Chapter 2: Cool Down

There was a small park, not far from the apartment complex on Bedford Street and just a short walk from Central Perk. Chandler had visited it on occasion, sometimes with his friends, but more times by himself.

The park was at its most tranquil in the evening. Dusk was falling when Chandler now arrived at the gates.

He slowed out of his run and began to stroll down the concrete pathways, past the greens and towards the footbridge spanning a small pond, his mind spinning.

He could understand Monica's strong desire to have a child. Start a family. It was one of her dearest ambitions, as well as one of her most transparent. He had always known that she wanted to be a mom, just as he had always known she wanted to be a chef, pretty much since the day he met her.

What Chandler couldn't understand was how Monica could become so desperate to achieve this dream that she would play with Joey like that. True, she hadn't intended for Joey's sperm donor profile to end up in her screening stack, but once she had identified him, she had seemed to be flat out against the possibility…. only to then reconsider and want to make him – Joey – the father of her baby.

Chandler was disappointed in Monica for not seeming to take how Joey might feel about the matter into account. True, Joey couldn't have predicted that his donor profile would have ended up in the hands of one of his best friends – that was pure happenstance. But at the same time, Joey had conducted that study at NYU full well knowing that his sperm might someday be chosen by some woman to conceive a child.

Still, this waffling on the part of Monica would not do. As for Joey, Chandler knew his roommate: he would acquiesce to Monica using his sperm out of fierce loyalty to her, perhaps even setting aside his feelings – whatever those were – in order for his friend to be happy.

Neither one of them seemed to know or understand just what they would be getting into. Chandler inwardly cursed Phoebe for the suggestion she had made, about how it might be better for Monica to select a sperm donor she knew instead of one she didn't. Be careful what you wish for, was all Chandler could think. Did Monica really expect to raise this baby – alone – with its father living just across the hall? When the child was old enough to ask questions about its parentage, how would Monica and Joey broach that? Or, suppose the kid came out looking like a mini-clone of Joey: might the child piece together the truth independently and wonder why he or she looked so much like the neighbor across the hall?

It was madness – and not just due to the specter of eventual, awkward questions. Joey wasn't cut out to be a father. It was a painful thing to say, yet it had to be said. Out of all six of them, Joey was the most immature of the bunch (Chandler's sarcastic jokes and tendencies notwithstanding). The young Tribbiani was in a profession that did not pay well, only barely making enough to cover his half of the rent on their apartment. Chandler took care of all their financials, and when he tried to get Joey involved, it was like pulling teeth. Joey was probably the only person who spurned commitment more than Chandler did, but it was out of an inherent nature, rather than fear. Joey took sowing his oats with women seriously. It was about the only thing – other than acting – that he took seriously. A guy like that would never settle down; it wasn't in his nature.

And yet Monica was suddenly seriously considering accepting this man as her sperm donor? To make a baby with? It was irresponsible, to make such a decision so….. cavalierly!

In the twilight of this park, Chandler could admit it to himself: he was jealous. True, he hadn't filled out a sperm donor profile, and even if he had, there was no guarantee it would have been passed along to Monica for further scrutiny, much less that she would have recognized him on paper as easily as she had recognized Joey. There had never been a choice presented in which Monica had to select between Chandler and Joey to help her make a baby, and yet the choice she seemed intent on making – after a reversal, indeed, an about-face – still stung.

If her preference was to go with someone she knew as a sperm donor, Chandler knew instinctively that he would be a better candidate instead of Joey. While he shied away from commitment like Joey, it was for different reasons. In any case, Chandler knew that he had the better job (a job he hated, but still, it paid more and better money than an actor on minimum wage would ever see). The dough he raked in not only outstripped Joey, but everyone else in their friend group as well, including Monica, the prospective mother. Certainly, he would be able to provide for a child in a way that Joey never could, barring a significant change in the man's career path.

Chandler's leisurely crawl at last slowed to a stop. The sun had just about set – it was true dusk now. He now felt the uncontrollable urge to run back to Bedford Street, find Monica and talk her out of going down this irrevocable road with Joey. This wasn't as though Joey was writing Monica a check – not like that would ever happen, Chandler reassessed; Joey didn't have two nickels to rub together. No, this was Joey making a contribution to create new life inside one of his best friends – a child that would last forever. Bound Joey and Monica together, forever.

Chandler felt himself blanche. If a baby were conceived, would it behoove Monica and Joey to become something that was more than just friends? He couldn't discount the possibility, even in the face of Monica's assertion that she intended to raise this baby alone. He knew Joey wouldn't turn down an opportunity to be with Monica, if an opportunity ever presented itself. That shouldn't have been saying much – Joey would gladly sleep with anything that had tits, ass, pussy, and an endocrine system. Just the same, the thought of Joey and Monica coming together for the sake of the baby, dating, perhaps one day even marrying…. it painted a picture that for Chandler was too horrible to contemplate.

He had to talk Monica out of this. He had to talk Joey out of this. Whether he spoke to them together, separately, it didn't matter – he had to make them see reason before they did something irreversible. He started to turn around to sprint back through the park to the apartment building, and then stopped.

He had no clue what he was going to say. When Monica and Joey asked why he was objecting, how he was supposed to explain himself without saying something he might regret? Setting aside the unsettling feelings swirling about in his stomach, Chandler also knew he didn't know the first thing about sperm donation, so how was he going to put forward an argument persuasively that Monica shouldn't go down this route right now? Or, at the very least, if she was dead set on taking this route, that she do so with an anonymous donor rather than one of her best friends?

What kind of women accepted sperm from donors, anyway? Aside from his best friend – an attractive, single woman recently out of a fairly serious relationship dashed upon the rocks of potential parenthood.

Chandler sensed a light bulb go off in his head. He knew who he could talk to about this. He dug through the contacts on his phone, at once surprised and relieved when her number still appeared.

Before he lost his nerve, he hit DIAL.

"Hi. Is this….? Hey, how are you? This is Chandler Bing. Can I stop by your place? I have a question, and it's kind of urgent." He listened patiently as the voice on the other end of the line reminded him of her address.

Chandler was glad he hadn't needed to hunt down Ross and ask him such an uncomfortable question as what's the phone number for your ex.

Susan was the one who answered the door, holding Ross's son, Ben, in her arms.

"Hi, Chandler. Come on in. Carol's fixing a snack; I was just about to put Ben down."

Chandler nodded gratefully and stepped into the apartment. He found himself studying the little-more-than-a-year-old toddler squirming in his….. other mother's arms. Ben clearly had inherited more of Carol's features, at least as far as Chandler could see. At this moment, he was grateful for it: he was through with Gellers at the present moment and didn't want to be reminded of the boy's father… or worse still, the boy's aunt.

Chandler was both flummoxed and touched when Carol actually crossed the living room and gave him a hug, balancing a bowl of popcorn along one arm.

"Coffee?"

Chandler nodded gratefully, lowering himself onto the couch and wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. Carol circled back with the coffee just as Susan was emerging from down the hallway, this time sans Ben.

"Cream and sugar?"

"Thanks," Chandler accepted softly.

"So…." Carol's smile was friendly, if also a little bemused, as she, along with her partner behind her, studied Chandler from down the couch. "What's up, Chandler? We were kind of surprised to have you call from out of the blue."

Chandler flushed, and for the first time, he began to wonder if this was such a good idea. Monica had told her friends and her brother of her plans, but did he have the right to talk about Monica's goals and desires with her lesbian ex-sister-in-law?

He decided to split the difference by speaking in vagaries.

"Ben…. wasn't an intended pregnancy. He was a…. surprise…."

Carol chuckled, more bemused than ever. "Well…. yes…."

"And…." Chandler scratched at the back of his neck. "You certainly didn't get pregnant in a way you might have planned or intended."

He noticed how Susan stiffened behind her partner. "What's your point, Chandler?"

Chandler awkwardly cleared his throat. "Would…. you guys ever someday want for Ben to have little siblings to play with?"

Carol and Susan looked at each other, baffled. "Well, maybe someday, but I don't see how that's any of your business…" Carol floated, uncomfortable.

Chandler winced. He was burying the lead. "Suppose that you…. gals….. did want another baby. How…. how would you…. get one?" he asked lamely.

Carol and Susan glanced at each other and both frowned.

"Would you go for adoption? Or…. a sperm donor?"

Carol bit her lip. "I think my personal preference would be for us to go the donor route, and I would carry the baby…." She sighed. "Chandler, what is this about?"

"Would you prefer an anonymous donor or someone who was…. known to you?" Chandler queried, ignoring Carol's question completely. "Like, if you wanted the baby to be Ben's true sibling, would you ask Ross to make a sperm donation – probably not in the same method in which he made one the last time." He grimaced again.

Carol let out a bark of uncomfortable laughter. "I don't think I would turn to Ross for any more of his swimmers…."

"Chandler, I don't mean to be rude, but what are you getting at?" Susan interrupted.

Chandler gulped. "What if I told you that I had this friend who is looking to get pregnant from a sperm donor – a donor who is known to her?" He gestured between Carol and Susan. "I mean, you guys are clearly not into getting pregnant the good old fashioned way…." He chuckled uncomfortably; Susan frowned. "So, say you went the sperm donor route, and say you chose a donor who was known to you – but it's not Ross! What would happen? Just hypothetically?"

Carol and Susan glanced at each other. "Well….. we would probably get family lawyers involved to make sure that Susan had legal rights to the child," Carol thought out. "We would make clear in legal documentation that the sperm donor's parental responsibility ended after conception. Then, we would have to decide when we wanted the baby to know about their biological father, if ever, and if the father could be contacted." Carol shrugged. "I just know that, in that scenario, I would only want to raise a baby with Susan." The couple shared tender looks and leaned in to kiss softly.

….. Joey would be bummed to have missed this, Chandler thought. The only phenomenon more arousing to his roommate than a hot woman was two hot women – particularly two hot women doing… stuff with each other.

Chandler cleared his throat awkwardly. Carol had brought up some really good points, particularly legal ones. Had Monica considered any of this stuff? Perhaps not yet, but knowing how detail-oriented she was, he figured – he hoped – she might come around to making these considerations soon. Certainly before any insemination.

Had Joey considered any of this stuff? Almost definitely not. Furthermore, what role would Joey have to play in the pregnancy, if, as Monica seemed to suggest, neither he nor any sperm donor would be involved in any of the child rearing? Would Joey be required to attend Monica's OBGYN appointments, for example? Envisioning that possibility alone left Chandler stewing in feelings of jealousy and envy that he would rather not contemplate at the moment.

With new resolve, he stood, hugging Carol and Susan in turn. "Thanks for your time. Your insight's been really helpful," he expressed sincerely. Then he departed, leaving the two lesbian lovers and moms even more baffled than before.