at the amber liquid, it took everything he had not to down the drink and order another. His phone buzzed, and with a shaking hand, Eddie got it out. Seeing his background picture of Charlie and a text from Chris asking where he was put it all in perspective. Shoving away from the bar, Eddie left. It took him much longer to find his car on the return trip, but he finally did and went home.
Chris jumped up the moment he entered, expression worried. "Where have you been?" When she hugged him, she stiffened. "God, you smell like a bar."
He hugged her back, refusing to let her go when she tried to escape. "We broke up," he finally said, mumbling the words into her shoulder. And then it hit him: Princess was gone.
"Broke up…? Oh, Eddie." Chris hugged him again, and when they finally broke apart, she said nothing about the tears on his face, only guiding him to sit down. "What happened?"
"He, uh, called yesterday. Said he wanted to get to know me, and I- I did what I always do, fucked it up. Tried to apologize but ended it instead. He left, Chris. He just… walked away like it was nothing."
"I thought it was nothing?"
Eddie shook his head. Because it was so fucking stupid, it made him want to laugh. Only now he was gone did Eddie realize how much Princess meant to him. "Guess I'm no good at casual either."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Nothing. It's over."
Chris pursed her lips but thankfully said nothing. Eddie wasn't in the mood for a pep talk. Princess had been very succinct. All he wanted was to feel something good, and the best thing in the world for that was Charlie.
"Is Charlie sleeping?"
"Yeah." Chris got between him and the hallway, looking apologetic. "Before you see her, I need to ask- Alcohol?"
Shame bubbled in his stomach, making him feel sick. "Went to a bar. I didn't drink anything. Just had a moment."
"Okay." She smiled and hugged him again. "Proud of you."
If only he could say the same. He managed to smile back and was finally allowed to see his daughter. Charlie was fast asleep, and he didn't want to wake her, so he only kissed her head before leaving the room. Chris obviously believed him because she'd left by the time he'd showered and changed.
Sitting alone in his room, Eddie found himself staring at the only photo he had of Princess' face. The one of him in bed, most of his face covered by the sheets but clearly smiling, eyes full of laughter.
He didn't know how or when, but Eddie resolved to fix things.
He would get Princess back.